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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode of the Tony Robbins podcast is brought to you by Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever area in your life you want to change, your health, your relationship, your career, or your business, Unleash the Power Within will awaken your spirit and pave the way for breakthroughs to make that all happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Join Tony Robbins Live from the comfort of your own home as Unleash the Power Within is currently 100% virtual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Learn more at upwvirtual.com slash pod." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s upwvirtual.com forward slash pod." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey, everybody, it s Tony Robbins, Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m real excited to be with you today because, you know, I ve had the privilege of working with some of the greatest athletes in history, and I ve been to some of the most amazing fights, both boxing and UFC." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This last January, I got to work with Conor McGregor, which was a great privilege, and watch him win the fight in the first 40 seconds, and all the electricity of that, but also the beauty of sportsmanship, of watching Conor go over there and hug his opponent, you know, afterwards, and sincere, and acknowledge his grandmother, who was cowboy, his opponent s greatest influence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So sports can bring out the best in us or the worst in us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It depends on our character." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve worked with a lot of amazing athletes over the time, and during their tough times and during some of their best times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when people see boxing or UFC, I think a lot of times they think it s just ruffians, people who s beaten up on each other, and they don t understand the discipline involved in boxing or martial arts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Boxing is often called the sweet sport." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a combination of skill sets and intellect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It isn t just physical force." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in history are the ones that can combine their psychology, their spirit, their soul, and that physical body to produce extraordinary results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we all need to be able to face our fears and move forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I thought in the middle of this kind of COVID environment, it might be nice to visit, you know, ringside with a legend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m here with an unbelievable legend, the only man to be a four times world boxing champion, Evander Holyfield." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, brother, for taking the time to visit with us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, we were talking just before we started about interviews." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, how many interviews you ve done over your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you share what you share with me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, here s this incredibly powerful man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what was it like in the beginning?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it was the most scary thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was harder than the fight, you know, just to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Guessing what this person may ask me and I answered properly Yes, and how and how did you learn to deal with that over the years you built obviously to now it doesn t bother you But what did it take to get there because I heard it really was tough on you in the beginning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you know, it s just thing" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Knowing that if you make a mistake, you know that you made one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People make mistakes, but repetition is what make people better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, well that s true in fighting or in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So listen, tell us a little bit about your childhood, a little bit, if we could start there, because you started fighting when you were like seven years old, if I understand correctly, is that right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or eight, when you were in the box?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I started at eight years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What happened, I was coming from the football field." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I seen a guy hitting his speed bat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I want to go in and ask him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, sir, can I hit the speed bat?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the man looked at me and said, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, because you have to be on the boxing team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, well, sir, I want to be on the boxing team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the next day, I asked him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then the next day, he said, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "On the fourth day, I looked at him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He looked at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "turn my head and start walking the other way, he turned his back and I ran up there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I asked him again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I come in there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us a little about who influenced your life the most, not only in boxing, but in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mom was, my mom actually my everything, you know, that got me started." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if it wasn t for my mother, you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I d tell him where I would have been." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so touched." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At eight years old, is that when the guy said you think he could be world champion?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you were at the boys club?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us that story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then tell us what you said to the man when he said you could be world champion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, the man told me I could be the heavyweight champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he said, uh... At eight years old?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, eight years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, what you think?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, I got to ask my mama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he look, and he s all, you don t want to be there with your, I said, but I got to ask my mama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, if I don t ask my mama, I can t even try." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mama said, no, that s it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s when the man looked at me and said, you got a good mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you did ask your mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you ask her that night?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I sure did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what d you say?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I asked my mom, and this is how it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had the little house, and everybody in the front room looking at TV." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when I come in," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They looked at me and they said, where you going?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, I gotta ask mama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They said, what you gonna ask mama?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they trying to find out if I m in trouble or not, because if I m in trouble, they know they may get a little piece of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re older, they should be looking out for you, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I go in there and I start trying to tell my mama what this man was trying to tell me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so my mama kind of talked real loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She said, what you say?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, mama, this white man at the boys level said I can be the heavyweight champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And my mama looked, she looked at me, and when she get that look, I got to step back, or she may swing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she- Did you become a great boxer?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I m telling you, I got to get them hands up there quick." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Always go for the head, she never go to the butt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Always shoot the head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so what happened, my mama said, do you know what they re going to do to you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I just act like I didn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, no man, they re going to hit you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I looked at her and I started laughing because all my brothers and sisters hit me, I get three whippings a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And now I m a cousin getting hit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So getting hit ain t nothing new." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So my mom said, well, you can t hit them back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, yeah, you can do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I remember going in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and saying, Evander Holyfield, heavyweight champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when I went back and told my coach, my mama said I could be the heavyweight champion, he said, what, what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know coach, here I am, I m 65 pounds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m telling my coach, my mama said I could be the heavyweight champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what was the advice she gave you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She gave you three pieces of advice that you ve repeated your whole life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, follow direction, don t quit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How important has that been in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That still goes on today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because things still get tough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you have to not quit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, you re 58 years old, and one of the reasons I m here is I know you re in the best shape of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You look like you re 25." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you want to fight with Mike Tyson again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You had pretty legendary fights in those 90s that you guys had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The history you guys have is amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I love about both of you is you re both such incredibly intense competitors, and you tease and taunt each other, but you really do have a friendship as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me what you respect about Mike Tyson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, these guys here is a lot bigger, but Mike Arnold was shorter than everybody s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, and he still destroyed them all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He hit the birds and all this, and I seen him fighting guys, 6 5 , 6 6 , and you know, he get in the peek-a-boo style, and get in there, and he was like a rattlesnake, man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He get them so fast and all that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of a sudden, I realized, I said, if he can do it, I can do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So he actually was a role model for you at one stage?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, yeah, because the thing is- You re older than him, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, yeah, I m four years older than him, but he got in there, I m telling you, he got the first opportunity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He beat these guys, and I said, you know, if Mike can do it, I can do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, now, I became the Cruiserweight champion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When I became the Cruiserweight champion, I thought that was great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "when I beat the white Miami Coyote on my 12th professional fight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Went 15 rounds, lost 15 pounds, and all this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And all of a sudden, after I came the undisputed cruiserweight champion, then the thing was is that, phew, Mike get $2 million a fight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I get $200,000 a fight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I go ask the Showtime people, what s the difference?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They said, well, Mike the heavyweight champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I say shi-" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, how much you give me as I move up the headway?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They said, you know, Mike gonna kill you, man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, no, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, we sparred before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of a sudden, when that time came, the whole big thing was, all right, you beat all these guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the avenue we took, it was to fight all the people that Mike fought." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I saw it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting them guys and your confidence built even more than know what my confidence built but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the decision that I ve made, I can stay comfortable and just be the cruiserweight champion and make the 200,000, or I can be heavyweight champion of the world and make some millions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want to fight Mike today, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mike Tyson, why do you want to go back and have that fight?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the thing is, it s competition." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing in competition, my whole thing is that, now, I only want to do it if he want to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If he wants to do it, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the fact of the matter is that, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It would be fun because both people know how good we are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole world knows how good both of you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then people want to know, OK, then, even at this old age, who would get the best?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the point of the matter, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that Tyson and I can get in the ring and not think about who the best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know it s not one time in my life I m going to go in the ring with nobody that I ain t think I m going to get the best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got to sit with you now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I really want to fight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Mike has talked about, he s talked publicly about, of all the fighters he ever went, that you re one of the toughest he s ever experienced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lennox Lewis said that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, you look at the top four fighters, heavyweights, they ve all talked about how tough you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where does that toughness come from?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All this stuff started at a young age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When your parent wants you to be better than them, they start telling you things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about, if they never tell you these things, then how can you be better than them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna be better if your parents start telling you, look, you don t need to make these mistakes that I make." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna be a lot farther." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what my mama did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the first thing was that tongue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, all right, now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, my tongue, I can control my tongue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She says, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a fool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she says, let me tell you what a fool do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A fool don t get promoted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I did, my whole life got promoted, because I was able to shut that mouth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your mama, you talk about the sacrifice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your mama, you wanted to go to that prom so bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell people a story about that and what you did instead and how it shaped your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I had to go to Canada, Quebec, Canada, and had to fight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was mad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I win the tournament." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was still." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of going to prom though, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of going to prom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember everybody said, you missed your prom, man, you missed it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, here it is in 1987, and I m a champion of the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody said, man, you ain t coming out the room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said no, because my mama told me, if you learn to, you the talent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you mingling with these people, you re gonna lose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you stand here, and when they have to go, and then when it come Monday, they gotta go to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got two weeks home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re looking for your advantages that what you have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think your mama was great at getting you to see what you had instead of what you didn t have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think most people, it s like I always tell people what s wrong is always available, so is what s right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your mama really guided that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What an amazing gift your mama has been in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would she be most proud of in you today?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I ll tell you, you know, my mama, you know, my mama, all the wars that my mama got," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once I became the champion of the world at Cruiserweight, from 1986 to 1996, she get all these awards, because everybody said, I said, I said, not my mom, I said, I m telling you, I wouldn t have been here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, I said, for all the things, I said, I said, one thing that I realized," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mama didn t play." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my mama said, zip it up, she mean now, not later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I took off, she said, you did?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get it right then and there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, now, I ve been slapped in this mouth and got soap put in this mouth because of things I said." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, one time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the taste of soap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had those experiences, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mama shaped me, too, brother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She really did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was an intense character." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you look at it, and it s like what you think you want your mama to be versus what God gives you, always something greater." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s always some lesson in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if she d been the mama I thought I wanted to be, I wouldn t be the man I m proud to be either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So mamas out there, we honor you and send love to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And dads out there, too, that decide to give your all for your kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what the life s really about, man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re such a beautiful example of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I grew up totally poor, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a few years ago, I went and interviewed 50 billionaires, self-made, nobody from the Lucky Sperm Club, all guys that earned it on their own from the very beginning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want to learn from them because I wanted to help people, because most people don t understand finance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people don t get trained in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I watched so many athletes, so many entertainers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Singers, writers, directors, actors lose everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you went through that experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s horrific." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, sure did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You gave up your 54,000 square foot mansion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You lost it all, half a billion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you learn from that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I see it happen to boxers today and athletes today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you learn from that experience?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what could you tell somebody who s younger today so they could avoid not having to go through the pain you ve had to go through?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how did you make it through it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because most people would just be devastated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you just kept going." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You didn t give up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the point of being thankful for where you came from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I came from nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if a person came from nothing, they know they got there because of what they did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the whole big thing, if I don t quit striving for it, but one of the big part is to forgive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You gotta forgive yourself because you don t wanna let them do this to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can sit here and blame, I can t believe these people did this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can t believe it, then you probably still have your money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you got to believe it because you ain t got no money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You lost everything because you believe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They did what they did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you got to forgive them, and you got to make some adjustments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I made a lot of adjustments, and it s a part of life, because this is what... So you saw it as your mistakes to allow them to do it to you, as opposed to, I m a victim, they did this to me, so my life is over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just picked it up and said, I learned from this shit, and I m going to move on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how did you forgive?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a part of love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think you love somebody and you can t forgive nobody, you really don t love them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re just telling yourself a story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to forgive to be able to be able to make adjustment, to be able to receive when somebody else calls and saves you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get yourself to a point where you don t trust nobody, then" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime somebody trying to help you, you got their eye on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of a sudden, you make the situation hard on the person while trying to help, and if a guy, hey, somebody don t scare them to death, so he don t take no chances, so I can t work with him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People today are so afraid to take chances." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, if you ve been in business for any period of time, 10, 20, 30 years, you ve got people to steal from you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s just part of the process of you learning not to leave the candy store open and blame them, right, for a child coming and taking it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really respect you for doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But how did you build back from that time, though?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, to go from half a billion to literally nothing, part of it was just your history." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I grew up dead poor, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, OK, I ve been here before, so I can build again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was the mindset?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The mindset is that, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God is not finished." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When people go through something hard because something great is coming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a part of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If, you know, I think about if I was a kid and when my mama kept just telling me and I just, you know, everybody that I knew that was young, that was my age and all that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody were doing everything for them and they were grinning, they were laughing, they were smiling, they were going to the prom and all this and stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, you know, I started feeling sorry for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I still got that same picture that I showed to my son." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, see this picture?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, daddy, you don t look like you happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, well, I m happy now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but I m trying to tell you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a decision, it s some things that I m gonna tell you you can t do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you probably gonna be looking just like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but at the end, I said, look how happy I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You wasn t happy there?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but that s just a moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but what kind of man you want to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, now, your kids want to go this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, look, I said, why do y all think that y all got this great education?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t cost me nothing for education." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It cost me $15,000 a year for y all to go to this school, this early education and all this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but I m happy to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, because?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You won t have to cry like me, wonder why, because my mama had to come and get my first whooping in school because this guy said, told me, you not smart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when he told me that, and I punched him right in the doggone eye." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my mama came and gave me a whooping in the school and had to apologize to the teachers and the student." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mama said, you don t hit nobody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a profession." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not something you just go use randomly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, but you know, I said, Mom, buddy, you were talking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re talking, you want somebody to come knock the daylights out of you?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why didn t you hit the big guy then?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You got a temple, but you won t hit the big guy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to hit the little guy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally, you got a body of a 25 year old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Certainly, you re 60, almost 60." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you could be 40." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You better shape the most 40-year-olds." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us a little bit about your training, like this discipline of persisting and this pushing yourself that you ve always done your whole life, pushing beyond what anybody could imagine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much of a role those two things played in your life and your success?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, the big thing was, you know, at a young age, my mom would tell me, she d say, if you don t break nothing, you don t have to fix nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So don t go tearing stuff up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t get no bad habits, so you don t have to cease nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the whole big thing, fortunately, I don t think it was great being poor, but a lot of time when you poor, people don t give you chances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the whole big thing is, so you have to hang out with somebody like you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my mama would not let me hang out with people who cursed and they did all these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and I ve become better because I was sitting there by myself all the time because the people who lived a better life, they wanna hang out with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the people that had a rough life, I thought I was better than them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you look at your career, what stands out for you as the most fulfilling aspect of being a fighter all these years?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, making the Olympic team." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So representing America." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, because we was amateurs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so everybody wanted to be, who wanted to be one of 12 members who gonna make the Olympic team." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think I was the last guy that made the Olympic team." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, it was kind of scary because I was actually fighting the amateur world champion, this guy named Ricky Womack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He had beat the Cuban, he had beat the Russian." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So two people who wasn t coming to the Olympics in 84 were the Russian and the Cuban." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this guy named Ricky Womack had beat them already." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was a reigning amateur world champion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to get to L.A., I had to beat him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Twice, and I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That must have felt incredible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it did, you know, because I remember Howard Cosell was telling me, he said, Evander Holyfield, what kind of chance do you think you have with Ricky, wonderful Womack?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, well, did he make the Pan American team?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He tells people and they look through the paper and they say, well, he lost against Evander Holyfield." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then so, he grabbed the paper, he looked at the paper and he said, well," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One thing Ricky that Womack hadn t done, he never lost a fight back to back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said that to me, I said, I haven t either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a positive thing that you have to realize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how important is that psychological part of this game?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How important is your psyche and that sense of certainty going into a fight and also keeping that certainty when somebody maybe stuns you or they land something?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like 90% of the whole fight, how you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing of not quitting, the whole thing of having the certainty you can beat him still." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you know, I m being in great shape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A person can be in great shape, but he can get hit one time, then all of a sudden, it s a mind change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He can almost give it up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tyson s famous for that quote where he says, everybody s got a plan until they get hit in the face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing changes in that moment, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a very spiritual man." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a beautiful soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the reasons I want to meet you is everybody I ve ever talked to about you said, yeah, he s an unbelievable fighter, but he s an incredible man." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know the fighting for you, there s almost a spiritual side from fighting for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me what that means to you and going into a fight and what it s about and both in the preparation side of it, as well as the fight itself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it is the same fight that the word God say, I let my son die for you, where you can believe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if you keep believing, eventually you re gonna start winning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, because as a kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you keep believing if you aren t winning in the beginning?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because not everybody is in the beginning, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, the only thing I can tell people, as a kid, I was the youngest one, and my brother didn t let me win anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would tell my mama, I said, mama, they don t never let me win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mama, they don t suppose you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just, you know, so I was the only kid that was the youngest of the family that went winning nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And two, I went to the boys club." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I got to the boys club, I was six years old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was better than the kids that were eight, because my mama," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then make no adjustment for me and all that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And let me know that if you want something, you really have to work hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you just give everything to kids, kids never gonna say, okay, don t give me no more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re gonna keep on letting me win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then all of a sudden you re gonna be- And then they re weak." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That would tend to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think about this society that we ve become where parents today give kids trophies for participating?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They haven t done anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not disciplined themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not funded." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like everybody deserves a trophy today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you feel about that philosophy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re a father of 11, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it six girls, five boys?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your philosophy with your kids?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what do you think of this philosophy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody gets a trophy no matter what for participating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think that even though they may get an award," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but it s the parent s job to let them know, okay then, well what did you do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, we re kids, you know, people ain t gonna reject." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, Seth Anderson, I didn t even know this as a kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would go to the fight, I would go to the fight and I would hope my guy didn t show up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t want my guy to show up where I wouldn t have to, because I knew if I go to the fight, I m going to eat, and I m going to do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So all these things come with the fight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re having fun, but the rough part, just fight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was hoping my guy didn t show up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he showed up every time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bet afterwards they wish they hadn t shown up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The thing is that you won, but you still had to go through that, which gave you even more confidence that you could do it again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Every fight kind of felt like the first fight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You say you grow, but I still feel the same because the intensity get greater and greater." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How do you keep increasing your intensity over the decades?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, because repetition makes you better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even if you think you ain t getting better, if you re practicing, you re getting better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, repetition is the key to mastery of anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you keep doing it, you start at a different level, start at a different level, and you just keep growing from there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that the essence of it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, because you don t forget nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You keep practicing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s just like, if you stop asking, then you may not want it no more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you stop asking, if you keep asking, that lets you know you still want it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and that hunger, where does that hunger coming from you that you still have at 58 years old, the hunger that gets you to, you re doing two a days at 58 years old and you don t even have a fight you need to prepare for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where does that hunger come from?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So every person I ve ever met who is extraordinary in business and finance and entertainment, the one thing they have is this hunger that is insatiable and you clearly have it, not by what you say, but by the way you live." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where does that hunger come from for you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I think that everybody," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "or that anything that you love, it got a hunger in, so you ll know by the love that you have, this is the reason why, you know, somebody may try to be like you, and it s hard, and it s a joy for you to do it, it s easy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because you love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, because you love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that same thing, getting up early in the morning and stuff like this, I get up four o clock in the morning, I get up and I read this word and all this to prepare me for what the day may be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s so many people that want a better life, but they don t do anything about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, very oftentimes they even make a decision to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to me, the thing they re missing is the rituals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you ve got rituals that you have drove in and you just don t break them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like 4 a.m., most people s idea to get up at 4 a.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to bed at 4 or 5." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a different time zone than you do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the same kind of discipline that like, you know what you do, you give it every single time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How important are rituals to being the best in the world at something?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, they re very important because it starts by habits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, all habits not bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m talking about a good habit allows you to see when you re not even trying to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m about to end a bad habit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, you feeling when you don t even know you re feeling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is reason why you have parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your top two or three habits that throughout your life have caused you to keep growing and succeeding?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the love that I have for the Lord Jesus Christ." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And my mama told me, my mama said, all right now, boy, you better stop calling, you know, anything happen to me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When I was a kid, I was going, mama, mama, you know, I would cry and all this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought my mama can save me for anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mama said, let me tell you something, boy, you better start calling Jesus, boy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first time I know that Jesus worked, and my mama whooping me, and I called Jesus don t hurt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And my mama stopped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, which is the first time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a miracle all by itself from what you told me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was hand in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first time I lost a fight, and this kid beat me, and they ceased the calling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How old were you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was 11." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "11, wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then he beat me when I was 12." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You still remember his name?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The same guy, that same guy, after I beat Mike Tyson the first time, he stopped boxing at 13." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When I beat him, I finally beat him at 13." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It took you two years to beat him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, no, the only way I beat him," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I called Jesus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Please Jesus, help me beat him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Help me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I, you know, I called him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I only did everything to try to beat him two times and he don t beat me two times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I like so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I called Jesus and I fought him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I win this fight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So he didn t fight no more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In 1996, when I come home, I walk in the house and I see this white guy sitting there and I go, Ceaser calling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And everybody said," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You still remember him?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, how can you forget the first white guy that beat you twice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, hey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, man, you didn t grow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m talking about he s still about 5 5 , 5 6 , weighed about 147 pounds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he still had his hair the same way, just hanging in his eye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But at this point, I remember, that s how I was when he beat me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happens when two fighters both call on Jesus?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Jesus gave me the strength." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What happens then?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See, that s how it was when it was me and George Foreman." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And everybody mentioned, oh, you know, George is a Christian too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I said, who God gonna go for?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, well, have George been a heavyweight champ before?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They said, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, OK, then he had his turn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s my turn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You not only brought great boxing, what I love about you, man, is that you just, you got such a beautiful heart." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you send, you know, I know you re a strong Christian, and regardless of whether it s religious belief is, you live your faith." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Sandy was telling me that you send out every morning, like 4 a.m., you send out another piece from the Bible to like 300 or 400 people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that true?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I sure do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, well, this is what- That s your mission, man." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s- 4 a.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "comes back, you know, I feel that," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you have to be thankful for what he gave you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And now, I see a lot of people that, just like yourself, speak real well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I said, man, I ain t get that gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then I start thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you have to be happy with what you ve got." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is how you get a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you have to be thankful and happy for what you have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So part of your philosophy is to live in a beautiful state then, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To live in a happy state, a appreciative state, a grateful state." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you balance that out with killing somebody?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of people when they think of boxing, they don t understand the level of discipline." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t understand the art." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They understand that there s a set of combinations here, there s patterns here, and there s thinking here, and there s an art here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s been called the sweet science boxing, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or even martial arts, you know, because I work a lot of warriors, I call them, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Boxers, athletes, UFC guys." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the level of discipline is insane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mike, you know, I ve done an interview with him recently, and Mike s talked about how he was kind of, he was forced in the game, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was shaped by people that he feels didn t really look out for, and they turned him into a killer, and he doesn t want to be a killer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s like he s gone through this transition in his life of hating that part of himself that got honed, but you gotta be able to destroy somebody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you seem to be able to destroy him in the ring and still love on him afterwards, it seems like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you balance that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Discipline." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the thing is, is the fact is that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you ve taken a chance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So life is taking a chance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s almost like walking in faith." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You got to feed your family, so you go find a great job where you can feed your family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so consistently, somebody else wants your job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then everybody competing for jobs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so your job just as important as my job, because you got a family you got to feed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so this is what life is really about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They got the enemy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The enemy tried to look at people s skin color, their height, why he got the job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I didn t have a job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then, you know, God made people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when he made people, made everybody the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they just got different colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the devil s job is to divide to conquer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To make you hate this person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you hate this person, you get somebody on your side, maybe y all can take advantage of this person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the fact of the matter, if you do the right thing, the right thing gonna happen for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your advice now to the kids that you talk with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you ve lived such a full life, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you try to steer them to when you get a chance to influence them?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have, what, 11 children yourself, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many boys, how many girls?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have six boys, five girls." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, got your hands full." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ain t no good woman, I put a flag out there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, that s how you have to look at life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your philosophy as a father?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you try to instill in your children?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you ve learned?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What I have learned is love is the key." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m successful because I found something that I love." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now my mama wanted me to find something that I love, not something that you like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can like a lot of things, and that s the reason you may not become successful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you find something that you love, you re going to be successful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what love is all about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God is love." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m with you, brother." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree with a million percent on that one, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s one of the fights in your career?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve had so many." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s one that stands out?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because today, you know, I talk to people about the best story of humanity is the comeback story, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because anybody can succeed or get lucky, but being taken to your knees, like COVID has done to so many people, I said, you know, the comeback story, that s what excites every human being." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the Rocky story, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the guy comes back and they push through it all and they get better than they were before, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s been the comeback story for you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s been one of the tough ones for you that you re proud that you may be able to come back from?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there a particular fight that sticks out?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I have lost 11 times, but in the fact that the time that I lost, it was time where that I actually kind of went farther than I should, because, you know, I knew my shoulders hurt, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The guys that I was fighting, I thought I could beat them, even hurt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That pride kicking in, and you have done, I have done things like that, and you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, people said, then why you ain t tell me about it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, well, it s my fault." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I shouldn t have did that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why would, with me, just about the end of my career, I started fighting guys that were smaller than me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I thought I could beat them even though I was injured." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ain t get to sit, I sit there and I go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do you do after that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you do after you ve disappointed yourself and you, because everybody does this at times, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always tell people it s like success is always the other side of frustration, the other side of rejection, the other side of failure, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the ability to push through it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you come back from one of those, can you think of one that was really rough?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you get yourself back, you know, back to your top, back to your peak again?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, the thing is, you have to justify that, hey, this is what I ve done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is what I ve done wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you own what you messed up on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then you know what to fix." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of blaming the other guy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, that s it, because you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Somebody come and, that ain t your fault, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the other person s fault." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You got to be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "committed to know that it s to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what does boxing mean to you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to be a boxer in your mind?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, some people think boxing is just as brutal, you know, sport." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You obviously don t look at it that way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is boxing really?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to be a boxer?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I guess anybody, when you think, you can kind of think any way that you want, but it s a love to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is something that I found out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you love about it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the competition, and God gave me just as much strength as he gave everybody else, and it s who is able to make the adjustment they need to make." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, my... Fail as a boxer, in your mind, because you ve seen a lot of guys fail who were strong, you know, had a lot of will." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What makes a boxer the boxer that doesn t make it he quit I m trying to say he quit on himself Life is about don t quit on yourself And but if you hadn t been taught that then you get the saying you know what this ain t this ain t for me Yeah, because this guy people get embarrassed if they lose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, think about my mama told me she s all right now She you sit here" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you know that all these people come to see you, you know they come to see you to win." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you got some come to see you lose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They can t wait till that day that you gonna lose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, son, you never lose if you don t quit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Give your best." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m talking to the point of the matter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your best is you gave your best." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And say, you know, all right, you didn t win it, but the other guy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You beat, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s wonderful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your, what s kind of like your mission now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what, what, what excites you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you passionate about this stage of life?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you know, just inspiring young people, you know, cause you know, I have done what I have done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so ain t nobody chasing older people trying to be like older people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember when I was a kid and you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This left side for the young people and this side for the old people, and then look over there, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wasn t trying to be like them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m trying to be like these people like this, but it s the older people who have to have confidence and help them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the wisdom." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And come back and tell the young people how to help them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, I would never have been who I am if these older people didn t help me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, you know, I remember" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At the boy s club, the first time I went to boy s club, I was six years old." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And- Is that the first time you fought, six, seven?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My first fight was when I turned nine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Turned nine, oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when I was six years old, when I was six years old, we walked to the boy s club." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We walked about three or four miles to the boy s club." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so now when we get there, my friend didn t tell me it cost a quarter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If they would have told me it cost a quarter, I would never went." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, you know, we walked three miles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I went to this boy s club and found out when I get up there, they had cards and they scratched their number off and they left me up there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the lady named Miss Hawkins, who was white, and she said, are you a member?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I didn t know what member was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you have a card?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I go, no ma am." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She said, well, you re not a member." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, well, oh, well, okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, do you have a quarter?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Which shocked me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, a quarter?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I get nickels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t get quarters." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so after that, she said," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When you live, and I told by the stadium, so she know that three miles, she said, that s a long way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I said, I can walk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she turned around and she reached in her Brazil and got me a hot quarter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is awesome." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is how, this is what changed my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The kindness of just one woman and seeing this little boy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If I never would have went to that boys club, I never would have been the person who I am." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was at the boys club practically till I was 21 years old." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often during the day when you re not in school, how often would you be there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you know, when school get out at three o clock." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then I leave and go to the boys club." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When I get from the boys club at nine o clock, when I get home, it s time to get in the bed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you d spend five, six hours at the boys club." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the thing was, my mama used to tell me, she used to say, now," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, you got a house in the ghetto, but you don t live in the ghetto." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a beautiful thought." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s gorgeous, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let me know that if I didn t have this time with these people who are trying to correct people and trying to put people in a great position, I wouldn t be who I am." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who were one of your first mentors or coaches?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, who was the man who originally said you could be champion of the world?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what did you learn from him?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, Carter Margin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Carter Margin, he was older." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when he seen me hit that bad, and he- And you re bleeding and you kept hitting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he go, and he tell his son, he said, oh, this guy gonna be the champion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you know how- Of the world, when you re eight years old, he s looking at you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, this guy gonna be champion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And his son, he said, I didn t say nothing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then all of a sudden, and you know, so when he passed at 16," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And his son, so he d tell his son, you know, because they knew he was going to pass, and he told his son, you need to go over there and all that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And his son came over there, and his son seen me hit that bag when I was 16." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I went 139 when I was 16." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he seen me hit this bag, and then, oh, my goodness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Dad, it was all going right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was wondering, how in the world are you going to be crazy about this kid?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even like, we played, his son and them in football." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His dad would sit on our side." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, your band ain t going to run by two or three touchdowns." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve run two or three touchdowns too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, y all kids are smart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These kids here train hard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this man, he paid for everything that I ever did." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually thought boxing was for free because he paid for everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then all of a sudden, one day the people told me, said, you know, boxing ain t free." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, your coach paid for everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He told us to take care of you and all this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized, wow, yeah, I am thinking that boxing s the only thing that you can just go free enough." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I find that you have to pay for all the tournaments." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that man took care of me like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And see, but this is a reason why I do give." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I realize that he had to get it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t his kid, but he made sure that everything was right for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you look at your life today, what are you most grateful for?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m thankful, you know, number one thing is Jesus." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And second thing is Jesus, my mom." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, they re going on that third and I think about my coach, Carter Morgan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, yeah, that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I m going to see Mike." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does knowing that God is in charge do for you in terms of giving you peace or giving you strength?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how does it affect you knowing that God is in charge?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You still got to do your part, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the fact that God s in charge, what does that do for your psyche?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it let me know that he always, because he already telling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to forsake you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you got to know that he s not going to forsake you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That means that he s going to give you another chance." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, God, if you don t quit, he ll give you another chance." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Evan, you re a beautiful soul." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so grateful to get to spend a little time with you here and really feel who you are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because everybody knows who you are as a boxer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a legend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as a man, you re a legend as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know that your mother has to be one happy, grateful human being to see what her boy became and who he continues to become." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Such a giver, such a lover, so distant and so driven, and a man who s constantly contributing and pushing himself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think those are values that we all can value for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we did, our whole world would get better, because we get better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got more to give, don t we?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Very beautiful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, brother." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you for the little lesson here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the bonus episode of The Future of Food, Energy, and Space." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After Tony individually interviewed the four business leaders solving major global issues, he did a roundtable discussion to really dig into the opportunity that he and they all see in these massive markets like energy, agriculture, and space." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because these solutions aren t coming from governments or NGOs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re ideated and executed by businesses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s fascinating to us in this episode is how you ll hear these entrepreneurs not just talk about their solutions and their companies, but how what they re really doing is opening up these markets by proving the opportunity in them and encouraging other startups to join them in the race." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They welcome competition because in the end, it benefits everyone and improves the quality of life across generations and continents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So listen carefully because if you re an entrepreneur looking for a wide open space to put your talents and energy into, you just might find one today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome everybody to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m really excited for today because you re going to meet four extraordinary human beings that are world-changing technology experts, founders of companies, CEOs and founders that are putting together companies that aren t just ideas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re right now moving forward and they re beginning to do things that literally can change the lives of billions of people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me introduce our panel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first person here is my dear friend, Bill Gross." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He founded a company called Ideal Labs, which started in 1996." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the longest running technology incubator in history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next, Jason Green is the CEO and co-founder of a place called Upward Farms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now he s building these vertical aquaponic sustainable farms for leafy greens and fish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then thirdly, we have here Mikhail Kokerich." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Mikhail is, he built the first private space company, you know, in Russia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sold that company at a very young age, decided he wanted to come to America, and he wants to power humanity into the solar system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, my dear friend and my partner, and that s Dakin Sloss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dakin is the founder, and he s the general partner of Prime Movers Lab." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They invest in breakthrough scientific startups, and they re really obsessed with finding what they call Prime Movers, which is people that are inventors of technology that can transform billions of people s lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we ll start with you, Bill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got all these companies, hundreds of companies, but you ve never been, I m aware of anyway, in recent times, CEO, and you re the CEO of Heliogen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So tell us, what does it mean to you personally?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why are you involved in it to this level of depth?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you even the CEO?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what can the impact be?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the size of the impact it can have on the industrial heat market and therefore the world?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I really feel that low cost energy" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "can help all of humankind in every powerful way, as we said earlier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Education, freedom, equality, justice, pollution, it just solves so many problems." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I feel like if there s one thing I can work on for the rest of my life that uses my intelligence and my passion, my mechanical engineering background, my science, my organizational skills, I want to take everything I learned from all these businesses" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and apply it personally to this area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I ve stepped in as CEO." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I run the company on a daily basis, building the team, going after this, because I just think it s the biggest, most impactful thing I could do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the most intellectually challenging, and it s hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I feel like I m learning something every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My passion for learning is met by this company, because it s a very, very hard problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I hope we can make a big impact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I know we ll make a big impact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s just a matter of how long it will take." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Bill Gates is now one of your backers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the size of the impact?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s the size of the market for this company?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, yeah, so listen to how big this is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s almost silly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The global GDP is $86 trillion a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Of that $86 trillion, 10% is energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So $8.6 trillion a year is spent on energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Of that $8.6 trillion, 81% is coal, oil, and gas, so $7 trillion a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "$7 trillion a year is coal, oil, and gas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to replace all of coal, oil, and gas, so I m going after $7 trillion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to replace all of coal, oil, and gas with concentrated sunshine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think we can do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s going to take us a couple decades, but I want to go do that, and it s probably the biggest business possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not $7 trillion market cap, it s $7 trillion revenues possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the biggest business there could be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, we re not going to get all that to ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t even care about getting all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What I mostly want to do, if I can pull this off, I would be very happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to do what Elon did with electric cars." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to show that this is possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to show and get more people to come after this market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Elon is doing incredible with what he did with Tesla alone, but look what he s doing with getting every other car company to follow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to do the same thing in this area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to make a successful company." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to make a great return for investors, but I want to show other people, you should go after this market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s a very, very lucrative market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Awesome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s pop over to you, Jason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me about Upward Farms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can Upward Farms improve billions of lives?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what that vision is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What we talk about at Upward Farms is how we re accelerating the world s transition to regenerative agriculture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a bold claim for a vertical farm to make." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It perhaps ties back to my comments about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "how I think great companies have this infinitely scalable vision, but this very clear market opportunity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The very clear market opportunity for us is first products that we ve offered for retail is a washed and ready to eat packaged salad, which is in fact, the most attractive slice of the American produce aisle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Packaged salad is the number one driver of organic produce sales." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you see organic packaged or packaged out broadly in 87% of US households." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so it s a great opportunity to build a brand, very clear market opportunity and leafy greens in the US are $11 billion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But global agri-food is an $8 trillion market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So getting to the numbers that Bill s talking about here, the entire food supply chain is worth $8 trillion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how do we accelerate the world s transition to regenerative agriculture?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you look at where food comes from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Food is soil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And 40% of the world s agricultural soils have been lost." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The remaining agricultural soils are being lost at up to 40 times replacement" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the single biggest threat to the food supply is actually that we ve mined, you know, Bill was talking about fossil fuels, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Mining the earth for energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve mined the earth for all of our food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what our long-term vision is and the way that we change billions of lives is by actually starting to rebuild soil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so all the things that we re doing that are extraordinary about how we grow, that improve quality," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and sustainability and the cost, all that comes from this fundamental technology of how plants, animals, and microbes have co-evolved in nature, tapping into all of the genetics that are already in there that can drive incredible traits, whether that s a more delicious product or disease resistance or higher yields." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of the genetics that we need are already out there in nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re creating the environment, which is the background that I come from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re creating the environment that drives that biology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then we think about, how do we get this back to the broad acre?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How do we become a tool for farmers?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that kind of, I think I look good at indoor agriculture and vertical farming as with the question of where are we in the market cycle?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You look at markets broadly and markets initially begin to build enterprise value in content." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You look at where was the value in entertainment?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was studios." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where is the value in entertainment now in a mature ecosystem?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s in distribution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Netflix, although Netflix is a studio as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You start in content and markets as they mature, evolve to distribution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You see that across information technology, Rob." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, what does that mean for indoor farms?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "are indoor farms going to be in the content creation business forever?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are you going to be a grower of leafy greens today, tomatoes tomorrow, fish next week?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that the end all, be all that you re the one actually growing the product?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the opportunity to actually become the distribution platform?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where do you develop intellectual property on which you can get leverage?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that, I think, all the things that we re learning about, how do we build great soil indoors?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do we drive fertility indoors to drive productivity and all the things that we re growing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, what if we did that outdoors?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if we rebuilt" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the 40% of the world s agricultural soils that have been lost to Bill s focus on carbon capture, soil is in fact, the number one store of carbon globally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, that to us is how we change billions of lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s how we have this infinitely scalable vision is we are focused on a technology that s fundamentally built on natural laws that built on all of these genetics that have been developed through evolution over billions of years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We humbly try to learn from them and we try to put them to work indoors today to grow a better ecosystem" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to grow better food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But over the long term, we ask ourselves, can we actually take this back out to land to the broad acre and start rebuilding the world s fertility?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s brilliant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, so many people are worried and they study about the amount of topsoil that s lost and that s literally life on this planet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you re saying is we can rebuild it indoors and then take it outdoors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why do I want my produce to be grown indoors at least now instead of outdoors?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why would I want it done by upward farms?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So why you would want your product grown indoors is really about the quality of the product and the quality in so many ways, whether it s the freshness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony, you highlighted that we re growing locally and the ambition to be locally globally is really what indoor farms offer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And freshness is everything in produce." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You lose all of the flavor, all of the nutrition, all of the texture in the trip from farm to table." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to improve value." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A third of the retail dollar is lost in transportation and waste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Packaged salad is in fact, or leafy greens broadly, are today the most dangerous food in America." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They account for a quarter of all cases of foodborne illness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by all means, eat your vegetables." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, don t let me deter you from eating your vegetables, like tons of vegetables." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s the opportunity to improve safety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see this in these recurrent romaine, for example, or other leafy green recalls." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there is the opportunity to increase safety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "E. coli being one of those that people are most commonly familiar with?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "E. coli is probably the most common pathogen in leafy greens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see recalls across a variety of different pathogens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "E. coli is pretty notorious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reason that you want your product to be grown by us is we are offering a far superior product" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "at a more accessible price point than has ever been offered." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we think the value proposition should be as simple as that, better quality, better price." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do we need to change?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve touched on it, but could you give us a little deeper idea?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do we need to change our food growing processes?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s it going to mean to generations in the future?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And can you describe like how, when you say vertical farms, how tall are these buildings?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, people want to get a picture in their mind, I m sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so I guess when you ask why does this matter to future generations, the picture in my head is that scene from The Matrix when they re all eating that protein slop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see the food of the future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think earlier in where we were in the tech market cycle, you saw Soylent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, is that what you, is that what you want?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like the idea that all of your, all of the joy has been taken out of your food and that you, you know, you re going to drink this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I, and I don t, I m not going to tell anybody else how to eat." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like if you, if you want to eat a high protein, you know, like vitamin mix in your, in your shake or in your bar, like if you, if that s what you want to eat by all means." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I personally think that there s a tremendous amount of joy to be had in a good meal, in sharing a good meal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really celebrate food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, who do we want to be?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do we want our children to eat?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I love sharing these extraordinary meals with my young son and introducing him to things that I find delicious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s, I think, what it means." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there s the real sustainability question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Agriculture is one of the largest drivers of carbon emissions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are lots of things that need to improve there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you ve highlighted, Tony, in your work in this conversation, food insecurity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to really pull it all together, I do think that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "creating a more delicious food market that is more affordable, that can either survive a changing climate or be one that mitigates climate change, no matter which way you slice it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Indoor agriculture has a critical role in that resiliency plan, as well as in your mitigation strategy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me, what s upcoming for Upward Farms?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you guys have coming out?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you selling fish yet and so forth?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just to finish up, would you give people a sense of what does it look like, a vertical farm?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve seen pictures of skyscrapers and cities where they re gonna grow these up, but none of those pragmatically I ve seen happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it really look like in reality and what s upcoming for you guys to finish up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so imagine like conceptually if Willy Wonka and planet Earth kind of got together and made some magic, made some beautiful farm babies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like picture in your head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What this looks like is so we run an aquaponic farm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we are farming, we re farming fish, we re farming plants, we re farming microbes in a variety of ways that help our plants, our fish, that help us to create a more sustainable and high quality production process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have one area of the farm where we re farming fish, and this is sustainable, high quality, it is mercury-free, hormone-free, antibiotic-free, all the things that you want, absolute highest quality product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "happens on one side of the facility." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then once we process the waste, on the other side of the facility, we have the vertical farming system of the plants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That looks like if you can imagine an industrial racking system like you d see at a Home Depot or Costco, you ve got these many tiers with automation that moves all of the plants through the growing process, so automated" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "seeding, harvesting, washing, drying, packaging, labeling, and plants or, you know, the things that become plants kind of flowing through that whole process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so on terms of where... Is that where some of the technology, the efficiencies you ve gotten that have made you be able to do this cost effective where other people have not been able to?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so there are really two classes of IP that we ve developed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s IP combination of patents and trade secrets around the biology." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ve developed certain things that help us to grow better plants, that help us to create better microbiology around the roots to create disease resistance, drive higher yields, improve the nutrition of the product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a mixture of patents and trade secrets there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s a whole bunch of automation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that we ve developed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And our goal is to make that automation, because if you think about food, the volumes of product that you need to move at really low cost is extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of the approaches that you ve seen in indoor agriculture are actually adapting systems that you see more in automotive manufacturing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "where you re moving these very high value products, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re moving these individual products that are worth $30,000." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And instead, we think that the approaches need to be focused on, how can I move as big a batch as possible for as low cost as possible?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we ve developed a portfolio of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "of IP around the automation where we re actually able to move plants through this growing process with 98% fewer moving parts and 50% lower cost to build than other vertical farms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, yes, there s a lot of IP there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And all of that is in service of building a more scalable, more affordable production process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what do you have coming up now, just to finish up, and do you sell fish yet, or are you still leafy greens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I understand, is it correct, about 90% of all leafy greens in the US come from the West Coast, so distribution s kind of interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You d be able to create local distribution, but I m curious to know what you re delivering now and what s coming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, it s 95% of leafy greens are grown in California and Arizona." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really coming out of two counties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s Salinas, California and Yuma, Arizona." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "On the one hand, incredible production model." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And on the other hand, it means that it s very hard to get a local salad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Same thing with fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "90% of American seafood is imported." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in fact, imported fish is the most mistrusted food in America." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In terms of where we are today, so we are just about to open what we re calling our HQ farm or headquarters farm in Greenpoint, Brooklyn." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is about a 20x expansion in capacity over our previous facility." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and fully automated like I mentioned seeding plant movement harvesting washing drying packaging labeling kind of end to end." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This to us is kind of a demonstration of the, the, the power of vertical farming the power of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "fully automated aquaponic process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "On the one hand, it s this very elegant ecosystem tapping into millions of years of evolution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And on the other hand, it s very precise automated process that allows us to deliver consistent product at an affordable price." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s wonderful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Brooklyn is not the first place that most of us think of as a place for farms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re really proving what s possible, brother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Jason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, we re almost done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mikhail, I d love to go a little deeper with Momentus with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve heard you describe it as like last mile in the space delivery, space charter service, space shuttle service." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got this incredible efficiency with this water propellant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s three times cheaper, it s faster as I understand it, it s lower cost, it s sustainable, it s safe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us just a little bit more about where Momentus is today, what it s actually doing, and what s coming right now, because I know you re about to make some significant moves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you grasped the idea very precisely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we re really providing this in a very efficient manner last mile delivery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason why you need to have something like Momentus now is very simple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, look at 10 years ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was 70 satellites launched to space with basically 70 rockets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So every satellite had their own rockets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why it was so?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because satellites was larger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People were building like satellites with multi tons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And majority of the satellites was using" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, like big instruments to provide communication or TV signal or a lot of cameras." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And rockets actually was also smaller than now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now we have these big rockets, even Falcon 9 is three times larger than Soyuz, which have been the working horse of the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But satellites becoming smaller because all this progress with electronics and new applications drive the size of the satellites much smaller." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it used to be several tons, now the average size of 100 kilograms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually the size of the man." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you have like this big rockets that can deliver very cheap, but you have so many small satellites." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you finally need to put like a constellation of the satellites to put on a very specific orbit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to cover the earth, for example, and make image in several times a day, or if you want to collect data about like moisture content or about like the humidity or weather or any type of applications, you need multiple orbits and multiple satellites on each orbit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and this was the reason why people start to build a small rockets, which kind of one of the answer to the problem, but small rockets are like a small private jets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can fly fast, but it s expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a order of magnitude, two times order of magnitude, 100 times more expensive than big rockets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how people solve this problem on ground here?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the ground, we almost have any logistics that we can imagine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a multi-model." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, FedEx, it s planes and trucks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if you deliver containers, it s like the big ship and the truck that deliver container." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if you have the planes, we have this long-haul planes and the hopper flights for hub-and-spoke model." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now it s just time to apply the same approach to space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds like a simple, but it s actually hard because even it sounds like a last mile delivery, but in space, you measure distances, not in the miles, you measure distances in the kind of energy, because to change one orbit to another, you need basically to change the velocity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this change of velocity can be pretty dramatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just to give you an example, if you launch something to the orbit of International Space Station and want to change the orbital inclination to the polar orbit, you need to push the same amount of energy like to fly to the moon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To just make that one change in the orbit as much energy as they go to the moon?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you are flying with eight kilometers per second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s try to shift direction of something that flying with eight kilometers per second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much per second?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eight kilometers per second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what is that in miles?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just so people translate or... Ah, it s like five miles per second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Five miles per second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you need to have a lot of energy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and we basically, what we are doing actually like a bill where you use solar energy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, but we are using the solar energy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and use this energy to change the orbits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So basically, we have solar electrical propulsion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we collect this energy, and then we turn this energy into thermal energy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We heat like our propellant, which kind of, it s not a fuel anymore, it s a propellant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as a propellant, we use water." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we heat it up to very high temperature in a small microwave oven, like in the kitchen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Temperature like sun surface." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then eject through the nozzle to create a thrust." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And basically, we re also selling the solar energy and collecting the solar energy to do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is very important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, yes, we have a good prediction of weather, but it s still like this prediction is not very accurate after three, four days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I mean like we have all this like agri-technical models, but we cannot predict like a drought." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot predict actually the damage for agriculture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we still in the very early days of creating this like a layer of like a digital reality of the physical world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "almost a layer of another level of intelligence that we can use." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sure, and now, like I see with this autonomous cars, with like a lot of automation, like for in agriculture and forestry, it was all this like a problem, so it was changing of the climate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need precisely to know what s where, like what piece of the road is covered with ice?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where is the fog?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the moisture content in this piece?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when the fire igniting this part of the forest, we need to make this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not so many ways how you can collect all this information because you cannot fly drones everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some limitations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot put sensors anywhere, but we can be in space and we can put the sensors in space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that basically collect this information and finally create the digital copy of the earth that can solve many problems and save a lot of lives of the people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is the way we are moving." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is hundreds of the companies which are building different business models, different constellations to do different things, to collect different information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We, when you look on a space, you probably think that it s only like a SpaceX and Starlink and a good space actually show to everybody that it s possible to do, but" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, entrepreneurs is everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think unique thing about new space that you can find this company everywhere in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of the largest producer of microsatellites, Lithuania." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The company which building like an image and satellites high resolution, Poland." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Another company doing like satellite service apartment Bulgaria." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The largest in Northern and Southern America, the constellation of the satellites, it s actually in Argentina and they build satellites in Uruguay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we basically help and enable, our goal is to make the deployment of the space assets cheaper and more efficient and deploy the satellites." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because finally it help us to understand what s happening on earth and improve life of everybody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s almost, you re seeing that we can increase the quality of life on earth by having this new layer of intelligence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are people all over the earth and they ll see this as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a new space race." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just to get places, it s to get these satellites out there so we can have these services that can change the quality of life from weather to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "business to anything out there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All these entrepreneurs are going there and the blockage has been cost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now what was costing, you know, billions or hundreds of millions, you re now starting to get down to a cost level that people can do there because your cost is so low." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So tell me just one more question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is this water propulsion?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why is it so important?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, for everything we re doing, not only for today for efficiency and cost and safety," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but also for travel for humanity going forward, where are the sources of water that allow us to continue to go there, whereas we aren t able to put enough fuel in something right now, at least traditionally, to be able to go through the full solar system or beyond in an efficient financial way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I mean, I think this is the beauty of this approach is that we have short-term and long-term advantages." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The short-term" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because we use the water as a propellant, it allows us to build the vehicles in a very low cost manner because we don t have this cryogenic, thank you fuel, or we don t use like this usual electrical propulsion, we use the xenon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Extremely expensive substance under high pressure and everything is very expensive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But on the longer term, again, the hydrogen is the most common mineral in the universe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the most common oxide in the nature, it s the water, it s the oxide of hydrogen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the water is everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And several years ago, the water was discovered on the moon, because everybody was thinking moon, it s basically dying desert, like it s dry, nothing there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But now we know that in these craters, near the pole of the moon, it s actually billions and billions of tons of water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the Moon is a pretty light celestial body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, for example, to fly from Earth, in order to deliver one pound, you need to start with 100 pounds because it is gravity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are on the very bottom of the gravity well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when I was a child, I was thinking, what if our gravity would be 20% higher than on Earth?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We wouldn t ever have a space age because the chemical rockets wouldn t be able to deliver anything in space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we are lucky that we are on this very, very edge of the actually capabilities of the chemical rockets to deliver something to space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But from moon, it s much easier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To deliver one pound from moon, you need to start with two pounds, not with hundred." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What a ratio difference." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because moon is small celestial body and you can do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is what we see the moon, moon is our future, like a oil well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s our future, like the source of this propellant for the exploration of the solar system." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s close, it s here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yes, water is localized in several like craters, maybe dozens of craters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is actually the reason of the new space race, because people know that this place probably the most expensive real estate in solar system." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "now here in the moon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is the reason why now, instead of the race between Soviet Union and United States, now it s between United States and China." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Who will get this water first?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s also interesting because I invested years ago with one of those pioneer companies, Bill, that was going to mine asteroids and they were building their own spaceships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the cost of them was so high that they lost that race." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They finally had to sell their technology to other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But these asteroids have materials that on Earth are extremely rare and therefore really expensive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they re not rare on these asteroids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a race for that as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just to finish up, tell me, with your first commercial launches just around the corner, how were you able to, as a business, secure customers like NASA and Lockheed Martin?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think that s instructive for anyone with large vision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because you ve done it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I mean, it s definitely great to have customers like Lockheed Martin and NASA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I think we are lucky to have a lot of clients at the startups." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "these companies will be the next Googles, this company will be next Amazons in space, because everything great you can create only when you start from scratch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And NASA is a great organization, it s pushed humanity so much for doing excellent stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Lockheed Martin, it s like the company was a deep culture and very important for national defense and for everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when you re talking like where the new things can be emergence from these new companies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think like our main treasure, actually this like a startups with whom we are working because these companies will become large." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe not of them, maybe like a nine for each 10 will fail and they will try next attempt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we want to make them also the failure cheaper, faster, which is also important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "basis of it all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I wanted people to hear your story, not only because of the vision and size of it and scope and what you ve built and what you ve learned along the way, but also for investment purposes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, there are markets, you know, if you could have gone back and invested in Amazon in the 1990s, if you could have been in a position where you could anticipate the internet even before that," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the opportunity and the growth is just insane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could change an average person s life if they could understand that and have some bets in this area." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is just a marketplace that s just beginning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a pioneering place, but you re incredibly well positioned because you have these really large players that want to play with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But like you said, all these companies that are starting to grow, we re at the beginning of the beginning of the beginning of this process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you really placed yourself in the lead by what the technology developed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really acknowledge you and respect you, brother." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to finish this all off, let s come back to you, Dakin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So many beautiful lessons here from people really living it, not people just talking about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But tell me just to wrap up, part of why we re all here is because of our relationship and what the people you ve attracted in Prime Movers Lab, and I brought you a couple as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me what you really found this company for?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What were you looking for?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe I touch a little bit about angel investor work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not everybody s familiar with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what are the opportunities and what are the challenges with angel investment as a whole for people that have been hearing about these companies so they have an understanding of how you started out and what people can build with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, our mission boils down to investing in breakthrough science that can transform billions of lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think these are three of the 15 companies that we invested in in Fund One, and we ve got another 30 in Fund Two." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a good mix across many, many different areas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really, the mission is, how do we make people s lives better?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it starts at a micro level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we make these entrepreneurs successful?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we make them enjoy the process of building these companies, which translates to the kind of huge impacts we re hearing on a civilization-wide level?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From an angel investing perspective, you teach people a business mastery that it s important to have investments in uncorrelated assets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Early stage private companies are extremely high risk, but also extremely high reward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an important part of a sophisticated investor s portfolio." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not for somebody who s got a million dollars or something total of savings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is many millions or even tens of millions of dollars of savings at the point which you can really afford to cut big enough investments into early stage startups that it makes sense to be investing in them and building a diversified basket because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The mistake people make here is they ll just invest in one company because it s their friend s company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a good starting point, but you need to have a well-diversified portfolio, even within your startup investing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why using Ray Dalio s principle of 15 uncorrelated bets gives you an 80% reduction in risk with an increase in upside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got a number of different companies, because at the end of the day, every single idea, I mean, we hear thousands of ideas a year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single one of them is actually a good idea and is going to happen at some point." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The question is when, and we re not going to be right on every single bet that we make, but because we re making timing bets across a wide range of areas, energy, transportation, infrastructure, manufacturing, we ll be right on a couple, and those couple drive all of the returns for early stage investing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you look at my personal angel portfolio," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it s up 17x over the last seven years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s basically two companies out of a portfolio of more than a dozen that drive all of those returns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s how it always looks in venture capital." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is power law returns, where it doesn t matter what the" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "14 other of the 15 companies do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It matters, is the top one a 50x?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it 100x?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it 250x?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it 1000x?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re really fortunate because of the great work that Bill, and Mikhail, and Jason, and you and Mamie at Kovacs are doing that we ve got a number of them that are well up there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s fantastic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you just said, I shared that with you a while ago from listening to Ray Dalio." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was actually a conference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was for you got to be a billionaire to be there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a pretty interesting conference by JP Morgan." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When he said that, someone asked him a question because I ve been asking questions about non-correlated assets, meaning for those who are unfamiliar." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "everything ties to what the stock market does." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the stock market goes down, everything goes down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want things that are not correlated." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when he came up with that statistic, there was a murmur in the room." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was such an interesting piece that you can increase your return while reducing your risk by having those uncorrelated assets at that ratio." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty invaluable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to finish this off, what do you want people to know about what it means to be an entrepreneur?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want people to know about what it means to work on things that can change the world?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to finish the last word for you, Dick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we re heading towards a world in which many people are going to be entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people are going to be entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really, we re going to be playing the game of work for the fun of it and the joy of it and what we can create for other people, not because we need to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s a beautiful and exciting thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s where worlds both externally and internally open up when we have that kind of freedom to work on the things that are most meaningful to us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m glad that I get to work with entrepreneurs who are so inspiring and exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I hope that everyone takes a step on that journey in whatever form it takes for them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for all those that are still with us, I hope that what you got from this, my goal in doing this was to maybe create a moment of excitement in you, where you think about the future in a different way, where you don t just listen to the news, which every day is droning on and on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has an agenda." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Its agenda is not a harsh one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just an agenda that there s an economics to that news, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so good ideas rarely interrupt you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have to be pursued." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to look for them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our goal here is to put you in front of those tools that can give you a greater sense of what s happening in the world, both so you can be a first mover yourself and perhaps make use of those things that are valuable for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Secondly, we all need to become investors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can use an Apple phone or you can own part of Apple." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason so many people suffer financially is not because the opportunity isn t there and it s not because they don t have enough money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s because they re consumers, they re not owners." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if there s anything I hope this will get you to do is to think about the future in a new way to excite you, to get you through the temporary ups and downs of issues like COVID or racism." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all real issues, but there s nothing humanity has created that humanity can t solve, as we ve already said." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, if you want to participate in" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "helping those people that are working on the cutting edge of increasing the quality of life for all people, you can be an owner with them and you can prosper as they prosper in helping millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions, or perhaps billions of people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, hope this has been inspiring for you and if you re an entrepreneur, I hope you ve listened to some of the great lessons that these entrepreneurs have given us by taking a couple hours of their time to just share from the heart" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what they ve learned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I want to thank you, Bill Gross, the most successful entrepreneur in growing companies from nothing to over a billion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s already got seven." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s done that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re listening, it looks like he s got his eighth and ninth and maybe 10th one on the way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mikhail, for what you re doing to open up space" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jason, for what you re doing to help us and make Brooklyn a farming environment, but any place be a farming environment with both, as you said, not only cheaper costs and better nutrients, but delicious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Dakin for your incredible pioneering efforts to pull together such great entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a pleasure to spend time with all of you again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I respect you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for all of you at home, thank you for joining us again for the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Till we see you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Live strong, live with passion and God bless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Charter flights to Mars, indoor, aquaponic, sustainably farmed greens, and fish with the highest ecological and quality standards, channeling renewable forms of energy to replace those that cause harm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you haven t stepped forward in time to some futuristic utopia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all happening now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, the events of the past year, and even just this week, can test anyone s faith." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve been struggling to see the good when it feels like there s so much bad happening all around us, this episode, in which Tony interviews visionary leaders who are finding solutions to large-scale global problems like hunger, might serve to restore your faith and even fuel your optimism for a shared future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you ll hear, the best is yet to come." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome everybody to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m real excited for today because you re going to meet four extraordinary human beings that are world-changing technology experts, founders of companies, CEOs and founders that are putting together companies that aren t just ideas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re right now moving forward and they re beginning to do things that literally can change the lives of billions of people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s no hyperbole or exaggeration in that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of you know, I m so passionate about anything can increase the quality of people s lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m obsessed with finding answers and solutions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m also obsessed in finding entrepreneurs and companies that are about to change the world and being a part of that, trying to help in any way I can with them, investing in them, going on the ride with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So together we can have this experience of just increasing that quality of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re talking about breakthrough CEO founders here today, four of them in areas that really impact the quality of life on earth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, sounds like such hype, doesn t it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s really true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, in a world where we every day hear so much about the pandemic or about the economy or about whatever, you gotta understand that, you know, people get stuck of what s right in front of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When things are going terribly, people think things are gonna go terrible forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When things are going great, people think it s gonna be great forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And life is not like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Life is this process of circular history, but also the overall, like if you see a straight line, it s not in nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A straight line is drawn by a man or a woman, by a human." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In nature, things grow by going up and down a little bit, up and down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you re really successful, the overall arc is up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we as a society have these different waves that affect us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s economic waves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is virus waves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But one of the most powerful waves in humanity today is technology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Technology is right, can change everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What once was scarce becomes abundant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, my dear friend, Peter Diamandis, has a perfect little metaphor he uses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, you know, there aren t enough apples until you got a ladder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of a sudden, there s an abundance of apples you couldn t reach before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those simple technologies can literally change our lives, and they have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I remember looking back in 1996, 97, there was, at the time, extreme poverty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was 1.7 billion people in extreme poverty living on less than $2 a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, it s 227 million." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So literally in this short period of time, we ve taken almost a billion and a half people plus out of poverty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s still too many as far as I m concerned, but it s because of new tools and technologies that we can do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is a session, strap yourself in to both learn about how to grow companies, but more importantly, learn about tools and technologies, how they come into reality and what s coming now that could change the quality of your life forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me introduce our panel for starters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First person here is my dear friend, Bill Gross." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you, Bill?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great, thanks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great to be here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you don t know Bill, he s a legend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a guy that started his first solar company in high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He founded a company called Ideal Labs, which started in 1996." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the longest running technology incubator in history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "150 companies have been started out of this one incubator, and 45 of those companies have been IPO d." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, Bill is the only entrepreneur alive that has started seven companies from scratch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and exited them over a billion dollars in revenue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nobody quite like him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a privilege to have you here, Bill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what we re going to talk to Bill about is some of the new companies he has that are going to change the environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, they re people promising things in the future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is happening right now as we speak." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re worried about global warming and you re worried about cutting back all of the resources of humanity as opposed to finding a better way to transform it, Bill has got answers that are going to blow you away and you re going to enjoy immensely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next is a person close to my heart, because most of you know I care very deeply about hunger in this world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have a real problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of you know that I ve started an XPRIZE." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I put the first million up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a $15 million XPRIZE to feed the next billion people that are coming into humanity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re growing very rapidly in our population still, and we re destroying the planet the way we raise food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This person, Jason Green, is the CEO and co-founder of a place called Upward Farms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Brooklynite, how you doing there, brother?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m great, Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to have you here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, your last name, like Green, you had to be a farmer, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s built into your unconscious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, that one my dad gave me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what s really interesting, we ll come back to as we go into your story a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He started out as a neuroscience researcher at Albert Einstein Medical School and he helped patients, he built VR, you know, virtual reality tools to help people loss the ability to walk again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now he s building these vertical aquaponics sustainable farms for leafy greens and fish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, you know, most of you probably are aware that the cost of food worldwide, about half of it, roughly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Am I correct on this, Jason?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it 40%, 50%?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s just transportation, getting the food to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s showing us how we can grow that food where we live, in these big urban centers, in these cities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s great to have you here, Jason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then thirdly, we have here Mikhail Kokerich." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Mikhail is, here s a guy that started his first company at 19 years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s from Russia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He has this vision, you know, he built the first, you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, private space company, you know, in Russia, sold that company at a very young age, decided he wanted to come to America, and he wants to power humanity into the solar system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wants to make sure that when the inevitable happens and the sun takes us out," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that humanity can continue to succeed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first steps is to maximize what we re doing right now in this space race that s happening between some of the big boys out there, like Virgin and Blue Origin and so forth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s got some tools that are just incredible, like the ability to propel these spaceship and satellites with water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s three times cheaper, it s safer, it s more efficient." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as we re going to discover, there s water on the moon, there s water on Mars, there s water on asteroids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, this is a way to provide the fuel to literally propel us throughout the solar system and beyond." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Brilliant, man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to have you, Mikhail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for being here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, my dear friend and my partner, and that s Dakin Sloss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dakin is the founder and he s the general partner of Prime Movers Lab." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They invest in breakthrough scientific startups, and they re really obsessed with finding what they call prime movers, which is" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "people that are inventors of technology that can transform billions of people s lives and they invest in the seed stage in those early stages in reinventing energy and transportation and infrastructure and human augmentation and computing and they pick a small number of companies they focus on so they can over deliver and give maximum impact and so you all know I m partners with him so I m" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got in partnership with him because I was so blown away by the impact that he s had on the companies that he s there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of, you know, VC type firms, they give you some money and they set you up and push you a little bit, but how much care do they really give?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How much can they make a difference in the company?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Dakin, you and your wife, Gabby have really, you know, with this all started with you and I, cause you were a platinum partner in a lion and we started getting deep conversations about what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was completely blown away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I want to thank you for being here and I want to start with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you doing brother?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m doing great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s such an honor to be on with you and with these three amazing human beings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re in a business where it s really about the CEOs and the incredible leaders that are making a huge difference in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m honored every day to get to work with Mikhail and Bill and Jason, and hopefully have a small part to play in the much bigger challenges we face as a civilization." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, let s get right to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a common thread." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reason we brought all four of you together on here, and especially the three that are running these individual companies, is that you re all CEO founders that have a unique level of technological expertise that you bring to the table." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not just the CEO." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you have visions that are extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just, how do I build a business and sell a bunch of widgets?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s how do I change the world?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lots of people say that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you are all in stages in your company where it s no longer a vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re starting to maximize and make that happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I d like to start by asking each of you one at a time, can you tell me just a brief aspect of how the story of your company, how it came about, and what s unique about your company?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are you really trying to build today through this company?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we ll start with you, Bill, because just to remind everybody, Bill s a guy that s built 150 companies, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are companies across every area you could imagine, different industries." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Bill, you ve seen so much of these last 24 years since you started, you know, your IdeaLabs format." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me, you know, there are three companies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll talk about some in the depth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you want to talk about Heliogen, but if I may, there s three companies that you have evolved that all have to do with changing the environment, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the environment there is, you know, one of the challenges we have" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "most of you know, is that today, you know, solar and wind are actually cheaper than petroleum for the first time in history, but there isn t a storage capacity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, I m wondering if you might talk a little about the storage company, and then secondly, about Heliogen and what it s providing, and then thirdly, just a little bit about carbon capture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know maybe just an overview of how you came to be in this position and what it is you re trying to accomplish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, thank you, Tony." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really feel that what you said earlier, is maybe the most important thing on earth right now which is help the planet in every way possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You talked about lifting people out of poverty lifting a billion people out of poverty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that the number one thing that can lift people out of poverty is low-cost energy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Low-cost energy is what has made civilization possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The challenge has been we ve been getting our low-cost energy by burning things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we can get our low-cost energy in a renewable way, then we can really have unlimited amounts of it and not cause any harm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got very passionate about all the side benefits that would happen if I could focus my mechanical engineering talent on the energy problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m thinking about it from a standpoint of just making the world better, not even worrying about the benefits on climate change, or you don t even have to believe in climate change to believe in just giving people a better life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Energy can give that to people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like if you look across all the United Nations development goals to give people freedom and security and education, all the things, energy is behind every one of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like there s a lot of leverage there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that got me excited about making low cost solar energy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could be around the clock low cost materials that can be made from the sun so cheap better concrete better steel better aluminum that can be made with concentrated sunshine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then as you said energy storage because we can now make energy for the first time ever cheaper than fossil fuels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it only comes when the sun is shining and when the wind is blowing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we can hold on to that energy to what we need it, like after the sun goes down, or to have it on demand, making cheap energy storage turns out to be very, very hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Batteries are very, very challenging to make them cheap enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On a bulk scale, batteries are now cheap enough to be used in cars." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, first, they were cheap enough to be used in our devices." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "10 cars, that was next challenging, but to make batteries cheap enough to power the entire grid, that s really hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started looking at other ideas, other ways to store energy and we came up with this gravity method that is Energy Vault." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you might mention just, we ll go in depth later on, but Energy Vault, explain to them how simple it is and how it came up the concept, you and the team, the idea of the most effective way of getting energy in the past, at least the least destructive has been, as I understand it, when you re using hydropower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell them what a simple idea it is and let them know how big it s grown, like the size borders you re getting now for the simple solution that can allow us to have energy 24 seven from the sun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, most of the energy in the world today is used as it s made, meaning 99% of every electron made by every generator in the world gets used as it s made, and only 1% is stored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that 1% is currently stored by pumping water up a hill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, you look around the earth for a mountain where there s a reservoir on the top and a reservoir on the bottom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You fill the thing with water on the bottom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you have excess energy, like when the generators are producing power that people don t need, you pump water up the mountain to the top and you sit in that reservoir." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you want to get it back, you let the water flow back down, turn a turbine the other direction, make electricity, and you get 90% of it back or 80% of it back because of friction losses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the problem is that s relatively effective, but all those mountains are used up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere where there s a reservoir up there and a reservoir down there, someone s bought that and turned it into what s called pumped hydro, pumped hydro power, where you pump it up and then get it back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Basically, you re using a dam like they do in Vegas, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s basically what we re talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the only way to get a new location for pumped hydro is to build a dam in a valley, but then you destroy that area because now you ve stopped the river from flowing to get your mountain of water." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were trying to figure out a way, how could you simulate that but without destroying any land and without needing a mountain?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were trying to look for ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what about if we built our own mountain?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what about if we made a big mound of dirt?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or what about if we made a big column of cement and filled it with water and pumped the water up inside the column and had it come down to a pool?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what about if we made a build?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We tried all these ideas, but they were all too expensive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the reason why no one s done it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were too expensive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then the idea occurred to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of making blocks and stacking them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So effectively, we build a mountain every day by stacking up the blocks and unstacking them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We d have a crane lift them up automatically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since it s going to be running continuously, you can t have a crane operator there, so you have to write software to make it all work autonomously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had to use cameras to locate the blocks, clever stacking sequence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But effectively, by stacking a bunch of 35-ton blocks, they re big blocks, 35-ton blocks, they re 1 meter by 2 meters by 4 meters tall." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can build a 25-story building each day with extra energy and then unbuild it each night when you need the power back and it s actually cheaper than pumped hydro and you can put it anywhere because you don t need a mountain because effectively we re making a mountain every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For people to understand, imagine a crane where you re using solar power and that energy that you have available in the day, the crane lifts these giant blocks and then at night you" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It releases them and that churns the turbo just like you would if you actually had, you know, an entire dam and you have that electricity available to you and the efficiency is cheaper than any other source you ve got." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what kind of response have you gotten from the marketplace?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First, people said we were nuts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, it was a crazy idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of good ideas start out like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A breakthrough is a crazy idea up until it crosses over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is actually a great line for Peter Diamandis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you want to find is something in technology that can solve a big problem, but that does seem a little bit crazy until you prove the science of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We built the first prototype to show that it worked." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We built a full-scale version to show that that really worked and deliver the economics and efficiency." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and each unit stores 35 megawatt hours, which is like enough for a whole city." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Each one of those units cost about $8 million, and we got orders for 1,200 of them, so $10 billion of demand for that system in no time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really is amazing how much global demand there is for energy storage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do this in the desert." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do this anywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the beauty of this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The power of it is the elegance, how simple it is, how efficient it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it just, when we talk in more depth, I want to talk about how you guys come up with these types of answers so they don t just happen overnight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You keep iterating, iterating, iterating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s been your history, Bill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You said there s no straight line." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s exactly true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had a very zigzag path to get to this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We tried a lot of things that didn t work, but we learned from each one of them and course-corrected a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little bit like, I think, a good analogy to what you were describing is, I think to be a good entrepreneur, you have to be like a heat-seeking missile that is continuously adjusting as you see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s some target out there which is elusive, and you re going to learn new things to course-correct along the way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we tried to do with this idea, and it really worked." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Billy, you ve already got seven companies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a very humble man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re one of the most humble guys I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have such a love for you because you re so driven to serve." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not about you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s why you build such great teams." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody wants to work with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this looks like it ll be your eighth company." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s got $10 billion in orders already." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And tell us about, you know, we ll talk a little more depth when we go there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m tempted to just keep going deep with you because there s so many pieces here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But tell us a little bit about your solar company that takes" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the energy of the sun and produces enough heat to drive industrial energy and why that s so important and how that affects our future?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, right now, a lot of our use of energy is for electricity, but a way bigger use of our energy is for heat, for making all of our built world, like 20% of our global emissions, 20% of our global energy is just to make cement and steel and aluminum and all of the" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, energy is embedded in everything around us, because that was what was used to make it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that can t be replaced easily with electricity, because that requires high temperature, high furnace industrial processes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so traditionally that would be coal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What else would be the use of normal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It would be coal and gas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like even for cement, they burn old tires, they burn trash, they burn the worst dirtiest stuff to make cement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So basically cement comes out all pure and clean." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a very pretty building, but the stuff that went into making the cement was awful and releasing terrible emissions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we wanted to come up with a way to allow us to make those materials using the sun as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So using a system of thousands of mirrors, imagine a field with thousands of mirrors, almost arranged, almost like petals of flowers spread out over the land." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like farming, the mirrors are spread out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they re all computer controlled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they reflect the sunlight to a single spot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At that single spot, we can achieve very, very high temperatures." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, we ve achieved a third the temperature of the surface of the sun, 1,500 degrees centigrade, right from all those beams reflecting to one spot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now with that, you can make cement, but you can make it without burning anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make it completely green from the sun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we want to try and take the same technology at Heliogen and apply it to many industrial processes to make all these building materials in a much" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Bill Gates is, I know, an investor in that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the last one I want to ask you about, and again, we ll go deeper later, but with you, there s three." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Carbon capture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Mark Benioff, my dear friend and I, were the first two people to invest with you on that one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just a concept." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell people what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So many people are worried that we, you know, we ve been hearing these factors, like in 12 years, we re beyond the point of no return and a lot of fear out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of people trying to figure out what to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then you hear contrary information, but you ve got" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "practical solutions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the things I love about you is it s like you said, you don t have to be green or you don t have to worry about the environment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to make this so it s economically feasible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us a little bit about carbon capture and what you re moving on in that area." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, there s two ways to avoid the CO2 in the atmosphere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first is not to put it there in the first place, but the second is to maybe take it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and there are some processes that will be very very hard to avoid putting in the atmosphere, like air aviation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very very hard to make a solar powered airplane to go a long distance you can make a very small plane that can travel a short distance but to have intercontinental travel, you re going to need to burn fuel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what if we can take the CO2 from that fuel back out of the atmosphere after it was already placed in there from an airplane?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, how do you do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it takes energy to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it takes energy to do that, and you burn fossil fuels to make that energy, it defeats the purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it takes energy to do that, and you can use solar energy to do that, then you could actually do it in a clean way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can take that CO2 out for less than the value that it has being taken out, you can actually do it profitably." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my goal is to come up with a solar-powered way, at this company Carbon Captured," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to use heat from the sun to take the CO2 back out of the atmosphere and then turn that back into something useful such that people will pay more for that than it cost me to take out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thus, it could be a scalable business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very challenging, but the physics completely says it s possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an engineering challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a breaking any laws of physics challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it when there s an engineering challenge because that means that just smart brains can get together and solve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little bit like you said, the beautiful thing about technology today" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is you can use your brainpower and make something that has global impact because the whole world is now your customer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of the businesses I started 25 years ago, they were little businesses that you make a product, you have to sell it, you got to put it in a retail store, you got to find customers, there s no internet, you can t reach people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you have a global marketplace for what you re making." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you make something that impacts people s lives, it can touch the whole planet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why brainpower has such a, it s a little bit like the Archimedes, give me a lever, a long enough I can move the earth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you can use your brainpower to really move the earth in a positive direction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what s so exciting about entrepreneurship right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Last question, then we re going to come back to you, but I m going to get the next entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does the future of energy look like then in your mind and how far out is it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think this decade, we can make energy round the clock cheaper than fossil fuels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And up to now, solar energy, renewable energy was more expensive than fossil fuels, or it was only less expensive for a few hours of the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My goal is to make it cheaper than fossil fuels all day long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can do that, then why would you burn fossil fuels?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just cheaper." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the way to make people shift is not to beg them or cajole them or tell them it s better for them, just make it economical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you make it economical, everybody will want to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do think that money drives this, so I think that s the way you have to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It really does, because you see things like California, where they ve been trying to be a lead in the country by creating regulations about using green and renewable fuels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then you see all these blackouts that are occurring because they don t have the storage capacity that you re now providing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That alone changes the game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s very exciting, Bill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so privileged to have you as a friend and a partner, and seeing what you re doing, being on the cutting edge with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m really excited for people to hear a bit more from you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s pop now, and let s talk here with Jason Green." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jason?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me a little about your history, if you wouldn t, how this came about, because as I alluded to earlier, share with us a little bit, you were researching neuroscience, you re going to become an MD and PhD, and you created VR work to help people learn how to walk again, and now all of a sudden you re creating vertical farms and aquaponics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us a little bit how that came about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it s, and Tony, thank you for having me, it s a little bit more connected than it seems, you know, biology at its core," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "um, is whether you re looking at a plant or you re looking at people, there s kind of fundamental laws that govern performance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the work that we were doing, um, in a medical context was we re developing these environments where we were controlling everything that the patient could experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So for patients who had lost the ability to walk because of a non spinal cord injury." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let s say that they lost the feelings in the bottoms of their feet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now imagine walking around the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you couldn t feel your feet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How would you know when to pick it up or put it down?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Imagine if you had constant vertigo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you basically, you know, you re lost at sea all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, what would you do if you couldn t feel your relationship with gravity?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How would you know when you re standing up straight?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so what we would do is we d create these environments where we were controlling all of that through virtual reality for patients." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we were creating a visual environment that was showing them it could be chasing a bullseye or it could be their body as an avatar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by playing with the sensory environment that we were showing these patients, we could attune them so they could be more sensitive to, for example, if they lost their inner ear equilibrium system, they have constant vertigo, we could train them to rely more on vision." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so it was through that process of creating these environments" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "that ultimately brought me to indoor agriculture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The fundamental argument in indoor agriculture is the same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve got this biological thing, in this case, a plant instead of a human patient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And as an operator, you re controlling everything around the plant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re controlling the temperature, you re controlling the light, you re controlling the humidity, you re controlling the nutrition environment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you re creating the sensory environment for the plant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And having come from designing environments around improving the performance of the most complex" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "of the human brain, how you could do that for plants is pretty straightforward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And coming at it from the angle of a computational biologist, the key thing is you have to figure out how that system computes its environment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How does it take that information in and turn it into meaningful outputs?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so the labs that I worked in, in a neuroscience context, had spent years figuring out those models for human brain performance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And a lot of the companies in indoor agriculture are developing these models around plants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what we felt was missing was this concept of the microbiome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The microbiome is this invisible layer of bacteria that lives in and around all living things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it can account for up to 90% of the genetic activity of organisms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so what we felt was missing when you try to design an indoor farm that can produce extraordinary quality products at below the cost of field production, and that to Bill s comment about making it economical, that to us is the only role that indoor agriculture or vertical farming" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "has in the market is if it is a more cost-effective solution than what s coming out of the field." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Otherwise, you re never going to make that transition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s developing not just that model around the plant, but developing these whole ecosystems that could cultivate all the microbiology that you find in well-managed soil, because that s where all the processing is happening in biology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and you re doing this with like 90% less use of water." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I ve been looking because of wanting to feed people around the planet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And even when we re doing, putting together our $15 million XPRIZE to feed the next billion, one of the first things I looked at was vertical farming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause you know, you want to get these in cities all around the world where you ve got concentrations of so many human beings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And no matter what I saw, nothing was practical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing was pragmatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing was even within the reach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you guys are already starting to do this at a point, it sounds like where," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the cost effectiveness makes it worthy of doing, not to mention the quality of the product." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But how are you using so much less water and doing this and yet having a full-blown ecosystem?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you give us the little hint of understanding?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the full-blown ecosystem here is, you know, what s happening in an ecosystem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve got animals, plants, and microbes, all that invisible stuff, what I call the microbiome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, that s what s in an ecosystem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so in our ecosystem, we re cultivating fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And those fish are not only a source of protein, the world needs more sustainable protein, fish consume, or to grow fish for protein is a fraction of the carbon of producing whether it s, you know, chicken or beef, all those terrestrial animals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "use a huge amount of energy, produce a huge amount of carbon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Fish, it s a tiny fraction between a 30th and a 100th of the energy to produce a pound of protein." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re cultivating- The challenge, of course, is we ve overfished most of the oceans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re seeing that already happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With another billion people, we can t support it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also there s so much pollution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had mercury poisoning to the point I was rushed to the hospital because I was eating, I was very disciplined, just salad and fish, salad and fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it was swordfish and tuna, which, you know, they re like 50, you know, they grow to an older age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They acquire all the mercury from the smaller fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re developing mercury-free fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re putting yourself in an environment that s cleaner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no E. coli." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s pretty extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Clarify that if you would." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, so we re because we re able to control everything about the environment from the water" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "conditions to the feed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The issue with tuna out in the wild is tuna is at the top of the food chain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s eating all the things that have eaten all the things that have eaten all the things, and so you end up with mercury poisoning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what if you could grow that same fish, but control the feed that it s getting, ensure that it s the highest quality food so you don t have pollution, so you don t have heavy metals like mercury?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we re able to do with indoor agriculture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our ecosystem starts with fish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We then break down all the waste from the fish using, it s kind of a process like brewing beer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re using microbes to transform their waste into an organic fertilizer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re then growing plants in a vertical farm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re providing all of that fertilizer directly into the plant roots." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so to your comment about reducing water use by 90, 95%, the big issue there is we re controlling for the runoff and the evaporation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re applying the water that has the fertilizer that s irrigating the plants directly into the roots." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you don t have all that water loss into the ground or into the atmosphere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What does the future of food look like to you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s a lot more delicious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not just efficient, but delicious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that s one of your passions in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The future of food has to be more delicious and more affordable than it is today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and for us, you know, we really started with, if we are going to enter the indoor agriculture market has to be cost competitive, it has to be a better option than what s coming out of the fields." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quality, of course, safety, of course, it has to be something that can that the consumer that you and I want to eat for dinner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it s going to make a change to the marketplace overall, it s got to be more effective." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that what we re going to see in terms of food is it s going to be an improvement in the flavors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be an improvement in the nutrition." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be an improvement in texture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All those things that you really care about in your food and all of that will be more efficient and you won t have to think about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will be by the nature of it being a more delicious and a more affordable product that the markets will transform themselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and it can be done locally and it can also make a huge difference in the pollution of the planet or lack thereof in this case." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to go deeper with you but I want to make sure we bring Mikhail into the conversation here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Mikhail, tell us a little bit about how this came about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve been fascinated by space from a very early age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know you built several companies successfully over in Russia and then you had a dream to come here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell us a little bit about it and tell us about some of the breakthroughs, what this propulsion system is driven by water if you would." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, thank you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I grew up in a small Siberian village, but the space always was my dream and fascination." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I already was a small kid, I was thinking that finally I would like to work in this area." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember back in 1993, when I was 16 years old," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "actually in an interview to the local newspaper that I told that I want to build space propulsion and finally be engaged in space exploration." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But yes, I built like several companies in different industries, even I was studied as a plasma physicist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I built companies in manufacturing, retail," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but finally I hit my middle age crisis in 35 and I decided that I need to do something interesting and I started building the space companies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when we started Momentus, the idea behind this was pretty simple and obvious because, you know, the space is a new territory and the mastering of new territories is impossible to imagine without transport." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The invention of a proliferation of new means of moving like people and goods, like railways, aviation, containers, this has created the modern economy that we know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Space exploration is not an exception." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the physical nature of this territory create enormous challenges." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because here on Earth, we are on the bottom of this huge gravity well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To deliver cargo into orbit and defeat the gravity, you need to accelerate things to the huge velocity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "eight kilometers per second." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s 20 times faster than a bullet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, and as a result- Holy cow, that s a great metaphor to help people understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Please continue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And finally, less than 5% of the initial rocket starting mass reached the orbit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the answer actually lies how to make it cheap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It lies in reusability and in mass production." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the tyranny of this rocket science, they basically contribute to the large rocket sizes are necessary." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it drives a strategy for companies like SpaceX and Blue Origin, with developing huge, big, gigantic cruisable rockets like SpaceX, developing like Starship, New Glenn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we will see this launch course into space that will be just a few hundred dollars per kilogram and will open a lot of opportunities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then the problem is like, the rocket s only efficient to launch masses into low orbit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you need to distribute cargo to different orbits, or deliver to the top of the gravity well, like a geosynchronous orbit, or to the moon, or different elliptical orbits, you need to add additional, like a three, six kilometer per second, so another 20 speeds of bullets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you use conventional rockets for this, like the proportion of the mass" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "reduced from 5% to 1%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to deliver one ton of cargo, you need to start with 100 tons." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In many cases, if delivered mass is much less than capability of huge low-cost rockets, you need to use more expensive small and medium-sized rockets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s all required multi-modal transportation, connecting flights, which actually never was used in space, when you have huge ship rockets delivering cargo to low orbit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then last mile space vehicles, space tax distributing cargo between orbits to the higher orbits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is why we created Momentus in 2017, because we developed the space tax and hub and spoke multi-modal transportation to space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we are having our first full commercial mission actually early next year in January with the Falcon 9 rideshare." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the main challenge, how to build a space tax on the technology, very cheap and very low cost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the answer is how to build actually the nature of the propellant that they re using actually contribute to the cost a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you use like a chemical propulsion with this cryogenic liquid oxygen, it s expensive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you use this high pressure xenon, which is extremely expensive, it s also expensive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We come with the idea to use water as a propellant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not only make our vehicles extremely cheap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like to tell that our vehicles look like from Mad Max movie." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, it s simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s damn simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are no moving parts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, the water is most common mineral." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the solar system, you have water everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the moon craters, you have water in asteroids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it means we re building technology that not only have the short-term advantages, but long-term, because we have this gift given to us by the solar system process of evolution, the water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we build this long-term sustainable way how humanity can move to this new element, to the solar system, to the space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how does that affect the average person?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If I ask you, what s the future of space?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What is Momentus really trying to do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how will that benefit the average person so they get a perspective as well?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, why do you wanna create this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what s it gonna do for the average person here on Earth?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, the people actually do not sometimes underestimate the value of even existing space technologies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s imagine that tomorrow will happen some solar flare and all satellites will be disappeared." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, it can happen, by the way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like there are some probabilities that in case of the big solar flare, all satellites will be wiped out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What will be in this case?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not only you will lose probably like a TV connectivity, you will lose like a signal of the precise time, so all the cash machines stop working, you will lose like a GPS signal, so there are no navigation, there are no paper maps, and then people cannot use Uber Eats, DoorDash, it will be hunger all over, because people cannot now like get the food, I mean, we so much living with this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But actually, it s not enough even now like a space sensors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For example, it was a huge forest fires in California." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was a CEO of one of the largest forest company in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I knew that if you can detect the forest fire within one hour after it started, you can actually easily to fix it with just helicopter or with drones." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now, there are no satellite constellation that can detect it within one hour, it can take maybe once a day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or for even agriculture to collect data about soil moisture content, there are no satellite installations that collect this data." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not talking even about internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re living here in the Bay Area, and we don t have so little coverage in" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "some places, so there are no internet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hopefully, with like a Starlink and other projects, it actually create a new category of services." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Space economy is pretty small now, so just $400 billion, it s 0.1% of global GDP, but once we believe that we are on the verge of this new, big, gold rush in space, and it will be many applications and many new users that can drive this economy to become trillion dollar and change all our life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that you re, again, I want people to know this is not something that you re dreaming about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got contracts with NASA." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw your stock just dropped almost 30%." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was that the number I saw people are like starting to jump on and say, wow, he s got a technology that can make us have space travel be so much cheaper." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also all these resources, moving satellites around, there are so much space junk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People realize that s out around the earth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they re starting to fall into the atmosphere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s starting to become a real issue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but no one s even thought about space trash before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have the ability to propel and move things in a different position or capture them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s pretty darn exciting what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I asked you the future of space, what does that look like coming through your eyes as a pioneer working with these other pioneers?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the final future of space that it will become more self-sustainable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So people will use the space and space applications to do many things for manufacturing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for energy production, for data mining, for steroid mining, for getting all this rare and precious metals from the moon or from other steroids." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds like a fiction, but actually, we see that the number of satellites that launched, 10 years ago, it was launched 70 satellites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This year, up to now, it was launched more than 1,100 satellites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This year alone, that s wild." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, this year alone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "10 years ago, it was launched just 70 satellites a year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just now, it s 1,100 satellites alone this year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many satellites are around the earth right now, circulating around, do you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Around 10,000." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "10,000 satellites, wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, 10,000 satellites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, and launch cost dropped significantly, basically to order of magnitude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It used to be $100,000." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now it s like just a few thousand dollars." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It will be a few hundred dollars." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it will open so many new ways how to use the space." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Manufacturing, like you said, mining, all these things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, Elon Musk shares your vision, but you re filling a void for these gentlemen who are these great visionaries that are building these huge rockets." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re filling the void of how to connect and move these things into different locations." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Congratulations." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go to, let s go to Dakin, if I may." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dakin Sloss, brother, how are you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks for having me on, Tony." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great to have you, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us a little bit about, you know, you have a unique history." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You started out moving in one direction of life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You made this U-turn or V-turn, so to speak." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you re, you re seeming to collect some of the smartest people in the business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know your fund is, you know, performing at a level." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got a call from Paul Tudor Jones or an email from him the other day, and he was saying, copied the email, someone else telling him about" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that he has money in your fund, but saying we should do some more with this fund." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he called me and said, tell me more about this guy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this really real?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the letter it talked about you might have some of the highest returns since 2018 for VC funds, or at least in the top grouping." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us a little bit about your journey and tell us what you re really driven by and what are some of these companies that you ve been pulled to that are really changing the planet or have a chance to change the quality of life on earth?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for having me on, Tony." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To start, my journey is I was a physicist and mathematician studying at Stanford, and I thought I was going to go work on academic pursuits." