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Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language |
Psychonomic Bulletin Review |
Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness |
Dunbar R M Baron R Frangou A Eiluned P van Leeuwen E J C Stow J |
Partridge G MacDonald I Barra V van Vugt M Social laughter is correlated with |
an elevated pain threshold Proceedings of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences |
Dunbar R M Group size vocal grooming and the origins of language |
Wohr M Kehl M Borta A Schanzer A Schwarting R K Hoglinger G U |
New insights into the relationship of neurogenesis and affect Tickling induces hippocampal cell |
proliferation in rats emitting appetitive kHz ultrasonic vocalizations Neuroscience |
Van Edwards V Captivate The science of succeeding with people |
Penguin Random House |
Rogers C A way of being Houghton Mifflin |
Sanders T The likability factor Crown |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Chapter Conclusions |
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it Soren Kierkegaard |
Spite and illnature are among the most expensive luxuries in life Dr Samuel Johnson |
The Exercises and Activities |
The results you will gain from this program come in many forms and interact synergistically |
They dont merely complement one another in an additive way but in a multiplicative one |
For example the benefits derived from paced breathing diaphragmatic jogging passive |
exhalation and stretching the diaphragm supplement each other As you get better at one |
you get better at the others Because these skills are all interrelated they promote and |
reinforce each other This leads to recursive improvement in which the skills form structural |
platforms elevating you into an upward spiral |
hope you now feel that you have a tool kit of actionable exercises and access to deep |
wells of strength that had previously laid untapped You may not be sold on all the exercises |
here Choose the ones you like the most and practice those for now As you monitor your |
progress you may realize you have largely rehabilitated certain body parts This may motivate |
you to go back to other exercises that didnt seem as appealing at first In this book wrote |
about what found helpful to pair with paced breathing What benefitted me is not necessarily |
what will best benefit you so encourage you to experiment with your own forms of |
diaphragmatic generalization If you come up with a new technique please share it on the web |
with our online community |
Do keep in mind that a few days of changed perspective might feel like enough to gain the |
full benefits of Program Peace However it may not be sufficient to override your ingrained |
routines permanently This system is all about rehearsal Sustained weekly practice is key |
Be persistent and your efforts will pay off Some of these activities may feel onerous at first |
but they will quickly become comfortable after you have completed them a few times Most of |
the exercises in this book are at least partially routinized after the first five sessions This means |
they can be done with minimal concentration from that point on ie while on the phone or in |
front of the TV |
It was incredibly heartening to know that these exercises were slowly making me a |
stronger happier person knew that was making daily progress and that something of value |
was germinating within me Anticipate positive results with pleasure and excitement When this |
happens the exercises become intrinsically rewarding As you watch yourself change you will |
realize that all these attributes you assumed were genetic and fixed at birth are trainable |
By the end of this book the first table from Chapter should take on an entirely new |
meaning Employ as many of the dominant displays from that table as you can in the |
exercise below |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Concluding Exercise Diaphragmatic Phone Conversation |
Perform paced breathing with a breath metronome while on the phone with a friend |
Breathe nasally guided by a metronome when the other person is speaking When you are |
talking take complete inhales without gasping and then speak over a complete exhalation |
Try it in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye calmly as if you were looking at your |
caller Next use a handsfree attachment for your phone and walk around your house back |
yard or neighborhood while using as many of the elements of optimal body language |
described in this book as you can |
Stress and Overexertion |
As this book has contended operating without composure can gravely deplete our health |
When we live in distress we are borrowing health from our future It is the toll exacted ona |
methamphetamine addict or a president during an eightyear term We are talking about a |
constant state of overexertion in which the body takes a lot of abuse at the expense of your |
charisma physique intelligence mental health and spiritual growth |
Distress is an appropriate strategy for an animal with strong evidence that it may die ina |
few seconds It is a terrible strategy for you and me We have discussed how your fight or flight |
response is seldom directed toward actual fighting or taking flight Instead it is directed to |
bracing strain paradoxical breathing hyperventilation apneic disturbances rapid heartbeat |
pain egoism and submission To prove to your body that you are not at risk of premature |
death you have to divert your focus away from the bad toward gratitude playfulness purity |
and optimism |
The retraction of the gill by the sea slugs discussed in Chapter shows that they dont |
have faith in their world The slugs exhibiting this defensive reflex in response to being |
uncontrollably prodded and shocked in the lab are on high alert Their defensive and escape |
responses are exaggerated and their responses to positive events are blunted The slugs that |
have not been subjected to this dont show the same defensiveness and are referred to by |
scientists as naive |
Just because you are not on high alert doesnt mean you are naive Be the sea slug that has |
seen it all and yet still knows that the best way to live is never to brace its gills Dont treat |
every threat as novel Generalize your desensitization to negativity toward every conceivable |
peril Do it now Drop your facade let your gills hang keep drawing long deep inhalations |
and learn to expect the best from the world |
Your Transformation |
Before Program Peace was uncomfortable with my own presence exuded tentativeness and |
a lack of any conviction would wring my hands constantly My dreams were always desperate |
situations Once a week would wake from sleep yelling in terror Between the ages of and |
would find myself whispering the words Oh my god over and over every day That was |
a nightmare was my mantra had unbearable tension welling up inside of me gushing out in |
the form of tortured body language hated my home everything in my room everything on |
Chapter Conclusions |
my desk all things and all people because experienced them through the throes of |
distressed breathing |
When turned discovered that everything hurt a little bit It hurt to stand up it hurt to |
run it hurt to sit for too long it hurt to turn my neck it hurt to use the restroom it hurt to |
swallow and every social interaction hurt concluded that this was an irreversible effect of |
aging But now am twice that age and none of those things hurt After two years of Program |
Peace you should find that you feel much younger than when you started You will experience |
a personal metamorphosis internally and externally You will have acquaintances ask what kind |
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