monomer/program_peace · Datasets at Hugging Face

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interspersed with tumbling tickling chasing wrestling playgnawing and lipsmacking sounds
We know the primate playface as gaping in childlike wonderment Our ability to gape has
been reduced by our uptight attitudes and by excessive tension in the jaw However we can
refurbish it Recover yours because in some ways the playface is better than the smile
Happiness Exercise Gaping in Childlike Awe Is the PlayFace
Bring back your childhood ability to express astonishment and delight Relax your eyebrows
widen your eyes and allow your jaw to gape widely Gape without baring the teeth Gape as
if you have no inhibitions about how your wideopen mouth will appear to other people
Imagine that your wide mouth influences others to share your sense of playfulness and
excitement Pretend you are seven and just discovered something wonderful that you can
share with your buddies Alternate this expression with your smile When you use it think
Thats incredible or Wanna play It also makes a great greeting or a reaction to
a surprise
Illustration A Woman in awe B Chimpanzee play face C Baby excited
Happy babies open their mouths wide when laughing Socially defeated adults open their
mouths the least In my twenties wasnt able to open my jaw fully and trying to was painful
Any gaping would make my jaw creak and crack Dropping my jaw in any social situation
Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness
seemed like dropping my guard Pairing gaping with diaphragmatic breathing for less than
minutes gave my jaw an oil change It has never creaked or cracked since Now that gaping feels
natural feel less serious and more encouraged to have fun Master your play face
Become a Great Conversationalist
One of the best ways to play with and love others is through conversation Unfortunately
most of us have learned to converse competitively The conversational narcissist wants to keep
the attention on themselves and control the conversation as much as possible We are all
narcissistic in this way and we all see conversations as competitions to some extent
We pretend to listen but are really just thinking about what we want to say once we have found
an opening or way to interrupt This is like the mouse that always wants to be on top Nobody
wants to play with him
Lavish your attention on the other speaker Support their topics of choice Question how
you can get this person to open up further What is their underlying interest Keep asking
why until you get to what they want to say but arent saying Why helps you discover their
motivations for speaking It also helps to ask what where when and who Keep your
interrogatives openended They should act like bridges not dead ends Ask openended
questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no Ask And what did you say next
and Then what happened Focus on positive topics and use the word you more than
Turn Yeah but into Yes and Separate asking for clarification from disagreement and
separate debate from criticism
Without empathic listening and anticipating the motivations of others talking becomes
socialized egoism So urge them to elaborate Active listening involves engagement empathy
and validation Refer back to what they said earlier Reiterate their point but put a spin on it
Use your knowledge to help them flesh out and provide evidence for their ideas and opinions
The more interested you are in them the more interesting you will be to them Make people
feel like they matter The more you treat them as mature intelligent and wellfunctioning the
more they will see those qualities in you
Have you ever had a night out with a friend during which an absorbing conversation left
you feeling deeply satisfied Try to attain this kind of satisfaction for you and the other person
during every conversation Pursue a deep feeling of connection that makes the rest of the world
feel less important Good conversation is the primary form of social engagement for us humans
and the emotional connection it provides is one of the best ways to bond play and laugh It is
also a surefire way to activate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system Even
simple things like brief face time short chats small talk and meals with others are vital to our
health Maximize your time spent with people who make you feel good after being with them
and try to be that person for others
Practice Dancing as a Form of Play
Dancing is one of the best forms of play It has been squelched for most of us due to social
apprehension selfinhibition and contamination from distressed breathing The following
exercise will address this by teaching you to rest while dancing
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
Happiness Exercise Uninterrupted Freeform Dancing
Put on your favorite type of music to dance to Dont worry about using a breath metronome
but you might want to place some tape over your lips to ensure nasal breathing If you dont
have natural rhythm start by sitting down and making a fist Strike your fist softly on a stable
surface to the beat of the music Try to synchronize as best you can with the rhythm
Next bob your head in the same way
Take this synchronization with you as you stand up and start to pound your feet on the floor
to the music Step forward and back left and right so that your foot makes contact with the
ground at the exact time the beat hits Bend sway whirl and move your arms in time with
your feet If you dont know what to do with your feet then look up the twostep
Heres the key Dont stop no matter how awkward it feels Continue dancing completely
uninterrupted for at least one entire song Then try to dance through several songs while
imagining you are a professional performer or gogo dancer on a stage Since you are being
paid to dance you cannot stop By not stopping you force yourself to close the gaps in your
performance These gaps are where you usually stop dancing because you start to feel self
conscious and you look around at your friends with a sheepish smile while breathing
shallowly Push right through them Also use startle awareness to ensure that you are not
startling while moving
You brace certain body parts while dancing These tend to fatigue very quickly However
if you force yourself to keep moving you will learn to stop bracing them out of necessity
As you continue to fatigue you will have no choice but to learn to rest while dancing
You may have to dance continuously for at least minutes to reach this point In doing this
your dance moves will become less neurotically charged more fluent jubilant and playful
Let loose If it helps at all dance in the dark Dance as if no one is watching with no fear of
being seen as a quirky goofball The only reason you might look goofy is that letting loose
is unpracticed
Savor Goosebumps to Strengthen the Response
The fullbody tingling that you feel when you get goosebumps comes from a surge in
endorphins It is also known as the aesthetic chill response or frisson This happens when you
feel victorious encounter something beautiful hear a moving melody or even when you find
yourself strutting in the face of danger The goosebumps on your skin come from the bristling
of tiny hairs in a reaction called piloerection It makes furry animals look bigger by forcing their
hair to stand on end This is responsible for the raised hackles on a surprised wolf the plump
tail of a cat before a fight and for the bristling fur on a chimp that is marching around putting
on a dominance display
There are ways to elicit the response deliberately You can try listening to your favorite
music singing loudly and unabashedly panthooting partaking in ASMR via online videos
or by using the massage and caressing techniques discussed in Chapter Another way to send
Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness
a shiver up your spine is to combine the postural exercises from various chapters to walk
around in public as if you have an S on your chest Regardless the best way to strengthen the