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I really realized I wanted to have an impact on the world here today and now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The way to do that is to build companies like Mikhail and Bill and Jason are doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I previously built two tech companies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My experience was, I was actually sitting in the hot tub with Gabby and talking about how broken VC is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just wrote a blog post about this today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The notion of founder-friendly VC today is someone cuts you a check and leaves you alone, which tells you what the other VCs are doing, which is messing everything up by getting in your way and giving you advice about stuff that they shouldn t be giving you advice and thinking they have the answers, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I, as an entrepreneur, was kind of complaining about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was like, you re an entrepreneur, go build a product that fixes this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Prime Movers Lab is the product that fixes it, because we re actually actively engaged in supporting our founders, and at the same time," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "time, we re humble enough to know that if you ve heard the things that they re building right now, nobody knows the answer for how to build these things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We got to figure it out together and we can take expert lessons." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve taken a lot of lessons from you, Tony, and that they ve applied that help them accelerate, but we ve got to figure out how to apply it because these are such brand new contexts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At the end of the day, the thing that motivates me is each of these companies has the ability to radically improve the quality of human life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think we do get bombarded by so much negative news, but at the end of the day, this is the most exciting time to be alive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If we compare to what it was like to live 100 years ago, 500 years ago, 1,000 years ago, the quality of life today is already outstanding and extraordinary, and it s due to technology." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the next decade," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the level of improvement in the average human being s life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the next 30 years, kings would have killed to be poor today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just so incredible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always tell people that, I always say, listen, a Faro, what would a Faro given to be able to fly, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To go to someplace in a few hours that we complain about sometimes instead of a few months or years or never, you know, what would they, you know, a Faro couldn t afford to have someone make you a two hour movie to entertain you for $150 million." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we paid 10 bucks more today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like people have lost track of how great life is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, tell me what kinds of returns have you seen by finding these early stage companies" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what all these entrepreneurs have said, maybe I ll even put a link for those interested to know more about what you do, because I know I encourage you to make a video with all these founders telling about what you ve done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s mind boggling how you brought the key resources they ve needed, not just the capital, but the resources, the people, the elements to really grow their businesses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us a little bit about what kind of growth are you seeing in your fund and what is your vision going forward?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, we are fortunate that our first fund is on track to be one of the best performing funds of 2018, if not the best performing fund of 2018, it s too early to tell." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think at the end of the day, though, that doesn t have to do with us, that has to do with the quality of the CEOs, the quality of the visions that they re pursuing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll butcher this quote, it s one of yours, but you get the level of insight based on the level of impact that you re going out to have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Obviously, we re excited to make money, but most of the money we make goes to the same types of causes that you re contributing to and supporting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Much more important is that impact that we can have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Amazing human beings have shown up in our lives because of the impact that we re going to have, and because of the contribution that we re going to have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think people get this idea around impact." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wouldn t call it we re doing impact investing, because I think the term has been tainted," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "by a lot of people who went out to go fix a problem, but didn t think about the economics in the way that Bill, for example, is thinking about the economics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There was a whole wave of clean technology that didn t deliver on the promise, because people were on starry-eyed visions like, no pun intended, out in space." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The amazing thing about what we re doing is it s all backed up by science, it s all backed up by hard facts, it s all backed up by cost models," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "where we can see the unit economics of these companies, and we can understand this is not just going to work, it s going to be wildly profitable for their partners, their customers, and for everybody around them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that combination of big vision with really grounded in like, what can we deliver in the next 12 months?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What can our revenues be?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What can our unit economics be?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s important, and it s something that has been divorced in VC, where you get these big visions, but they re just not actually tied to anything real." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of, quote, impact investing, like you said, was people saying, I m going to invest in something because that s the promise to make a difference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as you said, there were no cost models." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the returns of many of those have been mediocre, to say the least." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what I love is this combination of being driven by impact, but with the hard science to show that you can scale something and then figuring out, as Bill does and all three have been doing, how do I make sure that you don t have to care about impact to use this technology?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to use this technology because it s cheaper, better, faster." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what gives you the competitive edge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, we, you know, all of you have built companies from scratch that have tremendous potential." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of people have visions, but rarely do people realize those visions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of you are realizing right now, you re already realizing on a huge scale." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of you have sold previous companies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d like each of you, and I ll start with you, Dakin, because you see the common pattern." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, maybe I ll end with you because you see the common patterns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me go back to Bill." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think are the most important keys for entrepreneurs out there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have people out there just starting businesses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have entrepreneurs that are, you know, running billion dollar companies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that started from scratch." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think is the difference?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "between the person that envisions it and finally executes it, which is such a small percentage, and those that, you know, keep dreaming about it, they re excited about it, they work at it, but they never get there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s the difference between envisioning and realization of that vision?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Start with you, Bill." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I like small questions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because if anybody asked me, I ll tell you, 150 companies, 45 IPOs, you d know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, you have to be passionate about what you re doing, for sure, because that s not enough, but it s a requirement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because no matter what you do, you re going to face hard times." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you re doing that zigzag path, making it through the zag is challenging." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s always going to be some valley of death in between that you have to cross." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you have to be passionate to make it through that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s a given." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But more than that, you have to build a complementary team." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to get people who have the other skills that you don t have." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know when I started out in business, I was looking for people like me, people I liked hanging out with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I needed to find more people that weren t like me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I needed to find people who knew how to run the trains on time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got big ideas, but you have to execute." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had to find people who knew how to keep the books, and keep the payroll, and get the rent, and all that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I needed to find other talent, and I needed to find people" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who were glue between people who didn t work well together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I needed to make people work well together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had to learn those talents myself, but I had to get those talents into the company first." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So surrounding yourself with complementary skills is very, very important." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would say the biggest thing, if you want to make a business though, really that has a world-changing impact," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you have to do something that other people aren t doing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re hearing that from every idea you re hearing from today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all doing things that are a little bit contrary to the way other people are doing things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to be contrary, but right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very easy to do something the same as everybody else, and you could be okay, but you have a lot of competition because everybody s doing the same thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can be contrary and wrong." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s very easy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you need to be contrary and right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think that a very important part of making a successful business, and I always love looking for this in everything I m working on, is what s my angle?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the new thing that I know that s different than what other people know, that they don t believe yet but will be true?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and I m going to go make it true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have something that I figured out before most people have figured it out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so looking for that essence in your business is very valuable, and I think important to make something impactful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not easy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a very high bar." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t come across those every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But taking your idea and looking at it over and over from different angles and figuring out, what s my twist?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "where everybody else is going this way, how can I go a little bit this way where they re not going yet?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s still correct." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not doing it just to go different." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To just be different from everybody else, that doesn t count." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s got to be different and better for a reason, and understanding that reason, and then doubling down on that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s very valuable to make a business work, and I try and look for that all the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is the one you started with, which is they surround themselves with people who think the same way because it s encouraging, but you need all those different hats on your team in order to get the job done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And also your point, I actually teach this to business owners." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s like, if you do what everybody else does in your industry and you do it significantly better than everybody else, you get a micro improvement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But if you do something that no one else is doing in the industry and it works, or it has an advantage that s coming," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You get a geometric advantage over everybody else, and you become the brand in that industry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And you ve done that over and over and over again through many industries." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When we come back and we re talking just with you, by the way, I want to prepare you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want you to share the story of Google and AdWorks, because people have no clue that you re the one that really got that ball started." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s an interesting story." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I m going to call on you for that later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Just plant the seed in your head, if I may, Bill." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Mikhail, let me ask you, let me pop over there, because you come from a different culture initially in Russia and so forth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tell us, what do you think is the difference between those people that dream about things versus those who actually realize it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What are the components that make the difference between those that dream and those that perform?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, this is an excellent question." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We all see in our career experience people with a bright spot, who is like the" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "different combination of the qualities but sometimes it s difficult for them to become entrepreneurs and entrepreneurship it s different than even leadership." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think like entrepreneurs usually have inside themselves like several persons like a little bit schizophrenics we re all a little bit schizophrenics because from one hand we should be in order to" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "in order to move forward, because there are value of moving forward and making mistakes rather than sometimes thinking, because you are learning from mistakes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you will have a lot of failures." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You will have a lot of setbacks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you need to be stubborn, insensitive, thick-skinned person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Otherwise, it s like a constant failures." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Just they will destroy you as a person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But from another hand, you need to be sensitive and tender to people, to new ideas," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to like everything that s happening around like markets, people, and to be one person with this like two, sometimes very discreet and contradictory, it s pretty rare." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, and this is probably the reason why it s not so many people actually" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "can be entrepreneurs for many, it s really hard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s psychologically hard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a very painful way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So the first is the capacity to push through those failures and learn from those failures, but also not to get stuck with one approach." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Cause I ve seen a lot of entrepreneurs, they get stuck with one thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They believe it s the right thing and they don t stay open to new ideas." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s my idea or the highway." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I know Bill, I see you nodding your head." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We both have seen so many companies where they had brilliant ideas." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if they just, it wasn t enough just to persist," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It was the capacity to test and retest and be willing to fail and call failure learning, which is what it is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s failure when you don t learn anything, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But if you learn something, you move forward." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But that combination, Mikhail, I know you ve done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the only reason you ve succeeded at the level you have because you ve constantly made those corrections to get where you want to go to find these tools that can literally change the way we travel through space." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Jason, how about for yourself?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve looked at things from the medical perspective." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re looking at now from an environmental perspective, a human perspective." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What do you think makes that difference?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because you ve seen so many businesses also with great ideas, great entrepreneurs, lots of persistence, a lot of passion, and then they just never deliver." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s the difference between the one that delivers no matter what, finds the way, and those that don t?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s a couple of things in what Bill and Mikhail have shared and I wanna use Dakin as an example again and continue to pick on him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that a compelling vision is where it all starts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you look at across the portfolio for Dakin, for example, this is very clear picture of what the world can, should, and will look like." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think for every entrepreneur, they hold this, every great entrepreneur holds this vision of what the world can, should, and will look like." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s this, I think, in great entrepreneurs, willingness to say, but why?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why should it be this way?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why isn t it this way?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can call it, there s a great book, Start With Why, there s first principles thinking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think great entrepreneurs try to understand" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "why it is, why it can be, why it should be, why it will be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s this matter of vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you, Tony, talk about, you know, not just that everybody needs a compelling future, but also, you know, you talk about rip it open." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think entrepreneurs who are really there to play." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are there to say, I m here to do this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not about me, it s about this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s about learning every day and it s about being wrong and it s about supporting others and not being the star of the show." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to be willing to a certain degree, like be willing to lose yourself to become something better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not to lose yourself to become less, to become something worse, but willingness to say like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m great, and I think I m so incomplete." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I m not the entrepreneur I need to be, but if I can do better today, if I can do better tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that comes from building a great team." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it comes from looking at failure as learning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sort of vulnerability, I think is core to being successful as an entrepreneur, and probably being happy as a person, your willingness to be vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It makes life meaningful and makes people connect with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When you pretend to have all the answers and no one does, you separate yourself from everybody and suffering is separation, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s really what happens." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I think your point is so critical." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Early in my life, I began to think about, you know, why was I able to be able to touch so many people s lives?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s like, I m no genius." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just really care." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so much drive and hunger." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one day I realized to myself, at least, I believe life supports whatever supports more of life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meaning if, you know, if a bumblebee that s not supposed to be able to fly is going after what it wants in those flowers, you know, it s got a higher purpose." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s pursuing its desire, but that pollen sticks to its legs." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now sure enough, you know, we pollinate, we have more flowers, kind of like whatever you want for your life, your desire, desire in Latin means of the father, you know, your desire has a higher purpose." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if your desire is just supporting you, you re going to get a certain level of insight because you re part of life and life supports life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if your desire is to help a family, now you get a different level of insight." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If your desire is to help a community, and not what you tell other people, you know what your desire is, what your driving force is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get a different, and if you desire to help humanity, which all of you have in common as I do, and it s not what you position." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve watched how you all live." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anybody can watch how people s lips move." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I watch how their feet move, where they put their money, their time, their energy, their focus." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of you have dedicated your lives to this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you re trying to help humanity, regardless of what anybody else thinks, you know it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are insights you get that you just won t get for any other reason because you are supporting more of life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really believe that s true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Jason, what you re doing right now with food is so critical." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you re hearing now is how people are using their talents, their gifts, to improve conditions for all of humanity." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re leveraging their passions to make the world a better place." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t have to transport people into outer space to be able to make an impact." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t even need a degree." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, there are tools where you can hack your psychology that almost every great entrepreneur knows." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They use these to make their dreams a reality and leave a legacy that benefits others." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the first time, Tony is going to be sharing these tools for free." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an event called the New World, New You Challenge, taking place on January 21st." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an amazing event that will not only provide a concrete roadmap where you can see your goals accomplished this year, but it ll awaken your soul for the months to come, no matter what life throws at you this year." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To join this free challenge, go to www.make2021myyear.com." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s make2021myyear.com." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hope you ll join us." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bacon, you re working with all these entrepreneurs, not just these three." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re working with COVAX." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s created the only vaccine that is not using live virus or manipulating mRNA." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t have to be shipped at minus 80 degrees." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re constantly finding these tools and these people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to make these bets." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you see?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What have you done?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what do you see the most successful entrepreneurs do that succeed in spite of all the challenges versus the ones that have great ideas that die?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll say first off, I actually don t think I was a particularly great entrepreneur." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was very focused on me when I was an entrepreneur." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that created a lot of limitations." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I could have had a much greater level of success if I was in the current orientation that I am, which is about service." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m really a servant to these three people and the CEOs of Kovacs and many other people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At its core, there s only one thing that all companies that have succeeded have in common." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They didn t give up." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s like the starting ingredient." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so we look for people who have run into walls." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what they hear when they hear no is, oh, you haven t figured it out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have to go figure it out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s the first step." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second step is what they ve pointed to, which is a really rare combination, having that, I am going to make this happen no matter what, but being flexible on what the this is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because you learn things from customers, you learn things from investors, you learn things from partners that mean you need to tweak the vision." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The core is the same." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are going to make energy dramatically cheaper." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are going to make food supplies radically more cost effective." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we are going to make space accessible to everyone over the long term." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That vision isn t going to change, but they ve all changed a lot about how they re doing it, whether it s an underlying piece of the technology, or it s which hires they re making, and they re constantly iterating and adjusting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What that comes down to is zero ego." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "These three people are some of the most successful people I ve ever had the opportunity to work with," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they come to me and talk about like, how am I getting this person to join my team?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they have no sense of how incredible they are, because they re not focused on themselves." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is what we screen for." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We screen for persistence." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then we screen for, we use your top six, your model of human needs." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we look for people who are motivated by growing and giving." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re motivated by growing and giving and you are relentless, you will find a way to succeed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It may not even be in this particular company, but it might be in the next iteration of the company." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think two of the three companies we ve backed with Bill are the third or fourth iteration of that particular company." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s the core of it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s a lot of little details, but persistence and being motivated by growing and giving." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I thought of something, just thinking about entrepreneurship and listening to what everybody said." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Definitely, some of the incredible things about entrepreneurship, this is not required for success, but this is just what s so incredible about entrepreneurship in general, is you get to empower others." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You get a chance to really empower others." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You get to unlock human potential." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You get to go to others in your company, give them an equity stake," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and get them to do things they wouldn t have done otherwise that you turn them into owners like you think about if you go to a yogurt store, and the person behind the counter is being paid minimum wage or if the person is the owner, the different level of service you get because the person owns." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So you can turn all these people in your company into owners with that think like that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Then a little bit what you re saying about your own learning, being an entrepreneur is one of the biggest opportunities for self-discovery and self-learning." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You are always reaching, maybe like rock climbing, a new obstacle, a new" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "a new barrier that you have to break and learn yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You have to learn how to hire different people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You have to learn how to do the next stage of evolution." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re always learning." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you like learning, entrepreneurship is incredible because it s just going to always be throwing new things at you a little bit." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Sometimes they re not the things you asked for, but they always cause you to learn." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That just makes it so exciting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s so rewarding just because you learn something every day." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The learning ever stops." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve anticipated my next question, which for all of you is, I m curious, and I know it s hard to do this, because you ve built multiple companies, built 150, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Mikkel, 304, Jason, all that you ve done." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what would you say is one of the single most important lessons you ve learned in pursuing, creating a world transforming company?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s different if you re just trying to compete in the marketplace with other people, or you re just trying to do something someone else has already done a little better." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s one of the most important lessons you ve learned" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "will continue to guide you that you ve learned thus far in building your companies." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe I ll start with you, Bill, because you ve done so many of them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, I think I think you touched on it already." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You start off with a particular passion and vision, and it s not going to turn out like you planned." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You need to keep that mission the same, otherwise, you re giving up and making a different business." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not going to be the way you initially envisioned it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You have to have the flexibility and adaptability to adjust to what the market is telling you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s that great" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Mike Tyson line about everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I actually feel that that applies to business, your customer punches you in the face." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You go out with this idea, and then all of a sudden, the customer comes in, and it s like, you need to rebound from that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "look at where that punch came from, figure out how to not get hit by that punch next time and adjust." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if you give up after the first punch, it s over." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But if you adapt and have a new stance and have a new, new, new, new path, you can go again, that zigzag path, you can go back to where you were trying to get, but it s not going to be the way you expected." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So give us an example." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you would have a punch that you got from customers, either by they re not buying or stop." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how you adapted and it became successful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, so I had a company called Knowledge Adventure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We were making educational software for kids." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I had a passion." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was in the 1990s, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Steven Spielberg was an investor and we had all this great vision to help kids fall in love with learning." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and it just wasn t working." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We were making these great, great products." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We poured our heart into it, but people just weren t buying them at enough rate to keep the company going." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So in a hail Mary, save the company move, all 65 employees went out into the retail stores on Christmas time and just stood in the aisles and demonstrated our products." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We just walked our way in the store." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We bribed our way in by giving a box of donuts to the guy at the front door to say, hey, we re here to demo, like we hadn t had permission." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We were just there to demo the products." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We opened up a laptop and started demonstrating." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These were CD-ROMs in those days?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is like a CompUSA and egghead software and fries and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What we saw in the aisle, well, one, we could boost the sales and we d show up, but we only could go to 65 stores." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There were 2,000 stores, we couldn t cover all of them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We boosted the sales and" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what we mostly saw was people picking up our product, a mother would pick up our product, look at both sides of the box and put it down and walk away." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like, gosh, she s got kids, she s the perfect product for her, why aren t they buying it?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we realized," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our messaging was bad." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We weren t really conveying on the packaging." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You couldn t try the software." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no internet yet." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was 1993." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No browser yet." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No Netscape even until 1995." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We weren t really communicating what was the benefit." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even though we had our heart in that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We changed the name of the product from Knowledge Venture to Jumpstart Kindergarten." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give your kids a boost on kindergarten." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now, instead of being for all kids, and the parent wasn t sure if it was right for theirs, now it was good for five-year-olds, like just five-year-olds." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have a four-year-old, you re going to buy this product." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we narrowed down the focus so much to focus on only one year." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the product took off like crazy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we got punched in the face by customers saying, I don t understand what you re trying to tell me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we just changed our messaging to bop them over the head and explain what we were and what we were trying to do." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we took off like crazy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We sold 20 million copies." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And didn t you sell like first grade, second grade?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So after having success with kindergarten, we made a whole series." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We made Jumpstart Elementary, where we had one grade K through six." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was fantastic, but it was basically customers telling us, you re not explaining to me what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can you fix that?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we racked our brains to figure out." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that you hear the story, you go, well, it s obvious." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why did you do that?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was not obvious to us until we actually watched customers at the moment of not buying." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s the type of that s the kind of reconnaissance that entrepreneurs got to do instead of staying back and in their head." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I mean, so often entrepreneurs make the product they want." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is the product the customer really wants and needs." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, if the customers had said, oh, make this a violent war game, then we would have said, no, that s not our mission." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t do that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we kept our mission of what we re trying to do, which is make kids fall in love with learning." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just had to explain how we were doing it differently." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And you sold that company for a nice profit too, didn t you?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, no, we sold the company for $90 million a few years later to Vivendi, so it worked out very, very well." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the company went from almost going out of business to successful sale in just a few years, but only by listening to the customer." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Beautiful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Mikhail, can you tell us what s one of the most important lessons you ve learned?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve built several companies, sold them, you worked in different countries doing this, in very different cultures doing this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s one of the most important lessons that you ve learned as an entrepreneur that guides you today?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Finally, the main reason why companies succeed and why a company failed, it s the people, it s your team." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ultimately, nothing behind the company, technology, market, the people, it s the main thing that you have." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s interesting by moving from one country to another, I moved from Russia when I was 35, it s kind of time when you already" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you already like a set up as a personality so it s like you are moving to another country and living the second life it s not like you move as a student or kid so it s it s very interesting to see how different even it s like everybody looks the same like you probably if you close your ears you see the same people they look the same everything s the same but it s very different and" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think like the main failures that I had in my entrepreneurial career was finally with building open and honest relationships with communications." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in many cases, like, especially because Russian culture is kind of very leaning to some kind of politics, you know, a little bit hypocrisy, we re more Oriental." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And based on the Russian standard, I was very Western." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when I now moved to the US, now I understand that I am more Russian." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think the main value that actually Bacon gave me, it was not the money." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Actually, he was my mirror." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he always like to tell me how I look like and how I need to change myself." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m still working on me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not easy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, for me, it s definitely working on my usual mode of, you know, it s easier." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you always should remind yourself, hey, I mean like, you need just like to talk to the people, what do you think?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t need to actually have like several different stories." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You need to just, and it s difficult to do actually." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really difficult to do, especially when you are in a company with many executive, everybody is, you know, have their own like ideas about everything." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t want sometimes to like," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "heard personally these people, and it s hard." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really hard, because especially you like these people, everybody." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Value of open communication that finally need to come from you as a leader of the company, it s extremely, extremely important." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The larger company is more important, because when a small company, you can play." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can play, you can keep in mind everything, but when it s a big company, the culture around the company." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you do not create this culture," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "then it s a recipe for failure." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I think that my main lesson is still I m learning this lesson." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m still trying to be the great entrepreneur and the leader of big company." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hope I can come through this, but it s real work." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I hear three things then from you here." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "One is I hear the right people in the right seats, right?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because we all know what that s like to have good people in the wrong seats." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s like, you know, you can have a situation where I ve seen it as an investor and as an owner of companies, you get, you know, a really great product and the wrong team and they ll mess it up." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "you get a terrible product and the right team, they ll change the product or service and they ll find a way to make it succeed." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it s that, but then the capacity to attract those people is the vision that was talked about both by Bill and Jason and Dakin, the ability to have that vision that can attract those quality people, something that s pragmatic and real." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But then as you said, that requires you to keep growing, because there s that rule of 125, I m sure you ve all heard, right?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s why the army is organized the way it is, military." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When you get beyond 125 people and it s," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "research shows, I don t know, the 125 is exact." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "People don t know each other as much." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s different culture, different communities." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it s a big company, as you said, creating culture, the philosophy that drives all decision making." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because in the beginning, I remember my companies would say, well, you know, what does Tony think?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And what I had to train people to do is what s right." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And once they knew the values and he was right and the culture shifts now, you know, I went from $50, $100 million companies to now we do over $6 billion across all these different industries and all these different employees, but there s a common culture in all those pieces." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But the most important factor I really want to honor you for Mikhail is, and it shows your humility because you ve built these huge companies, you re building a billion dollar company moving forward now, is that capacity to never think you have all the answers and to make sure you keep growing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My original teacher, Jim Rohn, was just brilliant in this way." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because I remember I asked him one time, I said, I have four fathers." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I said, we never had enough money for food." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "One of the reasons I feed 100 million people a year, 100 million meals here in the US, and I created this billion person challenge that we re 700 million meals now in six years." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I m now doing this challenge for the whole world to feed the next billion." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But the whole drive was, how come my fathers work so hard and we don t have money for food?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And Jim Rohn said something really interesting." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He said, Tony, your fathers have not worked hard enough on themselves." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They work too hard on their job." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They ve not continued to improve themselves." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I remember when I was doing Money Master Game, I asked Warren Buffett what the single most important investment he made in his life was." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I had these ideas in my head of, you know, I knew all the different big investments he d made." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he said, it s what you do." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He goes, the best investment I ever made was in myself when I went to Dale Carnegie." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He said, because when you invest in yourself and you keep growing, there s no limit to the impact that has." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And putting an investment in a company is nice." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He goes, but learning how to speak and communicate and expand," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then Jim Rohn said to me, he said, your father s I m sure all good men." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But he asked me what they did." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And one of my fathers, my natural father, worked in an underground parking lot." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Before automation, he used to take people s ticket, count it up, and make the money exchange all day long, day and night for 41 years." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he never had enough money." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We didn t have money for food at times." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he said, Tony, it s like we re all equal as souls, but we re not equal in the marketplace." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And what you have to do is make sure that you have a way to add more value than anybody else, which means you must work harder on yourself and growing anything else." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then you can lead people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And Mikhail, you re living by that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I really honor you." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Jason, you understand the question." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve had a lot of lessons on both the medical side, helping the most complex thing, human brains, and now working here in agriculture and feeding people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s the difference in your experience between those who dream and those who actually live the dream and actually make it happen in enterprise?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s one thing that came up for me, even before I talk about the most valuable things in building an enterprise." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s one thing that came up in what you just shared, Tony, and reflecting from Mikhail, this difference between values and virtues." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Values are what you believe, and virtues are what you manifest as your behavior." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ben Horowitz does a great job with this in his last book, What You Do Is Who You Are." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s a question I ask myself every day is like, who am I by the actions that I m taking?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s a little bit more about the working on yourself." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are my virtues as opposed to what are my values?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In terms of building an enterprise, as I heard" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Bill sharing with his experience on Jumpstart." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, my mind, so we re, you know, 15 years late, more than 15 years later, where the value of learning, I think, has only been underscored by all of the different platforms that exist on the internet to allow you to learn." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, you know, you think about that, you know, in that fast forward context, it s like, well, the vision there is, you know, so Jumpstart started as a way" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to learn and have this immediately executable opportunity in jumpstart kindergarten." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what we know is that everybody wants to learn, everybody wants to be better, that the vision for learning is infinitely scalable." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think that s what" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what differentiates good companies from great companies." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Good companies have a business plan, have a market opportunity, have a customer base, they execute on that, they re a good company, they re profitable." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Great companies have an infinitely scalable vision with very clearly executable market opportunities." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You see bad companies that have an infinite market opportunity and no executable vision." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You see that in a Theranos, for example." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "that s now the case study of a company that had a fantastic, compelling vision, but didn t have a clear next step, didn t know how to put one foot in front of the other." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s what makes great companies great, is you have this infinitely compelling vision, but at the same time, you have this very clear and sober view on what s the thing I need to do right now?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the opportunity I can be profitable in right now?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really, that s succinct and clear and couldn t be more accurate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dakin, you re the final one wrapping up this question." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you see as the difference?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see so many companies, so many entrepreneurs, so many visions that go unrealized or they begin only to end in short versus the ones that continually add value and continue to find a way to expand and grow and add value." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the difference?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to first just comment on what both Jason said about values and virtues and Mikhail said about culture." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think one of the proudest moments I ve ever actually had as a business owner is when people on my team, like my assistant, has come to me and said, hey, like you re doing something that s not consistent with our culture." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and having your team so on top of the culture and the values that you ve promoted, that they help you realize when you re messing up and when you re not living up to the highest standard." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think it s just a cool part of the entrepreneurial journey, if you can really nail it that way." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that it really is- I ve got enough humility to actually hear it and not be pissed when someone tells that to you." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They said it less directly than I just said it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And yeah, I think on a tactical level, one thing I ve seen a lot of entrepreneurs mess up is they don t know the difference between the things that need to be the breakthroughs for the company versus the things that they should follow." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, your phrase, success leaves clues and we don t need to reinvent the wheel here." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s a lot of stuff in a business that you don t need to reinvent the wheel." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You need to go out and figure out who is doing this really well." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The place people get caught up is they want to feel important, they want to feel unique, they want to feel significant." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They go try and spend a bunch of energy redoing things that other people have already figured out really well." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not energy that s going towards the one focused area that needs to be the breakthrough and needs to be the differentiator." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s really concentrating on where the breakthrough is and not reinventing the wheel on wasting time on others and get caught up in the emotion of having to make it so personal." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s making what s personal what matters most." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really cool." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to ask you one more question here, and then we re going to go deep." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the people listening, we re going to go to each of you, go deeper into your companies, which I think people are going to find fascinating." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s start one last on the universal level." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could probably end the podcast with this as well." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much negativity in the press and the media." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that there s nothing wrong." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Media are good people." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They work their tail off, and they have, I think, good intent." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the problem we have today is the economics of news." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The news is no longer about informing us." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Its purpose is to startle us, because we re not in the information age anymore." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The information age died a long time ago." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now there s too much information." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re drowning in information." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of starving for wisdom." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what gets our attention, what snaps us, is something that jolts us." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why it s your child made jelly of drinking water, film 11, you know, it s just, it was just we see the insanity and how it builds more insanity." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in a world where there s so much negativity poured on a daily basis, we miss all the extraordinary things that are happening in the world." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m just wondering for each of you," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the things that give you tremendous hope for the future when things start to get a bit stressful or overwhelming?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks like the end of the world to some people." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You guys don t go there." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t either." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what is it that gives you a hopeful and optimistic and a sense of certainty that the future will be even better than today?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us your point of view." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d love to start with you again, Bill." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think there s so many different ways to make the world a better place." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re a teacher, you can teach thousands of kids in your lifetime and make a big difference there." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re a preacher, you can change people s lives by telling them to see something they don t see." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re a lawyer, you can make laws to try and change things." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a technologist, so I love that way of doing things." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t do the other ones very well." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes me optimistic is" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think technology really can make the world a better place." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be pure, it can use your brainpower, it can make people wealthy at the same time." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can make it so that people pull it from you, you don t have to push it on them." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to tell people to do something they don t want to do." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you make a better Tesla car, people just want it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He didn t have to bribe people to buy that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He didn t have to advertise it even." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People just wanted it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just love the idea that the thing that gives me hope against all those things you said, and all the noise in the world is" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to quite say build a better mousetrap and people will be the path to your door." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not true." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do still have to stand out, and you have to make a whole bunch of other things work." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because the world is so flat now in terms of reach that people aren t hiding under, comparing it to this, Leonardo da Vinci." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s in Florence." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His radius of reach was 50 miles." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was designing all these incredible things, but people knew about him for 50 miles away." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe he would be known in Rome, but he would have to take a carriage there for a month to get to Rome from Florence." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t have that problem anymore." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have the whole globe as our reach." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can use your brainpower and actually positively impact people with things that they want." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By filling that need." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can bypass the press." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What the press can t get in your way, if you make something that everybody wants, it doesn t matter what they say." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or at least I believe that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe I m idealistic enough to want to believe that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I feel that way." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just feel very optimistic that you can look at society s problems or a little bit like we ve been saying as an entrepreneur." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is wrong with the world and how should it be, let s invent the world that we want to live in." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and let s try and make technology solutions to get there." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s very exciting to me." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel very optimistic about being alive at this time." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A little bit like Dakin said, it is one of the best times to be alive." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You really have what we have, the great standard of living that we have." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Joking about the pharaoh getting on the plane, like what pharaoh?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about a pharaoh getting on a plane to go to Beijing today, complaining about the Wi-Fi, right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Complaining about the Wi-Fi." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about what we have and what we can see with our minds and our brains and the power that we have today and the little things we complain about." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet, there are some big things that we need to fix." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a little bit like you re talking about hunger, like we have food and I hate the term that I use almost." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "food insecurity." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is a bad euphemism for people starving." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know what myself, if I don t eat at noon, my brain starts going in shutdown mode." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t even think straight." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about how bad it is that we have people on this planet who are going hungry." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got to solve that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What you re doing is incredible, and all the technology solutions we can come up with to aid and abet that are so powerful." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we can make a really big difference." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very optimistic." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me too, because, you know, I really believe that any problem humanity has created, humanity can solve." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even problems we haven t created, like, you know, the sun will eventually blow out this earth, right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to explode and destroy it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you got people like, you know, Elon and Mikhail and people of that nature that are looking out and" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "saying, thinking that long term, I think, you know, whatever is overwhelming is because you re only looking at the moment and you re lost vision." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s like, you know, everybody knows there s two things that drive us fear or faith." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they re both made up." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Imagine what is fear versus faith." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They re both imagination." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Imagination about the future, no one knows what it is." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But fear is imagination undirected." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so it s like weeds, it grows you and rips you to pieces." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But you know, faith is what every entrepreneur employs." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think a lot of people have forgotten that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s this four letter word that the whole world is having to come to grips with for some reason." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s an illusion because we ve been growing so fast and have so much technology and such great quality of life." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s that four letter word called risk." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And every entrepreneur knows that you re only rewarded to the, you know, your ability to produce rewards beyond the risk by taking risks, by putting yourself on the line." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you re going to look for absolute certainty and security, you need to go to prison, or you need to stay home forever." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But the world we re in now, any problem we have, we can solve." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, Peter Diamandis, my dear friend and partner, always says, you know," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "all, you know, find a giant problem and you ve got yourself a billion-dollar company because if you can solve it, you can make that happen." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think that s what we all as entrepreneurs, what drives us, and that s what drives the most successful entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Some just want to make money." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s nothing wrong with making money, don t get me wrong, but, you know, money is only a reflection of added value." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You don t make a billion dollars unless you ve helped billions of people, you know, or at least a billion people is something significant." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And all of you are driven by that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s go with you, Mikhail." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What gives you hope when things look a little crazy?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s your hope?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What gives you a sense that the future, even the short-term future, will be greater than the past has been?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably it s not a fair question to me because it s a very easy question to me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was born in a house with no indoor toilets, like sporadic electricity." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started with a kerosene lamp." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spent my first 16 years in the Soviet Union in a small town with 10,000 population." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I see how" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "how the life around has changed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even like, let s look on Russia, which kind of now run by, you know, like by Batman, you know, let s put it this way, you know." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But still, if you look on the people, if you look on the younger people, the technology that we have all the access like the internet and the knowledge and the books," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I have all the hopes." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually very difficult for dictatorships become sustainable in the world because people is educated now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People know what s happening in other countries." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My grandparents never been abroad." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My parents grandparents didn t know what s happening in another country." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now people, except maybe for a few very totalitarian country, which kind of created medieval regimes like Northern Korea, people everywhere know what s happening." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this actually gives us a lot of hope that society is moving to the right direction." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there are some bad things that happens like in China with Uyghurs when they use technology for concentration camps." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the general direction is very good." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we will be seeing the better society in the future that will be" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "open to humanity, open to unlocking the power of each individual man, be fair for people who is weak and not capable, but at the same time stimulating people to achieve new horizons." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s difficult to see when you just live like the short life, maybe like in the US, like in the five, 10 years, everything change up and down." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see this like a greater perspective, and I basically saw two systems, the Soviet system, and I can see this, it s very different." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we re moving as humanity to the right direction, and we ll find a way to build the better society, the open society." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "As you said, the technology has made people around the world know it s possible, but the breakthroughs in the Soviet, I went to the Soviet Union when I was 23 years old." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was invited and it was still the Soviet Union." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I got to experience what it was like there." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I traveled from Moscow to Siberia to where you were and got to meet the people, got to experience it, but it turned me into a capitalist." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I wasn t even interested." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I didn t know what capitalist was." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "All I knew was everybody was supposed to be equal." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It sounded so good to me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, everybody talks about socialism or communism and there s the description of it." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then there s the reality of it, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so you start to see that, you know, it wasn t equal and even slightly I watch people in Moscow standing around three blocks so they could get half a loaf of bread and a little bit of milk all day long." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And we were on a train with all these other Soviets that were having caviar and having this incredible quality of life." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s just, it just doesn t work that way." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But the fact that people could see a better life is what brought down that wall." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s what created that drive and so forth." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And obviously leaders like Mikhail Gorbachev were willing to consider things in a new way." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But you re right, the world is flattened and now, you know, a tribesman in Kenya can now, with that little cell phone, provide education from MIT, from Harvard, he can do business around the world, he can transfer finances, I mean, he can do anything he wants." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I remember when I worked with President Clinton," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I remember there was a day when he and I were talking and he said, we want to keep these conversations private." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I said, I agree." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I said, why don t we consider using email?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he goes, I ve heard about that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I said, yeah, there s this thing called AOL." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You should get an email account." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "In our first communications by email, I found out that the world knew I d worked with him because I was showing my wife at the time." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I said, yeah, you can search things on here." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Like I type my name in and boom, for that day, the Washington Post came up and talking about my working with the president." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s how much the world has changed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A person in Kenya with a little cell phone has more technology, more access to research, more economic, more everything than the President of the United States did a couple of decades ago." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s pretty wild." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That certainly should give us hope because the process is accelerating." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, of course, Bill and Mikhail, I think we d all agree that technology isn t one-sided." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Technology can destroy us." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, electricity can light up a city or you can kill somebody." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it is still the way it s used." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "good seems to have overcome evil for the most part throughout human history." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And my optimism is that trend probably won t change." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Jason, what gives you hope?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I tend to ask myself two questions." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ask myself, who s driving and where are we going?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s so much reason for fear, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was your kind of opening." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s like, but is there?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think about," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the future of energy and I think who s driving and Bill s driving and where are we going, you know?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think about myself as an entrepreneur, I think every entrepreneur has an element of, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "where am I driving to?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s my destination?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I try to think about the things that are within my control." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like the, you know, give me the strength to accept the things that cannot change." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s like, where am I driving?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s within my power?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, to get caught up on like, is climate change a real question?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And is it a real threat to humanity?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But just to focus on the question, we re not going anywhere, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All we re doing is we re bumper to bumper traffic, screaming about how terrible it is, but little do we know that we re headed to the promised land, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like that s sort of what I think about is where are we going and who s driving?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then I ask myself, am I driving and where am I going?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if I m not driving, then I know that I m looking at the question or I m looking at the situation wrong." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I look at what can I do right now to get to the destination that I wanna get to." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And you just hit on what I found the most successful people, regardless of entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I always tell people there s three questions that we re always asking, three decisions." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And one is, what are you going to focus on, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Whatever you focus on is what you re going to feel, true or not." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you think of the worst possible scenario, you re experiencing it now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s why that old phrase, you know, coward dies a thousand deaths, greatest person once, you know, so it s a real problem you handle it." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because what s wrong is always available." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But, you know, so is what s right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so hearing you, the second question that people see is when they re asking what am I going to focus on, do you focus on what you can control or what you can t control?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And you already said what you focus on, focus on what you can control." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Focus on what you can t control, you keep focusing on what you don t have instead of what you do have, you keep focusing on the past." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You get those three patterns, you know you re going to be pissed off, frustrated, depressed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But successful people focus on what they can control." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They focus on what they do have and how to use it to add more value." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they tend to focus on the present and the future as opposed to the past you can t change." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Beautiful, Jason." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Dakin, rounding off with you." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What gives you hope?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I know you have more than hope, optimism, excitement about the present and future." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When things look poorly, what do you focus on?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What gives you hope?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First, I ll say I have absolute certainty that the future is going to be better than it is today." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have tons of evidence of this." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What it comes down to for me is actually what Prime Movers Lab is about." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about science and service." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More abstractly, it s about matter and spirit." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we look at both of these realms, we are having tremendous progress." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Civilization from a material level is defined by infrastructure" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of energy, transportation, and communications." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you look at any time there s been a step change in any of these things, the Industrial Revolution, the printing press, the average human being s life has gone upwards in life expectancy, but more importantly, in quality of life during that life expectancy." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just without a doubt, you ask anyone," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "all of the right technologies are being put in place right now to make it so that the average human being can live on more food, more energy, more joy, more whatever it is that they want than at any other point in human history without having to do much." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to be in that place of radical abundance within the next 30 or 40 years, just from the resources that we re producing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the second question is, is there the willingness to solve all of those problems?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were just seeing Sadhguru talk, thanks to you." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he talked about how we have to have the willingness." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what that boils down to is the level of consciousness, the peace of spirit." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we look at what is happening in the world, I mean, you held an event with hundreds of thousands of people, maybe even a million people earlier this year." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The number of people that are interested in raising their consciousness, the number of people that are pursuing meditation, pursuing spirituality is unprecedented." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these things actually go hand in hand." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In a world, at least in the West, where people are freed up of maybe some of the day-to-day drudgery of a particular job, there is more time to invest in themselves." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s more time to go after what is life really about for me in the big picture." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just think the media is not showing us an accurate picture of what s really happening in a person s day-to-day life." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just to say simply, I watched the movie Love Actually with the family during Thanksgiving." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you look at everyone greeting each other in an airport." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You look at everyone welcoming each other home." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s just a level of love that most people actually have in their day-to-day life that s not what the stories are in the news." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you take that plus the power of technology, we are going to have unbelievable lives." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There ll be ups and downs, but we re going to have unbelievable lives beyond anything most of us can imagine." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, the truth is most of us already have unbelievable lives." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s one of the things that I noticed when there was the people that were protesting years ago and they re saying, you know, the 1% are dominating the planet and I have a terrible life." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was looking at the people that was on Wall Street, you know, they have an encampment." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually drove over there and I hung out and chat with a few people." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and they are like holding brand new computers, iPhones that cost more than the average person and you know two-thirds of the planet couldn t live on what they spent on one phone." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re drinking a coffee from Starbucks that costs more than most people live on per day and they re going those terrible one percenters and if you actually look at it if you live in the United States and you re in poverty and I hate anybody in poverty that s why you know I work to feed so many people just one approach to doing things" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you live in poverty in the United States, you re in the top 10% of earners in the world, right?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The people that are complaining about 1% are the 1%." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just don t realize it, what they compare it to." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think sometimes we don t make the progress because we buy the stories that have been told to us, have been sold to us to get us aggravated." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, anyone who s watching this right now or listening to this podcast, if you haven t watched The Social Dilemma, please do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s on Netflix, I believe, or you can pick up a book by, I think his name is Lanier, the guy that wrote" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "how to get rid of your social media accounts, or at least use them more intelligently." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re like lab rats for a group of people that are basically getting paid to keep us online through dopamine hits by reinforcing what we believe and then pissing us off so we stay online longer." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have an incredible life now and an incredible life in the future, but we ve got to wake up to it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, you can have this incredible life and you can live in misery." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, suffering, we have the greatest economic environment in history." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even with the challenges we re facing right now," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet most people at the peak before COVID, before any of these issues, during the peak economic times, we had the lowest levels of happiness measured in 40 years in this country." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because what happens is people start expecting, you know, it s like this, you know, the phone you have, you know, people banging on it, like, you know, it s not doing it fast enough, it s going to a satellite, give it a moment, you know, it s like, we ve turned our lives into all this expectation, which makes us miserable instead of appreciation, which is what makes our life rich." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s shift now." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been going for a while here and our listeners have been with us and I hope they ve gotten some great understanding of what you re doing generally, but also the principles that have made you all, you know, build companies that can literally shift the quality of life here in the world and made you plenty of money, billions of dollars in some cases for your companies." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s, let s go back now and let s hit each of you for a few minutes, if I may, with just three, four or five questions each, just go a little deeper." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to go back to you, Bill, if I may," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want, if you would, give us, you know, what it is that made you start Idea Lab?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what was the kind of conceit of that?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there weren t a bunch of, you know, people out there, you know, building incubators." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wanted to be first in the world and you re the longest running one." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was in your mindset about that?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What made that such an important component?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then if you wouldn t mind, share us just one story, because you and I have talked about this before personally, about Google AdWords, which, you know, you played a huge role in." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but the story is really interesting in terms of the ups and downs and just a few minutes of it I think will inspire entrepreneurs or anybody even considering being an entrepreneur and also giving them what you said earlier which is what you start out as thinking it is ain t one of what it s going to be." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So would you share a little bit of that for us?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I had started a company after college that was acquired by Lotus Development and then I started Knowledge Adventure which we talked about that was acquired by Vivendi but just before it was acquired it was 1995" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Netscape had its IPO." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the browser, there were 30 million browsers in the world, 30 million." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Think about how low a number that is when you think about it now, because there s 4 billion people with connected phones, and maybe more." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "4 billion is probably an old number." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "30 million people who you could communicate with directly through a browser." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought that was the most amazing thing because all my prior companies, I had to go struggle to get each new customer, either through a retail channel, or through advertising in the yellow pages, or putting up flyers." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My reach was very small." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sort of like Leonardo da Vinci we talked about earlier, very small radius." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of a sudden, I could talk to the whole world, 30 million people." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought, wow, there s so many things you can do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You need to make a Yellow Pages online." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about buying cars online?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about this?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought, boy, there s an opportunity to reinvent many businesses." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t even know which one I should start first." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t want to start one of them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to start all of them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about if I, instead of being a serial entrepreneur, which I was, maybe I could become a parallel entrepreneur and do them under one roof." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What I would do is prototype the ideas, recruit great CEOs to run each one of them, put in the seed capital, help them grow and build the businesses." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would try a bunch of them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some of them would fail, but I thought," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "this maybe would be a way to encourage more people to take risk, you know, your four letter word, because what happens if one of them fails?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, we ll just start a new company." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I want to try and have a safety net of risk so that you could take that chance on a new idea." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if it doesn t work out, it s not that bad." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It would not be a scarlet letter already, by the way, the United States." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we have way less of a scarlet letter on failure than, say, in Europe or in other places in the world, where if you fail, sometimes people don t want to back you a second time." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I actually view failure as a badge of honor, not as a badge of failure." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a badge of honor if you learn from it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you didn t learn from it, you ignore it, it s failure." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you actually learn from it," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that gave me the inspiration to start Idealab." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We would start 10 companies under one roof." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We d try it for one year." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We d see if it would work out." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, of those 10 companies, a few of them went on to be very successful." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That allowed me to keep funding it and keep it going." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And now, 24 years later, it s still running, because that fundamental concept of putting things together, learning from each of them, did work." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, uh, how many companies, how many companies, you know, we ve talked about successes, 150 companies." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s incredible." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But 60 failures, 60 failures." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got, that s all I want people to know." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, that s an unbelievable ratio." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like being one of the greatest batters in history, right?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause it doesn t work that way in Silicon Valley, but you ve managed to do it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why have you, of course you ve had the failures, but why do you think you ve been able to help so many of them succeed?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, we ve gotten better over time, because we ve learned some of these lessons." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, some of the lessons I already talked about about if your product doesn t have enough differentiation you re just competing with everybody else and there s not enough." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you don t find entrepreneurs with enough passion, you have to have that vision so you can stick with it through." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Timing matters a lot." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sometimes you just have the unfortunate luck of timing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A recession comes and hits and wipes out five companies." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like 2008, 2009, that was awful." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The companies, some of them were actually doing very well, but they just couldn t raise any more money." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Bad timing wipes out companies." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Probably the biggest one though is timing in the other direction is, is the world ready for your idea?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You start out and maybe it s even going to be a good idea in five years, but can you make it five years till it s a good idea?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That means maybe taking your money and spending it more thoughtfully to last five more years till the world s ready for you." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of times, entrepreneurs, teams, they re in a hurry." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I need to build my brand." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I need to hurry up." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I need to spend on marketing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why are you spending on marketing?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If the world can t even buy what you re making yet, that money is going to be wasted." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Convincing people to not build, hire a person VP of marketing, what do they want to do?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They want to do marketing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Really having a balance between" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when the world is ready for what you re making and what you re making is very critical." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of the genesis of Idealab was just to scratch my own itch of wanting to do so many things and what one other" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is it s very, very important for a company to focus." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus is a big, big deal." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We didn t talk about that earlier." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to be laser focused on what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to pick the thing you re doing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to be better at it than everybody else, it s a little bit like if you want to win the Olympics, you better be focused on working out and trying and learning and getting better and better and better." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s true of the business too." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to be focused." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wasn t focused." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was unfocused." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a lot of different ideas and I wanted to do all of them." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I learned that at Knowledge Adventure, it got better and better the more focused I was." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more things I shared that were off focus made Knowledge Adventure do better." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I realized the only way I m going to succeed as a human being" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with my unfocus is to build individually focused companies, which are laser focused on their target, but I could be more like a bumblebee and jump around each of them and pollinate each one a little bit." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, Dakin, that s what you do now." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dakin, you have an ability to help many companies, and then you, Tony, you help millions of people." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re able to spread." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought Idealab would be a construct to allow me to do what I want to do, but still have companies that individually are successful." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my story for that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The story of goto.com slash overture slash AdWords is a wild one." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Please share this." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you all listening to this because this is such an instructive story about your ability to navigate through things as well as all things you talked about, timing, etc." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So please do share." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s 1997." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Internet is still young." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got about 20 companies in our portfolio." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all trying to get attention on the internet, buying ads." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "AOL would charge you $3 million to buy the gardening section." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wouldn t tell you how much traffic you re going to get." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wouldn t tell you how many pages you re going to get." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wouldn t tell you how many clicks you were going to get." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was telling our CEOs," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t do that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole point about internet advertising is it should be accountable." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should know what you re going to get." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yahoo was doing the same thing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yahoo was charging on a CPM basis, cost per 1,000 ads, not telling you the quality of the view or anything like that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is prior to Google doing anything, Yahoo was driving for some people or two, you don t even know it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We thought of Yahoo in those days, no one does." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only way they were showing the search results" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was based on the frequency of the word on the page." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in other words, if you type in the word cars, looking for a good website on cars, the website that would show up higher was the one that had more occurrences of the word cars on it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So everybody figured that out." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all they would do is put the word cars, cars, cars, cars, cars on the page to get higher." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So everybody was in a spamming war to get more and more spam." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started thinking, how could we come up with a way to fix that problem?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of my companies want to buy cost-effective clicks." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They all want to pay on a click-through basis, not on a CPM basis, and not $3 million for three years with unknown traffic." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we had this idea, after trying 10 other ideas through all of 1997, that none of them worked." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had this idea, what about if we charge on a click-through basis on each keyword?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about if we have an auction for every word in the English language and in every language?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So on the word cars," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "websites could bid a click-through price, and the higher they bid, the higher they would show up." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that means you re just paying money to get the people to come to your website." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, yeah, but if you pay money, you re not going to buy the wrong keywords, because you have to be valid on cars to pay for the word cars." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I came up with that idea, and everybody argued against it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t charge people for search listings." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t charge people a search engine." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, well, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yellow Pages does that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how you get ads in the Yellow Pages." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The bigger ads show up first, then the smaller ads, and then the listings are at the end." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t we just be very transparent about what we re doing and tell what the cost per advertiser is and display it?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we did that we started that in February of 1998 little search engine called go to go to.com you go to go to.com you type in a keyword and all the listings will be sorted by price descending." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the regular listings would be at the bottom, so we still would show everybody it s just that you could show up higher if you bid more." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would happen was, better results would rise to the top." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They actually would, because you couldn t afford to pay $0.50 a click if you weren t relevant on that keyword, if you weren t actually delivering promise on that keyword." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Businesses loved it, because they could all of a sudden have transparency in what they were buying." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got a huge flood of business." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Revenues took off like crazy." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Soon, actual searchers loved it, because they were getting valid businesses." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They weren t getting spam anymore." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Company took off like crazy, went public in a year, went to over a billion dollar valuation, unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were doing hundreds of millions in revenues." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then in 1999, Google came out." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Google came out as a search engine with another way to improve relevance that was brilliant." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was called PageRank, after Larry Page, and it was based on link strength." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their Stanford thesis was about what about if we use the number of links into a website as a measure of the relevance of that website." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was genius." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was really good for non commercial terms." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Google started taking off like crazy for non commerce related searches." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and we were taking off like crazy for commerce-related searches." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, oh, my God, we got to partner with them." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They came to us and said, we got to partner with you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how to make money." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have no revenues." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got to combine forces." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had numerous chances to combine with Google, and all of our chances didn t come to pass." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got them away." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, both ways." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well at one time, our board of directors turned it down, because they said how can we acquire a company with no revenues like that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re a public company we got to justify this to shareholders, it was just unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a great merger would have been." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eventually, Google did go ahead and use our method of bidding listings, and they infringed on our patents, actually." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We took them to court and said, you re infringing on these patents, and they said, well, we ll buy these out." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They settled and bought them out for hundreds of millions of dollars, which turned out to be one of the biggest patent settlements at the time, but way too little compared to how valuable they were, but still, it was very, very valuable to us." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then Yahoo ended up seeing how valuable we were and acquired our company." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Yahoo ended up acquiring our company so that they would have a way to compete against Google." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were very, very proud to have played a place in the monetization of search." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Google invented probably the best search ever, but we invented maybe the best monetization of search." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And together- Which has made Google one of the most successful companies in the history of the world." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It started with the idea that you put it together, Bill Gross, you and your team." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s pretty amazing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you learn from that lesson though?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there were so many ups and downs." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, one definitely was we thought we had something really, really big, and I feel we should have held out to grow it bigger." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other of our investors were so happy to get a multibillion dollar exit that we sold to Yahoo." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish we had stayed longer in it, because I think we realized it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually said, guys, I think this is $100 billion opportunity." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people laughed at me, Bill, $100 billion." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that was too little." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was bigger than $100 billion." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just picking the highest number I could think of as to how out there could I be." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they thought I was nuts." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was nuts too low, not too high." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s near a trillion now." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s insane." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What else did you learn from that that you would want other entrepreneurs to hear?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the other thing I would say, when we first started out with the initial idea, people pooh-poohed it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People said, that is a really, really terrible idea to put money in search engine listings." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we really knew this is important." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the way it should work." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the lesson I would take away from that, which I didn t know at the time, but I say in hindsight, is if you really believe something is true," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and people are poo-pooing it, don t listen to them." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We didn t." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We stayed with it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I had listened to people telling me, stop that, we would have seen the bad review in the Wall Street Journal the day we came out, and we would have given up, and we didn t." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see something that you know is right," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of contrarian like I was talking about earlier, stick with it, fight through to make it be till now." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, look at you and everybody knows that in hindsight, it s obvious, but it wouldn t have happened if we didn t push it through." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had in the three stages of truth, first, everybody ignores it, then they ridicule it because they actually got threatened by it, and then finally, they accept it as being self-evident." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel that if you push through and take an idea that is ridiculed and make it self-evident, you have actually changed the world." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that is actually changing the world because you made something happen that wouldn t have happened otherwise." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, as an entrepreneur, when you feel that and you know in your heart you re fighting for something that actually is important, keep the fight up, you know, keep going because that means you re actually going to make a difference." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, for all those that are still with us, I hope that what you ve got from this, Mike," }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My goal in doing this was to maybe create a moment of excitement in you, where you think about the future in a different way, where you don t just listen to the news, which every day is droning on and on, and it has an agenda." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Its agenda is not a harsh one, it s just an agenda that there s an economics to that news, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so good ideas rarely interrupt you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have to be pursued." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to look for them." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So our goal here is to put you in front of those tools that can give you a greater sense of what s happening in the world, both so you can be a first mover yourself and perhaps make use of those things that are valuable for you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Secondly, we all need to become investors." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can use an Apple phone or you can own part of Apple." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason so many people suffer financially is not because the opportunity isn t there and it s not because they don t have enough money." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s because they re consumers they re not owners and if there s anything I hope this will get you to do is to think about the future in a new way that excites you to get you through the temporary ups and downs of issues like COVID or racism they re all real issues but there s nothing humanity has created that humanity can t solve as we ve already said but also if you want to participate in helping those people that are working on the cutting edge of increasing the quality of life for all people" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can become an owner with them and you can prosper as they prosper in helping millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions, or perhaps billions of people." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So hope this has been inspiring for you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re an entrepreneur, I hope you ve listened to some of the great lessons that these entrepreneurs have given us by taking a couple hours of their time to just share from the heart what they ve learned." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I want to thank you, Bill Gross, the most successful entrepreneur in growing companies from nothing to over a billion." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s already got seven." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s done that." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re listening, it looks like he s got his eighth and ninth and maybe 10th one on the way." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mikhail, for what you re doing to open up space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jason, for what you re doing to help us and make Brooklyn a farming environment, but any place be a farming environment with both, as you said, not only cheaper costs and better nutrients, but delicious." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Dakin, for your incredible pioneering efforts to pull together such great entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a pleasure to spend time with all of you again." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you, I respect you, and for all of you at home, thank you for joining us again for the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Till we see you soon, live strong, live with passion, and God bless." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast for the third and final Fireside Chat of 2020." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you haven t heard the first two in the series, you can find them here or go to TonyRobbins.com slash holiday to watch the video versions of all three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this series, Tony and Sage break down the key to this holiday season in three steps." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First, to find the blessing in this crazy year amidst everything that has happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To really look at the challenges of the past year through a different lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The circumstances or situations that may have caused pain at a time, but pushed you to evolve and grow, to become more resilient and make progress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the second one, they shared how to be the blessing, how to be a light for everyone around you by making one small, simple shift in how you approach the holidays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We hope you were able to use this tool to have more enjoyment for yourself too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, in this third fireside chat, Tony and Sage share with you the simple rituals they do together with their family at this time each year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe it s something you want to try this New Year s Eve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a way for you to see how truly blessed you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as we head into 2021, in this entirely new world we all find ourselves in, Tony wants to give you the opportunity to grow even more and create whatever it is you truly desire, the life you were made for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen carefully because he s going to announce a gift that he s giving to everyone free of charge so that you can make 2021 not just better than the last, but your best year ever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hello, everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Welcome back to our third Fireside Chat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s been beautiful this time and this way to join with you and connect with you all around the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And thank you for coming once again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you haven t been with the first two Fireside Chats, this is our final one of the year here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The purpose of it was just to bring some inspiration and maybe a simple tool that you could use really quickly to kind of take back a little bit more control and find the joy in your life, even though the extra world s in a crazy place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure, you know, we call this winter when all these things seem to be happening all at once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with COVID, it s been really intense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so our first Fireside Chat is really about this theme of find the blessing, because in everything, there s a blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life is always happening for us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks like it s happening to us, but it s our job to find that empowering meaning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even with all that s happened with COVID and all the racial injustice and imbalances, all the things that we ve dealt with this year around the world, there still have been moments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And unless we find the good," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s wrong is always available, but so is what s right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not about being positive thinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about giving yourself a meaning that allows you to keep moving forward and take back control of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the way we take control is not the external world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It starts by taking control of our internal world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, even with families being separated as hard as it s been, people passing, there s still been blessings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People have spent more time with each other, their loved ones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve had a chance to learn new ways of learning and growing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people in business have figured out how to pivot in the most insane environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those skill sets and those abilities set you up for an even greater life, because we can only build on success, not on failure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I hope you ll take the time to find some blessings in the middle of the challenges and in the pain, because that s what makes us as human beings be able to sustain and grow, and not just survive, but thrive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then our second one was saying, if you can find the blessing, now our job is to be the blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is to be our best selves no matter what the environment is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if the only time you re in a great state and you re really happy and fulfilled is when everything goes your way, well, for most humans, that s not going to happen all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if everybody behaves the way you want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the theme of that session is something we both live all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like holding yourself to a standard that says, it s not about me getting, it s about me giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a relationship, what makes a relationship deep and rich and beautiful is not what you get, it s what you give." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this desire, I want to light this person up, and that is the gift to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m seeing them so happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also just doing that in your daily life, like learning to discipline your disappointment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not let it take you over, not let it go to despair, or if it s there, how to snap out of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we gave you a tool called the Quality Quantifier that shows you how you can decide how to have this best Christmas you can imagine or the best year you can imagine, what to do within yourself so it s not phony and fake, it s not a pump-up, but what are the tools that ll trigger your biochemistry, your own nervous system, to make you feel that strength, and so that you have something to give to those you love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what makes us feel alive, not getting, but giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, if you give and give and give, you receive what you ve already given and you receive also the karmic response of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the third step in this simple process is if you find the blessings and you re being a blessing, you will be blessed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re not talking about in religious terms, we re just talking about this idea that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have experiences in life where we experience a boon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when, boy, it feels like nothing works, like everything you try is going wrong, and that life seems like it s against you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But really, if you develop that belief, life s happening for me, then it s making me stronger, it s making me dig deeper, it s making me find something more inside myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you also hear people talk about grace like it s luck, like, oh, aren t they lucky they have a great job, or a great business, or a great family?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really don t think grace is luck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think grace is a reflection of our contributions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we have a certain amount of grace just being alive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, the gifts of just waking up with your heart beating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But honey, why don t you address what you think is grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Certainly my experience, I mean, number one, this moment is grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, all of us connecting in this unique platform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Living on this planet, on this rock, spinning in the universe, I mean, it s a miracle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s so much of life that, you know, we can be blind to when we re inside of our own minds, or we re stressed, or we re in judgment, or blaming another person, or thinking that something should have or shouldn t have happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s my experience that grace is all around us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really it s not so much of an external thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really It s something to be noticed, you know, it s it s something is appreciated, you know the other day I was I was driving to Walgreens on my way to the airport and I drove by like the bus stop and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there was this guy, you know, he was an older man, and maybe he had his headphones on or whatever, but he was rocking out all by himself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he was just, I was sitting at the stoplight and I was looking at him, and he was just like really having a good time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I felt blessed by that moment, taking in that man s beauty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Just, I didn t even know him, you know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We didn t even make eye contact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I felt grace of this man experiencing just his own joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The other day, Tony and I were out in our backyard here, and we were having a conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And maybe there s fish in the ocean, because birds were all diving into the ocean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then all of a sudden, one took flight over top of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he and I, in the same moment, in the same breath, it was just silent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We just watched this being, this bird, this beautiful bird, fly over us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in that moment, I felt blessed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I felt the grace of the beauty of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think what s so beautiful is a lot of people think, you know, in life I have to do something good or I have to be this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No matter what we ve done in our life, no matter who we are, what our past is, if we all walk outside, we all feel the sun on our face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think that that s the grace of living in this existence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s those miracles all around us every single day, and it s really more about witnessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and noticing, you know, it s so simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The other day, too, it s like so funny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m using so many animals and things, but just a lot of times it is in nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it can be in my own home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was going to give another example of this little ant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, have you ever seen that ant that s like pulling like a leaf or something?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it shouldn t be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s like, what the heck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you feel that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "awe and wonder, you know, just that mirror of life reflecting back possibility." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or in your own home sometimes, like I ll hear my family and I might be in the kitchen and they might be in the family room, I m not even a part of the conversation, but just to hear their laughter or their conversation, it s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s grace to actually take that in, to recognize it and specifically notice it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "because that s the gift of slowing down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that s one of the beautiful gifts that Tony mentioned about, you know, all that we ve went through in this, you know, 2020 and the change is it slowed a lot of us down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It changed our habits, you know, because sometimes in our habits we come blind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for my own self, you know, just, I ve just noticed that I ve noticed more grace in it all, no matter what is happening in the external world, because there s always going to be a challenge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you turn on the news or you re looking at your social media, anybody can get stirred up in a moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But, you know, to step outside of that and come back home with inside yourself and just notice during this holiday season, just start to notice and be amazed at the grace that we ve all been blessed with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we can appreciate instead of expect, you know, like people come to the holidays sometimes with family and the in-laws and the outlaws and all the other people that are there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people have expectations of how it should be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But people are going to be the way they re going to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "having expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We always talk about, you know, trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life changes in that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this holiday, that s really part of grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s part of the blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a good friend named Michael Singer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may have read his book, The Untethered Soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he has this great quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He says, you know, grace is like rain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s falling everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all over the place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, you know, falling on everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we often hold an umbrella over our head called ego." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so we don t get wet, we don t feel the grace, and the ego is all the judgments, and we all have it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t wanna get charged up by the word ego, it s just fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When someone else egotistically seems to be egotistical, they re just afraid that they re not enough, that they won t be loved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not even aware of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what we really want to encourage you to do is to really take in the blessings that are here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You found the blessings, you re being a blessing, and then you ll be blessed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we thought there would be something really simple we could give you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a tradition we have in our family" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to, if we could, give you a little process, real quick one you can do on your own over the next few days or before New Year s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you do it, I think you ll really be fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we want to give you a gift that we re very excited about, a training that will cost you nothing, that will help you turn 2021 into your best year ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re stuck in or not, we want to show you what to do to make that happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s tell you first the assignment, if you re willing to take it on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is, every year, for a decade and a half or more, I ve done it for about two decades now, almost now, what we ve done, especially the last, say, 15 years, 12 years, we make a slideshow of the year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because today, as you know, digital pictures, everyone s got a million of them now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we do it, and if you ve got Apple or Google, whoever, usually can build a slideshow for you, but we take the time to do it, pick our favorite music, and lay it out, because so much goes on in a year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s crazy, the ups and the downs and the in-betweens, and if you just keep moving forward and you don t capture it, sometimes it just, you feel exhausted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what we do is we make a slideshow, we all watch it, we just watched it the other day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then after that, if you have a, if you keep a calendar, which most people do, we pull the calendar out, that s the way we help to use it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we pull out our journals, if you have a journal, but everybody s got a calendar and everybody can create a slideshow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we sit down and we do a simple process where we ll write down, okay, what, by month, what were the great accomplishments of that month, little ones and big ones, not just big ones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what are some of the magic moments?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We make a separate list." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And magic moments are like moment we laughed our guts out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you had those three squirrels come running up on your lap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or the look in your child s eye when you were talking about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Moments, laughter moments, sacred moments, beautiful moments, because life goes by so quick." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s great to see what you ve achieved, but it s also great to see those little moments, because that s what life is made up of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stacks you in this beautiful place where you really can live in a beautiful state and you really can be a blessing to others, because you ve already done the work inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Sage was saying, if you don t focus on it, if you don t stack it, it s there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we go, what are the accomplishments, month by month, so we got them for the year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are some of the magic moments?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the slideshows help us do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We brainstorm together, look at our calendars." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then thirdly, we say, okay, what were the challenges?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what did we learn?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we make a separate list of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t you share your experience with that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s honestly, it s one of my favorite times of the year together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We always just play our favorite music and it s just sweet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll light the fire and we, you know, Tone s journey as a family, we re all kind of having our own experience and just going through and," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of times I d be like, okay, gosh, you know, I forgot about this and that, you know, I want to share it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we make our own list and then we come together as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what s always so insightful, you know, hindsight is always so beautiful because we have the experience that we went through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes back then we didn t know the gift in it, you know, we weren t" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we weren t awake or aware of how that circumstance really has evolved us or blessed our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what s so beautiful is going back and you look at the year and sometimes the most painful moments, the most uncomfortable moments, what felt in a moment like it was, you know, brutal, it s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s beautiful because of, oh my gosh, you know what I forgot, like, it just caused me to, you know, I tapped into that part of myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we write just all the growths, all the learnings, all the gifts, and at the end of it, you know, because we usually stack this and we ll do it on New Year s Eve, we literally will go to the fireplace and we ll... We burn all the pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We do, we roll it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We keep all the lessons, we keep all the magic, but we burn all the problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anything that just we want to let go of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anything that s no longer needed, any parts of ourself that, you know what, it s just not who I am anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We make lists of what we want to let go of, everything we want to let go of, we burn that too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we say a prayer, and we read it, and just, you know, thank you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for the experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for the insight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for the wisdom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for the deeper connection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we let it all go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We let it all go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s something that s been a really beautiful tradition, and it makes New Year s Eve really purposeful and meaningful for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we do some of it, you know, like the slideshow before Christmas and then we celebrate it all at that time usually, but we cheated this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We did a slideshow early, but we re going to enhance it a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s still a few more days out of the year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So just a quick review." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can, gather your pictures by month, put them in a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pick some of your favorite music, play it, let it hit you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then go back, if you have a journal, look at month by month, see what you accomplished." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What did we achieve this month?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Little things, big things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then what are the magic moments?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then what were the challenges and solutions?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can decide to burn it or not, or just keep it as your record." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you do this, I think your life, I know for us, it s really enriched things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as the years go by, it s really nice to have this history." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you look back and go, that felt like 10 years ago, and that was two and a half years ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you also see themes of what s occurred." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I hope you ll do this for yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then finally, we just wanna offer you a free gift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a beautiful gift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last year in the middle of COVID in the summer here, so many people are still trapped in their homes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Sage and I said, let s do something for everybody worldwide." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do a full-blown, let s do a program." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do something people can do from their homes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we put together a program, we call it the Comeback Challenge, because my core belief is that this new year is coming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This new year, it s a new world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s gonna require a new you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the comeback challenge is everybody gets knocked to their knees." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know that, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t care how strong you think you are, life will humble you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the real question in life is not whether you get knocked to your knees by COVID, by financial challenges, by your business, by government regulation, by whatever, but how are you able to get back up and come back?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the best comeback is not just getting back to where you were, it s getting beyond that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So traditionally, most people, if they set goals," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They usually do it the first of the year and they make their New Year s resolutions, but they re not resolutions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re resolved, resolved means you ve cut off anything other than what you ve committed to, like every ounce of your soul is there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re resolved, you ve got a plan and some action, but most people go, you know, I wanna lose 20 pounds, I wanna make this money, but they don t really do anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so all the research shows is by the first week in February, 85% of people who ve set some resolution have already broken it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people break it within a week to 10 days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we want 2021 to be your best year ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that in the midst of COVID and all the uncertainty, that sounds like BS, but it s not, because it can be the best year ever here, and then you can take that out to your world and make the things that make it happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, if you think about, just so you get a reality check, think of something that is in your life today that once was a dream or a desire that you thought, when you first thought about it, you wanted, but you thought it would be impossible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet today, that dream or that goal or the desires in your life, it might be a job, it might have been a relationship, it might have been a business, it might have been a certain economics, it might have been anything, but you found a way to get there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How did you do it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You didn t do it just by writing a resolution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My bet is you obsessed on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You really focused, you gave it time and energy, and you wanted it so bad you couldn t stop thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because where focus goes, energy flows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when you focus like that, have you ever had something that you just kept focusing on, you just couldn t let go of it, and then stuff happened?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Suddenly you met somebody, or you heard a conversation, and it all came together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure you have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes focus alone will make the shift by continuous focus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you add focus along with the second step of massive action and effective execution, which is what we teach, it s like, here s what we re going to do, and here s the best way to do it in the shortest period of time if you want to change your body, if you want to change your relationship, if you want to create a relationship, you want to grow your business, you want to change your economics, you want more energy in your body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are strategies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you have the wrong strategy, you have all this focus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always give a silly metaphor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like if your goal was to see a sunset and you started running east, I don t care how positive you are, it s not gonna work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we wanna share with you the strategies for each era of your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re gonna do this program for five days in a row here in January." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll give you the dates in a moment here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you now, January 21st to the 25th." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you can do it from your home, and there s zero charge for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can attend, you can bring your whole family there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last year in the summer, we did this with 400,000 people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this year we hope to reach half a million people here in January." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New world, new you, new life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we really wanna serve you, but I hope you ll do what we ve already offered you here, capture this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because you can t build on failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many blessings in this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can see them, feel them, the magic moments, the accomplishments, things you overcome, and if you can learn from the challenges, then let s set you up with that sense of joy and awe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go spend five days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll spend about 90 minutes a day together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you ll be able to do it from the comfort of your home and set up 2021 to rock, to crush it, to go to the next level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that no matter what happens in the outside world, you know that you re more than anything can happen to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know that you re going to be able to take care of yourself and your family" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll bring you the best of what we have, and we ll bring you some of our core associates, people that we really love and respect and learn from as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you d like to join us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can go to make2021myyear.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make2021myyear.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s been beautiful to be with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Please, we look forward to seeing you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "As Tony mentioned, I just love, I love the title of this, make2021myyear.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We really pray that you come and join us then, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "God bless to you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Have a beautiful holiday and we ll see you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever your belief structures are, we hope you celebrate with your family and take this special time of the year in and you find and share the blessings of life no matter what has been happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is a deeper, richer experience waiting for all of us who are willing to dig for it and not just accept whatever life offers on the external." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go deep, enjoy your holiday, and we hope you have all the love that you desire and deserve." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As many of you might know, Tony has made it one of his life s missions to help feed as many people as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His own family struggled to put food on the table growing up, and it was one stranger s kindness that inspired Tony to give back as an adult." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a philanthropist, through his partnership with Feeding America, Tony has provided over 500 million meals in the last five years to those in need, and he s on track to provide one billion meals over the next five years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he couldn t stop there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony s latest mission is to solve world hunger and the antiquated unsustainable food practices that currently plague our environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By 2050, Earth s population will have reached 9.7 billion people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The demand for high-protein products is increasing, while the impact from current meat production practices is devastating our planet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The COVID-19 pandemic has worsened food insecurity, food safety, and access for many communities around the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Furthermore, cities projected to face rapid population growth and wealth increase are experiencing surges in demand for poultry and fish as opposed to red meat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen as Tony speaks to XPRIZE founder, executive chairman, and his dear friend, Peter Diamandis, about the groundbreaking XPRIZE competition." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "XPRIZE Feed the Next Billion is a $15 million competition incentivizing teams to produce chicken and fish alternatives that replicate or outperform conventional protein in structure, versatility, sensory properties, and nutritional profile, while having a lower comparable environmental footprint." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Solving world hunger while saving the environment?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the stuff of miracles, thanks to the brilliant minds and hearts of these competitors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s hear from Tony and Peter now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hello, everyone, and welcome to another radically optimistic episode of XPRIZE Future Positive Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m Peter Diamandis, founder and executive chairman of XPRIZE." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Food insecurity is one of humanity s most pressing problems, and our guest today and my good friend Tony Robbins has made it one of his life s missions to help feed as many people as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Back in 2018, Tony pitched to XPRIZE an idea to radically change the global food production system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, we re going to be exploring the story of how our newest XPRIZE, the $15 million XPRIZE Feed the Next Billion competition, came to be and why it matters, especially right now, and what future we are trying to create through innovation and competition." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony Robbins is an entrepreneur, number one New York Times bestselling author, and the nation s number one life and business strategist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Through his partnership with Feeding America, Tony has provided over 500 million meals in the last five years to those in need." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Foundation has awarded over 2,000 grants and other resources to health and human service organizations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony, welcome, buddy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to have you here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to be with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re about to launch another XPRIZE." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s very exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The learning XPRIZE is going to have huge impact, but I think this one, it fits people right where they live in their stomach and the way they re able to live." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So just for those who missed it, Tony was one of the benefactors alongside Elon Musk for another $15 million prize for teaching kids around the world" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who were illiterate how to do reading, writing and math." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was called the Global Learning XPRIZE and massive success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we had like 30 fold the amount of money spent by all the teams to win it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the winning technology now is impacting kids throughout the world, especially in parts of Africa and South and Central America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re able to learn without teachers now because they can take an iPad or a tablet and literally begin to learn on their own at a tempo that they weren t able to do with teachers previously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m real excited about the impact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I thank you, Peter, for your partnership in making that happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, my pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you for stepping up, buddy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re doing it again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this is a much bigger challenge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, people can survive not reading and writing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, not in the current world, I guess the world we re living into, but food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s just fundamental." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just to lay this out, I will go into more detail in a minute, but for those who want to understand what we re going to be speaking about here, we re talking about another $15 million prize." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is a prize to develop a new way to produce food that could feed the next billion people without decimating the planet and without breaking the bank." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are your thoughts on the prize rules here?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What rings true to you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I think what s really critical is for people to understand how big the problem is, because living in the Western world, we don t realize it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I realize it because I grew up without food, not starving, but, you know, I had a Thanksgiving when I was 11 years old and there was no food we were going to have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We wouldn t have starved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We d had a can of tuna and some crackers, but we weren t going to have a Thanksgiving meal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so the genesis of this prize really begins in my own pain and my own suffering." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t want other people to suffer because once you talk about food insecurity, I know what that means." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so somebody came to our house that day, delivered food to us as a surprise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had a meal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it changed my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It completely changed it because it made me think strangers care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I wanted to care about strangers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so over the years, I started feeding two families, then four, then eight, then I got my small company involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And eventually I got to 42 million people I d fed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that was back in about six years ago when I was writing a book called" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "money master of the game, and I was interviewing all these self-made billionaires, you know, Warren Buffett, Ray Dalio, Carl Icahn, all the best of the best, and I m reading that Congress cut food stamps, it s now called the SNAP program here in the U.S., by billions of dollars, so much so that every child, every family that needs food who s on that assistance program would have to go one week a month without food unless guys like you and I in the private sector stepped up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I found I had fed 42 million people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I didn t know that was the total." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought, what if I fed that many in a year?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then it was, what if I fed a hundred million in a year?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if I fed a billion people, a billion meals over 10 years here in the US?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so we re six years into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re over 650 million meals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think we re going to hit 700 meals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re ahead of the schedule we were going to do this on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re going to hit the billion for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then you look around at the rest of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you know, you know what s happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You talk about this all the time and look at how much progress humanity has made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Since 1900, we ve doubled the lifespan of a human being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve tripled the per capita income from virtually every nation on earth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve taken the cost of food down 30 fold, the transportation a hundred fold." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve taken 1.7 billion people are living in extreme poverty in 1996, 97." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now it s 227 million." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s still 227 million too many people, but it s like, we have all this ability and we have a food shortage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "billion people around the world, 900 million, 870 million to be exact if the estimates are accurate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So nearly a billion people right now that are chronically malnourished." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "9 million people die of year of starvation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s 24,000 people a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Please get your head around that for a second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s 1,000 people an hour." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s 16 people a second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And of those 16 people, 10 are children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it is unacceptable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you made hunger a nation after China and India, it s the third largest nation in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And here in America, we have 50 million people, the richest country in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we ve got 50 million that don t know where their next meal is, and 16 million are children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I ve worked on the US, but I thought, the world s a bigger project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if we re going to turn this around, we really need to bring the greatest minds together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s what s so beautiful about these X prizes, is to bring the geniuses of all over the earth and saying, how can we shift it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it started, as you know, by me coming to you and saying, can we put together a plan?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the best way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We looked at vertical gardening and all the things we could do, cut down transportation costs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what we really began to find out is it s our current system of basically raising meat that is destroying the planet and can t feed enough people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because right now, according to the UN, by 2050, we re going to need 70% more food and 76% more meat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The demand for high-end protein in China has gone berserk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For any place where there s any money, where people become wealthy, that s what they want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we re outstripping our capacity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cause right now there s four things that our current meat structure culture worldwide is destroying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first thing is our land use." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we re using literally almost 70% of the usable farmland is being used." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And of that 80% of it is for raising these animals for their food and for raising them personally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so you look at the people are worried about what s happening for the lungs of the earth down in the Amazon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, take a look at 70% of the deforestation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s 18 million acres here, the size of Panama we re burning down, and it s for raising cattle for beef production." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s not sustainable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no way we can grow to that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re talking about going from 7.6 billion people to 9.7 billion people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s almost a third growth to 2050." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no way we can do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re destroying the earth as it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re poisoning ourselves very often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what else?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, water is becoming one of the most important resources on earth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And one cow takes up during its lifetime, basically a destroyer full of water, one cow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we ve got, I was looking at the number of 1.5 billion cattle, 20 billion chickens that we re raising just to try to feed most of the people, but not everybody in this world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I look around at that and go greenhouse gases, you know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We get more greenhouse gases from the methane from these animals than you do from all cars, planes, all forms of transportation combined." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it s nuts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then there s the safety issues that we ve all run into of the pollution that happens when you slaughter animals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s also inhumane." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we were looking for solutions, as you know, and we spent about a half million dollars, brought in all the best experts, spent almost two years to finally discover that the greatest answer possible is what is now known as cultured protein." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or cultured beef, or clean protein, I should say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be clean chicken, clean fish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what it is, is stem cell grown." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that sounds like a fantasy, but they ve been doing it for 15 years now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It started at $330,000 for a pound." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to feed the poorest of the poor that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then they reduced it 90%, you know, $230." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now their target was $2.30, but what they need is more incentive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the beauty of these XPRIZES, as you know, because you created it, is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all these teams competing will spend more money than the prize and create a brand new industry just like you did in space." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this opportunity to bring the smartest minds together and say, how do we do this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we feed the whole world in a cleaner format that s healthier for them, that s better for the planet, and uses maybe 80% less water, 80% less land," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and puts us all in a position where we re not having to burn down the rainforest, the lungs of the earth, and have people still enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the most important part of this rule for me is, number one, it s got to taste good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because otherwise, no matter how good it is for you, no one s going to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as you know, one of our rules is, it s got these celebrity chefs, and it s got to be in a blind taste test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got to win." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so cut the cost, cut the damage, and provide a real solution, because we need a new system of production for food in this world, because the one we have is not sustainable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me hit on a few points in addition, Tony, because I love your passion, and this is one of your massively transformative purposes, and it s a pleasure to be your wingman on this moonshot, because it really is a moonshot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have destroyed, by overfishing, 90% of the large fish in our oceans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is, you know, when I go out for sushi and I look at a piece of sashimi and I go, man, I guess I should stop eating this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it is possible and people may not believe it, but it is possible to go from a stem cell from an ahi tuna or from the right chicken or whatever it might be to grow a piece of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "protein that has the texture, the feel, the taste, and perhaps if it s not a large tuna fish, no mercury, and you ve had the impact of mercury, so it s healthier for you in that regard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the challenge is people don t realize that we have already reinvented how we create our food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The food that we re eating today is not the way we as an agrarian or a hunter-gatherer society had our food even 10,000 years ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve had a green revolution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The planet would have starved many times over had we not had fertilizer and pesticides and farming and farm equipment and all of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just time to do it again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s time to do it again for an important reason, which is that we re heading towards a world in which we re moving more and more people out of extreme poverty into middle class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And those individuals in middle class desire a higher quality protein." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t want to be told, I can have it and you can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if we re going to give those additional billion people" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The chicken, the fish, which is what we re focusing on, versus the pork or beef, if we re going to give them that kind of protein, it s not going to be sustainable on this planet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re absolutely correct." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you brought up the fish, which to me is one of the most important elements, because we not only are overfishing and adding plastic to the waters," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re putting ourselves in a position where there is a tipping point where you can t go back and people hear about this and it s probably not 12 years like some people doing fear you know gloom and doom but there is a limit to everything and so i don t think people understand is this technology exists we just got to bring the price down and it s gone down 90 we need another 90 and that s what this prize is about because you can literally take a single cell of that ahi fish or a single cell of a chicken and take that white meat and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and grow it infinitely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you re able to grow it and double it within a few days, a single cell, and it gets stronger and stronger, bigger and bigger, and we can do it locally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because as you know, the transportation costs, what are they, about 40% now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what the current figure is?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s as much as 50% of the food on your Thanksgiving table was food miles, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The beef from Argentina, the wine from France, the potatoes from Idaho, whatever it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the question is, can you move the production of the food to where it s being consumed?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these types of factories could operate in downtown Abu Dhabi, downtown Detroit, wherever it might be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, like you said, we don t want to offer a second grade product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has to taste great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in fact, this is going to be part of the rules of this competition are that teams need to deliver 25 servings" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "four ounces per serving, which is an average serving of their raw chicken equivalent and their raw fish equivalent, 25 servings of each, to a group of celebrity chefs who are going to be cooking with that product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re also gonna be cooking with chicken and fish that high quality derived from the farm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they re gonna be blind taste test to see which do you like better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I believe we could create a product that tastes better, healthier for you, lower cost, better for the planet," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And humane, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s these animals as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And cleaner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we know all the challenges with foot-mouth disease, with, you know, all the different things that occur in the process of butchering animals and transporting animals and or fish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the idea to eliminate that, and it s not a pipe dream, because without this kind of competition over the last set of years, it s gone down, as I said, from $3,500 a pound to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, $300 a pound." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to make another 90% drop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as you know, maybe you can share some of the excitement we re seeing in the industry as we brought this prize up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it first came up, I said, I ll put up the first million." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, let s fund the rest of this prize with just a few people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I flew over to Abu Dhabi." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You came with me with the team and went there to go see a dear friend of mine, who is Highness Sheikh Tanun bin Zayed Nayyan, and also MBZ, not MBS from Saudi Arabia, but Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nayyan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "his brother who runs the country, and they were incredibly supportive, and they really give us our initial momentum, and now we have so many other people on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe you can share a little bit about what people in the industry are saying who are excited about this, because it sounds like a pipe dream, and I m not here to throw my money away, or my time, or my energy, and nor ask anybody else to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you and I both know most of the X prizes sound like a pipe dream in the beginning, but what s the word on the street as you re talking to some of the experts in the industry?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So first of all, I want to point out we have two tracks on this prize, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One track... We ve got to make sure they know there s a vegetable-based one, not an animal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So one track is you re going to pluck the stem cell without killing the animal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to take a few cells from their muscle and you re going to grow the equivalent of that tuna steak or that chicken breast and do it at scale in a way that is replicable and affordable and consistent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other option, and we ve seen a real explosion in plant-based products, is to do this with a plant-based product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, we ll see which can eventually get to the lower cost." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m betting on cellular agriculture, the stem cell version over a plant, but we ll have both." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also need both because of people s belief systems and religion and so forth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In India, you have so many people that are vegetarians." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I knew we needed to do that as well, for sure, as a first choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But unfortunately, in Western societies and in China and places like that, they want the taste of the beef or they want the chicken or the fish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the idea of feeding white meat" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and white meat that is just as delicious as the finest in the world, because you re literally taking the stem cell, you re taking the exact fundamental DNA that creates that, and being able to do it in less time, with less space, with less money, and believe something that, you know, really tastes incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s where the revolution happens on both sides, the vegetable side and the animal-based side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is not easy by any means, but if it were easy, we wouldn t be doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The goal is to make a dent in the cost curve, in the health curve, in the environmental curve that isn t linear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what most people don t realize is the tools that we have to do this with are not standing still." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have this massive explosion going on right now in AI that s transforming everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got quantum computing coming online, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We saw IBM project a million qubit machine with a hundred fold less error rate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these sorts of technologies are going to allow us to model molecular systems and learn" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how to make it taste a little bit better, give it a little bit better texture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On top of that, we have, you know, robotics for being able to handle materials." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And ultimately, we have more and more entrepreneurs able to get crack at this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s the exciting part." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know who s gonna win." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t need to know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just need to know what the finish line looks like and be able to say to somebody, you did it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Congratulations, here s the money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, why don t you, for people listening, I know a lot of people have listened to others," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give me an example of one of the X prizes that you ve already done that you re just blown away by the result yourself and the team is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just give people a sense of something that seemed impossible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve done so many." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s one of the first one that pops up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it d be great for context for everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So back in 2010, there was an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the BP oil spill, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s going on, it s going on, it s going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They can t cap it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re just watching the coastlines of Texas, Louisiana, Florida being decimated" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I got a call from Jim Cameron." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jim, the film producer, is also an ocean explorer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, we ve got to do an emergency X-Prize here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we said, we can t plug the oil spill, but what if we could clean up the oil on the ocean surface faster than it s guzzling to get it so it stops getting and destroying the fisheries and land?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we went from announcing that competition to having" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "350 teams enter within three months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We then gave them another three months to build their prototype equipment and to ship it in a shipping container to the world s largest oil spill cleanup facility." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And our mission was double the oil spill cleanup rate because it hadn t changed in 20 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had teams that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that were like a father and son team, a team that was a tattoo artist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Literally, he was the designer and one of his customers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they built a scale model on the guy s swimming pool and then tested it in the full scale here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like from Vegas, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wasn t even near the ocean, is my memory right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the winning team, that was Landlok, I forget, they were from Minnesota, I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their winning technology was a 600%, six-fold increase on the oil spill cleanup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the day before something is truly a breakthrough, it s a crazy idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re out in the world shopping for crazy ideas, for people who don t know what s not possible, who come in and take a completely different approach to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yes, 99.9% may lose, but that 0.1% that makes it, it s a revolution and we all win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I agree." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, it s not that far off because there s already technology doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve shown we can drop it 90% and it just needs the focus, the energy, like what these competitions do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s lots of impossible burgers and things like out there for those are looking for something that has kind of flavor of beef." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, a lot of those have a variety of things in them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people argue whether they re nutritionally sound or not, or what else you re getting with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re really trying to find a way, if we can, to give people both that vegetable substitute and that animal protein substitute, but without all the negatives that come with any form of that, but also especially the negatives that come with red meat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so having chicken and poultry is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think one of the critical aspects of what this can really add the most value in as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People don t stop to think about what is food, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Food is the energy of the sun 93 million miles away, those photons coming down, hitting the earth, a fraction of one percent, and then hitting a chloroplast in the plant, becoming a hydrocarbon, you know, carbohydrate, and then that chicken or that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that poultry, whatever, eating it, and then you re eating it, so you re transporting the energy from the sun into your body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And our mission is how do you do it more efficiently?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a way that s sustainable, because I don t think, you know, people look at the now, human beings are so myopic, it s just our nature." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If things are going great right now, we think it s going to go great forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If things are terrible, we think it s going to be terrible forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And life is cyclical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some things are predictable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the most predictable thing right now is we know we can t sustain what we re doing to the planet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a huge piece of this global warming is coming from the way in which we re dealing with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both the animals themselves, the methane that s coming out of them, but also the destruction of the rainforest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I just want to remind people, if you re worried about that, your eating patterns play a role there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So not everybody s going to be willing in China to say, I m going to be a vegan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we got to have an option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you know, I personally am, you know, 80%, you know, water content foods." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was a vegan for, you know, what, 13, 14 years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not everybody s going to go that path." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I see people saying, well, we ll just make everybody vegan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, great, let s come up with a vegetable substitute that s cheaper, better, all those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got a prize for that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for those that aren t going to make it, we re not going to be able to force everyone to believe what we believe or behave this way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need an option where it meets all their needs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The deliciousness, the ease, the access, the cost reduction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can put those things together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not we, us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be these incredible teams." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe you can walk through a little bit just the high level of what we re doing with the prize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a $15 million prize, but I know we ve gone back and forth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just finally resigned the final numbers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to share those?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me just take a second and give folks an overview of the rules." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how they can participate because if you don t, you may not personally know you can participate, but you may know someone who they hear about this prize would like to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we hope you ll share it with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Share this podcast with your friends, anybody in the planet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember it s the tattoo artist in Las Vegas who comes up with this brilliant idea because he doesn t know what can t be done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, you know, I define the expert as a person who could tell you exactly how it can t happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here s the winning team statement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the winning team will develop a new generation of alternative chicken breast and fish fillet that will allow humanity to feed the next billion economically and in an environmentally responsible way by meeting the following criteria." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So first criteria is about taste, texture, and cookability." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You said it right, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it doesn t taste good, no one s going to want to eat it and we re going to be giving a second tier product to the people who deserve" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the same as we do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So each team s going to deliver 25 servings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are four ounces each of raw chicken and of the fish fillet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to be going to a group of celebrity chefs who are going to be cooking it and they re going to be cooking it against actual fish and chicken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s going to be head-to-head blind taste testing competition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you ve got to do at least as good, hopefully better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The cost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the whole reason we re doing this is to feed the next billion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s got to be more affordable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, at a minimum, we ve said it s got to be 50% cheaper than the alternatives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not going to be 50% if you re making one filet, but we re saying if you re making a billion meals a year, which, you know, will feed a fraction of the individuals, a billion meals a year, it s got to be at least 50% more affordable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re going to give points to those who get it down to 80% or 90%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Environmentally, listen, the environmental impact, you rattled them off, Tony." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s water use, it s land use, it s greenhouse gases, it s fossil fuel use." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re gonna ask teams to reduce their environmental impact by at least 50%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, more points if you go beyond that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the final elements are less than 1% antibiotics, because antibiotics are an issue with our current food security." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Comparable nutritional value to conventional foods." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "conventional fish and chicken, and then minimal to zero harm to animals in creating this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are the rules." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you go to XPRIZE.org, you can see more details and how to register." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s really about getting people" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I got passionate about space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was Apollo and Star Trek." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started dreaming about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Tony, you have had so many amazing moonshots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our mission is maybe this competition will get some kid somewhere excited about reinventing how we feed the planets, you know, at the base of Maslow s hierarchy of needs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No question about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Air, water, food, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we don t take care of those three things, and they all affect one another." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way we re raising our food and the way we re eating currently" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "destroying our air and our water." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this, to me, is one of those tipping point elements that people, we can do something about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m excited about the competition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that we have multiple prizes, and you can see the breakdown of how they work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re announcing it today on December the 7th, and we re going to give folks a few months to register." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to get feedback on these rules, and we re going to then be able to hear from people, well, you missed this point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We go out with a set of guidelines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We welcome feedback from the community." