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Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language
Psychonomic Bulletin Review
Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness
Dunbar R M Baron R Frangou A Eiluned P van Leeuwen E J C Stow J
Partridge G MacDonald I Barra V van Vugt M Social laughter is correlated with
an elevated pain threshold Proceedings of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences
Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language
Wohr M Kehl M Borta A Schanzer A Schwarting R K Hoglinger G U
New insights into the relationship of neurogenesis and affect Tickling induces hippocampal cell
proliferation in rats emitting appetitive kHz ultrasonic vocalizations Neuroscience
Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people
Penguin Random House
Rogers C A way of being Houghton Mifflin
Sanders T The likability factor Crown
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
Chapter Conclusions
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it Soren Kierkegaard
Spite and illnature are among the most expensive luxuries in life Dr Samuel Johnson
The Exercises and Activities
The results you will gain from this program come in many forms and interact synergistically
They dont merely complement one another in an additive way but in a multiplicative one
For example the benefits derived from paced breathing diaphragmatic jogging passive
exhalation and stretching the diaphragm supplement each other As you get better at one
you get better at the others Because these skills are all interrelated they promote and
reinforce each other This leads to recursive improvement in which the skills form structural
platforms elevating you into an upward spiral
hope you now feel that you have a tool kit of actionable exercises and access to deep
wells of strength that had previously laid untapped You may not be sold on all the exercises
here Choose the ones you like the most and practice those for now As you monitor your
progress you may realize you have largely rehabilitated certain body parts This may motivate
you to go back to other exercises that didnt seem as appealing at first In this book wrote
about what found helpful to pair with paced breathing What benefitted me is not necessarily
what will best benefit you so encourage you to experiment with your own forms of
diaphragmatic generalization If you come up with a new technique please share it on the web
with our online community
Do keep in mind that a few days of changed perspective might feel like enough to gain the
full benefits of Program Peace However it may not be sufficient to override your ingrained
routines permanently This system is all about rehearsal Sustained weekly practice is key
Be persistent and your efforts will pay off Some of these activities may feel onerous at first
but they will quickly become comfortable after you have completed them a few times Most of
the exercises in this book are at least partially routinized after the first five sessions This means
they can be done with minimal concentration from that point on ie while on the phone or in
front of the TV
It was incredibly heartening to know that these exercises were slowly making me a
stronger happier person knew that was making daily progress and that something of value
was germinating within me Anticipate positive results with pleasure and excitement When this
happens the exercises become intrinsically rewarding As you watch yourself change you will
realize that all these attributes you assumed were genetic and fixed at birth are trainable
By the end of this book the first table from Chapter should take on an entirely new
meaning Employ as many of the dominant displays from that table as you can in the
exercise below
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
Concluding Exercise Diaphragmatic Phone Conversation
Perform paced breathing with a breath metronome while on the phone with a friend
Breathe nasally guided by a metronome when the other person is speaking When you are
talking take complete inhales without gasping and then speak over a complete exhalation
Try it in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye calmly as if you were looking at your
caller Next use a handsfree attachment for your phone and walk around your house back
yard or neighborhood while using as many of the elements of optimal body language
described in this book as you can
Stress and Overexertion
As this book has contended operating without composure can gravely deplete our health
When we live in distress we are borrowing health from our future It is the toll exacted ona
methamphetamine addict or a president during an eightyear term We are talking about a
constant state of overexertion in which the body takes a lot of abuse at the expense of your
charisma physique intelligence mental health and spiritual growth
Distress is an appropriate strategy for an animal with strong evidence that it may die ina
few seconds It is a terrible strategy for you and me We have discussed how your fight or flight
response is seldom directed toward actual fighting or taking flight Instead it is directed to
bracing strain paradoxical breathing hyperventilation apneic disturbances rapid heartbeat
pain egoism and submission To prove to your body that you are not at risk of premature
death you have to divert your focus away from the bad toward gratitude playfulness purity
and optimism
The retraction of the gill by the sea slugs discussed in Chapter shows that they dont
have faith in their world The slugs exhibiting this defensive reflex in response to being
uncontrollably prodded and shocked in the lab are on high alert Their defensive and escape
responses are exaggerated and their responses to positive events are blunted The slugs that
have not been subjected to this dont show the same defensiveness and are referred to by
scientists as naive
Just because you are not on high alert doesnt mean you are naive Be the sea slug that has
seen it all and yet still knows that the best way to live is never to brace its gills Dont treat
every threat as novel Generalize your desensitization to negativity toward every conceivable
peril Do it now Drop your facade let your gills hang keep drawing long deep inhalations
and learn to expect the best from the world
Your Transformation
Before Program Peace was uncomfortable with my own presence exuded tentativeness and
a lack of any conviction would wring my hands constantly My dreams were always desperate
situations Once a week would wake from sleep yelling in terror Between the ages of and
would find myself whispering the words Oh my god over and over every day That was
a nightmare was my mantra had unbearable tension welling up inside of me gushing out in
the form of tortured body language hated my home everything in my room everything on
Chapter Conclusions
my desk all things and all people because experienced them through the throes of
distressed breathing
When turned discovered that everything hurt a little bit It hurt to stand up it hurt to
run it hurt to sit for too long it hurt to turn my neck it hurt to use the restroom it hurt to
swallow and every social interaction hurt concluded that this was an irreversible effect of
aging But now am twice that age and none of those things hurt After two years of Program
Peace you should find that you feel much younger than when you started You will experience
a personal metamorphosis internally and externally You will have acquaintances ask what kind