interspersed with tumbling tickling chasing wrestling playgnawing and lipsmacking sounds

We know the primate playface as gaping in childlike wonderment Our ability to gape has

been reduced by our uptight attitudes and by excessive tension in the jaw However we can

refurbish it Recover yours because in some ways the playface is better than the smile

Happiness Exercise Gaping in Childlike Awe Is the PlayFace

Bring back your childhood ability to express astonishment and delight Relax your eyebrows

widen your eyes and allow your jaw to gape widely Gape without baring the teeth Gape as

if you have no inhibitions about how your wideopen mouth will appear to other people

Imagine that your wide mouth influences others to share your sense of playfulness and

excitement Pretend you are seven and just discovered something wonderful that you can

share with your buddies Alternate this expression with your smile When you use it think

Thats incredible or Wanna play It also makes a great greeting or a reaction to

a surprise

Illustration A Woman in awe B Chimpanzee play face C Baby excited

Happy babies open their mouths wide when laughing Socially defeated adults open their

mouths the least In my twenties wasnt able to open my jaw fully and trying to was painful

Any gaping would make my jaw creak and crack Dropping my jaw in any social situation

Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness

seemed like dropping my guard Pairing gaping with diaphragmatic breathing for less than

minutes gave my jaw an oil change It has never creaked or cracked since Now that gaping feels

natural feel less serious and more encouraged to have fun Master your play face

Become a Great Conversationalist

One of the best ways to play with and love others is through conversation Unfortunately

most of us have learned to converse competitively The conversational narcissist wants to keep

the attention on themselves and control the conversation as much as possible We are all

narcissistic in this way and we all see conversations as competitions to some extent