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Clearly, they re going to be a lot of smart people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "out there who will say this isn t high enough as a bar, low enough as a bar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ve got, Tony, we have a total of $15 million in prizes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me lay this out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have $3 million in milestone prizes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So teams along the way, as they hit certain targets, will get capital to continue to accelerate them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The grand prize is going to be $7 million." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Second place is $2 million." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And third place is $1 million." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, it s not a winner-take-all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of these may be easier to do in certain climates or certain conditions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s another one, which is interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So today the majority of the stem cell grown meats are made in a growth medium that s derived from animals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so animals are harmed in this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a $2 million bonus prize for the team that can create a breakthrough to develop an animal origin free growth medium that can grow these muscle stem cells." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like all prizes, it has a deadline." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And deadlines are what get people to accelerate, compete, push." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re talking about completing this in 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, it ll begin in 2021." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, it s a few years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s enough time, based on what we ve seen historically, to bring those prices down by 90% or more again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really have something that s doable and achievable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we did this, as you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We took the team." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve gone out to all the experts in the field." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We didn t just pick this out of the sky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, we know it s doable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a stretch?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is definitely a stretch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as we ve seen in so many X Prizes," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, people come through with breakthroughs when there s a timeline and when there s competition and when all these resources and minds are working at it simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the brilliance of what you ve created in XPRIZE, and I m so excited for us to launch it on a project that s so important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, brother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a pleasure to be working with you in so many ways, especially on this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll just say another part of this whole competition, for those of you listening, is for people to know this is possible and to know that it s coming, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at the end of the day, we create the future we desire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We envision it, we go create it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just like the idea of the Impossible Burger or Beyond Meat, those products didn t exist, you know, even three years ago, but today they re on menus around the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re moving at light speed and the rate at which technology is accelerating is itself accelerating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can use that acceleration to help feed a billion people and to help prevent this planet from environmental collapse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all need a compelling future and especially at a time like COVID when so many people have so much fear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I said earlier, life goes in seasons and we re in winter right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an emotional winter, it s a financial winter, but you know, winter doesn t last forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s followed by springtime and the best time to be prepared for spring is in winter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when it hits, you re ready to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like this is creating that kind of opening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can make" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember when I was just a kid, I think I was in something like the seventh grade, I had this teacher, one in this class, who was very resourceful and he started reading us an article and it was all about the world going dark." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is in the 70s when I was in school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was all about, you know, oil and the loss of oil." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, everyone had that on their mind at the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was on the cover of Time magazine, we re running out of oil." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the article was actually about whale oil." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was from a hundred years earlier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when he showed us the article, we all were like staggered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I never forgot it since I was a child, but he said necessity is the mother of invention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, we got necessity now with COVID because all the numbers I told you, like a billion people that are massively chronically malnourished, 9 million people dying, 24,000 a day, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "16 a second." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those numbers are about to explode according to the UN." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because our approach to COVID with these shutdowns, which now the WHO doesn t even support, they just came out and said they don t think it s a solution because the unintended consequences, not only the emotional ones, the uses of drugs, suicide, et cetera, but just the food supply." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re estimating now that instead of 135 million people they were concerned about, it ll be 250 million people that won t be able to find a meal because places like Tanzania, 80% of their income is tourism and we ve shut it down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not enough money for food." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to find an alternative and we ve got to find it quickly because the needs are growing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All this progress we ve made on poverty, we ve just taken a giant hit to that progress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people say 10, 20 years we ve lost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t believe it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe we can restore it back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in order to make that happen, we need real solutions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to put the focus of the best minds in the world and we ve all got to do what we can to support" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that progress as quickly as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And necessity is the mother of invention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We always find a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s humanity s strength." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m excited to be a part of this journey with you, Peter, and with the XPRIZE and with all the people that we re looking forward to welcoming and going on the journey with over the next three and a half, four years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, brother, thank you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for your philanthropy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for your guidance, your passion, your mission, your work that you do, even outside this to feed, you know, hundreds of millions of individuals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And let s get together on a next podcast, maybe, you know, six months and see how many teams have registered and give an update." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That d be great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Take care, brother." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everybody check out XPRIZE.org." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Learn about the prize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell your friends, your scientists, your crazy friends, let s get some people fed on this planet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This podcast comes from XPRIZE, a global future positive movement of over 1 million people and rising, delivering radical breakthroughs for the benefit of humanity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sign up to join us and support the movement that is making a change in the world 10 times faster." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whether it s lending a hand, a dollar or an idea, we all have a role to play in making the future a better place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only way to get the future we want is to create it ourselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Learn more at XPRIZE.org." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See you next week." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Welcome back to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We want to thank you for tuning in to listen to these fireside chats from Tony and his wife, Sage, as they share their own stories about this year that has brought so many challenges for everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We hope you find them to be helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you listened to the first episode, you heard how they encouraged us to find the blessing, to see the beauty in each moment, and to be the creator of your own emotional experiences." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What you re about to hear now is the second part of this three-part series, where they explain the next step, how to be a blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you ll learn how to make one small, simple shift in how you approach the holidays that will allow you to enjoy yourself so much more, and also open your heart and anchor your state of being in love and kindness so that you can be a blessing to those you love most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To watch the video version of this episode, go to TonyRobbins.com slash holiday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we hope you tune in in a few weeks for the next fireside chat from Tony and Sage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hello everyone, it s Sage Robbins back for fireside chat number two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We loved hearing from you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for just your outpouring of love and it was just beautiful to hear from you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s Tony here, and I m wondering if you did your homework." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you haven t seen the first one, I hope you do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remember, the homework was to find the blessing in the middle of COVID, not to just be positive thinky, but because you deserve to feel that no matter what happens in life, there is some positive meaning if we look for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it was time with family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it was your own growth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it was finding a new way to do your business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what it is, but there s something there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it was time for you to take care of your own health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you did the steps, the first step was find the blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second step was be a blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find a way to give to others, because that s what the Spirit of the Season is about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you be a blessing for others, you ll be blessed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But today, we thought we d do a shorter fireside chat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s funny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These were always supposed to be 10 minutes, by the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thanks for sticking with us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m going to attempt to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our theme today is, since the holidays are literally around the corner, we just want to see what would happen if this was the greatest holiday of your life in spite of COVID, in spite of politics, in spite of, you know, maybe the limitations and all the questions that you normally deal with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the holidays, like gifts and getting there and who s gonna host and all those things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now we gotta go, who can come or not?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we eat outside or inside?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we use the bathroom?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All these rules that are being added out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what if in spite of all that, you could make this the greatest holiday of your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we believe we can and we know you can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in order to do that, you gotta kinda come back to what s the purpose of the holiday and how do people think about the holidays normally?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know in the past there were times we ve had stress and there were times we ve enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was the difference?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know, I remember, maybe this was about four or five years ago, and I was gearing up, and it was right around this time, and getting ready for Christmas, and I was just so focused on the logistics of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so focused on the list, and trust me, it can still happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it took, I, not it, I took the joy out of the process of really giving, and the spirit of it, and I don t even mean just giving gifts, just being connected to the time to be together, and to celebrate together, and to connect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, I came to Tone and I was like, honey, I said, like, I just I caught myself because, you know, it s so easy to get down that rabbit hole sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just the experience is so much kinder and more beautiful than that when we come back home inside of ourselves and connect to the deeper meaning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, so many people, when they think about the holidays, their first experience is stress, and that was before COVID." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So add COVID, add politics, add all those things, and what happens is people are kind of expecting it to be stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course, whatever we focus on, where focus goes, energy flows, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, whatever we expect, we tend to find." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just a self-fulfilling prophecy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, maybe it s time to make a decision about the kind of holiday you wanna have, and the time you wanna have with your family up front, instead of waiting to see how it evolves, or worse," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anticipating all the challenges that are going to be there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t get me wrong, I know there s logistics and things to deal with, but we can have those experiences." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re looking forward to something, those logistics are part of an excitement and anticipation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, what are the holidays about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, they re really about wrapping up the year and breaking our pattern of day-to-day work" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and really reconnecting to what we re grateful for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, Thanksgiving, as an example, is supposed to be about giving thanks, but some of us think it s about having an impossible turkey or a regular turkey or managing so many details." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to have that, you got to ask yourself what gets in the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now in our society, there are two emotions that are pretty dominant, fear and anger." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are people that are really fearful and there are people that are angry that they re fearful because they feel like they don t understand what s really going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are people that are fearful of angry people because they think they re angry about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s making all this happen is a set of rules." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t mean rules as a hot topic right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we all have rules, but now some rules are being imposed upon you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many people can come to your dinner if you re in California?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can only be with your family two hours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have some friends in New York that called me and they re like, what is this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s saying it s science, but I can t go to my favorite restaurant after 10 p.m.?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They said, where is COVID at 7, 8, 9 p.m.?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it just suddenly shows up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It isn t science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether you like the rules or not, there are rules out there and we have to figure out how to deal with those rules, but the ones that bother us more than the ones even trying to be imposed upon us, and some of them are probably extremely useful in some areas, the real ones are the ones we have inside of ourselves that we don t even realize are controlling us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look, from the time you re born to about seven years old, everybody has different estimates," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re basically, your unconscious is recording things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re taking in and recording things and they still affect you decades later when you re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years old or more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so rules are just these unquestioned beliefs about how things are supposed to be or how people are supposed to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so much of our stress comes because we think our mother shouldn t be worried." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was talking to my dearest friends recently and she was telling me how worried she was that her mother s gonna be worried during the holidays because she s in her 80s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, do you hear what you re saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re worried she s gonna be worried." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what s true, she s gonna be worried." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s her way of expressing love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t want her to be the way she s gonna be, you re adding stress to yourself and stress to her and you re no longer connected." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, there s so many, what are the types of things that show up at the holidays that people like don t look forward to when they get together with family?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think just, you know, as we talked about the logistics or dynamics of human beings, I remember the first time that Tony came home with my family and my family, we re not Italian, but we are kind of like a big Italian family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re loud and playful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody s talking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I d be talking to somebody in my family, you listen, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you give attention." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s part of how you re expecting to love somebody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So somebody s talking to two of us and all of a sudden one of them just checks out and starts talking across the table to somebody else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, I couldn t even concentrate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, honey, is everybody happy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, yeah, this is the way we are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had to change my rules to chaos is joy at some level, or this is how they do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m gonna be talking to somebody and then just suddenly talk to someone else and leave that conversation in the middle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of our stress is how we ve been raised or how we ve been programmed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was going to say exactly what he just did right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it so much because we talk over each other all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what was so beautiful is it was like a meeting of worlds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of those worlds were different belief systems and rules." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s so beautiful about my family is there s laughter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds like we re yelling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody is talking all over each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s a playfulness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a playfulness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it all fits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s your mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mama, yeah, for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your mama makes the entire atmosphere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s just no right or wrong way to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t know whether I ll be going home this year for Christmas, due to just with crossing the border in Canada and so forth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I can still, in this moment, close my eyes and hear my mommy s laughter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the rule to choose to bring your heart and to bring your state of being and your love, it changes completely everything because then it s just like that s your guiding force, that s your guiding light." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a game changer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a game changer in your inner world because then we literally get to be a blessing to those that we love most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember I watched a CNN program one time, it was a piece of CNN that was done on this double mint commercial, double mint chewing gum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they usually have twins that they do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they did this little commercial and it was for families with quintuplets, had five children at once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you saw these parents, they were so stressed out trying to keep all five kids doing something for the commercial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s this one man, and I knew he couldn t be as old as he looked, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because he just, he looked completely worn down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was balding and stressed out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember them interviewing him, and they asked him, he said, do you have any advice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what did you learn by having five children simultaneously?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he looked at the camera and said, don t have too many rules." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because with this many kids, somebody s always breaking one, and I m always stressed out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s true here, because we have these expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people are not going to meet your expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you expect your mom not to ask you about your weight, is it up or down, or your relationship, or someone else, is this person drinking too much?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, all the dramas that people have, because they expect people to be different than they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of, it s like, you ve got to ask yourself, do you want to be right, or do you want to be in love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to be right, or do you want to have a beautiful holiday?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And love doesn t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "accepts people as they are, as their evolving role, evolving and changing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we can let go of some of that, that let go creates an opening for people to connect and have the joy that they really deserve to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have to cultivate that gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because think of it, fear and anger, they re the dominant forces in our culture right now, obviously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t be fearful and grateful simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the power of gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can really connect all the people in your family and what you re grateful about them, not all your judgments, but what you re grateful, or the fact that you can be together at all, or by Zoom, or by whatever, gratitude destroys fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And gratitude destroys the other thing that messes up our life, which is anger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t get me wrong, we all get angry, we always get fearful, all of us do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you go into gratitude, you re not going to be angry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t be angry and grateful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t go together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So finding the things you re grateful for, again, finding the blessing, that same theme, and then becoming the blessing to the people around you by having fewer rules and having a commitment to greater joy is really what we re encouraging you to consider." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, as I mentioned, my family, my mom and dad always had, you know, just every, they re in AA." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so anybody that didn t have a home to go to, you know, my mom was always like, come on over to our house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what was so beautiful, there was just a diversity, a diversity with our family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, strangers a lot of times that we d never met before, but, you know, we welcomed them in as family and it was such a beautiful... I didn t realize as a younger woman what a blessing that was of inclusiveness and understanding and compassion and willingness to invite these people in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it just shaped me so massively, those principles early on in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My parents as well, you know, we fostered children." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I was just raised with different, you know, cultures and different races and different, you know, just experiences of life and different religions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all these individuals came into our life and it ended up being a blessing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, there s so much externally in the world right now of divisiveness or, you know, people fighting for what they believe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or politics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who were you talking to the other day, you re telling me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh yes, a very dear friend of mine, she s 84, and I called her and she was whispering, she was like, hello." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I called her mom and I said, Mom Bee, I said, what are you whispering?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like, I m watching the news and I don t want to tell anybody what news channel I m watching." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as much as it was delightful and it touched my heart and I thought it was precious, it so struck me that we as human beings, even amongst our own families, would feel that, gosh, you know, we can t share what our own inner world is, what our experience is, what our beliefs are, what we feel pulled to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes us beautiful as human beings is our differences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all get to bring different things to the table." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when we do that, we see parts of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we become more whole because of the other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not one person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t have all the answers, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And loving this man, loving my family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like it opens our mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all behave and relate to life differently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that s the beautiful thing of the human experiences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It isn t that we are all the same." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is actually our differences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s really focusing on what we have in common instead of what s different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard these days to have a discussion about something political or religious or anything of that nature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People get so frustrated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so maybe it s best to steer towards what you do love and leave the external world away so you can really have that beautiful holiday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me offer you, just real quick, a little tool that I created for myself years ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve helped so many people with it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got a funny name." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s called a quality quantifier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here s what it s based on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people never decide in advance what kind of experience they re going to have before they engage in something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re going to go for a run, if you re going to go visit with your family, if you re going to go to a business meeting, if you re going to visit with your brother or your sister, whatever the case may be, I decided early on that instead of just letting life show up, life is still going to show up, but wouldn t it be nice to decide how you want it to be instead of just hoping things work out?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so one day it started with me with running." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was running all the time, and I was actually flying to Hawaii, and I gotta get myself on the time zone, so I ve gotta go on a run, and I didn t feel like running." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was all stressed out, so I stopped for a second." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought, you know, I ve been running so hard for so long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can I enjoy this run, like really enjoy, like be euphoric in this run?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, first of all, when I think about the run, where would I put it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my first step, zero to 10." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like if it was a minus 10 to a plus 10, it feels like a minus one right now to go on a run." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m exhausted, I m beat up, but I know I gotta do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of having to do it, what if I decided the experience is gonna happen in advance and then made it happen?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want a great experience, I want a beautiful experience, I want an enjoyable experience, I want a euphoric experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I said, you know, most people don t decide in advance the quality experience they re gonna have and they don t quantify it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why it s called quality quantifier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, okay, I wanna have an experience of running at least at a nine on a zero to 10, maybe a 10." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right then it was, you know, maybe a two or a minus two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure which it really was at the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I said, okay, right now when I think about it, it s a two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want it to be a nine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What qualities would I need to experience myself to make that a nine?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, well, what if I brought some music?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, instead of just gutting it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, what music will I bring?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would I really enjoy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, what s my route?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll run along the ocean, even if it s a little bit more difficult run." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll enjoy it more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was like, well, what if I take a friend with me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I got excited about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, what if we ran?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I told him, I said, what would make it a really cool run for you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, well, sometimes you and I don t run with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, you go blasting ahead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get really intense and just go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he goes, I wanna stay at a normal tempo." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, well, what if we went at the same tempo" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for the first 35 minutes, and that last, let s say, two minutes, three minutes, we run as hard as we can, we re competitive as hell, and we feel our bodies fully alive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, turn the music up during that time then, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we put this little list together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did it for myself, he did it for him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, what would make this a night?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of it, I did everything I planned out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also had to decide to change my belief that this isn t just about I have to do it, it s I get to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, so many times I have to, have to, and we tell ourselves that, and then it becomes stressful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, I get to go on a run, I get to go with my friend, I get to run along the ocean, I get to put on my favorite music, we get to run in unison, it felt really cool, and then we re gonna sprint and compete at the end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end, it was like, I asked myself honestly, it was more than that, it was a 9.5, so what would make it a 10 next time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we made some more adjustments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started doing that with all kinds of things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was this little boy that I was working with," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was overeating all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I came in, and I used it with food, because also, it s a way of changing your desire for something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can increase it or decrease it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I said to him, I said, I said, that muffin there, how much do you want that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Zero to 10." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Minus 10, you don t want it at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plus 10, you want it totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, eh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, it s like about a four." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, why is it a four?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, well, he goes, it s been sitting there a while." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, OK, well, let s make you want it less." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would make you want it less?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would you have to change in what you focus on or notice or appreciate or in the environment?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, well, I notice it s really dry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what is it now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he took the number down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember what the number was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say it was a four and he brought it down to, it was like a two or a one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what would make it a minus two?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, if I notice the grease on the side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, I can see there s like grease on the side, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, what would make it a minus five?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, I don t want to make it a minus five." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, well, what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, well, you know, if there was some, you know, some hardened butter beside it or something, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I took him all the way through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, okay, now let s increase your desire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do you want it to be?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, I want it to be a nine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want it to be a 10." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, okay, what do we gotta do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what would make it a plus six?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he goes, well, if I heated it up, it d be a plus seven." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, okay, what else?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, if we melted the butter, that d be a plus eight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What else?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He goes, if I had like that soda pop over there with it, it s a plus nine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I said, okay, what if that thing is stale?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we played literally seeing how we could change his emotions by changing the conditions in himself, his expectations or beliefs, and the conditions in the environment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what sounds funny about food" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or about running, it s the same with your family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my question would be, what s your current thought when you think about your holiday coming up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it stress?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it frustration?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are some of the qualities?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where would you say you are minus 10 to plus 10?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re a plus five or six, maybe even a plus seven." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would it take to make it a plus eight or a nine or a ten?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want it to be?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to settle for less than a nine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what would make it a nine?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, maybe when I m flying there, I can think about some of the stories and write down some of the things I want to share or some of the questions I want to know from my sister or what I want to compliment sincerely my mom about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you start making this or I want to put some special music on and you can literally" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quantify and qualify what will make this holiday amazing both what you do shift in my own mind Like I m not gonna react to anybody s over drinking or somebody ask my questions are gonna do that They re gonna be worried, but I m gonna look at it as love you decide what you want and then you decide the plan of what s gonna change in you or the environment to make it happen and This incredible soul here my woman here My lady my wife is just unbelievable in creating that like we try I call it scoring" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, I could watch a film without the music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not the same film." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to score it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we score our lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t you share some of what you do here, like, not just in the holiday time, but all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I think it s beautiful in our homes that, you know, to make it our sanctuary," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, Pandora is such a gift or whatever Spotify, whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But, you know, we have the gift to have this beautiful music of this intuitive, you know, you get to, you know, use your preferences and so forth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we literally have music and binarial beats and so forth that create a coherence and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you walk in a lot to our home a lot of people be like what is that music it s not music but it s just it s this container that fills the home with this beautiful harmony and you know i i love to light candles or incense and it s just the intentional i think you know what s so unique about the holidays whether you re a religious person you re not or you re spiritual you re not there s still a sacredness and you know to uh" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "whether it be the holidays or just every day, the awareness that this life is a miracle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I think part of some of the external world events is calling us to wake up and calling us to wake up to the preciousness of this life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are alive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a miracle in itself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for us in our home, besides all the things that we do with music and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, or candles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Incense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like anybody walks around, they go, what is that smell?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is that sound?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we don t just do the holidays, or I say we, here s who does the majority of it here, is that we create an ambiance, so the environment itself, an atmosphere makes you in a sense of awe, or appreciation, or gratitude, or love, or just take a breath when you come home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you certainly want to do that for your holidays, but maybe you want to do it all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you want to score your life more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And scoring just requires awakening from your day-to-day stress and saying, how do I want it to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not, why isn t it the way I want it to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I want it to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what do I got to change in me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "instead of my judgments of these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I need to appreciate more?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I need to notice in my family or my friends or whatever?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I gonna decide to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you don t decide, the world will just take you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stress will just take you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we all have a world where we ve been pretty much wired, where we have a highway to stress and a dirt road to happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe the holiday is a chance for you to rewire yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the more you put yourself in these beautiful states of mind and emotion and gratitude and awe and appreciation and love," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the more it becomes addictive in a positive way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you got a highway to joy, a highway to love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the best way to do it is where it s hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how do you build a muscle?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t build a muscle by lifting a lightweight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if it s a bit challenging this holiday season, take away the challenge and find the gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we mean by find the blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then be the blessing is, what if you decided to show up in advance and it s like, I m gonna love my mom while she s worried completely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not gonna have any reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna, my sister asked me about my boyfriend or girlfriend, I m married or not, or we re having kids or not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get hooked by it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to see, like, everybody s just curious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m going to be there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What presence are you going to have?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t mean physical presence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your presence going to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your presence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listening, caring, loving." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are gifts that are priceless and they cost you nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you be that blessing, if you find the blessing, you be the blessing, you will have a blessed holiday and a blessed life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "yes and the a simple practice of you know speaking of gratitude uh you know if you re prayerful it s beautiful i think the simplest prayer is just to say thank you a lot of times for thanksgiving as a family we ll go around and it s just we ll just share what was literally a blessing during the year or what we re thankful for uh it can be as simple as our health or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you know, just a moment or whatever it looks like, you know, but it s really beautiful because it s like the mind s just focusing on that and, you know, somebody else will share, they ll share something else and it s just, it s expanding, it s heart expanding and it s a beautiful practice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by the way, we do that every day of our lives, you know, if we re sitting down and we re coming together as a family for breakfast, we just hold hands and we just literally say, thank you, thank you for this day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for this family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for this life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it sets the tone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s one thing to say, oh, I m grateful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I give you something, and you say thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But to actually invoke that, and to actually put your attention in that, and to share that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the sharing that, when a family, it s such a cool thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I always look forward to a Thanksgiving dinner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because we all just go around, and it s just this really intimate, beautiful love letter of life that just everybody actually takes the time to say, oh, I got another one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, I remember this one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And just everybody just sharing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It creates a momentum of itself, too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It really does, but it s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so whether you re together, whether you re on Zoom, whether you re alone, you know, whether you re on your own, you can still pull out a piece of paper and just journal what s been blessed in your life, you know, what you re grateful for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just, you know, this very simple fact that, you know, we re here and you re watching this and we re alive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Life is a miracle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s just no matter what s happening in the external circumstances, there s just" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "truly so much to be grateful for and we re grateful that you joined us once again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Really, we ve loved the sharing and it s been fun for us as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s our invitation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t settle for a mediocre, a stressful, a frustrating Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or Kwanzaa, or whatever you re celebrating during this holiday season, whatever your faith may be, or whatever your just personal rituals may be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not make it the best one ever?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not decide to make it best?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come up with a plan, and then it ll be interrupted, of course, because we all have 10 million year old brains that are designed to look for what s wrong and then react to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s your conditioning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then there s the higher awakened part of you that can show up and just bring love and appreciation and gratitude to everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And boy, don t we all need that right now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a relationship, the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a relationship, it s not a place to go get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the mistake most of us make." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a place to go give." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you give love, when you give appreciation, when you give gratitude, you re filled up because you re feeling it as you re giving to someone and you don t have to receive anything in return." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you already experience it within yourself, but it also tends to prime the environment for something beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we always say, you know, we all have expectations, but that s the mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The heart knows something better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So trade your expectations for just appreciation for whatever you have, even if it s less than you thought or want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Appreciation makes suffering disappear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Appreciation is the guide to thanksgiving, to joy, to love, and to the quality of life that you deserve and I know you desire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by chance, if you do get hooked and you are stressed, I ll share something I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If I m feeling tension or that resistance inside myself, I ll just bring my awareness to this moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Literally, in how I do that, I ll just notice my breath." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll just catch a few breaths, and I ll notice my breath in and out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then I just notice what I wasn t seeing the moment before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just open my eyes and my ears and I just notice the senses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And no matter what is happening externally, no matter what s happening on the news, no matter what s happening out there, just where you are, you know, it might be as simple as something as like the sunbeams coming in or just laughter that you didn t hear in that moment or, you know, whatever is in front of you, just simply notice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and start with your breath first and then just open your senses and come back to the moment because that s where all the beauty is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s where all the richness is and it really is a useful practice for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So thank you once again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God bless you all and thank you for joining us and happy holidays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just remember, what s wrong is always available, but so is what s right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get what we look for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re unfamiliar with it, you might want to check out our priming video." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no charge for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go to TonyRobbins.com forward slash priming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it shows you a 10-minute process you can do to get all the stress out and fill up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of us overreact because we stack all the negatives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happened again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you stack all the positives, this life is such a gift no matter how much challenge we re all facing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all facing challenges." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not about denying that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about creating a place that you can have awe and you can have gratitude and you can have joy and you can have love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a chance for you to take these holidays and fill back up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and then if you like it enough during the holidays, perhaps you ll make it your New Year s resolution that you actually keep to do it more and more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks for joining us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how long this went, but hopefully it was brief enough for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Not 10 minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blessings to you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Take care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hello, Tony Robbins family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are so excited that you were able to join us for Fireside Chat number two with Tony and Sage Robbins." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you enjoy that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do not go anywhere for the next few minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to spend some time going over how you can apply what you just learned with Tony and Sage in your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the major lesson that we got today is that we can actually become the architect of our holiday experience and create the experience that we desire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "by using a tool just as simple as the quality quantifier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Tony just shared that with you a moment ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you do this, you re designing, what do I want this holiday season to be like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we hope you recognize that you can think your way in to an experience that s going to be a blessing for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the overall theme of our holiday campaign." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s find the blessings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be a blessing and experience the blessings in your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So really quick, if you re taking notes or if you re not, go ahead and just write down the words, it takes practice to find the blessing, to experience the blessings, to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to live out the blessings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to practice doing that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a few questions that Tony wants us to ask you right now for you in your own life to apply these lessons to your life is this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think, is it possible in any way that you could step outside of your own stress this holiday season?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Despite all the craziness going on, is it possible?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the next question is, what would make this holiday season more enjoyable for you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even Sage shared with us earlier, sometimes she catches herself in her head." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when she does that, she just takes a step back and focuses on getting present, finding her breath, tapping into the senses that she has." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she says, that s when you really experience the beauty and the richness of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re in that space of presence and gratitude, he talks about that in the video, that s when you find those blessings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So are you up for finding some blessings this holiday season?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As Tony would say, say yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are we gonna do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to practice consistently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So practice is the theme here today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Practice is something that you do ongoing over and over." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony always says, if you wanna direct your life, you must take control of the consistent actions that you put in play every single day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you do that, you re building the muscle" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of being more present or of finding those blessings or whatever it is that you desire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re going to do this and you re really committed to doing this thing, there s one thing that you must have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to know what the one thing is?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a map or a massive action plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you going to get from where you are to where you want to go?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now there s one key element." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can create this massive action plan, which we hope you do that today, and go share that with us, or tag Tony." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we can look at it, but you have a massive action plan, but how are you actually gonna get yourself where you wanna go?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wanna be strategic about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the great way to be strategic about it is to get yourself" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "accountability toward your consistent actions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there someone in your life right now that you can think of and say, yes, that somebody is someone that can be an accountability partner to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also gotta be someone that can guide you through your massive action plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So take a moment right now and think, do I have someone in my life that I know will push me, will hold me accountable, but can also act as a guide to take their hand out and carry me in the direction that I know I desire to go?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is what we call in our world a coach." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony invented the coaching industry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody has coaches." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think, you know, Olympic athletes, high-powered CEOs and entrepreneurs, even Tony Robbins has many coaches." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can get a coach for pretty much any area of your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re right now watching this and you re a business owner, yes, you can get a coach for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about relationships?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could you get a coach for that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about your physical body, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about your spirituality?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could you get a coach for those areas of your life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The answer is yes, but you don t wanna get just any coach." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want someone that can support you and can push you, not someone that s just gonna be your friend, but somebody that can see potential inside of you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this holiday season, get yourself a coach, find your massive action plan, commit to yourself to being the blessing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The greatest coaches in the world that I know, and maybe I m biased, but there are coaches at the Tony Robbins Company, and if you haven t taken a look at our bundles for the holiday and all of the great bonuses that are included," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go check that out because our coaches go through extensive training, a 90-day training academy that teaches them the proprietary tools that Tony s been using for the last 43 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His top coaches, hand-selected, and these coaches are going to help you get from where you are to where you want to go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I hope you get yourself matched with one of our coaches to your specific needs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can go to tonyr.co forward slash coaching to learn more about coaching, how it will support you to have a powerful end of your 2020 and a really powerful start to 2021." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My favorite part about this is that during the holiday season, you can actually get a few sessions to give away to friends and family in your life, and that is a gift that keeps on giving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re so happy you could join us at Fireside Chat number two." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love you, and we can t wait to see you at the next one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye-bye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is part of a special series of fireside chats that Tony and Sage Robbins created just for the holiday season to share key messages of support during this unique time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To watch the video of this episode, go to TonyRobbins.com slash holiday and check back there and here on the podcast for future episodes coming soon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hello there, everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s Sage and Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nice to see you all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, we want to be a blessing to you in this season during a time of such uncertainty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we just thought we d share from our experience what s been happening and find out if there s some ways in which you can take this time that we have here, this COVID time, this time of uncertainty and fear and a lot of frustration and anger, and see if we can t convert it into something that s helpful for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, definitely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And just from our home and hearts to yours, you know, we ve all been navigating such a unique time of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for our own selves, individually and collectively, there s just been such a tremendous amount of growth and insight and just learning through this time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so we thought that we d share some of our own experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s kind of like a fireside chat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The last time our country was in this kind of shape was probably in the 30s and 40s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we had an amazing leader then called FDR who had these fireside chats." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "90% of the country had a radio at that time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, 96% of people have a cell phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And instead of being unified and watching all the same things and having a collective experience, now we re all kind of separated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can see it in division in our culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, of course, now with that fear and that uncertainty, it s being magnified by social media without bad intent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you ve seen something like The Social Dilemma, or if you ve read any of the books about what actually happens today," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Social media actually reinforces us to believe the things we already believe and kind of demonize the opposite, because the longer they keep us online, the more money that s being made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we thought, you know, maybe we can punch through together and just take a few minutes and consider some simple things that could perhaps help us get rid of some of the pain, because we re desperately needing some form of unity, some form of connection, so much more humanity, some kindness in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we thought maybe our conversation, maybe we have a couple of real brief conversations with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And hopefully they ve been helpful for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ve been helpful for us and for our family as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a way to think about this is that everyone s brought to their knees by COVID, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unless you re selling toilet paper or you re Amazon, you probably have had a pretty rough time there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have kids that are at home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re trying to take care of our kids and be teachers and run our lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And many of us have been separated from our mission and our work in some ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re in a place where if we have" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "family, which we do that are in their 70s or 80s, very often what happens is those people have been separated out and can t even be next to them or connect to them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a wild time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Never did we ever dream in a million years back in February, we were all together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had my wife produced an unbelievable 60th birthday party and we used it" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to really serve and raised, at the time, $19 million for Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, we were in this flow about to do our big event as usual, and somebody called me up and I couldn t even believe it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They said, are you going to cancel the Unleash the Power Then event in San Francisco, which is like five days later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, are you kidding me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve never canceled an event." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Last year, I had mercury poisoning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They rushed me to the hospital, and I told the doctor, I m leaving the hospital, I ve got to finish the seminar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I did it in a wheelchair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So who could have guessed that the government around the world would suddenly stop us from being able to connect?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s had an effect on everybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the effect has been deeper than just COVID." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know if you ve seen, but the United Nations is now talking about there s a doubling of hunger around the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s 250 million people that will likely die of hunger because there are many countries that they rely upon tourism for 50, 60, 70, some of them 80% of their money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t have money for food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In our own country, the lockdowns have had an impact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that impact is not just the separation of us and the fear that s happened there, but right now we re seeing people all over the world, all over the United States at least," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Turning to drugs and alcohol like never before the overdoses in Oregon just in the first few months were up 70% from drug overdoses to give you perspective or You know an unbelievable number of people with opioid overuse once again there s I read in Journal American Medical Association USA Today did an article on it showing that women today are" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are binge drinking 41% more than they ever have to try to cope with things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, to me, the scariest one of all, maybe, or at least up there with the hunger, is one out of four young people, again, according to the CDC," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "has considered suicide in the last three months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What that says is we don t have a compelling future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, when things are great, people think they re gonna be great forever, and they don t prepare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when things are bad, human beings think it s gonna be bad forever, and it s just not true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Life is cyclical, and history is cyclical if you study it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, what always follows the night, thank God, is the daytime, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What follows, you know, winter is a spring, and we re in winter, and it s not gonna just disappear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I thought maybe we could plant some seeds about the process, because anytime we go through loss, a death, or a family issue, or maybe loss of a job or career, we re all going to experience extreme stress in our life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nobody escapes it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care how smart you are, how heartfelt you are, how spiritual, how much money you have, how intelligent you think you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all are going to experience this extreme stress outside of COVID." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to happen in our lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have family members that are diagnosed" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a debilitating disease, or in some cases, telling them that they re terminal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have experiences of losing jobs, of losing businesses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have all these things happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have crimes that occur." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Aren t you glad you tuned into this happy moment?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I want to get is, when we go through those times, if we can make it through them, and we can," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Three things happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number one, you start to realize when you experience severe stress and you push through it, you begin to realize how strong you really are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is something you take into the next year or the next decade, the next stage of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it makes everything richer where you can help others and help yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you can push through those incredibly tough times, the other thing that you discover is who are your real friends?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, when it s the tough times, you know, you get to see who sticks around and who takes off, who s there to support, who s just into themselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then third thing that you learn when you go through extreme stress is you really start to develop almost like a protection." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like people I know, I have a friend that was in Vietnam, you know, decades and decades ago, was locked in a Vietnamese prison where he was abused over and over again, tied to the ground, beat for seven years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We came back and nothing bothers him now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the IRS is coming after him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll give you your best shot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If the North Korean and the Vietnamese can t get me, then you re not going to be able to get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a power in going through stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the goal is to learn how to use stress instead of let stress use you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so one way to help you do that is I m sure you ve heard that when people go through a major loss, there is kind of a pattern, like say the loss of death, loss of a business, loss of anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first stage almost always is that stage of like shock." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, what came to us was like, suddenly we can t help people the time they need us most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And every country started shutting us down, all over the United States, and Moscow, and London, and Sydney, Australia, and Amsterdam, down in Peru." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Suddenly everything was canceled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first response was just shock." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, this can t be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the second stage we tend to go through after the shock wears off is, you know, this anger or frustration, like, not like, it s impossible, it s not just shock, it can t be, there s this feeling inside of us that it s not right, it s not fair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And of course, life isn t fair all the time, obviously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be more than fair at times, and other times, not so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the eyes of us as the beholder, looking in the moment instead of the long-term of what it means." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then after you go through that, there s usually a period of deep sadness that comes from loss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people get depressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people, by the way, get stuck in these stages for a long time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you can get over the shock, and if you can get over the anger, and you can experience some of the loss and feel it, then eventually you ll get to a point where you start to bargain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, okay, what if I do this, God, will you do that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or, you know, you think about in your life or your business, it s just like, it s still trying to make the old come back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the old really doesn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what we eventually have to do is get to acceptance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I m an achiever like you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My guess is your acceptance, it s not right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not gonna accept it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I don t accept what it s right, but I accept that it is and therefore we have to deal with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you get to acceptance, there is a release of pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most people don t even make it there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They stay in pain so long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you make it there, I think there s a sixth step that no one talks about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the step of creation, which is why we re here today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, if you can let go of the past and not try to reignite and create the same thing, we can never be better than it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in order to make it better, we got to let go of what was so we can brand new create what is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for us, you know, instead of sitting there and saying, oh my God, we can t help anybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, we kept trying different things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We kept moving dates." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We d call governors and say, you know, when s the date we can really count on?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they d tell us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, of course, things changed and the dates didn t work and kept changing and changing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was like, OK." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to do this in movie theaters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll do 1,000 movie theaters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You remember, I was excited." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big screens, and won t be in person, but it ll be smaller groups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll reach everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll help them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they shut down movie theaters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we ll go to churches, and they shut down churches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then, you know, we can go anywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could only be 10 people with masks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I finally said the thing I said I d never do is do this in people s homes because, you know, you go to an event, if you ve ever been to an event, it s like a rock and roll concert for 12, 14 hours a day for three or four days in a row." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you going to do that in somebody s home with some, you know, little computer?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to do some, you know, old man s, you know, kind of webinar or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we went to the creation stage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We said, okay, we have to help people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is our mission." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we started to create." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I m hoping you re about to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re not, if you can see what stage you re in, are you in the stage of acceptance yet?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you gone through the shock and have you gone through the anger and the sadness and have you stopped bargaining?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you accepted?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I may not appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might not even agree with what people have done, but it is what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s what I m going to do now with it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the moment when life can change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the moment when you have to pivot or find a new way or explore new options or move on to something new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started looking around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go ahead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just because a lot of times at that time, it s, you know, the grief comes from the loss of what was, you know, and the acceptance comes from the recognition of what is, you know, and creation comes from the place of recognizing what we actually can do, how we can touch life deeper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of times, you know, I was thinking of our own inner dialogue or my own inner dialogue, like Tony had mentioned, will we ever be able to, you know, serve again?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Will we ever be able to do a live event again?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, you have these internal narratives, but it s through that place of acceptance of what is, there sparks the, you know, when something dies, there s also the birth of the new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of times when we re only focused here, this way, that direction on what was and what can never be again, it doesn t- Or what was missing versus what you have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the fear of the future of, oh my gosh, what if this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Rather than just this moment of recognizing what is and seeing how we can connect to life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in that place of creation, there s conviction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In that place of conviction, there s determination." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s unity of a team coming together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think of this time as much as it was painful and uncomfortable and uncertain, there was beauty in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was beauty in it because of the willing hearts to not give up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and to see it through and to see the birth of something new, rather than just keeping the focus on the death of what was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And trust me, we were there, you know, and in all the uncertainties of what does this mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s also, you know, what does this mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a higher meaning and finding the gift in it, finding the blessing in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s part of why we re here today to just share some of our own, just gifts and blessings from this whole process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that if you think about it as so many people have gotten caught up in making a living that they don t design their life, and now the life they had is not there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t really design it anyway, but there s this sense of what I m missing instead of this is the moment to recreate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like I always tell people we re not managers of our circumstances." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re the creator of our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been given that gift by our creator, by the universe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s what we did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We said, okay, what did I say I would never do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s one of the things I teach people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, if you really want to achieve what you really want, you got to write down everything you wouldn t be willing to do to achieve it, and then look at each one and go, I m willing to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you probably won t have to do them all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that willingness to do whatever it takes will free you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll get you out of the box." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll allow you to become the creator instead of the manager of the circumstances." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So long story short, I won t tell you the whole story, but I said, okay, we re going to do these in homes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to do it this way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m looking for any avenue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went to this one organization and they said, well, we ll show you how you can do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they had like six 52 inch little screens on this little square." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, this is not a stadium." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not going to, people aren t going to feel this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I took out a tape recorder with my team and I said, here s what we re going to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to find a building with like 40 foot high ceilings and I ll build a 16 foot high, 50 foot wide curved, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "LED walls that have like, I wanna make it so that it s the same quality as looking at your phone so we can really see and feel each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanna see 180 degrees in front of me and behind me so I can see at least 3,000 people at a time and swipe in the next 3,000." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanna be able to call them in and look and have a conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna, where are they on the world?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanna have these devices." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So by the time I was done in the creating mode, it was like, there was no more pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it s how do you do it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone said it couldn t be done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I put six organizations together, and I said, we re going to do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they said, this will take six months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, we ve got nine weeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we decided we d do an event for people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we did a free event for 400,000 people for a week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we started figuring out how we re going to use this technology even more effectively." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we did our first Unleash the Power Within virtual one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some ways, I mean, if you read the social media, some people like it better than the live one because we re right there with you, in your living room, with your family, with your kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t even describe what it s like to see people from 139 countries playing full out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re all in different time zones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just all of us coming together as family and support and kindness and watching kids getting involved and watching, I watched this one man, I ll never forget this Indian man, we were in India, obviously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Turbin and everything else, and he s clearly upset with his wife, had commandeered the big screen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And within a few hours, he s dancing with her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we did wood breaking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He ended up doing the wood breaking and participating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s actually become a new way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re actually reaching more people now than before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve done five events." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the average event, we ve had as high as 30,000." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The small events have been 12,500 people all over the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what I love about the experience now is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no limit to helping people when they need it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we translated eight languages simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So COVID has opportunities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know we don t want to think about it that way, but we have to, otherwise you just got to live in pain, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to be able to extend whatever you re doing and deliver to whole new levels of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s what we really want to say to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quality of your life is where you live emotionally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the one thing you have total control over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you say, how do I control?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel, I feel like hell, I feel sad, I feel overwhelmed, I feel stressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand, but all those feelings come from meanings." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, is this the end or the beginning?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you think it s the end of a relationship, you re gonna behave very differently if you think it s the beginning of a relationship, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this the end?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you being punished by God?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this a challenge from God?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is this whole situation a gift from God?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it not God at all?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s our job to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the meanings determine how we feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you think someone s disrespecting you, you re gonna feel really different than if you think they re challenging you or coaching you or loving on you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the power, the one power we have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you really wanna be inspired during this time and you re having a real rough time, go pick up Man s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "one of the classic books of all time, and here s a man who literally was captured, put in Auschwitz, witnessed his family being taken from him, murdered, survived all that, but what he learned to do was create what he called, what we call a compelling future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He came up with enough reasons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His belief was you can take my clothes, you can take my food, but you can never take away my ability to have the freedom to think and feel what I want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can do that in the middle of Auschwitz, you and I can do it wherever we are in the world during this difficult time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s a whole generation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We call them the great generation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they faced the biggest challenges people could imagine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life as they knew it looked like it could be extinguished by Hitler." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet that generation rose to the occasion, and we have that opportunity now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, we don t usually grow unless we have to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people grow because that s their way of being." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if we want to go to the next level, we ve got to take this challenge on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, the other day I was talking to my father and my dad s a man of few words and normally, and this is actually our first holiday season that we won t be together as a family just due to the border closures." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My parents live up in Canada." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so at the beginning, there was just a moment of frustration and we were both venting a bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, pops, I miss you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s like, I miss you too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, dad, I said like, what s been a gift for you and mom during COVID and during this time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, you know, he thought about it and he s like, you know, he s like, we ve slowed down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, many times your mom and I will just sit on the patio and we ll watch the clouds goes by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He says, I have more pictures of clouds than I ever have in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, you know, dad, I said, I can relate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, you know, many times I said, if we re having breakfast outside, we ll just linger that much longer, you know, or if we re saying grace, we ll hold each other s hands and feel the breeze on our face or watch the birds, like just simple things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our pup like playing in the water or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s just this sweet moment of exchange." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And here my mind at the beginning of the conversation was looking at, you know, what couldn t be or how I couldn t be with my father." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of a sudden my dad was sharing just the beauty of his state of being and the connection that my mom and daddy have had, you know, over these last number of months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, you know, my whole life I ve been pushing and I ve been going and, you know, feeling so responsible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, this is force of the hand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s like, your mom and I, you know, sometimes we ll just sit and, you know, watch the dogs outside and hold hands." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as he was telling me this, I was looking outside the window and there was clouds going by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just felt so incredibly dearly close to my father in that moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it just so demonstrated and proved that there s no distance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no nothing that can separate us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we re truly connected in oneness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I experienced that state with my father the other day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just like two days ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hung up and I was like, gosh, you know, if it wasn t for COVID, I wouldn t have shared such an intimate moment with my father and experience a different state in my dad, you know, just at this stage of his life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And him recognize that I felt that beauty inside of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hung up the phone and I went and shared it with my family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, it just became just a just all day, you know, just that night, just like looking at all the blessings and all the gifts and actually the gift of slowing down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though there was both perspectives, we slowed down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then contextually, when we started to create, we had to speed back up again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just that spaciousness of being home, you know, home has such a different definition now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s our home, it s our sanctuary, it s our place of work, it s our place of prayer, it s our place of play." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s just become this, I don t know, it s a different life for us all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, for myself, when I stopped resisting what I thought should be different, I really started to be blessed with just experiencing that grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that moment in exchange with my daddy the other day was as dear as any moment I ve ever shared with him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re not going to be together this Christmas, but that moment felt like Christmas to me, so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s beautiful, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to conclude, let s offer you three steps of some action if you want, if you want to take these principles and apply them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First, just remember the principle of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s time to create." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just time to manage what you got." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you create, then you will let go of the pain and you will step into another dimension of who you are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we get never makes us happy anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who we become makes us very, very happy or very sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is an opportunity to become more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re being called." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think the three approaches, some of you notice I wear this little baseball cap a lot of the time, which is convenient to do instead of fix your hair, quite frankly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it has that little symbol on the front, that lucky symbol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It isn t really about lucky for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about being blessed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my view is, if you will be a blessing, you will be blessed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think it takes three simple steps that we d like you to consider." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe after this little video ends, you ll sit down and jot a few notes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first step, I think, to free yourself is to find the blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Find the blessing in all this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not suggesting that it s a blessing that people have died." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or that we ve been cooped up or that people have gotten more addicted to drugs or, you know, kids are worrying about whether they want to commit suicide or none of that is beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in the midst of pain, we have to find beauty or there s no momentum to create something new." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so find the blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That would be the first step to sit down and make a list of five or 10 things, but really feel it, that this has been a blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, I mean, last year," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Last year we did, what, 118 cities, 16 different countries, some of them multiple times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve been doing that for decade after decade." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This year I ve been home longer than ever time in my entire life since I was 17." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s, well, there s this pull." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now I m still able to reach people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those first six months was, I felt like I wasn t doing my part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the blessing of being able to have my body heal a little bit, you know, us being together, our ability to create something new because there was a pause was so huge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have just more meal times together, you know, or going for a walk on the beach, or there s just different rhythms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reading, I mean, just taking that time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people that I speak to as well, and including myself, you know, I have better health at this stage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m exercising more, I m walking more, I m reading more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just more spaciousness to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For us, we would have been on a plane, or traveling, or going to an event, or flying back from a different country." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, just some of the simple, mundane, ordinary things have become so beautiful because just appreciating it and seeing it through a different lens and appreciating what is and making those moments matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the value of a season, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do we have winter?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Winter makes everything slow down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And only the strong survive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you re strong enough during that time, you can nurture each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can be together as family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always say, you know, winter, some people will freeze to death." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to do our part to make sure they don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But also some people learn to ski and snowboard or be with their family or prepare, create what s new because the old is dying off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Winter is followed by springtime." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, it s like if you were God when you set it up that way, you know, where after the toughest times, you have this new experience of growth and opportunity and expansion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And winter is not forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These tough times are not forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re resourceful as human beings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Find the blessing, make a list, feel it, and maybe share it with the people that you love most and ask them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been asking people, I let them tell me everything is horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I listen and then I say, okay, I get that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s helped me is to find something to build on that is good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the unexpected gift if you really dug for it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you really dig it, I know you ll find it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the second one is be a blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My hat, that s what it says underneath it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It says, on the side, be a blessing, and it says blessed, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, I really believe, as I said earlier, if you can be a blessing, my prayer before I go on stage, every time I close my eyes, I feel presence, and I say, Lord, use me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to be a blessing every day of my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s for my 43 years that I ve been doing this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My prayer, my heartfelt prayer is be a blessing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes you can be a blessing just by your presence for someone, just caring for them and listening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes you can be there by offering a solution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes you can be that by just being an example of what s possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many ways, but sometimes it s just your love that s a blessing, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or it can be as simple as, I mean, my father was a blessing to me the other day, just with his presence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but in that exchange, I ve had, you know, different level of conversations on both sides of where we live, our neighbors, you know, I ve just bumped into them because we re walking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just been beautiful people, beautiful people in our life that was so busy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I said hello to them, but I ve actually never really had such a meaningful conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, to be a blessing is also just our state of being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, if you re in a state where you re feeling, you re in a different stage and you re in that, like Tony talked about, the shock or the anger or the sadness stage, you know, still, just know that waves don t last forever, you know, and those waves come in and they go out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, it s beautiful to bring our state of being" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to our loved ones, never mind to life, you know, so we can touch life deeper." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, when we let go and accept the reality of what is, all of a sudden, in one moment, you might have been crying and you can actually laugh at the same thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve experienced that, like we ve experienced the loss and the pain of that and been in that, and then we ve laughed till we ve had tears in the same breath about the same topic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s healing to be able to just allow yourself to be what s true for yourself in the moment and let that wave to pass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "be surprised what comes next and the gift to just know that our state of being, our state of being affects those that we love and affects life around us and it s just a beautiful notion to, is simply just to be present for each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the second step, be a blessing, really, is to realize there s always somebody who s got it more difficult than you have, no matter how much you re suffering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was, you know, sleeping in my old Volkswagen and trying to survive, the things that would break me out of it is when I d get out and I d just see somebody who needed something and I could do something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t have money, but I could help them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could go move the shopping cart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could help them across the street." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just stupid little things are not stupid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are acts of kindness and acts of kindness, unfortunately, in our current culture that s been so polarized." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re so judging other people by whether they believe what we believe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s not how life is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody believes different things at different stages." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of our unification is to have some common values." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And kindness and love and growth and contribution are the things that make human beings most fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I said, it s" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not what you get, it s who you become." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So doing something for somebody else, like you can go to a homeless shelter and work for an hour with your kids and your kids will no longer be worried about other things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They could be seeing other people and seeing the need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we re called, we get out of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Suffering is always about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember one was saying, no, it s not about me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m worried about my kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not doing well in school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, man, with all due respect," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you were just worried about your kids during school, you d be working on that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your upset is because you feel you failed your kids, and you haven t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to be kinder to yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what you need to do is find something to help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, we ve been feeding people, as most of you know, since I was 17, because I got fed when I was 11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we also give people this little book called Notes from a Friend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember I was in San Diego not long ago, and we were doing this feeding program in the morning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we came back for a second run with some more food, and we gave out this little book." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I wrote it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s this little tiny, like, little cartoon book that gives people some skills." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s not just give them a fish, teach them to fish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll never forget this young man in his early 20s, and he looked so broken up and everything else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he came back, and I came back, a huge smile on his face, and he was helping us pass out the food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it turned out he took the food we gave him, this giant basket, and he divided it amongst five people, himself and four other people, because he read this little book and realized the secret to living is giving." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you just saw this joy and this energy in him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His circumstances hadn t changed, but his internal experience had changed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to remember there s two worlds of the master, the external world and the internal world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is the one you ve got to master first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The outside world can be perfect and you d be miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The outside world can be challenging and you can be euphoric." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m not saying be euphoric, I m just saying find the meaning that will move you to the next level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So who can you serve?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can you give?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something simple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Presence, time, energy, whatever you got, you will find yourself freed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then lastly, if you find the blessings, if you be a blessing, you will be blessed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you will not only be blessed, but you ll feel blessed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll feel the awe, you know, in the little things, like Bonnie Pearl was saying, Sage was saying, you ll feel the joy that comes from just being present with your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much we re missing, we re going so fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So perhaps, perhaps this can be just a reset for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you do it now," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In maybe our second or maybe our third, we re going to do three of these little Cyruside chats, and you can see they re just flowing while I m discussing with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope it s helpful to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think our third one, we re going to talk about how to create 2021 to be your best year ever, because to me, the greatest story of mankind is the comeback story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, not somebody who s knocked to their knees." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody gets knocked to their knees, but they come back, not just to where they were, but better than they were." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s start with this little bit of homework if you re willing to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t wait." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t wait for everything to change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Change internally, before everything changes on the outside, and you ll already be free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So your homework s simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find the blessings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a list, 5, 10, 15 amazing insights or feelings or things that can be precious that have made this, can make this special if we focus on it and share it with some people and find out what s been a blessing for them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then be a blessing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can you serve?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What could you do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something simple in the midst of all your business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then enjoy being blessed, because we all are, if we re living at this time in human history." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As difficult as it may be, we re creating technology helping blind people to see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re creating a world where literally you can access any information you want at your fingertips." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All we need to bring to it is more gratitude, more love, and more kindness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always say that if you really want to be free, give up your expectations and replace them with your appreciation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because expectations make up sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t always get fulfilled by people, by the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when we appreciate, we re free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s our little fireside conversation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it was helpful for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope it was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s from our hearts to yours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just feel for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that so many of us have gone through so much pain, and some still are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the end is in sight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I say the end, I mean the beginning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what it really is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So thank us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for allowing us to pop into your home or wherever you are in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we send you love and blessings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been beautiful to be with you today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless to you just coming into this beautiful sacred time, coming into your holiday and our holiday season." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We look forward to being with you next time, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Take care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bye-bye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey, everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wasn t that message just beautiful?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, every time Tony and Sage do this, this fireside chat in the holiday season, I always feel so grateful that they share their time with us from their home and walk through their personal distinctions on whatever s going on in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this year, it just feels so fitting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s been a little crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, we can all relate to this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So many different emotions, these stages of grief that Tony s talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m wondering for you, what s the one that felt the most true?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Was it anger?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or was it sadness?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or was it acceptance?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or were you creating?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of us have had that frustration at the external limitations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In this community, we can relate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of us are doers, or we want to make things happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So not physically being able to go out into the world and make an impact, just like Tony not being able to have live events, that gets frustrating, like Tony was frustrated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then Tony does that thing, right, where he says the perfect thing at the exact right moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he reminded us today of a message." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said that there are two worlds that we need to master." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The external, do you remember it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the internal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your outside world can be perfect and you can still be miserable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know people like this, you hang out with them, you date them, you re married to them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, like the year we have has been a little crazy and some people are still euphoric." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m sure you ve seen people like this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They ve had awful things happen in their life and for some reason they re not negative and they re not complaining." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what s their secret?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our holiday campaign is about being a blessing but recognizing these secrets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s understanding and knowing, that inner knowing that life is just happening for you and not to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, people like that, they understand that there is a higher meaning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everything is happening for a reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They see beauty inside of pain, and they give up the expectation that we have, and they replace those with just appreciation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what makes them free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the question becomes, how do you experience that kind of freedom and comfort in knowing your purpose is greater than you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s about a few things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s about consciously creating and designing the life that you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s about knowing exactly what your purpose is and making sure your actions every single day actually align with what you say you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then when you have that purpose," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know there s that feeling of excitement, of aliveness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like you have this conviction." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You want to get out of bed early in the morning and stay up late at night." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This determination, this laser-like focus, this compelling future that is driving you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the question now becomes," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are we managing our life or are we the creator of it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that is a two millimeter shift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We want to become the architects of our lives and as Tony would say, not the manager of our circumstance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Discovering our true purpose and then designing our life to fulfill that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So in our last moment together, I want to share with you, how do you design your life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And not from my answer, but what would Tony say?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How do you design your life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he ll tell you, it s not just sitting down with a piece of paper and writing out your goals at the end of 2020, getting ready for 2021." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re not just going to wake up and there s going to be blue skies and everything s going to change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve got to put in the work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that work, Tony s favorite event that we have is State with Destiny, and I m gonna take a few moments right now to walk you through what that event is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a six-day, full immersion event with Tony, and it s his favorite event for a reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So real quick, real fast, I m gonna walk you through this, because in our holiday season, this is the event that we wanna invite you to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so it s about doing the work to figure out why we are the way we are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s about deciding what you wanna change about your internal world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "truly rewiring your nervous system from your beliefs and your values, figuring out your life s purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Doesn t that sound so fitting for right now in our lives?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how you can start to fulfill that purpose every single day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ll do the work at Date with Destiny to set yourself up for fulfilling your life with what you enjoy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in a year where this world went upside down, end it with Tony at Date With Destiny, his favorite event." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you can go into 2021 full of purpose, conviction that you are creating the life that you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the good news is this is going to be 100% virtual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "a fully immersive experience from the comfort of your own home." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could do this with your family, with your dog, with your lover." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can say, babe, we re doing this thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is my Christmas gift, my holiday gift, whatever you re celebrating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have holiday pricing right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we want to give this gift to you today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is an offer you re not going to see again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We do this with our Fireside Chat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a gift from Tony and Sage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we want to give this to you guys today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So go grab your tickets to date with Destiny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I cannot wait to see you there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We love you guys." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for sharing this time with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and we will see you in December." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Bye-bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hello everyone, we re back for our second conversation with extraordinary leaders conversation designed to unify not divide a conversation designed to take a stand against injustice and to create lasting change, not just inspiration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to thank you for joining us again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This continued conversation is because Reverend Jesse Jackson was available last time and it gave us an opportunity to think of some other individuals and I m so grateful they re willing to join us to add to the voices." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The goal here is to get to a deep level of our own feeling and emotion, to understand even greatly, more than understand, appreciate, feel, experience the compassion and the love for our brothers and sisters who have had a unique experience, unfortunately, starting in slavery," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then still experiencing what we re experiencing, the George Floyd s of the world, the Ahmaud Arbery s, the Taylor s, the complete insanity and injustice that happens over something as insane as the color of one s skin instead of the quality of one s character." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We tend to be so tribal, tribal about religion, tribal about race, tribal about politics, divided." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so this is an opportunity to perhaps shut up and listen and hear and feel and really try to step in the shoes of those that have lived this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the people that we re having are extraordinary human beings here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re leaders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they also happen to be African-American as well, but extraordinary leaders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why I asked them to be here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "about half are friends of mine for years and the other half I m just getting to meet myself along with you here for the first time today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I want to introduce them and then I d like to kind of create the frame of what we want to accomplish here and then we ll just dive straight in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, we have Van Jones, a CNN political contributor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s the host of The Van Jones Show and The Redemption Project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Van, I have so much respect for you, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a man of such integrity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know your political side, and I voted for Obama myself, I understand, but regardless, you ve managed in the middle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I watched, especially in the last year or so," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "especially around the area of trying to make reform in the prison system, you really bridge both sides." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve seen you step out of what I see very often in television is it s like one channel is one side, one channel is another." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really want to thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m really grateful to have you today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wrote, Beyond the Messy Truth, how we came apart and how we can come together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what this whole conversation is about, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you for being here, Ben." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next, we have a legend, Reverend Jesse Jackson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This man needs no introduction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Civil rights activist, Baptist minister, politician, former aide and dear friend of Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "himself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you, is it true you re 78 years old now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "79 in a few days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "79 in a few days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, happy birthday early." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve been an activist for 60 years, only been alive 60 years, brother, so we cannot wait to hear your sharing and it s been a privilege to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels like a reunion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, last time we were hanging out together, we were both speakers at Tukey Williams funeral back in 2005." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, of course, our next person, Barbara Becknell, is a force of nature as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s an author, a journalist, a film producer," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got to meet Barbara in 2005 because I watched a film that she co-produced, a biopic called Redemption." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the story of Tukey Stanley Williams, a man who started the Crips and went to jail and was on death row for 20 years, six years in solitary confinement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A man who had a brutal upbringing and learned that he was either predator or prey and decided to become predator." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Barbara decided to go do a journalistic piece." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll let her share for herself, but I think it was a little bit to make sure her son didn t think he was too cool a guy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, he was the coolest from the standpoint of the gangs, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Came in to judge the man and fell in love with the man he became." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s really, Barbara, why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re here to let people remember that it doesn t matter where people start, doesn t matter what we ve done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All human beings do stupid things, sometimes horrible things, all of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can transform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Tookie s life was an example of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got a chance to spend time with him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But Barbara spent 13 years of her life supporting this man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After judging him, she came in and helped him get these books published." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was nominated for nine Nobel Peace Prizes from prison." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He ended the fights between the Crips and the Bloods by video from prison." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And unfortunately, he died in this criminal justice system, even while he was serving others while we worked together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ll talk in depth about that, Barbara, and what that means and how we can extrapolate that to help other people believe change not only is a must, but it really can happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it does happen with the right approach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Barbara, you re nothing but love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Barbara also ran for governor of California in the Democratic Party back in 2006 against Governor Schwarzenegger, who we were trying to persuade at the time to help us out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, of course, we have Derek Johnson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Derek s the president and CEO of the NAACP." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the NAACP was the oldest and largest civil rights organization in America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It started in 1909, and it was started by white and black folks together because same damn shit we re dealing with today, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just violence and insanity and stupidity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he s spent his life as a veteran activist, and now he s heading that organization in the 21st century." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Derek, thank you for being here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We really appreciate you being here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And finally, Charlemagne the God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just Tony the guy, but it s a pleasure to meet you, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a cultural influencer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was excited to have you here because he s the host of The Breakfast Club, but I love the way you go deep, brother, and you don t take bullshit from anything or anyone, and you go there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I know, and we all in this room have large bullshit meters at this stage of our life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I know that we ll get straight frame from you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You wrote a book called Black Privilege, Opportunities Come to Those Who Create It." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really love the whole thought process behind that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s also talked a lot about the anxiety that human beings have, especially African-Americans living in a world where they got to wonder, are the police going to help you or hurt you or hurt your family?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Charlie May, thank you for joining us, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We really appreciate you being here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for having me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the focus here, as I started to say, is let s see if we can t, by deep conversation of emotion, come to a larger truth that, look, there s 99.9% DNA in common amongst us all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re the family of God and the family of this world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were all black at one point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you study history, we moved north and our skin had to lighten to survive to get vitamin D. And we stayed in Africa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We needed protection from the sun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet, somehow, we ve created this cultural conditioning of judging humans by the color of their skin rather than the quality of their character." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in our previous discussion, we had a gentleman on who was extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His name is Daryl Davis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a great influencer, great, brilliant man, also happens to be African-American." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he has converted, over 30 years, literally 200 Ku Klux Klan members." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of those we had on the show here earlier, which was a previous imperial wizard," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, this man couldn t be more racist, mean, or harmful as a human you could ever imagine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now he s an anti-racist activist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it just shows the change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Tukey Williams, the example we gave with him, I mean, I kept reading the press at the time trying to save his life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the press kept telling the same story of what he was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not who he is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what we do to each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had a police officer here on the last session." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a white police officer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s actually mixed race, half Hispanic, but looks very white." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s in L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and he s been trying to protect protesters and stop rioters, not an easy thing, and getting called a racist and being attacked viciously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s married to an African-American woman and has interracial children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we all make these judgments as human beings, this tribal mindset, and our goal here is to show it can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mindset as a human, regardless of color, I respect everybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s what s missing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my respect doesn t come because I know everything about them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My respect comes because I know every person I ve ever met in my life is superior to me, superior to me in some way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not me playing small or fake ego." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just I know they have different life experiences than I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as a result, they have experiences I don t have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have skills, abilities, insights, emotions that I won t have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And today we want to hear those and feel those." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m not inferior and I m not asking you to be either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also know that I m superior to everyone I meet in some area, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I ve had a different set of life experiences over all these years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve put myself on the line, learned certain things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what that creates is equality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes us respect myself and respect others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it s not this positioning that so many people have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to dig in and start with you, Van, if we may, at the top." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really was excited to have you, because I think you ve got a balance of head and heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, you re smart as a whip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not blowing smoke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you also have this great heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel it in you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you step in other people s shoes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I understand you grew up in a home with a law enforcement family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I want to get your point of view first on what s the best way to improve law enforcement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what do you think of the situation?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What needs to be done, brother?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s just an honor to be here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve admired you for a very long time, and I ve never met you, but I ve read your books, I ve watched your videos, and I think my life is better because of you, and I appreciate you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Very kind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being able to bring a pretty important technique for life to millions and millions of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look, you know, I was born in rural West Tennessee on the edge of a small town in 1968, which is the year they killed Bobby Kennedy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They killed Dr. King." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They basically tried to kill hope in America." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I basically spent most of my life trying to figure out how to get the hope back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My father was born in 1944." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in Orange Mound, Memphis, which is one of the biggest so-called ghettos in the South, what you would now call a shotgun shack." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He joined the military to get out of poverty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody else was running out of the military." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad ran into the military to get out of poverty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He attended a little black college." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He put himself through Lane College in Jackson, Tennessee, and he married the college president s daughter, my mother, because my dad was no dummy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my mom and my dad worked hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They put my Uncle Milton through college." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who just retired from Memphis City Police Force, a cousin through college, and then me and my twin sister through college." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I graduated from Yale Law School in 1993, they took a picture of my father standing outside that law school with his hands in the air, saying, you re a ninth generation American, a ninth generation American, but you re the first one that was born with all your rights recognized by this government, and look at what you ve done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they put that picture of my father on the funeral program when he passed away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my gosh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m Willie Jones s son." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beautiful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am Loretta Kirkendall Jones s son." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wish my father and my mother had lived to see this, because somehow," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we couldn t have done this two weeks ago, because people would have been so destroyed and so distraught by watching a lynching, because that s what that was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a lynching." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to see a black man strangled to death in front of the whole community, body cams on, cell phones out, to intimidate a community, that s a lynching." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s never been shown on a billion cell phones at the same time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we couldn t have done this a week ago or two weeks ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now I think a miracle has happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "some common ground, a continent of common ground, has emerged from beneath the depths, it could go back down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at least right now, you have tens of millions of white Americans saying, racism is more real than I thought." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody s now saying racism is over, post-racial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That seems to be completely off the table, at least for now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you also have people saying that there s something much, much," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more broken about our police and criminal justice system than they had hoped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re asking, what can I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a miracle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reverend Jackson has been working for that his whole life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dr. King gave his life for that, to try to just get people to acknowledge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have to fix it in 20 minutes, but just not being gaslit all the time that you re making this up, you re exaggerating it, or what about this and what about that, just to know that there s at least some number of people who are willing to at least acknowledge what we ve gone through and what we re going through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in terms of, you know, the way forward," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I mean, you can get smart about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there has to be justice in the case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The officers need to be punished and held accountable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There has to be bipartisan legislation to fix some of these things and make it less likely to happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There needs to be an economic surge into these communities that have been suffering for so long and have been suffering even more because of the virus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, revolution is a change of heart first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "know it s a change of heart and and there has to be a real change of heart uh and and we have to learn how to help each other now because i think often as an african-american i feel now a little bit in a no-win situation we don t know how to talk to each other now people want to have the conversation we don t know how to have it as an african-american i feel" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I want my sisters and brothers who are white to care more and to know more, but I also feel fatigued in trying to be the teacher." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so now how do you deal with that Catch-22?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I ve kind of come to is just at least as we re getting to know each other in a different way, in a deeper way, there s a reason you pay tuition because it s costly to educate somebody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is costly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I m the only black person in this corporation, I m the only black person, now everybody s coming to be educated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It costs me, it takes something from me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I have to do it perfectly, otherwise you might get triggered." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I ve gotta be a university professor and your therapist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have the ability to do that, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if I m gonna be the professor, I think the prayer is just at least do your homework." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s the next step is like, Google is a powerful tool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, God forbid, if you found out that your child, God forbid, had a rare form of cancer on Monday, God forbid, on Friday, you would be a world expert on that form of cancer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would be an expert." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would have watched every YouTube video, read every book, found every expert." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d be arguing with the doctors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d be so well-educated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Within five days, because Google is such a powerful tool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I got to be the," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "teacher, I m willing to do that, but please, I think we have to say, there s homework to be done, too, on your side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s books like The New Jim Crow, White Fragility." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are documentaries like Eyes on the Prize, The 13th." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you come, you ve already done your homework, and it s a more joyful conversation when you say, I made my whole family watch all 10 episodes of Eyes on the Prize." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ve been debating in our household about Stokely Carmichael." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we talk about that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think about Stokely?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a wonderful conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As opposed to teach me in five minutes all about racism and make me feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would never go to somebody and say, teach me Russian in five minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make me feel good about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will tell you, and Reverend Jackson will tell you, the history of race relations in this country is as complex as Russian." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you would never go up to somebody and say, teach me Russian in five minutes, and by the way, don t offend me when you do it, you wouldn t say that to me on race." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now we can start joking with each other a little bit more because we re in a circle where people now really do want to know what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we have to discover what to do and co-author what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last thing I ll say is this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I ve now become aware of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you were talking about this earlier, and now be quiet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please don t be quiet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s an irony here that I wasn t aware of until this week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there is an irony." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re trying to confer a benefit to our white sisters and brothers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they think we re trying to take something from them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that we put them down in the past, maybe they re gonna come back and abuse us and mistreat us or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s some anger that has to be worked through and anger is justified given our situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the irony is, the skillset and the mindset of the 21st century," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is what we re trying to confer to our white sisters and brothers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our white sisters and brothers all too often have been taught the mindset of competition, domination, victory, achievement, accomplishment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They haven t been taught the mindset of empathy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a different mindset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, if you re black, you have to code switch all the time, so you have to understand how white folks think, how you think, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we are very skilled at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White folks, less skilled at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a mindset of empathy that we are trying to convert." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The precursor to being a good anti-racist, you have to have empathy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a skill set." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The skill set that most of our white sisters and brothers have been taught is present, speak, talk, debate, argue, not listen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Women are the masters of the deep listening that we need to learn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s a 21st century mindset of empathy and skillset of listening that if we are successful at conferring that, you re gonna be the best husband ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to be the best mom ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to be the best salesperson." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to be the best neighbor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to have happiness and joy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White people are trapped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White people are constricted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White people are smaller than they have to be to be this unconscious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to just be unconscious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s a freedom for everybody that we re aiming for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, that to me is something that is ironic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They think that they re fighting to keep us from being free at their expense, but our unfreedom comes at their expense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of us are free in this system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I just appreciate the opportunity to be a part of the conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if everybody s willing to do their homework, Google is a powerful tool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find your own books, read them, do documentaries." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come tell me what you think about James Baldwin, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Octavia Butler and all our great thought leaders and Toni Morrison and then we can have a we have to have equality of discomfort We have to have equality of discomfort if I m gonna be uncomfortable every day in a white environment in this conversation You have to be willing to be a little bit uncomfortable too and an equality of effort." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been trying my whole life And if we can have that kind of equality, I think we ll get somewhere" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bishop Jake s shared the concept." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, you said the beginning of remarks about the idea of just being believed I don t you know that what we re going through is real instead of, you know, you re just angry, you know, you have no reason to be or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I think a lot of white people feel they re being personally attacked and they feel like they ve not contributed any of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so their mindset is, well, then you re doing the same to me, you re doing to others, but they don t understand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can even tell you myself when I ve been involved in this fight for 20 years, but I can remember in the beginning, people talking about privilege and, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I worked my ass off to be where I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, you know, not all white people end up where I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My privilege?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what goes through the head of somebody who doesn t have your experience initially." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m embarrassed to even admit, but that s what it was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you start seeing, you know, as I develop more friends in the community that are there, they become dear friends and witnessing things that you just don t see if you re not in the environment that I just wouldn t tolerate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then also the deeper part of like, you know, white privilege, the ultimate white privilege that people don t realize they have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I heard," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "friend of mine was saying that, you know, privilege, we re not taking, we don t want to take away your privilege, we just want equal privilege." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not about taking something from people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s somehow what some people have in their head because there s so much anger, which there s every reason to have beyond anger, total rage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it happened to any person, they d have this rage inside, to their family, to their friends, to their community." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think the ultimate white privilege, at least for me, is that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that I don t have to worry about my children or my grandchildren being pulled by a police officer and is he going to take them out of the car or abuse them or kill them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I wanted to show for two seconds, I know you re a father, a father of two, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t you have two boys?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I do, I have two boys, two black boys and one sixth one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and how old are they?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The big boy will be 16 this summer and the little boy will be 12 this summer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re just getting into that age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How old are you?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "coached or dealt with your two sons, and what kind of conversations do you have with them to try and help them understand what s going on and have hope for the future?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious, Sam." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s, I think a lot of white parents ask, when should we start talking to our kids about race?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just the mere fact that you can ask the question that there s some time, oh, you get to pick?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never, never, it literally never occurred to me that, oh, well, maybe eight and a half." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I think 11 and a half." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They live in these households." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They hear this stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even when you don t talk to them, the kids are smart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you were a kid, you knew everything that was going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You played though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our kids are the same way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, it s something that what you want to do is to," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, make sure they understand that it has nothing to do with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to do with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That this is something that has been passed down and that for them, what we want them to do is survive the experience and then let their dad deal with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just want you to survive the experiences and then let your dad deal with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were gonna have a big, big problem when your dad comes to deal with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t have to have a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have the problem with them, and then they ll have the problem with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has nothing to do with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not losing any dignity when you re surrounded and outnumbered." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The wise man knows to retreat, and then we can fight another day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have to talk to our kids about" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just art of war, Sun Tzu stuff at eight, you know, at six." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the other thing too is that the little kids are, you know, so as your big kid gets bigger, the little kids don t like to be pushed out the room when you re trying to talk to the big kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even if you try to push them out or you try to wait until they go to sleep, they re listening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see them under the door with their little ear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this is a part of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m gonna say this, our wife s and brother s are doing us no favors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "by not talking to their kids about race because they don t want to spoil their innocence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what you re doing is ensuring their ignorance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And society s happy to talk to them about race every single day by giving these little subtle clues as to who s on top and who s on bottom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so by trying to protect their innocence, you re actually protecting the ignorance of the society." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And kids understand one word that you can always use, no matter how little." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They understand fair and unfair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can always just say to the kid," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair to treat somebody this way because of their skin color." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair because they re heavy, because they speak a different language." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kids understand fair and unfair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s no excuse not to talk to your kid about the fact that some people treat people unfairly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because of the color of their skin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can start that at three or four years old and build that as you go and then they get more information as they can take more information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the idea that you re just not going to talk about it is a disservice to our kids who then have to go to school with ignorant white kids who then can t be allies and who can t understand what s going on and then get tricked into patterns of behavior that are not fair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not humane." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not what any spirit or soul is about for anyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, man." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really appreciate your insights and your feeling, and hopefully people will be penetrated by what you ve shared." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we speak to a legend, Reverend Jesse Jackson, civil rights activist, Baptist minister, politician." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jesse, you ve been called the conscience of a nation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve been called a great unifier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for 60 years you ve worked in this category and you ve been on the forefront of just about every piece, civil rights, equality, economic, social justice, sexual, social justice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re there in the front lines always and you were Martin Luther King s aid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have a perspective that dwarfs all of us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious, what advice would you have about how to talk to each other and how do we in this day moving forward instead of backward?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You always talk about we can t move backward with fear and division." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do we unify at a time like this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I was with the jail with seven last mid-July, 1696, trying to use the public library." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s gonna be 60 years this coming July 16th, went to jail trying to use the public library." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My first experience with this race thing was one that stands out in my mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was going out to help my mother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I go on the back of the bus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I got on the bus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I sat behind the driver because my grandpa had a wood yard and I was sitting in front of the truck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Three white kids sitting in front of me, they were playing at this innocent farm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was quiet, looking out the window, and the driver said, hold on, hold on, hold on this bus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He was telling me because I was quiet, the other kids were playing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He said, loud." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mother, she came in rushing, got me, she pinched me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My mother, you pinched me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I cried." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She pinched me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, you ll understand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of my father s friends, Mr. Yates, said the sound of a bus driver s head red colored from the rear, black and whites from the front." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But don t worry about it because the back of the bus that goes to the front will get, the bus will have a wreck for the back won t get hurt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s insulating me from racial laws." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I look for the God factor in this thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When George Floyd breathed his last breath, God breathed into the whole human race." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A dying man, not a congressman, not a rich man, a dying man on the corner in Minnesota, breathed life into the whole world with his last breath." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a God factor, it seemed to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A child 16 years old," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "on a camera, captured it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The whole world is running to this camera, not a big camera shot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Barbara in Hollywood, the child, she filmed it, took it public." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The other thing, it seems to me, is that COVID-19, one germ, stopped the whole world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You couldn t shoot with your gun, you couldn t bomb it, one germ, COVID-19, and it made people" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People thought they couldn t stop the whole world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me go to another level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there s a wall between us, Tony, there s a wall between us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other side of the wall is ignorance, fear, hatred, and violence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when we play football together, it s interesting that we come out of these various backgrounds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What allows us to play football together?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Alabama Police, Clemson." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uniform color, not skin color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People, every political persuasion in the stands, 90,000 people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What allows us to survive that encounter?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when I was playing Pelleziba, five, when I was playing Pelleziba, rules of public," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Goals are clear, referees are fair, and the score is transparent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now the playing field is even." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rules are public." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Goals are clear, referees are fair, and the score is transparent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you get along with football, it s an even playing field." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We saw a live lynching." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Touched something deep in the whole human family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It may not have happened when M.T.O." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was killed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We heard about it, we didn t see the lynching." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we matured a lot in the last 50 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a lot more interaction than we realize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Learned to live together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t go a step further." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our society is built on white supremacy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We say slavery, slavery is not the reason of sin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason of sin is genocide of Native Americans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We killed them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and declared war on Native Americans, the original host." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when they, the Redskins, which is named after a racist owner, marshal of the Washington team, and the movers was a part of this Charmaine, when they would bring a wagon load of dead Indians to the trading post, they d pick it for a dead Indian, man, woman, and child." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The scabdom, I had regular little scabs, the red skin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Legend, legend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were born and sent shaped in iniquity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White supremacy is America s real story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White supremacy, we believe in it as a nation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We believe in black inferiority." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna put this on that bus that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the king said, if I get on the bus, you re going to sit on the front." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The law says I can sit there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You like it, don t like it, you can walk, but you can t make me move." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The law says I have to move, then you humiliate me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, whatever your attitude is about it, you re either going to ride the bus or you re going to walk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The law changed that behavior, and the king said, eventually," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, two would change, but first behavior changes when the law changes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I want to go one step further." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Law and behavior versus attitudes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These conversations have been nice, but law determines that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing some things, we want to make lynching a federal crime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Between 1880 and 1950, 5,000 blacks were lynched." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No camera, five times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Indians were driven west by a trail of tears, we were driven north by a trail of blood." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They burned the whole town, they would have church service." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d be lynching downtown, leave church and go watch a black body mutilated and burned at the stake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That does not fit the white narrative of who white people are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think Civil Rights started in 1955." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jim Crow meant we were worse than slavery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least in slavery, the owner had an interest in protecting his slaves for production purposes, for tax purposes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apartheid really was worse than slavery, Derek, in this sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Separate but equal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whites, you have separate, but whites have the right to vote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have the right to own land." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This thing is not about just about police, it s about banking, industry, technology." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "6,000 years later, in 1965, radio was discovered, we began our own lottery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "TV was discovered, lottery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We moved to another part of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You built the whole American side on race supremacy and black inferiority." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m concerned that police is just one dimension of race supremacy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You fly that plane to LA or San Francisco or Oklahoma City, wherever you land, and there s not a black skyline building in America, not one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Banking apartheid is healthcare, education, job ownership." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My point really is this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t just talk about race supremacy, we must look at it as real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You didn t have a black auto dealership in 1966." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Auto dealership." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, they had no black Hilton franchises." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Race supremacy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We locked out society." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t borrow money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t get credit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we must dismantle the partner, not just police." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lynch should be a federal crime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The guy killed Aubrey in Georgia." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They get criminal hate crime because Georgia doesn t have a hate crime legislation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it really should be a hate crime trial on the anti-lynching provision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lynch is not a criminal crime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lynch is not a criminal crime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never passed a bill right there, and then they never passed a bill." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good cops become bad cops when they cannot tell about bad cops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blue flu is silence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Silence is violence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Police know who s the brute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They know who violate people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They won t tell it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they become bad cops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fact that they cover it up and won t tell it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they tell it, they ll get hurt, get killed, can t get promoted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that system is corrupt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We probably come back out and they cannot tell about a bad, bad, Simon Munity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simon Munity, when Juan McDonald was killing Chicago, killing Chicago, a couple of days before he gave the family $500,000 and sort of got out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cops said he attacked him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He shot him 16 times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When he was jailed, first time he was jailed for killing a person in 50 years, when the police was arrested in Minnesota, first time a white had been arrested for killing a black in the history of Minnesota." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So laws affect behavior, behavior affects attitudes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe that we must make racial behavior legal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What made Black Lives Matter take off was that three of them was killed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Killer went free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yellow killed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New York, killer went free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Micah Brown killed in Ferguson, Missouri." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lived there around six hours in the hot sun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even his neighbors walked past him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a justice to the situation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His neighbors walked right past him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a terrible thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My friends, when somebody said, Black Lives Matter, it came out of that situation, Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The good news is, two weeks ago, a racist congressman from Iowa was defeated, Stephen King." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black woman is now mayor of Ferguson, Missouri." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to see the God factor in this because we focus on Trump and Biden, but the black male Montgomery and Selma and Birmingham and Mobile and Richmond and Austin and Dallas and Houston." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That came when we did a concert in Houston, 1967." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He, uh, Ruthie Franklin and Bella Vona did a concert too for him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except on the stage, to give a wreath of flowers, they put tear gas in the fans, ready to evacuate the stadium." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re sitting there as a black mayor." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, I see daylight coming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This crisis has given America a chance to express." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We remember something that didn t exist." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s something deep down that s been cultivating over these last few years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re better than we ve ever been." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is the best America s ever been." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Today is the best America." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "America has never fought this much over a black man being killed, ever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have the most blacks in Congress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The teenagers in Congress, the Americans in Congress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We will determine the next president." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have four million blacks in America." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Over 100,000 white people now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I guess my real point is that while" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was in pain by the public institution of George and Ms." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Parks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Ms." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Parks said, why don t you go to the back of the bus?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could have been hurt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could have been pushed off of the bus." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I thought, by the name of Teal, I couldn t go back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God can speak to us from the grave." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Emmett Till told Miss Pollack to sit down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She really planned to go to the Texas 54 Decision Band, but when the moment of truth came, she wanted to get up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Emmett Till said, you can t get up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In many ways now, George speaks to us from the grave." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The God factor, I keep on living after I die." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I believe a lot of this conversation takes place, but I m convinced that attitudes come from the law and the law for behavior." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When kids play their football, they shouldn t play." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The rules determine the winner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So rules matter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Law matters." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right now, our predicament together is legal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People of faith fight for just law." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not trying to diminish their attitudes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m saying that in some sense, behavior is based on what you can and cannot get away with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Reverend Jackson." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m glad to hear that you feel that this is a historic moment, a God-given moment as well, a moment of grace, because the unification is there more than ever, as you pointed out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In today s world, there are no more foreigners in this world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you go to the plane in New York, you re going to Senegal, you re going to the plane, you re going to L.A., we re getting there at the same time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Science is wealth, business is technology." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Learning to live together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I m excited about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I set up a coalition." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re winning this race." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The problem is we re winning." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But God can use the pain and bring about power." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This boy dying, you know, there s a term in the New Testament called Numa, meaning breath." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God breathed his breath in us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He always breathed, always breathed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A knee on Floyd s neck, he was breathing God out of him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And his last breath breathed life in the whole human race." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It says, remember, Moses said, his breath went to the human race." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What an investment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My, my, my." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The beautiful moments to me was seeing his daughter, seeing my daddy change the world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, that s out of such massive injustice, only greatness, only good must come." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it looks like we re moving in that direction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for your life of service." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for what you ve shared." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ll come back with the questions at the end with everyone together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Reverend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Barbara, we ve been through some tears together over the years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you share with us what brought you to Tukey originally and how his life is an example of what s really possible, how humans can change, white, black, brown, you know, Christian, Jew, Muslim, it doesn t matter what, because to me that s what his life is a metaphor for and his life passing the way it did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to make sure he s honored this time and brought up as such a beautiful example, Barbara." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I met Stan about 27 years ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you had seen me then, I was a, I can laugh about it now, but I was a pearl button wearing, white pearls around my neck, straight hair," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "middle class sister who thought I knew what it meant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I didn t know, obviously, what it meant to be black, but thought I was more down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s put it that way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thought I was way more down than, in fact, I was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I go into the prison because at this point, I m sort of changing careers from being an economist and a public policy analyst in Washington, D.C." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to becoming a writer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get a writing assignment from Essence Magazine to do something on black youth gangs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go into Watts and the Hood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just at the time when the Crips and the Bloods gang truce was starting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m getting on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They say, well, you know, if you want to know something about the Crips, you really need to talk to Stanley Tookey-Williams." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he s on San Quentin s death row, and he hates journalists." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that required six months of writing him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finally, he lets me in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At that point, he had been incarcerated for about 13 years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what he said to me was," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m not who I was when I arrived here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I want to do now is write books for kids, not adults, but for kids to get them not to follow in my footsteps." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And can you, and ultimately he asked, could I help him do that and get that done?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which I ultimately, I did do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Didn t you have judgments about him before that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember him telling me that his first meeting with you didn t go so well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it did not go well, because number one, I did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I walked in as this middle class person who had all kinds of judgments that I was projecting onto him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he had some judgments he was projecting onto me as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And his projections, he was concerned as to whether I was maybe working for the LAPD, undercover, or what." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he was interrogating me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this went on in the prison was only giving me two hours." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re like an hour and 15 minutes into my two hours." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I forgot where I was and who I was with and lost my patience and said, look, you didn t get to be who you are, who and what you are without having good instincts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check your gut." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it still feels to you like I m an undercover agent or something, let s shake hands and I m out of here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, the long and the short of it is," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything was quiet in the room and there were guards there with guns and nobody breathed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no breathing for maybe about 20 seconds, which was a long 20 seconds." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he finally said, threw his head back and laughed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, come on, go ahead." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your questions?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, 13 and a half years later, I mean that my whole experience with working with him and working with the folks that I met, the gang truce leaders, the Crips and the Bloods, it completely changed my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was a woman with him for 13 years, coming out of prison, helping get those books out, trying to help him in every way, including help stay the execution." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we had some new information that was from his former cellmate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were trying to get the governor to consider that in those last moments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the governor actually called me and said, I can t tell you what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I remember he said, all I can tell you, he told me and my friend, we had a home in Sun Valley where he was, you re going to want me to come to your jacuzzi and eat your ice cream." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all going to be great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we were stunned when we heard, obviously, because we thought it was going to be OK." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went on to the last ditch effort on Larry King and you were there and you said, I want to go to the execution and took he told me directly said I don t want to be in there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you said you re not going to let only hate be there in that room when he goes to pass and you just you were the one face for him from that share with them how it happened." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, he" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The guards loved him at the end." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was such a man of peace." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They all had tears since he was going in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I got to see it directly when I went to go visit him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They loved him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He went from master of the universe to pain and violence, and six years in isolation, and then had this transformation to everybody loved him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But from that place, I want you to know where Barbara was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s the one face in the room sending love to this man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Please share what happened." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, yeah, it was the worst thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, first of all, he did not want me there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to be there for purposes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to see him die, but I knew that shouldn t be the last thing the level of hatred, the" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that was going to be projected onto him, my belief was." