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See the roadmap for your life as a long series of green lights and ease off the breaks |
At every fork in the road ask yourself How would an undamaged badass version of me deal |
with this situation Start visualizing this person when you think about yourself When you |
imagine doing something picture this person doing it In time you will become that person |
Within a pack of mammals status roles are often initially determined by an animals |
intrinsic energy level The boisterous youngsters become the pack leaders These are usually |
animals that have very low activation of the behavioral inhibition system The animals that |
expend more energy in play foraging and socializing rise to leadership positions How can you |
get your energy levels up This book has detailed how how to remove knots how to reverse |
frailty and how not to leak energy |
Dominant people proactively pursue their interests without being hindered by |
unproductive social fears They have faith in their ability to succeed and trust that others cant |
stop them They are not embarrassed easily Neither do they secondguess themselves or worry |
about what others will think Dont stifle the pleasure principle and hide your desires just to get |
along with others Like a rambunctious wolf cub learn to be okay with the social conflict that |
arises when you try to gratify your wants |
Dont be a zoo animal released into a wildlife park that still crouches within the invisible |
confines of its old cage Having put yourself on a short leash you are the only one who can take |
it off To beat the behavioral inhibition system you must be spontaneous and do the first thing |
that comes to mind more often Dont be afraid to let your inner animal free Be resolute in |
your opinions Charm people with pizzazz Make bold and audacious announcements about |
positive things Show some backbone sing with your heart and live with guts and gusto |
Chapter Conclusions |
Ilustration Analogies used in this text |
Being Pure of Heart Will Free You from Retaliation Apprehension |
Let me leave you with a description of one final concept from psychology retaliation |
apprehension This is when we feel worried that someone will take what we are saying or doing |
in the wrong way and get offended Retaliation apprehension shows in your face breathing |
and body language It is difficult to describe verbally but people recognize it immediately when |
they see it |
My brother has extraordinarily little retaliation apprehension This is why he can make a |
personal joke about someone and they never get mad Often it seems that he can say |
whatever he wants to anyone at any time and get away with it If were to say the same thing |
in the same tone people would be miffed My brother can do this because he shows zero |
concern about the other person retaliating This allows him to poke fun at people and things in |
a playful way without offending |
Retaliation apprehension is not just an admission of remorse for known wrongdoing It is a |
state of mind we have even when we have done nothing wrong A tendency toward retaliation |
apprehension can start very early in life Many adults have anxious attachment issues that |
stem from their early relationship with their parents The child with anxious attachment is |
preoccupied with what pleases and displeases their caretaker They see their relationship |
with their mother and father as fragile and they feel at risk for rejection and abandonment |
This leads to fear of and obsession with the emotions of others |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Refrain from scanning others for a hint of displeasure with you It is submissive The best |
way to do this is to not think about it Drop any worries about defending yourself Expecting the |
other person to like you and not being offended should be presumptive and implicit in your |
demeanor Regularly dropping your defenses in this way should lower your cortisol blood |
pressure and heart rate while raising your feelgood neurotransmitters and HRV It should also |
make it easier to breathe with the diaphragm |
Acting with zero retaliation apprehension is one of the most dominant things you can do |
Still it must be authentic To do it properly you must have good intentions This is where being |
pure of heart discussed in the last chapter comes in When you feel completely secure in the |
fact that your actions are well intentioned and that you are a force for good fear of retaliation |
wont even cross your mind It will make social harmony a default that you dont have to work |
or strive for When using the pure of heart mindset your retaliation apprehension can be nil |
even when your behavioral activation system is running at full force |
Conclusion How to Play the Dominance Game |
Humans have a strong instinctual predilection for submissive behavior When submissive body |
language goes on for too long it makes us vulnerable to various forms of muscular tension |
which in turn make us vulnerable to disease This biological propensity should be studied |
through both basic and applied research and fully addressed by medical science There should |
also be explicit social contracts that limit the extent of submissiveness we require from one |
another in both personal and professional sectors The more awareness you and can create |
the sooner this will happen |
Hopefully this book has made it clear that the abysmal repercussions of submission and |
aggression hamper human potential If we can minimize our tendencies toward destructive |
status striving and the social tensions that eat us up inside we can increase our productiveness |
If we can help others do this we can increase humankinds productivity and problemsolving |
potential |
If someone has better posture than we do we should still stand tall If someone has a more |
powerful voice we should continue to speak powerfully If someone has a bigger smile we |
should keep smiling wholeheartedly Comparing ourselves to others like arming ourselves |
against others is for animals in submissive mode Put your sword anger and shield |
rejection sensitivity down Let your burdensome armor retaliation apprehension drop to the |
floor Recognize that the combination of being nonaggressive and nonsubmissive has made |
you not only invulnerable but incomparable |
If you are going to play the dominance game play it with a competitive spirit play it fairly |
play it without malice and without exposing yourself to trauma Play it breathing |
diaphragmatically all the while Dont flaunt your position or be embarrassed by it Dont puff |
up when things go your way and dont shrivel up when they dont Think of yourself as |
dominant without having to dominate Keep in mind that no one really wins in the end so there |
is no reason to keep score Instead see competition as iron sharpening iron See it as |
productive play that makes every participant stronger Turn contests into friendly cooperative |
games in which everyone is a teammate whether they know it or not This will not only earn |
you friends but it will also make you imperturbable indomitable and selfpossessed |
Chapter Conclusions |
Chapter Endnotes |
Braem S Duthoo W Notebaert W Punishment sensitivity predicts the impact |
of punishment on cognitive control PLoS ONE e |
Moehler E Kagan J OelkersAx R Brunner R Poustka L Haffner J Resch F |
Infant predictors of behavioral inhibition British Journal of Development Psychology |
Gray J A The psychophysiological basis of introversionextraversion |
Behavioral Research and Therapy |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Program Peace Paced Breathing App for iPhone and Android |
Download the free Program Peace app as a companion to this book Using the app will train you |
to breathe deeper and longer It also provides an easytouse interface without bloat clutter |
ads signins inapp purchases or full version upgrades |
Place the app next to a book computer monitor tablet or TV so that you can pace your |
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