We pretend to listen but are really just thinking about what we want to say once we have found

an opening or way to interrupt This is like the mouse that always wants to be on top Nobody

wants to play with him

Lavish your attention on the other speaker Support their topics of choice Question how

you can get this person to open up further What is their underlying interest Keep asking

why until you get to what they want to say but arent saying Why helps you discover their

motivations for speaking It also helps to ask what where when and who Keep your

interrogatives openended They should act like bridges not dead ends Ask openended

questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no Ask And what did you say next

and Then what happened Focus on positive topics and use the word you more than

Turn Yeah but into Yes and Separate asking for clarification from disagreement and

separate debate from criticism

Without empathic listening and anticipating the motivations of others talking becomes

socialized egoism So urge them to elaborate Active listening involves engagement empathy

and validation Refer back to what they said earlier Reiterate their point but put a spin on it

Use your knowledge to help them flesh out and provide evidence for their ideas and opinions

The more interested you are in them the more interesting you will be to them Make people

feel like they matter The more you treat them as mature intelligent and wellfunctioning the

more they will see those qualities in you

Have you ever had a night out with a friend during which an absorbing conversation left

you feeling deeply satisfied Try to attain this kind of satisfaction for you and the other person

during every conversation Pursue a deep feeling of connection that makes the rest of the world

feel less important Good conversation is the primary form of social engagement for us humans

and the emotional connection it provides is one of the best ways to bond play and laugh It is

also a surefire way to activate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system Even

simple things like brief face time short chats small talk and meals with others are vital to our

health Maximize your time spent with people who make you feel good after being with them

and try to be that person for others

Practice Dancing as a Form of Play

Dancing is one of the best forms of play It has been squelched for most of us due to social

apprehension selfinhibition and contamination from distressed breathing The following

exercise will address this by teaching you to rest while dancing

PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body

Happiness Exercise Uninterrupted Freeform Dancing

Put on your favorite type of music to dance to Dont worry about using a breath metronome

but you might want to place some tape over your lips to ensure nasal breathing If you dont

have natural rhythm start by sitting down and making a fist Strike your fist softly on a stable

surface to the beat of the music Try to synchronize as best you can with the rhythm

Next bob your head in the same way

Take this synchronization with you as you stand up and start to pound your feet on the floor

to the music Step forward and back left and right so that your foot makes contact with the

ground at the exact time the beat hits Bend sway whirl and move your arms in time with

your feet If you dont know what to do with your feet then look up the twostep

Heres the key Dont stop no matter how awkward it feels Continue dancing completely

uninterrupted for at least one entire song Then try to dance through several songs while

imagining you are a professional performer or gogo dancer on a stage Since you are being

paid to dance you cannot stop By not stopping you force yourself to close the gaps in your

performance These gaps are where you usually stop dancing because you start to feel self

conscious and you look around at your friends with a sheepish smile while breathing

shallowly Push right through them Also use startle awareness to ensure that you are not

startling while moving

You brace certain body parts while dancing These tend to fatigue very quickly However

if you force yourself to keep moving you will learn to stop bracing them out of necessity

As you continue to fatigue you will have no choice but to learn to rest while dancing

You may have to dance continuously for at least minutes to reach this point In doing this

your dance moves will become less neurotically charged more fluent jubilant and playful

Let loose If it helps at all dance in the dark Dance as if no one is watching with no fear of

being seen as a quirky goofball The only reason you might look goofy is that letting loose

is unpracticed

Savor Goosebumps to Strengthen the Response

The fullbody tingling that you feel when you get goosebumps comes from a surge in

endorphins It is also known as the aesthetic chill response or frisson This happens when you

feel victorious encounter something beautiful hear a moving melody or even when you find

yourself strutting in the face of danger The goosebumps on your skin come from the bristling

of tiny hairs in a reaction called piloerection It makes furry animals look bigger by forcing their

hair to stand on end This is responsible for the raised hackles on a surprised wolf the plump

tail of a cat before a fight and for the bristling fur on a chimp that is marching around putting

on a dominance display

There are ways to elicit the response deliberately You can try listening to your favorite

music singing loudly and unabashedly panthooting partaking in ASMR via online videos

or by using the massage and caressing techniques discussed in Chapter Another way to send

Chapter Finding Happiness Through Playfulness Composed Kindness

a shiver up your spine is to combine the postural exercises from various chapters to walk

around in public as if you have an S on your chest Regardless the best way to strengthen the