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in fact, when I saw it, it was way worse than what my worst fantasies could be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I thought that s not how he should die." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just simply not how he should die." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that I told him, just look at me, look at me, don t look at them, just look at me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what you see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let that be what you see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had told me about" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "three days before he was executed, I was pretty distraught." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, you need to pull yourself together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He says, you re out in the world representing me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he says, and I won t let these people destroy me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can t let them do that to you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So pull yourself together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we protested in the death chamber." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We put up the Black Power sign." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end, we said, we screamed in unison, the few of us that were there for him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The state of California just killed an innocent man and there are no windows in there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was all concrete." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the words just reverberated." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was more powerful than we could have imagined." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as I was leaving, I wanted, of course, to just collapse and cry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Stan, as you say, Reverend Jackson," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "how they can talk to you from the grave." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was dead at that point, but I heard his voice say to me, you represent me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t collapse, you stand up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had probably the best posture I ve ever had in my life, the way I walked out of there saying, okay, in my head, I was like, I represent Stan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, you know, cry when you get home, not now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Stan was executed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And illegally, given that it was ruled to be cruel and unusual punishment, the way that, of course, any kind of execution is cruel and unusual." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even within the law s definition of what happened to him, the torture and the botching of the execution made it even more cruel and unusual." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I saw the state of California kill" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stanley Tookie Williams." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I then fast forward almost 15 years later, and I see George Floyd killed by a government, somebody representing the government." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see him executed, lynched, executed, and it triggered my death chamber experience" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was, and so I only could watch it once." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could not, any time I had to put it on mute, I had to walk away." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t do it again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I learned a tremendous amount from Stan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s, one of the big lessons is everybody assumed," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that I helped him so much with his redemption." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I can honestly say is he helped me with my own redemption every bit as much as I contributed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever I contributed to him was certainly no more" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or probably not even as close as what he contributed to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of that speaks to what my thoughts are for what we can do with the situation we re in." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So where I am now in watching what has transpired, I agree with the Reverend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We do need to deal, of course, with whatever laws that we can come up with to deal with the police brutality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but we need to deal with more than that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to, like he called, I wrote down where he said banking apartheid." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what I was thinking, cause there s been a discussion about the social contract and that the social contract has been broken." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, if we re honest about this, like, you know, how did we get here?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we were never part of the social contract." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, what s the social contract?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s sort of the values that a populace or citizenry has that says, okay, if you will give me these things, we will allow, we ll give you consent to govern." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to govern us." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the problem was our concerns weren t part of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were reacting to the way we were being treated by that social contract." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the dominant culture was projecting that we were a part of it, but we were a part of it based on how they wanted us dealt with, how the majority or ruling class wanted us dealt with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we need a new social contract." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we need to be a player this time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to fall back on the parlance of the gangster class, who I know well now from my research, 27 years of research, we need to be players." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my position is," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not, no more asking, no more begging to be players." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we are players." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let us claim our status at this point." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just no more equivocating." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s work on a new social contract." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this time, having learned our lesson, that puppy needs to be in writing, you know, all of it, not the part that s, you know, well, the constitution and what" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what the Reverend said is absolutely right, I wrote that down, that rules determine the winner." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I agree with everything that everybody has said thus far." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just saying, right now, while we have this energy, we need to come up with some tangible things for folks to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw this wonderful documentary about James Baldwin that was called, I m Not Your Negro." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of the quotes, and I wrote it down because I was completely blown away, he s at Cambridge University talking about race, and he says, there is scarcely any hope for the American dream because the people who are denied participation in it" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "by their very presence will wreck it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in other words, if you don t let us, you know, we re here to make everything better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Back to what Van said, it will make America better, not worse, better, and not even just better, way better, you know, much better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanted to bring up Tukey because most people don t even know his, they know the Crips and the Bloods, but they don t know his history." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most importantly, again, they don t know how he became a peacemaker." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I have one quick question for you, then I m going to go to Derek." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d really love to know, because you were there, I had my experience of it, but he experienced me as a man, he experienced me as a white man, he had, you know, same thing as you, initial concerns, but then he felt who I was, you know, consistent communication, you know," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "interviewed him for a direct conversation with the governor that was private since the governor wouldn t come meet him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he wouldn t fall on his knees and beg." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, Tony, I ve done a lot of things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve done worse things than this, but I didn t do this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, I m not going to give up my integrity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he had this transformation inside himself from a man of violence to a man of peace." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s as large a transformation as a human can probably experience." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He told me that the experience of that was an internal one." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was blaming everybody on the outside." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said he read these great books, religious books, philosophy, and it began to change his way of looking at himself, where he took responsibility for himself in a whole new way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then from a place of peace in himself, he could bring peace to others." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he couldn t do it when he was enraged, he said." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so very much like Martin Luther King s approach, right, in terms of peace being the approach." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So tell me," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If, can you tell us two things?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One, how did Stan go from the man he was to the man he became?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The man you judged, and by the time you met him, he was a different man who literally touched the world." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And secondly, what would Stan want to happen now in the midst of all this?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so when he was thrown in solitary confinement, he s on death row, and somebody tried to stab him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they put him and the guy who tried to stab him in solitary confinement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the guy who stabbed him, they let out in about two years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Him, by the time I met him, he d been in solitary confinement about three and a half years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it took me working with him maybe another two and a half or three years to get him out of solitary confinement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he was there about six and a half years total." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what he says happened was," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, first of all, I had told everybody he was brilliant." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what was I called?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was called the duped middle class woman." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no way he was that brilliant, and on and on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it turns out, a few years before he was executed, they made him take an IQ test for something." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At any rate, he was genius level." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, OK, I m vindicated." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was not the duped middle class woman." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at that time, he was pretty semi illiterate when he was in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this brilliant guy was semi illiterate." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he says the chaplain brought him a Bible and a dictionary." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plus he then got another book that was about black heroes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so he said, he took the dictionary and he started reading mostly the hero book, although he did read the Bible also." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, literally every sentence he had to stop and look up a word." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, but he trudged through and read that whole book." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he says, as he became a literate person and then wanted to read more, he said he then became a thinking person, a rational person." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, all of this is while he s in solitary confinement." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then he began to evaluate his life and become introspective and to see, OK, this is not the right direction." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s when he got the idea." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of wanting to write books for kids." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me just tell you that real quick." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is back in the mid-1990s, it was about 1995, when we put a book proposal together and I went, it turns out the American Booksellers Association was having their convention at the Chicago McCormick Center, which is a huge center." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they had like about 2,500 publishers there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It took me three days to walk that whole conference and go to every booth." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only three publishers were willing to deal with" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a black guy on death row, even though his books were to try to save kids, but they didn t want, so three, only three, and then of the three, we picked one, and that was the beginning of him being able to sort of concretize." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would he want people to know today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, I was, one of the great gifts of my life, one of the great privileges was having being the one person, white person, he asked to come speak at his funeral, and he let me know he wanted peace was the most important thing, but" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would he see today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would he want people to know today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think individual responsibility and courage." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that he would want folks to be willing to call out what s wrong to, you know, the dominant racist narrative." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see it, call it out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s what he did." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see it, have the courage to stand up and call it out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that s what, so I think much of what we re talking about here, not even much, all of what we re talking about tonight, he would, today, he would support." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Barbara." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for sharing that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a part of history a lot of people don t know, and you ve been on the edge of it there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the spirit and soul contract between brothers and sisters, regardless of color of skin." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s also happening because we ve got leaders that have grown up with this pain who are now in a leadership position." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So speaking of leaders, and thank you all for your patience here." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know we re trying to cover a lot in this area." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Derek Johnson, head of the NAACP." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Derek, I saw that this week, I think I saw you reached out to the Mormon Church." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you were quoted saying, join us on this journey of understanding and overcoming." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was your goal there?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s your goal today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the understanding overcoming that we all need to understand today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, and I appreciate everyone who s spoken before and, and for me, the journey is important to kind of listen to but also place myself in that reality because growing up in Detroit in a" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the neighborhood I grew up in and under Mayor Comey Young and listening to him establish what it means to be in control and govern a city in the backdrop of the 84 and 88 presidential campaign when you can hear Reverend Jackson give those stirring speeches." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One in particular speech he gave was about the patches that we all make up that whether you are black or white or labor or women s rights," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of us have a patch, but the patch is not large enough to build a quilt, and it s through building that quilt that we can make up what s necessary to build a society that fits all of us." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I can recall him giving that speech." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For me, in the neighborhood I grew up in, it was rough." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I didn t know any other" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Black professionals, other than school teachers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I look to PBS and Eyes on the Prize." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I look to the 90 News to see what Colby Young will see that night." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I look to the Democratic Conventions during those two cycles to hear the voice of Jesse Jackson as a model, as an example." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "of how to move forward." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But also, once I matriculated to college, Tougaloo and HBCU in Mississippi, and we had some of the most dynamic speakers who would come in, everyone from Kwame Ture, Sokoli Carmichael, to Naeem Agbar, and it was in the midst of the concept of Afrocentricity and that movement, and listening to all those individuals, only to leave there and go to law school." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "law school in Houston." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In my section, it was eight blacks out of 120 people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "First time I had been in such a white environment." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There was the largest standalone, it still is the largest standalone law school in the country." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "About 65 African-Americans in the entire school at that time, close to 1,200 students." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A different reality, a different atmosphere, something I had not been used to because I had grown accustomed" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to growing up in a city like Detroit, 75, 80% black, going to an HBCU." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I had the privilege of being in that comfort zone and being able to figure out who I would be and how I would develop, only to be confronted with being in law school." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Leaving law school, working on Capitol Hill, coming back to Mississippi." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I came back to Mississippi because this is where the fight was." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is where the fight is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Mississippi now is synonymous for America." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is how people see each other." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My lessons I learned in Mississippi is how the tool of race is used" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to maintain power, how the tool of race is used to stir up emotion, how the tool of race is used to create otherness in ways in which demean individuals." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the way you demean individuals is through public policy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is one thing to feel and empathize." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s another thing to carry your feelings and empathy towards an outcome" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to change public policies, to change systems." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so for me, I said, you know, I need to also reach across communities." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where are the other communities that have been maligned and systems have been used against them?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how do we begin to broaden the conversation and take it away from the concept of partisanship?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Reverend Jackson, I m using him now because he s on here." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He used to always talk about there s only one party with two assumptions." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "or two parties with one reality." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And at the end of the day, Black folks were being used in the midst of both of those assumptions, both of those parties, to achieve an outcome that always in line up to the needs and interests of our community." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, when you think about political parties, they are nothing more than vehicles for agendas." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s incumbent upon us to put forth the right agenda to drive home the needs and interests that matter to the communities we represent." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in order to do that, you have to build alliances." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You have to understand the plight of other communities, but you also have to understand that this is a game of chess, not checkers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And reaching out and talking to other people and aligning your emotional empathy with the reality of what power actually look like." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is a beautiful thing to see what s taking place across the country." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "with the protesters." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is not just protesters of one community, it s everybody." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s the diversity of America." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But we have to also begin to march those protests towards power, and power is at the ballot box." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Unfortunately, people like to say, well, it s not all about elections." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, it is and it isn t." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not all about election if you think that the end of the day, the election is going to be the outcome that you re looking for." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it is about election if the outcome you re looking for is about public policy, which much of this country is driven by folks" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "public and private policy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for us as African Americans, we really have to understand the natures of the nature of power in this democracy and separate out the difference between what a democracy is compared to what is capitalism." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when democracy is strong, that means we are engaged and we re participating." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re advancing our agenda." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s important to our community, collectively and individually, and is strong, you hold capital in check." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when democracy is weak and African-American votes is supplanted or is submerged and unable to evolve into the voices that it should be, capital exploits people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Capital demean people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Capital figure out ways on how to develop a mass incarceration system that make billionaires out of nowhere while at the exact same time give lip service to the problem of mass incarceration and blame those who are incarcerated for being victims." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those individuals such as Tookie Smith, who was a genius by one measurement, but illiterate by another measurement, was victimized by a school system that simply penalized him, victimized him because of the zip code he grew up in." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Penalize people just because you are born into an area, therefore you lack the access to healthcare." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Penalize people as a result of where you re born." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re born with asthma." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Asthma is not naturally developed." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Asthma is environment because of the lead paint in walls, the chemicals that s been emitted." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of that is about public policy and you change public policy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "by policymakers who are sitting in the seat." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you change that by exercising that currency we call the vote." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our collective currency is the power in this democracy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so reaching across communities to understand how can we collectively leverage our currency." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Reaching within our community to make sure we maximize our currency." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "understanding the platform and history, understanding also, we don t repeat it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, we are at a junction." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that juncture is almost like using a historical analogy of standing at the Edmund Pettus Bridge." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "John Lewis was in the midst of trying to take that march." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he was stopped on that bridge and beat." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today we stand there, the question we have for America, are we gonna march forward and change the current political environment so that the public policies" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "really reflect the values that we would like to be governed by?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or are we going to retreat?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are we going to use this moment of protest and say, we told them, we shouted, we lied, we gathered, and now what?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so as we look at the arc of history, we have to learn from history and understand that even our most successful efforts, we had to build coalitions." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even some of our most prolific speakers, they understood the nature of reaching across communities." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would love when Stokely Carmichael would come to campus and he would give a speech and then sit with us for hours." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he would just go back and forth." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for me, it gave me a worldview because he was living on the continent of Africa." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And once a year, he would come to the States and give speeches." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would listen and listen." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the amount of love for community he would display was amazing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the things he will always say, whatever you do, organize, organize, organize." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get away from the titles of what organization you re part of, but make sure you organize them because when it s time to stand up to protect the community, you need to be able to be called on and operate." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he understood the arc of history." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll sit there and you had other individuals who will come on campus and talk about that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for me, I began to carry that forward because for us to move forward from this moment is a great juncture." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a great opportunity." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can actually do something that we have not done in this country in a long time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s truly addressed the question of structural racism." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "begin to advance the opportunity for there be a trueness to that Constitution that all men and women." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are entitled to certain inalienable rights." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or we can retreat right at the foot of the bridge and do nothing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Recognize this moment, just like we recognize the moment Trayvon Martin was killed, just like we recognize the moment of Ferguson, just like we recognize the moment of Eric Garner, or we can actually make something out of this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Eight minutes and 46 seconds, we witnessed a murder in broad daylight." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "11 camera angles, people watched." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are we gonna allow people to politicize this moment so they can cannibalize the opportunity?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or can we begin to build relationships within the black community and outside of the black community to try to put forth a public policy scheme that reflect a value system that we can overcome the structural racism that has plagued us for decades?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Final point." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "W.E.B Du Bois was one of the founders of the NAACP." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he talked about the issue of the 21st century will be the issue of race." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have never dealt with race." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve never addressed race." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We try to make the victims the problem so we can excuse away the opportunity." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here is our opportunity to really confront the question, yes," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Police agencies across the country, they have been a plague in our neighborhoods." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I grew up in Detroit on the street called 23rd Street." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had two white officers who we hated." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We called them Starshine Hutch." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they pulled you over, if you had any money in your pocket, they would take it and put it in their pocket." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were known to beat people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was amazing to me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They finally got caught because on my block, there was a young brother who was standing out there, Malice Green, and they beat Malice Green to death." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And finally, they were caught red-headed and they both had to serve time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was on my street." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s in my neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I also knew Junior Hawkins, an officer con where he grew up in the neighborhood, and Lieutenant Napoleon, who s now the sheriff, who all come from the neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we would see them, we said, okay, that s them." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we were not doing something we were supposed to do, they would pull us over and talk to us." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They may even put us in a police car and take us home." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a different type of relationship." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a different type of culture because you have officers who knew the people, who respected the people, who cared about the people, and for Junior Hawkins, who actually lived in a neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you had officers who didn t care about the people, who was racist to the core and used their power to exploit the people when they didn t even live in the city of Detroit." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to realign how we look at our structures, particularly policing in our communities to ensure we don t have police officers who become predators on the people who live in the communities." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have individuals who care enough about the community to provide the necessary protection and service." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you for this opportunity, but we are at a juncture." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is about our heart, but it s also about our head." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a foundation of a history that we can learn from, but it s forward-looking." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to move from protest to power." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First, I wanted to just comment on what you said." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has happened so many times." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve had the moment before, but nothing s changed." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My prayer is there s the process of stacking." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been stacking going on for centuries, for decades." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when somebody overreacts to something, if you overreact to your own child or to other human being, and you realize you feel bad afterwards, you don t overreact to that moment." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You overreact because it happened again and again and again until you hit a tipping point." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, Eric Gardner couldn t breathe, and we didn t get enough of this result." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe Arbery, maybe Floyd, maybe all these together finally hit this tipping point where it can change." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my last question for you, and I ve got to go to Charlemagne, I really appreciate his time, is what do you want to come out of these protests now at this point?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why have you, there s a big push to defund the police, and there s a lot of controversy on all sides on that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you not endorsing that so that people understand your perspective and the NAACP s perspective on that?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what do you hope is going to come out of this protest?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want out of this protest?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, the moment of protest is great." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has stirred up the type of energy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has given a lot of people the courage to stand up and identify." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this moment, it is just not about Mr. Floyd." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about racism." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve heard more people pronounce the reality that racism is real." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For years, people were denied it even exists." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This administration is still denying" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it exists." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Racism is real." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s one good thing." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now what you re going to do about it, it s time to take the protest and march to the polls in November." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because how you address it is address the policy that reinforce it, that keep it in place." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when the whole movement around defund the police, I completely understand the energy behind it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve asked, what does that really mean?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve had three different definitions." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how I interpret it is this, we need to change the relationship between law enforcement agencies and communities." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We need to stop having a buildup of arms of local agencies and understand those resources can be better deployed around preventive opportunities." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Growing up in Detroit, we used to go 10 minutes across the river, and during that time, many of the, across the river to Canada and Windsor." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And much of the time, those police officers didn t always carry guns." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a different type of relationship with the community." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With the example I gave about the officers who grew up in the neighborhood, it was a different type of relationship with the community." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Over the last 30 years, crime has gone down, not up, and yet the budgets of police agencies have gone up." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why are they building up arms as opposed to building up communities?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can those resources be better deployed to ensure that a child is not locked up, but the same amount of resources can be utilized so many children can be exposed to what is possible?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we shouldn t dismiss any campaign." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The energy of our young people are real." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The opportunity that we have is real." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The question is, what are we going to do about it?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Derrick, Derrick." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you remember in Minnesota, sir?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As we moved in politically, white figures moved to suburbs, and police offered the right to be non-residential in Minneapolis." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I say for the police don t live in Minneapolis." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in Baltimore and Detroit." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These policemen find a good job in the city and they come in as hired hands, as hired gunmen." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a residency for police, firemen, and teachers." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The police is your next door neighbor, dealing with a stranger with a gun." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, and that s a perfect point." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have no empathy for those you don t live around." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t care about a community that you re not invested in." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Therefore, you are willing to do stuff that s unlawful, particularly if you re not held accountable." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Qualified immunity allows police officers to do stuff without being held accountable." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the city of Detroit today, the county sheriff, Benny Napoleon, good brother, when he recognized that this virus was taking hold, what he did immediately was reduce the number of inmates in the county jail" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "from around 2,500 to less than 900, releasing all of the nonviolent offenders, placing them under house arrest, making sure they were tested, making sure that they wouldn t go back in an environment to cause harm if they had any history of pedophilia or domestic violence." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he shrunk the side." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wanted to protect his deputies." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wanted to protect the inmates." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he wanted to make sure that the community that he still lives in," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "treated people with dignity, whether they were locked up or not." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a model that people should look at." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He redirected the resource to save money, and as a result of that, allow people to have dignity in the midst of this public health crisis." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we need the police, but we need police that are connected to the community, that care for the community, understand the community and have consequences for the officer." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Didn t the officer that committed this murder was written up 18 times and yet he wasn t removed." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s the insane part." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you, Derek." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I really appreciate Charlemagne, the God you ve been patient as can be brother." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We never expected to build all this long." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for sticking with us." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, you re a cultural influencer, man." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve you re, you re not just influencing this country around the world." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now your breakfast club." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "conversations get put on YouTube, everybody sees them, shares them, you go deep." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve heard you say you re not surprised by this." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I d love to know a couple things." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One is, you have two daughters, is that right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Three." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Three daughters." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How old are your daughters, may I ask?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "11, 4, and 1." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I assume at 11 for sure you re having these conversations, but how are you helping them to interpret what this means?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the message you want your children to have?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m curious." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then I d love it if you d share a little bit of your story." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know you started out out of necessity selling drugs early in your life and so forth." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what created the change in you where you really wanted to become an influencer the way you d become?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I d love to hear about your children first, if we may." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "First of all, I want to thank all the brilliant people that are here with us today, because it s been very informative just listening to each one of y all speak." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I m a little off right now, just because this whole time period has been really emotionally exhausting and mentally exhausting and spiritually exhausting." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And right before" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Around 1.30 today, Eastern Time, I got a phone call about one of my really good friends who committed suicide." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sorry, brother." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, and you know, you just, I don t know, it s whatever." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "In a way, I feel like I failed her, just because you know people are going through things, and you reach out to help people, and you try to help people." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But it s like if somebody doesn t allow you fully in and really gives you access to help, you never really know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You just know something s going on." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it s like for me, it s just like today, it s just a new day, same old trauma." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s trauma on top of trauma." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I guess that s one of the things I try to keep from my daughters, because they re 11, they re four, they re one." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They have a sense of innocence, and you don t know how much is too much to put in somebody s mind." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You don t want to plant the wrong seeds in a person s, in a child s brain, because you don t know what that fruit can grow into." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t want to tell my daughter, like, yo, all white people are evil." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "you know, all white people are bad, you know, I don t wanna do that, right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But then you have to tell them about the reality of the situation." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The reality of the situation is white supremacy is very evil." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, systemic racism is very evil, you know?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And for me, just being a black person in America, you know, in particular, a black man, like, there s no way I can look at, you know, George Floyd and don t see myself." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, for me personally, that s just," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A nightmare scenario of mine, you know to have an encounter with police officers that ends with me being murdered just because of an interaction And you know when you re a black man, all you re trying to do every day of your life is survive and when you have like Close friends close family people that you rely on a circle a tribe When one of us doesn t make it for whatever reason You feel like" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You feel like you re getting closer to it yourself." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You feel like you didn t survive." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Like, I honestly feel right now like a part of me has gone, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I feel like I didn t help one of my own survive." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So, you know, how much longer, you know, would I even have left?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t know, you know, but, you know, I just have this thing I call black annoyance and things like this just constantly remind me why it s warranted and black annoyance," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the paranoia that comes with being black in America, and it s triggered by, you know, death." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So seeing a black man get killed in broad daylight in front of several people while cameras are rolling, and he s being murdered by the same people that, you know, are supposed to protect and serve us, when you see that, you know, you got to nullify the shadow of a doubt that everything you believe about America is an absolute lie." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, and I say it all the time, liberty and justice for all is just complete and total BS." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not liberty and justice for all, it s liberty and justice for, you know, rich white folks." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And when they created the Constitution and had the three-fifths rule in it, where they only looked at us as three-fifths of a human being, that s exactly how they ve always wanted it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And situations like George Floyd just remind you that" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "you know, that s the way the white supremacist power structure always wants it to be." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, I even think, even thinking back to my, my people was like, you know, I, I wanted, I did, I reached out to do a welfare check, you know, early, earlier this year." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, the, the, the law enforcement agency told me that they couldn t do a welfare check." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, and I think the reasons were because, um," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "she hadn t hurt anybody or hadn t hurt herself, or she wasn t in no immediate danger." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I m like, well, what the hell is the point of the welfare check then?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s the whole point of the welfare check." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it s just like, how come we don t have the resources we need to make sure that our people are mentally and emotionally stable the way that they need to be?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And this is just generational trauma to me." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Even when I think about the police, you got to think in the South, the economics that drove the creation of police forces." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They weren t centered on protecting and serving." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They were about preservation of the slave trade." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the primary policing institutions back then were slave patrols whose job was to chase down runaways and prevent slave revolts." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I see police killing and all black people, I see and feel what my ancestors felt because you are killing, you know, black futures and stopping black progress and choking the life out of just beautiful black freedom." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, America oppressed us on purpose and then acts like, you know, we put ourselves there." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just because we didn t work hard enough." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, but they cut off our feet." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why the hell would I own a pair of boots when I don t even have any feet?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m feeling a range of emotions, range of emotions right now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s literally just trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you ask me, how do I have these conversations with my children, my answer is," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as little as possible, because I haven t quite figured it out for myself yet." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if I will ever quite figure it out." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do remember having, you know, the most recent conversation me and my daughter had, you know, she was crying to me, telling me that, you know," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all white people are in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is an 11-year-old talking to a 41-year-old." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my emotions, looking at yet another black man get killed at the hands of the police and get killed because of white supremacy, get killed because of systemic racism, that is how my energy was." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s how my rhetoric was." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wasn t talking about" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "white people, I was talking about white supremacy and systemic racism, and that was just a concept she hadn t quite grasped yet." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you get a video where the young girl just, you know, started crying just because she came to the reality of, like, wow, somebody may hate me just because of the color of my skin." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what did that do to a person?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What kind of trauma did that put into an individual, especially a child?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they can t control what color they are." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can t control the fact that they have this beautiful melanin." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I go out of my way to say" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s a privilege to be Black." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s an honor to be Black." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I grew up with my father riding around in Moncks Corner, South Carolina, listening to James Brown say it loud, I m Black and I m proud." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we had the African medallions and the Malcolm X hats." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we had that sense of Black pride because if we don t constantly tell each other over and over and over and over and over that we are worthy, that we are Black, that Black is beautiful, this world will damn sure make us think otherwise." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m deeply sorry for the loss of your friend." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Outside this conversation, I d love to send you some things." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have an individual skill I ve developed out of my hating of suffering any human being." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in my own experience, I d be at the edge of my own life at one stage decades and decades ago." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve not lost one suicide out of thousands." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve killed those people." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Someone only takes their life when they believe that dying is less painful than living, as you know." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you can shift that, you can shift anyone." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re interested, I ll send you some resources in that area." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if I can ever be helpful to you outside this conversation, brother, you can count on me, because I do have that skill, regardless of the color of my skin." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s been my lifelong work." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d love to know just how you came to make the shifts in your own life." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you started out, if I understand your history, selling drugs." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You had a very tough background, to say the least, and yet now you re a worldwide influencer and you inspire people around the world." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you don t feel that way right now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How could you with what you ve been through again?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I d love to know a little bit of the path, because that path shows people what s possible." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re an example of that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why I wanted to bring you on, because you re an extraordinary human being." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not because you had it easy." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s for sure." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So tell us, if you would, just a little about that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then tell us a little bit about what your core message is for America today." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you want?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you want to come out of this as well?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But first, tell us a little bit about your journey, if you would." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was born in Charleston, South Carolina, raised in a small town called Mom s Corner." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I grew up on this very small dirt road in a single wide trailer." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was my mother and my father and my older sister and me and then my mother had my mother and father had to talk to younger brothers and a younger sister." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, everything that I got into as a child, especially when it came to like crime, I bought all of that on myself." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, my father was definitely, you know, the bad seed from bad sperm." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was, you know, had his own problems with substance abuse and he had his own problems with mental health." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was, you know, a drug user, but then he was also a drug seller." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he had that side in him, but he was also a good man as well." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a great man." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, he was a great man who, you know, knew how to do construction, knew how to use his hands." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, even at his worst, I always saw him bounce back and, you know, become his best." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we had a, and I learned this through therapy." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had my own issues with him just because of how I watched him, you know, treat my mother, because him and my mother ended up getting a divorce." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve been divorced for like," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "20 plus years now but you know I watched him you know having having a whole other family on the side and you know things like that you know bother you as a child and then you kind of suppress it and then it comes back later on in your life when you know you you are in a relationship and you know you you you might you know cheat" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re like, man, I don t want to lose my family, you know, like my father lost his." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, we in a good place now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the beauty about my father and my mother, my mother was an English teacher and a Jehovah s Witness." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my grandmother was a Baptist." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I always had spirituality." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always had some type of spiritual foundation." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my mother would always give me watchtowers and a wakes to read." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, we would go out and field service every Saturday." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was, you know, eye opening for me because" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they were actually being witnesses for God." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what Jehovah s Witnesses mean, being witnesses of Jehovah." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were, even though people would say that they were annoying, but it s like, yo, you kind of should be annoying when you re trying to, you know, push the work of a higher power, you know?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And literally every Saturday morning, that s something that we would do." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she was an English teacher, so she would always keep a book in my face, you know?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she would always tell me to read things that don t pertain to me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s kind of where I guess I developed an appetite for everything." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess that s where I m always willing to have conversations with anybody, because I saw other worldviews, you know, other than my own." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like a super, super intelligent kid, like as far as grades, until I got to about sixth grade." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I got to sixth grade, I was the guy who was hanging around all of the white kids in my class, because that s all that was in my class." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was only like three other kids in my class, because it was like, they used to have it," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in tier." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was like A tier was the best and then B tier and then everything our A and C was the best and then like B and D was like the bad kids." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always in A tier and there s only like three other black kids in that class." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all would hang out amongst each other but then all my cousins who were, you know," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "already on the wrong path, they wasn t having that at all." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they literally would bully me all the time." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I used to have the fanny pack and the glasses." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in sixth grade, they would bully me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just got to the point, I remember one day my glasses just fell off and shattered and hit the ground." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, man, if you can t beat them, join them." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I just started running with that crowd." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And literally that lasted for about," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "probably four, five years because from the time I made that decision in seventh grade to run with that crowd, the behavior just got worse." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to acting up in school and then finally getting to high school and then getting introduced to, you know, selling drugs because people that were my age had started to get into that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so like once I started" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting suspended all the time from school and not wanting to tell my parents I ll be cutting at somebody s house." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how you get into the criminal lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when I got expelled from school around like I think I was in 10th grade, I was all the way in the street at that point." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to jail for like 45, 50 days." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I came home, I tried to get my life on the right path." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had a job." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I worked at a warehouse called Industrial Acoustics Company." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That didn t work right for me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ended up working at a flower garden." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That didn t go well for me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was just like, I m gonna do what everybody else doing." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started selling dope." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I started selling dope, the first time I ever got locked up for drugs was really that was the time when I finally say," }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, enough is enough." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because my father would always tell me that if I don t change my lifestyle, I m going to end up in jail, dead, or broke sitting under the tree." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you re young and you start to actually see that reality, you start to see people that you actually loved, you know." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "growing up to be just washed, and they re sitting under the tree not doing nothing with their life, and you got people that you were peers with and went to school with, they end up in jail, and you got friends that have gotten killed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just like, I don t wanna be that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for whatever reason, I thank God that he just gave me the vision to see what life would be tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I always said, whatever you do in your life today directly impacts what happens in your life tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just started working a whole bunch of odd jobs." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like most brothers in the hood I wanted to rap and I was in this recording studio one time and I met this" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "guy named Willie Will, Willie Will was a radio personality." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just asked him, I said, how did you get into radio?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, I just went down there and got an internship." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is 1998 in Charleston, South Carolina." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So things were a lot different back then, but I went down to the radio station, filled out the internship papers and got an internship." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was the most positive setting I had ever been in in my life." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just being in this corporate environment and having this corporate structure, it just really helped me a lot." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first time I ever cracked that microphone," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was just like, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So even when you asked me about, you know, being a cultural influencer, that s not something that I, you know, sought out to do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just always remember when my father, one of the first, the first two books my father ever gave me was on the autobiography of Malcolm X and Message to the Black Man by Elijah Muhammad." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Malcolm X always said, the person who controls the media controls the minds of the masses." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So being that I ve always had that thought in my head, I ve always attempted to do that." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve always attempted to be the perfect balance of ratchetness and righteousness, because I am a full human being." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I say full, because I don t think I m quite whole yet." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think whole is a journey that you get to when you really start digging in deep when it comes to your mindfulness and your mental health." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m getting to that journey of wholeness." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t know if I ll ever be whole, but I am full." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And being that I m full, I have a wide range of interests and a wide range of things that I m into." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like I said, I like to have conversations with everybody." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that reflects in what I do on the radio." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think that s where the influence comes from." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you ve got a mission beyond yourself, right?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "always said, you know, man hasn t found something or a person hasn t found something they re willing to die for or isn t fit to live." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve found your grace." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, so many times in the earliest stages in my own life, when I ve worked with other people, someone told me this when I was really just down and out, I was sleeping in my car, I was homeless." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this person I was talking to said, if you won t give up, your gifts will make room for you." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you just keep giving, you can keep finding a way to give." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you ve been doing that, brother." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s why you ve prospered." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me something, I respect you so much because you do talk to everybody." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw the other day you had Rush Limbaugh on and yet, you know, he s denying any form of systemic racism whatsoever." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand, you know, how some people think that they re being blamed, but that s not the message." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The message is there s a system that is suppressing our brothers and sisters." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you, how do you get through to somebody and you can t get through to everybody, obviously, but if you were going to try to send a message to someone who is dyed in the rule, thinking their race is greater," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or you want to get through to somebody and start to break down the systemic racism, what do you think are the steps that are in front of us?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you wouldn t keep on going unless some part of you, in spite of all the pain," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "knows that there is a way to get through this eventually, you know, we can t give up." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So tell me what s the belief that keeps you going and how do we attack this?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, what would you say to somebody to try to get through to them?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure you ve been successful before, you know, Daryl Davies, I mentioned to you before, you know, converted 200 KKK leaders to give up their entire approach." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t do it in one conversation, but he did it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So and you have that same power." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the reason I wanted you on the show." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I honestly deeply feel a love for you, brother, because I know what it feels like to lose those you love, so I understand that and the love that all of you, the losses you ve all been through and that America s been through, not just George Floyd, but you go through the list." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m asking you, I know you talk to other people." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me why you do it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me how do you reach them or the ones that you do break through, how do you do it?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we dismantle this mindset and this system of systemic racism?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think when it comes to systemic racism, I can t dismantle a system that I didn t create." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to having conversations with white people about it, it s so interesting." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was on a Zoom a couple of weeks ago." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a white brother on the Zoom who asked that question." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, how do we teach young white kids not to be racist?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because they re learning this in the home." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my immediate reaction was, it s not my job to teach young white kids how not to be racist." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my good brother, Michael Eric Dyson, was also on the Zoom." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Michael Eric Dyson said, Charlamagne, let me tell you something." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He teaches at Georgetown University." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, I teach a class on hip hop." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, in this class, they re talking, these white, he said it s 75% white, they re talking about you." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "they re talking about your interviews, you know, you come up in the conversation quite often." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So whether you re intentionally teaching them, you know, you are not, you are." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re just being yourself, but that s a teaching in itself." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So he said, you might as well be intentional about it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, you know, he reminded me of, um," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in the autobiography of Malcolm X and in the movie, you know, when Malcolm X was speaking at Harvard and, you know, that white woman, a white woman walked up to him and said, how can I help?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Malcolm X said, you can t." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Malcolm X said, you know, he always regretted that." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s just like, I would never want to miss out on an opportunity to use, you know, somebody s privilege in order to combat prejudice." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because that s what I always tell white people to do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Use your privilege to combat prejudice." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, like I said, I can t dismantle a system that I didn t create." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Only thing we can do is do what we re doing now." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, taking it to the streets, being loud about it, being vocal about it, saying things like, look," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, because if you ask me, man, I feel like this is really a divine reckoning." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like God is showing America everything from coronavirus and the way it impacted the black community." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all know it impacted the black community because all the underlying conditions that exist in the black community because of systemic racism, from watching another black man get killed in the middle of the street, from like Reverend Jesse Jackson saying earlier, we are going to control an election this year." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If Joe Biden doesn t lean into blackness in a real way," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "he probably won t get elected in November, you know, just because if you think about, in 2016, 4.4 million people that voted in 2012 stayed home, a third of them were black, because they just don t feel inspired, you know?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nothing energizing them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They feel like their hood and the black community have been the same for decades and decades and decades, regardless of who s in the White House." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can t call Donald Trump a devil." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because these people been living in hell." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So every single person that s in charge look like like like a devil to them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just feel like, man, God is is giving America a chance to do the right thing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And everything that s happening right now is a reminder to America and the world to do right by black people, because you have to get your karma right." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, I m using the line of color purple." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is no good that s going to come to America until they do right by black people." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s time for America to atone for its original sin." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which is slavery, and that s only going to happen through legislation and reparations, and America has to make amends for the wrong that it s done to Black people in this country." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If not, I just don t think America can handle the karma that it s currently experiencing." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really don t." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you think this year has been hell so far, you haven t seen nothing yet." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "America doesn t atone for the sins of its past if we all don t collectively get our souls right." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, when you hear people like Joe Biden say the soul of the country is at stake, that s very, very, very true." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we all have to get our souls right in order to move forward." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then regardless of his leaning in or out of that politics, there s also the local politics of who the district attorneys, who are the sheriffs." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we ve got to remember that the vote matters at all levels because sometimes we get choices at the top and none of us care on either side." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty crazy sometimes, but we got to realize our vote does matter in that area." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What gives you strength and hope to keep moving forward?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the message that you want all people to have that makes you believe that it can get better?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because otherwise you wouldn t be doing what you re doing, brother." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s some part of you, no matter how down you get, you keep on giving, you keep on going, you keep putting the light out in the midst of the darkness." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the belief that keeps you going and what makes you hopeful right now?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m old school." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m 41." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m an old school Southern brother." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I still believe in God." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know anything else." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really don t." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t go to college." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t have any degrees." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t have anything else to fall back on." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All I know is that I was taught to pray and I was taught to pray hard." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was always taught that, you know," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Regardless of what may be going on in your life, God will always get you through." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am the brother that absolutely believed in the story of Job." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am absolutely the brother that believed in the story of Noah." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even when things get hard, that s what I do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I drop to my knees." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I get bad news, I drop to my knees." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whether it s bad news about something that s going on in my life, bad news about something that s going on with a friend, family member, people that I don t know." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a praying man." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I come from a family of prayer warriors." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you ask me what s getting me through, it s always going to be God." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But boy, I ll tell you something." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gets harder and harder and harder and harder every day." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not gonna lie to you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gets so hard sometimes that you question your own faith, like in a real way." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you say everything happens for a reason, but boy, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really don t, but I m here until I m not." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, well, hopefully George Floyd, the reason there that we re seeing is finally hitting that tipping point with everyone, that there s enough people there." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m encouraged to see so many people of every color out there marching and everybody having the conversation that s never happened at this level before." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Listen, we ve gone way beyond." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just want to, since we all be together and Anne s back with us as well, a couple of quick questions, if you would." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you had one core message that you wanted white America to understand or to appreciate" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "any of you just what s the core message as we have our final moments together you want them to leave with you think can move their heart if it s already moved or if their hearts move move their feet in a way and their their hands in a way and their wallets in a way and their behavior in a way that makes America the unified place that it is because when we talk about divisions and we can talk about everything but anger rarely it can open us it can focus us" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I don t know if you agree, my experience is the only thing that cures it long term is unity." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And unity is just a fancy word for love." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And when there s love, human beings treat each other incredibly well." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And when there s not, human beings can be evil." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So what is your message that you d like white America to hear?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Or what is the action you d like to call for?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Reverend Jackson, do you want to start?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re mic d." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, while he s unmuting, I ll just say this before I go." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that my request would just be for more curiosity." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing is when you re one up on a power dynamic, you have a lot of blind spots." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re one down, you have a lot of sore spots." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what that means is that when you re one down and you re hurting, you have to pay attention to that dynamic." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a woman," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "working with a bunch of men, you really know a lot about how gender works in that office." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a guy, you may not even be able to answer the question." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How does gender work?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, like Scooby Doo, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So wisdom accumulates at the bottom because when you re one down, those sore spots force you to pay attention and to learn." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re one up, you know, and it s not even a moral thing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in a car, wherever you are in that car, you have certain blind spots." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem that we have is the people who are one up on race do not know that they do not know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They do not know that they do not know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They think that they know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the first step has to be maybe there s something in my blind spot." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If this many people are marching and demonstrating, either all these black people are lying and lazy," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and up to no good, or maybe there s something in my blind spot that I can t see." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the power of curiosity, of assuming you don t know everything, assuming you can t know everything, and that your position, just like when you re driving a car, your position in that car will determine what you can see and what you can t see, I think opens it up for more wisdom to be shared throughout the system." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "lynchings in 70 years." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Alabama 361, Arkansas 492, Florida 311, Georgia 637, Kentucky 168, Louisiana 549, Mississippi 654, South Carolina 123, North Carolina 185." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "There was no cameras." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s this lynching business." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "driving us from South to North, from South Pomona, Charlemagne, to North, is his old system." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And we got to fight this thing and do it every day." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And Tony, I appreciate this conversation." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "My brother, Charlemagne, I want to spend some time with you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Charlemagne, can I do this?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I would love that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "That d be my pleasure." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We got it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I ll talk with Tony s producers." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "They re such a special guy." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And the guy from CNN, man, he doesn t love me anymore, but I love him." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I love him more than the other guy." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Last comment, Derek, and then we ll Charlemagne." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We ll finish with Barbara, and we re set to go." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you all." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, Fannie Lou Hamer, Mississippi civil rights activist, she gave a speech, and she talked about the nature of the South." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she talked about being from Sunflower County, and no matter what happens, as long as white people in that county had their foot on black folks neck in the ditch, they were both in the ditch." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s the reality where we are." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As long as we allow racism to exist, long as we use the tools of otherness as a mechanism for political advancement," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we will continue to be in this same ditch." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The real question for white America as it is for black America, are we ready to get out the ditch?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are we ready to move forward?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are we ready to actually recognize that race is a social construct?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And as it is African-Americans today, it could be another group tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if we wanna continue that system, we are dooming our children to a future that s worse than the past that we re looking at." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we must walk together and recognize that this social construct must be blown up." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we need to build a more perfect approach so that all of us could be treated with respect and dignity." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because if not, as time go, things can shift and that s not what we want to see." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Barbara, any final comments?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What you want white folks to understand, to feel, to act upon?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Well, what I want is for them, there s a phrase that s used in the academic world, which of course I m half in right now, and that is the epistemology." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So basically, what process do you use that we" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "to process your knowledge and what you then stand for." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And what I ve been arguing is that with white folks, there s an epistemic dilemma between how they see the world versus how we see the world, how the gangster class sees the world." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So what I would say, I m sort of like what Van Jones was saying, and that is," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "We need them, I would like them to entertain the notion of having a new perspective." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "To believe that the way they looked at things, that there may just be another way to look at the world and to look at black people." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And like Van Jones said, as black folks" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "or as James Baldwin said, I ve had to outsmart white people my whole life." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "I ve had to know what they were about and what they were thinking, but they don t know anything about me." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "It s time for white folks to know something about us, a new perspective." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That was, again, the entire purpose of this conversation." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My hope is that will people be reached by the rawness and realness of all of you, your life experience," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and your willingness to share and your willingness to still find a way to move towards solution." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And every one of you would have the right to be enraged 24 seven and not have any opening in your minds, but you all are leaders and trying to find that place of balance and level or brotherhood again." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Charlemagne, to clean it up, what would you like white folks to know?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What do you want the world to know?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What do you want them to do, brother?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh man, you know, I think as long as we live under a mechanism of white supremacy," }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to always be oppressed." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s the whole point of systemic racism is for America, America to keep his knee on the neck of black folks, you know, institutional racism is going to always exist because you always have individuals who are prejudiced in positions of power." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "systemic racism will always exist because you got certain policies and practices that just run deep in society, really deep in America." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, until you have white people who want to use their privilege to combat prejudice and who are intentional about dismantling the mechanism of white supremacy, I m just not sure things will ever change." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m really not." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I m keeping hope alive." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "as the Reverend Jesse Jackson said, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to be intentional about it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This can t be something that we move on from two weeks from now." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "White people that have that power and they have that privilege, they have to" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "relinquish a lot of that." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, it s the same thing with men when we re in spaces with women, we have that male privilege." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have to relinquish that power and that privilege." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, I don t even like the term making space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People like to say that making space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, oh, this is all God s space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I don t like to say make space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, let s share what God has here for all of us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can t make space for you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God already made the space." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let me learn to share it." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "with you, you know, cause I don t want to look down on you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t want to look up at you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to look, you know, right into your eyes." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So yeah, I think we just got to be intentional about." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "dismantling all of these wicked systems, man, but especially the system of white supremacy and systemic racism." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because even when you talk about the Book of Revelations, everybody s like, oh, it s the end of the world." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t think it s the end of the world." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just think it s the end of a system." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s the end of a wicked system." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So once again, leaning back to God, that s what gives me hope, that there are systems that come to an end, and God-like great systems take their place." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think this is one of those times." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want you to know just I m one human being." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m certainly not everything, but it s these conversations that can open people s eyes and hearts." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s these conversations called to the spirit of the soul of a human being." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we all, we want anybody we love to suffer and we re part of the same family." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re going to also work to put this in schools." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so that your voices will be heard from the raw, real place they are, both with the concern and the pain and the hurt, and also the way forward." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not an easy way." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a straight line." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nothing in nature that s a straight line." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see a straight line, a human drew it." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, nature is up and down and around, but it feels like, and I sure pray to God that it is for all benefits, for all humanity," }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that we ve hit that tipping point, we move forward." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have sincerely apologized to all of you, not for me, but for any white person that s ever suppressed or pushed back or not shown you the love or respect that each of you deserve as just the dignity of being a human being." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I thank you for all the fights you ve pushed through." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thank you for your perseverance." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thank you for your taking the time today out of your busy time to schedule your deepest feelings and share those and to share what you think are ways forward." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just hope that what comes out of this conversation for people is more compassion, more unity, more connection, more love." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we step in each other s shoes, then we can t let this continue." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m grateful that we re at this point where even technology is allowed." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I saw somebody write that racism isn t increasing or decreasing." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just being filmed more." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bring that mirror directly to people s faces." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there is goodness in all humans of all colors, all races, all backgrounds." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re part of the same family." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of you have contributed so much in your lives already." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My prayer is that you ll continue to do the good work you re doing." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I hope you all know that you can call upon me in any way I can help you or your family, or Charlemagne, a friend like that in the future." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m dedicated and devoted to your well-being as I would any other brother or sister on the planet, but especially all of you that have been through so much and have given so much back." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Bye-bye." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Tony." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_05\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, everyone, we join you with heavy hearts today, as I know so many of you have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re into the 11th day after the loss of a dear brother, and the whole world saw it, witnessed it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They witnessed the murder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s undeniable what happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the beauty, the only beauty that I can find is that people of all colors, of all races, of all religions, of all backgrounds, all over the world have rallied forth to not let this time pass and to make sure that we create not only some healing here," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but some real change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And often I talk to people about change and, you know, change is automatic, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to work on change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change is going to occur." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our bodies are going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The world s going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our environment s going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our families are going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything s going to change as time goes by." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change is automatic, but progress is not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so this is a conversation today to see if we can t create some progress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so privileged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was feeling so much pain for our brothers and sisters and thinking, what can I do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just one voice, a white man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m fortunate to have some beautiful friends that are great leaders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they happen to be African-American as well, but they re just great leaders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re conscious leaders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re people who are passionate and focused on true justice, but also are heartfelt in their approach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I decided, what if I reach out to a dozen or so of these people, and some I didn t personally know, see if we can get them to join." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thought maybe three or four would join, and we have an embarrassment of riches." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have 10 extraordinary leaders here, and I want to introduce them to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then our format will be, after I ve introduced briefly who they are, we re going to go one at a time for about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "three, four, five minutes and have them just share with us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t want to just say I ve already said it off camera, I just want to thank all of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m honored to be in presence and so grateful that you re willing to share your experience, but our hope is to have them share their experience of what this is all about, what they want all of us to know, maybe not have these experiences to not only know, but to appreciate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most importantly, it s called, what can we do to make real progress?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can we do to make lasting change that truly matters and change the quality of life and ends this nightmare that s been going on for more than decades, for centuries plus, for African Americans and for others of different races and different colors and different creeds and different backgrounds and different religions?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really about not pointing fingers here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really about what can we do to bring back unity and love and compassion and connection to one another." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what can we do to move forward?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s going to be a journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t know where this is going to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a trip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A trip is predictable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we ve got some amazing souls, and I want to introduce them now so you know who will be joining us here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But our focus is going to be sharing their experience, understanding what maybe some of us intellectually understand, hopefully emotionally understand, because that s when we re changed, and then talk about some of the solutions that are there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me introduce the panel for starters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, thank you for joining us, for coming in here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first panelist is Terrence Floyd, the brother of this experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t even know how to describe what he s been through with his brother, George." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the last moment here, he s going through the wake right now and the emotion of putting his brother in the grave has overwhelmed him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So he s not going to join us now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll hopefully follow up with him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what we also have here is Benjamin Crump, who s obviously extremely famous for his ability to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "represent families like Michael Brown, like Trayvon Martin, and he s dedicated his entire life to holding powerful people accountable for taking advantage of those with less power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Benjamin, it s a privilege to have you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have Laura King, who is a friend of mine, I ve known for a few years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s the founding executive director of the Rodney King Foundation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Laura, great to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s also Rodney King s daughter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So again, you have people here that aren t talking intellectually about this experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s affected them at the deepest part of their core." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or one of the things that I love most about you is the amount of time and energy and effort you put to make your life about positive race relations in spite of what you ve been through and achieving social justice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next, we have Martin Luther King III." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Martin and I have been friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know Martin for about 10, 12 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He came to Fiji for a date with Destiny one time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, well, that s a very powerful name." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I realized he was the eldest son of Greta Scott King and Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You, brother, are, you know, you re not just a global human rights activist, but you re really the ambassador of your father s legacy of nonviolent social change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re really excited to hear what your thoughts are today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you for being here, Martin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you, John." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we have Sabrina Fulton, who experienced what no human should have to go through, much less any mom, the loss of her 17-year-old son, Trayvon Martin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she also, rather than just living in pain, she s really committed her life to transforming her tragedy into some form of social change that really matters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s going to give us the unique experience as a mom" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of what this means and what she s been able to do to help others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m really excited to hear from you, Sabrina." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next, we have Doc Rivers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Doc, most of you, I m sure, know NBA All-Star Coach of the Year, was coach of the Boston Celtics when they won in 2008, and now heads one of the most amazing teams in the league, the Los Angeles Clippers, which hopefully you ll have your season finished and be able to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we ve got some bigger issues to deal with here today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I want to thank you, Doc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Doc has a unique experience because his dad was a police officer for 30 years in the Chicago Police Department." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Doc, really, really appreciate you joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then we have a dear friend, Amanda." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have so much respect for Bishop T.D." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jakes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a global humanitarian." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s the founder and bishop of the Potter s House." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His church is non-denominational." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s multicultural." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, you know, it s based in Dallas, Texas, but a man s reach is worldwide, and he s a force of nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to have you, Bishop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next, we have a really unique soul and I got to, I guess I met him at the Clinton inauguration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I met him backstage, he s a musician there, but I didn t know his story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Daryl Davis is an R&B and a blues musician." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s an activist, he s an author, he s an actor, he s a band leader." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But his story is incredible and it s, to me, it s one of the most inspiring for all of us to see that change can happen because we ll have him share the story, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He began with a chance encounter with a white man who probably would never have connected with him because of his music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ll have him share the story in a bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He eventually became friends with this man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was a Klansman." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he, through his ability to get through human to human, soul to soul, spirit to spirit, got this man to give up being a Klansman and even give him his robes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that started him on a 30-year journey, where now he s helped over 200 Klansmen, a lot of leaders there, leave the Klan just by his ability to reach out and connect and use his heart and his soul and his intelligence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Daryl, we love and respect you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we have Scott Shepard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Scott is a friend who Darryl had the ability to get through to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a former Grand Dragon, national leader of the Ku Klux Klan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They eventually became friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now he s an anti-racism activist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for people who think that people can t change, especially people that are so conditioned, I mean, you think that a Klansman can become an anti-racism activist?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these two have become dear friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Scott, I really want to thank you for your courage," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "willingness to change and for your joining us here today as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you, sir." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very, very pleased to be here and be a part of this program and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re speaking to Daryl Davis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Daryl Davis is my brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You guys are hope for all of us to say the least." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we have another dear friend, Dr. Michael Beckwith, who s founder of Agape International Spiritual Center." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, Michael is just, he s nothing but love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s just such a source of love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Agape has outreach programs here on our line because all the work we do for the homeless and for" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "incarcerated individuals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know he cares about the planet, but his center has got people of every religion, every color, every background, background there in LA, and just such a force for good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to have you, Michael." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then Reverend Jesse Jackson will be joining us later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He had an issue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He couldn t join us at the time, so we ll introduce him afterwards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He sends his love to all of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wish he could participate in the group part of it, but he ll be here to share his insights as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re also, if we have time, we have a" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "An officer that has joined us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a 10 year veteran of the Santa Monica station." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a friend of Laura King and I want you to understand a little bit about his history because we get the chance to see His perspective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think when you look at him, you know, we all have giant bullshit meters, you can feel what s real and what s bullshit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think you ll see this man s got a great heart and he has a unique history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many people think he s active as a racist because he s a police officer and he actually is married to an African American woman and has, you know, interracial children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So hopefully we ll be able to catch a little bit from him as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s a full docket." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to thank you all one more time for the patience to be here together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want to, since Terrence can t join us," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to come back here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re talking offline initially with Benjamin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it okay, Ben, if I call on you to share what the family s experience has been and the message they want shared?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would that be appropriate?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Certainly, Tony." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much for having me, and thank you all for your prayers for the family of George Floyd." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I was telling Bishop Jakes earlier, they re getting ready to have a wake." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was always difficult things when you, it sets in that this really is real, that you re going to put them in the ground." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you want to believe, as I m saying, Sabrina Fulton knows all too well that it s just a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to wake up and it s not real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the tragedy of the killing of George Floyd is real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in a different kind of way because we have all saw the documentary of his death literally narrated by him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, he, for not one minute, not two minutes, not three minutes, not four minutes, not five minutes, not six minutes, not seven minutes, not eight minutes, but almost nine minutes, he is starving for air." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is begging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s saying, I can t breathe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t breathe, and the police officer has his knee on his neck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is so desperate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He literally, at one point, calls out for his mama." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just astonishing when you think about that, because in our most desperate times, I think most people still think, who is my first protector in life?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is your mother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember Reverend Al asked me about his mother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I told him his mother was deceased, it shocked him because he was saying that he s calling out for her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that was absolutely utter desperation, knowing that you are losing consciousness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can tell that it s ending for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And literally at the end of the video, as painful as it is to watch," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here, you hear him say at the end, I m gone now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just unbelievable, because Martin, they don t offer him any humanity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, these are the police officers who will be trained to deal with de-escalation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re supposed to be trained to deal with conflict," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re supposed to be trained as first responders to save a life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yet, they re the ones escalating it, and it s the lay people who are on the street that we hear on the video saying, you re killing him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take your knee off his neck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s hard to even think about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I always count the minutes out because I want it to be dramatic for people to understand how they tortured him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, this was torture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I think you have the riots erupt in the cities all across America, because we have saw far too often that when" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "white police kill black people, normally nothing happens to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we sweep it under the rug and we create a hashtag and the families are left broken hearted with no answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is different, we believe, Tony, because we saw that video." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll say these two remaining things in my opening remarks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the fact that we had an autopsy performed on the family s behalf that contradicted the autopsy that was performed by the county s medical examiner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Dr. Michael Biden, a noted forensic pathologist and a very sharp sister named Dr. Alicia Wilson, who s the head of pathology and forensic sciences for the University of Michigan concluded" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these two things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, the main cause of death medically was mechanical asphyxiation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they said that was because of the knee on his neck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we see how he was, I mean, just crushing his knee into his neck as he s turning his head, trying to get breath, obstructing his ability to take in air." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the two knees on the back by another officer" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that was compressing down on his lungs that would not allow his lungs to contract so they can take in and dispense air and it interrupted the blood flow to his brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so those were the medical causes of death." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The legal cause was homicide." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is important, as we know, in the criminal prosecution, because we have to establish that his death was not natural, because that s the only way you can charge somebody with homicide." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in this instance, it contradicts what the County Medical Examiner said, because they are trying to suggest, very similar to Eric Gardner, Tony, who said," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reverse in Staten Island, New York, that there was some underlying unknown health condition." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that caused his death, and they tried to say that he had congenital heart failure, which is asinine because George Floyd was walking just fine, he was talking just fine, he was breathing just fine, until these police officers put him face down with handcuffs and literally suffocated him by the force of his knee and the knees to the back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what really needed to happen" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was they needed to give him a breath." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He needed a breath, and he would have lived." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m asking everybody, along with George s family, let s take a breath." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take a breath for peace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take a breath for justice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s take a breath to try to heal our country, but most importantly," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take a breath for George Floyd because those police officers did not give him that breath." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you, my brother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can only imagine the pain, because I know you know the family directly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know Terrence was going to join us here, and hopefully we will touch him in a few days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can only imagine the pain he s going through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as you said, the shock is that you d actually go to bury your brother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what the family, what Terrence, want us to know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what they want us to know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "About George, what would they want us to know also about the kind of man he was, who he is?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then secondly, what would they want people that are protesting and people out there to know about violence versus nonviolence?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I know he s spoken up about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d love to hear your perspective on those two items if you d share them with us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, thank you for being here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "George Floyd has a big extended family, which is the experience of many African American families in America." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His mother was the matriarch of his family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has six brothers and sisters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he has five children and one three-year-old granddaughter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so he was beloved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They described him as a gentle giant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They said he would light up a room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He just had that personality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that people love George." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "George loved people and people just loved George, no matter what the situation was, who the person was, whether you were, you know, a very successful person or whether you were a person down on your luck on the street." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They said George would treat you all the same and he would always try to say a kind word or two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s who George was then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is hard for his family if you get a chance to see the memorial service in Minneapolis, when his brothers Philonise and Rodney and his nephew Brandon, who was like a son to him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because they all grew up in the same household, what they had to say about how their family only had each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t have much, but they had each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now George, who was one of the older siblings, was just a role model for everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was an all-star athlete in both basketball as well as football." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He went to college on scholarship on his athletic abilities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the fact that he" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was constantly trying to do better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everybody, he wasn t perfect, but he was always striving to try to improve himself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this video of his horrific death leaves his family, Tony, wanting justice, first and foremost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "they want justice and other than Trayvon Martin and I know my" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dear, dear friend, I consider her a family member, Sabrina Fulton, Trayvon s mother, on the conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I cannot remember a time since Trayvon where you had these many people galvanized saying, we seek justice because we know what happened to this individual was unjustifiable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and the people need to be held accountable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the fact that this is an opportunity that goes beyond George Floyd and getting justice, but it s a chance for all of us to be able to achieve justice as a society." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do I mean when I say that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unfortunately, and we re speaking truth to power." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m civil rights lawyer, I ve represented" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dozens and dozens of families of black and brown people who have been killed by the people who are supposed to protect and serve them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what we have encountered in America, and this is just a reality, that there seems to be two justice systems in America, one for black America and one for white America, where the goal should be equal justice for the United States of America." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We haven t gotten there yet after 401 years since African-Americans first arrived on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So therefore, hopefully, with George Floyd beyond holding these four officers accountable for his murder, because that was murder, George Floyd and many of the social justice reformers" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope to overcome the enemies of equality to get true systematic reform in the way that we won t have these two justice systems in America and we can go back to what I always like to talk about and that is Thurgood Marshall, my personal hero, saying that we all have to look at" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with the Constitution and what it means." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said the basis of the Constitution was simply this, that a black baby born to a black mother, the most impoverished black mother, the most inarticulate black mother, the most uneducated black mother, has the same exact rights as a white baby born to a white mother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the most educated white mother, the most articulate white mother, the most affluent white mother, just by virtue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of that baby drawing his first breath as an American." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, just as Martin said, I know that s not the case, Tony, but he said, I challenge anybody to say that s not worth fighting for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I challenge anybody to say that s not what makes America great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I challenge anybody to say that s not what makes America the great beacon of hope and justice for all the world to marvel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in conclusion, when we fight for the Trayvon Martins of the world," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most importantly, when we fight for the unknown George Floyd and the unknown Trayvon Martin, what we really are doing is helping America live up to its creed of being that great beacon of hope and justice for all the world to marvel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But most importantly," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Reverend Beckwith and Martin, what we re doing is helping America to be America for all Americans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is the goal for all of our children." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want a better America for them to have because some of us don t get a chance at the American dream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so well said from the heart, from the soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My only prayer and hope is I m hearing people that have never spoken up before in this situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m hoping that we finally, as I said, hit that tipping point, that threshold where it s not enough is enough for everybody inside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we re seeing that not only here, but we re seeing it even brothers and sisters around the world joining in on this issue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re right it s this is what America really is in its soul and spirit it needs to live up to what its standards are for all human beings and no matter color race background religion or anything else tell us um but as I started to say I see huge companies now that would never enter the you know fray and talk about things like this uh Mark Benioff of Salesforce is always doing things like good friend of mine but I m seeing people that have never spoken up companies that have never gone there and that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we start to get corporations, individuals of every walk of life, I think that s where we ve got the opening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I know the family has expressed they want, you know, justice, but they want peace and and they want to see peaceful change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can you tell us about their message around peace and what can you tell to those that maybe are" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "taking advantage of the environment, because we have people out there expressing their heartfelt concern and focusing the energy of the world on this issue by their rightful protests." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we have some people that are going out of their rage, and some people, it appears, from other places coming in and destroying the very community that we re trying to support." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s their message coming from the family, from Terrence and the family, that we want people to hear as far as that s concerned as well?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, Tony, and I m sure as Laura King" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "could probably express when her father said, can we all get along?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When his family talks about George, they talk about the videos he put out on social media at the Ferguson with Michael Brown when it was burning, at the Baltimore, at the Freddie Gray" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "was having riots after Stephon Clark very recently in Sacramento, California." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he put out messages praying for peace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, he was a very spiritual person and people talk about how he would pray for peace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "George Floyd s family would say, let s follow the example of George." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want you to protest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was a big LeBron James fan because not so much what LeBron did on the court always, but how he used his voice as an activist to say, I have this influence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to use it to try to do good beyond just a basketball court." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so George Floyd talked about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You protest, but you do it peacefully." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we should follow the example of George." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, I say, let s take a breath." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s just take a breath to try to heal our country." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Take a breath." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to try to get peace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s take a breath to try to get justice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But most importantly, let s take a breath for George, because he needed that breath." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think right now, America needs a breath too, because none of us can breathe after watching that video." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and stacking on the Eric Garners of the world, the Michael Browns, the Breonna Taylor people coming in and shooting in her own bed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s total insanity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for your voice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you re gonna have to leave and perhaps join us later on, but thank you very much, Benjamin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you sharing the family s point of view and the call for peace, but at the same time, the absolute call for justice and not willing to settle for anything less." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony, thank you for saying Breonna Taylor s name." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today is her birthday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s 17 years old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so thank you so much for not letting her name get lost in this conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for all those that you ve defended and put your life on the line for and for your courage, brother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a truly amazing man, and we all have enormous respect for you as a man, as a lawyer, and as a soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laura, I d like to come to you next if we may." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laura King, again, Executive Director of the Rodney King Foundation, the daughter of Rodney King, not somebody who has an intellectual view of this, you know, the riots in 1992 were after the unbelievable" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Savage beating that your father was taken by the police." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it was Will Smith said it s not racism that s happening more often It s just being videotaped, you know, and that was probably the beginning of that process as painful as it was It s brought us perhaps to this point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was 28 years ago So I really love to know what your perspective is on where things on and also how have you kept your compassion and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After witnessing this going on and on and on for 28 years, you know, you re incredibly compassionate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s one of the things I love about you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not about making everybody wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to bring people together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I d love to hear your point of view of what s your perspective on where we are right now and where we need to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, what would your father want out of this as well?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it was already said early, you know, famous phrase, he said, can t we all get along?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m just, you know, I m curious what conversations you think need to happen across" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "platforms of religion and race and people to try to make a real change happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So would you please share with us your perspective?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d love to take the credit, but I got to give it to the Lord." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because oftentimes I want to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "operate out of my ego." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to operate out of my hurt, my pain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s God s love for me that he forgives me every day, and I fall short every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So with that being said, I try to operate out of that same love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s extremely hard, especially when you re hurting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "especially when your dad never recovers the same from that night." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad never recovered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was never, although he lived, he died." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A big part of him died that night and we never got him back 100% mentally, emotionally, physically." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We went through so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He went through so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, for me, a big part of me wants to have hate, wants to have, I mean, you know, of course I experienced everything, but on a flip note, the common goal is for us to," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have a just system because we don t us as a community." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We we don t Although we live in america and it s supposed to be just it s not just and it s like, um an unexplainable feeling when the police are around for me even for me i ve never been in the jail i ve never been arrested, but I have a reaction that I can t explain um, and it s kind of embarrassing when you with other people because it s like uh, it s a natural reaction that no one should have to go through and it s like um" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That alone is sick to me, let alone, a lot of people don t know, but my dad was awarded with an amazing job that he was celebrating that night, a construction company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when he noticed the police were behind him, he ran for the same reason everybody else runs, and I m not justifying running, and I don t agree with what my father did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, he knew that his life was in jeopardy because he s witnessed," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The same thing we all keep witnessing that most likely he was gonna die that night." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he ran he ran into a Well-lit area and as much as he could and then he stopped and the part that bothers me the most is" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The part that bothers me the most is I wanna dislike cops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanna, however, I am blessed to have about four solid friends that are police officers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of my grandfathers was a Los Angeles sheriff and he s a great man." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can t say all cops are bad, but I do have a," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a hardening in my heart." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll be completely honest with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a hardening in my heart because they are of higher authority." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s no way that people s lives should be taken for the color of their skin or who they are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you haven t even gotten the chance to get to know these people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that, for me, that s sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m scatterbrained because I feel every emotion possible right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s just unfortunate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unfortunate that my dad had to run for his life as well as everybody else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when things get put to the light, that all these things of who they are or who the media or people think that they are get pulled to the forefront, not the fact that they are actually human, not the fact that they re actually beaten or killed or chased down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of these people don t even have a criminal record, but a lot of them are children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sad that this girl has to witness this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like something she can escape." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is something that, you know, a lot of us here will have to live with this forever because it s something that s on the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that we can t escape from." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can be in a middle of a conversation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have to hold it together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to be composed because it s like other people are not aware of who you are, who you re related to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s, to me, that s really sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But however, you know, we do serve a God that does serve justice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whether it s now, then, or whatever the case may be, that s the only thing that I have to hold on to, and I ll be completely honest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That and the snippet of the goodness of the world of the cops that I do know that are going out into the communities when they don t have a uniform on, that are getting to know the communities, that are giving insight, that are, I would say give pointers on not to die, but there s no, I can t, no one can give you pointers on how to live through a transaction with police or anybody else that is" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Racist or doesn t like who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way to prepare anybody for that because Nine times out of ten justice is not served which is unfortunate and I made the statement before and I m and I m standing by that please forgive me for this but Michael Vick got more time for killing dogs than people got for taking african-american men s life and to me, that s sick" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love animals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, but I m just saying to me, that s unfair and that s very unjust." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think we need." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hold each other accountable, have uncomfortable conversations, have, you know, police relations, go out in the community, get to know these people because everybody s not the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just like every nationality is not the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t judge African-American men." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then people wonder why they have a chip on their shoulder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As an African-American woman, I got to witness what my dad had to go through." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every day he walked out the door." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, you know, you re on high alert, you re tense, you have an anxiety, and you re expected to have a smile." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, that s a hard way to live as a Black man." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, that s hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, my dad was a very spiritual person, and he loved God, and he loved" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coming together people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had all races of friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had skinhead skinhead friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had surfer friends um, he was an advocate swimmer a lot of people don t know that and it s like for me, I just have a lot of um, It s a lot of holes that are in the system that is not fair for african-american for human life So it s like if we could and then he posed the question and a lot of people say it was a statement Can we get along it was actually a question" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was asking America, can we get along?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we stop making it hard?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s like, everybody s upset about the looting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s upset about the violence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I don t agree with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I understand what it s like to come from a hurting place and to be unheard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, what else do you do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "especially us of spiritual beings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re crying out for help to God, but at the same time, we re human too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just ask people to look at people as human beings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t even look at us as, I don t even know how to explain it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just in disbelief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sad that we have to keep watching the same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, I feel like personally, they re trying to make us, us as a community, they re trying to make us normalize this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not fair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not fair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one should- That can t be tolerated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, thank you for- I think it should be a sense of urgency." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for your grace under pressure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I, you know, first of all, I appreciate your total honesty in every way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How could your heart not be hardened by those experiences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet I see you as you say it even open heart more And you, you said one of the key ingredients here, which is we have to have an experience of each other as opposed to the generalizations that have been made that dehumanize us" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your experience with these police officers, as well as just your spiritual base, obviously is what has kept you through this and found a way to find balance in the middle of insanity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious, would you, you mentioned the police officers, I think that s when we go to Daryl Davis a little bit later, he s going to share how he turned around Ku Klux Klan men." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just sounds impossible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it was really, as he ll describe, the ability to build a relationship where you start to relate to someone as a human being instead of all the, you know, the human brain distorts, deletes and generalizes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We do that to make decisions more quickly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we were cognitive misers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then you get conditioning and people aren t born racist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, they re brought up in a certain way, and they start to get conditioned and reinforced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But all conditioned behavior can be deconditioned and changed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s time for that as a society, as you well know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can you tell us about Officer Gomez, for example, and what s unique about him that s touched your heart?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we were talking back and forth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You said, you know, that he s really touched your heart, and you hate seeing what he s going through." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are people that are judging him as a white man, as a police officer, instantly as a racist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve met him before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was good friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still good friends with his wife, who s happened to be an African-American female." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was in school, when I was in college, I took a black history course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was one of the students, like me, as well as his wife." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always admired him because he was very, his demeanor was very mild mannered, you know, really cool guy, really cool guy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have never thought he would become a police officer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not in a million years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was still friends with his wife." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And later on down the line, they became married, had kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he became a police officer, which was shocking to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then again, as time went on, it just made me have an understanding, again, from a human aspect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know him personally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what helped me have a little bit of faith, because I m like, I know what he does when he doesn t have the uniform on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he has interracial kids, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s unfortunate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And from the outside looking in, he just looks like, of course, he s not black." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like he gets crap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s sad that his kids have to, you know, it s like it s flipped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like he knows what it s like to be black." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "be black." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t mean to reference that, but you have to understand it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So he s at work and the looters are on him, you know, and it s just like his daughter, his son is asking my friend every night, like, is our dad going to get killed?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is he going to make it home?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To me, that s sad because I know who he is at the core, but America doesn t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we shouldn t be here because it s like, that s not his fault." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the higher authority." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, I feel like they just do minimum and then they send them out there to just fend for their self." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, what about the guys that are not killing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What about the guys that are good in uniform?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s really unfortunate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just unfortunate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he s a great guy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know it was hard for him to join us because I know that he s going through so much as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just commend him for coming today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know it was tough for him and his family." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he s working 12 and 14-hour shifts around the clock trying to protect us all, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you sharing that because we all judge people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all make judgments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the way the human brain functions, but we have to fight that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be how we re conditioned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be the survival brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re tribal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been tribal about politics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been tribal about religion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re tribal about color and race." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we re more than tribal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re humane." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re human." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a spirit and soul that goes beyond that two-million-year-old brain that s always looking for what to fight or flight or freeze." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s up to us to raise that consciousness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re extremely humble, Laura, because I know how hard you work to help in this area." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You make it sound like you re barely managing it when you re doing amazing work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really want to thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m excited to hear the full message with everyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s roll the video, if we may, please." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Good morning, how you doing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My name is AJ Gomez, and I want to say thank you for allowing me the opportunity to answer some of these questions that I ve been asked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Sorry I couldn t do it in the desired timeframe or have this open dialogue and discussion live." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Why did I want to be a police officer?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What drove me to be a police officer in the first place?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What is my why?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And to be honest, that has changed over the years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I ve been a police officer for 11 years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But what really made me want to be a police officer when I first started 11 years ago was the impact that police officers and law enforcement had on me as a child growing up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But up until now, what the badge and the shield mean to me today is doing the right thing right, being ethical, being professional, being there for the people that we serve." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I am a public servant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s no other way to say it, but I m a public servant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m here to serve the public." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "the city that I work for." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And when they need me, I go, you know, um, if there s a time of crisis and they need me, I go, I don t run." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Um, and I m not going to say, you know, that every law enforcement officer is a bad cop because we re not bad people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Um, but there are, there are bad police officers, uh, that make the wrong decision." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Um, but it s," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s other police officers jobs, like myself, who do the right thing right every day they go to work, to intervene and to step in and to remember the ethics that we were taught in the academy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if we don t intervene and we don t step in to make that decision or to stop anything from escalating, then we fail as a police officer as well, just as much as whatever they re doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Laura King is a good friend of our family." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "She s a good close friend with my wife." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I met Laura back in 2002 when we went to school together and we took an African-American history class, all three of us, my wife, Laura, and myself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But yeah, you know, it is very, very, very ironic, you know, when people try and pull the race card on me, not knowing anything about me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, you break it down and, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What is racism, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You just break the word down at its core." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s, you know, one person s belief that their race or ethnicity is superior over another." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So when somebody, within a few seconds of coming into contact with me, labels me as a racist," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, it does hurt because they don t know anything about me, but you got to have thick skin in this profession no matter what." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You got to dust that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You got to brush it off, dust it off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can t take it personal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, my closest and best friend here on the department is black, and more than half of my career we spent working together in a car." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So, you know, whenever we would contact somebody that would jump straight to the" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, I m a racist because I m white skinned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, my partner, the black officers and Uncle Tom, as they would call him right now, are a sellout." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We ve had this discussion plenty of times, him and I in the car, you know, our take and our perspective on things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And bottom line, you ve got to have thick skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve got to just bounce it off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "More often times than not, when somebody does pull that with me, my rebuttal is, you don t know anything about me, man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You don t know the fact that my wife is black, that my kids are black, my best friend is black." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I do break it down for them a little bit real quickly, but I don t get into it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t make it an argument." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You gotta be the same every time, you gotta be 100 every time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s it, come with the same approach, the same style, and just be who you are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because in the end, if you re gonna see that person multiple times, because they re in your city, or they live in your city, then they re gonna know that officer s cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "At the end of the day, bottom line, they re gonna vouch for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Your street credibility will go up amongst your community." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "People of color, they re gonna remember you, they re gonna respect you because of the way that you dealt with them, the way that you dealt with their family members, the way that you dealt with their friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s people that might have had a negative contact with a police officer 12, 15 years ago, before I was a police officer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then they come and they make contact with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I need to make sure that it s a positive one and do my job and let them know that it s not like how it was before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Everything s gonna be all right and we re in this together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was quite courageous, and I thank you for introducing us to him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s step into Martin Luther King III." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Martin, it s great to see you again after all these years in Fiji, a little date with destiny." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can only imagine what you re going through seeing this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, your father talked about his dream, what, you know, over half a century ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us if you would, you know, you devoted your life to nonviolent" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "change and you re seeing these, you know, riots also occurring and a lot of people are using your father s name and saying, you know, that they re using quotes of his a little bit out of context from what I understand anyway, but I d like to hear from you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where do you see we are and how are we doing on your father s dream and what has to change from your perspective?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d love to hear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you, Tony, for convening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "these distinguished ladies and gentlemen from around our nation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are honored to have just an opportunity to share." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yesterday, my wife, Andrea, and my daughter, 12-year-old daughter, Yolanda, journeyed to Minneapolis, not just to share condolences to the Floyd family, but to lift them up with love and light" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "as the thousands and maybe millions who watched the service yesterday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And certainly, perhaps the most propelling moments beyond the amazing presentation of Attorney Crump and the phenomenal remarks of Reverend Sharpton was the eight minute and 40 second period that we all stood up" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and silently, emotionally were thinking about this heinous and beyond imaginable crime that a human being who was supposed to protect and serve would put his knee on the neck of an African-American man, George Floyd." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And to see George Floyd constantly asking for help" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "is more than horrific and more than any of us should have to bear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That moment perhaps has galvanized the attention of the nation and the world like no other." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Victor Hugo used to say that wherever there is darkness, crimes will occur." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the guilty one is not merely he who commits the crime, but those who create the darkness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what I feel that means is that something my father said, it won t be what those who are adversaries do, but it will be the silence of our friends that is most disappointing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This opportunity, people are no longer being silent." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "52 years ago, black men had signs in Memphis when shortly before dad was killed saying, I am a man." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All they were asking was treat us with dignity and respect and like human beings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "52 years later, black people and white people" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Latino and Hispanic people and others are standing with signs that say Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, requesting dignity and respect and treating people like human beings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This police officer tragically lost his humanity and the other three that were with him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We know that we are a much better nation than the behavior we re exhibiting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I really believe that one of the things my father stated, yes, we ve seen a lot of violence during this period, or some violence, I should say." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Overwhelmingly, we ve seen nonviolent demonstrators." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, that s true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad said that violence is the language of the unheard, which means that he never condoned violence." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he understood, as I think many do around the nation and the world," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the conditions that have caused this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But yes, we can and will be better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is an opportune moment for the United States of America, because not only are the eyes of people all over the world on us, they are with us." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t remember a time when the world was protesting for an individual and really collectively for black people s injustice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because injustice anywhere, as Dad said, is a threat to justice everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, soon we will have to discuss the notion, where do we go from here?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad s last book was titled, Where Do We Go From Here, Chaos or Community?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are obviously in the midst of chaos, but humankind has to go to community." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we can t do that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "unless we are treating our fellow human beings in a humane and just and dignified way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Institutionally, we have to address racism." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad and mom" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "talked about triple evils of poverty, racism, dad said militarism, I sort of changed it to violence." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Poverty, racism, and violence must be eradicated from our society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This nation and the world can do that if we choose." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When ability meets will, there s almost nothing that we cannot do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to ensure" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that ability meets will." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this condition has created that level of consciousness, I believe, like none before it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I see women and men and families and children coming together in a constructive way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think the institutions have to change." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m glad to hear, Tony, you say that businesses are coming to the table because I honestly have not seen this happen before." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Business has to do a much better job because if business joins with community and with elected leaders and everyone, we will see a different America tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "when business says enough is enough and we re not going to take it anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That doesn t mean that people will have to resort to violence, but there s a constructive way, there s a humane, there s a dignified way that we can go through this process and change this system once and for all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the system has to be changed at its core." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Diversity, sensitivity, human relations training is needed from kindergarten through college." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That would create on its own a different human being, maybe a different police officer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, we have to do serious screenings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because police officers come from different places." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is not universal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are many, many good women and men who are police officers who protect and serve every day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s also that element of those who exhibit extreme behavior that create many of these problems." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are at a place where we have got to change." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ve got to change now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad used to say now is the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It actually has been long before now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now is really the time that people want to see some responsible action quickly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I spoke to a couple of congresspersons yesterday and a congressperson this morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s legislation that s being proposed to address racism for once and for all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that those who don t agree will agree that there should be a cabinet position, just as I think there should be a cabinet position to adjust poverty." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no way in the world that the United States of America, with all the resources we have, with a terrible economy right this moment, cannot address poverty, cannot address racism, sexism, homophobia, all of those issues." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are better than this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All we have to do is take those steps that need to be taken." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m getting chills hearing you speak." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your father speaks through you, and you have your own unique soul to add to it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know he and your mom would have to be so proud of you as a man and as a soul as you continuing this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the things they re talking about legislating that you think can make the difference, and what can we do to support that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think that some of the initiatives" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The chokehold in Minnesota is not obviously barred." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be used." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I first saw George Floyd, I automatically, before I saw the tape, I went to Eric Garner in New York just a couple of years ago." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we saw a policeman use a chokehold on him and was not, was prosecuted, but not convicted." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I immediately went there and said, what is wrong with our society that this continues to happen?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we can bar their ways." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I remember when we used to apprehend suspects without even doing harm to them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have the capacity to do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But our officers are trained to shoot and to shoot to kill." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that has to change, I believe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that community policing is certainly one of the issues, but some of this has to become legislation at the national level." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad and his team and others adopted and worked to help create public policy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we had a Civil Rights Act in 64, a Voting Rights Act in 65, Fair Housing Legislation in 68." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there needs to be policy, new policy presented." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as I said, Congress is presenting that policy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that directly addresses police misconduct and brutality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think the way we help is we need to be inundating our congresspersons, our senators, our president with emails, with text, and even the new tic-tac or tick-tock, whatever the videos are the kids are using now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every modality on the planet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We need to use, that s what we can do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t even have to leave your home to use that, to send it to our congressmen, our senators, our mayors, even our judges." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone needs to hear that we can, these are steps that we can take and we want you to take them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When the public hears and acts, as I said, ability and will creates action that we perhaps have never seen in our lives thus far." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once again, I think this, this is the moment we ve got so much momentum with so many people from all races, all backgrounds, all religions that see the insanity of this maybe for the first time because it s so in their face, but also it s I think it s the stacking effect that all African Americans have felt and experienced." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not everybody else has witnessed it directly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s, it s invisible to them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the stacking that you see with a, you know, Trayvon Martin or Michael Brown, you know, Eric Garner, you know, Taylor, Arbery, Floyd, I mean, the names go on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they ve, they ve also gone on, you know, no matter who we ve had in charge, you know, I d love to believe was just political change can make it happen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think many people are looking for leaders to do something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re those leaders." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, politicians, you know, go, they check the air and see what the sentiment is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not a leader." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of you are leaders." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You put yourself on the line." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do what s right, whether or not it s popular." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thank you, Martin, for being a source of that component." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe this is the time, you know, if you look at, I went through and made a list of just the last 10 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I looked back and said, let s go through the last four presidents." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s two of those administrations were Democrats, two Republicans, and we ve seen this continue to happen no matter who s in charge." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I really believe it s up to" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "us." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are better than this and we ve got to take this momentum and not let it die." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do we do so this doesn t die, so it doesn t die down after the protests are done?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do we do to make sure this momentum does not stop and once and for all we finally produce lasting change?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I don t see this stopping, first of all." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People are going to continue to demonstrate because people want action." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Obviously, people want it immediately." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is going to take a little bit of time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if there s responsible action, I thought it was a great step that the first officer was arrested." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s an even greater step that all officers have been arrested." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But convictions, a trial and conviction is going to take a while." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not going to happen shortly, but it will happen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "in a reasonable amount of time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I think the things that we have to do right now are organize, mobilize, plan, strategize, register, and vote." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This morning, we have an election in Georgia, and other places are having their primaries." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I went to vote, and actually, because I" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "because of the time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I stood in line three hours." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m going to have to go back." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Actual election day is Tuesday, but I wanted to early vote." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have never seen so many people in line early voting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That means people are engaged and doing their civic responsibility." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s not all we have to do, but we need a change in leadership." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there are many candidates who are offering themselves for public office who are going to help us lead this way so that that light becomes even brighter, illuminates in a very positive way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I think this is the most, we ve talked about elections being important." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is one of, if not the most important election in our lifetime, because we need, even at the commanding chief level, the president, we need a leadership" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "brings people together." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yes, law and order has to be abided by somehow, but you got to bring people together." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can t divide people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is not going to work." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That remedy is old." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is antiquated." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is doomed for failure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I guess my point is, I don t see an ending yet." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I see too many people around the world that are saying, America, how are you going to deal with this moment?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is the time we must act, and we will act." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we will not just get justice for George Floyd, but we will get justice for all Black people and all human beings, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s who we are as a nation." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t settle for less than who we are and what we re made for, souls and spirits as Americans." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now we re going to go to Suprena Fulton, again, Trayvon Martin s mom." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She lost her 17-year-old son." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of just living with the pain, she s dedicated her life to creating social change." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, a person has every right to live in rage." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure she s got to have some of that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But she wrote a life about her son s life and what an enduring life would be if you re resting in power." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just want to hear from you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The part, it s all heartbreaking." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "George Floyd, the part that was already mentioned when he s calling out for his mama, at the end, they re going to take me, they re going to kill me, mama." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anybody s got a soul that couldn t have their heart be crushed by that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for you, it s even more direct because you ve directly experienced that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your perspective as a mom?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "about what s going on here and what s happened to George Floyd, what happened to your son, and please tell us what your experience has been and what gives you hope, if anything, to create change, because I know you re dedicated to that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to say thanks for having me and thanks for allowing me to lend my voice." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I watched the video of George Floyd" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and he called out for his mother, it hit me differently from probably the average person." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The average mom who listened to that definitely cuts like a knife." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it just tugs at the strings of your heart just to hear somebody to call out for their mother because" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, when you get in a jam or you feel like you re slipping away and he probably felt like he was, his life was slipping away and he probably knew that he was gonna die, you either call Jesus or you call your mother." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so one of the things that I heard Reverend Sharpton say yesterday at the memorial for George, which, you know, tugged at my heartstrings again, Reverend Sharpton said that," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "George probably saw his mom and she reached out her hand to him." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, oh my God, that is so deep, you know, to know that you re about to die and know that your mother passed away before you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just for you to just yell out to your mom, like it hits differently when you re a mom and you hear somebody that s dying at the hands of somebody else." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It hurts." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It hurts." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hurts." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can only imagine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no words for it, but tell us if you would, from the perspective of your life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you hear when these things happen, you hear constantly that it s just a few bad apples." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s, I m sure, some truth in that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not the majority of officers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s 800,000 officers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s 18,000 police stations here in the United States." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And many of them and the vast majority of them are committed to make a difference." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the challenge that people don t understand is like the metaphor I try to give them as if, you know, if you had an airport where 100 landings happen every day and 98 make it and two don t, no one s going to talk about the great landings on the 98th." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to only remember the ones that don t because that s what penetrates us." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I know that there s so many different perspectives." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand your father, if I understand correctly, what s worked as a police officer in Miami." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, he s a retired police officer for the city of Miami." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when people were saying, oh, she doesn t like officers, she doesn t like guns, I grew up with a police officer in my house and he had guns." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I never feared police officers and I still don t." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But just because the person number one who shot and killed my son wasn t a police officer, he was a wannabe police officer." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the bottom line is, I m not afraid of police officers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, a lot of times we feel like if we just comply, that we ll be able to make it home safely." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, some of these people have been compliant and they still don t make it home safely." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s some of the things that we need to focus on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the times where they don t make it home safely, because you can have your hands up, you can obey commands, and you can do everything to comply with whatever the police officer is saying, and you still maybe get, you still maybe be shot and killed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and, you know, you, you were thrust obviously into the spotlight because of your son s brutal death." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What, I know you ve been a great voice for Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the real mission of the movement articulated for those that don t understand?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because some people think it s a violent movement and obviously it s not, that s not its essence, but I know you work to try to work on, you know, gun controls." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know you ve worked with Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please share with us what the mission is and what really is trying to be communicated to people of all races." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think people need to just stay focused on the bigger picture." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think had it not been the videotape and George Floyd s tragic death, we wouldn t see so much of the uprise because people tend to think that what did he do to cause" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This to happen to him." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we say we saw in the video that it was nothing that he did he complied." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was handcuffed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We didn t see a struggle." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We didn t see, you know, him resistant arrest." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We didn t see all of those things because they never happened." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People always try to justify somebody s death and even in my son s case." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They try to justify the death." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like when I think about this and I see this and if you have a heart beating in your body and you actually watched a police officer put a knee on somebody s neck until they could no longer breathe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you have to feel something." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to feel something within you that say, this is wrong." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I keep telling people, this is not about black and white." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not all the time about black and white, but we got to just focus on what s right and what s wrong." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was wrong to see that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so disrespectful to see a knee on someone s neck." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I tell people who," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "try to challenge me about certain things." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I tell those people, well, what if it was your husband?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if it was your brother?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if it was your son?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about, put your family member, your loved one in George Floyd s place." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How would you feel?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And people kind of get it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m glad there was a video there so we can see." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And people actually saw what African Americans have been experiencing for years." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People thought we were just complaining about something that really did not happen and something that was not still occurring in this United States." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s absolutely happening." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s absolutely happening where you have people of color being shot and killed and nobody is being held accountable." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it doesn t necessarily have to be a police officer, as in the case of Ahmaud Arbery." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those were not police officers." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those were vigilantes in the community." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they decided that he did some break-ins and I m going to chase him and I m going to get my shotgun and I m going to shoot him." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They decided that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have to stop that because people don t look at us for some reason as if we re human beings." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do we have to humanize George Floyd?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s already a human." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do we have to say, okay, well, tell us, tell us about George." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I don t have to tell you that he was a good son and he was a good father and he was a good, he still had no business being" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nobody s knee should have been on his head, regardless, even if he was a criminal." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If he was a criminal, then arrest him and take him to jail." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why kill him?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is not the place to decide if the person is innocent or guilty." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their job as police officers is to make the arrest." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wasn t resisting arrest." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why was he killed?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because of hatred." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because of racism, because of racial profiling, and all of those things." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s just the ugly truth of this country." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now a lot of people in the United States are forced to address these issues because there was a video, because they saw with their own two eyes what they really didn t want to believe." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we keep complaining about, what we keep bringing to the forefront" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Other people want to ignore as if it didn t occur because it didn t happen to me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t happen to my family." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t happen in my community." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Therefore, it didn t happen." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, the ugly truth came out with George Floyd." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People were able to see what African Americans have been experiencing for years." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talked to so many people of, you know, white people and" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very often, they just don t understand because they don t have an experience." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always tell people, a belief is a poor substitute for an experience." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you can believe something about China, you go to China, you believe something about a person of a different race or religion or background, but then you have the experience of them." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, again, Scott Shepard and Daryl Davis are a perfect example of that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that they got to know each other as humans." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what do you see as the solution?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, what I try to say to my friends and people who don t have an experience, you know, friends of all colors, races, backgrounds, countries, I traveled 100 countries, you know, doing my work." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I see people in every culture." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what they don t understand is the experience of literally when that police officer is behind them, a person being deathly afraid that they could die or that their son or their daughter can t." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do you want" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White America to understand and appreciate that they ve never appreciated before that this moment maybe gives them an opportunity to do so that their hearts are called to so their souls are called to." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we put an end to this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think what s happening now is African Americans usually talk to other African Americans and" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are talking to each other." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re preaching to the choir." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We already know what we have to experience." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We already know what our sons and daughters have to experience." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now it s other people that are able to see what we have been experiencing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think through that video, it kind of changed mindsets." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s something that s very necessary that we have to do." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got to change mindsets." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got to open up people s mind." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can t just talk amongst ourselves about what we re experiencing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to talk to other people about what we re experiencing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People are never going to..." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re never gonna feel what we feel as African-Americans, but you certainly can be compassionate." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can certainly support us based on what you saw." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I know it s not gonna change the world." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know it s not gonna miraculously change somebody s life and, oh, I m changed forever." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But at least we see progress with them standing together with us, with us joining forces" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, people really didn t believe what was going on here in the United States." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I visited Switzerland." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I visited Africa." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I visited... People don t really understand." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t understand." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, really?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that happening here?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, it s absolutely happening here." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But a lot of people didn t believe it because they didn t see it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With that video, they were able to see it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were able to see that this was a police officer who is supposed to protect and serve is taking lives." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He took a life." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a loss of life." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the things that I want to work on right now, I m running for Miami-Dade County Commissioner." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the things that I want to work on as a commissioner, I want people to join me because when George Floyd was on the ground," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "deceased." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can guarantee you during that autopsy, they did a drug and alcohol testing on him, and they even did the COVID-19 virus testing on here, and they also did a background check." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what about the police officer with the gun?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did they do a background check on him?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They pulled up his record after the fact, because so many people were questioning his background or his record as a police officer." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did he receive a drug and alcohol test?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, there has to be a law." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whenever there s a loss of life, people are too comfortable with shooting black and brown people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re so comfortable." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They go home and get in their beds." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look what happened in Brunswick, Georgia with Ahmaud Arbery." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those three guys, after he was dead on the ground, they went home and got in their beds." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing happened to them for months until we started protesting, until we started speaking out." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "until we started making comments and causing a few problems." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, now they re arrested." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then the same thing happened with Breonna Taylor, who was shot in her own home." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They arrested the boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how could that happen?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s insanity." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They arrested the officers." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But guess what?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The officers took their smoking guns and went home and got in their beds." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, with" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "George Floyd, that police officer, when he finished and George was dead, they went home and got in their beds." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can that happen when there s a loss of life?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, if Trayvon had shot the person who killed him, Trayvon would have been arrested right there on the scene." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right there." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If Ahmaud Arbery had shot the person who shot him, he would have went to jail on the scene." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If George would have shot the police officer who put his knee on his neck, George would have went to jail day one right there on the scene." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So why is it different standards and different policies on a universal level for African-American people and people of color?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no excuse for it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only thing I can hope and the reason we re having this conversation is, you know, when problems are so big, the human mind gets overwhelmed and we try to just kind of disassociate from it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you hear about war in Bosnia and people killing each other massively, people just disassociate." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you can follow the story of one family, one person, one individual, one child, it can penetrate people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter what your color is." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s fortunately what s coming out of the situation so far." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have, you know, about 50 million people that are following us here on our social media, and they re all people that care." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, we re going to spread this and we re going to talk more about these solutions here as well." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really thank you for your passionate voice." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And count on me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can reach out to me afterwards." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll reach out to you about supporting you and your move here in the political environment here, because God knows we need voices like yours and hearts and souls like yours." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t understand intellectually, but in your soul, your gut, your pain has driven you to still find a way to contribute rather than give up." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I honor and respect you for that so much, Sabrina." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to go now to Doc Rivers." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doc, again, most of you know, I m sure would know Doc is the head coach of Los Angeles Clippers and he s been an all star athlete himself in the" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "80s you and I are contemporaries in age I think are you 58 is that right yeah I just turned 60 so we we ve lived through some of the same era so I d love doc I mean you have a unique perspective because you know athletes black athletes in this country are cherished and honored and then they take off their uniform and they go in places and they can be treated like" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Shit." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the nicest word and come from it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sorry, but it is." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just absurd." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d love it if you d share with us." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, I know your father, I mentioned earlier, was a 30 year veteran from the Chicago Police Department." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So yeah, you have both sides of it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I d love to hear." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you ve been in Europe, by the way, I have tremendous respect for you." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have so much emotion." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve seen you communicate and you move people because you re moved." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You touch people because you re touched." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us if you would, you know, as a voice for civil rights and as a man that, you know, deals with people and players all the time, professionals, how are they taking this and what s your perspective on where we are and what needs to happen and what s, what do you see happening to these beautiful souls, these athletes that one minute are honored, another moment they re treated horrifically." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s a lesson Tony for all of us, you know, especially in the athletic world." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tell our guys all the time." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live in in a fake world." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live in an unreal world when we have our uniforms on and then when we take them off." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if we re not dressed right or they don t recognize you, then we go back to being black, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they do see both sides of it, Tony." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this whole thing for me as a coach of 15 black men has been another teacher." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m humbled, number one, to be on this panel." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a mother of a slain son, a brother of a slain brother, and a son of a slain father." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we keep hearing, you know, from what I hear from my athletes a lot." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is, you know, I m tired of this." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Enough is enough." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, Martin talked about the time is now." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you think about his dad talked about the time is now, you know, my dad was a police officer." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad was the coach of the Little League team in the neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a coach of the basketball team and a football team." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when he drove around the streets, everyone said, hi, Mr. Rivers." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hi, Sergeant Rivers." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They knew he was." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was part of the community." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that helped." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, you know, I keep hearing about this conversation that we should be having." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as a black man, we ve been having this conversation." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been having this conversation for so long." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what we need is action." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to change habits." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, we need education." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I asked my players, and I ve asked a lot of people, a lot of white business owners, would they work for their business for free?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for five years." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they all said, well, of course not." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what about 10 years?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where all the money went to the guy who owned the business?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they say, of course not." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what about 50 years?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they said, of course not." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t do that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you make your kids then work for that same company where the owner got all the profits?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you say, of course not." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s slavery." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s 260 years of that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that 260 years, when they were finally free, then you had segregation and Jim Crow." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How far do you have to be behind?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re working in the deficit in so many ways." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the worst thing about slavery, other than all the money that we raise, the generational wealth that blacks have raised, for whites, it s more the education." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we have not been able to educate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for 200 years, 250 years." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was illegal for us to educate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I share these stories with my players and I share these stories with others so we can educate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "50 years ago, if you went to the South or even the North and you opened a history book, there was nothing about slavery in the history books." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are slaves in the country that we were slaves in." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it is embarrassing to talk about it, but we have to talk about it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to educate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to humanize ourselves." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we are dehumanized in so many ways." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see the white cop in Dallas that mistakenly walked into an apartment building and didn t say it was her place and killed a man, and you saw the judge come off the bench." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and hug him, hug her, and you saw people give her all this love, and that s great." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel compassion for everybody." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when a black boy goes to jail for, you know, a little bit of weed, and he s in there for 10 years, they don t tell his story." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t say that this kid grew up in poverty." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, unequal education, and he was hopeless and joined the game because he saw no other hope." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, like, we have to do more than have a conversation." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we have to take action and we have to change habits, but we have to educate." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And education is so important, not just for whites, but for blacks as well." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to educate ourselves." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not talking about school education." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about education on how we got here." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s where you ll start having compassion." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this is not a black thing." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a human thing." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we have to have humanity." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I find it interesting, and I think Martin said it, that this is the first time that he ever saw that not only in this country, but all around the world, they re protesting." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing we did, but we ve become in some way South Africa." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing everyone did to get Nelson Mandela out of jail and the equal rights in South Africa." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about that." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we re doing that, and people around the world is doing it to us, which tells us we have a lot of work to do." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this is good." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Protests are good." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We focus, Tony, and I m going to end with this, way too much on the protesters." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we got to keep our focus on the acts and why the protests are happening." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we focus too much" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I agree." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t like crime." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like any violence, you know?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s not get lost why it s happening." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to keep our focus there." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad always said one thing." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad was a good cop." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he always said, you know one thing that a good cop hates is a bad cop." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the bad apple thing, that s true." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think what we all are fighting for, we understand in society there are bad apples." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when bad apples happen, they have to be persecuted." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think over anything else, that s what this fight is about right now." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you focus on George Floyd and all these other things, most of the time, most of the time, they go free." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if there s no consequences for your act," }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you get emboldened and you do it more." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have to persecute people who are doing wrong." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if we do wrong, we feel like it comes at us twofold." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just need that same treatment for anyone that does something." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And where does that education begin and what s the form of that education that has a lasting impact on the psyche, the spirit, the heart, and the mind of an individual?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, people aren t born this way, right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see little kids, doesn t matter what color your skin is." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, we all share 99.9% of the same exact DNA." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s absurd." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all started with dark skin and if you study history, we migrated to these northern areas where you needed lighter skin to get the vitamin D. You needed darker skin in Africa." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all made of the same stuff." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do we, where does that education begin, Doc, and what s the form of that education that can, you know, have that impact that s lasting?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we have to teach it, Tony." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to teach it through our schools, obviously, for adults." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t know how many times over the last week I ve been asked, how do I educate myself?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What should I need to do?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you go read." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go find." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go research." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for kids, we just have to educate them." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re right." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Racism is not an inborn act." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s taught, right?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it s not even taught" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just happens because you re in a house of someone who doesn t know, you know, a black person or doesn t know the history of this country." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really believe, like, if we teach more, we ll do more." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll understand." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other thing is voting." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And someone, I think Martin brought up voting." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we have to teach everyone, when you hear voting, what do you think?" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think immediately the presidency." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s obviously" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vital, really important, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but it s also the DA, the mayor, the sheriffs in town." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got to get involved in this." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I do think this is a call right now to do it, but we have to do this much longer than a protest." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we, everybody on this panel, um, have seen protests in their lives, uh, and we ve seen little change." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, so we have to get involved and we have to stay involved." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s the key." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would your father say about this situation?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would his be advice if he s here today?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How would he coach you coach and in turn coach America for a moment?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, my dad always said one thing, there ll be no victims in the river s house." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He always said, but you are going to get victimized." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when that happens, you have to keep pushing, but you can t stop because then they win." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said that all the time." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so my dad would be angry right now, just like we all are." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My dad would preach to me about education because he was a very educated man." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was the first man in my entire family." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to have a couple years of college." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At that age, that was unusual." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s what he would be preaching right now." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then he would be preaching justice, like, hey, it s not a cop, it s someone killed one human being." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "killed another human being, that human being has to have justice done to him." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it takes us so long to do it." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And whoever said it is so right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first thing we talk, listen, you can break a crime and not die." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you can cash a check, even a bad check, and you should not die from it." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, so it feels like every time we do something, they tell our story, but they don t tell the cop s story." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It came out so late, about 13 times he s been written up." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s what my dad would be saying." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My dad, you know, unfortunately died before Barack Obama became president, but he used to tell me every day, you can be, boy, you can be anything in the world but president." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we know we can be that too, but we have to do it through voting, and that s what my dad would say." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you, Doc, from the soul and your coaches, Coach, Coach in America." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you very much for your heartfelt peace." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s great to honor your father and all that he brought to you, because I also think that s where it all begins." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t just begin in schools." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It begins with fathers and mothers to step up and tell the truth about the diversity of life, the beauty of life." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, if you want to know what the universe or God loves, you go to the forest and what do you see?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything is different." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every twig, every tree, every branch, you know, and that s the beauty." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but somehow along the way with tribalism and mentality the mind gets in the way and people are suspicious of what they don t understand and they don t have an experience of and I apologize to all of you from my heart and soul for all that you ve gone through and your families have gone through and my hope is this conversation can spread other conversations to action you know and it s just not a conversation now hopefully people will be moving like I said we got about 50 million people out there will be watching this and that" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a momentum, just another step." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to keep stacking every step." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So thank you, Doc." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bishop T.D." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jakes, you re a force of nature, brother." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you dearly." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love what your life is about." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Many people probably don t know that you ve not only coached and counseled so many people through funerals and through this kind of pain, but also that you ve also experienced it in your own family." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I remember correctly, it was your grandfather" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that was murdered while your grandmother was pregnant." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember, right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s exactly right." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give us your perspective on where we are, how we got here and where we got to go." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What has to be done?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it s funny." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You should mention my grandfather." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was in here thinking about him." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My grandfather." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "June 9th." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was he passed and you were born on June 9th." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They murdered him on June 9th and I was born several years later on the day that he was murdered." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s not unique." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, almost every black person in America has a story like that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Runaways that we never found again." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Part of our family fleeing in the middle of the night." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Not sure where our cousins are." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Don t know what our last name really is." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our last names are a derivative of whoever owned us." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we re living in a contemporary society where they say all of that is long ago." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We should forget it." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I don t even have a name." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "because Jakes is German and clearly I m not German." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So every time I call my own name, I m reminded of the fact that slavery has forever marked me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you deal with 401 years of what I characterize as molestation." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I call it molestation because molestation is when someone in power takes advantage of someone without power." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s what we re talking about today." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Whether you re talking about the way the police act out on the street, or whether you re talking about the DAs, or whether you re talking about false autopsy reports, we re talking about how we handle power." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I d like to divide racism from injustice, because they re often used interchangeably, but they re really not the same thing." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Racism is a condition of the heart." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It deals with how you feel about me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Injustice is an action." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s how you act toward me." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, there are no legislations that can legislate how you feel about another person." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If it were, we could legislate marriages back together." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We could legislate all types of healing all over the world." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s not going to be any legislation made that eradicates all types of biases and racism." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What that is going to take is the love of God in our hearts and the experience of interacting with people on a personal basis to subvert the way that we have been programmed to think about people based on superficial realities." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the thing about racism." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s important." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that really needs to be done." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we really need to work on that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What brings us all around this table and what makes us all have so much fraternity around this table is injustice." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we have it on every level." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was unjust that Sabrina Fulton would have her child snatched out of the world." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was unjust that Martin Luther King III grew up without Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was unjust." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Over and over we could go, George Frazier, on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of these are examples of injustices." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When we talk about white privilege, a lot of white people get offended, but let s go back and understand that the Constitution describes us as being three-fifths human." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we have always had to fight for humanity." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re still trying to make up that last two fifths." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that inequity of how we are seen and how we often see ourselves, not just how you see us, but how we often see ourselves has left a deep scar on us like a child that s been molested." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And similarly to that molestation, one of the things that gives me great gratification about what I see on the streets now with blacks and whites and browns marching together is that up until this point, we have not been believed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And anybody who works with molested people understands that worse than the molestation itself, or equally as bad, is the difficulty often the victims have in being believed by the other parent or by the school or by anybody." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For the last 200 or some years, every time we would try to tell you what was going on, we were not believed." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were given names like race baiters." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were given" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "like haters and you don t love your country because you bowed a knee and I m so insulted that you could bend your knee and then this police officer bends his knee and I put up a picture of him bending his knee and Colin Kaepernick bending his knee and I want to know which one is worse." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you can be that enraged, that enraged about somebody who did a peaceful demonstration, just trying to tell you, hey, we re over here being molested on the street." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not that." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, let s be clear, Tony." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are not saying that all of our people are right or good, don t make mistakes, and don t need to be arrested." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s not true at all." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We all know that that s not true." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What we are saying is we are people too and we should not be tried and executed on the sidewalk." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This notion of trying and executing us on the sidewalk and going away and having coffee and donuts, it makes you so disgusted and so angry." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how do I convince my children of that other two-fifths of humanity that has been compromised in the country that we love?" }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When every day they wake up to illustrations that my parents thought were gone with Dr. King." }, { "chunk": "9", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And here we are again, singing the same songs, even in the same key that Dr. King sung them in when I was a little boy." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "watching on a screen that look like a bifocal lens." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reality today is that we have to grapple with this." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is not just we have to change the way we vote." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to change." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need the support of CEOs to stop funding candidates who do not have a serious Black agenda to bring up equality and righteousness and justice." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do not fund them just because you get a tax advantage." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need CEOs who will create job opportunities for returning citizens because our criminal justice system is rigged." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once it has been rigged, we come out to a rigged system where we can t get an apartment, we can t get a place to stay, and we can t get a job." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have no training and we ve been locked up for years and sometimes executed by the criminal justice system, not just on the street, but in the electric chair in the gas chamber fatal lethal injection and oops I got it wrong doesn t get us back." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need people to recognize that turning us over to a system that denies us that other two fifths of humanity and equality is like turning us over to the slave masters that we were running from in the first place." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is real for me." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up going to colored bathrooms and drinking from colored water fountains and watching my father go to the back door of restaurants to get something to eat." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it had not been for Martin Luther King s father, my father would still be at the back door of restaurants trying to get something for his kids to eat that he had to eat in the car." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My great grandmother was a slave." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She died when I was 10 years old with a brand on her back." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our history is not so long ago." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just yesterday." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the ramifications of the kind of abuse that has been infused upon us against our will has left a lot of terrible side effects on us as individuals, of which whites can be inconsiderate and quite judgmental, even though you were implicit." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and participatory, like the three police officers who stood alongside and watched what happened to George Lloyd." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you stand alongside and continue to watch what is happening to us and don t do anything about it, you are just as complicit as the people who did it." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s important to say something here because I often hear, and I have a lot of white friends." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of white members of my church." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of white police officers that I pastor." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have white people in my family." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no problem with being white." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a problem with being ignorant." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think to give yourself a pass to say, I could never know what it is like to be a black man and I could never know what it s like to come from your background and have your set of experiences is absolutely true, but it does not give you an excuse." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Men deliver babies for women who are pregnant without being women." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We fight every day against child abuse without having been abused." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We speak up against everything else." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to be a dog to put a football player in jail for abusing a dog." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot give ourselves these sociological passes about this level of pain." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the other thing that I want to say, because I have so much to say, I m just going to just throw it up at you." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please, please." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other thing I want to say, this notion that I keep hearing in the press" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that 99.9% police officers are good." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did you get that stat from?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did you get that stat from?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did you get that stat from?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You must realize that the people that are talking to you on this panel today haven t said nothing educational to each other." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is our reality." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we are not having an eye-opening experience." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have just finally been believed because the reality is the police service that you get in your community is not the same police service that most blacks get in their community." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not the same experience." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a reason that there is a fear when blue lights start flashing, whereas you see comfort when they drive by your house, you feel like, oh, thank God I m protected." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think, oh God, I might be hunted." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it goes all the way back to the police being a part of bringing back the slaves to the masters or standing by while we were hung or raped or castrated." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It goes back to the 60s." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the police holding the dogs and the water hoses." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here we are in 2020, it s the police with their knee on our neck." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not new." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shouldn t take us 200 and some years to learn this lesson." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you write the books you read, you come up with skewed truth." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all kinds of books out there that are written by people who have suffered these kinds of travesties." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to realize the reason that black people are excited right now is that we are like children who were being molested by daddy and now mama believes us." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can t imagine how my eyes filled with tears to see young and old white men and women standing out there with us to admit that our lives matter." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like a little child and mama finally believed I was telling the truth." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have not had to have the conversations with your children I ve had to have with mine." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My son called me in the middle of the night, and I m not, I don t live in the ghetto, and I m not broke, and I don t have some of the crisis trauma." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never safe." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care what sociological, economic level of life or intellectualism you may have." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We still, when the rubber hits the road, we re in the same situation." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My son calls me at midnight and says, Daddy, I m in trouble." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My heart leaps in my throat." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what s wrong?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, I had a wreck." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ambulance is there, the police are there, and it looks real bad that I think the car is totaled." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, are you okay?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, yes, sir, I think I m okay." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just shaking, but I m okay." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, keep me on the phone." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep me on the phone, on the speakerphone so I can hear." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the reason I said that is I was more scared of the police than I was of the car wreck." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was scared to death." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, don t say anything crazy." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t do anything wrong." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get frustrated and leave." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep your hands where they can see them." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking in his ear, talking him through the process, and I have to give it up to the police officer." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was gracious." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was professional." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was everything I had hoped for." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I want you to know that my heart always has to contemplate" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that this might be the night that one of those other, whatever percentage it is, police officer has my child and I m on the phone with Lawyer Crump." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is the reality of being black, whether you re Christian, whether you re non-Christian, whether you re wealthy, whether you re a good person with no blemish on your record, and the moment something happens," }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like the way we used to do women when they reported rape." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first tactic of the lawyer was to discredit her by bringing up her past." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The moment something happens to us, the first thing they do is look for any kind of dirt that says this person is flawed." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They smoked reefer, they drank, they had a beer, whatever it is, but none of that adds up to the right to kill me." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when right now we have a bill in Congress that we are fighting to get passed against lynching, why would we have to fight to get both sides to agree that lynching is wrong?" }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, years ago, I was told that when you speak truth to power, that s what we were supposed to do." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we thought power was elected officials." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to a degree, it is." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the real power is the people who fund the elected officials." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if I were to speak truth to power today, I don t have to go to Washington." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to go to those CEOs and companies who are funding the campaigns of people who make it legal to kill me." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you want to do something really good, thank God you donated some money to the NAACP or the Urban League or NAN or somebody, or you gave something to our foundation that s really good." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to do something better than that, stop funding the campaigns of people who think it s okay to kill me." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hold them accountable." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While I am trying to get our people to vote, we need voices like yours to get your people to hold those people accountable to a higher standard that stops the pain of a pregnant woman being shot with rubber bullets in her belly in the middle of a demonstration." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of a peaceful demonstration in Washington, D.C." }, { "chunk": "10", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being abruptly" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stopped and gassed." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for a photo opportunity." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just because it s your party, doesn t mean you don t need to correct it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just because, and if you really study the criminal justice, I work, I have the Texas Offenders Reentry Initiative, which is part of a TD Jakes Foundation." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also work with STEM programs." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m really up to speed on this." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you really go back and study historically, the war on crime was really code for war on us." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both Democrats and Republicans have participated in it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The district attorneys, when they really get ready to run for office, the code is, I m going to be tough on crime." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how you get elected." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there is a relationship between the DA and the prosecutors and the police." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason our community doesn t trust you is because the police reports over George Floyd changed when the pictures came out." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reports that changed over Armaud when the pictures came out." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it were not but for a camera, we would not be believed today." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you can start by believing the victim rather than explaining to me what my experience is as a black person." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To validate my witness might give me my two fifths humanity back that causes me to be not better than you, not on top of you, just equal." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all we want." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just want to be treated fairly." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just fair, not exceptionally, not exempted." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just want, when you arrest us, we want you to treat us the same way you did that boy that killed those people in that church and took him over to get a burger before you took him to jail." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "George Lloyd did not get a burger." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He got a knee." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re hurt." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be honest?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re very hurt." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can speak for myself." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were days I woke up with tears running down my face for hours." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s disgusting." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s disgusting that my grandfather died for nothing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that they shot Dr. King in the head, and I see little progress." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s disgusting to have to look Sabrina in the face and know that she went through a pain that a mother will never forget, and to watch mother after mother after mother after mother go through that again." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "while people who could join us as fellow human beings said, I don t understand." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not on my radar." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t get it that way." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t hear it that way." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to listen to all types of news, not just the news that reinforces what we believe." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to watch other kind of movies." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to read each other s books." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to be the family God created us to be." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is no way, I ll say this and shut up, there is no way in God s green earth" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that I could see Tony Robbins on the side of the road and put my knee in his neck, or let anybody else do that, and me not fight them to the death, as white as you are, and as black as I am, I would go down to the floor fighting for you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As I would for you, brother, as you know in your soul, as I would for you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, Romans talks about mourn with those who mourn." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we all mourn this experience because it s our brothers and sisters." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It isn t black or white, but the experience of just that color difference living in this country passed a shift." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we re having this conversation." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And please don t you ever dare shut up." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Such a passionate, eloquent, and powerful voice." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have nothing to add to it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My only question for you is, you know I ve supported with you on the STEM side and the education side, and you re doing so many different pieces." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give us what you would like your white brothers and sisters and people of all races, what do you want them to do in this special moment right now?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first, they have to feel." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their heart has to shift." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t know how we can watch and hear all of you without that occurring." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or watch George Floyd s experience without that occurring." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re at that tipping point, I hope." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what do you want them to do?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give me the core of what you want them to do besides what they feel." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want them to get a hold of the electoral process and stop empowering people to kill us." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I said before, I want them to do that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want them to go out of their way to create a path out of the criminal justice system for a second chance for nonviolent offenders." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want them to do that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have taken almost 40,000 people have gone through Texas Offenders Reentry Initiative just covering the state of Texas alone." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our rate of recidivism is lower than any other in the country." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are many others out there who are doing the same thing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get involved, come out of your silos, come out of your country club for a minute, or I ll meet you at the country club, or you can come to mine, and let s have a real honest heart-to-heart conversation about how we can move this country forward." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want them to close the digital gap because 80% of the jobs coming in the future over the next 10 years, or maybe five now, because of COVID-19 expediting the influence of technology, I want them to close the digital gap so that there are more jobs." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you know what, Tony?" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been mugged by anybody who had to go to work in the morning." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and creating job opportunities for oppressed people solves a lot of problems in the community." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emptying out the jails that we have built for big business from nonviolent crimes sends our fathers back home to raise their sons." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that we smoke more weed than you did, we bought it from you." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just that you had better lawyers, you knew who to call, you knew what to do." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When white kids or white people, I m not sure you can handle this, but when white people have a drug problem, it s considered a sickness." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you it s considered a sickness oh the opioid addiction it s a sickness oh my god we ve got to pass money and legislation for a sickness when black people get on drugs we re criminals when your kids get on drugs they re patients fix this we love our kids like you love your kids" }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our women want our men to come out of jail." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our little boys need their fathers back." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because your father smoked dope at 17 or 18 doesn t mean he ought to still be locked up at 40." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some of our states, the judge can get high, and we still haven t got the guys out of jail who went into jail for doing the same thing that we re now legalizing." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m asking you to think." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m asking you to think about me and I am promising you that I will think about you and we need to think about each other before our enemies outside of this country think about what a great opportunity it is to destroy this country." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While we are in such upheaval because of a pandemic, because of an economic crisis, and because of sociological chaos, we are more vulnerable to outside attack than we ve ever been before." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot afford to be blind any longer." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to think right now." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the name of the project that you re working with on in the prisons to get people out that have all they have to do if anybody wants to help me all they have to do is give to the TV J foundation." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you get to the foundation up under that banner it s a Texas offenders reentry initiative." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and esteem program that we re offering to kids at early ages to kind of get them qualified to that." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are other programs out there, too." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a myriad of programs of people who are doing great work." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Educate yourself, compare, see where there s a line." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not just about money." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Create job opportunities." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Allow our kids to go and work with you during the summer so that they can experience everything, everything where the floor was level and the rules were clear." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black people excelled at it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basketball, the floor was level and the rules were clear, we did good." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Football, the floor was level and the rules were clear, we did good." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere the floor is level and the rules are clear, we do good." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give us a chance." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our little kids became everything they were exposed to." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they can do hip-hop." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can do music." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can do recording." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can play basketball." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can play football." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can run." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now they re starting to golf because if we can see it, we can be it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they can preach." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we have not seen Goldman and Sachs, and we have not seen inside Exxon Mobil Oil." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have not seen inside of Xerox." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve not seen inside of Microsoft." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And until we can see it, we can t be it." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want the floor level and the rules clear, and we will jump hoop on you right then." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want the man." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s Doc in the back right there." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Obviously, it s not just about economics." }, { "chunk": "11", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My feet, my tongue, and my wallet move in the same direction, and I ve already supported you before, but I didn t know about the project you re doing around the prison system." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m going to donate matching funds of a quarter million dollars." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to get the quarter million anyway, regardless of what they do." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anybody who s watching, I ll double your impact." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll double the dollar s effect towards this foundation." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it s not the only one, but I know the great work you re doing to provide new futures by the education around STEM." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I didn t know about what you re doing now in the prison system." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, that s one of the single most important places where we have to put the balance back." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me just thank you from my heart." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have been holding the programs together, but we don t get" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not even a tenth of the support that other entities get, but we have been holding it together with nails in spite of the fact that we have received presidential awards from President Obama s and even out of the Trump administration." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for your help with that and God help anybody else who will help us and all the other programs that our community is holding together." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One final thing, if you re" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "CEO friends could adopt a small black business of any kind." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give them some money, but give them some experience." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Help them with accounting." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Help them to understand how to handle money because we were the first people to come over here with a sign up that said, we ll work for food." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s slavery." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that means we work, we got food." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then when we got free, we got money, but we don t know what to do with money." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We need financial literacy so that we see money as more than an expendable item" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to spend." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re talking about billions of dollars worth of capital that need to be invested." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give us a little training." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Adopt a small business." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It won t take much from you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You d be surprised how little we can live off of." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You d be surprised at the businesses that are dying for $10,000 and $50,000 and an accountant." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and just a class once a month on bookkeeping." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Adopt one business." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If every successful white business would adopt at least one business and expose them to marketing and benefits and give them an opportunity to market when you buy marketing, just buy a few extra spots for them." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You turn it around." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Economics is a factor in justice because justice can be bought." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you got enough money, you can get out." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Justice plays a factor between a court attorney and a court-appointed attorney and a good attorney." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Money plays a factor in the judicial process." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just about black and white." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about green." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Plays a factor in what school I can go to, what neighborhood I can live in." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of the people who are protecting us, who have hands on, whether we re going through magnometers in the airport, or whether we ve got nurses in the hospital, or whether they re cleaning the hospital rooms, or whether they re police officers, cannot afford to live in the cities they protect." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And while we re singing songs for these first responders, how about a raise?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Little things like that, fighting to make sure that the good police officers can afford to live in the city and maybe and break up some of the hell that they go through, firemen and everybody else to serve you, to clean you, to feed you, to bathe your mama." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to make sure your mama dies properly, to make sure she has her injection when she needs it." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s us driving the cabs and the buses and all of the rail systems." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s us taking your baggage and your life." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just make sure we can go home and have a family." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, a few of us escaped." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you can t point at the few and say, look at so-and-so, and look at so-and-so, and look at Oprah Winfrey, and look at T.D." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jackson." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t look at me, because I didn t have a record." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had never been locked up, by the grace of God." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a little bit more of a level floor." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just about being black." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about the inequities of the floor." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We start with health disparities, food deserts, all of these problems." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know it s overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t want you to fix it for us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want you to fix it with us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s gotta be cheaper to fix our communities than it is to carry your business to Mexico." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Still got crime, still got drugs, still getting danger, and now you re overseeing shipping." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It would be cheaper to fix our communities." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are opportunity zones." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If ever America s gonna change for the opportunity zones, for the COVID-19 problem that we re having, for the momentum of the public, now is the moment of change." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll stop." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Preach, Bishop, preach." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Preach, brother." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you gotta have at least one of us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you found your calling, brother, perhaps." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you so dearly." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll talk afterwards, but we ll put your website on there." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s one of the choices that people can support." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I ll match them up to a quarter of a million." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll save a quarter of a million regardless." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in addition, I ll provide, you can talk afterwards." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, you know, I have 54 companies." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I started with absolutely nothing as I m sure you know." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve moved up and I ve got them, you know, across a dozen different industries and I teach these tools." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m going to also give you a thousand scholarships from the $10,000 head person of programs I do." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the next two years, 500 a year, you pick the people you want and we ll educate them, train them, and give them the leg up they need in that area, brother." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s fabulous." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s worth the Hubble Day." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, we re coming towards the end here, but not last but not least, by any stretch, and thank you guys for your endurance, and thank you to those watching for your endurance, but this demands more than a three-minute soundbite." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, so many of you have been interviewed on the news and at different stages, and you deliver a beautiful message, but, you know, three or four minutes, and we go to a damn commercial." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here, we re putting ourselves on the line to get the truth out, and I know those who are watching still, we re just grateful to you." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about solutions that seem impossible." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems from where we are after all these decades since you know Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I have a dream speech over 50 years ago and here we re still dealing with it." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of people you couldn t couldn t blame somebody African American or anyone else for thinking nothing s going to change this, but our next" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "incredible leader and guest, heartfelt guest is Daryl Davis." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Daryl, as I already said, is a great musician." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s an activist." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s an author." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Daryl has this unique gift that he has found a way to bridge the gap with people you would think it would be impossible to bridge the gap with." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I really want to come to you now, Daryl." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And would you start out, Daryl, by just telling us the story of how this first happened?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you ve got taken with, is it 200 Klansmen now?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s incredible, Darryl." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us the first time it happened when you re playing, you know, music." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us the story, if you would, and tell us what made it possible and then what drove you after that to expand beyond that one relationship, which by itself would be an unbelievable life accomplishment, to what you ve done for the last 30 years, brother." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I have a degree in music performance and jazz, and I was playing rock and roll and blues and things like that, and then country music had made a resurgence." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you want to work full-time, which I did, I joined a country band." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And country music and blues music is the exact same music, the same three chords." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I joined a country band." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was an all-white band." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was the only black person in there." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and consequently, usually the only black person where we would play." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, the band used to play or they had played at a place called the Silver Dollar Lounge in Frederick, Maryland, about an hour and a half outside of Washington, DC, hour and 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the Silver Dollar Lounge was an all white lounge, not meaning that blacks could not go in there, but blacks chose not to go in there." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that was a good choice because they were not welcome." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was an all-white lounge, and usually, you know, when you re not welcome and alcohol is being served, it s not a good combination." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they stayed out." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, here I was in the Silver Dollar Lounge, and my first time." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The band had been there before." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We came off the bandstand after the first set, take a break, on our way to sit down, and this white gentleman walked across the dance floor and put his arm around my shoulder and said how much he enjoyed the music." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I shook his hand, I thanked him." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then he pointed at the stage and said, I ve seen this here band before, but I ain t never seen you before." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where d you come from?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I explained, well, yeah, you probably did see him." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, they told me they played here, but I just joined them." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve only been in the band a couple of months and it s my first time here." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He says, well, man, I sure like your piano playing." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is the first time I ever heard a black man play piano like Jerry Lee Lewis." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was not offended." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was not offended." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I was rather surprised that this guy was probably 15, 18 years older than me." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he did not know the black origin of Jerry Lee Lewis s style of playing." }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I said to him, I said, well, where do you think Jerry Lee Lewis learned how to play?" }, { "chunk": "12", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He says, well, he invented that." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, he didn t." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, I know Jerry Lee Lewis." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s told me himself." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a friend of mine." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s told me himself what he learned how to play." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He learned from black, blues, and boogie-woogie piano players." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where rock and roll, rockabilly came from." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jerry Lee invented that." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ain t never seen no black man play like that except for you." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m thinking, OK, well, this guy never saw Little Richard or Fats Domino or something." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he was fascinated enough with me, he didn t believe me, but he was fascinated enough that he wanted to buy me a drink." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I don t drink, but I went back to his table and had a cranberry juice with him." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He paid the waitress, he took his glass and cheered me, clinked my glass." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he says, you know, this is the first time I ever sat down and had a drink with a black man." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m kind of baffled, like, you know, what s going on here?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I asked him why, and he didn t answer me at first." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I asked him again, and his buddy sitting next to him elbowed him and said, tell him, tell him, tell him." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, tell me, I understand the mystery here." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He looked at me just as plain as day and said, I m a member of the Ku Klux Klan." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I burst out laughing at him, because I did not believe him." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You thought he was joking." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought he was joking." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know a lot about the Klan, a whole lot." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they don t operate that way." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think, OK, this guy s just jerking me around." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He probably figured I was jerking him around about Jerry Lee, so he s going to jerk me around about the Klan." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m laughing, and he goes inside his wallet, flips through, and hands me his Klan membership card." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I looked at it, and I was shocked." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recognized the Ku Klux Klan insignia, a red circle with a white cross and red blood drop in the center." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, this thing is for real." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I stopped laughing, right?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I gave it back to him." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we talked about the Klan and some other things." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m going to skip ahead." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had formed a question in my mind." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in 1968 when I had rocks thrown at me in a Cub Scout parade and I didn t understand why." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I formed a question that was, how can you hate me when you don t even know me?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been searching for the answer to that question and I could not find it." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody seemed to be able to give me a satisfactory answer." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So later on, you know, that guy gave me his phone number and wanted me to call him anytime I was to come to that bar with this band because he wanted to bring his friends, you know, his friends, Klansmen and Klanswomen to see this Black guy play piano like Jerry Lee." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure he called me a Black guy to his friends, but he wanted me to call him and let him know when I was playing there." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were there every six weeks." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t even make up a story like this, Darryl." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is for real." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is incredible." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d call him every six weeks, and he would show up." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he d bring Klansmen and Klanswomen." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t come in their robes and hoods." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They came in street clothes." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they would watch me play, and they would get on the dance floor and dance to our music." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on the breaks, I would go to his table." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and say hello." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of them were curious about me." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wanted to meet me and talk to me." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Others would see me coming and they d get up and scoot off to some other part of the room." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want to see me, but not associate with me, which was fine." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this went on to the end of the year, and I quit that band and went back to playing rock and roll and blues." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it dawned on me, Daryl, the answer to your question" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s been plaguing you since age 10 fell right into your lap." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who better to ask that question, how can you hate me when you don t even know me, than to ask somebody who would go so far as to join an organization whose whole premise has been hating people who don t look like them and who don t believe as they believe." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get back in contact with that guy and write a book." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get him to hook you up." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with the Grand Dragon and the Imperial Wizard and other people and other clan members." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go up north, go down south, go to the Midwest, go to the West, and interview people." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get them to hook you up and write this book and ask those people that question." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because he was friendly with you, maybe he ll help you out." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what I did." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Long story short, I traveled the country and I interviewed a lot of clan members, leaders, imperial wizards, grand dragons, exalted cyclopses, great titans, so forth and so on." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wrote the book, Clandestine Relationships." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And through the process of sitting down and talking with these people, many of them ended up leaving the clan and giving me their robes and hoods." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna tell you right quick about one guy here." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This guy, he was a grand dragon in the state of Maryland." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Grand dragon means state leader." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imperial wizard means national leader." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anybody imperial is on the national level." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anybody on the grand level is on the state level." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This guy, his name was Robert White, Bob White." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was the grand dragon from Maryland." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was a grand dragon from Maryland." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And anyway, he went to prison." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He went to prison for four years for conspiring to bomb a synagogue in Baltimore." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He got out of prison and continued running the Klan." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he went back to prison a few years later for assault with intent to murder two black men with a shotgun." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when he got out, I interviewed him." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this man was vehemently" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anti Semitic and very, very racist, you know, the whole problem with with the world where the Jews and the blacks and we kept talking and talking and slowly but surely he began to humanize me." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s hard to hate somebody when you re sitting right there in front of them and they re speaking the same language." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re seeing that you want the same things for your family that they want for their family." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So long story short, over a period of time, this man left the Klan." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let me tell you something." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a grand dragon, being an imperial wizard, a great legal, whatever, does not bring you any money, unless you re embezzling some of the dues that the members pay." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to have a job." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This man gave me his robe and hood." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a ton of robes and hoods here." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got it out to show it to you, if you can see it." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, wow, that s incredible." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is his grand dragon robe." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, his day job," }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, his day job." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me just hook this for you here." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Baltimore City police officer." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was not, he was not an undercover cop in the Klan gathering intelligence." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a bonafide Klansman on the Baltimore City." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A leader of the Klan, not just a Klansman, but a leader." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he left the Klan because of me." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We became good friends." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We became the best of friends." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it starts with dialogue." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I got to ask, when you ask them the question, how can you hate me without knowing me, what were their answers?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then how do you get?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you the answers, OK?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got two answers." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I would ask the question when I first started interviewing the people, all right?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The answer I would get is, are Black people are criminals?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you can see that there are more blacks in prison than white people." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re prone to crime." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s the half truth." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, there are more blacks in prison than white people, but it s not because we re criminals." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of it is because" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of the inequity in the judicial system, as the Bishop said, also that we cannot afford the attorneys, as the Bishop said." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they don t see that." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One s perspective is one s reality." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they see the result, and that fits their narrative." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I m told also that Black people are lazy." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to work." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We prefer to scam the government welfare system." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m told that Black people are born with a smaller brain." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "than white people." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we don t have the capacity of white brain to have the higher IQs." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we score so low on the SATs." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, so now listen, when somebody tells you that, and you re sitting there and they re telling you this, is what you re hearing offensive?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely, it s offensive." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was I offended?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why was I not offended by that?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it did not apply to me." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, how could I let this man who just met me five, 10 minutes ago, and all he sees is this, the color of my skin, make that assumption about me?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why should I be offended by a lie?" }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the problem." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people want to fight when they hear something like that, reach across the table and smack somebody for saying that." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I let him get it all out." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then these people, they would reciprocate." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once you let them get out whatever it is they got to get out, you got to know who you are." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have that confidence in knowing who you are and not let somebody else define who you are." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to have your own self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that way it doesn t bother you." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So once he got it all out, they would reciprocate and allow me to speak." }, { "chunk": "13", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, look," }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a criminal record." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been on welfare." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never measured my brain size, but I m sure it s the same size as anybody else s." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they, of course, they want to change the subject." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But one of the things that happened, and this was a teaching moment." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It would become a learning moment later." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was with another imperial wizard." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were sitting in the room having this conversation and" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there, you know, we were just talking, and he had an armed bodyguard with him, which is called a Nighthawk, and in Klan terminology." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This guy was wearing military camouflage, the red circle, white cross, blood drop patch right here, the initials KKK on this side, said Knights of the Ku Klux Klan embroidered on his cap." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he s standing guard to the guys right across the table from me in this motel room." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re just talking, agreeing on some things, disagreeing on others." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the middle of our conversation, there was a very short, very fast noise, just that quick." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I jumped up out of my chair, I hit the table, and I just knew." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just knew that this man had made this noise." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt that my life was threatened." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt, because I could not discern what the noise was, it was so short and so quick, my ear could not tell me what it was." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I perceived it to be evil and ominous." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I knew that he made it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By process of elimination, I didn t make it, so he had to have made it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you fear for your life, you go into survival mode." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s basically only four things you can do in survival mode." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people just" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They pass out, they faint because the fear is so great, their brain cannot process it and it shuts down and they faint." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do that." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Second thing people will do is their muscles will tighten up and they will constrict and they can t move." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be hitting them." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They won t even be deflecting the blows because they re paralyzed." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s called paralysis by fear." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The third thing people will do is to run away." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is your best option." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to as quickly as you can separate yourself from the source of your fear and that is the option that I would have chosen had it been available to me because" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was not armed." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to die." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only person that I knew who was armed was the bodyguard." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see his gun." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did not know if the leader had a weapon up under his suit and tie or not." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the fourth option is to do a preemptive strike." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get them before they get you." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was about ready to fly over that table, grab the Klan leader, grab his Nighthawk," }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "slam them down to the ground, and take away the Nighthawk s gun." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m that fast, and I m that strong, and I was going to do it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I hit the table, my eyes were looking right into his eyes." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t have to say a word." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew he could read my eyes." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My eyes were speaking so loud, he could hear them." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My eyes were saying to him, what did you just do?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And his eyes had fixated on my eyes." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He didn t say a word, but I could read his eyes." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His eyes were saying to me, what did you just do?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the Nighthawks are looking back and forth at both of us, like, what did either one of y all just do?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he has his hand on the butt of his gun." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He didn t draw it, but he had his hand there." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, my secretary was sitting on top of the dresser next to us because there were no more chairs." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She realized what happened." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had a bucket of ice there with cans of soda in it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d gotten them to offer, you know, the planned person a drink." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I want to be hospitable if he s gonna sit down and do my interview." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the ice had started melting and the cans of soda shifted down the ice." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we figured that out, we all began laughing at how ignorant we all had been." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, as I said, this was a teaching moment." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t a learning moment, but the lesson taught is this, all because some foreign, underscore, highlight, circle the word foreign, entity, that being the bucket of ice cans of soda, of which we were ignorant," }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "entered into our little comfort zone via the noise that it made, we became fearful of one another." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The lesson taught is this." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance breeds fear." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We fear those things we don t understand." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you do not keep that fear in check, that fear will escalate." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and breed hatred because we hate the things that frighten us." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t keep that hatred in check, that hatred will escalate and breed destruction." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to destroy the things that we hate." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they frighten us." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But guess what?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They may have been harmless and we were just ignorant." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we saw the whole chain almost unraveled to completion." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last component would have been destruction had the Nighthawk drawn his gun and shot somebody, namely me or my secretary." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or had I pounced across the table and hurt one of them." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we did see, we did see that whole chain unravel completely three years ago on August 12, 2017, two hours from where I live in Charlottesville, Virginia." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "at the Unite the Right rally, where there was a lot of ignorance that day, a lot of fear that day, a lot of hatred that day." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what did it culminate in?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It culminated in destruction when a white supremacist got inside his vehicle and tried to murder as many protesters as he could by driving his car full speed into the crowd." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He succeeded in injuring 20 people and murdering that young lady, Heather Heyer." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the how we solve this problem of racism is about, you know, how we solve the problem with the police is a little bit different." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You solve it from the top down." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The people on the bottom, on the street, they take their cues from the top." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to go to management." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has to trickle down." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the problem with racism is counterintuitive." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the opposite." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t start at the top, at the destruction." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That which is destroyed is not coming back." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t start with the hate or the fear, the next level down." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are just symptoms." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like putting topical cream on bone cancer." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to go down below the surface." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You start at the bottom and trickle up." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The bottom is ignorance." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as Doc Rivers was saying earlier, education, education, education." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can cure ignorance." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance is cured through education and exposure." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you cure ignorance, then there s nothing to fear." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you only fear what you don t know." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when ignorance is gone, you have knowledge." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t fear knowledge." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if there s no ignorance, there s nothing to fear." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there s nothing to fear, there is nothing to hate." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there s nothing to hate, there s nothing to destroy." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what we ve got to focus on, education." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me just talk a little bit about, and I ve done this with countless Klansmen and Klanswomen, and I have a ton of robes and hoods here that I could show you, but I think one is enough." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, about police." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I keep hearing people talk about" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the good cops and bad cops and a few bad apples." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That few bad apples phrase comes from either the chief of police or the public relations officer, public information officer for the police department." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is the biggest lie." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are never a few bad apples." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to say something about that." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are three categories of police officers, but generally we only talk about two, all right?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say this, there are more bad apples than good apples." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let me explain that so you understand what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, I m not saying all cops are bad, they re not." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Three categories, good cops, bad cops." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know what a bad cop does." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A good cop will not do those things, but" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the good cop will turn a blind eye to the bad cop." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He will not snitch, he will not report on the bad cop because of that blue code of silence, that blue wall of silence." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So while he may not be participatory in that misconduct, he will not report it, all right?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The third category, which is the minority, the lesser population of police officers, is the honest cop." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The honest cop does not do those things, and the honest cop will tell." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The honest cop will report it." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You all remember the movie, True Story, Frank Serpico, right?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Frank Serpico was an honest cop." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what happened?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He got shot by his own people." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because nobody likes a snitch." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You didn t like a snitch when you were a little kid and your brother told your mom what you did, right?" }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go in and beat him up or something." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with the police." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t like a snitch." }, { "chunk": "14", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re an honest cop and you report on one of your fellow officers in blue and you have to go on a call and you re involved in a shootout and you get on the radio and call for" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "backup." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That transmission is all over." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All the cops in the area hear it and they know you re a snitch." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They either don t respond to your call or they re very slow in arriving and and therefore jeopardizing your safety and possibly your life." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the repercussion that you get for for being a snitch." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So therefore a lot a lot of good cops want to tell but they are afraid for their own safety." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you saw if you saw that that that incident on the news this morning where where the cops push that 75 year old man and he fell on the ground and banged his head on the on the sidewalk." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s lying there bleeding unconscious." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and all of these police officers walked by doing nothing." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One cop bent over to take a look at him and the other cop lifted him up and kept on going." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the wall of silence." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t break the code, all right?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We need, in police reform, we need a mechanism where the police" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "can feel free to report on their fellow officers without the fear of ramification." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They can do it anonymously or something like that." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just like if there s a crime committed and the cops can t solve it, what do they do?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ask for the community to help." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they put up some kind of tip line where you can call anonymously so you don t get any kind of retaliation against you." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cops need the same thing for their fellow cops." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when you go to the brass, the administrators, the IAD, Internal Affairs, whatever, and, you know, those are the brass people, and you make a complaint if you re a citizen or even if you are a fellow police, if you re a police officer and you report it to the brass, they are loathe to do anything because they were doing the exact same thing when they were down on the street themselves." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So why are they going to prosecute you for doing what they did 20 years ago?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They know how it is." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need some kind of outside board or mechanism that can judge that." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You should not have police judging police." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need some kind of outside mechanism." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look, when Benjamin Crump" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "goes to court and they do that voir dire, where they question the potential jury." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, he wants to make sure that he has an unbiased jury." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it s a police case, first thing he asks is, is anybody there a police officer or you have family members who are police officers or whatever?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If so, you know, out you go, bring in somebody else." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s no bias." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why isn t that done when it s a police investigating the police?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not saying that all police investigators are biased." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, they re not." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there is the potential to be that way." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just like, you know, you don t want doctors judging doctors on malpractice suits." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want an unbiased panel." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we need a mechanism by which police can be judged unbiasedly and other cops can report to the police without fear of retaliation." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re an extraordinary man in your belief systems." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What beliefs came from your father and your mother that you think shaped you into the person who could think this way and break through the way you have?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you know, I m 62 years old now." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My father was one of the first black Secret Service agents in this country." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Harry Anslinger, who ran the Secret Service, hired five Black agents at the same time for the first time, and my father was one of those." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My dad wanted to be an FBI agent, and J. Edgar Hoover was not hiring any Blacks and no women." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So my dad went to the Secret Service, and he got hired." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Later, he joined the Foreign Service, and I became an American Embassy brat." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "traveling all over the world, living in different countries." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I started traveling overseas at the age of three." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I lived in Africa 10 years." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I lived in Europe, all with the American embassy." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You go to a country for two years, come home, and you get assigned to another country." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So between traveling with my dad and my mom as a child," }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "combined with my travels now as a professional musician playing all over the world, I ve been in 57 different countries on six continents." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ve been exposed to a multitude of colors, ethnicities, religions, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of that shaped who I am today." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And fortunately, it started with me at an early age." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I just want to say something real quick." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My favorite quote of all time is by Mark Twain." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s called The Travel Quote." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Mark Twain said, travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And many of our people need it sorely on these accounts." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one s lifetime." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is so true." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think, what is the number?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s 15% or only 10% of Americans have a passport." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": null, "text": "10%." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it 10%, Michael?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": null, "text": "10%." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s crazy." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, people- Never going out of the United States at all." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me ask you one more question." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love to go for two hours with you by yourself on this." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You shared a story about a cyclops, and I think it s really instructive about what he believed about, you know, you have a, in your DNA." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want to hear that one?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you share that with us?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I love it." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s instructive of how you were able to break through." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gave kind of how you broke through his psychology." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you share that briefly?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, the key to my success in doing this is" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, even though the headlines will say Black musician converts 50 Klan members, 200 Klan members, or whatever they say, no, I did not convert those people." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am the impetus for over 200 of white supremacists getting out of those organizations." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I do is I plant a seed, and I nourish that seed, and they end up converting themselves, which is always more powerful than you trying to make somebody do something." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whereas their idea, it will last a lot longer." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was in my car, and I had an exalted cyclops riding in my car beside me." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re talking." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just driving along." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re in the Washington, D.C." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "area." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he made the statement, which I ve heard a thousand times, that Black people have a gene within them." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re born with this gene that makes us violent." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I said, you know, well, how do you figure that?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He says, well, look, who s doing all the drive-bys and carjackings in Southeast?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s referring to Southeast Washington, D.C." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which is predominantly black." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s some white people who live there, but it s predominantly black and very high crime written." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, okay, it s black people." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, but you re not considering the demographics." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what lives there." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, who s doing all the crime in Bangor, Maine?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "White people, because that s what lives there." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, you re not considering the demographics." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, no, no, no, no, that has nothing to do with it." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You all have that gene." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, listen, let me tell you something." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, I m as black as anybody you ve ever seen." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, I have never done a drive-by." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have never done a carjacking." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you explain that?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He didn t even think about it for one second." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He answered me like that." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, your gene is latent, hasn t come out yet." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was dumbfounded." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was speechless." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you argue with somebody like that?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s so far out, you can t even bite into that." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so he s sitting there all smug, like, uh-huh, you see, you got nothing to say." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I thought about it." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, well, you know, all white people have a gene within them that makes them a serial killer." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, well, how do you figure?" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, name me three black serial killers." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He couldn t do it." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, I m going to give you one." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I named one for him." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, now, just name me two." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All I want is two." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He couldn t do it." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Henry Lee Lucas, John Wayne Gacy, Albert DeSalvo, the Boston Strangler, Ted Bundy, David Berkowitz, Son of Sam, on and on." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, son, they re all white." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a serial killer." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, Darryl, I ve never killed anybody." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, your dream is latent, hasn t come out yet." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, well, that s stupid." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, well, duh." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, you re right, it is stupid, but it s no more stupid for me to say that about you than what you said about me." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he got very quiet." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could see that his mind was spinning." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he didn t say anything for a minute or so." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then he changed the subject." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But within five months, based on that conversation, he quit the Klan." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I also have his robe." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, his robe was the first robe that I got." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I know you got to get some more people." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I just want to say, I want to express my condolences to everybody on here, everybody on here, you know, for the racism and the violence that s been enacted." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "on all of you." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s something that none of us should have to endure." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So please accept my condolences." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I also want to put out a debt of gratitude, a thanks to all the white people" }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who joined in with us in these protests." }, { "chunk": "15", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, as Martin Luther King III said, you know, there s always been white people since the Civil Rights Movement began with his father, you know, who marched with us, but never have we seen" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this en masse, this big." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now, you know, where they weren t listening to Black voices, they re listening to this collective voice because they see so many people who look like them." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s that collective voice that s finally, you know, making them take off the earplugs." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that George, I mean, so the officer who knelt on George Floyd s neck," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had a 19 year career and he had 18 complaints." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So 18 people had voices and they didn t listen to one of those voices." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe if the brass who you complained to had listened to one of those 18 voices, they might have reprimanded or corrected Derek Chauvin s behavior and George Floyd would be alive today." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t listen to one of those 18 voices." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you become a police officer, you are given a license to take someone s life if you have to." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we all have driver s licenses." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you imagine anybody with a driver s license who s had 18 DW eyes." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you imagine a any doctor at a hospital who s had 18 malpractice complaints against him and the hospital still keeps them or the MVA, the motor vehicle administration still keeps a driver with 18 DUI DW eyes." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why would a police department keep a police officer." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with 18 complaints against him in a 19-year career." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a question of if he does something more wrong, it s when." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you, Tony, for having me, buddy." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for being on your gift to this world, Scott." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just, excuse me, Daryl, but I want to introduce- Scott s my buddy." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Scott is my brother." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why don t you give the introduction to Scott then, if you would, Scott Shepard." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, Scott Shepard was a Klansman at one time." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s from Indianola, Mississippi, the home of the White Citizens Council, which is the executive branch of the KKK." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re the white collar executives who do all the stuff and then the Klan goes out and does all the night riding and stuff." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where it was born." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also the home of my good friend, the late great B.B." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "King." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Scott Shepard comes from there." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He joined the Klan, and he rose to the rank of Grand Dragon in one Klan group." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Grand Dragon for Mississippi and the state." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he joined another Klan group later and rose to the rank of Imperial Wizard, National Klan leader." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He ran for governor." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He oversaw Tennessee and Mississippi and some other states." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He also was the godson of Byron de la Beckwith, the Klansman who murdered Medgar Evers." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I own Scott Shepard s robe as well." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Scott Shepard is not only a very good friend of mine," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is my brother, Scott Shepard." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Scott, thank you for joining us and thank you for your example." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so many people think someone s a racist, they re a racist forever." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think when you think of a Klansman, you think of something, if it s even possible, more extreme than racism." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds like you were raised in an environment." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you tell us what, you know, like we saw earlier, you re not born a racist." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What were the conditions that brought you to those beliefs?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, I say to everybody, all those watching right now and listening, you know, all of us, forget racism, all of us can probably remember something we used to believe 5, 10, 15 years ago, that today you look back on it, back then you would have fought for that idea, and now back then you re almost embarrassed to believe you believe that stuff." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not talking about racism." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m talking about anything." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve all had that." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s important for us to remember that human beings can truly change because they, most of the conversations are making moral judgments about somebody and then locking them in time." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of saying like, well, you ve done Daryl, we disagree, but let me hear what your point of view is and being willing to hear it s all about." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "finding what s wrong, doing a gotcha, and then blaming somebody and making yourself morally better than they are." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s made no progress." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All it does is keep pushing people apart." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Scott, tell us if you would, what brought you to the point of the beliefs you did have and what happened in your actions with Daryl that changed it?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, thank you for your courage and your commitment and your willingness to be here." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Melissa, share your story." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, I appreciate being here." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Of course, Darryl Davis is my brother, and I guess I d have to say that if it wasn t for Darryl Davis, I d probably be dead." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was, like he said, I was born in Union, Old Mississippi, and I was born in a family that was a very violent, alcoholic family." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And there was a lot of things that I saw when I was growing up, and still PTSD, and to even a soldier." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "During this time," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I didn t have any self-esteem, I was embarrassed, I didn t have any self-esteem, I was angry, full of anger, and I was looking for a place to fit in." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And right there in Indian Oak, Mississippi, was the backyard of the Ku Klux Klan and the white citizens camp." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I went looking for the imperial wizard of that Klan, and then tracking down in Louisiana, Bill Wilkerson," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and it was his name." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they appeared in Chippewa, Mississippi, put their arm around me, met me, and said, oh, we ll take care of you, and you won t have to worry about anything else." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Things of that nature, and I fell for a fruit line and a sinker." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I spent mostly 20 years inside that movement, and the" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The main thing was that, you know, as soon as I joined, I felt an immediate feeling of importance." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I found what I was looking for at home." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And of course, it s kind of a complicated case because I was raised by a black family." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You were raised by a black family?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was raised by a black lady." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So much hate if you were raised by those that took care of you." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, that s," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The anger, all the anger and the hatred, even the hatred I had for her myself, just over, you know, it took over and... Projected it out." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Hard to explain." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And of course, being raised by a black lady, I kind of separated myself from her and her family." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then there was Rex Scott Coffins, and she happened to die just a couple of years ago, two days before her 104th birthday." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I m very lucky and very fortunate that I was able to make amends with her before she passed away." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Her entire family was my family." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me just interject something there." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Scott s grandmother was also raised by Rebecca Scott Hawkins." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the South, oftentimes, Black women were nannies to families." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Becky was the nanny to Scott s grandmother, his mother, and him." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she died at the age of 104 just a couple weeks ago." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so grateful you were able to make amends with her." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How did she respond to your change of heart and soul and spirit here?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was her reaction?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, I separated myself from her and the rest of the family, because like I said, the rest of the family was my family too." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We spent holidays together, played in the yard together when I was a kid." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It had been years and years before I d seen, you know, since I d seen him because of my activity, I was embarrassed and things like that." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And of course, I went to her door." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was trying to, you know, I made the decision that really, this really wasn t my way of thinking because I was raised by her and I think she was the little bitty voice in the back of my head that always was agate, you know," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "nagging at me and things like that." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I went to her door and knocked on it and not only did she open her door, she opened her arms and hugged me and said, told me she knew I d always come back home." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It was a very emotional thing." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what, so you didn t, you weren t just a member of the KK, you moved up to the state level, to the national level, Imperial Wizard." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, what allowed you to move up?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then what, in the conversations with Darryl, how d that come about and how did that change you so radically?" }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, by the time I was 19, I was Grand Dragon in the state of Tennessee." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it really doesn t work that way because you re usually older, people of older age," }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "hold that position." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I heard about Darryl when I was inside the movement." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I heard what he was doing, trying to convert, not convert, but help people get out of the movement, white supremacist movement." }, { "chunk": "16", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And Darryl, to me, was crackpot." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but he was a nut and of course I ignored him and of course didn t think much about him you know the rest of the years and then it came that time where I was really ready to get out and I didn t know how I mean I found myself in a situation where I had friends that I grew up with on one side that didn t want to have anything to do with me because I was going to plan" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then I had the people on the other side of the thing that said, well, Glansman, and they didn t want to have anything to do with me because they knew that I was trying to back out and that I was moving." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just happened to see Darryl Davis on Discovery Channel." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when he was on TV, he made a lot of sense to me." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What did he say that made sense to you initially that grabbed you?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, basically, one of the things he said, you know, of course, what he says is, how can you hate me if you don t love me?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I turned around and I asked myself that question." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t have an answer." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not have an answer." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I still don t have an answer." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And of course, I don t hate him now." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love him." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Guys are different." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I look at me grin on Daryl s face giggling right now." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What, what would you say Scott to someone who s who believes that anyone else you know because it s we re dealing with black white here but if I go to Israel and Palestine and you see people there that are" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know being treated, you know as subhuman we can go there are people in this country because of coronavirus that Our chinese nationality have nothing to do with it that people attack What would you say to somebody who s locked into racism?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To get them to start to open that door or what would you say to any of us that may know someone?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I knew I grew up with a" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of my grandfathers, I loved and adored, but we would have the most unbelievable intense arguments." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He was a little boy because he was injured so much in his life by, quote, Jewish people and by, you know, he used the N word, African Americans." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I couldn t believe it because I knew him as such a good man and he d become this monster." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And one of my greatest frustrations as a child was like, how can he think this way?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How could I get through to him?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the way to get through to someone who s that conditioned or stuck?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would you say if you were trying to help somebody yourself in that situation?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would you say to them or what would you get them to experience to begin to create that opening?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me say this, I contacted Darryl and Darryl returned my phone call and we exchanged calls and became friends and I ve learned a lot from him and I hope he s learned something too." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I ve learned a lot from Darryl and the main thing is conversation." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Conversation is what really is the key to this whole situation." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what I would ask him." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, let s have a conversation." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sit down, let s talk." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And of course, that s one of the things that brought Darryl and I together." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t even know he was a musician." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And here I was in Indianola, Mississippi, on the BB King, and Darryl was a musician." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that gave us a common subject to work from, and it s grown into a brotherhood." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s the music that s the language of the soul." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The heart goes across all colors, all backgrounds." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Music does a lot." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Music does a lot." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People would be really surprised what it does." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course, he mentioned B.B." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "King." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will say that B.B." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "King did more for racial relations in Mississippi Delta than he knows." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was honored to appear with Daryl in Atlanta, Georgia at the Martin Luther King Center." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "uh in January or two both years and uh I was very honored and emotionally so I was able to apologize to Denise King for the things that I had done and and said about her father." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said a lot of awful things." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d like to apologize to Mr. Martin Luther King III there." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d like to apologize to everyone on the panel." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I m grateful, very grateful that I m not the same person I am today that I was then." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been a good, God bless." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Scott, thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And even though I ve not done those things, I still apologize to all of you men and women for all that you ve gone through on behalf of anyone that s ever harmed you or harmed those you love." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This has been a beautiful experience that s the beginning, not the end of action." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what this is all about." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Scott, thank you for your actions." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it s great to think differently, have a change of heart, but you ve acted on it and you ve done good in your beginning." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Continue to do good." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So thank you for that." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Last but not least, Dr. Michael Beckwith, who, by the way, look at this gorgeous man." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What you ve done with Agape and what you ve done with your life to serve people is truly extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re a unifier." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s one of the reasons why I wanted you here in this slot here was not making you last." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know what your heart is and your soul is about." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So tell us, where do you see we are?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What has helped you to bring people together from all religions, all races, all backgrounds?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s your secret?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the secret sauce there?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And tell us what you see in this current situation and what maybe makes you optimistic where we need to go." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, thank you." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, Tony for even for having this can be convening this gathering." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not been agitated for time not one second, listening to every single speaker everyone had something to say from a very powerful lens and I appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I started Agape 34 years ago, and Agape, I derived that from the word, from the speech from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who talked about the highest form of the love, the love of God operating in the human heart." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had an organization called Agape Transformationals." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which was a combination of agape love and transformational was from Malcolm X, because he had transformed his life in the eye." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So agape emerged from that." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I met Dr. King as a small boy at Holman s Methodist Church when I was about 10 years old, shook his hand, and I said to my mom, he has such soft hands." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, baby, he does a different kind of work." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ve been influenced." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Dr. Martin Luther King III, we re very good friends." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I work with him and his family." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just in summary of what everyone has said, if you re Black, you have gone through the fire of racism and bigotry and walking into a room and being the other." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when I attended Morehouse College, and I went there because that was Dr. King s alma mater." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first week there, I went out to Greenbrier to go roller skating, and my friends and I were skating around, and when we finished taking off our skates, the police officer came up to us and said to us, do you niggers want to be buried inside or outside?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went from California, you know, and we asked him to repeat himself and he said it again." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ran out of the skating ring, ran across the street that hide in this construction and pickup trucks began to fill the parking lot with shotguns in the back talking on walkie talkies looking for us." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The person who was driving us had gone to get some gas." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when he pulled into the parking lot, we ran and dived into the window and started driving back to Atlanta." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they followed us and we got closer to Atlanta." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They backed off." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my first couple of weeks in Atlanta, Georgia in the 70s." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At Morehouse, we rented a hotel, having a party." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Police came, threw us up against the wall, arrested us for criminal trespassing and told us we did not have the right to be in that neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I could go that kind of experience education, when I was in junior high school, my teacher." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had to do an autobiography, a future autobiography." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I wrote in my future autobiography that when I grow up, I m going to go to USC." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to study this and that and the other." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And anyway, she graded me down and said my dreams were too big for a person like me, that I could not think of myself of going to USC." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to think of something more realistic." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was in junior high school." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went home and told my mother, I showed her the paper." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She marched up to the school, obviously." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she, you know, uh, talked to the principal and talked to the, uh, to the teacher." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was an interesting time for me in high school." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can remember being pulled over." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to go on the track team." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would jog around my neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The police would stop me on a pretty regular basis." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where are you running to?" }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have my track uniform on." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m jogging." }, { "chunk": "17", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my mother taught us." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that when the police pull you over or harass you or stop you, get the badge number." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to go down to the Rimpole Police Station, file a complaint." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we would get in trouble if she heard that we had been harassed and didn t do this." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because she said, we have to create a file on these racist police officers." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was a part of our training." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She taught us how to get home safe, how to make our hands visible, how to speak." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the same time, remember the badge number," }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Create in your mind the badge number, try to get the name, and then go report it." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think everybody in this room, everybody in this zoom room, who s of African American descent have had similar experiences, I could go on and on and on about my own." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when we go to the insidious nature of racism, and a lot of people have already talked about this, you go back to 1619, when the first forced immigrants who were forced into slavery hit the United States, which wasn t even the United States at that particular time." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In order to rationalize the inhumane treatment, they had to create a narrative that Black people, Africans, were not human." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bishop said three fourths in the Constitution, we weren t human beings." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that particular narrative became insidiously within the culture." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even though slavery was abolished, the narrative wasn t abolished." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Public lynching was abolished." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The narrative wasn t abolished." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jim Crow became abolished." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The narrative wasn t abolished." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have police brutality." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a legal system in which justice is supposed to be blind, but we all know that justice peaks." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He lifts up the blindfold." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re a person of color," }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or even a poor person, you re going to have a different set of justice than you were if you were a rich white man." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so with a mass incarceration, the criminal justice system meeting out different forms of justice, people are just suffering from fatigue." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see when you know the protests are also an element of anger and rage, but also just fatigue of the years of the insidious racism and bigotry, you know, it is said that if an app and that by time an African American boy seven years old." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has a psychological immune system, antibodies, to racism." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He knows when he walks in a room, he s looked upon differently." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He can feel it." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a special sense." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s a fatigue that we carry over the years." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I agree with Doc Rivers dad." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re not here to be victims." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We may be victimized, but we re not embracing victimhood." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we learn to love and appreciate ourselves, to know who we are, answer by our real names, develop a great sense of who we are." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what I m heartened by is this particular protest does carry not only" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every race in the streets, we have our white brothers and sisters, our Asian brothers and sisters who, you know, suffered from, you know, the camps back in the day, Japanese internment camps, every Latino brothers and sisters, black brothers and sisters, gay brothers and sisters, you know, everybody has their own level of oppression, but we re all in the streets together." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is unprecedented, because finally as individuals have mentioned that people are beginning to hear that people of color have not been making this up has not been an exaggeration." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not been, we re just being victimized, you know, or feeling that we re being a victim or making excuses for things that we re growing through." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is real stuff happening." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So finally, other people besides African Americans, because someone already said this, that our conversation with each other, you know, we know the conversation." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can just nod at each other." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can just say, yeah, we know already." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, but individuals outside of that, our white brothers and sisters are now hearing and saying, wow, this is systemic." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is endemic." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been going on a long time." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something must change because black people are not going to deconstruct racism." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be white people and black people and all of us together that deconstructs it." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It begins to change the narrative that each individual is a unique expression of infinite potential that regardless of the color of the skin the sexual orientation the gender, you know, we all know that all these truths to be self evident, but as our brother who was." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "transformed and transformed himself from being a Ku Klux Klan member to now being an individual who loves humanity, black people and everyone, you know, the narrative must change." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as Doc said, that s education." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, so there s different levels of this." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s one, the rage," }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and the passion that led to the protest that s necessary to push the needle." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without that, you re not going to see those four officers being arrested." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to see, perhaps, Ahmaud Arbery, those white supremacists, being brought to some level of justice." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know what that level of justice is going to be yet, but at least they were arrested." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not going to see this kind of movement." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you need that." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then after that, you need vision, then you need strategy," }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then you need implementation." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the passion and the protest and the anger, eventually we have to begin to articulate a vision of what s possible." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does a kind and just global society look like?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does a justice system look like in which justice is really blind?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I sometimes joke about the fact that perhaps when people go to court, we can have a way in which the jury doesn t even know what ethnicity they are." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they poor?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they black?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they Asian?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they Mexican?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and of course that s, you know, probably absurd, but at some point we have to provide a way by which the justice system is even for everyone." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to have to develop strategy around policing," }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as our brother indicated this gentleman, not he s not a gentleman, but this individual had 18 infractions, nothing happened." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, not only policing hiring training, you know, psychological evaluations." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, are these individuals that we re hiring as police officers, are they kind?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they compassionate?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they want to do good?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is their psychological profile?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What kind of training are we giving?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t give a two week sensitivity training when individuals are going to be dealing with the community for long periods of time." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They only have a high school diploma." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing wrong with the high school diploma." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, but an individual that s only had a high school diploma and has very limited training and has a training in how to use a gun and very little training on how to be a human being, how to deescalate, you know, it s absurd for them to even be a police officer." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re talking, one, the systemic racism that comes from a narrative." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that is systemic within society." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the other thing that s heartening about everybody, everybody has to have skin in the game." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just black people." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody has to have skin in the game because now the conversation, people are having uncomfortable conversations about white privilege." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And other people, certain people are saying, well, what is that?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There has to be an education around that." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last year, there was a young boy here at Agape who, white guy, he was 15 years old." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Took his father s car in the middle of the night." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Father and mother didn t know about it." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Picked up his friends." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They had two white kids in the back, one white kid in the front." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s four white guys driving." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The police pull him over." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they ask for his license." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He doesn t have a license." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s 15." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He looks at the four white kids in the car and says, where are you going?" }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He says, oh, we were going to the beach to take pictures." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there was some stuff going on." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, OK, go home." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go home right now." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, we all know those were four black kids that had taken the car without a license." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They would have gone to jail." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They would have had a record." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They would have been fingerprinted and taken to jail, and they would have begun the process of actually having an arrest record." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was talking to his mom about the fact this is your teaching moment to let your son know about what white privilege is, that if his counterpart for a black guy is driving, they would have gone to jail." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this particular woman, who is a spiritual therapist in our community, is developing something called white women talking to white women or white mothers talking to white mothers." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re beginning to have a conversation about white privilege, how to teach their children about what it is." }, { "chunk": "18", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a level of sensitivity around what African Americans, Mexicans, some" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Asians go through on a regular basis." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I ll tell you a story." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The year before Nelson Mandela was elected president, I was called over to South Africa to lead the vision process in different parts of the country because they had got to the point where they were obviously dismantling apartheid." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they wanted to be able to now have a vision of what the country would look like after apartheid." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I traveled over there with parts of my choir, about 12 or 13 spiritual practitioners, and I was leading the vision process and talking throughout South Africa." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we were in Soweto." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At the time, the city was deemed the most violent city in the world." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And our choir was practicing with the Soweto Choir." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is obviously from agape, it s integrated." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, everybody s in the choir, white, black." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of a sudden, the assistant director of the Swayto Choir runs in and says, quick, get all the white people out of here." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The people are coming to get them." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My choir started laughing." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They thought he was joking." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, this man is not joking." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get in the bus right now." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we hid the white people under the seats in the bus." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we had black people sit on the seats, the white people under us." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if somebody were to come on the bus, they wouldn t see the white people sitting under us." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we all had blankets on our legs and hiding them." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was a very tense moment." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went to the front of the bus." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, listen, if they come in here," }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to say, these are my white people, they belong to me, you know, and everybody started laughing and we broke the ice." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We traveled out throughout Soweto, back to the hotel, and the individuals with their guns and shovels and sickles were coming into town looking for the white people." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got to the hotel safely." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we processed all night." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was the first time that these white people, these are progressive white people." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are people that go to Agape, people who want the conversation." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They had no experience of what it felt like to be haunted, to be hated, to be almost on the verge of being killed because of the color of their skin." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They had no, and they were saying, this is what you guys have gone through." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is what your ancestors have gone through." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is what your grandparents have gone through." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we were able to process all night." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, of course, that ripples out into the community." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When people have these dialogues now, there s going to be a dialogue that starts, I guess, I think it s tomorrow night at Agape online where people were having a big dialogue about privilege, a big dialogue about racism, a big dialogue about solutions, a big dialogue." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s for the whole community that it s happening." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we say to our white brothers and sisters, don t tap into" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the guilt of perhaps your ancestors owning slaves." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tap into your ancestry of the abolitionist who stood up for what s right." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tap into that ancestry." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sure you can find an ancestor somewhere that was an abolitionist that said, justice is for all." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Begin to tap into that frequency and begin to bring forth that dynamic of enough is enough." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and begin to cultivate what is called compassion." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Compassion is the highest." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Compassion is the understanding of the lack of understanding." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s walking in another person s shoes." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, there s two conversations." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s the conversation I have with black people that say you re not to see yourself as a victim." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are to go deep in doing your inner work to heal your scar tissue." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "your wounds, to go deep and to go deep levels of forgiveness, not letting people off the hook, but so that you re not carrying the resentment and the animosity that s going to block your own success in life." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, go deep in that." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to the white people, I say the conversation for you is compassion and to have an understanding of what people have gone through." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that you re not turning a blind eye," }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not, it s not off your radar." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not that it doesn t concern me." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody has to have skin in the game at this time in human history." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, history is in the making right now." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are we part of making it or are we bystanders watching it?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, I m heartened, you know, there are movements, protests in Syria." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a war going on in Syria, protests in Syria." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s protests in Amsterdam, New Zealand." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "France, all around the world, people are rising up and saying this systemic bigotry and racism must come to an end." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think this is a powerful moment, Tony, that the conversation that you re providing for us today is a beginning, but now we have to have a vision." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to be able to articulate what does, on the local level, what does real policing look like?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does the justice system look like?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey, what does healthcare look like?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have a sick care system, not a healthcare system." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we have to begin to provide the vision and then strategy to move in that direction and then implementation." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as I like to say, everybody can t do everything, but everybody can do something." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That we have to figure out, you know, what is it that s ours to do?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people, what s theirs to do is to be on the streets right now." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people are quelling the violence." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people are articulating that this must stop." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people might be within the system actually providing what things look like if they re operating ideally." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and then beginning to put the right people in place politically, the right people in place administratively, that can carry that vision to be implemented." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this isn t the time in human history to sit and to bystand and think this is going to go away in a couple of weeks." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to ask ourselves, what is it?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s mine to do." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is, you know, obviously there s been so much said, and if I keep going on, I know I ll just repeat what my brothers have already, and sisters have already spoken to, but I m in absolute agreement." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m totally in appreciative mode of what you have done here today." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we all have our experiences with bigotry and racism." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, I did go to U.S." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think I ll just wrap it up there because so much has been said that I have embraced from everyone that you brought together today." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, thank you, Michael." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just have one question, short one from you, if you can give me the core of it." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to ask our last three questions to the group as a whole." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about unity." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I try to figure out the solution, I think there s some pragmatic ones when you talk about like barring chokeholds." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty freaking obvious." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know nothing about martial arts." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how sensitive this area is, how easy even someone without that intent could harm someone, right?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Much less somebody who s pumped up in testosterone and anger and rage and whatever else is going on inside that mind." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "yes but there s certainly things that we can do and we want to talk about those but what do you think has allowed you to be such a unifier you know I look around this virtual room here and we have people that have experienced so much pain but somehow they didn t let the pain stop them they didn t let rage stop them they converted it into drive to do something good you know from Martin Luther you know King to Daryl to you know every person on this group Laura" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do you think has made you a unifier?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what, you know, when I try to find the ultimate answer, there s the systemic pieces that have to be done." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to me, the ultimate answer is unity." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ultimate answer, that s another word for just love." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we have love, we treat each other so radically different." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter how people behaved in the past or experienced their color of skin or any of those things." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what has made you a unifier and what can make us unified?" }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, there s two things." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One, you re dealing with our deep spiritual nature, that regardless of your religion, when you get to the practices of every religion, you re going to bump into forgiveness," }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and you re going to bump into love." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to begin to cultivate both of that." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to begin to forgive, and forgiveness does not mean condoning an act or letting people off the hook." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All forgiveness is self-forgiveness, meaning you have to let go of the resentment, the animosity," }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "within your own soul so that you have a clear availability to wisdom and guidance and direction." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you have to cultivate a heart as big as the world that you re embracing." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was Howard Thurman that said it is impossible to love humanity in general." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can only love humanity in particular." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To say I love humanity doesn t mean anything." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a generalization." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s abstract." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to love the person you re with." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As our brother has been working with individuals who were Ku Klux Klan or, you know, I ve worked with skinheads and that they re now part of my community." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to love the individual in front of you that you may not agree with." }, { "chunk": "19", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe in a different political party and maybe" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "have a different color of skin, you have to learn, we all have to learn how to love in particular in order to change the fabric of our society." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so through my own spiritual awakening, there s a pulse beat of love that I have for the beings." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care what you look like." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I can remember my mother, I have to call her name Alice Geneva Beckwith," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who organized pickets." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were a part of Jesse Jackson s crew in the early days." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she would go to hear Dr. King and Malcolm X. And my house was like central to planning and strategy as to what store we were gonna boycott this month in order to provide for better jobs for people of color." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in that living room at my mother s house, there were Jewish people, there were black people," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There were Hispanic people, there were gay people, even before people could come out the way they can now." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so in my consciousness, I ve always was raised to embrace all people." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not something I had to go learn, but I will say this." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If there s a level of uncomfortability around people, they need to study, they need to learn." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jane Fonda was just on an interview and she s very progressive, but she said for the last three years, she studied, she read all of these books to finally get an understanding of what black people have been going through." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she s more sensitive to it." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she s not an individual that hasn t been on the forefront of environmental issues, war issues, you know, and so," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So unity is a good word, union is a good word, but it all has to be steeped in unconditional love, which is, you said this earlier, and I say it a different way." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I say belief is an operational substitute for knowing, that you can believe all that stuff, but at some point, you have to have an encounter with your soul, and then you begin to see differently." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you begin to see that we re all made directly from the source of all creation, the presence of God." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t mean a magical man in the sky." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m talking about the presence that s never an absence, the presence of love and beauty and intelligence that birthed us all in the image and likeness so that we can perfectly reflect that love and that beauty." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re all in search of that kind of encounter through our own deep spiritual practice and inquiry." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we do," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll create a kind and just global society." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we will be kind and just individuals." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll all experience the spiritual love and joy that that brings that you can t have any other way." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your father, Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Martin, one of my favorite phrase for him is a man or a person who s not found something he s willing to die for isn t fit to live." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think all of us in this room have that common understanding that we have to have something to serve more than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s where I think love comes from." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just an internal experience of getting what you want." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an experience of a life of meaning, and a life of meaning comes when we understand for things to change, we ve got to change." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For things to get better, we ve got to get better." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not somewhere outside of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, thank you, Michael." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last two questions I have for points are, I d like for the whole group, and again, thank you." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve gone way over the time." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think these last two are simple but important." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to finish with what can we do?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve talked about it, but I d like to hear of you that want to say these are the specifics." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Many of them gone." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll walk through that in a second." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But before that, Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s bizarre to me that human beings hear Black Lives Matter and they think that s controversial." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I understand because when you dig in and ask people what they believe in, you often hear people say, well, wait a second, especially people that aren t African-American, let s like all lives matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And well, yes, all lives matter, obviously, but they don t get what the message is." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not saying Black Lives Matter and nobody else does." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s saying we re under attack." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been attacked for centuries, attacked for decades." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need your help." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that message somehow gets lost, because especially when people are in intense states of anger, which what else could they have?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Often what that does, as you said earlier, produces fear and produces anger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we went through this syntax with Daryl a little bit ago." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I saw a little poster that I thought, you know, I ve sent it to people that have these conversations that I ll throw up on the screen." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d like each of you to share, you know, what s the problem with all lives matter?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I understand, but I want to hear from your voices." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does Black Lives really matter?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the essence of it?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And throw it up on the screen, this beautiful little girl holding up this poster." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what it says here, if you guys can see it, is it says, we said Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never said only Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know all lives matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just need your help." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With the Black Lives Matter for Black Lives are in danger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, in one poster, this little girl, I think," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just put it so clear because it answers the question a lot of it but I d like you anyone to address this please address this because I want to take away this illusion that some people seem to have that black people are saying we re the ones that matter which is the most absurd thing I could possibly hear but people believe it and I have to remind myself they know not what they do right you know it s like" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, based on their upbringing, based on their beliefs, based on their conditioning, they couldn t believe anything else in this moment, but they could believe something new if we can create an opening." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what this set of conversations has been about." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what Daryl s been doing." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what you all have been doing." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyone who d like to address this, I d like to hear your view of, you know," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black Lives Matter and what it s really about, so that people that are not within the movement, maybe have a deeper perspective of what its message is." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope this conversation as a whole has already answered it, but I think we should answer it specifically." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m going to come back to you with the last question, which is what definitive steps" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can we, all those who are listening, take to make a difference?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, obviously making your voice heard is a piece of that, but to me, the ones that natural to me is we gotta, we gotta stop chokeholds as a systemic component by anybody with consequences so severe it can t be used unless it s life and death survival." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we ve got to make sure that there s some penalty for those that don t share or don t stop someone from doing this." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If someone is saying, I can t breathe, there s got to be" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "an instant stop, or there s got to be a penalty stronger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are my illusions of what needs to be done systemically." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d like to hear what each of you think we need to do systemically and personally." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can we do so we leave here taking action?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because being inspired is nice." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to me, there are two great orators of antiquity, Demophenes and Cicero." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cicero is done speaking, everybody said what a great speech." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When Demophanes is done, people said let us march." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My goal is let us march, not just protest, but march in some form of action that moves this conversation that you ve given three hours of your lives to, so that we can see some progress." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know we re not going to be the end all and be all on one conversation, but we can make" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "real progress with people that care." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So first, anyone want to address Black Lives Matter and its real mission and service?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then second, let s come to what do we do?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll wrap up this beautiful conversation." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that when we hear black lives matter if we can, if people can understand it is saying black lives matter to black lives matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, it is not saying other lives don t matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is saying that we ve been under siege for so long, in terms of how we ve been treated by the legal system." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how we ve been treated by brute force by police departments, how we ve been treated by redlining, mass incarceration, poor health care, poor education based on the neighborhoods we ve been living in." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Black lives matter also." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what it means." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, Black Lives Matter, in some cases, some legal entities see them as a terrorist group, which is just ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not a terrorist group." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Black Lives Matter is an educational group to push the needle forward that black lives matter also." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if individuals can think also," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then they ll won t be up in arms and have to rush really fast to say all lives matter." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We know all lives matter, but historically our lives haven t mattered." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I get it." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would someone else like to share in this area?" }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, I would probably just piggyback on what he s saying." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not, you know, the thing that I ve realized for myself and what I realized that happens," }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When, you know, people have the community speak about their feelings and their thoughts and what they re going through." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oftentimes, depending on the tone of voice, it s always taken out of content saying that it s of anger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you know, it s coming from a place of anger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, it s coming from a place of anger." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, it s coming from a place of hurt." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if you haven t experienced it, of course you re gonna take that offensively." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But as humans, we should look at it as, think about it if it was you and your family." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So of course you re gonna be angry about it." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Of course you re gonna be, it s gonna come off however you take it." }, { "chunk": "20", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I think that this movement is looked upon as being like this angry, aggressive, well," }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some form of it, yes, they are, because as it said before, it s come to a point where we re fed up." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one should have to witness their kid going to the store, buying something simple, and this is a great kid, and then they never see that kid again." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who wouldn t feel every emotion possible?" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yes, sometimes it is anger." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, sometimes it is pain." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it is." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the end of the day, everybody is saying the same thing." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a basic statement." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t understand how it s always taken out of content to be this negative movement." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it is what it is." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black lives matter." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s no" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "other simpler way to say it, but Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure if it was said another way, it d be taken out of content that way." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like nothing us as a community say is ever what it is." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always taken to somebody else s personal perspective and like amplified something negative." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not fair." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is what it is." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black Lives Matter." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how else simpler to say it." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Perfect." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Perfect." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s finish with what actions that Shelby you ve mentioned some already." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what, what do you hope will come out of this conversation." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Someone is watching this conversation." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, hopefully, those that are brown skin, those that are part of the LGBT community, those that experienced any form" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of racism or any form of oppression, understand this conversation was for them as well." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this one is about the African-American experience primarily here because of what s happening right now." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we re really just talking about humanity here." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what are the actions that we could take or someone at home should take and you d want them to take so that this three hours actually led to something?" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, education and compassion certainly is a first step because it changes relationships." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve all experienced that." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Daryl s demonstrated that." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what will you give us one or two things you d like to see happen that you think could either change the systemic problems or that just an individual can be part of the solution as we wrap up here." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, I ll say" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Two things." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One, our country can only become one of two things." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It can become, number one, that which we sit back and let it become, or it can become, number two, that which we stand up and make it become." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we have to ask ourselves the question, do I want to sit back and see what my country becomes, or do I want to stand up and make my country become what I want to see?" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And something that we have to remember is this." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When two enemies are talking, they re not fighting." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re talking." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even if they get loud, they re still talking." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s when the conversation ceases that the ground becomes fertile for violence." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So keep the conversation going." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You certainly demonstrated that." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bishop, would you like to?" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, I want to jump in just a little bit." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I had an experience" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Years ago, our church was integrated, but years ago, it wasn t to the degree that it is now, and it s hopefully not now to the degree that it s going to be." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But an older white lady came to our church and she came down to the altar and said, I listen to you on television, I always enjoy your ministry, she said, but I was so afraid to come to your church, she said, because I wasn t sure that white people could come here." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that exploded in my head and it led me to a deeper understanding that some things that we categorize as racism are really fear." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think it s important that we don t give people a blueprint how to be out of their comfort zone." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "For African-Americans, it has been easy because we ve had no choice but to have not only IQ, but intellectual quotients, but we also had to have emotional quotients." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And above all things, we had to have adaptability quotient because in order to survive as a minority, I can t get a GED without understanding white culture, but you could get a PhD and not understand my culture." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow, so true." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You have not had to assimilate." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve not had to be listening to a different kind of music or be in a different atmosphere or wear clothes that were not natural organic to who you are." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I have always had to watch what you do and emulate it in order to be accepted in your environment." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So my AQ is quite high." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so my advice to people who are really interested in becoming more adaptable, because that s really what it s requiring that you come out of the safety of your silo, your tribe, and your bubble, and integrate, which is frightening." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s really frightening, especially when you re not used to it." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is my advice to you." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Find things that we have in common to connect with." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There are always distinctives and the media focuses on our distinctives because divisions drive up ratings." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Instead of allowing the media to shape your perception of me, find things that are common to us and start your relationship like that." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because if healing and love and all the things we re talking about are going to occur, they re going to occur amongst friends." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The amazing presentation that Dr. Davis delivered and his friend who came from the KKK is that friendship became the bridge that they crossed." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "to connect." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I don t think people always know how to befriend somebody whose background is different, but there s always something common." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is old school, and I m going to date myself with this, but we were taught in school that in order to work with fractions or multiply them or divide them, you had to reduce them to their lowest common denominator." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t think they do that anymore, but that s the way they taught us back then." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Do you remember that?" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When you re trying to connect with somebody of which you have so many distinctives and differences, reduce it down to your lowest common denominator." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You love your kids, I love my kids." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You like to eat, I like to eat." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You like music, I like music." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s start with what we like." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if we can connect over what we like, then gradually we can discuss things that we think that we don t like." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I want to encourage everybody to lose the fear of getting outside of the orbit of what is comfortable to you and to start a conversation by looking for things that are common to men." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And from that, we can begin to develop a narrative that embraces distinctives that are often not even legitimate, but have been taught to us in public relations." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They teach us whoever goes first in telling their story, that s the perception you walk away with." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it depends on what news channel you watch, what Black Lives Matter means to you." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It often has a lot to do with who said it to you first and what context they taught it to you." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So break away from your first teacher and your first experience and rethink that that black lives do matter and white lives do matter and young lives do matter and old lives do matter and let s let s name it each time that is threatened." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "rather than to throw it all into the soup and act like all lives are being threatened simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Two years from now, we might be talking about all lives matter because people may be seeking to destroy us on the basis of age." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s whoever is up under attack at that moment." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And right now, amongst other people groups, black lives are largely under attack." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so that s where our focus is today." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you talking about bridging and finding with that common basic common denominator because that s what I attempt to do myself and I think it s the greatest compliment in the world that we find the depth of love for our children, for our family, for society, for our desire to do something meaningful with our lives that isn t" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "inside of every one of us." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every one of us needs to feel like we re important, that our life is meaningful, like we re loved, and that we can love, and that we can have some certainty that we can have more, you know, pleasure than pain in our life, more comfort at least than pain, because pain is going to come for all of us." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The one common denominator is extreme stress." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all going to experience" }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "those extreme moments and all of you just because of the color of your skin have had those experiences and then life gives them to us in many other ways." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all going to lose a loved one." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all going to be in a place where maybe our house burns down and we lose our job or the government changes the rules and suddenly you know your business is gone." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all going to face those things." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Horrific challenges that are there but what makes us human, I believe," }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is our capacity to be resilient through all that and to grow spiritually so that our compassion, our heart and soul grows and we connect and unify more." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in that, we feel the love and joy." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, separation is suffering." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have been separated as a brother and sisterhood for so long." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s constructed, it s cultural construction." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has nothing to do with our DNA." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has nothing to do with our humanity." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s how we ve been educated and how we ve been pushed." }, { "chunk": "21", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Quincy Jones is a dear friend of mine and the greatest company ever gave me calls me my wife s age I little." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "ghetto brother and sister, and he says, you know, Tony goes, your DNA." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, what s that?" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, damn near African." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the greatest gift that I could hear." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s like, we have so much more in common than we do have apart." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But people have to be willing, as you said, Bishop, is to step out of that comfort." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you get out of that comfort, you discover that life is much more comfortable than you think it is, because all this shit is in our head." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not in our head what s being done to people of color, but what s in our head is those differences and those judgments." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I can t thank all of you enough." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Martin, I want to give you the last word, if I may, of anything you want to share in terms of action moving forward." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Any final words?" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to maybe perhaps encourage an assignment." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Many people" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "believe they know who Martin Luther King Jr." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "was and what his vision was for our nation and world." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I believe that everyone has to determine what is the vision that you want for your family or yourself for our nation and world." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But to truly understand my dad, then you need to read the book that I started off talking about, Where Do We Go From Here, Chaos or Community, where he talks about the world house, the world in which we must engage and live in because it gives us" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "pragmatic and practical ways to create this world and really the beloved community." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If we had the essence of that," }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Dr. Beckwith, Bishop Jakes, and so many other leaders preach about this love, this universal love that we as a nation and as a world must engage in and can." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is demonstrated every day." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are seeing some of that love exhibited by people bowing down." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We saw that at the very beginning of the film where it showed" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "some apologizing for how blacks have been treated." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s even bigger than that." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s even bigger than that because, you see, humankind has a capacity that other animal forms don t have." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All we got to do is to tune into that internal part of who we are." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "because we ve been made in the image of, but we are incredible human." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, think about when there s a tornado, a tsunami, a hurricane." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "people, Americans, roll up their sleeves and they come to give." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They give the best." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They don t ask you what color you are." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They don t ask you what your sexual orientation is." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They don t want to know anything." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They just want to help you get out of that condition." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are a phenomenal and amazing society." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We got to find a way to constantly bring that good out of us." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it all revolves, I would say, around love." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So yes, we must pray for change." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We must work for change." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We must be the change." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet, if love is not yet won, the battle is not yet over." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I agree, my brothers." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I cannot thank you all enough." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know I ve said this so many times, but I love you all." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love your souls." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, people say love." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love is a word that s overused in some ways." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You love your dog." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You love your friend." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You love society." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You love whatever, but I love your souls." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thank you for being so vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for your truth." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for sharing your pain and your vision." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for sharing your love." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my heartfelt prayer is, you know, it s going to take more than this, but this will open some minds and hearts and souls and move some people to action." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are in a moment in history in which a change can be made, and you ve all spent your lives to get to that point, and you ve all suffered immensely." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But again, you know, out of suffering, some great, some good must come." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And out of your suffering, I promise you I ll do everything in my power to get this out to as many people as well as be, you know, a heartfelt example of that myself." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to thank each of you, and most of you in here are actually friends of mine." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Daryl, I consider you now a new friend as well." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You too." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll do anything in my power, and you re all welcome to call upon me if there s anything I can do to support your community, your family, or anybody." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Count me in your corner." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As you said, Bishop Jakes, I m in your corner always." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think you know that." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Laura, you re such a look at this bright light you are and all the stuff you ve been through all that s come out of this in the end still is love and I know that people are going to leave with that feeling that unity." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, my whole goal was in life." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think leadership is about seeing this as it is." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but not worse than it is." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of you have managed to do that somehow, in spite of all the crap you ve been through and pain you ve been through." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just honor you for that, because most people make it worse than it is, so they don t have to try and be disappointed." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, without a vision, people perish, right?" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to see it better than it is." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Otherwise, we can t make it that way." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of you have put that out." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it s our job to make it the way we see it." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s what this conversation has been all about." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So God bless you all." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Count on me in your corner if I can help in any way." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I just want to say I don t want to presume to speak for this group, particularly this group is extremely articulate and intelligent as they are." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But I think it would be remiss of us not to personally thank you as being a catalyst that brought us all together to have the kinds of conversations that would feed the nation." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "You have to be" }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "a very broad and bright and progressive person to have the capacity of love to throw your arms out in the middle of such turbulent times and bring us together." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And I don t want you to be the one who thanks us without knowing how deeply and how sincerely we thank you for being just who you are." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Indeed, yeah." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was going to say the same thing, Bishop." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "As I saw the video that you put out, Tony, and your emotions were very, very raw, very sincere, very heartfelt." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And what you were feeling during this time, it really moved me." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think the last couple of weeks, I ve probably cried more in the last two weeks than I ve cried in a couple of years." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And to feel you resonate with the pain that all of us are going through really touched me at a very deep level." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So along with the bishop and everyone else, I also want to thank you for being the place through which this galvanized into this conversation that will be moved to more love and more action." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love you all." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s my honor." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re all humans of such incredible goodness, and I know it ll inspire people to find the goodness that s already alive inside them and maybe wake it up even a bit more." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless you all." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I look forward to seeing you sometime soon." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "God bless you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Take care." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Stay strong, everybody." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Stay strong." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Stay strong." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "22", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Business owners are a special breed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re determined, resolved, the embodiment of self-reliance and self-determination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it takes more than just these traits to be successful, especially right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this special bonus episode, you ll hear the six things that Tony is doing to take charge of his own businesses, to defy the odds and emerge from this challenge with certainty and strength." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey everybody, it s Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen guys, I know this is an incredibly tough time for all of us and I can only imagine as a business owner, the kind of stresses you re under because people are stressed from the fear of the coronavirus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They ve got stress worrying about their family, often having their kids at home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then you have all your employees, your business, your clients and everything else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for the first time in history, we literally shut down the world economy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just wanted to see if we couldn t offer you some help and some solutions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every single day we have, you know, 1.35 million people die in a car accident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "3,200 people die every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we don t stop driving because other people could injure us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They do every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They cross those yellow lines and it happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what keeps us going is we re born with faith." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t mean religious faith." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean faith." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The ability of certainty in spite of the uncertainties in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s uncertainties every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You walk across the street and you re hit by a car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re driving down the street, 60, 75, 80 miles an hour, and the only thing dividing you from the crazy is a little yellow dotted line." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, every day people lose it and cross over and kill somebody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people do it because they fall asleep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people do it because, you know, they re messed up in the head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people do it because they re texting, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many happens every single day, 3,200 people a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we don t say we re never going to drive because we can hurt each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or how do we drive?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Say we re gonna have to run your business with faith, with a sense of certainty, even though the world s uncertain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You gotta bring that forth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what makes you a leader." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the way you do that is you know the consequence of not doing that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I m not willing to have faith, if I m not willing to have certainty, even though every day somebody could kill me, then I have to stay home and do nothing, which is basically where we are in our lives and businesses right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So faith, we have the ability, but we use it because we know the alternative is to have no life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re going to be going back to work and our lives soon, but not everybody s going to go back with the same head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what I really wanted to do here is maybe just give you six quick little items to think about as triggers, just a little trigger that I m doing on all my companies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, 54 companies, 12 that I actively manage, and they re everything from AI companies to a resort in Fiji to, you know, the LAFC football club, our MLS Major League Soccer team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just like that s one example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here we have a team, I m one of the owners, and we have a season that s been canceled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So imagine you have all the same overhead, huge, incredibly successful team, mass number of employees, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You built the whole new stadium, and now you have no ticket sales." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were selling out every night, 22,000 people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No ticket sales, no TV revenues, no sponsors, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all the overhead." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I know many of you are dealing with that same thing or in Fiji, you know, number one resort in the country been sold out forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No plane flights are going though, even though there s been no cases of death in Fiji." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The rest of the world s freaked out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s stopped." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got 200 employees there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I want you to know I m not talking at you like somebody like trying to pump you up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what you and I have to do is really be creative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got to think things in a new way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And right now, while you can t be at work, perhaps with your employees, now s the time for you to figure out what to do and how to adapt because we don t know what s going to happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I want to focus on is I m going to give you these six quick items." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m going to take two minutes and just show a couple of examples of people that are already adapting and growing their businesses in the middle of time when a lot of their competitors are shrinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I want to give you just a quick little checklist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Six simple things that I m doing as my way of how to work with all the companies I work with to say, how do we deal with this issue?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first one is you ve got to realize that Humpty Dumpty is not going to be put back together again, at least not the same way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot of people that are super optimistic that we re going to go back to work and everyone s going to just go back to the way they were." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, if you re in the movie business and people have been out of the habit of going to movies, not people that go once in a while, but that business is based on movie goers, people that go two, three, four times a month, every Friday or twice a month, that s their business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, they ve been home watching Netflix during this time, and they ve been home away from that habit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now there s friction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I go out, are they going to put a thermostat on me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are they going to?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of the people in the movies are talking about putting people initially six feet apart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who s going to go to a movie with their date sitting six feet apart?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to think differently and say, OK, how will the world change?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how do we adapt to that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are the things that we can do right now to prepare for it before we go back to work?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "uh so that we re ready for that but you can t do that if you re just going to be you know overly optimistic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You also want to be overly pessimistic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What you want to do is step two is you ve got to know your numbers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right now more than ever most entrepreneurs have a cursory understanding of their numbers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ll say to their accountant and most people are counting not a CFO because CFOs are expensive, chief financial officer and they ll say how am I doing you re doing great you re up 10 on profit 20 on profit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of you ve been in business long enough to come the end of year and go" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m 20% profit, where s the cash?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And cash and profit are not the same thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Profit is an accounting principle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a concept." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cash flow is what your business lives on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you ve got to know your numbers, and you ve got to call it tight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meaning, just like you don t want to over-exaggerate, it s going to be perfectly the same, and you don t want to make it the world s over, because then you won t do anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll just give up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll be out of business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Similarly in your numbers, you don t want to pretend it s the same, overly optimistic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t want to be pessimistic that you can t do the job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you have to figure out where the holes are, where the expense are, where you re going to have to cut to survive and therefore then get to thrive again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these are tough decisions, which is the third step." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all my companies, I m teaching all my executives, you ve got to make good tough decisions now because they ll be much harder to do later on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You got to kill the monster while it s little." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Handle the challenge while it s really there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as leaders, all of us are paid to make the tough decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "An easy decision anyone can make because the answer is obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not going to be wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when it comes to tough decisions, that s when most people look to someone else to tell them what to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s, by the way, the few people on here, obviously, there s all kinds of people in this environment giving different pieces of feedback as we ve been talking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the ones that are like, oh, my God, you re not listening to these people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you ve got to think critically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to listen to them and ask questions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to compare the facts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Same thing s true in your own business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to make the tough decision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s got to be cut?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s got to be changed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where are you going to go?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can you do to adapt?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those things need to happen early on now, not three weeks from now, six weeks from now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever it is, we end up getting back to work eight weeks from now, whatever it s going to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fourth, get help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, I have a lot of skill in this area, I m sure you do too, but I m constantly reaching out to leaders who ve been through this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been around long enough to remember 18% inflation back in 1978-79." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was a young kid trying to buy my first piece of real estate, a little triplex, it was 18%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, how do you manage that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you talk to people that went through the 1987 crash, it was shorter, the 1991-2001 when we went through the tech bubble and the 9-11, 2008." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really good to talk to people that have succeeded through tough times because they give you a different perspective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll be interviewing those and I ll be sending out some podcasts related to some of their messaging for you coming forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you want to get help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want to brainstorm solutions and maybe do what we call tests of skunkworks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Skunkworks is, you might say, okay, for example, in one of our businesses that some of you are related to, let s say the seminar business, we had 12,000 people in San Jose, and we had about 2,000 people were afraid, and we gave them their money back, and we had still another 10,000 want to go forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but the governor wouldn t let us go forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, they made it clear, we re not gonna do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Large groups are not gonna matter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we had to reschedule the event, you know, for the summer, which we ve done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in the meantime, like most of our business, we decided to do some tests." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we filmed the entire Unleash the Power Within event to give you an idea in virtual reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we tested it with a group of about 50 people watching in a small room so they could be separated out and so forth and got extraordinary results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do we wanna go do that as our way of delivering?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Heck no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But are we ready to?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The answer is yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now s the time to test some things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of you know our business mastery program in 2008." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We developed that to help businesses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it became just, it was a test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had no idea it would get as big as it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now it s one of the most powerful ways that we are able to touch people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, you need to get yourself in a beautiful state." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And anybody s telling anybody anything other than the religion they ve been taught or that things could get better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You gotta look at your own psychology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t lead from that place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can only lead other people into a place of more fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you can get your own head together in a strong way and get yourself in a beautiful state, beautiful state doesn t mean it s like everything s perfect and easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just finding the good in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m hoping that while you re home with your family, you re finding a way to deepen some of those relationships, even though the environment might be stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Learning how to catch yourself as a leader, learning how to take care of your health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I am training the hardest I ve ever trained in my life because I ve never had this many days off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my six months starting in July, God willing, will be what I normally do in a year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m taking care of my body because my body and my mind are tied together and they are for you too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, and looking for people to serve that are worse off than you are will put your challenge in perspective, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a chance to kind of change old habits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is the time to obsessively find a way to add more value to your clientele." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To see how can I do more for clients than I ve ever done before?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can I do for my clients at this time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can remember in 2008, one of my friends owned a casino there in Las Vegas, and Las Vegas was shutting down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He came to Business Mastery, a very bright businessman." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was the middle of 2008." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was saying, now s the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you over-deliver for your clients now, you ll own them when winter ends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Winter isn t forever, no matter how bad it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some winters are long, some are short, but spring always follows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What follows the night is the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is not forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It will be in some people s heads, and you have to be prepared for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a small business owner and have questions about claiming your share of the government benefits, apply for loans, and keep your employees, and survive and even thrive in this new economy, be sure to check out our latest podcast episode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re looking for even more resources, like how to redesign your financial plan, pivot your revenue streams, and manage your ongoing cash," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony has a business owner stimulus kit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can access it at www.rescuesmallbusiness.com." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s www.rescuesmallbusiness.com." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,752
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey everybody, it s Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, I hope you re home with your family and getting ready to go back to work hopefully soon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re a business owner, I know this is an incredibly tiring time and challenging time for you for any business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I really want to be a source of solutions for anybody we can help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when the first came out, the government came out with their PPP program, their" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "their payroll protection plan and the disaster loans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I immediately worked out and went to several different attorneys and had a hard time getting anybody to give me real answers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it turned out Tyler McBroom was the financial advisor and accountant for us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he does our CFO, virtual CFO services." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He got it done in less than 24 hours for us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got funded." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was incredible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I immediately, immediately he was working with us, said we got to help our clients throughout the United States and around the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we did different" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "webinars for each of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, of course, the money ran out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We put it out immediately so that people could get on board." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We helped a ton of people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in case you missed that, and they ran out of money before you went, they just passed the new laws, I m sure you ve seen, with some more money in this category." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And some of the things are very similar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going to pass the ball to Tyler to explain it to you, and then you can take a look at the webinar and understand what to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or you can reach out to them if you re looking for someone just one-on-one to help you with the services." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Blessings to you during this difficult time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re gonna get through this the other side." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This too shall pass." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And hopefully these funds can help you a little bit over the next 60 or 90 days as you re making that transition to getting back in business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Till then, live strong, live with passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s my partner Tyler." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey there, so it has officially been signed into law, the new $484 billion interim stimulus bill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That includes $370 billion specifically for small businesses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the PPP, Forgivable Payroll Loan Program, and then the Disaster Loan Program as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you re someone who has employees, lots of employees," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "a few employees or even a sole proprietor with zero employees, you need to look into that PPP loan program." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re someone who s had damages and lost revenue or his business has suffered as a result of directly from this COVID-19 pandemic, you need to be looking into that disaster loan program and make sure you take advantage of this round of stimulus funding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was Tyler McBroom, the CEO and managing partner of Measured Results, a CPA firm that s part of Tony s Global Accounting Advisors Alliance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He just explained which loan program you should be looking into based on your specific type of business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re wondering how to go about applying and what you may be eligible to receive, you re about to hear everything you need to know, including answers to many what-if scenarios." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t wait, now is the time to act on claiming your share of the government benefits, apply for loans to keep your employees, and to pivot in this new economy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just a note, what you re about to hear was originally recorded when the first round of funding was released by the government, but the process still applies to this second round." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tyler and Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Before I dive into the high level elements of it, I just want to say very quickly that these" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Interpretations on these discussion points are changing daily." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is what we know right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we re monitoring this literally hour by hour." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve got a whole team going through it, figuring out what the Treasury s coming out with, what the banks are saying, all of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is what we know as of up to this very moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it is going to continue to evolve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then, of course, on these matters, we re going to share some important information." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and things that can definitely apply to your business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But we want to make sure that you want to cover it with your professional, your individual professional to make sure that how it applies to you, this isn t individual tax advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So just got to announce that before we dive in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So now that that s out of the way, let s discuss" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "how to get these people the relief they need." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is at a high level, some of the items that we re going to cover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they have disaster loans of up to $2 million that are at 3.75% interest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can pay those back over up to 30 years, and that s for working capital loans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They have an emergency grant feature that can get you up to $10,000 cash supposedly immediately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ll get into a little bit of that later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can defer payroll taxes until as late as potentially 2022 for your payroll taxes this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You now have the ability, again, to carry back any net operating losses you ve had in 18, 19, or this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I ll get in, so net operating loss, if you re not familiar with that term, I m gonna break that down a little more towards the end of the presentation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then they have these employee retention payroll tax credits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you ve had a drop to your business, but continue to keep your team on, they have payroll tax credits where you can get money back on your payroll taxes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then of course the big one that everyone is interested in and trying to figure out," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "these forgivable loans of up to $10 million that you literally don t have to pay back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like you said, if you handle it correctly, if you spend it on payroll costs, rent or mortgage interest, and utilities in the eight week period after funding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re gonna break down all of those different elements, but specifically wanted to focus on right now first, that big up to $10 million quote free payroll loan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how it works is this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you have two components, a maximum loan amount, and then you have a forgiveness period and a forgiveness amount calculation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how they calculate your maximum loan potential is they take your previous 12 months payroll, benefits, and state and local payroll taxes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Benefits count health insurance plus any employer portion of retirement contributions paid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They take that total amount and divide it into a monthly average." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "then they multiply that monthly average by 2.5." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let s say your total payroll costs were $1.2 million, that makes it an average monthly payroll of $100,000 a month, multiply that by 2.5, you can get a $250,000 loan through this program, the Payroll Protection Planner, PPP for short." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then once they disperse that loan, whatever you pay on payroll," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "your rent or your mortgage interest, and then your utilities in that eight weeks after disbursement is totally forgiven." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like actually forgiven, you don t have to pay it back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The debt forgiveness isn t taxable, which normally if debt is canceled, then you have to pay tax in that amount." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s not the case here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just forgiven free payroll, rent and utilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But there is a major factor in forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that factor is based on the percentage of headcount that you retain" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "compared to the prior period." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the goal here is they want to keep people employed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So kind of that hopefully where life is back to, you know, economy we ll see, but at least day-to-day life is back to normal by three months from now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re wanting to encourage and reward people" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for keeping, or employers for keeping their employees on the staff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s the goal here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what they do is they take your average full-time equivalent, so your full-time headcount, during the period from February 15th to June 30th, and then divide that by what your headcount was in either the first two months of the year, or the same period last year, February 15th of 2019," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to June 30th of 2019." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they let you take the more favorable number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then whatever that percentage is, is the amount of those qualifying expenses that you get to deduct." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if your qualifying expenses is a million dollars, let s say, and your headcount in the current period is 80 team members, and the prior period was 100 team members, that s 80%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So 80% of that million dollars that you shell out is what is totally is forgiven." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If it ends up that you kept all 100 employees, then all of that would be forgiven." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if your headcount drops more than 25%, then you lose all forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So in that case, in that example, if you went from 100 team members down to 60, even though you paid a million dollars out during that eight week period, the full loan would still have to be paid back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s really essential that you run those headcount calculations and you keep enough people to make sure that your loan is gonna be in that forgivable range." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then they recently just had some new guidance as this is changing all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So now the lenders are actively working on these loans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They finally said the business owner must come up with these loan calculations themselves, which most business owners aren t trained in navigating Excel spreadsheets and full-time equivalent calculations, at least not a lot of the ones that I ve met with and worked with throughout my career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s still essential that you run these calculations correctly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Otherwise, you might not get the maximum loan amount that you re eligible for because you did the payroll calculations and ran the payroll reports wrong, or even" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "more important, let s say you planned on having all that forgiven, and you didn t plan out your expense timing correctly, or you laid off too many people during the forgiveness period." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then all of a sudden, you re stuck paying it back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you went into massive debt to keep your team on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Either of those scenarios are not good scenarios." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a couple other key planning items is that generally speaking, so we ve run these numbers across many of our clients that have come to us and said, hey, I m looking at laying, needing to lay these people off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not open, we can t operate, I need to lay some team members off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they ve given us different rounds of scenarios or what would happen if we kept everyone but got this loan?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So across pretty much every scenario we saw, the numbers worked in favor of keeping your entire team when compared to laying off everyone right now and not taking the loan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you re looking at getting the loan and laying off 20% of your team, the numbers still worked in favor of keeping your entire team from a strictly financial standpoint." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, if there s people that you re looking for an opportunity to let go of, anyways, that s a culture decision, not a numbers decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in general, the numbers work out in favor of keeping your entire team." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then another common question that has come up is, if I have $50,000 of payroll and my lease is $100,000, can I get this loan?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now I ve got free rent for a couple months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They came out and said, no, you can t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone s going to be applying for these loans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we want to make sure the goal of this is to keep" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Keep people across the country employed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at least 75% of your total expenses within this forgiveness period must be paid on payroll, used for payroll expenses, not rent or utilities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s a key factor in there when you re planning out your calculations on the forgiveness period of the loan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So additionally, the loan forgiveness period applies for the eight weeks during the covered period." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that covered period ends June 30th, which means if you get your loan dispersed after May 5th, it s possible that you won t enjoy that full eight weeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll only have six weeks worth of payroll or four weeks or five weeks, depending on when that loan is funded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s important when you re doing your planning that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that you get it in as early as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I have a feeling, because there s some talks, and I ll show you on the next slide, that there s more stimulus coming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So my hunch is that they re going to extend this covered period so that it s a full eight weeks, no matter when you get the loans first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s what it is right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So everybody listening understands at the most simple level, the government s done something actually intelligent here, which is if everybody who owns a business and your biggest expenses for most people are obviously those you employ and your physical facilities, if everybody there who s trying to survive has to let go of their people, then unemployment, which is already taking a gigantic hit, but take an even greater one," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then people are not productive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so rather than doing that, they re trying to incentivize you and I and all business owners to say, what can we do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, let s provide them a 90-day period for them to get through this time, basically, where we re going to give them eight weeks, two months of coverage of the incomes for the majority of their people under $100,000." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re going to then have them have to carry a month." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So think of it as they re going to pay for two months of your fundamental overhead of people and of, you know, the 25% towards facilities and utilities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re going to carry a month and that ll get you through to about July 1 if they don t add more to it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now there s discussion today in Congress about increasing those numbers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see where they show up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re already in the system," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s going to be easier to tap into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it allows you to say, okay, instead of letting my people go, let s see where the world is in three months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me see if I can keep them all because right now I can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re trying to give you significant incentives to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope the majority of you will tap into this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The secret, though, is you want to get to the front of the line as quick as you can to get this done and get the right numbers done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can do that on your own or you can come back to Tyler." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Tyler s got some additional benefits to show you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I just wanna give you the big picture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of a 90 day plan to get to some sunlight and where you don t have to be bleeding the entire time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what the government s doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ve already, we work with Tyler in this case, and we got approved yesterday to give you an idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ve been able to do it rapidly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now all banks are equal in this area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some banks are saying we re taking applications, but we re deciding, especially some of the big banks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want to get some advice on banks that are working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So City National, I know, for example, has been moving rapidly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we went with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you ll have to do your homework." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if you work with Tyler, he can tell you some of the banks that he s working with as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please continue, Tyler." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to give him the big picture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I appreciate you doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Definitely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hopping in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And on the bank, I would first go to the bank you have a relationship with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you have a lending relationship with a bank already, that s the place you want to start because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The banks right now, from everyone I ve talked to who s really focused on in the lending space on this, the banks aren t figured out how they re going to make money on this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re worried that they re not going to get reimbursed from the SBA." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re really focusing on their current clients first, and especially the bigger banks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the other piece is a lot of community banks are doing their best to use this as a way to grab market share." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the community banks are more open to taking in new clients to focus on this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would start with, if you have a pre-existing lender that you re working with, talk to them, and then community banks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I ve got a few relationships as well that are working on putting these to the top of the pile." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As is highlighted by the things that Tony mentioned and these banking relationships, it s essential to move fast because every business out there under the sun is wanting to apply for these right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s crushing the lending system." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just an overwhelming influx." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to also clarify one thing, because I ve seen a few people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m reading some of the chat going on as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some of the people are saying, well, how long is the forgiveness?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me be clear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The government s trying to get you to keep people for 90 days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you keep them through June 31st, and then you have to let them go, you will still have forgiveness for the money that you borrowed that relates to that time period." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not that you have to keep them for the full year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The government knows you re going to need more money to keep those people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably going to provide more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know for sure, but they re talking about it as we speak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what it allows you to do is see, what s the world like?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How s my business responding?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are my clients responding?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As we go back to work and things start to begin to normalize, that s what they re trying to get you to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at the end, if you re going to cut people and they re the wrong people, you probably want to let them go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if there are people that are good but not great, or people that are good, you don t want to let them go, but the economics require it, this is kind of giving you a bridge to July 1st." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, there may be an additional bridge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who knows?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have to do something afterwards, you will still get forgiveness for the entire loan as long as you do it within the formula that Tyler is showing you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Got it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, they re looking for the window, the forgiveness window up to June 30th is what your headcount is based off of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have the PPP loan, which is the up to $10 million loan, and that s strictly calculated based on your actual payroll costs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the other loan program, the massive loan program that s out there is the disaster loans, the EIDL loans, Economic Injury Disaster Loan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So these are up to $2 million of a loan, and you can use those funds for all business operations except growth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can t take out a $400,000 loan and go spend it on Facebook ads, for example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or any other sort of marketing or growth options." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you do have to pay this loan back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no forgiveness on these SBA disaster loans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But for a working capital loan through the SBA, it s pretty cheap money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s at 3.75%, and it s paid back over up to 30 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they ll actually roll in existing SBA loans that you ve had before March 31st and pay the principal interest and fees on all of that for the next six months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a deferral of up to six and as much as 18 months, depending on how all of this shakes out for these SBA disaster loans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now with these, you do have to submit evidence of damage with your company" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "from COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you re putting the package together, this is why it s important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They say it s DIY, you know, do it yourself, but so many people are going to do it themselves and not actually qualify because it really, it is a loan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re looking at your debt and your debt ratios on your personal side and your business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you, and then also how have you been impacted by COVID-19?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re going to have to put together" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a letter explaining how you ve been damaged by this entire pandemic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tyler, can you compare that to the $10 million loan?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because some people I m reading are wondering what their credit s like, how much of the government is guaranteeing on that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you just clarify that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Isn t it a 1% loan on the 10 million?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s 1%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s paid back up to two years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, and it was a half a percent and then they bumped it up to 1%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, uh, it s paid back over two years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re, they re relaxing the credit requirements." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I wanted you to get across to people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So normally for an SBA loan, you have to have a 680 credit score is what my main lender contact has told me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ve, they ve lowered that significantly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know the exact credit score, but I would, but I know it s, it s much lower maybe in the high fives to low sixes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, and then you don t have, it s not a collateralized loan, so you don t have to put up any sort of collateral and assets against that, that payroll loan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The government is the one that s guaranteeing it, guys, so you understand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not like a typical loan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some of you that may have been struggling, you could still potentially qualify for this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should really get your application in and see where it is because it s not going to be based on you giving assets and it s going to be a lot less lower based on your credit than it has in the past since the government s guaranteeing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want people to know that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s 1%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Besides the forgiveness, if you handle it properly, it s 1% that s what you re being charged." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, you know, inflation is more than that, obviously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s the equivalent of free money, because the government wants you to keep these people employed during this time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, again, if you get in the system, your chances if they didn t make some addition to the system, you re already in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I want to push all of you do this rapidly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s why we slam this together as quickly as we could to make sure you were all exposed to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please continue to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, and, and, uh, so, so that s the SBA disaster loan and they re, they re lowering the, even though this is a working capital loan, the disaster loans also have lowered, lowered, lowered credit requirements and collateral requirements too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re just, the big goal is to get business owners capital to, so that they can continue to keep the lights on and keep their, their people employed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are the loans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now there s, it s a $2.2 trillion bill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We showed the difference in days on million billion versus trillion earlier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there s a lot more than just loans that s being covered with this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So some of the other elements, one of the pieces is a new sick leave requirement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if someone is sick with COVID-19, now this isn t just you have a sniffle, but you are sick with COVID-19," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or you re caring for a relative who is, or you re a parent whose kids are out of school and you have no other childcare options, the employer must pay them for up to 80 hours of leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now those requirements are different if it s self-care, so you re leaving because you re sick, or you re leaving to take care of a family member." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re leaving for self-care because you have COVID-19 yourself," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then the employer must provide full wage replacement up to $511 per day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that s, so that s 80 hours is basically two weeks or 10 days of pay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s a max of 500." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "$5,110." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that doesn t mean everyone who gets sick with COVID-19 and goes home automatically gets $511." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just whatever their current wage is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just want to make that clear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As business owners, if your team members are thinking suddenly they get a free vacation because they re saying they re sick with COVID-19, it doesn t mean they re automatically going to get all this free money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you re leaving to care for a family member or their child s school is closed, then the employer must provide two thirds of their wage replacement up to $200 a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s a big difference between the between if you re sick yourself versus having to leave to care for someone else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other thing is that you will get reimbursed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in the form of a payroll tax credit for 100% of this sick leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where the big issue is, is the cash flow on that, because you have to pay your team members now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the federal government is working to get rapid payroll tax credits to people so that they don t have business interruptions on the cash outlay of people leaving because they re sick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then if you have less than 50 employees, and you can prove that it s going to jeopardize you staying in business," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "if you pay your employees who are out sick with COVID, then you re exempt from this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is really for the larger employers that have people who are leaving on sick leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just want to reinforce, for those of you who have 50 or more people, there are some individuals that have heard things online or read things, heard things on the news, and think they can get $511 a day not working by saying they re sick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be COVID-19, and it s a percentage of your income with a maximum of $511 a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for that period of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re taking care of someone else, it s $200 a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you are an employer like that, you will be reimbursed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the money will come back to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some people are under a false assumption about how this works." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not how it works." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ll want to make sure your HR department or somebody you re working with gets the data to them so that your employees are clear what s true, because otherwise they re going to be disappointed or frustrated or mad because they re misinformed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then speaking of payroll taxes," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you can defer up to 100% of your payroll taxes until late 2021 or early 2022, which is a significant amount of time that you can defer the employer portion and all of your payroll taxes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that actually encounters the employee portion too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that can, payroll taxes typically are somewhere between 15 and 18% of your wages." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you can" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Defer that if you re in a cash crunch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, if you don t need the cash crunch, I would maybe really consider whether you want to defer those or not, because essentially that s just building up debt to the federal government." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that is a way to help you in a cash crunch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they have another refundable payroll tax credit of 50% of the payroll taxes on up to $10,000 of wages per employee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a lot of random numbers kind of thrown out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What the math works out to is you get up to $155 per employee as a payroll tax credit, which isn t a huge amount, but it s better than nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And with that, to qualify for that refundable payroll tax credit, number one, you must show that you ve had at least a 50% reduction in sales compared to the prior year in the same period." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then if you take out the payroll forgiveness loan, the PPP loan, you re not eligible for this refundable payroll tax credit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s a decision to weigh when you re looking at those two options as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can also" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I hesitated to even mention this almost, but you can withdraw up to $100,000 penalty free from your retirement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is one you want to be very careful with, especially if you go and read Unshakeable, because you don t want to steal from your financial future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that $100,000 is penalty free, but it s not tax free." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re in a 25% federal and let s say a 6% state bracket, you re still going to pay 31% on that money when you pull it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re just not going to pay 41% on that money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I would encourage using this as a very last ditch option if you really, really can t meet ends meet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s just something that is an element of the bill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they have a $10,000 emergency advance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that at first when they rolled it out was it was part of the disaster loan application." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s based on a function of your gross profit, a percentage of your gross profit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were going to get money fast to business owners." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then if it ends up that you qualified for the loan, it was going to get wrapped up into the loan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then if you didn t qualify for the loan, it was going to be considered a grant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They just released new guidance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that it s all grant money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I haven t heard of any of our clients actually getting any of those dollars yet, but they re processing those as fast as they can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when everyone heard $10,000 of free money, it was marketed very well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so everyone" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "crush the SBA website and every business in America plugged in for their free $10,000." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s not going to be everyone gets $10,000, it s up to $10,000 based on a sliding scale on your gross sales and cost of goods sold." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they earmarked, I believe it was a billion dollars for this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So with everyone crushing that, these are mostly sold out at this point as far as getting in line for getting your emergency advance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, because it s sold out, I think you ll see potentially at least an expansion of this program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want to have your numbers ready so you can apply and get to the front of the line as quickly as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, having your numbers ready is essential." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And speaking of numbers ready, Gav, I would go back and look at your last couple of years of tax returns because this next provision is a massive one if you re someone who s had either an early stage business where you ve" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sunk a large amount of investments back into it, or had a couple of trying years where you had some losses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a net operating loss is when you have a business that has a loss, and then if it flows to your personal return, it s also deducted against any other income, and then you still have a negative taxable income." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it used to be until they had this massive tax reform in 2018, any net operating loss that you had, you could then go back up to three years, amend those prior year returns." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you had any tax in those years, it could be a deduction against that tax and you d get cash now from prior years taxes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They eliminated that provision in 2018 and you could only go forward with those losses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, they temporarily brought those back as part of the cares act." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s through the end of the year, you can actually go back up to five years on any losses that you ve had in 2018, 2019, or what you re going to have potentially in 2020." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you have to amend your tax returns to do this, but you can go back up to five years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if you have had, if you had a loss in 2018 or 2019," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if it s 2018, you hopefully should have already filed your return." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can take that tax return and then amend it and apply it back to up to five years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then in 2019, if you haven t filed yet, get filed ASAP so you can show that net operating loss and then carry it back and amend your returns to get cash right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a great, great program for any business owners who are showing those losses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as we ve hammered home a few times, you need to act fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they earmarked $500 billion through this out of the 2.2 trillion for businesses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that sounds like a lot, but there s 32 million businesses in America." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And every one of them, well, not everyone, but a lot, most of them, as you saw, two thirds really, really need help right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so everyone, and even the ones that maybe don t need help are still applying just to see if they can get some free or cheap working capital." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you want to make sure that you ve got your accounting records lined up and you have all required documents, which is your tax returns." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "your financials, so your monthly sales reports that are going to want to see from the previous 12 periods, and then your monthly payroll reports by employee as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you ve got to calculate your full-time equivalents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s essential that you get your accounting records and everything lined up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how we ve been helping our clients in this process over these last couple weeks is through number one, consulting with them on the business impact of how these forgivable loans are going to affect them on taking them versus not, laying people off versus not, and how that s going to impact them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also helping them learn how to pivot and do those Skunk Works tests and see how they can create new business models in this new world that we re going to be living in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "hopefully we ll return back to normal, but just in case, and at least in this immediate period of time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then analyzing all potential payroll tax credits and other planning opportunities to make sure that they re maximizing their tax savings through this $2.2 trillion bill." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then lastly, you ve got to manage your cash flow once this abundance of funds hits, because a lot of businesses are making ends meet" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "weekly, you know, weeks at a time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not used to having three, four, six months of cash in the bank and expenses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And with these disaster loans, now the payroll loan is different because it s just a couple months of expenses, but based on your debt to income ratio, you could suddenly have a year s worth of expenses in the bank and you don t want to spend it all in one place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you want to make sure that you have the systems in place to manage your cashflow" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so that you don t end up taking a loan to save your business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then at the end of the three months or the next four or five months, you end up in a worse place than you were before you took any of this relief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are the main areas we ve been helping our clients." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But of course, our purpose and our mission is to help as many business owners through this process as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But with the incredibly high demand across the country, not only us, but accountants everywhere aren t able to keep up with this on a one-to-one capacity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when we were kind of discussing back and forth with Tony about how we can help the most people in the most businesses so that they can save their team members jobs, we came up with an alternative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that alternative is this, the Business Owner Stimulus Kit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s a 90-day teaching, training, coaching program." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "along with a series of tools and calculators that s going to help you not only maximize the stimulus program, but also put the financial tools in place to make your business position to thrive at the end of this 90-day period as we return back to normal when no other businesses are doing this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we re putting into this kit and this program is the tools, templates, and resources that you can use to," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get your business lean, create a budget, figure out how to pivot, develop new sources of revenue, and generate short-term cash now while you re waiting on that relief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then use our payroll tax credit maximizer tool to help you calculate whether you should use the payroll tax credits or go after the loans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we have the calculators in place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember I mentioned earlier the banks are putting the onus on the business owner to calculate what they think they should be eligible for in these payroll loans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve created templates and calculators that you ll be able to use so that you can navigate this process yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then a financial forecasting roadmap so that now that, okay, we ve got the funds, what are we gonna do into the future so that our business, and this is something you should be doing anyways, winter or not, having a financial plan and a forecast to know where you re going is essential to running a healthy business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we ve put together some industry-specific cash flow models so that we can unleash you, yourselves, on knowing and teaching yourself and walk through the process of knowing where your cash is going to go over these next three to 12 months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And of course, we re going to be in the group, in the Facebook group live doing these weekly live trainings to walk you through how to use all these tools and equip you with the process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have an entire team of experts that have been literally studying this around the clock to figure out what the latest is on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ll be in the group updating you on a regular ongoing basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then a Facebook group, we re going to bring in," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "experts, but also you ll have a community of like-minded business owners going through winter together and sharing what s worked for them, how they ve pivoted and created new revenue models, how they ve had success in getting access to this relief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if we were to help" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "help a business owner one-on-one with each of these items." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It would cost over $21,000 to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But number one, we don t have the capacity to do that because every business owner out there needs help with this right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And number two, a lot of businesses are struggling to come up with the cash." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we wanted to come up with a way that we could help as many businesses as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what this is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re doing that for $497 a month for three months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if this is something you re interested and want help with and would love to have me guide you along this entire process over the next 90 days, love it if you go to stimuluskit.com and get your toolkit, get access to the group, and then I ll be in there along with my team helping guide you all along the way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guys, I want to bring up for you is the purpose of this session was a help you hopefully not get fearful by at least getting some more data, you can keep your same point of view or not asking you to change in your behavior." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just get out of the fear help others do it to think about the fact this opportunity that s right now economically, if you keep your head clear" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there s great investment opportunities and give you the book so you can tap on your own time of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And three, to remind you the kinds of things you ve got to look at to your business and give you what the lay of the land is here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ve gone, as I said earlier, I went to three different legal firms, could not get the results they wanted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the cost there for me was between 10 and $20,000." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I talked to Tyler, he helped a bunch of our clients already, but he s run out of capacity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, there s gotta be a way where you could coach people in a small intimate group" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but still give them the attention they need to get their individual questions answered and go forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so he s offered to do this for three months at 495." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a ridiculous price." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He did it for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m taking no profit from this, obviously whatsoever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making this totally his piece." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really designed for him to be at so much value to you and getting you these loans and helping you get through and design the cashflow and so forth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But hopefully he s done enough for you that you ll decide to become his client longterm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That ll be the real benefit he ll get." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we just want to make sure you re educated, you have the answers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so let s take real quick a few questions and answers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But before we do, just for 60 seconds, let me remind you what I said." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talked about, you know, Humpty Dumpty and I are put together the same way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to know your numbers, call it tight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to be brainstorming and creating some skunk works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s just three examples or four real fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just noticed on this quarantine case, Kevin, this is a bakery up in San Francisco." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can imagine people are freaked out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "California is one of the first states to do a shutdown." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their business is going to go under." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they said, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are going to still want to be delighted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want a cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they create these cakes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re smaller, like for two to four people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they have on the cover, wash your hands." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t touch your face." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All these little quotes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And their business is going crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re doing more business today than before the issue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they adapted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They started to think where people s heads are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s deliver directly to them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They re not going to come to us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s go to another one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Pizza delivery, my goodness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Pizza delivery is exploding because everyone s at home." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They re wanting the food and they re wanting to make sure they get it quickly with a guarantee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So Papa John s is showing that they re adding 20,000 people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The revenues are growing 3% globally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "2.3% in three months for them, just entering 29." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Pizza Hut is adding 30,000 positions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There s a thousand new workers looking for people in the Chicago area stores and so forth for Domino s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So there are people that are doing well, but they re adapting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "In this case, not adapting, they re just needing more people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s go to the next one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "CVS, which many of you know, is hiring 50,000 full-time and part-time people right away." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s how much they need right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And what they re doing, again, they diversified." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They said people are not all going to run back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They need their prescriptions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So now they re doing their own." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They hire their own people, not an outside source, and providing two-day service locally to the people that normally get from their pharmacy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they re watching a huge jump in who they re hiring and what they re growing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Instacart is looking to hire 300,000 people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I want you to know there are businesses that are doing well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think we had one more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Is this steak?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This Dallas butcher." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was real impressed by this man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Here s a normal butcher." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He just sells meats." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No one s supposed to go inside his facility." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "His, you know, March sales are projected to be at 50% more than normal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He took his 1,400-square-foot shop where people were allowed to come in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He set up his parking lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he not only decided to deliver food, people, they drive up and they take out for the food, but now he hired a chef." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So you can have cold steak right to go cook at home or the meals there and to prepare these side dishes that people need." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now he s taking on 1500 more square feet is doubling the size of this business in the middle of the coronavirus and position well to meet customers needs going forward." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I just want you to think about" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is really about getting creative." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s really about anticipating how to meet people s needs in a new way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you re not filled with fear, you can start focusing on solutions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s do a couple of other Q&A about anything we ve talked about, but especially about the loans or anything related to it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s have my moderator take over and tell us who we ve got up there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey guys, Milo and Michelle here, Fort Myers, Florida." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you guys." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your question?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Good to see you too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, one of our questions is, Tyler did a fantastic job of explaining a lot of the stuff, so you pretty much answered it, but I know that it s not on the net payroll, it s what we pay, not what the employee makes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I want to know is, is it also inclusive as that annual bonus?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or if I do quarterly bonuses, so I calculate all potential pay for the rest of this year, divide that by 12 and then multiply that times two and a half." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So they would include bonuses in your previous 12 months in the maximum loan amount calculation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And then whatever you pay in the eight-week period," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "is what s forgiven." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Now they do cap it at $100,000 of wages annualized per employee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So if you take eight weeks divided by 52, the cap is $15,384 is what you can pay each employee in payroll costs during that period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So when you re factoring your bonus during the forgiveness period, as long as it doesn t go above that threshold, then you re okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "But the other piece that you want to look at during that threshold is retirement payments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So retirement contributions made paid by the employer count as payroll costs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And so you can actually make you, if you normally pay 3% match during the year and you do that in December at the end of the year, maybe you can do a forecast and what you think you re going to pay on that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And then you can match that during the eight week period and get that portion forgiven instead of waiting till December." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And so that s one way that you can maximize that forgiveness period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think bonuses, retirement, any of those things, you want to pay during that eight-week period, and then you re going to be benefiting your client, meaning your internal employee, but you ll also be able to be reimbursed, right, because it ll be part of the forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So that s the perfect time to load that up, and it s appropriate and legal and playing by the rules to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, excellent, excellent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you for your question, great question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s go for another one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One more we have and that is on the paperwork, it only allows you, at least where we went to our bank, allows you to add up the payroll, but when do you show all your other overhead, all the other contributions?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Oh yeah, good question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So the two components are the max loan amount and then the forgiveness period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So they don t use the rent and utilities and other components in the maximum loan amount." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "It s only a factor of the payroll." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "That s why they do it to a 2.5 month factor." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And then the forgiveness is within eight weeks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So you get a little bit of buffer there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So where the rent and utilities comes into play is in that forgiveness calculation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Now, every bank requests different information." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Some banks want all that up front." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "They want your rent and utilities while you re providing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Others, sounds like they re just wanting the payroll so they can figure out what the loan is, let s disperse the loan, and then figure out the forgiveness period on the back end." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And so that s where probably the difference is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Your bank is just asking for the maximum loan amount would be my guess." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you, Tyler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Next question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey, Tony." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey, Tyler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you very much for that great information." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My question to you is, does my business need to have dropped significantly in order to take the PPP program?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "That is an excellent question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And so the disaster loan, yes, you need to show damages." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "What they re asking for the criteria on the payroll protection loan is you need to certify that due to current economic uncertainty," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "you need this loan in order to continue operations." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Well, that s a very vague, broad term, and everyone s uncertain and has no clue what s gonna happen over the next six to nine months." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So to me, I feel comfortable, even though business might be doing good right now in your business, depending on if you re making quarantine cakes, but who knows when that s gonna drop off and suddenly no one has any spending money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So I feel comfortable certifying that due to current economic uncertainty," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "I need that money to make sure that I continue to pay my people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Otherwise, I m going to make a lot leaner hiring decisions and retention decisions than if I didn t have that payroll." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So that s how I would approach that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, the answer to the question, so to be crystal clear is no, you don t have to experience that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you re concerned, that s all that matters." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you have a reason for concern, you don t have to explain the reason for concern." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We all have it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You don t have to worry about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s not part of the criteria for qualifying for the loan." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They re willing to keep, they re wanting to get all of us employers to keep people out of unemployment, ideally for another 90 days while hopefully the economy goes back to work and hopefully people start to operate in a normal way so we can limit the number of people in unemployment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s the whole basis of this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So they re pushing to get the money out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, working with the right bank to speed it up, getting your application in immediately are the critical components here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So you guys can do it on your own or somebody like Tyler can help you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Yeah, thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "How are you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Good to see you Jeffrey." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "You too, you too, you guys." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Hey, thanks for all this information." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Tony, thank you for setting us up for this winter and being in a position to help and to do other things for our employees and those around us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So thank you so much for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re welcome." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Um, quick question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Now I ve, I ve, uh, and I think you kind of answered a little bit of this Tyler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Um, you know, I went to my kind of regional, uh, bank and they were very efficient, very quick, but what are the other banks that people could go to that are, that you re finding an efficiency in terms of getting it through the process?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So, so yeah, good move going to the Ben, the bank that you had a relationship with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "if you re, but I ve had clients I ve been on the phone with in the last couple of days that say, Hey, my bank s not doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "What, uh, where do, where do I go?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So I would say, look for someone who easy is either an SBA express lender, cause they re kind of being able to have a little bit more leeway to put things through faster, uh, or go to your community, try your community bank because, uh, they re there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "Number one, they have a lot fewer to process." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "I saw one," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "One major bank I think was Wells Fargo already had, they had 10 billion allocated for this, and they were at 97% of that in applications already just in the first week of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "So these community banks have a little more flexibility just because they don t have as broad of a business client base." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "And so look for an SBA Express lender who can help you with it, or a community bank is what I would say with that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Thank you so much for it all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s do a few questions just off the Q&A side, just to speed it up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Let s take three or four of them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Here, can I have my moderator, Poppy, and offer a few to us?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, Tony and Tyler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you guys?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This question comes from Justin Benton and many others." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The question is, are 1099 employee payments included in payroll costs?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_05", "text": "That has been a back and forth, back and forth on was the law written for it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it not?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m fortunate that just yesterday, the Department of Treasury released a brand new FAQs on their website that says that 1099s are not included in payroll costs." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re not included either in the maximum loan amount or the forgiveness period." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyone who s an independent contractor would not be eligible in that payroll cost." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, they can go apply for this loan themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is for keeping your employees on staff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then any vendors that you work really closely with, I would, you know, send them this information and encourage them to apply, uh, especially as they add more, more money on the backend of this, because the way that they calculate it for a 1099 independent contractor, it s not like, even if you don t have payroll, you can still apply for this as a 1099." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they calculate it based on your 2019 net income on your tax return." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason why is because the way that," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "self-employment tax and social security works is if you re a 1099 sole proprietor, you re paying social security on the net income of your business." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they re counting that as part of wages for the purposes of this PPP loan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So no, it doesn t count if you re paying 1099s, but those vendors, if you want to help them stay afloat," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "send them this information so that they know that they can access this capital too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they haven t been clear on how they re going to calculate the forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a feeling what they ll do is they ll ask for accounting records and bank statements to see what your net income was during that eight week period, if you re a truly a sole independent contractor, and then they ll forgive whatever that income is during that period." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s been a big contention." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now we finally got some clarity from the treasury department." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Couple more questions, we ll do a finish up in five minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This question comes from Dina Moench and many others." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What programs are best for the sole proprietor?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so that element of the PPP, depending on your net income, it s gonna be not a huge loan amount, just because it s two and a half months of your net income capped at 100,000." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s basically one employee s maximum." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would really look at on those," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is going for that disaster loan because you can get a income to debt service coverage ratio of 1.25, basically meaning your debt payments can be up to 80% of your net operating income." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can get a pretty, and with that payment on 3.75% interest over 30 years, you can get a pretty sizable amount of capital using, with that disaster loan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that is where I would go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I would make sure you re looking at the payroll tax credits, any net operating loss elements you had, and really doing proper tax planning to make sure that you minimize your taxes this year and try to access the other elements of it as well, of the bill as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Couple more." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This question comes from Michael Gabor." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if you are a new business and revenue has not ramped up yet?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that is a tough one." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re a brand new business, meaning you went into opening on March 5th, I haven t really seen a lot of guidance on that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What they re looking for if you ve been in business for less than a year," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they are taking your numbers based on January and February." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they don t need a full 12 months." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re getting a little bit of break there on the January and February, but I don t know is how they re going to calculate the FTE equivalent." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they ll just use that period." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, so, so that, that s how they re calculating the payroll." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the same thing on the disaster loan, they re looking at not your annual net income, but just those last couple of months of net income." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s what they re trying to do for these businesses who, well, like the coffee shop client that I shared earlier, had just bought a second location at the end of January and then had to shut it down." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was terrible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But so that s what they re trying to do with getting capital to those types of businesses." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two more questions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This question comes from Steve Kerekes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Do actual payroll costs include just the salary or all of the taxes businesses have to pay as well?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So payroll taxes are not included." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s the salary, but it is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess to clarify that question is income tax withholdings don t impact the loan amount." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if, if someone s wage is 5,000 and their net check is 3000, the loan amount is in on the 3000." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s on the 5,000, but the payroll taxes aren t, aren t included in the, in the payroll calculation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just gross wages for the employee." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And somebody s asking, I think you ve answered it this way, but they re saying, so owners, you know, small owners with K-1s can apply for themselves, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they can apply for themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is still going to be based on their officer salary for the calculation and then what they pay, but you can pay yourself as an owner through this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re wanting to keep social security funded basically is one of the other goals here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when you pay yourself as an S corporation through W-2, that counts as wages during the forgiveness period and the loan maximization." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One more question." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This question comes from Jeff Muse and many others." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Are there any incentives for landlords that own properties and have tenants not paying rent?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so this is part of the program." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ve been affected." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s part of the disaster." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to get you capital." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to look at your payroll." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is considered a business." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These landlords that are struggling, it is considered a business, and they re definitely" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "putting those right up at the top of the pile because, and that s part of why the rent is included in the forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re wanting to keep landlords afloat too because that could dramatically destroy the economy if suddenly everyone who held real estate isn t collecting rent." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why they re encouraging this on the forgiveness period." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they re just looking at that, they re considering you a business if you re a landlord on the disaster loan piece." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I hope that s answered some of your questions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, our whole goal today is really simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just trying to support you as business owners." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re in the same boat, all of us together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to take care of our people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to grow our business." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to get back to where we are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you do it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get out of fear." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Educate yourself in that area." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make decisions in there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Apply whatever the government s telling you to apply." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course, live by those rules." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But don t let fear be the dominant force." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Two, look around and see if there s opportunity to invest." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even if you re tight, this might be a place to do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "if you do if you ve been educating yourself or you give me a access if you want to pick up unshakable for no cost to you just shipping and handling or you can go pick it up at" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and pay full price at the bookstore or at Amazon, wherever you want." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I just want to give you solutions that we can never do in a short period of time here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the purpose primarily here, or repost here, has been what is available and how do you take advantage of it to get you through the next 90 days, perhaps, to where the light might be, and then simultaneously be in the system at the top of the system as soon as you can." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if we do expand it, you can take advantage of that already." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your numbers are in place with the bank and so forth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so hopefully you ve got somebody who can do that for you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If not, I highly recommend Tyler." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m taking no income from this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is not a play on my part." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I asked him to figure a way since he couldn t do enough of all of you individually, they could do for you collectively, but still give you the personal attention." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So his 90 day plan to give you all the resources you need and coach you and show you how to get through it is $4.95 a month for three months." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I hope you found this to be valuable today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tyler, thank you for taking the time with everybody." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And let s start Tyler s contact info one last time, too, for people who might want to work with him." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And say to all of you, stay strong, live with passion, and God bless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll see you soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re interested in expert tools and turnkey advice to ensure your business gets the most benefits available, check out Tony and Tyler s Business Owner Stimulus Kit at www.rescuesmallbusiness.com." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This 90-day interactive program will help simplify and expedite your path to completing the government loan application process and also show you how to redesign your financial plan" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Pivot your revenue streams and manage your ongoing cash." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s www.rescuesmallbusiness.com." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Special thanks to Tyler McBroom of Measured Results." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_05\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you ever wanted to chat with Tony Robbins directly?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now you can, and it s as easy as texting him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right, Tony is part of Community, a new platform that allows you to communicate with him one-on-one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All you need to do is send him a text at 561-423-1444." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s 561-423-1444." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Be sure to let him know what you think about this episode and all of the other life-changing content he s making available to you at www.tonyrahmans.com slash resources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to part two of a special edition podcast on coronavirus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this episode, Tony, along with his friend, Dr. Peter Diamandis, the Harvard Medical School trained MD and executive founder of Singularity University, explore the present and future of COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you haven t heard part one of this special series, be sure to give it a listen as Dr. Bob Hariri joins the conversation to provide additional context and clarification of COVID-19 numbers that we re seeing around the clock in the news." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this episode, part two, Tony and Peter speak with Mei-Mei Hu and Lou Ries, co-CEOs of United Biomedical, a company that s now offering an affordable and accurate diagnostic test for COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their antibody test is different from others, as it can detect not only if you currently have the virus, but it also signals if you ve ever had the virus, which is crucial in determining the true rate of mortality associated with COVID-19, and whether people are immune and therefore able to stop isolating and go back to work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lou and Maymay s team at COVAX is also working on a breakthrough alternative option to a traditional vaccine for coronavirus, and you ll hear them discuss it in the last half of this episode." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This episode was recorded on Thursday, April 9th." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey everyone, it s Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen, this is part of our program on understanding what s happening with COVID-19, with coronavirus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The whole purpose of this program is to bring you some of the greatest experts in the world to share with you what s really going on versus maybe the hype or the fear that s out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And most importantly, to talk to you about how we can get our handle around this, get people back to work, and what are the solutions short-term and perhaps long-term in terms of vaccines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In today s program, we re going to do it together along with my dear friend, Peter Diamandis, my partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Peter, how are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I m doing great, Betty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I m doing well and excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "In part one of this program, we had another dear friend, Dr. Bob Haruri, who s the CEO Chairman of Cellularity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And if you haven t seen part one of this program, I encourage you to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s extraordinarily rich." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "The first part talking about how the numbers are proving this pandemic to be perhaps nowhere near as bad as it was, where the mortality rates are not three, four or five percent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And they may be, in some case, the consideration of a bad flu." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We ll find that out over the days ahead." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But in addition, Tony and I double clicked with Bob about how" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "we can augment our immunity, how natural killer cells and stem cells derived from the placenta may be an incredible tool, not only for the COVID-19 pandemic, but for future ones to come." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So check that out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s one of hope and optimism." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And the second half of this program right now is for the other parts of what we should be thinking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How do we diagnose this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And once it s diagnosed, how do we get vaccines in place and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We ve got two incredible co-CEOs, co-founders of a company called Unite Biomedical and COVAX." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Lou Reese and Mei-Mei Hu are the co-founders and co-CEOs of United Neuroscience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "As you ll hear, it s a 30-year-old company, one of the leading companies on the planet, both in diagnostics and vaccines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And of a new company, I m proud to be a board member, full disclosure of, called COVAX, which has taken all of the assets from United Biomedical that are around the coronavirus and put it into this U.S.-based company." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Mei-Mei, a Harvard Law Graduate, Lou, a many times over entrepreneur and one of the top thinkers that I know in disruptive thinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "They have become dear friends and they re on a mission." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And Tony, this is a mission that you and I love, which is how do you demonetize and democratize these treatments?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So we don t have, these things are available to everyone around the world, not at thousands of dollars or hundreds of dollars, but potentially, you know, single digit dollars to treat people and protect people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that sounds like huge claims, but maybe what we could start with, Maymay, is tell us a little bit about, you know, United Biomedical and your 30-year history and the volume in which you guys have produced vaccines and the impact that it s had so that people know this is not some quick little startup with some people who have pie in the sky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You guys have produced pretty amazing results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you give us a little history?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, sure, Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So United Biomedical is probably one of the oldest biotech companies that you ve never heard of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been around for over 30 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been privately held, and we re still privately held." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we got our start, actually, in diagnostics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So our chief scientific officer and founder, Chang Yi, actually developed and commercialized the first ever peptide-based diagnostic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was for HIV, HCV," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s created a number since." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we developed and manufactured and then distributed through worldwide partners for the last over 20 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not new to us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then these have sold tens of millions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve been sold to governments to help clean their blood banks, their blood supplies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s something that we have good experience in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in fact, a large part of our company is actually in Taiwan and China." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were one of the first people to respond to the SARS epidemic almost 20 years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was that kind of experience that gave us a head start when COVID-19 came down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when we saw it again, we knew that we could do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we decided to jump in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In terms of the vaccine platform," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also developed the first ever fully synthetic peptide vaccine, and it s been commercialized against an infectious disease in animals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we now vaccinate about 25% of the world s pigs, which is about 500 million doses a year, or now almost 5 billion doses sold worldwide." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we know how to scale up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very accessible platform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we basically put those tools and are now turning it to COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So Lou, maybe you can share with us, what s the strategy that s different around the testing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We all know to get back to work, one of the biggest challenges with the swab test or the PCR test, I guess it is, is this idea that you re swabbing and you re only discovering whether or not the virus is in you right now versus an antibody test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "where we can see whether you ve been exposed and whether you ve built antibodies that could actually say that you can go back out in the world because your immune system can handle it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell us the differences in the test, the differences in the accuracy, and there s a couple antibody tests that have been mentioned recently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some have been said the government s not supporting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I understand you guys got FDA approval." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Give us a sense of the difference in the test and what you re trying to accomplish first with the testing as a whole." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, so the idea here is that if you can actually find out if people have durable antibodies, they can safely go back to work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if you can find out how many people are exposed, you can find out the true rate of morbidity and mortality associated with COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So our test is an IgG specific, and I don t mean to get in the weeds, IgG specific antibody test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And the difference between ours and the other ones to be simple and direct about it is accuracy, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So when you go after both IgM and IgG antibodies, you might be able to detect a couple days earlier, but you re loaded with false positives because you detect people that have any other type of coronavirus or certain rhinoviruses, autoimmune disorders, anything like that can flare up the test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s why you see these very large number of false positives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So what we need is we need information that s highly specific and accurate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and therefore actionable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s what we do with our test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What makes the PCR test so weak?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Explain to us why that test is inferior to an antibody test, just so that the layman can understand the importance of this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I think, Tony, you said it really well a minute ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You cannot have the antibody test and see if you ve been exposed in the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can only see if you re actively carrying the virus right then." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s detecting viral DNA, like the actual virus in your nose or in your throat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, and so that s, it s a very, it s a very different type of test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So, so you never, it wouldn t be able to tell you if you, if you have immunity and you can get back to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, I was going to say, first of all, important to note that, you know, there is a version of a coronavirus that is causing the COVID-19 pandemic, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The coronavirus has been around for a long time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the virus that causes the common cold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s the particular variation" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "of this SARS-CoV-2 that is causing this pandemic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so you can t confuse the two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Maymay, you re in the labs right now of COVAX." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Again, COVAX is the company that was spun out of United Biomedical." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It holds all of the assets in both the testing and the vaccines." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Can you go a little bit into the science of what the diagnostics, what is an antibody test, a little bit more detail, versus a PCR?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think Lou did a nice job where, you know, PCRs, there s a good use for them, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of the day, you know, when we re fighting in this, you need lots of tools in the toolbox." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the PCR has its own benefits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can detect, you know, who has an active infection in that moment and who needs medical treatment immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and who needs to be quarantined." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What an antibody test does is it actually, whenever your body is exposed to a virus, it starts fighting it off and it generates antibodies against it to neutralize it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what our antibody test does is actually just detects those antibodies against SARS-CoV-2." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a couple different types of antibodies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is the first wave called IgM." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s a second wave called IgG, which are these longer lasting antibodies that last for months and months after you re initially exposed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are the ones where if you re re-exposed, they help quell the virus so that it s either milder or you don t even feel it, hence immunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what our test is, is you ll see and probably read about lots of antibody tests on the market." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are kind of a couple different types." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One are these rapid tests." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look like home pregnancy tests kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you pop the little prick of blood in them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, they have their use too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably convenient." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They seem convenient." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They could be used at point of care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like Lou said, these are less accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as a result, you know, they re less useful for really studying the disease on a mass scale." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "How much, how much less accurate, what are the numbers being discussed out there with the false positives and false negative rates?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when you look at the sensitivity and specificity, it s usually between 80 and 90%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, and it doesn t seem like much, but when you re testing millions and millions of people, that s a lot of numbers of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh, and so when you actually do a seroprevalence study, you know, if you had, let s say you can essentially with that type of disparity, you can be off by a factor of three, which," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some ways, if you re making public health decisions, it s difficult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other thing with those tests is they re difficult to deploy and centralize." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times, because of the accuracy and that difficulty, they actually have to be confirmed with lab tests." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So our test is a very basic ELISA test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s old technology, but very cool reagents." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what makes us kind of different is the type of reagents we use to make it more accurate and specific." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we can absolutely differentiate between" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, SARS-CoV-2, COVID-19, and other naturally circulating coronaviruses in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re also very high throughput." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have this plate here, but it s basically like a simple 96-well plate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So each one is like a specimen, and these can be put into a machine and automatically run." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re talking about, you know, 96 tests in about two to three hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, sorry, I was just going to say that there s machines that can run eight or 10 of those at a time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that means in a two hour period of time, you re running through literally thousands of the individual tests." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Eliza is a platform that already exists around the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it makes them deployable in a faster, greater tempo, correct?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we have the capacity to run millions and millions of tests worldwide a day based on the labs that already have basic ELISA capabilities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a very high throughput, highly scalable test and, you know, it should be used for mass screening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s the price point that COVAX is going to be providing these tests to folks for?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, it s definitely cheaper than the PCR and other rapid tests, depending on scales between, you know, $5 and $21." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, you re doing these tests, I know, and you both live in Telluride." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Obviously, your facility is in New Jersey, the medical facilities and so forth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you decided to do a test that was going to be open to the community there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of the challenge, Robin, with these numbers, you know, the original numbers coming out of Wuhan were three and a half, four and a half percent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people are projecting 5%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, we closed the entire world based upon this understanding of a pandemic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was not just that it was spreading rapidly, but what was really happening was we thought people were dying in mass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now you see it on the news." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You watch the news every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You think it was, you know, the end of the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When in reality, you know, there are 650,000 people that die of the flu every year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as you probably know, they no longer require since February that you actually even do a test to say they died of COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So some of it is just speculation, whereas earlier they were much more rigid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You guys want to find a test because as we test more people and you find more people who have the virus, but there s no symptoms whatsoever or mild symptoms, it changes the morbidity level, which changes whether or not we should be shutting down the whole world or economy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You wanted to show that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What have you learned so far?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know I think you re halfway through the test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re about a week through it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what the test is about, what you re trying to find out, what you know so far, and what you hope to know in about a week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is the first time in, as far as we know, in the history of the world where there s been an antibody test offered to every resident in the county." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the results and the outpouring of support from the community have really been overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we ended up with north of 70% of people participating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the idea is that by testing at the beginning, just like you said, you find out how prevalent it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you find out if there are maybe more people that were asymptomatic than you expected, and that should have a huge ability to reduce fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s a very optimistic time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The next thing that you get is two weeks later, which is now about, you do another round of testing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That next round of testing will show if someone went from negative to positive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s called seroconverting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It means that they develop the antibodies during that interim period." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s extremely valuable information because it shows what the rate of spread was and if it s been contained through the stay-at-home order." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And also, it allows us to then take those people that did seroconvert, do a PCR swab, find out if they re actively infectious and isolate them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the whole town can basically get back to its new normal because you ve really cleaned the population of the town and found out who has immunity and who hasn t been exposed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s interesting, though, is there s some material that came out to a great deal of analysis about those cities and states that did the shutdowns faster, which should have protected them more, versus later on, and then places where they ve done none of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when you say, seeing if the social isolation worked, we don t know what works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The body itself could be doing this, the body on its own, regardless of isolation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Isn t that true?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I mean, I think this is the only way we ll know is if we, with the testing, you know, and I think it s really important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that s why what the work is so important and the antibody tests are so important is because you get real actionable data to fill in those gaps." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think that with that, you know, the leaders of our country and these communities can make informed decisions and the companies can make informed decisions about getting back to work and kind of getting rid of the fear and getting back to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot of in the media discussion of young people could be carrying the virus and they could then infect other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we ve seen all of these distancing elements, especially for the elderly based upon this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet I ve talked to other virologists and they re saying, listen, if your body actually has the virus and your body builds antibodies and defeats it, it does not pass it on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a part of the law of urology." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m confused because I m hearing some doctors on television talking about one aspect and others talking about another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Doesn t your test, won t it show that if you ve built the antibodies then that you re in a position where you re not going to be a person that s going to pass it on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So once you have these IgG antibodies, based on the studies that have been done thus far with the virus, you are in the clear, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You should get a cookie." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like you made it through and everything s great and it s time to move along." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think the people that, just to be safe," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "the double testing, the people that convert during that interim, I think that checking their family with the PCR and social isolation for that group that could be currently infectious is important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But the idea is, you know, the 14 day period is sufficient that you re no longer actively infectious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re not actively infectious and you ve built the antibodies, you re no risk to anyone else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that correct?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think there are a couple things that we re doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what you said is absolutely right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So basically, if you ve developed antibodies, I mean, what we re trying to do is separate into three different groups very quickly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is, hey, you ve been exposed to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re no longer infectious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have antibodies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get back to work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good for you, like Lou said, you deserve a sticker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then there s a second group, which is going to be the folks that don t have any antibodies, have never been exposed, and they re clean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re not infectious to others, so they re not in danger to others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they have to know that they re still susceptible to catching it, so they have to take their own precautions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But go back to the new normal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then what you do is you isolate the people that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are seroconverting or that may need to be tested with PCR to see if they re actively infectious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they are, then quarantine them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what you ve done is you ve isolated the people that need to as opposed to isolate everyone and let the rest of society kind of get back to a new normal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, one interesting thing that we ve seen in San Miguel County is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right now, I think we have about eight PCR positive, positively swabbed confirmed cases in that county." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a county of about 8,000, so that s about 0.1%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What we ve already seen in the antibody test, even though we haven t finished, is at least 1% with confirmed antibodies around there, and another 2% that look like they re high borderlines that may seroconvert." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you can already think about the ratio between what is confirmed via PCR, what we think is in the county, versus maybe it s a higher prevalence than we anticipate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, it s actually around us much more than we expect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So is it just, I m really curious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Isn t it possible that this virus has been around a lot longer than the last three months?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I was reading an article I pointed out the other day that said, so where does SARS go?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was written six years ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They talked about it s a coronavirus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many things are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is one bridge ago, but this is six years ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they said at least two thirds of the population will have this virus in their body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The vast majority will never even know it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their body will handle it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some might feel mild flu-like symptoms and some will have extreme symptoms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s like six years ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "this was written, isn t it possible that this virus is around us and the vast majority of people don t have any impact?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It certainly seems that way from the testing we re seeing so far when we get to people that are asymptomatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think that s definitely a possibility." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually, I don t know enough to talk about it, but it does seem, and I ve heard lots of reports and seen lots of studies, that it has been around from beginning, definitely before the New Year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and there s actually a question as to its origination and the fact that it was probably even circulating and just confused for the flu in many instances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The truth of the matter is that something that might be like, you know, people have cancer cells in their body right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can swab the back of somebody s throat and you can find they got streptococcus, they don t have strep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s an immunal situation, really, more than anything else, because that s who s really dying in this case, whether they have it or not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The hospitalizations, not the case numbers, but the hospitalizations and then the deaths are the things that really matter to our society the most." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it seems to be an infinitely small number and getting smaller as we test more people, which should give people a little bit more hope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, I mean, I think that s really what it s about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think the information is going to make is give people a tremendous amount of hope and a tremendous amount of empowerment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, I m a believer that people are are extremely capable and extremely smart, but they can t make good decisions with bad information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I think that the testing is critical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It allows us to know, you know, and really evaluate this accurately and understand what the risk level is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And like you mentioned, it s really about getting a handle on what real math is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Like, what s real science, the real math?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s the real morbidity?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And the only way we re going to know that is by testing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And when we test, what we re going to find out, like Maymay implied in the county and like we re going to see around the country, is that these rates are probably going to be higher than we think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and the morbidity associated would probably be lower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that doesn t detract from the need for a vaccine to help immunocompromised people and other people that would be subjected to the illness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I think it s really about getting people information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do you plan to get the tests out?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re doing this initial study in Telluride." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to do the follow-up starting tomorrow, it sounds like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll be on your two-week marker, so you ll have a sense of what s happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What happens at the end of this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you get this out?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you re working through the government." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you going to put this through?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is a test going to be available through doctors?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it available through Amazon?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How does this come to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So right now, we have a facility out in Long Island, New York, and we re producing about 100,000 tests a week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re actually ramping up to a million a week next month, and we re hoping to bring actually on some additional sites to get our capacity up to one million a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what we re doing is actually working with lab partners to help be able to actually process that many tests as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, in terms of customers," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In user interfaces, there s a whole slew of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The good news is that people recognize the need for testing and want to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are big corporations that want to keep their employees safe and know that they can safely go back to work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think one of the top priorities that we re working with are large hospital systems, people who have essential workers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "particularly healthcare workers, right, that are exposed day and day and day into COVID-19, and they want to know, do I have the antibodies?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I get back to work?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you have your front line, like police officers, firefighters, if you have these guys go down, there s going to be so much more damage to our society than just the disease." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those are the folks that we re prioritizing that, you know, of course, we want to test outbreak areas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "such as New York City, New York State." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then afterwards, it s really just population." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have types of orders where it s, hey, I want to test 30,000 people a day for the next six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just want to get through them and see, okay, who s been exposed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who s got the antibodies?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who s safe to go back to work?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a pretty systematic methodical process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If somebody owns a company, Maymay, if somebody owns a company, like, you know, I ve introduced some, you know, Salesforce and some people of that nature to you who are going to test or maybe Time Magazine, you know, they re investigating testing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m trying to make those introductions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if someone watching owns a company or if they re just an individual and they want to get tested, what s their best bet?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do they go about finding out how they can get this done?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because they re going to hear about this and say, this makes sense to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to know if I ve been exposed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know if I got anybody so I m healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My body s doing great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can let go and I can move forward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I owned a company, small or big, or if I m an individual, how would they go about getting access to this now or in the near future?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re a company, definitely come talk to us because we re actually working with a number of companies to put together a package where we help essentially provide the testing and match up the processing capabilities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And depending on the size, we have companies of all different sizes, including some top Fortune 500 companies that are interested in keeping their employees." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "safely going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re an individual, oftentimes it s easier through a clinical network." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what we re trying to do is actually establish large networks of doctors that will be offering this test in their clinics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How will they know it s your test versus another antibody test?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What will it be known under the name?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are we under the name of COVAX test or what would it be under?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a COVAX test." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they should just ask for the COVAX test." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And let me just add, if I could, the website is covaxx.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you re a company, right now, the minimum size order, I believe, Lou and Maymay, and Lou, you can double click on this if you want, because this really is not for individuals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s for provider networks and companies and governments, because you re dealing with national governments and governors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you talk a little bit about that, Lou, maybe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So because of the, I mean, the goal here is to have the biggest impact and get people back to the new normal as quickly as possible and get the economy like up and running and people, you know, not afraid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so, and so one of the keys there, and like Maymay touched on earlier really well, I think actually is, you know, this is about if you can test first responders, if you can test the thousands of police officers in Detroit and in New York and in LA that are not" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "not on the streets because they don t have actionable information, then you really go a long way in solving the problem and getting those people back to work and getting things moving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Same thing on the company level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Peter, as you were mentioning, we are trying to target these larger orders because of that for obvious reasons." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think that that s been really productive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think that it s about" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The average is about 9,200." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s about 100 plates." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s where we re trying to focus on orders that size and bigger and focus on communities and states and large companies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Start there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So a person could go to their company, if it s a large company, or to their local mayor, governor, whoever, and say, we really want to do this and try to push this moving forward while you re continuing to penetrate all the governments throughout the United States and obviously other parts of the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that the fundamental way people can act on this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then they go to the website and get the information and share it with those decision makers so they can get exposed to the effectiveness compared to any other form of testing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s talk about the vaccine if we can then because this is really exciting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s one thing to get the test and obviously majority of people are having mild to no symptoms at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re hearing about the worst case scenarios." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve heard projections through the roof that are turning out to be inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People rushed to hospitals out of their fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They had a cough or a fever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It overwhelmed our hospitals but" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We just had Dr. Babarari on from New York, and he talked about 90% of those people were sent home, that they didn t have anything actionable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was just the fear they got from the media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But there are people that are going to need some form of protection or some form of healing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And traditional vaccines, as I understand it, you ve got to use a form of the virus itself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You guys have a different approach, and it s a platform you ve proven before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell us a little about the vaccine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would make it superior?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what s the timing, which I know is the question everybody has in mind?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so we ve developed our vaccine platform for over 20 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The traditional way of a vaccine, just like you were saying, Tony, is you basically take the virus, you beat it up or you kill it, and then you reintroduce it to a body to train your body to recognize it so that when it actually sees it, it, you know," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "develops antibodies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we do is we never touch the actual virus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we do a synthetic version." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we make with a bunch of, you know, synthetic peptides and we mimic what a virus looks like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like the resonance of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I mean, we basically choose a part of the virus that we want to attack, and we kind of mimic the biology with chemicals, synthetic peptides, and then we attach it to our platform technology, and we use that and inject that into people, and we kind of trick the body into thinking that it is a real virus, so it trains it to develop antibodies and this long-term memory, and that s basically the immunity that we generate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve shown it in pigs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s kind of a funny thing, but they get a lot of infections." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s some really virulent diseases that kill swine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we ve been able to protect pigs from lots of infectious diseases." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and very virulent ones." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one other thing with that is they have mutations as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So one of the best parts of our technology is once we get the sequence of a virus, we can really rapidly change it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And because we re a chemical process, we can scale up very quickly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when these swine, you know, when a swine infectious disease kind of mutated, we took that and we, within, you know, two months had over a hundred million doses back on the market to treat and protect them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you ve done about 5 billion pigs, is that right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did I hear that number?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that accurate?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we vaccinated almost 5 billion pigs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we can do it at scale." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can do it at scale." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, you know, right now we sell for, you know, uh, just under a dollar a dose and make." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what would a traditional vaccine?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So people have a reality check of the difference in price and why this is so valuable to get to a mass audience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the difference in pricing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you clarify why is this safer?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And because of that, what s the timing on a vaccine like this from your perspective?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in terms of price, right now we manufacture over 500 million doses a year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for animal health indications." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We sell them for less than a dollar a dose and still have very healthy margins." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s super scalable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think one of the biggest advantages is our ability to actually produce that many vaccines." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might see in the papers a lot of people are basically investing in production capability now because they re afraid that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You may have something that works, but can you scale?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at the end of the day, it really only matters if you can scale to the masses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s how you develop and that s how vaccines have worked in the past." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In terms of timing, one of the hallmarks of our vaccine is its safety profile." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the reason why we took over such a large market share" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in swine vaccines was because we were not only efficacious, but unbelievably safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve brought our platform into humans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve done four clinical trials and other indications, and we re actually heading into phase three for another program." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And safety is a hallmark of ours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we re looking to do is we re finishing animal testing right now, and we re targeting to get this vaccine into human trials this summer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So pretty quick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me slow this down one second for everybody, because you said a few very important things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, this platform that your sister company, Vaccinity, has created, COVAX is using that same platform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this platform has been in humans before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you expect that it will be safe in humans once again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re talking about one of the" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the reasons that a traditional vaccine, we ve been hearing about vaccines from the FDA and on the news, could take 18 months is because you re worried about the unintended consequences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you give 100 million Americans or billions of people around the world a vaccine, are you causing something" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that you didn t expect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have companies like Moderna right now, which is a completely different approach to an RNA-based vaccine, which has never been done before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you ve done this for hundreds, maybe thousands of patients in this platform already, and you had zero downside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just make sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as far." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So listen, I actually root for everyone in this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if someone else s vaccine works, that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because frankly, this is a human crisis, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so whoever can help, this is a big ecosystem and we re just a part of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think one of the" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "differentiators of ours is that we ve actually commercialized off of our platform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we know how to scale up, and we know how to manufacture, and that s something that s not easy, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In terms of being safe, yeah, we ve been safe in lots and lots of people over three years of, you know, repeat dosing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, we haven t had much side effects." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so at the very least, we understand our platform is safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ve had experience, in fact, in coronaviruses, because we developed a vaccine antibody test against SARS." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, thankfully, SARS never came back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those were never, you know, pushed forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we have experience in doing this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re testing in the summer, what s the reality in terms of when a vaccine might be made available under the accelerated FDA approach?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so this is unprecedented times, Tony." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think, you know, the FDA was unprecedented in their guidance for antibody tests." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so they allow us to move forward even pre-EUA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so with vaccines, it s also unprecedented." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Traditionally, like Tony Fauci says, it s going to be 12 to 18 months, likely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But right now, if you re safe and you can show that you re safe, there may be an accelerated pathway where basically so long as you show that you have neutralizing antibodies that neutralize that virus, it could be to the masses by the beginning of next year, so six months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s a potential because, you know, the fear that people have, and again, the numbers are very different than what we re promoted, but still the fear is, Tony Fauci talks about this coming back seasonally again, and people, you know, without realizing, without tests, without knowing real morbidities, we d overreact again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, hopefully, we get the testing that gives us the real numbers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re already starting to see the real numbers are sometimes 1,000th of what s being promoted or believed in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if we got a vaccine as well, it s a different game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So perhaps, are you saying perhaps this could be done in time for the next season?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I think that s what everyone s going for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that it ll definitely, you know, that I think is what society is aiming for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we have all the pieces together to make that happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s really encouraging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I got to jump in just because I can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "help it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "The answer is that there are unprecedented times and the FDA absolutely has the ability to make this happen as fast as possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We re in the process of drafting our protocol for our IND submission with them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "This is the vaccine right here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So it s not like far away." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s in my hand." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s something that we can do now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So the question isn t like, you know, how long do we and I could make 100 million of these in a month if they said go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So what we need is we need to, that s where the vision needs to be in terms of how we do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And we need to seize the moment and the opportunity to really solve the problem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so this summer you ll start to have human trials." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How big will the human trial be, if I ask?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A few hundred people, a few hundred healthy volunteers." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And guys, this has been in animal testing thus far." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And in animals, it s been producing great sizable responses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tigers, you ve been generating antibodies in these animals." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can measure that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You ve actually, if I remember correctly, you tried something like a couple of dozen different approaches have been narrowing it down to the most effective vaccine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Is that correct?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We started with a couple dozen vaccines and we wanted to make sure that we get the highest titers, so the highest response from the immune system and that those antibodies target where we want." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re down to our favorites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is so encouraging, both at getting to some real numbers so we re not operating out of fear or overreacting to things that affect everybody health-wise, the economy and so forth, and really excited to hear you guys are working on a solution whose base appears to be very safe and perhaps can be acted on very, very rapidly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What else do you want the public to know about either the testing or the vaccines or the issue at hand, as well as how some of this platform you ve developed can affect or impact other diseases, because you certainly have worked in those areas over the last 30 years as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Yeah, so I mean, if we weren t here talking about diagnostics and vaccines for COVID, I d be telling you that, you know, we should have been meeting with the FDA to get their blessing and guidance on our registrational trial and our final trial for an Alzheimer s vaccine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So we have an Alzheimer s vaccine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We have a universal cholesterol vaccine, which is against PCSK9." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We ve got Parkinson s vaccines that have just finished or are finishing their phase one trial." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So these are things that are disruptive for the world and have an opportunity to really combat chronic illness in a cost effective way and a disruptive way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And we re doing our best here to fight the fight and democratize and demonetize" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "health as best as we can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And I think we have a really powerful platform and it s been displayed and saved millions and millions and billions of pigs lives." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And it s now been helping hundreds of people and I can t wait to roll it out and be able to help billions of people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Lou and Mamie are extraordinary entrepreneurs who have really just created a vision of where they want to go and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "making that vision into reality." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Neither of them are physicians or classical scientists by background." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They have an incredible science team behind them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But let me just ask, what s been able to make you both so successful?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because you re not traditional in any way, shape, or form." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If I called you traditional, you d probably hate me for it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So what you re doing is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "massively outside the norm." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Could you take a moment and just share some mentorship?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I think it s hard to talk about myself, but I think you just have to care, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to care and really believe in what you re doing, because it s not easy to do what we re trying to do, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It takes a lot of work and a lot of effort and a lot of teamwork." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you really have to find something that you re passionate about and that you think makes a difference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Lou and we re married, taught me how to see bigger than just around me, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And our family." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, this is a chance to save many, many lives to make an impact way beyond yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think if you have that," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "greater purpose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, you dedicate more of yourself and you don t give up until you get it done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, so that s kind of just where we come from and we ll do whatever it takes to get it done and help people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, there s lots of sacrifices that are made, you know, our kids sacrifice or friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, but, uh, if you have that greater purpose, um, you have a higher chance of getting there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Beautiful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And your mom is, uh, is have to be an influence on your mom and dad together, I guess, started the company 30 years ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell us the breakthroughs that brought her forward, just so we get a sense of the history before I wrap up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cause it s, it sounds like it, uh, the apple doesn t fall far from the tree." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, so my mother is the chief scientific officer and, um, you know, she was the first, uh, Asian woman ever to be accepted to Rockefeller university." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She came over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she basically never took no for an answer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If someone said it was impossible, she said, why is it impossible?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she s the hardest working person and never is dissuaded." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she never thinks that she can t do something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s a really powerful thing to grow up with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes, you know, you re luckier when you don t know what you can t do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s actually something that Lou and my mother have a lot in common." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they... Shout out to your mom and dad for all of us for helping you to have those values that are helping you create these kinds of breakthroughs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Hey Lou, you re someone who in my mind is one of the most extraordinary manifestors of the future I ve ever met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A lot just, you know, literally going from we should test all of San Miguel County to making that happen to on the phone, you know, every other hour with a different governor and a different head of a nation and a different Fortune 50 CEO." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Just as an entrepreneur, as an entrepreneur here, a couple of thoughts of what you ve" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "experience learned or what s driven you to think at this level scale like nobody else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Well when I was little my dad used to say what he missed about being young was not knowing what he couldn t do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And so I ve been determined to never know that and the way I look out the window or look out the door and I see if there s a reality that that you don t like change it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And so the idea is that it s about doing the things that are right and finding the big things, the things that move the needle and change lives, and then just doing them, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And when people say you can t or there s a reason or whatever, it s almost like it should be energizing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And it should be energizing because like, that s energy that they re putting out there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And you can use that energy to make it, you can turn that right around and make it the most positive thing that fuels your fire." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And if you know that, and you really believe it, and you put all of your energy into it, you know, the world gets made by that energy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re both, you and your family are closest friends of mine and my family and Tony as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This is a love fest, but just this is inspiration." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think we re living in a time where individuals can change the world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, COVAX as a team is a very small team of individuals who potential to do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And besides the implications of the diagnostics and the vaccine, I just want this to become inspiration for everybody watching about not giving up and not taking no and not thinking you can t make a difference because we all can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you, everyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hope this has been helpful to you, inspiring to you, both on a business level, but most importantly, freeing you from the virus of fear that seems to consume so many, showing you that the solutions are here, the answers are coming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the high-precision, affordable antibody test that you just heard Tony, Mei-Mei, Lou, and Peter discuss, visit www.covax.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s www.covaxx.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Special thanks to Mei-Mei Hu, Lou Reese, and Dr. Peter Diamandis." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you ever wanted to chat with Tony Robbins directly?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you can, and it s as easy as texting him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s right, Tony is part of Community, a new platform that allows you to communicate with him one-on-one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All you need to do is send him a text at 561-423-1444." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s 561-423-1444." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be sure to let him know what you think about this episode and all of the other life changing content he s making available to you at www.tonyromans.com slash resources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today we have a very important episode for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re like many people, you re probably trying to make sense of all of the information that s being shared 24 hours a day on television, headline news, and across social media channels around the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a lot to keep up with, as new numbers and statistics about COVID-19 are being broadcast around the clock." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this episode, we re bringing you two longtime leading physicians to provide context and clarification of the facts that you re hearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dr. Peter Diamandis and Dr. Bob Hariri will break down the coronavirus data that you re seeing and hearing in the media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dr. Hariri is a surgeon, a biomedical scientist, and a serial entrepreneur in biomedical technology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s going to share some of his team s breakthroughs in a stem cell treatment that could be an effective solution for COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode was recorded on Thursday, April 9th." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey everybody, it s Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, we have a really important program for you today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Shout out to all of you that I know are dealing with all kinds of stresses with the whole world being shut down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have like 200, whatever the number of people, billion people that are shut down into their homes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s so much fear and there s so much uncertainty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the purpose of this particular program is to bring you some of the best experts in the world who can help you put this in context." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because a lot of what we ve heard and a lot of the decisions we ve made has been based on numbers that were projected to be accurate and haven t been accurate, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one s done anything wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody s trying to protect our society, protect our world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in so doing, there may be some overprotection." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so just like if you go hear a medical diagnosis today, most human beings know you should get a second opinion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, we re going to have some experts who are super qualified to be able to talk in this area because it s a pure expertise, try and give you a context of what we ve learned and where we really are, maybe dispel some of the fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then the majority of the time we really want to talk to is what are some of the solutions that are coming out that are true breakthroughs that can make a difference with this COVID-19 situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re going to have a couple of guests, but who s going to be my partner today is my partner in real life, which is Peter Diamandis, who is my dear, dear friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re partners together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s the head of the XPRIZE." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He created the XPRIZE." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of you in my audience know who he is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "executive founder of Singularity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s, you know, multiple New York Times number one bestseller with Bold and Abundance and Bold Capital Partners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s so many companies, I couldn t list them all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But Peter s joining us now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, Peter, hello." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thanks for joining me, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thanks for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you, brother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, and yeah, it s a welcome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Welcome everybody as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, and during this time, we re all trying to understand what s going on with this pandemic, because it s both a viral pandemic and it s a pandemic of fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And people are talking about what are the diagnostics available?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are the antivirals available?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are the vaccines available?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "More importantly, what are the therapeutics available?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we have an incredible guest that Tony will introduce in a second, who is another brother and a partner with us, one of the smartest people that we know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I want to contextualize what we re going to speak about during the course of this hour plus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first is, let s talk about what s truly going on around the world in terms of what are the real numbers?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How fearful should you be?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How hopeful or optimistic should you be that this might be over soon?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "or it s not as bad as people think it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the meat of this program is going to be a therapeutic treatment for COVID, for viral infections that you might not have heard about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s a concept of cellular medicine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re going to be talking about how do you augment your immunity with natural killer cells and with stem cells." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "An extraordinary scientist, physician, and CEO is with us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tony, you want to go ahead and introduce?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, and I just want to say in this particular show, we may divide this in two to be honest, so we ll decide as it s here, but we re also going to bring you some people who are in the most advanced areas of testing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve all heard about antibody testing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many people are saying this is the only way we really get back to work because the current tests that you re doing swabs on, we ll go into this a little bit later in the show here," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, not super accurate, a lot of false positives, but most importantly, it only tells you that you might have the virus now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t tell you if you developed antibodies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, if your body is now, your immune system is strong and it ll fight off the virus, you don t have to worry about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re free to go back to your normal life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, it s pretty important, as well as a similar company that is working on a vaccine that s worked in this industry for more than 30 years, but a vaccine that may be accelerated in its tempo, not 18 months away, simply because the source of vaccine, as we ll walk through with them, doesn t actually use the virus itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, it s not so dangerous, but we ll get into that as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, it s a solution-oriented show, but we want to start by introducing Dr. Bob Howrey, MD, PhD," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bob is an incredible neurosurgeon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a biomedical student." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a high-performance aviator." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a serial entrepreneur in two technology sectors and biomedicine and aerospace both." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s truly a renaissance man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s our dear friend and partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I got a hold of Bob originally through Peter and I when I tore my rotator cuffs and kind of started on this journey of understanding cellular therapy because they were torn so badly during this snowboarding accident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that literally the doctor said, three different doctors, you have to have surgery, surgery immediately, the pain was incredible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the problem was the rehab, the three to six months of rehab where I wouldn t be able to clap, move and do things I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Bob was the one who taught me the difference in the different types of stem cells in the world and cellular therapy, and got me to the right type of treatment, the impact of which was one session, no exaggeration, and my rotator cuff is absolutely perfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can do everything I want to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have no downtime." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it was life changing to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that entered me into this whole area of really looking at the change that s happening in medicine today and finding out as much as I could about cellular therapy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bob is the chairman and founder and chief executive officer of Cellularity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s one of the world s leading human cellular therapeutic companies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s a pioneer in stem cells and just a brilliant, brilliant guy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s also a straight shooter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s always fun to be with Bob." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bob, welcome to the program." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony, great to see you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Peter, thanks for having me on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Beautiful, buddy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great to be with you, man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, let s start with context." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, you re up there in New York." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see on the news every night there s a red frame or everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More people dying, more people diagnosed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You and I both know diagnosed doesn t mean a whole lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s who gets hospitalized." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They put these huge numbers up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And no one s trying to do anything wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re trying to inform people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And unfortunately, using fear as the primary motivator," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you give us a little context about what s really happening in the trenches, where we stand, and what the numbers were originally based on, that all these formulas that made us shut down the world economy are from Wuhan versus what we re finding now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So listen, we re living through an unprecedented event in global health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Viruses come and go all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Pandemics happen with a great deal of frequency." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s unique about this particular pandemic is the nature of the virus itself is somewhat different than what we are normally used to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And the somewhat nefarious origins of the virus have left people to be both" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "on a hyper-vigilant, hyper-alert state, but also willing to react very aggressively to any negative news they hear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, the bottom line is the early" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "evaluation and reports on the number of people who were infected and who had bad results from the infection was very alarming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you go back six to eight weeks ago, the number of people that were shown to have the virus and were getting really sick" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "was alarming because this was somewhat unusual for conventional flu, at least the way conventional flu is reported." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, the fact is that we really don t fully understand when this virus first made landfall here in the United States." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "There are some who speculate that it may have come here as early as last fall." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A virus like this has characteristics that dictate its rate of spray." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Some of those characteristics are how long can somebody be carrying it and infected with it where they don t have symptoms, yet they can still infect others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If that period is long, then one person can interact with many, many more people and potentially be a source of infection for those people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Flu, influenza, the incubation period is relatively short, which means if you got it, within a few days, a day or two, you re starting to have symptoms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You isolate yourself naturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "from the crowd." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not infecting that many people, but if you can carry it for 7 to 10 to 14 days, relatively asymptomatic, you may infect hundreds of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And therefore, the exponent, how many people wind up ultimately getting exposed, is that much higher." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very suspicious how quickly this particular viral infection affected many, many people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number two is that although the vast majority of people, probably 90% who are exposed and get infected actually have very mild or no symptoms at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these people don t even seek help of the physician or a hospital." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but a small percentage that are going to the hospital and are seen to have in fact been infected do develop" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "very severe complications." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those complications can include difficulty breathing, in some cases necessitating being on a ventilator, and we re actually learning more and more that the ventilatory problems are not like a conventional pneumonia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They may in fact be far more insidious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They may in fact involve the way oxygen gets across the lung into the blood and even how the oxygen is carried in the bloodstream." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That being said," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For roughly every 100 patients who is so alarmed that they go to the emergency room, 80 of them are sent home because they re not that sick." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "20 wind up staying in the hospital, and of that 20, four to six of those get sick enough they have to be put in the ICU." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the numbers are not that alarming, but remember, when the news first carried the possibilities that this pandemic could affect millions and millions of patients, and when the lethality rate was originally estimated to be as high as 5%, you know everyone panicked." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People, if your wife or your child or your brother or your mother started to develop symptoms, you ran to the emergency room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people, with the amplitude of symptoms that they had," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "under normal circumstances, if this wasn t on the front page of every news, would stay home and rough it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in contrast, this was such a call, a crisis call." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This fear produced mass number of people going to the hospital who wouldn t normally go there, overran the hospitals." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Certainly gotten away in certain countries like Italy and so forth where they re able to operate normally and do what they normally do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then also, all that fear was really based on algorithms that came from an initial small group of people from China who were extremely ill, not understanding who might be infected as a whole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re used to the flu with 20 to 40 million people being infected in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "alone every year, and us having 35 to 80,000 deaths." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Those seem normal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This year," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The CDC says we have 39 million people infected with the flu." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There have been 29,000 deaths here in the United States in this exact time period." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we ve had 200,000 hospital visits, but none of that gets reported because what s happening is what s new about this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had zero cases and then we found the virus and now we started testing for whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And as you know, Bob, wherever we test, we find more and more of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "but it s changing the morbidity or the death rate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everything was based on these algorithms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what Dr. Fauci and everyone else did with the best intent of protecting us and going three and a half, four and a half, five percent death rate versus flu, which might be zero point one, two or three or four, less than a half a percent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they decided to take giant action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, Dr. Fauci is a good man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s worked his tail off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s been around, you know, 70 plus years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s been telling people up until now," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because it was his best estimate, all these formulas, we all know bad data in, bad data out, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Algorithms don t, they re only as good as what you put in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "These three and a half, four and a half percent morbidity rates they re talking about being far greater than the flu." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s now correcting that a week ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is New England Journal of Medicine, as you well know, one of the most respected journals in the United States." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s read it together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "March 26th." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If one assumes that the number of asymptomatic, meaning no symptoms, or minimally symptomatic cases is several times as high as the number of recorded cases, the case fidelity rate may be considerably less than 1%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That suggests that the overall clinical consequence of COVID-19 may also be more akin to those of a severe seasonal influenza, which means flu, versus SARS or MERS, which were at nine, 10, and 36%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yet, unfortunately, on the news, he committed years, you know, weeks ago, 200,000 to 2 million people were gonna die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so he said it again, 200,000 probably, and they asked him in the news, you know, and reporters, you said 2 million." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He goes, that s still possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The numbers don t show enough to be true right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet people are scared and we re shutting down our economy on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I d love your comments on these, because these are facts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re not suggestions of some right-wing conspiracy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is not saying there s conspiracy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just saying people are trying to protect and maybe they ve overreacted to something because it s so new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are your comments on this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, you hit on a lot of important points." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s go over a couple of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, what has completely alarmed everyone" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is that early prediction that the death rate could be as high as 5%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember, 5% means one in 20 people die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It means that more than that actually gets sick, but one in 20 actually die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That means lots of people you know will die, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, point one, New York numbers, it should be 148,000 people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just read the article based on the original projection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And obviously it s not, but, but influenza deaths, 0.1%, that s one in a thousand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I bet you that very few of us can remember a friend or loved one who died of influenza." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, so that 5% lethality rate that was originally quoted was the basis for everyone s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "reflexive and panicked response to this crisis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, you mentioned something else which is very important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The data is being derived from numbers based upon certain test results, many of which are not reflective of the biology." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And let me explain that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first test available was a test for the presence of the virus, which is looking for the nucleic acids of the coronavirus itself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They swab the surface of your nasal mucosa." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a comfortable thing, but they do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they measure whether or not you have the nucleic acids from this virus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That says you have what s called colonization by the virus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That doesn t equate to infection by the virus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those are two different things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only way to determine whether you re really infected is to identify the virus inside you, and you re sick." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re actually developing symptoms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, if all you re going to do is measure only the people who are symptomatic, and if they re symptomatic, detect virus on them, and that is your case number, that becomes the denominator from which you calculate death rate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you take the number of people who died over the cases that you discovered, and that s where they were coming up with this 3%, 4%, 5% death rate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not an accurate reflection, and it s not the way we calculate the death rate for flu, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just so you know, the CDC, you can go to the CDC website." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The CDC calculates the death rate for flu as the number of people who die divided by the estimated number of cases." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are not documented, demonstrated patients who have influenza." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s what the government estimates it to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just sent you two graphs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you look at the first graph, it is the death rate here in the United States, which was starting to drop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The minute it started to drop, it pumped back up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reason it pumped back up is they started to attribute anyone who died in the hospital as from COVID." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, that s that s what s called statistical reassignment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, it s a method that s used by people to get whatever they want So if you re going to take someone who got to the hospital and died of a heart attack and then post-mortem Swab his nose and find coronavirus and say hey, he died of covid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not that s not accurate, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know mark twain said there s three kind of lies lies damn lies and statistics" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One second here, guys, just to add some context here as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The important thing for folks to realize is this, again, a pandemic, a viral pandemic, but this is also a pandemic of fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s created by misinformation and by people trying to actually do good, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we don t, we aren t panicking when someone dies from influenza, but let me give some other numbers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We talk about the death rates going on from COVID-19 and we re seeing numbers like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, peak at 600 a day, 800 a day, 1,000 a day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s some numbers to contextualize this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Globally, tuberculosis kills 3,000 people every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hepatitis, 2,400 people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, HIV, AIDS, 2,100 people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Malaria, 2,000 people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have, you know- A day, every single day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single day around the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not shutting down every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "everything all over the place and many of those, some of those things are infectious as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And as bad as this is, again, for all of us, our hearts go out to people and I know friends who have passed on this and who have been intubated on this and it s a terrible challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There is one silver lining here that s important to realize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even, and I ll just say it, I think of this almost as a practice pandemic, in that this is not the first pandemic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There have been massively bad pandemics, and there will be ones in the future, period, as we re encroaching on the environment, as temperatures rise, and all of those elements." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We can talk about that if you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ultimately, this pandemic could have had the transmissibility that this particular, you know, SARS-CoV-2 virus has with the mortality of an Ebola, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People treat this like it s a death sentence when they say, oh my God, I have COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, it could be a mild flu, it could be a bad flu, but imagine if it had a 50% mortality rate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what this practice pandemic has done, and I m going to call that not to diminish the massive financial hardship this has had, but it s uncovered all of the breakpoints in our financial system, our governance system, and our healthcare system, that hopefully, if nothing else, we learn how to repair those and not have that happen again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One other thing that it s doing, and goes to the extraordinary work of my older brother from another mother here, Bob Hurley, is it s causing and allowing the FDA to iterate faster." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because we ve had a very slow, methodical," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you know, it s a bureaucracy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we are seeing, you know, again, diagnostics and vaccines, we ll talk about that in part two of this, but also antivirals and also therapeutics, one of which, very proud, is the brainchild of Bob Hurley." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The piece that we re trying to get across to you is that, yes, this is serious, but so is the flu, and that the people that are most affected by the flu are also the elderly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look in Italy and see all these people dying, 79% of them have died or over 90, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally 99% of the people who have the disease have some preexisting condition, and more than half have three, cancer, heart disease, diabetes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Bob, maybe you can mention about what s been happening, because let s put up what the Nobel Prize winner said from Stanford, just so you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was talking about, he s been on the air talking about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, we re trying to do modeling, we re trying to look at numbers, and we re trying to understand what they re telling us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One problem with these tests is they re very sensitive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Small amounts, he shared with us, tiny amounts of the virus can be detected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So almost everyone who dies, no matter what the cause, will have coronavirus, but that s not the reason it killed you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t kill you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could have died in a car accident and be having it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he s arguing that we ve overreacted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shut down our economies based on those 5% projections, which aren t even true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fauci himself is saying it s less than 1%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s the same as the flu." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we ve now built an entire system of destruction of the economy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are so afraid because they don t know what the real facts are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I saw on one day in February where the death rate jumped 600 percent in a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, you know, I m not a genius virologist, but I know it s pretty hard for something to jump that much in a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we went through the statisticians and Bob, I know you can comment on this because you ve seen it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They changed the rules on how they diagnosed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You used to have to have a test to say you died of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they might put in the notes that, you know, they had symptoms or it was probable that it may have been brought on by COVID or the flu." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, they just count, they don t need any tests and they count it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the numbers you re seeing that even seem high, they re not high in deaths." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even the death rate is not probably a fair representation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Bob, maybe you can address that, the sensitivity of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the other thing we found is there s an article from 2014 and the title is Where Did SARS Go?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the description is it s a coronavirus and that some colds and flus are driven by it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that, you know, over time, two thirds of us will end up having it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as you said, Bob, we ll feel nothing or we ll have mild symptoms that the" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The people that are affected by it are those whose immune systems are compromised, which we re going to get to with you, Bob, with a solution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But those are compromised because of pre-existing conditions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And before, they would say they died of pneumonia, or they died of cancer, or they died of whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now it s being pushed to, it s a COVID death." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So can you address that, Bob?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re in New York in the hospitals, and you re sharing with me what you ve seen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, Professor Levitt is a brilliant scientist in his own right, but he s also very practical and reasonable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "reality is what he is saying is true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can create statistics that will fit any narrative." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One does not realize upfront, but the panic that was created because of the forecasted lethality of this virus" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "meant that people were flooding hospitals and overwhelming the healthcare system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we were supposed to not do, remember, flatten the curve, flatten the curve, don t ever exceed the carrying capacity of the hospital." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But by instilling that panic, people went to hospitals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, the people who went to the hospital and got sent home," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "spent 12 to 16 hours sitting in a place that was awash with more coronavirus, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if you happen not to have had a big inoculum before, you spend 12 hours in the ER and you re going to go home with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re going to spread it around even more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The truth of the matter is that what concerns me is that it appears that rather than take" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a conservative look at the numbers and provide true realistic data and explain how you arrive at these numbers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There were times when people were saying the lethality rate may be higher than 5%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look, I m a father." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can imagine what would happen after you heard that news and your kid starts coughing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t know if you re able to detect whether it s serious or not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you go to the expert." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When those experts are overwhelmed in a hospital," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not a good thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When those experts, overwhelmed in the hospital, every time a patient starts to have evidence of these respiratory problems, they re in the ICU." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then what we call the threshold for intervention, the threshold for intervention comes down, because you don t want people dying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The docs and the nurses in the hospital are absolute heroes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The minute they see somebody starting to crash, they go all out and they re putting these patients on ventilators." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we re learning that the ventilators may in fact be contributing to the problem because it s not a conventional pneumonia." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We didn t give ourselves time to figure this stuff out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So picture this, 100 people hit the ER, 80 of them are well enough to go home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That means their immune system s doing its job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s probably a thousand people who are have carried it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a thousand get it get carry it a hundred wind up Being infected with it of that hundred eighty percent immune system is good enough to send them home of the of the twenty that are left over" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "15 or so can be managed in the hospital with relatively conservative measures, some supplemental oxygen, some antibiotic support, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And those people never have to go to the ICU or get ventilated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Five of them, five to six of them, wind up having to go to the ICU and get on a ventilator." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the reason that they go downhill is because the virus induces a very" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "very aggressive immune response and inflammatory response, which basically prevents the oxygen from getting across their lungs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If any of you guys follow my Twitter, you may have noticed I said a few days ago that when I look at the data, these patients actually look more like they re at altitude." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their lungs are acting more like they re at the top of the Himalayas than they are having a pneumonia." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what that means is there s a problem getting oxygen across the lung into the bloodstream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, that s interesting because it changes a little bit of the strategy, the ventilator strategy, but it may also mean that the virus is doing something very unconventional, okay, which means that it may be damaging lung tissue irreversibly, and this may in fact be the reason why many people who survive this still have longstanding cardiac and pulmonary problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just one quick question that may not be interesting for anybody else, but I m curious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t seen your blog about this, but I ve also read about the oxygen thing, and there s several doctors saying the pressure that s being done in these hospitals, they need just the oxygen, not just the pressure, that the pressure actually may be doing more damage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re so right, Tony." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s the thing, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve treated 1,500, 2,000 pneumonias in the ICU in my days, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Pneumonias are very different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The lung literally gets filled up with pus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Literally, bacteria and other microorganisms colonize and create a" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "create an inflammatory response, and the lungs literally get filled up with fluid and gunk and everything else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In those patients, you have to create very high airway pressures to get air down into the bronchiole so people can get oxygen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, you don t need high airway pressures." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, you re right, it probably is deleterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, that to me suggests that the mechanism on the lung is very, very different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it suggests that any stem cell product capable of modulating the immune response and stimulating regeneration is probably really going to be very, very good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the great news about it is it brings people s attention to studying the immune system because that s the real factor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was reading in Italy, 79% of the patients that died in Italy over the age of 90" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the current number." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, influenza has been growing like crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "25,000 people die of the flu there normally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ve got the oldest population in the world other than Japan, and you have this mass rush that s been generated by the media and fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People, like you said, coming to the hospital, using all the resources, and they don t need anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the media has created so much fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you know, it s sort of like, we ve all been through it, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tony, where you live, a hurricane s brewing in the Bahamas, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you re told it s going to be the worst hurricane in the history of your part of Florida." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what does everybody do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They run out and they tear apart every store." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can t get a gallon of milk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can t buy a loaf of bread." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then what happens" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It comes and sweeps by, everybody s fine, and what you ve done is you ve bruised the system for the foreseeable weeks ahead." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, in this case, listen, I would never want to be in Dr. Fauci s shoes, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You have this thrown on your shoulders, and his greatest fear is, if I under-inform people, are people going to die unnecessarily?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it was unfair to leave this all on the shoulders of one guy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What they should have done, since this is a mass casualty scenario, they should have enlisted multiple experts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They should have gotten" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "trauma docs who deal with mass casualty stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They should have gotten more than just epidemiologists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They should have gotten intensivists and others who understand the practical nature of deploying care and said, hey, guys, what should we really be telling the public?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because I guarantee it would have been a more tempered type of description." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, right now, what we know is this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is far less lethal than originally predicted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is a rapidly transmittable disease, but since most people have mild disease, it means most people are gonna just kind of go through this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Guess what happens after they get through it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They come out immune, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or probable immune." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what we re doing to some extent by isolating everyone is we re slowing the development of community immunity to the disease." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And community immunity is important going forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what prevents the thing from coming back in the fall." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It also means that we have completely taxed the healthcare system, so they no longer have a big reserve left if something really bad was to happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "None of us are critical of anyone, but we do believe that we can learn lessons here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And these lessons should never let us go back to this again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by the way, when people say the cure can t be worse than the disease, you know, we have no idea how to calculate the impact of poverty and joblessness and depression." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, you know, by the way, what happens to somebody in solitary confinement in prison?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They get sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s one of the most stressful things you can put people through." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Isolation is causing, is causing unknown amounts of health problems that we are going to have to deal with going forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you know, it s very sad because I remember the beginning of the year," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "seeing optimism and joy and a sense of a willingness to go out and take risks in building businesses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In my community, people were opening stores and restaurants, and now these people are boarding them up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going to happen?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to have more bankruptcies, more unemployment, and it s truly a massive impact." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly, when this is said and done, I don t think we re gonna have properly measured that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the challenge is gonna be, how do we revitalize?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It takes a while, it takes years after three or four months of impact to bring the economies back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The virus is not going away, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The virus is still gonna be the environment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, no, it s gonna be part of the environment forever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it may have already been, it could have been here before six months ago." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we re reading this piece on coronaviruses from six years ago, they said we d have two thirds of us would have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s, we re, there s a lot of assumptions that we re making along the way with science that needs to have assumptions that are tested, but we didn t test them in this environment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We made those assumptions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ran our algorithms and we went again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody had bad intent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all these politicians committing, you know, an emergency when there s one death in the state, they re just being told by everybody else, this is what s going to grow to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw the governor of Ohio call a declaration of emergency and he said, we re going to have 100,000 people infected here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, one intelligent reporter said there s only 1120 infections in the whole country right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can you say 100,000 in your state?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, well, it s going to double from 100,000 in a few weeks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re gonna have all these deaths. " }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so he said, well, I ve been told that by the experts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He put his expert on, a doctor, a really great lady." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she apologized, says, I was really exhausted this morning when I made these predictions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She literally says this on the air." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then she said afterwards, but other experts have been telling me it s about 1% and it ll keep doubling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have made these decisions that now it s gonna be hard not to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They all came from the best intent, protect our people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but we re getting to the real numbers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re a bit challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you explain a place like Sweden that s got a population like that and they don t, that s not out of control and they re not doing what we re doing here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Schools are open." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Primary schools are open." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Preschools are open with little children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Restaurants are open." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People in the streets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, listen, there, there were two approaches to this, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One approach upfront was to understand the possible" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "bad side of this virus and calculate the worst case scenario, present it like that, but deal with it as mid case or best case scenario, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And take conservative measures." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For example, you just pointed out the vast majority of people who do very poorly are the very old or the ones with comorbidities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So right off the bat," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "selective isolation of the high risk groups might ve been a more conservative measure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, are younger people getting sick and dying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the reality is the way you approach a crisis like this is either, it s either hysteria or rational or rational thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s very sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t, I don t blame Dr. Fauci." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do blame the media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do blame the media because as Peter taught me, you know," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People are designed to pay 10 times more attention to bad news than good news." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so you give the media a little bit of bad news and they run with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they sit there and they, and they wallow in, in the panic they create." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because the more panic they create, people won t change the channel, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They ll stay and they ll listen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, so the truth of the matter is we did a disservice to the public by, by not fully informing them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "on how the numbers were arrived at, letting other experts opine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hate when just one person is the sole source of information, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We need to engage a lot of other folks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by the way, there are people who try to get the word out and they re suppressed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s look at one other thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They chatted them down towards some of the solutions, as you know, Bob." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not here to attack the media either." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the media is trying to do its job, but they re no longer designed to inform us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too competitive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they ve got to startle us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only thing that startles us is something huge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they also believe it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not asking the questions, OK, we have this many cases." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many are actually hospitalized?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or how does this compare to flu deaths?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of those questions are being asked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just full force." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gets all the attention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now there are people that they ve heard it for week after week, day after day, that it s like religion to them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They pretended science, but they say people are dying or you re promoting people, you know, doing things that are dangerous if you inform people that the numbers are different than they are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s move into" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what are the things that we do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s lots of great solutions that are showing up right now for someone who is in a severe situation, usually with other challenges, as you ve already pointed out, of pre-existing conditions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about the solutions, and then, Bob, let s see if we can t give people just a little bit of history about cellular medicine, all the way back to where you re kind of the father of it, to some extent, because of the research you did with the rats 30 years ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s pick which direction everyone you want to grab first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s move in that direction now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully, if you re listening, we ve got you at least the question that it isn t as severe, extreme thing as you think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t have to be in your life that way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you understand the numbers, you still want to do things that take care of yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But 90% of the people plus are not at severe risk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the numbers are tiny in context for everything else that happens." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right now, 1.35 million people will die this year in a car accident around the world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s 3,200 people a day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of us are saying, people cause these car accidents, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a little yellow line, someone s driving 70 miles an hour, you re going there, and we know every day, somebody s gonna fall asleep, somebody s gonna be texting, someone s gonna be drunk, and they come over and kill people every day, 3,200 a day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we don t say we re never going to drive again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s put a moratorium on driving." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why do we drive?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we drive?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Knowing that someone can kill us every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could happen any moment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We do it by using faith, not a religious term, just we re born with a faith that says, if I don t create certainty in myself, in spite of all the things that are risky, I have no life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to stay home and not move, which is kind of what we re doing right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s talk about either some of the solutions, but maybe first before the solutions, let s talk about cellular medicine for a moment and your original studies and what you found, because this goes way beyond COVID." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to talk about COVID-19 and your solutions, but it really is the breakthrough that s happening in regenerative medicine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s probably the most powerful change in medicine that s happened in a century." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other thing to contextualize this again is if you feel like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "COVID-19 is going away and it s not as bad as it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, remember, this is one of many pandemics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the questions that we re going to be asking Bob to address here is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do we prevent this from happening again?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do we actually put in place the mechanisms to keep us safe?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one thing that we did learn from all this data is, you know, 100 to one older people are dying than younger people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not that the virus understands a person s age, it s that we understand your immune system." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re constantly being infected by viruses, by cancers, and your immune system is an incredible defense system." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that protects all of us from it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as we age, as you ll hear, our immune system starts to degrade." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the incredible pieces of vision and work that Bob s been doing is how do we augment our immune system?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So listen to what Bob says from the perspective of hope, not just for this situation, but to protect us in the decades to come." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also not just from viruses, but also what to do to regenerate and rejuvenate your whole body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This doesn t have to be a survival issue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have science today that can make you younger, stronger, more effective than before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re working on a book together on this whole regenerative medicine breakthroughs that are there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Bob, just so people have context, let s shift to something that s a bit more uplifting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully people are uplifting to say it s not as bad as we thought." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Still got to deal with the economic consequences." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing separate events on that, seminars for people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "tell how to get their business going again as the world shifts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s talk about how you got on this road." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you re a neurosurgeon, you ve got amazing background, but tell us what you did with rats about 30 years ago that kind of started this journey." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, you know, Tony, 30, 35 years ago, back when I was a" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Working on my PhD at Cornell, one of the areas I was very interested in was the development of vascular disease." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was looking at the differences between old and young animals and why old animals develop much worse vascular disease than young animals." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was transplanting blood vessels from old and young and young and old." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it turned out that if I put an old blood vessel in a young animal, the old blood vessel was rejuvenated." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It acted young again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I didn t know it at the time, but I was doing a stem cell experiment back then." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was actually allowing the blood vessel to be renovated and remodeled by the stem cells coming from the young environment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, fast forward over 25 years ago, I got interested as a doctor taking care of head and spinal cord injury." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I got very interested in the emerging field of stem cell biology because I saw it as a potential tool to restore function in brain injured and spinal cord injured patients." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At the time, most of the work was focused around using cells from embryos." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I recognized that for stem cells to have a meaningful place in medicine, someone was going to have to productize them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Someone was going to have to turn them into a pharmaceutical-like product that a doctor could write an order for and apply a dose just the way they do any other therapeutic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was at that time my oldest daughter was in utero and as a young surgeon coming down to look at the first ultrasound, something dawned on me that hadn t in the past, which was although she was a peanut-sized embryo, the placenta was already this big organ." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it dawned on me with a little bit of knowledge of stem cells and where they come from and a little bit knowledge of the physiology of the placenta, it turned out that I was convinced the placenta must play a role" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "as the source of stem cells, which participated in the development of my unborn child." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, that got me interested enough to go look and chase it, and what happened was we found that the placenta was, in fact, nature s stem cell factory." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At a time when you had to either destroy an embryo or harvest the leftovers of an abortion," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Every birth yields a waste product called the placenta that s incinerated, has to be disposed of, but it was a great source of these biologic materials." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I started a company around that concept." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That company soon identified that the placenta was a source of cells that could replace any other source of stem cells, and it turned into what was the fastest growing player in the cellular medicine space." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Today, that company, Cellularity, was spun off of its parent company, Cellgene, and now we have the largest portfolio of cellular medicines in the world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what s interesting is we re using the fundamental native biology of those stem cells, their unique universal donor characteristics, meaning that the placenta is a source of cells that could be administered to anyone without having to match them, and the placenta has unique" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "defense capabilities in protecting the developing fetus from things like cancer or infectious diseases." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you make a note?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For everyone to know, what Bob told me has blew my mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is no situation, correct me if I m wrong, Bob, where a mother with cancer is transferred to her baby." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how powerful the placenta is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that correct?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s so rare that it becomes an isolated report." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The placenta defends the fetus from anything which would cause its demise." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you think about it, human beings devote nine months of reproductive energy to one offspring." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Evolution has selected for capabilities that protect that offspring at all costs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because back when humans were living 25, 30 years, you didn t get a lot of shots at producing babies to replace yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so that remarkable ability is conserved and transferable in the cellular products." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Among those unique properties, this ability for part of the immune system of the placenta and the newborn to actually defend against the transmission of cancer and infectious diseases was something we were fascinated by." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We studied and we identified a unique natural killer cell." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A natural killer cell is a specialized part of the immune system that is pre-programmed, if you will, to destroy potentially threatening" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "cells, whether they re cancer cells or bacteria or fungus or viruses or whatnot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Turns out that these placental natural killer cells target antigens, molecules that get expressed on the surface of cancer cells and virally infected cells." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "in the midst of our clinical trials in cancer, the COVID-19 crisis erupted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And although we always thought of the possibilities of taking these NK cells into infectious diseases, we saw an urgency to develop them for that purpose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We did the underlying scientific work," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "filed an investigational new drug application with the FDA, have been granted permission to test this in patients, and we re out treating patients as we speak, Tony, with COVID-19 with these placental NK cells." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re very excited about that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does treatment mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What happens to a patient and what level is this?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re treating patients through an intravenous transfusion of these natural killer cells to basically augment the natural killer cells they have in their current bloodstream." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How sick are the patients you re likely to treat?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then can you speak to the fact that this will be a therapy that can be on standby" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "any place on the planet at any time it s needed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just along with that, Bob, if I can add on there, let people know that in China, most people don t know the people that they re the most sick, those people in their 80s and 90s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is one of the only treatments, am I correct, that was successful in turning those people and getting them back out of the hospital?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a little background on that and then tell us how you re treating them now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there are very promising reports out of" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "China in patients with serious COVID-19, including patients who are on ventilators, that cell therapy has worked." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let me preface things by saying this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cellular therapy as a way to augment or support or boost the immune response is a revolution in the treatment of cancer, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We now know we can take immune cells, engineer them to turn up some of their capabilities to target tumors, and they re very, very effective at supporting a patient s response against that particular malignancy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I believe the same will apply in treating infectious diseases." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And as Peter pointed out, what we re really doing here is we re boosting and supporting a patient s dysfunctional or deficient immune response by giving them reinforcements in the form of these NK cells from donor placentas that are produced in our manufacturing facility." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The nice thing about this is it s administered via simple intravenous infusion." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Putting an IV in can be done in an emergency room." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It can be done in an infusion clinic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It can be done literally in a doctor s office." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the beauty is these cells boost." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They supplement your own body s immune response to a disease, which makes it a very convenient and clinically deployable methodology that fits into pretty much any health care system." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, the nice thing about getting these cells out of the postpartum placenta, this waste material," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "is it s a it s an approach that s both scalable and ultimately will have economics that are not going to be destructive to the health care system." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay explain explain a little bit why Bob in terms of the amount you can utilize these how you can do this people be saying how many placentas are being donated to make this happen can you explain just for a second before you go on so they know why it s really scalable and why the cost can be a lot less than a lot of the treatments certainly a lot less than traditional cancer treatments." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So cellularity has pioneered the ability to, um, what we call culture, expand and mass produce cells from the placenta, which means that from one placental donor, we can produce many doses of cells for different therapeutic purposes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Keep in mind in the world today, 130 million placentas, 130 million placentas are disposed of every year." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re, they re waste material." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s kind of an inexhaustible raw material." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And since you can produce multiple doses from one placenta, you know, we don t see that as being a rate limiter to deliver therapies for these sorts of diseases." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And because cellularity, like other companies in cellular medicine, recognize that at the dawn of our industry," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the manufacturing process is as much the product as the cells." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re getting better and better and better at creating efficiencies and quality systems so that these cells can be produced with very attractive economics." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bob, let me inject one thing that s very important." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think if anybody who s listening, if you re pregnant or you know someone who is pregnant," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right now, one of the things I think is almost a moral and ethical obligation is for you to bank your placenta." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve heard about cord blood banking, where you take umbilical cord blood and it s frozen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you ever should have a hemopoietic cancer, leukemia or something, that child" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you can use radiation to wipe out their existing bone marrow and replenish it from their original bone marrow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But even better than that is the ability to keep the placental cells, both in this case, the stem cells, which are pluripotent, not at this moment yet, but in the near future, we re going to be able to regrow" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "organs, liver, lungs, kidneys, hearts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I have two nine-year-old boys." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nine years ago, I banked the cells from their placentas." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The company is a division of Cellularity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And full disclosure, I m a co-founder, vice chairman of Cellularity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Tony is an investor in the company." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just make sure everybody knows that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s called Life Bank USA." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a process that is simple and easy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just think it s something that most people don t know about." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if they did, they d bank their placental cells." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What we re really talking about is how to use a natural material created by God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, to stimulate the immune system to get back to its healthy form again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, as we said earlier, you ve got cancer cells in your body right now, but you don t have cancer because your immune system is working well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you ve got streptococcus germs in the back of your throat, you don t have strep throat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You gotta have COVID-19 in really tiny amounts like we re seeing and not seeing it in your immune system is fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also why, even though today we re seeing cancers and diseases like this in young people as well, the majority, Bob, you can approach or mention about this, are happening older." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are age-old diseases." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, we re doing things that are suppressing immune systems, even children today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as you age, the immune system starts to get down." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re sending the information in not just to deal with a COVID-19 or to deal with a cancer, but also some people are doing it as a preparation for their nervous system to stay at its peak before any of these challenges happen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "True, Bob?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the reality is that no placenta should go to waste." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have the ability to process and derive cells from the placenta and mass produce them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the beauty is that cells can be cryopreserved, put in liquid nitrogen, and they can be available decades later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and they can still have value many decades later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m with you guys." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s one of the great resources and the opportunity to collect and process and bank is a great thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "More importantly is every placenta, even if it s donated, can be the source of material to produce life-saving products like the ones we re talking about." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But to get back to the really the kind of the heart of what we re talking about today," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cellular immunotherapy as a way to treat and defeat viral infections" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I believe we are going to be able to demonstrate that this is a rational, logical way to go about supporting patients like COVID-19 patients." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hopefully, COVID-19 is a self-limited problem, and we ll be beyond this very shortly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But as Peter pointed out, if this is a practice pandemic, we need to have tools available instantly if this ever rears its ugly head again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and it may rear its ugly head as a reappearance of the same virus, as the appearance of a mutated version of the virus, or a brand new novel virus that may have worse characteristics than this one." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That being said, cellular immunotherapy, because" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "virtually all virally infected cells are targetable because they all express very similar molecules that make them visible to these natural killer cells might be the one size fits all approach to dealing with these types of pandemics." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have to do the work to prove it, but it s extremely promising, and we believe it s very much worthy of the work that s going on right now to create unequivocal data in support of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the silver lining in all of this is to see that the FDA and everyone is having to open up to new things, and it may speed up the capacity for cellular therapy to be really maximized, measured, and utilized, so we don t just prevent what happens in the future, but we continue to make people healthier along the way on the normal path of life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Tony, I think the three of us recognize that there s always a solution to a problem." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And rather than throw your hands up and surrender because the problem appears to be beyond our current capabilities, I believe we have to enlist the ingenuity and innovativeness and inventiveness of this great country to solve the problem." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re already seeing" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "that great innovations are putting a dent in this disease." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let me bring one thing up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hydroxychloroquine, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, let s face it, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A smart doctor who s very, very skilled in treating infectious diseases just was a good observer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, he recognized that this particular drug, which is a generic drug, it costs virtually nothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s been around for 50, 60 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s been used in tens of millions of people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It just turns out that it was effective in his observation at reducing the time these patients were sick and getting them off ventilators." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So he brought it up and he combined it with an antibiotic and the results appeared to be even better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, first and foremost," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That single observation at the early part of this crisis should have been celebrated, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it should not have been dismissed as, well, there s no double-blinded, placebo-controlled studies" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "that prove that it works." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen, here s the bottom line, okay?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That observation by itself could have been the source of a cooperative effort to tease out what was really at play here." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let me give you a couple of add-ons behind all this, all right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It turns out that go look at an international map of the incidence of COVID-19." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s very striking that in certain zones of the world, there s a very, very horrifically low incidence of the disease." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It just turns out that those are the malaria prone countries." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it just turns out that many people in those countries are on these medications chronically." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, that was a little data chunk, a little factoid that should have been stored away." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The other factoid was that people who have lupus, who get treated with hydroxychloroquine," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "appeared not to be getting the disease." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, you see, in the absence of the time and the resources to do a controlled, well-done, double-blinded study, in the absence of the time to do it, and this is an emergency, this isn t the regular world, you would have thought that people would have embraced this and would have worked together as a global community to put the data pieces together" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to support use." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, by the way, by the way, okay, although the drug wasn t approved for the treatment of COVID-19, and by the way, there wasn t any drug approved for COVID-19 because nobody knew what COVID-19 was, but the regulatory communities, they regulate approval of drugs." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They don t regulate the prescribing behavior of doctors." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They provide recommendations and guidelines and so on, but" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you know, doctors didn t go to medical school and years and years of training and study pharmacology and study physiology and biochemistry." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they all they have to do is read a recipe and deliver on that recipe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re there to make medical judgments." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when doctors started making medical judgments to use this, and they were coming away saying, you know what, I believe in, I ve listened to no, no less than a hundred doctors" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "who put this to use and will swear to it that it worked." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, what I worry about is by being less than inquisitive, supportive, and celebrating that early observation, did we dissuade people from using something that might have saved lives?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did we dissuade people from potentially finding a way to use it prophylactically?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, hydroxychloroquine in very low dose prophylactically appears to protect the people in these, in these regions where malaria is prevalent." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by the way, the doctors and healthcare workers on the front line, they really needed someone to find something that gave them an extra margin of protection." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So listen, I don t want to speculate as to what the underlying reason for that was, but I do think it was a disservice." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I do think that, you know, listen," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think our government has done a really, really remarkable job in all ways." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the fact that one person s opinion, because the public doesn t agree with the general principles or policies of the individual," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "they shouldn t be dismissive of something that could have been so impactful in a disease like this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s how I feel." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me add something onto that because it s, it s not just the hydroxychloroquine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, there s something going on that I think is important to note." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, for those of you looking for hope and optimism and all of this, let s take, let s take some hope and optimism from the following fact for the human race." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There has never been ever in recorded history," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a single enemy that the entire planet has taken aim at." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by my calculations, there s somewhere between 100 million and 200 million physicians, nurses, scientists, engineers, technicians, all laser-like focused on addressing the problem." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what we re seeing right now in week" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "whatever this is of the pandemic in the United States or in the world, if we look at China as day zero, which it may not have been, what we re seeing is only four months of experimental solutions coming to the market." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re seeing the early trickle of antivirals and therapeutics and diagnostics and new ideas." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we re not seeing is that in doctor s offices, in ERs, in science labs," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "thousands, probably tens of thousands around the world, people not asking for permission, but trying stuff, experimenting, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the way it s done." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what we humans do best." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve got amazing, you know, researchers in CRISPR Cas9, gene editing," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "technologies and gene therapies in across the board." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we re seeing is, I talk about the deceptive period of exponential growth and then the disruptive period, we re now seeing the deceptive period of solutions coming over the transom, like that one experiment that came out of France on the hydroxychloroquine and the Z-Pak coming together." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My guess is that we will see hundreds, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, how" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how much energy Bob and the entire science team at Cellulite have to put into the natural killer cells." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are hundreds and thousands, so hold hope that we are going to not only address this, we re going to crush this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree, I couldn t agree with you further." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, for those who don t know it, Peter is an MD besides being a rocket scientist and entrepreneur, everything else he is, he s also an MD as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, but the difference in both of these men is that they are so incredibly focused on finding solutions before the problem happens." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like you see somebody, you know, the old metaphor of a doctor is they work their tails off, they go to school, they go through all this process." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now they see somebody in the lake over here" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or in the river and they re screaming like they re, you know, they re dying and they jump in, they fight out, they save and pull them out, give them out, come out, save them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they get out and two more drop are now all of a sudden, they jump out and save the two." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the time they know it, by the time they save two, there s four, then there s eight." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t have time to go upstream and see who s throwing them in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these two men are going upstream and seeing who s throwing them in and saying, what do we do to deal with this way upstream instead of a reaction?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, listen, you play a video game against a child, they win." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not because they re smarter, quicker or faster." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because they played this game before." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re able to anticipate." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They know the road ahead." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what these two men are doing, incredible researchers and doctors and dear friends of mine, is they re on a cutting edge of what can make this happen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bob, is there anything we ve not covered that you want people to know about overall about COVID-19 and or just about cellular medicine, what s coming and what they should be aware of so that they can have not only feel more comfortable, but perhaps even more excited about the quality of life they can have long term based on the breakthroughs that are happening now, not 30 years from now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m convinced that the psychology of this crisis had a tremendous amount to do with the early panicked responses we ve seen, but I m actually getting the sense as I m looking around that people are beginning to realize, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "maybe this isn t nearly as horrific as we thought." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe now we need to concentrate on recovering and focusing and fueling efforts to come out of this better than before." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, you know, a couple of interesting examples." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Short-term pain often yields long-term gain." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And some of the gains we re going to have, I believe, will be in the understanding that infectious diseases, we shouldn t be treating them with antibiotics and antivirals that are custom designed for one pathogen or another." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We need to come up with a solution that across the board protects against infectious disease." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You already said it, Tony, and so did you, Peter." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s all about the immune system, okay?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There are people you know who never get sick, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They never get sick because they just happen to have, because of genetics or lifestyle or whatnot, they have an immune system that is on constant alert." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They have the best military, you know, on the planet when it comes to defending against pathogens and so on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s take advantage of this opportunity to better understand how cellular immunotherapy, something that s already revolutionized in the treatment of cancer, may change" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the shape and reshape how we treat infectious diseases in the future." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if that happens, we solve Peter s problem, which is preparedness for the next pandemic." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we also, we also will transform" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the tools doctors have that will keep people from ever having these massive super infections, resistant microorganisms." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve all heard of MRSA and things like that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if we come, I think we can come out of this better than when we entered into it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And look, I ve devoted 25 years of my life to cellular medicine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can tell you that these tools astound me every day." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re nature s repair kit, nature s toolkit, and we re going to deploy them." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re very grateful that the FDA has been working so hard to help groups like ours do the work and prove that these products are safe and effective." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m optimistic about where we re going to come out of this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Bob, let me just add, because it s important to note under your leadership," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cellularity has built what is the world-class manufacturing, the better part of $100 million, to be able to actually" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "take the placenta and take out the natural killer cells, the stem cells, create medicines and therapeutics out of that at scale, where you have the ability to produce what will be millions of doses that could be frozen on standby, both in the military or hospitals, wherever they re needed." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these actually, when they re frozen, can last decades." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a potential to be ready in the future" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think it s worth also mentioning, since the three of us are focused on this, that we ve been working on a program called Fountain and Fountain Life that will be a way that the" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "average consumer can get access to these stem cells." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know we have a number of Fountain Life friends and family who are going to be watching this and viewing this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s how do we deliver those stem cells that are the, you know, the original boot disc for the human body to be able to rejuvenate and revitalize our physiology." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want to mention that work a little bit." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I mean, we know that stem cells and cellular products can be used to restore the regenerative engine in an individual and allow them to respond to illness, disease, injury the way they did when they were young and youthful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m very excited, you know, Tony alluded to up front what cellular medicine can do for orthopedic, joint, and soft tissue injuries." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the world kind of knows that this is here and coming." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re still working through the process of getting these approaches" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "through the rigorous programs necessary to prove safety and efficacy and so on." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m, again, extremely optimistic that what we re going through today and what s happening around the world in treating patients with degenerative diseases and so on will change the tool set doctors have in the next generation, in the generation we ve just entered into, so that people actually live healthier, longer, and higher performance lives going forward." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do want to bring one thing up, because when you bring up the term stem cells, it s kind of the Wild West in the United States." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember, Bob, before I met you, there s all these different types of stem cells." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They wanted to take my own fatty tissue and convert it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then you gave me a quick education." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So before we go, since, you know, cellular therapy is so important, and there are some people that knowing the pandemic, or there s a solution for something as big as somebody in the hospital who s on a ventilator is available with NK cells." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and that it s going there, it d be nice for them to understand what s available now so they don t also get pulled into something that isn t effective." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You and I both know for elbows, shoulders, things like my entire rotator cuffs, I mean to have not three, six months and some people after three or six months, they still can t lift their shoulder above their arm." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for me to have perfect use, with the kind of demand you know I make, you know this, you ve seen the studies on my body, jumping a thousand times in a day, you know, in an audience of, you know, 12 hours, you know, burning, you know, 11,500 calories in a period of time of 12 hours." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve seen those studies and you ve seen the impact the stem cells have had, but can you take just one second before we go and give people an understanding of the different types of choices so they don t get pulled into fake science, because that s part of the problem." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some people hear stem cell," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They think it s the same as doing PRP or something else." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I understand the potency is different depending upon the source." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you touch on that just for a second?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we wrap up." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, Tony, I m very vested in the technology around stem cells that are recovered from the postpartum placenta because these cells are young, they ve gone through nature s quality control process, and they basically have the biological attributes necessary to restore the functionality." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have anti-inflammatory properties and pro-regenerative properties." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re working diligently to demonstrate that in a whole series of clinical indications." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "newborn derived cells have a lot of advantages over cells derived from an adult, such as from adipose tissue or from bone marrow or whatnot." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, and as I mentioned before, they re highly scalable." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can be produced so that they re off the shelf on demand, long shelf life products, one size fits all." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s, those are the kinds of cells I think people need to be looking for because they re, they re reliable." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, and we believe that," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately, people are going to want to go back and be treated more than once, and they re going to want to have the consistency of a pharmaceutical-like product." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that s the platform of technology that has the greatest merit." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are going to be people who want to go places where they can have their own adipose tissue removed and cells derived from that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of reports, and there s even some data supporting that that s useful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the end of the day," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Regenerative medicine using either cells or cell byproducts is coming into prime time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are going to have lots of choices in front of them." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to find places which are using cells produced under rigorous controls and quality standards, and you have to work with reputable groups that are either in an investigational stage of development or they re working in a jurisdiction where it s permitted." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because the problem is our stem cells in the average person drop off a cliff after about 30 as a percentage." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you re taking them from yourselves, you re not getting the same potency, obviously, than if you re taking brand new cells that are coming from the placenta as well." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s an important part to notice in terms of impact." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maya, before we leave you, Peter, any final thoughts?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want to bring it back to the key messages we have here." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For me, I think one of the things that people need more than ever is hope and optimism." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Open optimism because it s been hard for so many individuals who ve lost their jobs lost their savings back up in their companies and so forth open optimism comes on a couple points number one what we re seeing and believe and trending towards is that the." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "mortality rate is nowhere near as bad as predicted." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number two, we re going to see a tsunami of different solutions that are coming, antivirals, therapeutics, vaccines that are coming." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I run a global" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "prediction engine, and right now the prediction is that we ll see a vaccine before the end of the year, maybe mid-December." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That would be great, going into the next flu season, at least on the northern hemisphere." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other thing that s important is that" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, if you look at every economic crisis over time, there is a massive rebound." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ll see, you know, a lot of the companies that were just hanging on, employing people just barely, but not thriving." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re going to, as we see in every Darwinian evolution, they re going to die and go away." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But like we saw out of 2008, we saw WhatsApp and Venmo and Uber and Airbnb and the invention of massive amounts." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re at home and you re in this global quiet period," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "besides spending time meditating, eating right, sleeping well, exercising, which are things that you can do for immune system right now, gotta mention those." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is the time to be inventive, to be inventive about, you know, if you re an entrepreneur, how do I create digital businesses?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do I find problems out there?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because this last three months," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is going to accelerate the future." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What we ve been doing here digitally is going to bring us faster and faster in this decade ahead." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there are reasons for hope." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are reasons for optimism." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I see those all the time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I want to share that, Tony, with everyone here today and with you, Bob." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you, brother." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re brilliant." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you both." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re going through a bit of a winter, but winter is followed by spring and you can feel the beginnings of spring starting to crack as you start to see the numbers flatten and come down, a little less fear in people, people reevaluating, seeing real numbers and all these mass drive of solutions that are moving us forward." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let s bring forward together the opportunities are greater than they ve ever been in human history." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We keep our intelligence." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are a resilient species, no little floating through the air or something, and somebody sneezed on us, stop this, in a million years, and it s not going to happen now." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So let the fear aside, focus on the solutions." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you, Bob, for bringing forth some of the most important solutions, not just for COVID-19, but for we as a human race moving forward to have healthier, stronger, and more high-performance lives, ones we can really enjoy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not just length of life, but quality of life that self-therapy can make" }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "big difference for Peter." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for being my dear friend and partner." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless you all and we ll see you soon." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Live strong, live with passion, and God bless." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Take care, everybody." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See you soon." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Special thanks to Dr. Bob Hariri and Dr. Peter Diamandis." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The world is changing rapidly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With so much out of our control, focus on what you can control, your growth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony Robbins is in the business of breakthroughs, and they can come at any time, anywhere, even during difficult times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No matter where you are in the world, no matter how much time you have or don t have, you can still work on yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now is the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash growth resources for content apps and other resources to maintain your focus and sharpen your edge at home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash growth resources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To say that we are living in unique times is a massive understatement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While we ve seen tremendous change over the past 50 years, the level of fear and uncertainty we re currently witnessing is unprecedented." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And unlike other times in history when our world has experienced tragedy or massive uncertainty, this is the first time in history where social media has fueled the spread of headlines that are designed to scare us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The overabundance of information online and in the news, some accurate, some not," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "has allowed information to spread and flourish at higher speeds, creating an environment of heightened uncertainty that has fueled anxiety and fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In these times, we need to remember to think critically for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we don t, we re letting someone else dictate our focus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As Tony likes to quote his mentor, Jim Rohn, we need to stand guard at the door of our own minds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever information you re feeding your mind on a daily basis and you focus upon consistently, you re going to experience as being what life is really about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we don t discipline our fears and control our focus, the world will gladly do it for us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s your choice what to focus on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In today s episode, we re bringing you exclusive content from Tony, recorded years ago, that s part of his Power Talk series." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And while this was recorded some time ago, his message is timeless and extremely relevant in times like these." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I ve passionately pursued profound knowledge, those specific ideas, strategies, beliefs, and distinctions that empower us, once we really understand them, to immediately increase the quality of our lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in following this path, I ve had the privilege to meet, to interview, and many times become very good friends with some of the most successful people in our culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "From legends like international money manager John Templeton," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to some of the psychological and physiological masters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those people like Norman Cousins, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. Bernie Siegel, some of the emotional coaches that I ve met along the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People like Dr. Leo Biscaglia or Captain Jerry Coffey, the man who spent seven years in solitary confinement in Vietnam and how he managed himself and turned himself around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or whether it be the masters of business or movies or music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People like a Peter Guber." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These people never cease to amaze me with their ability" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "take a vision and make it real in spite of a lack of support from virtually everybody around them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one jumped to support Bernie Siegel when he started talking about what human emotions could do to change the immune system, or Norman Cousins for that matter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never ceased to be amazed how these individuals had the ability to hang on to their vision and continue to maintain their certainty in spite of an environment that doesn t support them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do they do this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because they have quality information and they trust their instincts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, in all my visits with these powerful men and women, I ve constantly asked myself, what are the common denominators of their success?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And while there are many things I could share with you that I ve noticed, and I hope that you ve noticed along the way, I think one stands clear above all the rest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These men and women all decided what they wanted their lives to be about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They created a vision and they never let the environment, other people s beliefs, or the limits of what had been done in the past shape their decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, if there s one clear avenue to lasting impact, it s to ignore conventional wisdom" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And know that as one Fortune 500 executive said, if it can be described, it can be done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yet, you know something, if you read a daily newspaper right now or you watch a television news show, you could easily be convinced by all the negative information and dispiriting stories that the philosophies that made these men and women successful were fads of a time that s really past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That today, such an approach would fall short." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It d be easy to buy into the philosophy and actually fall into the trap of feeling certain that the good times have really passed and the future is indeed bleak." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why would people begin to believe this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because hey, our experience of reality can be depicted in a simple formula I wrote down the other day in my journal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I times F equals PR." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Information times your focus equals your personal reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever information you re feeding your mind on a daily basis and you focus upon consistently, you re going to experience as being what life is really about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about the frame of reference that that creates for people in our society who are getting most of their information directly from a medium, which is not designing the best way to condition your mind to produce quality results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the challenge is that the average American now watches television seven hours a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the national average." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think of the quality of information that they re trying to build a quality life out of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve all heard the term, we ve heard it a million times, garbage in, garbage out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, if they re not sitting there in front of the television set, they get to read the newspaper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Papers have to generalize." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have to simplify." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In order to take something complex and make it understandable in a small amount of space, it s got to be generalized." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s got to be simplified." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Plus, we have to remember that news has to sell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is a business in this country." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as a result, what sells more?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Certainly pain-oriented news sells more because it s a necessity for us to know more about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was talking to economist Paul Pilser, the author of Unlimited Wealth, and Paul and I were chatting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, why is it that we have this unbelievably insane negative focus?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, well, there s a lot of possibilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we both talked about how moods in our country and around the world go through cycles like seasons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he said, you know, the other thing, Tony, is you got to realize that bad news sells." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, well, I ve heard people say that before, but how do you explain that to people?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, you know, I have a tough time with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, well, the reality is simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you and I are walking down the street here and we look at a newspaper and at the top of it, it says, this weekend s beautiful and sunny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We look at each other and smile and keep walking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Say, oh, that s great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we walk by and we see big storm coming, suddenly, guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We stop to read and buy the newspaper so we can understand more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it ties into something that you and I obviously understand, and that is that we ll do more as human beings to avoid pain than we ll ever do to gain pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so inherently, news organizations are not bad or wrong, they re only feeding the public what the public responds to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s our own challenge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the point of the matter is, if we don t consciously create a plan on how to feed our mind with information that can help us to make intelligent choices to increase the quality of our lives," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then we only have ourselves to blame." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the challenge, though, is it s so easy to get seduced because everywhere you turn these days, somebody s got a bleaker picture to paint for you about what our future is going to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got to remember that naysaying is not new." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As long as there have been people with visions, there have been dozens lined up to stifle them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care if it s somebody as far back as a Columbus or a Copernicus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, some of them just didn t want to stifle them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They wanted to kill them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they disagreed with their viewpoints and they felt strong enough about it, they were physically attacked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or some people just ridiculed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Somebody like Walt Disney." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s a guy who was told by virtually every person he spoke to that his idea was absolutely ridiculous, that no one would go for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, he was turned down by more than 302 bankers before he finally got someone to help him fund his vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Stop for a second and just imagine the loss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that millions of children and for that matter adults would have around the world if Disney had been a quote reasonable man and accepted other people s limiting views of his vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know Peter Guber is one of the people I respect most in the world and you know what he told me a long time ago about when he was first making the movie Rain Man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was told that you know no movie about some guy and his brother traveling across the country in a car is ever gonna make it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You gotta have action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact four directors including Steven Spielberg quit the project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many of them wanted to put all the sex and violence in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Peter said, absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a movie about a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about the human spirit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was totally unrelenting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He told everybody that it would win an Academy Award." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It won four." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, those who succeed are those who trust their instincts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, often the people that are bent on convincing you that you can t live your dream, they re really well-meaning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t want to see you get your hopes up only to see them dashed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After all, they re basing their views on reality, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The challenge is that a person s reality is completely controlled by the information that you have available to you and that you focus upon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yet those people who succeed in our society are those rare individuals who don t merely swallow the information that s fed to them, but instead they pursue quality information that will nourish their lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They learn to trust their instincts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, so often we hear we live in an information age, but it s not only the fact that information is available to us that shapes our lives, but which information we focus on, that s what determines how we feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and what we do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, when millions of people learned that Hong Kong would soon revert to Chinese rule, the majority of people began to focus on their potential for loss and what they do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They began to flee, and they took all their capital with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By contrast, John Templeton had the same information, except he decided to focus instead on what was the potential for profit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He began to ask what companies the Chinese would need regardless of the environment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what he did?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He bought stocks from all the fleeing masses for pennies of their true value." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What everyone else perceived to be a bad time, he perceived to be a phenomenally good time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a time of tremendous opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When all of a sudden people stopped fleeing and they began to think, well, maybe this is going to work out OK, and they started buying stocks again, sure enough, the emotional pendulum flew back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of a sudden, people became extremely optimistic again, and John and his clients were rewarded for their immensely profitable decisions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t go with the flow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They saw crisis as opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, in Chinese, you may know, the word crisis is composed of two characters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of those represents danger, and the other one represents opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are two paths, that of following the crowd, which clearly leads to destruction, pain, frustration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Standard education clearly gets the standard results." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thinking like the masses is a great way to make sure you never live your dream." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those who have the ability to go against the crowd, go against the general flow, are the people we often see as the geniuses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, whether it s the Columbus or the Copernicus or the Templetons or the Goobers, these are people that go completely against what others have thought and that s why they ve succeeded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Success is found in that hidden area that most people won t question, they won t look at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only way to change the quality of our lives then is to be willing to put ourselves out there and do something different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But why is this so difficult for us?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, some people are always talking about how they re doing things different, but they re not really doing things different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re doing things like all their friends who are trying to do things different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re modeling their friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not really going with what they believe is right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not trusting their instincts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of the challenges and one of the reasons is we live in a society with so much uncertainty right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s increasing every day because, again, what s the information that s being fed to everyone?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are they constantly focusing on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things that make them uncertain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re looking to the past for answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the present is very different than the way it was in the past." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are not sure what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is a psychological principle that unless you understand it, you will be controlled by it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that principle of human influence is known as social proof." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Social proof is the single most potent way of influencing human behavior cross-culturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care if you re talking about in China, if you re talking about somebody who s living in the rainforest, or if you re talking to somebody living in LA, they all are influenced by social proof." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Social proof simply means that when human beings are not sure, when they re uncertain about what should be done or what something means," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They inevitably look to others to see how to feel and what to do about certain situations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s part of how we always learn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve learned by modeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The belief behind social proof is that if enough people believe something, or if enough people do something, then it must be right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no greater lie was ever told." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many things can you think of that lots of people used to promote and do that you can see now are destructive?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, listen, one out of every three people in our country die of cancer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re now saying that 80% of all cancer is directly related to lifestyle, 80%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One out of every two Americans dies of heart disease." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Certainly what the masses are doing in terms of how they re eating and how they re thinking and how they re approaching health does not work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are just the top two diseases, 4,000 people dying a day of those two diseases alone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just imagine that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just heard Tony say, by taking control of the information that comes into your mind, you can improve your health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Prioritizing your health is extremely important, especially in times like these." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not only do you want to be able to perform at your peak, but you want to stay healthy for your loved ones, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Health is extremely important to Tony." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, staying in great health is what has allowed him to be a peak performer throughout his life and show up for his loved ones each and every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you, too, can get the same high-quality, powerful, immune-boosting supplements that Tony uses every day to keep your health at its peak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Visit TonyRobbins.com slash immunity to order Tony Robbins ImmunoBoost C," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a daily immune support." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash immunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you were growing up, did people tell you, was it social proof that everybody smoked cigarettes to be cool?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know now how stupid it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But back then, you did what the crowd did, or did you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you were unique." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s why you and I are listening to this together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we ve always been this way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe you drank, or back in the 60s when everybody did drugs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The psychology of the crowd is one of fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a group of people who are running around trying to find some way to get out of pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want a simple solution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something that may not even be the real solution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re looking for the source of the pain and they want to eliminate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re looking for somebody to blame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re looking for an enemy to distract themselves from the fact that they don t have control of their own lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you don t ever want to get swept up in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so hard not to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we re inundated with this information." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s everywhere you turn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s on the radio." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in the newspaper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s online." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless you say, I must guard my mind, this kind of information that can do nothing but destabilize you, make you uncertain, potentially create a sense of foreboding or fear, is going to be a part of your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what, if you manage to keep all the information out and you keep yourself in a good state, people around you, the crowd wants to push you into their way of thinking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like when they see somebody is thinking in a different way or a unique way, there must be something wrong with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like they must be eradicated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve seen this all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Human beings seem to have this upset with people that are different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess some people are afraid that if somebody else is different and they re happy, that maybe that makes them question whether or not they re doing the right thing in their lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to allow that to happen to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know when I was growing up, I was always so different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember years ago when I was going back to my high school reunion, and on my way going up there, I literally regressed back to high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like emotionally like I was back then, with a lack of confidence like I d not had in years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was feeling kind of down, almost to the level of depressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, this is ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going on with me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I began to realize it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as I was driving up there, I decided to call my mom up on the phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, hey, mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, I m going up for my high school reunion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, oh, my gosh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even believe it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she says, boy, does time fly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she must have sent something in my voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, honey, she said, I don t know what you re thinking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, but I know one thing s for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were very different back then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were different than the rest of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You weren t accepted by them all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, but look what being different has gotten you in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, wow, mom sure had the right advice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next time you got a problem, call mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, that was brilliant input." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Brilliant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started looking around saying, look at my life now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I can t walk down the street anywhere in this nation without getting a chance to meet friends, people maybe I ve never even met before and have gotten great value for their life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I get this unbelievable reinforcement all because I was different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can tell you, if you look at these people, whether it be a Paul Pilzer or whether it be a Peter Guber, these people are different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not like everybody else you re gonna meet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why they re successful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your goal should be to be different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, not just to be a rebel, that is to try and do the opposite of everybody else just because you think by being opposite, you ll be more successful or more unique." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t be what the crowd wants you to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t bend just because everyone else around you wants to remake you in their mold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Realize that if you have a vision, that vision needs to be brought to reality and you re the source and that vision will only be brought to reality if you can continually focus on solution and not problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Continually focus on the value you plan on adding versus all the fear and the challenge and distortion that will be surrounding you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remember that what the majority is doing is not necessarily the most effective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even Thomas Jefferson talked about the tyranny of the majority, that we have to be very careful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because the majority of people think something or believe something does not mean it is best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people say, well, I don t go with the crowd." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m much smarter than that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only do what experts tell me to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, listen, experts are a crowd too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re often educated in the same way through some of the same systems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So of course they re going to come up with the same answer, the same results." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How about the medical profession?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great people, phenomenal people who busted their tail their whole life to try to help individuals, but they ve all been educated by the same system." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And obviously, it s not working too well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One one out of three are dying of one disease and one out of two out of another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They haven t been educated on how to make a difference there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are degenerative diseases." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their focus is on how to solve a problem once it occurs, not to keep the problem from happening, which is what we have to do to be successful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plus some of the solutions that they ve been given, they ve been taught to give." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t have time to test and understand every single drug." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Experts told them this was the best drug for the job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look at those things that we ve accepted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the most common drugs given to mothers, pregnant mothers, was" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Addictin designed to take care of the morning sickness and yet the reality is children started turning up with physical abnormalities Women started developing all kinds of physical challenges and all of a sudden after years of saying this was the ideal drug It was pulled back" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot trust because an expert has told us something that it is right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to make sure we do our best to do our own research, to see if something makes sense to us, to see what the upside or downside is, to get more information rather than just knowing that because everybody else is doing it, it must be okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, this doesn t mean the expert is trying to mislead you or that they re not educated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just means the more important your decision is, the more educated you should be, the more information you have to be able to make conscious decisions for yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is critical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, this means any kind of expertise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I tell you something, you need to say, does this make sense to me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does this jive with the information I have?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I use this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me see what kind of results I get from it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Judge by that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t just go with the flow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a huge price for going with the flow, and the price is pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Throughout human history, when people are not sure what to do, they look to somebody who seems to be certain, but because they re certain doesn t mean they re right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People can be certain and be wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can be sincerely wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to get hooked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to make sure you re educated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, remember, the more important a decision is, the greater the potential consequences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more you must consciously know and understand, the more information you need to make intelligent decisions that can shape your life for the positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we ve got to make sure that we constantly pursue the best information we can receive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The information we have and the information we focus upon determines how we think, how we feel, and what we do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are five information challenges that could show up in your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me just point them out to you so you can become sensitive to them and you don t fall into the trap that I think so many of us have fallen into in the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, remember, information is worthless without a purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, there s all kinds of information around you all the time, but if you don t have a reason to use it, you won t even notice it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, there s a part of our brain called the reticular activating system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The RAS as it s described by experts, and it s a lot easier to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That part of your brain, the RAS, is constantly determining what information that you re receiving from the world is significant enough for you to notice and to evaluate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, right now, as you re listening to my voice, you might be in your car." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many things could you be noticing inside the car, inside your body?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your heart beating really fast, the blood rushing from one section to another, certain pressure on different parts of your body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could also be noticing things outside, like the person in front of you, which I hope a part of you is paying attention to right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re at home, you could be looking at different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could be hearing different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could be smelling different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much information available." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But your RAS," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "determines what is significant enough for you to evaluate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If suddenly in your car someone started coming from the other side of the road over, your brain says that s significant and you d have to figure a way to respond quickly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem is if your RIS isn t sensitized to notice certain things, it just goes by because your brain can only focus on so many things consciously at a time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whenever you make it clear to your brain that something is important, it s significant, it has a purpose in your life, then you start noticing it everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The classic example that I ve given so many times is when you suddenly buy a new car or you buy a new outfit and then all of a sudden what happens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere you turn you see this car all of a sudden." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere you turn you see an outfit like this outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happened?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those cars were always around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those outfits were always around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But by letting your brain know this is significant, now anytime that information is nearby, your brain becomes consciously aware of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what happens when you set a goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you tell your brain, this is what s really important to me, you start noticing anything that can get you to that goal more quickly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to constantly ask yourself, what s your purpose?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to accomplish in your business, in your life, in your relationships?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you get real clear about what you value most, about what your goals are, suddenly information you weren t noticing at all, information that could immediately empower you, just jumps out at you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how I read books." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I go into a book, I ask myself, what do I want from this book?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is this book about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the potential answers in this book?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s my purpose in reading it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I scream through it and ideas jump out at me and then I m able to use those and share them with other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So remember, you re not going to use your information unless you re clear on your purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Information without a purpose is worthless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get clear on the purposes of your life physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, in relationships and finance and business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Know what s most important, the information will show up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second challenge that we experience in an information age is that with all the information around you, you could still have an information deficit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is, you could be in a situation where you don t know enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people are so frustrated with the flow of information, the massive amount of information that comes across their desk or into their mailbox or into their life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that they ve given up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people have rationalized it by saying, you know, ignorance is bliss." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance is not bliss." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance is pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance is poverty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ignorance means frustration." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care whether it be in the financial world or in the relationship world or in the parenting world or in business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you don t know will hurt you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to make sure that you get the information you need in order to be effective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not enough just to be confident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to be competent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that means having a strategic plan on how to get a hold of any information you might need to be effective in a given situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just as one piece of information could totally increase the quality of your life, the lack of one piece of information could cost you a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know in my businesses, with all the people that we have involved, I ve had times where one or two decisions by an individual who wasn t completely informed" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have cost us tens of thousands, in some cases hundreds of thousands of dollars." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to make sure that when we go into something that is important, that is significant, that we make certain that we have all the primary information we need to make intelligent decisions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, this information deficit can show up in a way that screws up personal relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you ever found yourself like forming an opinion or maybe even getting mad about something and then later on you find out you didn t even have all the information and you felt stupid about it, you felt bad about getting upset in the first place?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I ve done it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The bottom line is you re operating out of an information deficit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s not a deficit of information but a deficit of quality information or a deficit of relevant information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we ve got so much information we don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once again, the more clear you are about what you re trying to accomplish, what your purpose or what your goal is, the better you can define what information you need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, don t assume you have all the information you need because you ve done something successfully in the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re living in a time where change is happening so rapidly that information that you had that worked in the past may not work today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make sure you re up to date." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course, the best way to do this, the best way to make sure you don t have an information deficit is find someone who s getting the results you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sit down with them, tell them what you know, and ask them what you don t know that you need to know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m going to go take a trip, and I m going to go down some river, and I know that there are rocky rapids along the way, I want to take an experienced person with me to point the way, or I at least want to get them to draw me a map." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, to have them to tell me, hey, you ve been through this before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is it I don t know that if I knew my trip would be a lot smoother, and I could probably get there quicker, or I could enjoy the ride a lot more?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "third major challenge with information I call information pollution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I mean by that is, well, let me give you a classic example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In several different newspapers and magazines, there was this article about how this new study had been done that said, hooray, guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eating chocolate can actually reduce cavities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, this was not in the National Enquirer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people are like getting excited about the possibility of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, a few days later in the Wall Street Journal, they came out and described who had sponsored the study." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was one of the largest chocolate manufacturers in our country." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, the bottom line is that company said, oh, they weren t just trying to support the organization of the study." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They weren t trying to influence it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not too hard to figure out that there might be a little influence there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So information pollution, by my definition, it occurs any time someone is giving you information that clearly have secondary gain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve got a limited amount of information or information that s slanted or inaccurate, you ve got to remember that it s still going to shape your reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still going to make decisions based upon the information you have as long as you think it s accurate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make sure you don t allow yourself to be polluted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same conversation when it comes to our health." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If someone tells you something, make sure you ask yourself the question, do they have a potential secondary gain?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t mean they re trying to mislead you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could their own needs, their own desires, either to make a difference or to produce a quality product or to profit, could it be polluting their view and therefore polluting mine?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s another source of information?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, the key to all of this" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is whenever the decision you re going to make is critical, it s going to affect your health, your relationship, your business, you probably want to work hard to make sure you have no polluted information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime you re going to make decisions about how to feel about a friend, somebody tells you, hey, this person here is treating people really harshly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t just buy into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be an opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be a distortion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be a generalization." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be information pollution that s going to affect the way you think about this person in the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop and ask yourself, is there some other possible explanation here?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where can I get other information?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, remember, somebody who may be giving the information may have totally positive intent, but they may not know what they re talking about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They may be sincere and yet be sincerely wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are those, as they talk about in government, who put out what they call disinformation campaigns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those people out there who are deliberately trying to give you information that s not accurate so that you ll shape your decisions in a way that benefits" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remember, the cheapest commodity on earth is advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can get it from anybody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So make sure if you re going to get advice, get it from somebody who s producing results, somebody who s already getting the results that you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re the ones who can tell you what works and doesn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t go to somebody who s never built a business and have them tell you what s a good business to be in or not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I read an article in one of our national newspapers and the article was very, very critical of business people in our culture, specifically some Fortune 500 CEOs and how they re just not doing the job and that s why these companies are having to lay people off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s really easy to criticize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very interesting to see if those same people that are writing these articles might get out there and try to do it themselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might find it s a little easier for them to criticize than to actually produce the result they re talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve even seen some articles where some business deans were criticizing some CEOs of Fortune 500 companies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you look at these business deans backgrounds, and in two of the three cases, they ve never even been involved in any business in their lifetime, much less a billion-dollar business like the ones that they were criticizing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, you gotta be careful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once you know your purpose, once you know what result you wanna produce, go to people that are currently producing results, the results you re after." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know your purpose, they can help guide you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can let you know, do you have an information deficit?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What else do you need to know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can help you to know, hey, what you ve heard about this is garbage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done it, I can tell you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people who have tremendous expertise in a particular area and who are producing results consistently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s our goal, to hear from these people, the information, the ideas and strategies they believe will make a difference because it s proven." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fourth challenge with information is obvious, information overload." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being in this information age, we ve got to learn to break through and find out what information is really relevant to what we want personally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to finally say two things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One, what is the best source of my information?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two, what information do I specifically need to get a hold of?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And three, what s the timeline for this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could gather information for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a timeline where I ll have to have gathered enough information that I ve got to make a decision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when that time comes, make your decision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And finally, five, remember, with information, whatever you feed on consistently will shape your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you constantly feed yourself with information about how terrible the economy is, you re going to feel overwhelmed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you constantly feed yourself with examples, stories, people you seek out who are doing well at any time, then pretty soon you re going to start to feel that same sense of certainty that will empower you to find a way to take your business, your career, your personal life, your relationship to the next level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a common theme here, and I ve been talking real fast because I m pretty excited about this issue, in case you haven t noticed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My excitement about this issue is that I look around and I see so many people have given up their dream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people are letting their life become like the masses, and my message here is don t let that happen to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take control of the information that comes into your mind, select that information, have a plan for that information, and get it from sources that do produce results." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve said this again and again because repetition s the mother of skill." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is a collection of interviews and stories and is produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the system that Tony personally developed to make a plan for his life and create his $6 billion business empire, write bestselling books, travel the world for his events, and still have the time and energy to spend quality time with the people he loves most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a special offer for podcast listeners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash RPM and use the promo code POD20 to receive $20 off the rapid planning method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash RPM." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The discount code is POD20." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Women s History Month is the time where we celebrate the tremendous contributions that women all over the world have made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in today s episode, we re bringing you an interview with one woman who has changed history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her name is Sarah Blakely, and Tony had the pleasure of speaking with her at his recent Business Mastery event in Palm Beach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s the founder of shapewear company Spanx." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in 2012, at just 41 years old, she became the first female in the world to become a billionaire on her own without the help of an inheritance or a spouse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve probably heard a lot about Sarah s story, because it s an incredible story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She went from failing the LSAT, to being a greeter at Disney World, to selling fax machines door-to-door, to turning $5,000 of her own savings into a billion-dollar empire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what you may not have heard before is everything in between, the exact steps she took to get her business off the ground, how she s overcome negative self-talk and limiting beliefs by doing the deep emotional work that many people unfortunately neglect, and how honoring both her feminine and masculine energies and finding the balance between them has been a key to her success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And beyond her extraordinary accomplishments, Sarah is an extraordinary person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s authentic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She isn t afraid to fail, to embarrass herself, or to be vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s the first one to admit that she had no idea what she was doing when she started Spanx." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But instead, she had an insatiable determination to improve the way that women feel in their clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And most importantly, she s grateful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She hasn t lost sight that she was born in the right country at the right time and the fact that there are millions of women around the world who are not dealt the same deck of cards upon their birth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because of that, she invests heavily in women through her foundation and through the Giving Pledge, a commitment by the world s wealthiest individuals and families to dedicate the majority of their wealth to giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah says this in her pledge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I pledge to invested women because I believe it offers one of the greatest returns on investment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While many of the world s natural resources are being depleted, one is waiting to be unleashed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Women." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Tony and Sarah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, you are a legend, and you re one of the most beautiful, humble human beings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have such a beautiful heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got the chance to meet your husband, and we understand you re both forces of nature, mother of four." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But let s start back with the journey, because not everybody knows how this all came about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know everybody knows, you know, you started with $5,000, Disney, Greeter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were selling fax machines, as I understand as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you do that to build spanks?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us a little of the story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, if you would, I heard you said that it actually may have started when you were 16." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I will." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you call me a legend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I gotta say, I ve been listening to Tony Robbins for decades." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like decades." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is like so amazing to be sitting here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve been in my car forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": null, "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, when it was cassette tapes, you know, and then I went to DVD and I ve been through the whole journey with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now I stream you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We actually met the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Warren Buffett is one of your biggest fans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were on the Today Show very briefly, and Warren Buffett, we were talking backstage, and he goes, this is why America is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Sarah is an example of the greatness of America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Somebody could start from anything and build something and change it, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So tell us a little bit of how this came about, if you would." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, well, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, my journey to becoming an entrepreneur, a lot of people talk about the soundbite in the media for 20 years has been, Sarah cut the feet out of her pantyhose, and then Spanx is here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it always starts way before that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And a little bit about my background is I grew up wanting to be a lawyer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My father was a trial attorney, and I used to beg him to get out of school to watch his closing arguments when I was growing up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m a really bad test taker, and I basically bombed the LSAT." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, not once, but twice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, I had thought my whole life, you know, I debated in high school, I debated in college, my major was legal communications, and then I literally bombed the LSAT." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And at that point in time, I was devastated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then I did the next logical thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When I realized I wasn t going to be able to go to law school, I drove to Disney World and tried out to be goofy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Logically, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you have to be 5 8 in order to be goofy, and I m only 5 6, so I am the perfect height of a chipmunk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I worked at ZZ World for three months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that wasn t, didn t feel like my life calling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I then, fortunately, and then I got a job selling fax machines door to door." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I did that for seven years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was the only job basically other than Disney that I really ever had until I started Spanx." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I, you know, cold calling is tough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, I did it for seven years, 100% cold calling, no leads, four zip codes in Clearwater, Florida, selling fax machines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And one particular day, yeah, for all you cold callers, I bow to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it s like, that is really, really, like, really good life training." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One particular day, I just was so upset, I pulled off the side of the road, and I literally said, I m in the wrong movie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, call the director, call the writer, cut." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is not my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I went home that night to my apartment and I wrote down in my journal, what are you good at, Sarah?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are you good at?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I made a weaknesses and a strengths column." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in the" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the strength column, I wrote sales." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was like, I know I m good at sales." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why am I good at sales?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, I m good at sales because I really like offering something to someone that they need or that might help them or might improve their life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so in that moment, I wrote down in my journal, I m going to invent something that I can sell to millions of people that will make them feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How awesome is that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you made the decision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I made the decision and I wrote it down because I was like... And you didn t know what it was yet?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just decided, what are we talking about this week, guys?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make, decide the outcome, you don t know the why, you know the why, you don t know the how, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The tyranny of how." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s exactly what she did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I knew nothing except for that I was good at sales and I didn t want to sell someone else s product." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought that would be the ultimate if I could just come up with my own product and sell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wouldn t that be amazing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if it could help people or make them feel good, that would be even better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I wrote that in my journal, and then I had no idea what it was going to be, Tony, but I looked up and I said out loud, universe, please give me the idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was very specific." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I asked for it and I said, if you give me the idea, I will not squander it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for two years later, I was still selling fax machines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I cut the feed out of control top pantyhose one night to wear under my white pants to go to a party in Atlanta where I was living at the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I came home that night and I was like, this might be my idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It helped, it smoothed things out, it was a better undergarment than what I could find." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And because I had set that intention two years prior, I think that is the main reason why I m sitting on this couch and not the other millions of women who had been cutting the feet out of their pantyhose to solve an undergarment issue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because women come up to me all the time and they re like, I thought of that, I did that at home too to solve that problem, but why didn t I create Spanx?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t usually have the time to tell them that I ve been working on manifesting and visualization and setting intentions for so long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Anyway, so that s kind of what brought me to that moment, but I was really searching and wanting that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wanted a different life for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so beautiful, because so many people have ideas, and ideas are a dime a dozen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As you said, I always talk to people, it s like, it s not even the knowledge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Knowledge isn t the power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s execution that trumps knowledge every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you got yourself to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, when you were 16, how did that relate?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Am I missing the timing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I like to say that Spanx really started when I was 16 years old because two things happened that were really sort of very difficult for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One is I was riding bikes with one of my really close friends and she was run over and killed by a car in front of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then very shortly after that, my parents separated and my dad left home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when my dad left home," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He walked into my bedroom and he said, sweetie, I wish I was your age when I discovered this instead of the age of 40." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he handed me Wayne Dyer s cassette tape series, How to be a No Limit Person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How to be a what person?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How to be a No Limit Person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No Limit Person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, I think with every tragedy or every difficult obstacle, there s always a hidden blessing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There just always is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for me," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, I was 16." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think most 16-year-olds would have chucked that in the bottom of my closet and been like, eh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because I was hurting so badly, I was open and I was ready and I was needing something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I put the cassette tapes in and I started listening to them so much that I memorized all 12 tapes front and back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started crying in my bedroom and I thought," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have just spent 16 years in school being taught what to think, but nobody has ever taught me how to think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had this epiphany of, wait, I can control the way that I think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might be able to work on my mindset in a way that when something happens to me," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can think about it in a way that s either going to propel me forward or hold me back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s my choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I became a lifelong student of it because it wasn t taught in school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what led me to you and Brian Tracy and Zig Ziglar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, anybody I could get my hands on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was selling fax machines, so I was in my car for seven years, basically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I literally took, like, all your courses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m like, you know, so that was really helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was actually funny, because in high school, no one ever wanted to be stuck in my car, especially after a party, because they re like, she s going to make you listen to that stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then totally, like, fast forward." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think 15, 20 years, I end up on the cover of Forbes and all the people from my high school texted me and they were like, damn, should have listened to that shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got several things flashing through my head at once, but one s popping in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to hear, I know your father from what I ve read and I think from the time we talked the very first time, one of the things that came up, I forgot the question I asked you, but you mentioned that your father trained you to deal with failure, like to go out and try to fail and rewarded for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At the dinner table, if I remember right, you said that he would ask you what you failed at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to hear about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But something about the manager doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I was also driven similar to you in different ways, listening and so forth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I noticed that for your husband, death is a coach." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there s a timeline here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just heard death being an instrument for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not only death of your friend, but also kind of the death of a certain life, a way you had life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that a driving force?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know it has been for me unconsciously to squeeze every moment out of this life, because you never know when you re going to go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I listen to Jesse talk about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How much does that play a role with you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just curious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or did it play a role to initiate you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it plays a really big role in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to embrace my own mortality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to think about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t really scare me, it s just something that I think about often." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it fuels me, like, that this is temporary, that I have one shot at life, that this is not a dress rehearsal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It also puts things in perspective, you know, for me, if I get really scared, I m like, I m gonna be dead one day, like, no one s really gonna even, like, I ll just, it just humanizes and makes things feel not as significant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You face it rather than let some people keep it behind them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you ve used it for urgency." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, I think at 16, a lot of us go through this natural kind of, hopefully, you know, facing our own mortality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you go through the natural progression, maybe in your 50s, 60s, you might lose a parent, or maybe you ve lost a grandparent before that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That feels a little more like on plan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re 16 years old, and you re talking to your friend about high school stuff, and then the next minute she s run over by a car," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was intense, and it really put a mirror up of like, whoa, wait, this is really now, and that s all you have, is this moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That sense of urgency, that sense of hunger that doesn t go away is something that I found is the most common denominator for the most successful people I ve ever known." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Intelligence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love, look at the intelligent people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re obviously wickedly smart and so is your husband, but there are a lot of people wickedly smart that never maximize because they don t have that sense of urgency or a sense of a purpose or a meaning larger than themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me a little bit about, because I also work door-to-door sales." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know that about you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me what you got out of door-to-door sales that became, helped you to succeed in business if something did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what were some of the distinctions or experiences that helped to make you successful as a business person, as an entrepreneur?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, first of all, it s super humbling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really intense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I said, I did it for seven years in a company." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in an office equipment company where most people, you know, kind of rotated out every four to six months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the things that it taught me, it taught me the importance of differentiating myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It taught me about what s in it for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We talk about it, W-I-I-F-M." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That when you get a moment with someone, they re looking for the what s in it for them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I learned I need to deliver that in my message very quickly or I lose them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it wasn t like, hey, I m selling a fax machine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, hey, I really believe I can improve your life and improve the quality of what you re doing because a business just like yours, you know, I made it about them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as soon as you can give them the benefit, do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used humor and the importance of humor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you continue to do that as part of your marketing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, just not taking myself too seriously and being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when you re vulnerable, oftentimes life will surprise you and people will be much kinder to you and much more willing to give you a few moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of people think of vulnerability as weakness, and I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree with you 100%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a big strength." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sometimes I would walk in a door and be like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, okay, I just messed up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I redo that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and I d walk out and come back in and they d be like, what s going on with this girl, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was always kind of calling out my own, like, I m really nervous right now or, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Authentic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my 15th call and it s really hot outside and, you know, do you mind if I get a sip of water and, you know, things like that that would help open the door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and then when you re doing this really intense selling, all day, every day, cold, you learn that there s about four different personality types that you re selling to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are they?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one is always gonna click with you because it s your personality type." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you wanna improve your closing ratio, you gotta kind of figure out the other three types." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re called lots of different things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was in sales and really training it also, we called them socializers, relators, directors, and thinkers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for example, I m more of a socializer director, and selling to a thinker was my hardest sale." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because thinkers want every piece of data and information, whether they re going to use it or not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, this is a waste of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I kept losing sales to thinkers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then finally, I was like, I got to talk to them the way they want to be talked to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s every detail, and here it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "projecting my style that I liked on them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many of you know the disc model." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve used the disc model." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The S and the C would be more the thinker, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The director would be the D. The I would be that social person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can translate, many of you, based on something you already understand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but the inability to adapt makes people fail, and so you learned, you kept adapting, seven years of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me about the role your father s played in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You told us one of the most important ones, how he got you to realize you could control and direct your own thinking, but let s talk about the failure thing you shared with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that accurate?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is my memory accurate?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, that is accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad, growing up, would actually encourage me to fail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would come home from school, and he would say to my brother and me, so what d you guys fail at this week?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I didn t have something, he would actually be disappointed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it flipped the whole model on its head, and I would come home from school, and I can remember, I d be like, Dad, Dad, I tried out for this, and I was horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he d be like, way to go, and he d high-five me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t realize it at the time, but he was just changing my definition of failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My definition of failure became not about the outcome, but about not trying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for me, going through life, my only failures are when I didn t try it because I was scared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my dad even took it a step further." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He would ask us what we got, what the benefit or what positive came from it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we could get the dinner table and I d be like, you know, I failed at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tried out for cheerleading and I was horrible or I had tried for chorus, I couldn t sing at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then he d always go, well, what positive came from it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it trained our brains also to find that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it became like, of course I want to try these things because... It s all learning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, you re not so focused on the outcome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I met my best friend in cheerleading tryouts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Had I not done that, you know, so you see these moments of that, what you get out of it too, that was really cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How incredible for all of us as a parent to be able to deliver that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve shared with some of you," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the greatest basketball coach of all time from UCLA, John Wooden, when I interviewed him and asked him, you know, what was the best team that you had?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He won 10 out of 12 national championships, and they were all new players." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you know basketball history, almost everybody knows the best team." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, a group of people, and he didn t name that team." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he named a team I d never heard of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, why were they the best?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, because they maximized their potential." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, the other guys had more talent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he also teaches players." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, I didn t want to teach them to play the game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanted them to play great human beings." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so his goal was, he said, you never know the score." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You never know whether you won or lost by the score." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because sometimes you ll get lucky." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes the ball will drop for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you ll get a good call." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some will go your way and you ll have a higher score, but you didn t really win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes somebody else s higher score, they got lucky or they got a bad call against you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, the only way you know you won is you left everything on that floor every moment you were there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You gave your all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, then you know whether you won or lost and you re in control of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And your father taught you to come up with meanings in such a beautiful way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What an amazing, is he still alive today?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my gosh, he must be so proud of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s very proud of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we honor your dad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, and my mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom was amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us about your mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom is an artist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was a stay-at-home mother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s very shy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s just very creative." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was an interesting balance, the two of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a trial attorney that was a litigator that I basically was on the witness stand since birth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had to learn to be quick on my feet, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then my mom was just this most unbelievable nurturer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, just, you know, she was the, like, warm blanket through the whole thing, like, who I could lean on at any moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, you know, I want to talk briefly about failure a little bit more, because you talk about it so much, and in all the years that I ve been listening to you, too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I like to think about, because you mentioned this, that it s the number one fear, is fear of failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I like to take things a step further." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m always like, why, why, why, why, why, till I get to the very last why I can get, because that s really where the truth always is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so why is our, as human beings, the biggest fear failure?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s because we don t want to be embarrassed, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s really ultimately fear of embarrassment, which then led me to fear of what other people think of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is the real root of the issue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that is where I spend a lot of time working myself, too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been a student of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Since I m 16, I ve been working on not caring what other people think about me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it took me a minute, but I realized that not caring what other people think about me doesn t have to mean I don t care about them, which is a big, important thing to recognize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I will practice embarrassing myself, Tony." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I intentionally embarrass myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I ll randomly just start singing in an elevator." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s super embarrassing and everyone looks at me like I m crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will feel if it s been too long since I ve been really mortally embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I will do it because..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re seeking it, it loses its power over you, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then all of a sudden, it s like, well, being embarrassed is the goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I also realized by being embarrassed over and over again, it makes a great story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, a lot of people will get embarrassed and then the worst thing to do is be like, I hope no one saw that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope, you know, I never want to talk about that again or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, hey guys, you re not going to believe what happened to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I realize it s one of the best ways to connect with other humans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re gifts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, every time I m embarrassed, it s such a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What can I do with that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How important would you say psychology has been in this woman s path?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Strong psychology, mindset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s kind of everything, Tony, because I ve never taken a business class in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had no contacts in the industry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I took on billion-dollar companies with $5,000." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would say mindset s pretty much it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I m really touched by is you ve not stopped growing, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your company has stopped growing over 20 years, you continue to grow, but you keep growing, you keep growing, and she keeps conditioning and training, like the training never stops in her mindset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She could easily say, well, I ve done these pieces, I know what to do, but you continue to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plus, what the beautiful thing is, it breaks down barriers, because most people would be intimidated if they think you re some way, and when you can just be natural and open, and you share something you re truly embarrassed by, it certainly opens the door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just thought of a really embarrassing moment in my business journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I share it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure, please." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was first starting Spanx, I had cold-called all the department stores and been on some media here, and I decided to go over to the UK and try to launch Spanx there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I got this moment where I got a chance to be on the BBC, and it s obviously kind of like Europe s CNN, and the guy interviewing me was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Sarah, tell us what Spanx can do for women in the UK." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, well, it s all about the fanny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It snooze your fanny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It lifts your fanny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had no idea, but apparently fanny means vagina in England." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I made the same mistake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, get off your fannies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got the worst." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No way, did you really?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, see, I don t even ever use the word fanny, but I thought it sounded very British, so I was like, it makes your fanny look smooth, and the guy, like, lost all the color in his face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was just like... I had to call back my team of two in my apartment in Atlanta, and I was like, our international expansion is off to a great start." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just told all of England I m a smoother vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Might have happened in Australia the first time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is so funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in Australia doing a seminar and I said, get up off your fannies and look at these legs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And finally somebody whispered in my ear what I meant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is hilarious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get up off your vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s basically what you said to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s hilarious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve never met anyone else that made that hilarious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We share embarrassing moments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So tell me, tell us a little bit about how, from the time you come up with the idea, fill in the blanks for us if you don t mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How did you go, because again, so many people have a great idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand why, because you declared you were queer, the sense of urgency, all those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But tell us some of the mechanics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You came up with the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you know anybody in the industry?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you start to go try to do a prototype and sell it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell us a little bit of the mechanics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I had no idea what to do next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started looking up manufacturers that made hosiery-type garments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and found them in North Carolina primarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started calling them on the phone and simultaneously I went to Hancock Fabrics and Michael s Drug Stores and was trying to hand make my own version of the prototype with like paper clips." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was really rough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at the same time I was trying to patent it and write my own patent and get that done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was kind of doing all of those and I was still working during the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I worked on Spanx at night and on the weekends for two years before quitting my job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yeah, so I mean, every step of the way, I mean, the manufacturers all hung up on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ended up taking a week off of work and driving there and going in person, because I had learned from cold calling that, you know, in person is a better shot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They still all turned me away, but a gentleman in Charlotte, North Carolina called me two weeks later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, quote, Sarah, I have decided to help make your crazy idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was that like for you, that moment?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I couldn t breathe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was just so excited because all I had been hearing was, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How long had you gotten the nose?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, on and off for a year, a little over a year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when I said to him, why the change of heart?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He simply said, I have three daughters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went, okay, and he goes, and your enthusiasm and your confidence in this idea that I still don t really understand, I ran past my daughters at dinner and they said, Dad, that s actually not a bad idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have the same issue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might wanna help this girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I did that and then I went to patent lawyers and they all quoted me between five and 10 grand to write the patent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had five grand set aside in my savings from selling fax machines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ended up writing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went to Barnes & Noble and bought a book called Patents and Trademarks and wrote my own patent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How incredible is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give her a hand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s incredible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I gotta say, I m not a lawyer, because remember, I bombed the LSAT, so I had no idea how to write the legal part of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did the background, the abstract." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom s an artist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She drew a picture of me standing in the living room in Just Spanx, which is actually the image on the patent, in the patent office." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I did all of that, went back to the lawyers, and I said to one of the lawyers, I said, I ve done all the legwork, will you just write the claims for a discounted price?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he agreed to do it for $750." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he later admitted to me, he goes, Sarah, I thought when you first came to me that your idea was so bad that I thought I was being pranked by my friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He goes, I thought you d been sent by candid camera, which makes perfect sense, because as I was pitching to him how I was going to change the world with my footless pantyhose and pulled him out of my red backpack, he was looking around the room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was looking for hidden cameras." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Being punked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, he thought his friends were punking him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he helped me, and then, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I made the packaging on my friend s computer every day after work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She had just graduated from art school, and I had a pretty clear vision of how I wanted my package to look really different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because if you get a chance to be on the shelf, and you have no money to advertise, your package needs to do the selling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I knew that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also wanted my package to feel like a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The woman was buying herself for so long, hosiery had been like a commodity we hated buying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s always like, baby," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "beige, gray, and white, and the same half-naked woman on every package." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I made mine red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I put cartoon women on there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone told me I wasn t going to be able to sell one pair with cartoon women because you couldn t see the product, but I wanted diversity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I did three very different looking cartoon women on the front of my package." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have no idea how to make a package." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So right before I was finished with making it to go to market, I was like, well, there might need to be something on here for legal reasons." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I went to the store, I went to Bloomingdale s, and I bought 10 different brands." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I laid them all over the floor of my apartment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if the same thing was on all 10, I was like, must be legal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I added it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was like, OK." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I added care instructions and certain things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I mean, I didn t know how it was supposed to be done, which is a big gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell us, how did you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m sorry, I didn t mean to interrupt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I was just going to say, when you don t know how it s supposed to be done, that means you re going to do it differently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My husband mentioned that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I really do believe that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this is why most people don t do it without the expertise, the self-doubt, the talk track." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How did you deal with that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been working, I m serious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been working on my negative self-talk and my talk track by listening to these, you know, this positive messaging and being a student of this, that it really helped me because why would I?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I m someone, I had no idea how any of this was supposed to be done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I still don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, so I feel like I, you know, I wish more people out there that don t know how it s supposed to be done would trust that and do that because that s where like the real, that s what moves life and society forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where change happens because if you do it like everybody else, it s not change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not innovation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A quick message from our Business Mastery team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you run a company, whether it be as a first-time entrepreneur or a seasoned CEO, you face challenges every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for many of you, you re doing it alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For more than 40 years, Tony Robbins has helped business owners like yourself understand how successful your business could be, the level it s at today, and how to close that gap faster and with fewer costly mistakes along the way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now he would like to underwrite the cost of a free one-to-one business strategy session from one of his top business coaches, $600 value." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this session, you ll learn how Tony s business systems can impact your company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, what most people don t know is that when Tony acquires or starts a company, he brings in six systems that are proven to create monumental growth up to 300% in the first year alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He teaches these systems at his business seminar and also offers a program where his experts will come to you to train your entire team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about his systems, get business owner resources and to claim your free session, just go to TonyRobbins.com slash CEO." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash CEO." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s get back to the interview." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So once you get this man on board who s going to manufacture for you, and you got your patent, did you go... I know at some point you got to Neiman Marcus and Oprah, but what s kind of the sequence?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When did you have your first breakthrough after actually getting somebody to believe in it and get the legal done?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you go out and call on department stores?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I called on Neiman s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was the first place you went?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this goes to not knowing how it s supposed to be done and how it can work in your favor, but I called Neiman Marcus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I looked him up in the yellow pages, and I called the one in Atlanta where I lived, and I said, hi, this is Sarah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve invented something, and the lady started laughing at me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She goes, well, we have a buying office, and it s in Dallas, so you should call there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I learned from my cold calling days not to leave a message, so I called for, I think it was three to five days before the hosiery buyer ever picked up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never left a message." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just kept hanging up, and all day at odd times, I d try her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Finally, she answered, and I just said, hi, this is Sarah Blakely, and I ve invented something that s going to change the way your customers wear clothes and help all your salespeople sell more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, what a great benefit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Boy, you re training to get your message out of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You had to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was like, OK, mail it to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I can t mail it to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have to come in person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we went back and forth on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, look, you ve got nothing to lose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can kick me out after 10 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just let me fly there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she said, if you re willing to fly here, I ll give you 10 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I got on a plane and I had my lucky red backpack from college, which literally, it is lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my friends begged me not to take it, Tony." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were like, Sarah, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to the Neiman Marcus headquarters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do not bring that old dirty red backpack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were like, buy a Prada bag, return it the next day, whatever you need to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, no, I got to bring it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s good luck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I flew there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sitting with this lady that is perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, her dress matched her pen, matched her shoes, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m sitting there with my red backpack from college, an Eastpac, and I had my prototype in a Ziploc bag from my kitchen, and I had a color copy of the packaging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And five minutes into my pitch, I was losing her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I think nonverbals are more important than verbal, and I had learned that in sales." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I pay attention to the nonverbal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, so many times I d be selling my fax machine and someone would go, I love it, it s great, and I m gonna call you tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I d be like, oh God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would even say to them, you know what, you re shaking your head no, but you re telling me yes, that s a little concerning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, can you really be honest with me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the big issue?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they d be like, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I d get one last chance to be able to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So anyway, her non-verbals were like clear as day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, oh God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just randomly, I said, Diane, will you come to the bathroom with me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like, she s like, excuse me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, I know it s a little weird, but will you come to the bathroom with me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to show you my product on and not on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went into the stall and I showed her under white pants without Spanx." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I put them on and I came out and I showed her with Spanx and she immediately went, I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s brilliant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m going to try it in seven stores." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, wow, that s awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when they put them into the markets, did they take off right away, or did you have to do some of the former marketing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, they did, but I had a little something to do with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I bet you did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so she said, I m going to try them in seven stores, which was amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I immediately called everyone I knew in those seven cities, and I paid them to buy Spanx." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You and Jesse are twin souls." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can see that for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I totally paid people to buy Spanx." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, hi, it s Sarah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We sat next to each other in fourth grade." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know I haven t talked to you since, but I just created this product called Spanx." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll mail you a check." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go in, tell the salesperson you ve been looking for it for your whole life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I literally bought up a lot of my product and the Neiman s buyer called me and she s like, we are selling out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, no kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t believe it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then just as I was running out of money, Oprah called and that was like, I got a chance to be one of Oprah s favorite things, which was amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it was amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you were running out of cash." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I wanted to say something also about the not knowing how it s supposed to be done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So after I got into Neiman s, all of these people in the industry came up to me and they re like, how in the world did you land Neiman s?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would look at them and I d go, I called them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not even kidding, and we would just stare at each other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They d be like, what do you mean you called them?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I called them, why, what do you do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, I go to trade shows, and I ve been setting up a booth for the last six years, and everyone says that around year six or seven, Neiman s comes to your booth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I didn t even know there were trade shows." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s so much to be said." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That one example I think is so telling about trusting, not knowing how it s supposed to be done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you go on Oprah at that critical time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Obviously we get a sense of what happened there, but you also, you decided early on, if I remember reading correctly, that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You weren t going to do traditional advertising, maybe partially because of economics, but that you were using word of mouth, but also you really were one of the early people using influencers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, everybody does that now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They think of Instagram and social media, but you didn t have it in those days." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why did you make that choice, and how did you make that choice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What did you decide to do around marketing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What was your philosophy around marketing in those early days, and how does it affect you still today?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re right that I made the choice for budget, you know, initially, and then when I saw how effective it was and how authentic it felt, then I didn t change it even when I had the budget to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Spanx became a household name and a global brand without ever advertising for the first 16 years of business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s have a hand for that, that s incredible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s incredible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thank you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for 16 years, we didn t do any formal advertising." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I basically sat in my apartment and said, what is the most effective way for me to get awareness, brand awareness?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for no money?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just wrote all of the ideas down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, send product to people like Oprah, call every radio station in America, call all the editors of every fashion magazine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to the store and I bought every fashion magazine and I circled names in the front and I just did it like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then after maybe four to six months, I ended up hiring someone to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that had no experience in it either." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All my first employees had no experience in what they were doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How did you pick your first employees?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was your criteria?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I like to say as soon as you can afford to, hire your weaknesses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I knew when you re an entrepreneur, you know what your weaknesses are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually what you don t enjoy too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It became pretty clear to me that I wasn t good at operations, that I wasn t good at the accounting and the inventory side of the business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so my first employee was an operator." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was my boyfriend at the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was a health care consultant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So naturally, I was like, come help me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This makes perfect sense." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my second employee was someone who did PR." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she was a neighbor who I had given a free sample to, and we walked to get a bagel together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she told me the whole walk there and the whole walk back why she loved it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of it, I was like, will you be my head of PR?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, will you take this list of all these people and the radio DJs and everyone I m trying to get?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my third hire was an assistant to help me book all my travel and hotel and stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And after about two and a half, three weeks, she became my head of product." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I turned to her and I was like, do you want to be my head of product?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, I don t know anything about shapewear or hosiery." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, I don t either." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she came and she s still to this day, 20 years later, we re 20 years old this year, Spanx started in 2000." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So she s had a product, she had no idea, she has this unbelievable gift." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so she figured it out, she kind of became an extension of me in product." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would dream up ideas and then she s really good at" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "solving the problems and figuring them out because Spanx holds many, many patents and a lot of what we ve done has never been done before, which is my favorite place to play." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, excuse me, so." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, she s still at the company." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those were my first three hires." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in the beginning, I m just gonna tell you what was going through my mind over and over again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make it, sell it, build awareness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t think of anything else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There wasn t really another thought that came into my mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, make it, sell it, build awareness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make it, sell it, build awareness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I only ever bought or spent what I had orders for already or what I knew I could sell." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the sales funded it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just the way I chose to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never really... It s exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I never really..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "changed up that model, so make it, sell it, build awareness, really." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think a lot of times you get, it s very easy to get distracted on things that aren t really gonna give you that return on investment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Plus it keeps it simple, you know, complexity is the enemy of execution, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You kept it simple, everybody could be focused." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve heard you say, you know, start, some of your advice often is start small, think big, and scale quickly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell us what that means to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it really means, well, now that I ve been doing this 20 years, I kind of realize that a lot of people want to start big." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was totally cool with not starting big." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I m going to start small." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to learn." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to listen to the customer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is she like?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or not like about the product before I iterate the next one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also was scaling fast and building awareness, because I wanted people to know I was the first to market." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew competition was going to come in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always coming in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s literally like walking through a land field or something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, people were knocking me off directly in every which way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I believe in starting small and being OK with that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen a lot of people that are raising $40 million and $100 million for marketing budgets and big ad campaigns and things right out of the gate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And marketing never makes up for a product that isn t superior." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t make up for raving fan clients." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what always goes with this, especially today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Product is king." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Product is king." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I care so much about product." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, you can have the best marketing in the world, people will buy your product once if it s not great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you should always be asking yourself, why am I different?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I different?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is my product different?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is my product better?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can t answer it, your customer s not gonna be able to answer it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can t answer it, spend more time in that bucket of your business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how can I make it better?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can I do?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the same with you personally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I better?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I better than, you know, what is it, what s my unique thing that I offer the world?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve grown for 20 years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, explosive growth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You still own the entire company, correct?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No outside capital, no outside investors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How about that, ladies and gentlemen?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s just extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fantastic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me, you started, you know, I m a man, so I don t fully understand the product line, but I do understand that you ve continued to expand the product line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How did you know when to expand?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, sometimes people expand too many things too quickly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your, how did you decide, and what s your advice to people when they re, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So their product line, when should they, how do they know they should or shouldn t at that stage?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for a long time, Spanx only focused on shapewear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s positives and negatives to that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you have to really kind of go off instinct in your own businesses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I like to be known for something and be the best at something before I start really expanding my line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then whenever I expand into a new category of product, I want a hero." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need a hero that I usually launch with, and depending on the hero, I might want it to be the only product that enters that category for a year, maybe less, maybe more, and anchor in that, and then add on to it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the hero is usually something that... Can you give us an example of one of the first new products you created of the hero?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, well, like recently, we went into apparel, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanted to create the perfect black pant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the perfect black pant, just easy, like, washable, dress up, dress down, makes you look amazing in it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we did just one black pant and that gave, you know, our customers a chance to really anchor in like, wow, Spanx is making this now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we added other silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of just, you know, doing it all at once and, you know, another product that we just created is something called arm tights." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s hosiery for your arms." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I like to just look at things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I own a bunch of sleeveless things, sleeveless dresses, sleeveless tops, that I want to wear year-round." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can t, you know, because of the weather." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I thought, well, we wear" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to hosiery and tights on our legs in the fall and in the winter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not on our arms?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I created this little crop top made on a hosiery machine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The arms, you know, you put it on, it comes to right here below your bra, and the arms come to here, and they come in all different colors and patterns and prints, and they completely extend your wardrobe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now, you know, for $30, this item allows women to really play, you know, stylist in her own wardrobe and change up outfits that have looked the same for a long time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s the way my brain works." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ll just be looking at tights one day on the legs and be like, hmm, why aren t there tights for the arms?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are there only tights for the legs?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve got a whole upper body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve got, you know, it s the same way that, you know, in the winter and in the fall for a lot of women, you want to wear dresses, but you don t want bare legs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought the same thing about my sleeveless dresses and tops." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have the blue ocean strategy, create new categories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That really gives you a geometric advantage if you can pull it off, which you ve done successfully, and you also have so much trust." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How have you built so much trust with your clients?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always tell people, don t fall in love with your product, fall in love with your clients, because products and services need to change." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you fall in love with them, you can serve them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How have you built such trust?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How have you built such a brand over the years?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think it is that you deliver?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s your philosophy on marketing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there s a great deal of humor in it that I see, and just authenticity and warmness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you translate that when a company becomes as big as you are?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, you know, I ve always been really honest with her, and I ve always been really direct, and I talk to her the way that I would talk to her if I ran into her, instead of, like, through a marketing spin, sitting in a conference room." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also been very vulnerable as the founder and the owner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, from the very beginning, Tony, I was standing in Neiman s, like, once I landed the Neiman s order," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of entrepreneurs might think I ve arrived, I landed Neiman s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, this is my chance and I will not, not have this work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I took two years and stood in every Neiman s in the country and then all the other Nordstrom," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and sold the product for them to their customers." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they had a personal relationship with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, I just looked at the landscape." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, OK, they re going to put me in the sleepiest corner of the store where nobody goes, and a sales associate who s making $10 or $12 an hour is in charge of my fate?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not think so." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I literally, I mean, the store didn t ask me to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did what are called Spanx days and I stood there all day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would go at 8.30 in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would do a morning rally for all of the sales associates before the store opened." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had to really hustle because the rule was you really only do it to the department that you re selling in." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I knew like those three hosiery sales reps wasn t really gonna make the biggest impact for me being there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would run around and beg the women that sold couture, and the women that sold makeup, and the women in men in shoes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I gave free product away." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I m going to give free product away." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, there s a contest." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I just whatever I could do to get them to attend my morning meeting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I stood for seven to eight hours a day and sold Spanx out of the hosiery department in the entrance of Spanx, I mean, of Neiman s, without permission, which is a big key." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Neiman s is really uptight about their visual and I went to Target when I did this at the time and I bought those things that go on your desk that hold envelopes, like an envelope holder, and I put them at every single register in Neiman s and threw three pair of Spanx or four pair of Spanx and it would just walk away." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, you know, I just remember somebody asking me, is this, do you have approval for this?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then what happened was, what happened was everybody thought somebody else had approved it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t realize no one had approved it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was trying to get Spanx out of the corner of the store that I knew it wasn t gonna sell in." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, this is my biggest challenge." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, had I not gone to the place that it was being sold, I probably wouldn t have recognized that s really my biggest objection is that," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The women that are wearing great dresses and slacks and aren t going even to the hosiery department won t know this is there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had to break a lot of rules to get it done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then by the time that they realized no one had approved it, the CEO at the time, Bert Tansky, said, you know, they saw what the sales were doing on this $20 item." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, whatever this girl s doing, let her keep doing it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How many years did you do that for?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For two." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For two years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give her a hand for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Incredible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely incredible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I love is we live in a world where people read about somebody in the tech business or something, hitting a home run in two years, making a billion dollars." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it deludes people because 95% of businesses in the world, only 5% of them even do a million dollars gross." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think people beat themselves up and they think somebody got lucky." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of people think you got an Oprah and that was the game." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m so grateful you re sharing this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "think of the details she thought through to give people an experience, not just tell them about it, you know, and doing whatever it took." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I literally did whatever it took to succeed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, when I tell you this, I mean, I, yeah, I got a lot of rejection standing there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you know, not everybody was always happy for me to be like, hey, check this out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I took a picture of my own butt, I laminated it in before and after, and I stood there and showed people my butt with a panty line and cellulite on it under white pants, and I d be like, this is me, look, this is before and this is after, and people were like, but I also think that that vulnerability, I mean, so many people said to me, I don t know that you should be the before and after butt model as the founder." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, but I need this product." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the whole why." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just was connecting with people that way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what else happened is I built a sales force that wasn t on my payroll because every store that I hit became an advocate for me and my brand." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were rooting for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d spent that whole day there getting to know them and selling them on why this was such a great product." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wouldn t leave a store without talking to every employee, including the ladies that did gift wrap." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would run back to gift-wrapping and be like, hi, I m Sarah, here s my pencil, I know you re gonna love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to leave one stone unturned, especially if I had taken the time to fly there and go there, because it was expensive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I told my team back home one time, Tony, I was like, I m going to California, and because the flights are really expensive, I land in San Diego, and 21 days later, I leave out of San Francisco, and I m hitting every store between San Diego and San Francisco," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had MapQuest at the time, and I was like freaking out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know where I was half the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did every single day, including Sundays, for 21 days." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my feet were like blisters everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I mean, at Neiman s, I couldn t wear it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to look the part." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was in like really high heels and trying to be in a cute outfit for those ladies." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got on the plane after 21 days in San Francisco." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I sat on the plane, and the guy next to me is like, hey, how are you?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, pfft." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just started bawling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just bawled and bawled the whole flight back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like, are you okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, I m fine, I m fine, just a little tired." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, but that s, yeah, I mean, the Oprah was amazing, but I mean, I had to sell it myself too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You, to, you know, I ve always talked about, you know, people in their business don t usually maximize it because they get excited initially and then it doesn t work out the way they want." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a guy named Mel Fisher that I usually share with the group here who, you know, went for 16 years looking for a gold treasure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "True story." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he found it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You may remember." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He found it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he went 15 years with not a single gold coin." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He lost members of his team who died on trips." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, to be able to keep going and doing that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, the kind of the three beliefs are, you know, that aspect of, I got to believe the treasure s out there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you don t certain the treasure s out there, you re not going to find it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I got to believe I m going to find it, and I got to know it s worth it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which comes back to one word, why." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for you to drive that hard, pretty strong why." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your why?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think, you know, I ve heard you talking with people, I know you bring that up, it is for me too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like people don t have to know the how if they got a strong enough what they re after and why." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was the why for you and what s the why today?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my why is all about the opportunity of being a woman born in the right country at the right time, which I had nothing to do with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just pure luck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I looked at my mom and my grandmothers and I saw their limited choices and they inspired me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their limited choices inspired me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, my mom is 22 years older than me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s only, that is the smallest amount of time when you think about the scheme of how long human beings have been on this planet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By 22 years, I made it that my options were, you know, I could fulfill my own dreams and potential." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, my why was very much I feel like I was doing this for A, not to squander the opportunity that was given to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just something I felt since I was a little girl." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if I brought it into this lifetime or where it came from, because it just has always been there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I just was, you know, for all the women that still don t have this opportunity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of people ask me also how you handle self-doubt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Self-doubt is constantly positive messaging from people like Tony and Wayne Dyer and these amazing souls that have been out there giving us these positive messages, but it s also when you can do something that s bigger than yourself, the self-doubt becomes a lot smaller." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not about you anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when it s all about you, if it s only about you, it s a lot easier to be like, I don t wanna make that call today, whatever, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I m too scared to go through the door at Neiman s." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I m going through the door at Neiman s on behalf of all the women that came before me that didn t have this chance, and all the women on the planet who still don t, I could be crying in the car and shaking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going through the door." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, it gets me emotional talking about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sarah, you re an amazing soul, but the most amazing thing is you show other people that anyone can tap who they are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like you ve attended this week, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve lived all the things I ve been trying to teach everybody." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re bringing them up, which is the most important thing, is to find something you care about more than yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because business is a spiritual game." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all about how can you do more for others than anybody else, but you only do so much for yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you found that, and it s beautiful, and you haven t lost it over 20 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what s really special." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I had somebody ask me, like, how do you find something that you re that passionate about?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of the things that I like to just tell people, it s just a simple little litmus test of it, is like, what makes you cry?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever makes you cry or what makes you feel really sad, that s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There it is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s always a way, no matter what your business is, if it s financial, if it s this, if it s that, there s always a way to tie it into something that means more to you than the business." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, the customer means everything to you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ask me why I m still doing this 20 years later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I care so much about the woman." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also, not only when I was trying to solve an undergarment issue for myself, I stood on the floors of these manufacturing plants in North Carolina, and I realized there weren t any women in the room." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, wow." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it didn t really seem like they were caring." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The industry was caring about how we felt." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I stood on the floor that day and I remember saying to myself, like, I ll be that person." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll be the girl that cares about how the women feel in these things." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, that s been the lens for me at Spanx." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s still so much left to make that I can make better for her." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m tearing up myself because seeing people break through, seeing people claim their truth and serve somebody larger than yourself and you re such a beautiful model of that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted you to come here too because women do everything today." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had a conversation earlier this week about if you don t admire and respect the feminine, including women sometimes who don t because they think masculine is more powerful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They forget that no one on this earth made it without making it through a woman who had the courage to bring life through them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Much less, I see someone even work all day long in their business and come home and raise their kids and take care of husbands or wives or whoever they re with." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Women are extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet I see so many women that think power is in masculine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we all have it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have feminine me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sitting here tearing up with you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have masculine me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes we try to be something we re different than because the culture reinforces it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you are the most successful, arguably, maybe in the world, but certainly in our country, female entrepreneur in terms of results, short period of time impact." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet your feminine is so alive." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your vulnerability is so alive." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can you say to the women in this room who think they have to become masculine to achieve things as opposed to just using all of themselves, masculine and feminine?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your philosophy and what do you want other female entrepreneurs to know about this, that they don t have to give up who they are in some way?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was actually a really conscious decision I made early on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, business has been a very masculine construct, okay?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so happy to hear you talk about the energy because I talk about this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I have a foundation and I talk about my greater mission is to elevate the feminine on the planet, but I believe that it s the masculine and feminine energy on the planet that needs to be in balance, that the feminine has been squashed for" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like 3,000 years, for a while." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we all have masculine and feminine in us." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I know CEOs that are very balanced in their feminine, like Hamdi from Chobani comes to mind." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s got that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Richard Branson s got that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I meet, so, and then women, we have the masculine and feminine, so I really am in search of the balance, but when I first started Spanx, I was maybe a month into it, and I had been written up in the local paper in Atlanta, and I was at a cocktail party, and three men came up to me, and they go, Sarah, you know, we read about you, you invented something, that s great, and I said, yeah, I did, I m so excited, and one guy patted me on the shoulder, and he goes, you know, Sarah, business is war." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the other guys kind of laughed and looked at each other and they go, yep, business is war." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they walked away." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went home into my apartment and I sat on the floor of my apartment and I actually started to cry." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember saying to myself, why does it have to be war?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want it to be war." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not my script." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m going to go about this in a very different way and just see what happens." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I honor the feminine through the whole journey." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you do." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the number one reason I wanted you to be here, honestly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, because I see so many women also, I think there has been injustice." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s immature masculinity squashed feminine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One that s trying to control." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mature masculinity wants to love and serve." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think some women try to become what they think is masculine and they model the very thing that they dislike." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have not done that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your metaphor for business?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of it as a spiritual game." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you add more value?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your metaphor for business?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh wow, I ve never thought about a metaphor for it, but I mean, it s this just beautiful unfolding journey." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s a journey that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a beautiful journey, and you know, I will say, Tony, about a lot of the women, you know, I recognize that a lot of the women that came before me" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "had to act like men and had to try to look like men to even get the chance to have their foot in the door." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m thrilled that I m in a place and time where the men and the women are honoring and respecting the feminine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I do believe the feminine is very powerful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to your point, I m very grateful for the masculine in me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Masculine in me has made a huge difference in my life, but I didn t wanna downplay the feminine" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in rooms full of people that had kind of lost their way of the feminine because, and I m happy that now in business I think a lot of men and women are really embracing the feminine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s the balance, you know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I lead my business with vulnerability, empathy, intuition." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I m in a business group with, I joined YEO when I first started Spanx because one thing that happens when we re entrepreneurs is one day we become a boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was selling fax machines complaining about the boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had all this camaraderie bitching about the boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then one day I was like, oh my god, I m the boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had no peers and no one to talk to." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had these people sitting in my apartment going, you re the boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are we going to do?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I d never even had a manager, really, that I had" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "learned from when I was in this role of entrepreneur and now boss." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I joined this group, which I recommend if you have any way to find people that are like you and going through what you re going through, which is wonderful why you re at this seminar, because I m sure you re all making great friends, and these are all like-minded people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I joined a group called YU, Young Entrepreneur Organization." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a national organization." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They put you in a forum." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was in a forum with 10 guys." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m the only girl." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve met with these 10 guys every month for 18 years." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now they re like my brothers." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I say I feel like I m Jane Goodall, but instead of observing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gorillas in the wild, I get to observe men in their natural habitat, because they forget I m there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m always like, wow, this is so interesting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I go on vacation with them once a year, these 10 guys." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anyway, for the first four years, you know, they all were placing bets how long I was going to last in business." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ve now admitted that to me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you can imagine, I mean, I go in there, they re like, what s your business plan?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I don t have one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, well, what are you going to do?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I m going to talk to the universe about this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, literally, I would say these things." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they d be like, well, how are you gonna make that happen?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I m gonna manifest it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give me a minute, I ll manifest it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, these guys were like, woohoo." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then Tony, like four years into it, you know, they start seeing like, she s not really going away, and her business is kind of doing great, so what s going on here?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one by one, they don t know this, but one by one, each one of them have pulled me aside, and each of them have said to me, so Sarah, how do you talk to the universe?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think honoring the male and female in all of us is the real secret, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being an integrated human being, finding what your lead system is, but honoring both parts and honoring other people as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s some questions from our audience." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you okay with that?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just a few?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She wanted to have a few in advance." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I call your name, you can stand up, but we re gonna, for time s sake, read your question." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Amanda Marie asks, what would you do differently if you could jump into a time machine and do it all again?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amanda Marie, you might stand up if you re around there somewhere." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amanda, okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amanda, it s a great question." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like where I m sitting, so I wouldn t do a whole lot different, but I would say... But I would say that if I could do it over again, there were periods of time at Spanx where I stopped playing in my lane," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m a product person, I m an inventor." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like the sales, the marketing, and the product side of it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a period of time, what I think happens to a lot of business owners is as the business start to grow, I got removed away from that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t even really realize it was happening." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I spent all day every day just dealing with business problems." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there was this organization around me, and when things were bad enough, they bubbled up to me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so all day every day I was dealing with like really" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, bad crisis stuff, which happens daily in business." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I became really unhappy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I didn t know why, and I was feeling super burned out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I realized, wait, I am really far removed from the thing that got me the most excited and jazzed about doing this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So about I wasn t the CEO of Spanx for a period of time and about four years ago I stepped back in as the CEO and when I stepped back in as the CEO more day-to-day I said I am I m basically gonna be very close to product and I meet with product every week I m in the fit room." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I try every product on and I couldn t be happier and" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I still deal with the problems, but it s not the only thing I do anymore." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get to stay close to your love as the business grows." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Perfect." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Henry Villa says, how do you grow a company the size of Spanx with no outside capital or an external investment?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of answered that a little bit, but maybe is there anything else you d add to that?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it s a private company you can t mention, but what s the size of the company today?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or the number of products for people?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "people sense without getting into your private business?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we have probably between 200 and 400 products." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all over the world." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just been really an awesome journey." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s awesome." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Henry, I think I saw you over here." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, hey, Henry." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The question is, how did I do this with just $5,000?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, with no outside capital or any external investment by anyone else." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I kind of talked a little bit about it, but I was willing to start small." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I only ever invested in the sales that were coming in." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was just what was comfortable for me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve never really had a strong need to go to outside funding." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s really how that happened." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I worked really, really, really hard." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really hard." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So many things other people would have hired someone to do, you did, or you bootstrapped." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I still, I mean, it s 20 years into this, and someone will bring me something, and I ll be like, can we do this ourselves?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because what I have found most of the time, it s very seductive to start to say, we can afford the experts." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you start to bring in the experts, like the marketing experts come, and then these people come," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I have found that oftentimes, even when you have the money to afford all of that, you get the best results when you kind of bootstrap it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m always looking for that authentic thread, too." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if things are too perfect and too polished, sometimes you can feel a little disconnected from consumers and each other." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve never been that worried about" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fumbling my way through it and being able to laugh about it, so I think that s it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m very grateful that I own my company and that I made those choices." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give her hands, beautiful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Milo Carbea, I hope I m pronouncing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She says, female to female," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you tell us about your daily habits, particularly how you manage to keep your health and beauty routines up while running a billion-dollar empire?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is your philosophy concerning scheduling me time?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Any additional advice for female CEOs in a tough time keeping up, who are having a tough time keeping up?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like this woman because she was asked to ask one question." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about maximizing your opportunity, girlfriend." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m going to try to answer all of them, but I would say, you know, I haven t always done it right, and I haven t always put myself first." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are times in the business where I can put myself more first, and times where I do take a back seat." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the beginning, I really took a back seat." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I worked 24 hours a day, seven days a week for probably about four years." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my headquarters was my apartment for the first two years, so it was really hard to separate myself from that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this past year, in 19, believe it or not, I went to my team and I said to them, every year I say I m going to work out, and every year I say I m going to make time for it, and I haven t done it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In years, in years, ever." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this year I m gonna say, I m gonna make time to work, and here s the hour that I m gonna work out every single day, and everything else has to fall around it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just me declaring that, it s happened." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for all of 19 was the first year in my whole Spanx journey that I worked out every day." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember that, that s awesome." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was very proud of that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then one thing I did that really helped me was I bucketed my days." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I realized for a really, I cannot believe how long this took me to figure out." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as an entrepreneur, we re wearing every hat, we re almost every department." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in one day I m like sitting in a meeting and they re asking me about a bra and I m like wearing the bra and giving feedback." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then five minutes later I have a legal issue and I m sitting with my lawyers and they re talking to me about something." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, an hour later I m in an employee situation and trying to help solve an employee crisis." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, 20 minutes later, my kids school calls." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would come home every day and be exhausted and feel like I got nothing done and a bunch of arrows were being shot at me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I felt." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would just come home and be like... And I had like monkey brains." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what happened was I wasn t allowing myself to have enough time for context." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I felt like I was making bad decisions." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was frustrated a lot of the time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An example would be, my team would come in and go, Sarah, do you like the blue package or the red package?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, you know, the green package and the purple package?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d be like, purple." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, it launches, and it launches next to a competitor that s purple." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, what?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I never would have picked purple if I m seeing that we re in a scene, you know, and they re like, well, and I was, you know, I d be frustrated they didn t tell me that, they d be frustrated I didn t ask the question." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now what I do is I have themed days." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not always perfect." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s not always perfect, but Mondays, I work from home." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tuesdays, I know that I m marketing brand and all things dealing with the brand." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wednesday, I meet with all my leaders and I do visioning for the company." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thursday s my product day." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only work on product." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Friday s a swing day for me too now." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I may work at home, I may come into the office." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Friday and Monday is when I try to allocate time for myself to think." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thinking is super critical and spending that time doing that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that made a huge difference because now the whole company knows, like they can plan and be like, Tuesday s when Sarah s thinking about this and I meet with the right people." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It allows you also to put concentration of power into one category instead of being scattered, right?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s huge." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We teach a process of RPM, which is getting your life that way and scheduling it that way." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s incredibly powerful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of those helped me a lot." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I recognize my best time to think is in the car." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single person here in the room has their best place or time to think." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not talking about when you go through your checklist of like, I gotta, you know, do that and that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m talking about where does your mind wander?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where does your mind wander, and how much time do you need to allocate alone before your mind wanders?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when your mind wanders is where all the magic is." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for Einstein, it was when he was shaving." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He d get all his best ideas." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s in the car." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I live about five minutes from Spanx, but I have created what my friends call my fake commute, and I get in the car, and I drive an hour before Spanx." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll drive aimlessly around town." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "thinking, and I show up at the office, and I m like, thank God I got that time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I actually had to schedule it, because I live so close to the office." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s wonderful." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lua Kayab, is that how I m pronouncing your name properly?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here we go." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She said, what was the scariest challenge you had in your business, and how did you handle it and keep going?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you tell yourself the first morning you woke up that Spanx was officially a business?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was the scariest part of my business?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Scariest time, and how d you get through it?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, the scariest time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How d you get through it?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the scariest, I ve had so many scary times in my business." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the scariest time in my business is when I stopped honoring my lane in the business." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had the wrong leader in the business." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I lost my way a little bit during that time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a woman, I was also trying to grow my family." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had a lot of other things happening in my personal life that was hard and complicated." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say that was my hardest time, and how I fixed it was I got up the courage to just reclaim it and go back in, and I was terrified, but I stepped back in as CEO, which I hadn t been in a long time, and I was willing to set the rules the way that I felt was gonna be best for me and the business, and wasn t as worried about hurting feelings." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or who might be upset about it, and let the chips fall where they may, and it all has been a beautiful thing for the company and for me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say that was probably a scary time." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, what was the other question?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The second one was, what did you tell yourself the first morning you woke up that Spanx is officially a business?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I m still waking up and I m like, is it a business?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say, I was just like, the moment that I actually felt like I was a business was when I had first launched the footless pantyhose and I had been Oprah s favorite thing and I had been selling that one product for a year and a half and I invented my second product, which was the first ever shaper short that had no leg band on it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it stayed down." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were called power panties." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they stayed down on the leg, but didn t leave that visible liner bulge through our clothes that all the other shapers in the world had that kept it down." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got a chance to be on QVC, and I came off of an eight-minute segment and had sold something like 20,000 pair." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, standing in the department stores a really good day would be selling like 50." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d get to the hotel room and be like, I sold 50 today." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went into the green room and I have this very visual moment." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "moment of like collapsing on the couch there and thinking, I m not a one hit wonder, I m a company." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s my second product and they like it." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give it up." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is a collection of interviews and stories and is produced by the Tony Robbins team." }, { "chunk": "8", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today we re bringing you a special episode that illuminates a cause and an organization that Tony is extremely passionate about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So passionate that he is dedicating his 60th birthday event to it as a benefit to raise funds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He and his wife Sage have been involved with this organization for a few years, but now they want to raise awareness and turn more people s attention to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Operation Underground Railroad is a nonprofit organization that s committed to eradicating child sex trafficking through coordinated rescue missions and recovery programs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of the time, when somebody adopts a cause, they have a personal connection to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might raise money for cancer research if you ve lost a parent to the disease." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You may work with homeless populations if you ve experienced it yourself or have a family member that has." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in Tony s case, his dedication to this cause did not come from a personal connection." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He learned about Operation Underground Railroad through a woman at his Business Mastery event in 2016, who shared with the audience her goal of contributing significant funds to this organization so that even more children can be rescued." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Tony speaking about the moment he learned about Operation Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I first heard about Operation Underground Railroad, I was doing one of my business mastery seminars for business owners from all over the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we have, you know, different buckets of finance, where you put kind of your security bucket, the things that you don t want too much risk with, where you d put your risk money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s a dream bucket." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the Dream Bucket, I try to get people to realize that if they earn more, they can do so much more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can have such impact in their life and their families and their friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also very strongly encourage them to find some type of project of contribution because I really believe in my soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The secret to living is giving, corny as that may sound, but there s nothing that lights us up like giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done quite a bit of research." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wrote a whole book around this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in it, scientists now, they can test the hormonal change in your body, and giving even to a stranger creates a greater biochemical change of happiness in your body than just about anything else you can imagine, other than taking care of your own family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I talked about this, and then people share all their things that they want to make happen, and this woman stood up and she said, I really want to help" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "free girls that are in sexual slavery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, there s a group called Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, they re former CIA, FBI, special forces type of guys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they don t just go in and free them, but they figure out strategies to capture these people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they teach the local police in those countries." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, well, how much does it cost to take care of a child, a free one child?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she said, it s about $2,000, $2,500." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, well, I ll donate $100,000" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in your name to get you started." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just spontaneous because I was touched by it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I did that, people got inspired." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This man stood up and he said, I don t have $100,000, but I have $5,000 and I d like to donate it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I said, I ll match everybody here as much as you ll do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there was this incredibly beautiful moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all in tears because, you know, there s a couple thousand people in that particular program, and there was a line of people coming up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, well, come on up and just sign a card here, what you ll commit to, and I ll match it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it took us like 15, 20 minutes to process everybody, and we raised about a half a million dollars." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it just got things started." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then after that, I reached out to Tim Ballard, one of the co-founders, and got a chance to know him personally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I also had the chance to actually go on an operation and witness the incredible work of these men." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have to say, it was one of the ugliest experiences of my life, and also one of the most beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ugly part was witnessing human beings, including some of these people that were trafficking their own children," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, little girls 13 and 14 years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s an abomination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s beyond what they can imagine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was kind of like, emotional about it, obviously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was shocking to witness the complete lack of humanity in these people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I take advantage of these children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, being close to them, I wanted to beat their face in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that sounds pretty horrific, but it s just you, you want it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They hurt children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the part of me is just so wants to protect them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I knew if I did that, I would obviously destroy the entire operation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you got to manage yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the ugly part." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The beautiful part was seeing these girls when they were freed, when they got on the bus and they began to realize that they were really free." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, so much bewilderment, and then joy, and then awe, and then non-belief at first, but just seeing that, those first moments of freedom, and then also going and visiting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, some of them are able to go home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of them, unfortunately, were sent, sold by their own families, and so they re going back to a center where they re gonna be reintegrated, and the people there are just so loving and so committed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re as dedicated as any human beings can be, again, 24-7, to take care of these girls and reintegrate them into a normal life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love seeing these kids being healed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were out there playing with them, you know, playing soccer, kicking the ball." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s fun to see Tim, who s got this unbelievable intensity, and yet he also can be a chameleon like some of the other guys here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He knows how to enter these guys worlds and twist their brains and basically pull them in so that you can capture them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then, you know, watching him afterwards," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s as soft as I am, the son of a bitch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He cries and gets tears pouring down his face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can just see it s his life s mission." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And seeing those kids, he calls them his kids because he freed them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He should call them his kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was really, really touching." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a deep love for Tim." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a really good soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s recruited so many good souls around him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now it s not just Tim, it s this army of men and women who are unbelievably dedicated and incredibly effective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I shared the whole experience with my wife." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in tears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in tears remembering it again now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was also inspired by it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "inspired by the intelligence behind this and the heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got an amazing team of people and you see the power of the strategies that the CIA and other agencies have to be implemented in this area and then to be taught." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s God s work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, again, I can sound pointy to some people, but I think somebody s got to do it and nobody s doing it like these guys that I m aware of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why I m such a supporter of Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What you just heard from Tony about his experience learning about Operation Underground Railroad and going on an undercover rescue mission is an experience that changed his life forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His dedication and attention to this cause is because modern day slavery is an issue that nobody wants to think or talk about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the worst part of humanity and it s hiding in plain sight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All too often, people turn a blind eye to it because it s too unbearable to even think about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you hear about it on the news or see it in a movie, most people turn it off because it s simply too hard to imagine a child of your own, a sibling, a niece or nephew, or godchild in such a situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s difficult and it s dark, and most people don t want to face the darkness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, there are over two million children enslaved worldwide in sex trafficking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Human trafficking brings in an estimated $150 billion annually, and it s the fastest growing criminal enterprise on the planet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To illustrate just how big that is, imagine this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With the money made in human trafficking every year, you could buy every Starbucks franchise in the world, every NBA team in the nation, and every Target store across the globe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this isn t just an issue in other countries." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Human trafficking in America is among the worst in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, the United States is ranked as one of the top three nations of origin for victims of human trafficking, with children in foster care, homeless youth, undocumented immigrant children, and those with substance abuse problems especially at risk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Over 300,000 of America s young population is considered at risk for sexual exploitation, with nearly 200,000 incidents occurring in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "every year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sadly, the United States is the number one consumer of child rape videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You heard Tony talk about Tim Ballard, the founder of Operation Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tim is a man that has selflessly dedicated his life to rescuing children from sex slavery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He spent over a decade working as a special agent for the Department of Homeland Security, where he worked on the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force and was deployed as an undercover operative for the U.S." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "child sex tourism job team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s worked every type of case imaginable in the fight to infiltrate and dismantle these absolutely horrific child trafficking rings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But Tim left his government career, everything he knew, his pension, and his security in 2013 to start Operation Underground Railroad, also known as OUR, a nonprofit organization of former Navy SEALs and CIA agents that help law enforcement find and capture human traffickers and provide victims with the support they need to integrate back into a normal life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When Tony learned of the courageous work that Tim and his team do, he knew he had to take action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Tim on why people like Tony, people who aren t afraid to look darkness in the eye, are making all the difference in this fight to end child slavery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We should warn you that Tim s experience doing this type of work is extensive and intense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as a result, some of the details in this episode may not be appropriate for some listeners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Human trafficking or modern day slavery is the fastest growing criminal" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "enterprise in the world and people don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reason Tony is one of the greatest fighters against what is today the fastest growing criminal enterprise in the world, that s the buying and selling of people, of children, for sex, for organ harvesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reason he s so effective in this fight" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is because he learned that principle many, many years ago, that he is not afraid to look darkness in the eye and take it on and engage it and eradicate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s who he is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wish more people could do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every time I go on radio stations, I find out later, yeah, people turned us off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Many say human trafficking and children being raped for money and they just turn it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why it s continuing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why the legalized form of slavery lasted for hundreds of years in our own country." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What an embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What a horrific tragedy that we legalized this and allowed it to thrive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because the people that could have done something about it, they didn t want to look at it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony has gone on undercover rescue operations with OUR." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s donated money and spoken about the issue at length, publicly, to raise awareness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he s also the executive producer of a film called Sound of Freedom, which will be coming out this fall." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The movie is inspired by true events that happened to Tim while working for Homeland Security, and the first rescue operation he conducted upon leaving that job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It follows the story of Rocio, a girl that was kidnapped by Colombian traffickers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this clip from Sound of Freedom that you re about to hear, Tim, who is portrayed by actor Jim Caviezel, is meeting with a wealthy businessman to try to convince him to finance a rescue mission." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you know there were over 22 million new images of child pornography on the web this past year?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a 5,000% increase over the past five years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "5,000%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The fact is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is the fastest growing international crime network that the world has ever seen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I agreed to it because we were working with the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "government." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Back out now or this whole thing will blow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It has already passed the illegal arms trade, and soon it s going to pass the drug trade, and you want to know why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because you can sell a bag of cocaine one time, but a child, the most precious child, you can sell a five-year-old kid five to ten times a day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for 10 years straight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And everyday ordinary people don t want to hear it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s too ugly for polite conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But meanwhile, over 2 million children a year are being sucked into the deepest recesses of hell." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Trust me, man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If we do nothing," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Their pain is gonna spread and spread." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Till someday it s gonna reach the likes of you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that will be a nightmare that you re never gonna wake up from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After agreeing to help, the businessman financed the rescue mission and posed as a rich man trying to buy children, which helped lure in the traffickers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With his help, Tim and his team rescued 54 children, and it was this operation that ultimately started Operation Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since then, OUR has rescued over 3,500 children and victims of sex trafficking and has arrested over 1,500 pedophiles and traffickers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through an arm of OUR, Tim and his team also do a lot of work in the Middle East, using high-tech tools and undercover operators to infiltrate crime networks and rescue women and children that are under the attack of ISIS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To date, they have helped extract 10,000 people and move them into safety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Naveen is one of those people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s her story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is the story of a little girl, 13 years old, her name is Naveen, and she was living in Sinjar city in northern Iraq peacefully with her family, a Yazidi family, which is a tribal group, peaceful, beautiful, religious people that mind their own business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And ISIS comes in and decides that all the people that are Yazidi people will be slaves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They came in and just killed the men and took the women and children and put them immediately into sex slavery." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they had these huge slave markets in northern Iraq and in Syria, and they just bought and sold women and children for sex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This little girl at 13 got sucked into that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Her mom was not taken and she was left childless and a widow and just praying that her family would come back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Years had passed and all the news that she had was that her daughter was dead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was not in a safe place so she worked with us to get her out of the country and into Australia that was taking Yazidi refugees." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so sad watching her leave knowing that little Naveen was probably killed at this point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so she goes to Australia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The day she gets to Australia, we had the unbelievable surprise and honor to be able to call her and say, literally while you were flying to Australia, we found your daughter and we recovered her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she s in our aftercare facility and she is safe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This little girl, she s 16 at this point, and we begin the process of aftercare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She lives in one of our basically tent cities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We started to expedite the paperwork, and finally this summer, we were able to take her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We went to Iraq and picked her up and took her home to her mom, who she hadn t seen in five years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the most unbelievable scene if you can imagine this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s now 16 years old and she s seeing her mom for the first time, having been through just the worst possible scenario." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s at times like this where you realize everything we do is worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If all the millions that we have raised only produced that one case, only produced the rescue of this little girl and got this girl back to her mom, it all would have been worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She today is going to school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s brilliant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s learned English now, and she s preparing to go to law school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She said, I want to go to law school so that I can learn the law, and I m going to go back to Iraq, and I m going to defend my people and their rights." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those kind of stories, the simple act of us getting her out and getting her home, she will now turn around and probably go rescue thousands." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s an amazing story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a story of the ability for the human spirit to triumph over darkness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t imagine what she s been through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know what it was, but I can t imagine what it s like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The aftercare process is one of the most important elements of a rescue, because it s not often, as in the case of Naveen, that there s a parent to receive them and help them reintegrate back into society." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately, the majority of kids who find themselves in the nightmare of human trafficking in the first place are there because there s no parent around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And worse, sometimes the parents are the ones selling the children." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before an operation even begins, Tim and his teams vet local care facilities and safe houses to determine if they can provide the level of quality, holistic care that the child needs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we go into a country to set up operations, the first question we ask is, what is your plan with any of the kids we rescue?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if they tell us that the state has some kind of program, we say, no, we know how that works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not going to work with you unless you work with our partners." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we spend a lot of time finding partners already existing on the ground." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t reinvent the wheel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s experts on the ground, mostly they re non-government organizations that have set up shop and they have all the tools" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to help in the healing and ultimately in the reintegration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We look for programs and partners that provide the hope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we rescue these kids, you can ask them questions like, what s your favorite color?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And nine times out of 10, they ll tell you, I don t have one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know I was allowed to have one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s a whole mindset that we can t comprehend if we haven t been through it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you need to replace that darkness with hope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s largely based on what do you want to be?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because you can be whatever you want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just choose it, and we will support you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One little boy we rescued back in 2014, he s just now" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "finishing his program, the aftercare program, and he wants to start his own business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wants to learn English." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we stay with the kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Six years ago, now we just gave him a scholarship to an English school and a business school, and he s now starting his own business in Latin America." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s what we do, is we find these aftercare homes that can take them in, have all the tools they need, can provide the hope, can provide the training, the vision that these kids know they can have a future, and then we stay with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our aftercare team lives on a plane and they fly from country to country." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our director of aftercare, she literally knows the names of every single one of these survivors in 26 countries." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like their sister, their mom, their best friend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what she does." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She lives on an airplane." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "plane and she has a staff and they vet out aftercare programs that we select to use and then she stays with them and make sure they have what they need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they need something they ll come to us and we can raise the money for that and get them whatever thing it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes survivors have a particular interest that they d like to pursue as a career and OUR provides them with education that they need in order to be successful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes they need computers or three or four of the survivors say, we want to be chefs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That happened in Mexico." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we went and found the best chef in town and hired him to do classes Tuesdays and Thursdays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He d come into the home and teach them to prepare, you know, high-end food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Both those girls ended up graduating the program and got jobs as sous chefs at these awesome restaurants in Mexico." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not always about the number of kids you save and impacting a lot of lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s just about one or two." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen as Tim shares the surprising result of one of his missions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went undercover, pretending to be a buyer, and I walked into this false orphanage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was advertised as an orphanage, but it wasn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just a place where traffickers kidnapped and held children and sold them for $10,000, $15,000 to pedophiles, to slave owners, to organ harvesters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember walking into this place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "believing that this little boy was here and I was going to find him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had cameras in my body, I had cameras in my sunglasses, and we were working with Haitian law enforcement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We went in undercover and I was looking for the little boy that was lost, that had been kidnapped." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We knew that he had been here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was told by the police, if they offer children, buy one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s how you do a sting operation, get the evidence, and then we ll liberate everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m at this point where I m in the operation and I m looking for what kid to pick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think it matters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just as I m looking, there s this beautiful child." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s about one and a half years old, two years old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He just turns to me almost like he heard my thoughts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He turns to me and puts his arms up and walks up to me and I pick up this little boy and I realize, I don t know, I feel like God was telling me he s the one I m supposed to buy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He picked me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I take this little boy and I walk into one of the dark outbuildings on the premises of this horrible place while my colleague was out doing an undercover negotiation with the traffickers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m looking for more kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a camera that I m trying to pick up in my backpack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to pick up all the faces, all the kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m holding this little boy in my arms and I walk in and the deeper I get into the building, the darker it gets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the quieter it gets, and only then can I hear what was always right behind me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was the footsteps of another child." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I flip around and there before me is this little girl, probably three years old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she has this big gash over her eye, which I knew was from the abusive situation she was in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The thing that startled me was how she looked at me with like this ferociousness in her eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All these kids are starving, little protruding tummies, grays in their eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I give her a candy bar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s probably never seen a candy bar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, go outside and eat this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can have this if you go outside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Kids are supposed to respond to that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At least my kids do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this little girl didn t respond." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She took the candy bar, still looking at me like she was going to rip my head off, breaks the candy bar in half and puts the other half into the hands of the little boy in my arms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s when it hit me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m holding her little brother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how many people that look like me walked into this place, picked up a child, and that child was never seen or heard of again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s why she was doing this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I immediately recognized my error and I put the little boy down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She grabs the little boy and rips him out of my arms and puts him behind her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she s still ready to fight me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I knelt down and I broke the cardinal rule of undercover operations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only time I ever did it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I told that little girl who I was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s an old soul, this little girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she softened and she understood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, I m not here to hurt you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m here to help you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to get you guys out of here, but I need you to help me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need you to do everything I tell you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she agrees, and she does it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so she plays along with this, and I know she knows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we end up buying these two kids in a sting operation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We get them out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then afterwards, the little boy we looked for was never there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re still looking for him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I called my wife that night, and I told her the story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I said, you won t believe this little girl and what she did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my wife just had this moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a spiritual moment for her, and she d tell me later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But she said something that just shocked me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She said, I want to be their mother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just left my federal job and we re running a nonprofit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Statistically, we ll be out of business in six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was the very first operation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We didn t have any money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can t afford to adopt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she said, I want to be their mother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so those are the two kids we end up adopting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as I ve tracked this little girl, it took us three years to actually get her out, get them out and get them adopted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But she had this amazing thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I understood where that power came from when she was protecting her little brother." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every time we would bring toys or treats to the orphanage over three years," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The one constant with this little girl is that she would never keep anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She couldn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She would be the first in line to get the toys, but only so she could pass them out to her friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even though her friends already had an abundance, she left with nothing and she sat back and she was the happiest when she had nothing and just watched everyone so happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I realized something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was Toni that actually brought this principle around to teach me what she had learned on her own, which is something Toni says, the secret to living is giving." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was Toni that taught me that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was at his house, actually, and I was asking him why he is so charitable, because he s way more charitable than every other person that I work with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he said, don t you know the secret to living is giving?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, what does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he explained this amazing science behind what happens to the brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He showed me research that when you give, you actually there s a chemical reaction in your brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of a sudden you have this ability to be a person of light and you have courage, you have hope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s this beautiful thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s connected to heaven and God and all these things that are amazing miracles that happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I recognized that s what this little girl understood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She didn t read the research." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She didn t need to talk to Tony." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She figured it out because she lived in hell." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she had to be at two years old, sister and mother to a baby." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the only adults in her life were trying to hurt them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She learned how to protect herself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what gave her the courage to look me down and stare me down and will me to turn her brother back over to her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s what allows her to manipulate every other situation to keep them alive in the dark orphanage and even in the other orphanage, which was not a happy place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She just gives and gives and gives, and then she s filled with light." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The greatest blessing was adopting two children who we rescued, because it s just every day in my face in a good way about what can happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes I just weep when I think of the trajectory that my kids were on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where they would have ended up if there hadn t been an intervention, nothing worse on earth or hell than where they were heading." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They would have been bought by an organ harvester or a pedophile." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where they would have been." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead, they re the happiest kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we adopted those kids, we had seven at that point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so they made eight and nine, and they are just completely part of the family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re just loved by everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They love everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes I just sit back when I watch them laugh and play, and I just weep happy and sad tears, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Happy because I know where they are, and the other 3,500 kids are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but then also tears of sadness that are frankly motivating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to keep going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to dig harder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to dig deeper and let this happen for other people too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The nature of Tim s work is extremely difficult." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a live witness to the worst part of humanity can certainly take a toll on a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Tim, despite the darkness he encounters, is able to see the light." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what keeps him going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was a government agent, the only part we were exposed to was the dark." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Going in, extracting the bad guys." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our job wasn t to do aftercare, someone else did that, so we have to come out and didn t know ever what happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The funding came in through government sources, so it was just a faceless source from which the money came." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it was kind of this dark cycle, and people don t last more than a couple years, and they tap out of this work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I started OUR, I found something I didn t expect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, the darkest part of humanity was still there, still present, still looked and smelled and felt the same way it did my whole career." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But because we are now a private organization that looks to the public for help, all of a sudden I get to see not only the darkest people, but the lightest people, the most amazing people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They come into your life and they become the light that sustains you, honestly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "people that are willing to shed their innocence and get in the dark with you and bring the light and give you the light so you can take it to the dark corners." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Roger saves us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Me, it saves me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve met the most amazing people on the planet, like Tony and Sage, and others who were willing to stand up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony and Sage Robbins have been the largest financial supporters of Operation Underground Railroad to date." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for Tony s 60th birthday, they re hosting a benefit concert with 100% of net proceeds going to the organization." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The goal is to raise enough money to rescue 10,000 children from sex slavery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s possible with your help." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tony has dedicated his life to making an impact on others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the absolute best way to celebrate a man who has given so much is through support of this cause, which he cares so deeply about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To purchase your ticket to the benefit concert on February 29th, 2020 in Los Angeles, or to make a donation to OUR, go to www.tonyrobbinsbday.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s www.tonyrobbinsbday.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our guest today was Tim Ballard, founder of Operation Underground Railroad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the incredible work that they do, go to OURRescue.org." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s OURRescue.org." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"" ]
11,759
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change your question, change your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to planning your life, I want to get you to learn to ask three questions now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first one is not, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The question you want to ask yourself is, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s my outcome?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s my result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first one is to get you focused on the target." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The target is not the activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The activity can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s what s the result I m after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you know exactly what it is you really want, what you desire, what you re really after, clarity is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more clear you are on specifically what you want, the faster your brain can get you there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the system that Tony personally developed to make a plan for his life and create his $6 billion business empire, write bestselling books, travel the world for his events, and still have the time and energy to spend quality time with the people he loves most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a special offer for podcast listeners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash RPM and use the promo code POD20 to receive $20 off the Rapid Planning Method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash RPM." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The discount code is POD20." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first step is you ve got to have a vision for what it is you really truly want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something has the power to pull you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Push requires willpower and willpower never lasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What will last is having something so exciting, so attractive, something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night, you get up early in the morning, do a rocket and take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season where we explore the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of a new year, like health, productivity, career, relationships, and their finances." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, we re taking a look at one thing that s top of mind for most people, money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Money is what makes the world go round, and it s also what stresses a lot of us out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, 85% of Americans say they worry about their financial situation, whether it s mounting debt, not having enough money set aside for unexpected expenses, or having enough to retire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even when we do feel financially comfortable, we have enough money to meet our needs, pay our bills, save for our future, and even accumulate wealth, one thing remains true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having more money does not guarantee happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this episode, we re talking to Liz Weston, a financial planner and columnist at NerdWallet, who s going to give you practical tips about how to save more money, pay off debt, and get ahead, so you can focus on making progress in other areas of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But before we do, here s Tony on the meaning of true wealth and why it s important to consider that meaning as you build it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, what do we want when we say we want money?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want little pieces of paper with pictures of deceased notables?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think so, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want what you think money s gonna give you, freedom or security or opportunities for your family or the ability to contribute to other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, money can be portable power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Money can be a lot of things, but it s, what if we make it up?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost like a shapeshifter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever you throw in money, it s what it becomes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always tell people money doesn t change people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes you more of what you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re mean and you got a lot of money, you got more to be mean with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re truly generous and that s your nature and you have more money, you ll be more generous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s more resources that are coming through you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But to me, really what we re talking about in real wealth is what is it that makes you feel truly abundant?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes you feel totally alive?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s life on your terms look like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people s idea of wealth is a beautiful home with a white picket fence and three beautiful children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people s idea of extraordinary life is writing beautiful poetry or growing a garden or building a multi-billion dollar business and employing people and producing resources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no right or wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The question is, what s going to light you up?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I can t tell you how many people, including billionaires, I interviewed 50 of them over a period of three years, three and a half years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would not say they all aren t happy because that s totally not true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can be rich and happy, you can be poor and you can be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always tell people problems and happiness have no relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So really we re talking about true wealth is between your ears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s your brain and your heart working together and it s defining what is life on your terms look like and then putting a plan in place that really makes that happen and then making sure you re truly enjoying along the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The challenge is we all have a two billion year old brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not trained to make you happy, your brain is trained to make you survive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So survival means I got to look for what s wrong all the time, be prepared for it so I can fight it or flight from it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in reality, we don t have a saber tooth tiger to fight off anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now people get stressed even when they have money because they think about what are people thinking of me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do I have enough money when the average American who s in dire straits, and I don t want to see anybody in dire straits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feed 100 million people a year for the last two years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to feed a billion people through my partnership in Feeding America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I also know that if you re in poverty in this country, you re in the 1% of financial people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not the 99%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re 1% of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the resources are available, but what we don t do is appreciate it enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We let little stuff stress us out and big stuff stress us out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you don t just wait till someday when you have a certain amount of money and then you re happy, because a lot of people get that amount of money and then they go, is it still enough?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or what don t I have?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or what s happening with my family?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They still find a way to be stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So money s not the solution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a vehicle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we use it right, it can enhance the quality of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we ve also got to control these two things, the head and heart, in order to have the quality of life that we really deserve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "True wealth means something to everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have our own idea of what an extraordinary quality of life is going to be and what financial freedom is going to help us to do and achieve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you figure out what true wealth means to you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Toni again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You sat down and said, what does life look like on my terms?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would my ideal vision for my life be like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you took five or 10 minutes, I do with people all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people with just a little bit of prodding or a little bit of state change, you know, where they re not in their head, most people can start to list out what they d want for their life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I found is life on your terms, you know, extraordinary life, whatever it is, you need two master skills to really achieve that quality of life and sustain it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like anybody can get rich." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Staying rich is a different thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I say rich, I don t just mean financial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean emotional, spiritual, physical, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the two skills are, number one is the science of achievement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The science of achievement, I call it science of achievement because it is a science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anyone who applies the principles of science can get the same result." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a science to wealth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I wrote Money Master the Game and Unshakeable, I said, okay, instead of me doing this from my perspective, I ve worked with Paul Tudor Jones, one of the top ten financial traders in the history of the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A guy that in 1987 when the market dropped 22% in a day made 200% for his clients that year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know a lot, but what if I go to everybody?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if I dig under everybody and find out what it is?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I found was all these people invested in different ways, but there were certain fundamental things in common." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Same thing with health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone is biochemically unique, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But at the same time, there s certain fundamentals that you and I, while we re unique, if we violate those rules, it s a science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to have disease or low energy dis-ease in your body, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you align with them, you re going to have abundance of energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to have passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to have intensity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to have that physical vitality that can make you even more successful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a science to achievement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you said, what does it take to achieve?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The kind of person who wants to read a book like this, who goes to a seminar, they re always looking for the edge because that s what made them the best in the world at what they do or really great at what they ve done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there are three fundamentals I can tell you at the most basic level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about something and maybe in your own life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think of what s something in your life today that once was a dream or a goal or seemed impossible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think all of us have that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it could have been something as simple as growing up and maybe a car represented, especially for a lot of guys, a car was that first symbol of I ve achieved something at a certain level, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you got that car, and it seemed impossible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or the job, or starting your own business, or a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What seemed difficult or impossible or seemed beyond, you now live." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people don t even take those things for granted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The law of familiarity is the thing we also have to watch out for if we want to be fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because the law of familiarity says, if you re around anything enough," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it tended to get just a little bit for granted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You got that brand new car, it was so exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That new car smell, you drove by the plate class windows in the bank and saw yourself there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you get your first scratch, and your brain goes, my God, I can t believe this, and you re so upset, but you have to get over it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you try to forget about it, and it s so painful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you get your second scratch, by the time you get your fourth scratch, it s a car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, it s changed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So familiarity gets in the way of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always tell people, if you look at the most basic key to achievement, it s that you become obsessed about something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start to think about it constantly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start to desire it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In other words, you focus on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Focus is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wherever focus goes, energy flows." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so most people are focused on what they don t want instead of what they do want, so they experience more of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you get obsessed about something, you can t stop thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your brain kicks into gear to try to figure out how to do that, even if you don t have a plan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people have said, what s something you couldn t get out of your head, you wanted it so bad it seemed impossible, and yet somehow it came together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason is there s a part of our brain, it s called the RAS, reticular activating system, big words, called RAS for short." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the part of your brain that notices things, that there s millions of things going on around you, millions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s pulsation in your ear, you don t think about it to mention, the skin touching your clothing, the people walking by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the RAS only makes you look at the things that really matter most." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So an example would be if you buy a car or you buy an outfit, and suddenly you see that car outfit everywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those cars and outfits were always all around you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now your RAS says, I own one of this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you see it everywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the same thing s true when you say, I want this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I desire this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain can start to create a plan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s step one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two is really fundamental." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you get by without it, but usually it takes massive action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you dream about it, you put your focus in it, you want it, all of a sudden your brain goes crazy, you start reading the book, you talk to people, you ask resources, you go on the web, you do the research." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you take massive action strongly enough and you keep changing your approach when it doesn t work, if you flex your approach," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you ll find what s effective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So step one is obsess, get totally focused, unleash your desire, that gives the energy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two is not waiting, it s massive action, keep changing your approach until you find effective execution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re running east looking for a sunset, I don t care how positive you are, you re not going to see the sunset, it s just not going to happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you got to have a proven strategy and you can get there faster." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you have that plan and keep changing your approach, I always tell people, how long would you give your average kid to learn how to walk?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "before you turn to the kid and said, dude, it s never gonna happen, you re not a walker, just give it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People go, you re crazy, my kid s gonna keep trying until." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s really step two, you keep changing your approach until you find it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the third step to achievement really is as simple as it may sound, if you re obsessed, you know what you want, you re taking massive action, maybe you modeled somebody, figured out the right action so you get there quicker and you re executing, you still need a little grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people call it luck, they call it God," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really believe that there s the part we do, and then there s the part that comes to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do know grace shows up a lot more when you do the first two steps on your own." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And grace shows up a lot more when you acknowledge grace in your life, when you acknowledge that I was born in a world where I didn t have to build this internet that I can pull out of my pocket and answer anything on earth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m driving on streets I didn t pave." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m reading books I didn t have to write." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the gift of our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when we experience that grace, we don t just experience more achievement, but we start to experience more fulfillment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You might ve heard reports that a recession is right around the corner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So how can you grow your wealth even during a time of economic uncertainty?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now, more than ever, Americans are becoming increasingly worried about an economic recession." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "In fact, despite the strong economy we re currently in, two thirds of adults fear a downturn could come in 2020." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You might remember 2008 when the financial crisis ravaged the global economy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You may have lost money or your whole retirement, or maybe you were just entering the workforce and couldn t find a job because companies weren t hiring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s easy to become anxious because it sounds like the sky is about to fall." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Instead of living in fear about what could happen, prepare for it instead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "As Tony says, anticipation is power." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And there are four strategies that most of the world s greatest financial minds have used to grow their wealth over time, even through bad economies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tony calls them the core four." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And while everybody, of course, has a different financial situation, these simple strategies apply to everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tony explains the core four in his New York Times bestselling book, Unshakeable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Unshakeable is a step-by-step playbook that can transform your financial life, no matter your salary, stage of life, or level of wealth, and outlines how to put together a simple, actionable financial plan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "To kick off the new year, Tony is offering podcast listeners a free hardcover copy of Unshakeable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You just pay shipping and handling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Go to www.unshakeable.com to order your copy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You just heard Tony talk about the psychology behind growing your wealth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But what if it s hard to make ends meet on a daily basis?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if you re struggling to pay off debt, pay your rent, or save money for the future?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We talked to Liz Weston, a personal finance columnist for NerdWallet, to talk about how you can get the most out of your paycheck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "She is a certified financial planner and the author of five books about money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You might have seen her on TV shows like NBC Nightly News and The Today Show, and the articles she s written published in the Associated Press and the LA Times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Here she is with five saving tips that you can implement immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But first, a quick disclaimer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The opinions and content of all hosts or guests and any products, solutions, or services are not the opinions, recommendations, or positions of Robbins Research International, aka RRI, implied or otherwise, and RRI does not guarantee any results or returns based on the information received from any guests, content, products, or services." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This podcast is for educational use only." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There is no expressed or implied guarantee that any actions recommended apply to your specific situation in the present or at any later time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is not the intention of this podcast, Anthony Robbins, or any guest on this podcast to recommend any specific financial advisor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You must choose your own competent financial advisor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the most important thing to keep in mind is willpower is overrated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s tough to make those decisions every month." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, now I m gonna save, now I m gonna save." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A much better approach is to automate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Set it up so the money is coming out of your paycheck or the money that s coming in without you even being aware of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s how 401ks work, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The money comes out of your paycheck, you don t even see that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Try that with your other savings as well, your emergency savings or saving for a down payment, whatever you re doing, set aside that chunk of money, either every week, every paycheck, every month, however you do it, have it automatic, it will just be gone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And another important approach is to hide the money from yourself a little bit, out of sight, out of mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you have the money at a different bank than where you have your checking account, that alone can really help." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at NerdWallet, we have recommendations for online banks where you can funnel your money" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You set up these automatic transfers, they go in and you don t see it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like to name the money as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m telling you to automate it, hide it and name it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have little nicknames on all these little sub accounts on my online bank." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s money by putting aside for the holidays, for vacations, for property taxes and insurance, the boring stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but it s all set, it s all in one place, and it s all labeled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it kind of helps with the temptation to go in there and take the money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it s labeled for vacation, you re not gonna wanna take it for something else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s using a behavioral quirk called mental accounting to actually work for you instead of work against you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You put these labels on the money, and then you know what it s for." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A couple other things you can do is to lock it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why one of the reasons that 401ks are so successful is there s a penalty for taking that money out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you know that penalty is there, you re aware of it, it can help you keep your hands off the money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you think about it in terms of savings, you could lock up your money in a certificate of deposit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t pay a whole lot, but there is a penalty if you try to take that money out too early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, my favorite little hack is something a girlfriend taught me, which is she went through all of her spending and she looked for places where she could save." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She cut a bunch of subscriptions she wasn t using." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She called her cable company and got a better rate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She negotiated better rates on their cell phones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of just letting this money go back in her checking account and spending it, she totaled it all up and then set up an automatic transfer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that amount of money would go out of her checking account into her savings." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she diverted it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are the five things that I suggest people do, that they automate it, they hide it, they name it, they lock it up if necessary, and they divert it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So if you make the commitment to saving money, you automate it and you figure out the best place to put it, how do you know how much to save for things like retirement and emergency funds?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At NerdWallet, we recommend that people save 15 percent of their income for retirement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a huge amount for some people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re going to take a look at that and there s no way I can t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The reality is you need to start somewhere, even if it s one or 2%, and move up from there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we just want you to get started." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to go to 15% right away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, that 15% can include your company match, which can help a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, if you want to retire early, you might have to save even more than 15%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s sort of where we have people aim in general." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s lots of ways to boost it over time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some 401ks these days have an automatic escalation feature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In other words, you sign up for, say, one or two or 3% now, and every year, every quarter, whatever, they pop it up another percentage point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or you can commit to saving half your next raise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re getting a 3% or 4% raise, save 1.5% or 2% of that and just set it aside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That way the money is coming out in the future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not coming out of your paycheck that you have today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we know that we re much better at saving money in the future than we are actually doing it in real time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So using those little tricks can help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s retirement savings, and that s really important, but you also need some money for dealing with the day-to-day stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can call that an emergency fund, ready-to-day fund, whatever the label that you want to attach to it, but it s basically savings for stuff that comes up, the unexpected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You hear sometimes people saying that they need three months worth of expenses or six months worth of expenses or a year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s kind of crazy for most people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to take a few years to build up to that level of savings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even three months worth of savings can take an average family about two years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you don t want to put off a bunch of other more important stuff like paying off debt, saving for retirement, taking care of your life today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we recommend is that you start with a mini emergency fund." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "500 bucks is enough to get started." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot of little emergencies that pop up that are about that amount." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You also might have heard the Federal Reserve say that four out of 10 adults can t come up with $400 for an emergency." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re putting it a little bit beyond that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make your first goal $500 to make sure you do have that cash." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your next goal can be $2,000." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the size of the typical big economic shock that happens to most families, according to Pew Research." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So $2,000 is your second goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then your next goal after that can be the one month savings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then once you have that, you can build up from there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The key part of all of this is to keep going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of people puts money aside for an emergency." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The emergency happens, the money s gone, and they think they failed somehow because the money isn t there any longer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is not a goal where you have this one number and you hit it and you stay there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a rinse and repeat kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You put the money aside, you use it, you put it aside, you use it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just try to build up over time rather than think you re going to be hitting that three months worth target right out of the gate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Retirement emergency funds are the top two, but people have lots of other goals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you want to buy a house, for example, you need to save at least some money for that down payment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you ve got kids, you should strongly think about putting something aside for their college education, because we re seeing how education makes a huge difference in terms of who s staying in the middle class and moving up and who isn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it doesn t have to be a four-year degree necessarily, and you certainly don t have to pay for all of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But just putting a little money aside has shown that that actually encourages kids to consider and to follow through and to actually go to college." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So even if it s just 25 bucks per month per kid, you put it in a 529 plan, that s a college savings plan, you get that set up, again, make it automatic so you don t have to think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you start hitting up your relatives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So instead of buying the kids a lot of plastic toys, how about a little contribution to the 529?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So saving money is one thing, but what about spending money that you don t have?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to the Federal Reserve, consumer credit card debt has reached $1.1 trillion, with each American household carrying an average of nearly $7,000." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether you re above that average or below it, debt is something you want to get ahead of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Liz with some tips on how you can pay off your debt and what to focus on first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When people really realize how much debt they have and they panic, they often do the wrong thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we want people to do is step back and take a look at their whole financial situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we talk about retirement savings all the time at NerdWallet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you ve got a company match in your 401k, you need to be taking advantage of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is free money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So don t walk past that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s something that s super important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also that starter emergency fund that I talked about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Having a little bit of emergency money is really important because that can keep you from" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "continuing to dig." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, when you re in debt, you need to stop digging and stop going farther down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Having that little bit of an emergency fund can help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So once you ve got the match, once you ve got the starter emergency fund, then you look for your toxic debt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your toxic debt is the stuff that s high interest rate, variable interest rate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s stuff like credit cards, payday loans, title loans, anything with a high interest rate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the debt you should be focusing on and getting rid of first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there are a couple of ways you can approach it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One is you can target the smallest debt first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That gives you the sense of accomplishment that can keep you going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re the mathematical type, if you like spreadsheets, you re an engineer or whatever, the highest interest rate debt is the one that you want to go for first, because that will get you out of debt faster." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So pick the approach that works, target that debt, pay the minimums on the other stuff, and just throw as much money as you can into paying down those toxic debts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After that, it s going to be a matter of balancing your other financial requirements." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you probably need to be saving more for retirement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need to be thinking about saving for the kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need to be thinking about down payment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All those other goals come into play once you get that toxic debt out of your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t really need to be in a huge rush to pay off a mortgage or student loans, typically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those are not super high rate debt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of times they have a tax advantage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s not something you need to sweat for most people, getting that paid off in a hurry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a toxic debt that we want people to concentrate on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One thing that s important to keep in mind is that sometimes there are levels of debt that are simply unmanageable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are some debts that no honest man can pay, to quote Bruce Springsteen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you ve got a debt level where your debts are taking up more than 40% of your income to pay, and that s including your shelter, your rent, or your mortgage, if you re at that level now and you re struggling," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re borrowing from one debt to pay another, like from one credit card to pay another, if you re getting called by collection agencies, you might be at that point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We typically say if your total debt equals 50% or more of your income, that s a bad sign." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now it s possible you can dig your way out, but most likely you re gonna need some other debt solution, whether it s bankruptcy, credit counseling, something like that to help you get out of the situation that you re in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With the rise of subscription services, targeted advertising, and one-click purchasing, now more than ever, it s easier to spend online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like everyone from millionaires to broke college students are wondering, where is all of my money going?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Liz again with some practical tips on how to curb the temptation of spending money online when you don t have the budget for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Keep in mind that everyone around you is trying to move towards frictionless spending." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They want to make it easier for you to spend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you kind of have to be smarter than the tactics that are being thrown at you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just think about Amazon, that one-click spending." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything that takes the friction out is going to make it easier for you to have the impulse and then act on it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what you need to do is put some barriers between the impulse and the actual act of buying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in terms of your online buying, don t do the one click." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make sure it does take a little bit of effort to go through and that you can take a little time to look at what s in your basket and go, do I really need that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might even have a cooling off period, a formal cooling off period." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve heard from a lot of people that have either a three day, a week long, even a three week cooling off period between when they put that thing in the basket and when they actually pull the trigger on it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of times you ll come back in a couple of days and you don t even want that thing anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So again, putting some roadblocks is really important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe take a look at where you re spending your time online, since that s where a lot of shopping is happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you going to sites that are pushing you to spend?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of sites make money if you click through and buy whatever the thing they re recommending is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re spending a lot of time on those sites." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re facing a lot of temptations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also go through your email." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What kind of newsletters are coming into your in basket?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this something that you really need to be looking at all the time or is it just encouraging you to buy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once you start looking around and actually seeing how often you re being pitched, it s a little bit unnerving, but you do have to take positive steps to try to get some of that out of your life to put that barrier between you and the impulse to spend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve ever been trying to pay off debt or save money, you can probably sympathize with this scenario." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you get a year-end bonus of $1,000." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could use that money to build your emergency fund, pay down a credit card balance, or even put it into a 529 college savings plan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you could also use it to pay for a weekend getaway with your partner or buy yourself something really nice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After all, you haven t had the money to treat yourself in a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you make the choice between investing in your future versus investing in life right now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something right in front of you that you know you ll enjoy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The whole point of financial planning and having a financial plan for your life is that you have some balance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re able to enjoy your life now, as well as, you know, pay off the past and save for the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it is definitely something that you have to work to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think most people come out with an absolutely balanced financial plan right off the bat, or they probably wouldn t be listening to this podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, what we tell people at NerdWallet, we really like the 50-30-20 budget." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this means that you take your after-tax income and 50% of that is what goes to your must-have expenses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That would be shelter, utilities, food, child care, insurance, minimum loan payments, the stuff you have to pay or there s a significant and real downside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not something you can put off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those must-haves, if you keep those to about 50% of your after-tax income, that leaves you enough room to do" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the wants and the saving and debt payment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So 20% is for savings and for debt repayment, extra payments on those loans and payments for 401ks and emergency saving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the 30% is your wants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the fun stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the travel, clothes, eating out, really enjoying your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first did this, I think we had 75 or 80 percent of our after tax income was going towards the needs side." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that s unusual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of people are way out of balance there because they don t know what to spend when they re out there getting their first apartment or, you know, buying a car or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s way out of balance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you feel it because you can t live your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t save the way you want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t pay debt the way you want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, what s going on?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why we recommend this 50, 30, 20." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It works across all kinds of different situations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with that 30 percent, you can actually live your life and not worry about stinting something else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re taking care of everything else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re way out of balance, though, it can take a while to get there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it s that wants category that has to be sacrificed because you still want to be saving for retirement." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You still want to be saving for emergencies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and paying off the debt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sometimes that wants to get squeezed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But once you get that budget in balance, it s going to feel great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You actually have the money to do some fun things and know that you re taking care of the future as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today s guest was Liz Weston, a certified financial planner and columnist at NerdWallet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To hear more from her, look her up on NerdWallet at www.nerdwallet.com." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change your question, change your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to planning your life, I want to get you to learn to ask three questions now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the first one is not, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The question you want to ask yourself is, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s my outcome?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s my result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first one is to get you focused on the target." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The target is not the activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The activity can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s what s the result I m after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you know exactly what it is you really want, what you desire, what you re really after, clarity is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more clear you are on specifically what you want, the faster your brain can get you there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the system that Tony personally developed to make a plan for his life and create his $6 billion business empire, write bestselling books, travel the world for his events, and still have the time and energy to spend quality time with the people he loves most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a special offer for podcast listeners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash RPM and use the promo code POD20 to receive $20 off the Rapid Planning Method." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash RPM." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The discount code is POD20." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first step is you got to have a vision for what it is you really truly want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something has the power to pull you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Push requires willpower and willpower never lasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What will last is having something so exciting, so attractive, something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night, you get up early in the morning to a rocket and take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season where we explore the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of new year, like health, productivity, personal finance, career, and of course, relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to relationships, so many people think that there s some sort of finish line, that once you finally find your person, you ve somehow made it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in reality, it s just the beginning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Relationships, like any area of your life, require attention, intention, and mindfulness in order to thrive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And who among us doesn t want a wildly passionate, intimate relationship in which we re challenged, cherished, and cheered on?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you put the work in, when you actively engage yourself in your relationship, and focus on becoming the best partner you can be, on giving all that you can to your partner, you ll discover a love like you ve never known." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this episode, we re talking to Dr. Cheryl Fraser." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s a clinical psychologist, a sex therapist, Buddhist teacher, author, and speaker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, she s spoken to Tony s platinum partners at his relationship seminar in Maui." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dr. Fraser has conducted extensive research on behavior in relationships and on what causes them to succeed or fail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She helps couples around the world cut through the resistance and reignite the connection they think they ve lost." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Dr. Fraser as she explains the three components that make up a truly exceptional relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A healthy relationship is not an accident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People tend to wait around, waiting for things to get better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And let s face it, we re all really good at falling in love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Any idiot can fall in love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Falling in love is easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Staying in love takes mindfulness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When we re falling in love, we ve got all this interest and charge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re intentional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We want to impress the person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We want to dazzle their world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think of it sometimes that, you know, falling in love, the feelings are so fantastic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re like a Rottweiler who gets given a squeaky squirrel toy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We jump on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We clamp down on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to feel this way forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Falling in love is easy, staying in love takes mindfulness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The exceptional couples who have a passionate, deep, emotionally connected, sexually and erotically alive, exciting love affair in the long term, that doesn t happen by accident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What makes an exceptional relationship?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Exceptional couples cultivate what I call the three keys to passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I suggest you visualize it as a triangle, the passion triangle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is an equilateral triangle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ideally, what we do is we re strong in all three of these keys to passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first one is intimacy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second one is thrill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the third one is sensuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So imagine a triangle with all three sides strong, that s an exceptional couple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now what do I mean here by intimacy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean the psychological, emotional, connected communication aspect, the friendship aspect of a great love affair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is where we manage conflict reasonably effectively." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We apologize and repair well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have a deep friendship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re truly intrigued and interested in our sweetheart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We care about what s going on in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we feel connected and like our sweetheart has got our back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most couples in a long term relationship are pretty strong in intimacy, but they may be weak in the following two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Again, these are the three keys to passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Intimacy is the first." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second is thrill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This one s a little ineffable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Again, when we re falling in love, we ve got all the hormones, biochemistry, hopes, dreams, and romantic, insane, and unrealistic projections going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s really easy to be fascinated with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thrill is the butterflies in the stomach, the rushes of erotic attraction, the excitement, and the laser-focused interest in you I had when we were falling in love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How you doing on that these days?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you ve been together for five years, 15 years, are you excited when your sweetheart comes home?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or does the dog barrel to the front door and jump up and down and freak out and you sit in the living room and go, hey, where are you in terms of showing thrill?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second of the three keys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first key, intimacy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second key, thrill, and the third key, yum, yum, yum, sensuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And by there, I don t simply mean sexuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean literally all your five senses, how you relate to your sweetheart through your body and your voice, through touch, sound, smell, through all of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sensuality covers the entire spectrum of the erotic and the special way we relate to our partner, whether that s holding hands when we walk the dogs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "whether that s having my hand on the back of your neck when you re driving us to our appointment, and the entire realm of sexual and erotic contact, from a passionate kiss goodnight to a warm hug hello, to the simple, sweetest, soul-shaking lovemaking, and to the wildest, sexiest, taboo, raw, hanging off the rafters kind of sexual contact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "intimacy, thrill, and sensuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Strong, amazing, exceptional couples have a good dose of all three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What I ask each of us to do right now is briefly do a quick internal check on you and your relationship these days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where are you on the passion triangle?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are you strong in intimacy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But like the majority of longer term couples, you may be strong in intimacy, but pretty weak in thrill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, mediocre in sensuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t make love very often and it s not very exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I call that marriage incorporated and I would say it s kind of the number one long-term relationship doldrums." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Marriage incorporated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re approaching our love affair and our family like a business, not on purpose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We kind of fall into that over time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re doing a pretty darn good job of marriage incorporated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We high-five each other in the hallway when you re taking Billy off to Taekwondo and I m taking our daughter to her activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The bills get paid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re building some equity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve got a home that we feel good about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We go camping in the summer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re awesome parents and we re good friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thrill?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are you kidding me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m in fuzzy socks watching Netflix and you re like, hey, hey babe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, what, who are you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thrill can really die when you re in Marriage Incorporated and our sensual, sexual, erotic life can be very neglected, I sometimes say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the typical long-term relationship encounter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A, it tends to be infrequent, people making love maybe once every few weeks or once every few months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And B, I call it nipple, nipple, crotch, good night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a very simple routine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We do it over and over and there s very little thrill or creativity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what happens when you re unbalanced in the three keys to passion, intimacy, thrill, and sensuality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Too much intimacy is the death of desire as the brilliant Esther Perel says." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now conversely, quickly I ll mention, some people are really strong in sensuality and thrill and very weak in intimacy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They can only really connect and relate through sexual contact or adventure, going on trips, having fun, going to nightclubs, but they find it really hard to be deep and emotionally connected and develop meaning and depth and connection and communication." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s an unbalanced triangle as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exceptional relationships are not the result of falling in love with the right person, which is what we re often told." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In our society, there s a huge emphasis on who we choose to be with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And while that s extremely important, choosing the right person does not guarantee happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes much more than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about your own life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How s your health?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are things in your job or your business going?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s likely that if you re an achiever and you re not doing well in any of these areas, you ve held yourself accountable and taken action to improve the situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As Tony says, action is the most important key to any success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to Dr. Fraser," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "work in the exact same way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not happy or you re having challenges in your relationship and you re suffering, it s up to you to change it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here she is with more on that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of us accept that when it comes to our health and our weight and our fitness, that it s up to us ultimately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think most of us accept it when it comes to business, that it s up to us to create the change, to solve the problem, to bring the solution to the team, not wait around for the team to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But does this fall apart for a lot of us when it comes to our love relationship?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell you what, I can t tell you how many people over the years I ve heard say something along these lines." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If only my spouse was more romantic, why doesn t he or she take me on dates anymore?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or they say, you know, I guess the thrill s just gone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s just the way it is, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s what happens, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That thrill doesn t last forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen to the complete and utter lack of ownership, the passivity in those comments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The phrase I like to use is become passion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that it s up to each of us to become passion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it dovetails beautifully with the energy we hopefully bring to the rest of our lives, fitness, business, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s up to me to make my relationship great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s up to my mind to decide I m going to become the passion I am waiting around, waiting for you to bring to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, how about I step up and I create that change?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony uses this beautiful term here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He uses the term being a generous lover." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The term I use, which is basically identical in its meaning, is becoming an awakened lover." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can I awaken fully to my intimacy, thrill, and sensuality?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can I become passionate, actively bring these qualities to you, and be an extraordinary lover for you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lover s a verb." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The most important letter in that word is the R at the end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I be a lover instead of waiting around to feel like I m in love?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the story we make up in our mind when we re in a rough patch in our relationship?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "those real relationships are going to have multiple rough patches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do we start to go into an escape clause story about how well if it doesn t get better, then maybe I ll look for something else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it doesn t get better, maybe we re not meant to be with each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my goodness, I hate that phrase." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not meant to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Create the meaning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Choose to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Commit 100% to being an extraordinary lover." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never want to sound cavalier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like anything else we want to master, mastering ultimate relationship is going to take time, energy, effort, and intentionality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have a little exercise I d like to offer to everybody listening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "five minutes a day or so, and it will start to change the quality of your love affair by having you become intentional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My sweetheart and I try to do this every morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s got his cup of elite Ethiopian special blend coffee, and I ve got my lovely special blend" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "tea and we sit in the living room and we take a couple of minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll share with you actually our aspirations from this morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I call this setting loving intentions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we each quietly think takes about a minute or so what is an intention or aspiration I want to set about my relationship today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this morning we did that and I said okay I ll go first and I said today I intend to be very careful with" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "my voice and to be very careful about my voice sounding impatient when I m in a rush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to really focus today on a kind, loving tone of voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was mine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A little backstory, I m in the middle of a business launch right now and it s a very, very, very busy time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I get a little tired and it is possible that Cheryl the passion expert gets a little crabby." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have a very expressive voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that was my intention." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Simple, sweet, to the point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My sweetheart went next and to my delight, this is the one he came up with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, I want to create a special romantic event for my wife tonight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what my intention is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We go off for our days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not going to see each other for 10 hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We come back and we have the rest of our day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what we try to do, what I encourage you all to do, set an intention." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly, you can do this in two or three minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at the end of the day, hopefully together if that s possible, but you can do this on your own in the evening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Review for a minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How did I do on my intention today?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would review quickly and say, you know, was I impatient and snappy in my voice today or did I catch it and use a warm tone?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he would review his." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make love intentional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you want something great, it s not going to happen all by itself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve ever been in a romantic relationship, you know that conflict, whether you like it or not, is a part of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Human beings have conflict because we re different people with different opinions and different frames of reference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Conflict is inevitable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And according to Dr. Fraser, one of the most critical skills that couples can develop is to manage it well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, it s not about if we mess up, but when and what we can do about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Dr. Fraser again with some healthy and productive ways that you can approach conflict in your relationship when it arises." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me offer a couple of ideas for kind of mindful, loving, intentional ways to attempt to do a better job when we run into a difficult problem between the two of us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First, I ll talk about a way to start a difficult conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most of us really suck at this, myself included." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unless I bring intentionality and I catch myself before I bring up a difficult topic, I m upset about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to lodge a complaint about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m triggered about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do I bring it up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Research indicates that the first three minutes of a discussion, same as business, the first three minutes of a discussion tend to predict the outcome of the discussion to about an 80% level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meaning, if I phone the tech support that I m having trouble with, and I start, you know, it s not working, I come in, you know, hot and mean, generally, the call doesn t go well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We know this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But why do we forget when it comes to love?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s a very simple technique, not easy, but it s simple, on how to approach a difficult topic with skill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Set yourself up for a higher likelihood that the conversation can go okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll use a real simple example that happens to a lot of people, certainly happens to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which is we have certain chores or deals around the house that he s responsible for this, I m responsible for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of his is taking up the garbage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every two weeks where we are in the country, they pick up the garbage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you miss a garbage pickup, you end up with a lot of stinky garbage that s going to be around for four weeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you know where this is headed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, it is actually true that on occasion," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My dearly beloved chosen person forgets to take the garbage up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I notice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes in the past, maybe in the future, I hope not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been very unskillful in how I brought it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, for goodness sakes, you forgot the garbage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t count on you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get it together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the deal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do I have to do everything around here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sure nobody listening resonates with that little mimicry, do they?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, how would I bring that up in a skillful way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to review." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can you bring up a difficult topic in a skillful way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Very simple, elegant formula." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel X about Y and I need Z. So you forgot to take out the garbage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m pretty upset about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel frustrated that you forgot to take the garbage out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and I need you to be more aware and better at keeping that commitment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel X about Y, upset about the garbage, and I need Z, I need you to do a better job and be reliable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, you don t have to be Mary freaking Poppins here and have the joy voice of all time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re allowed to be upset or crabby, emotions and biochemistry happen, keep working on that, keep working on that nicer tone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the formula means that there s a possibility for success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel X about Y and I need Z. Try it right now if you can or later today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you each to think about a small or a large annoyance, disconnect, argument or conflict you had with your sweetheart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do this with a work issue as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want you to think, how could I have brought it up using this formula?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel X about Y and I need Z. And see what that s like and then try it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might relate to some of these things that Dr. Fraser has been talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re arguing with your partner a lot, you ve lost the passion, or you re experiencing marriage incorporated, where you re running your relationship like a business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know that you re ready to improve your relationship for good, Date With Destiny can help." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Date With Destiny is Tony s favorite event, and it s the one that you might have even seen in the Netflix documentary, I Am Not Your Guru." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the course of six days, you learn how to ignite or reignite your passion in all areas of your life, including your intimate relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have a special offer for podcast listeners." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Act now and you could get up to 45% off a Date with Destiny ticket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash destiny and enter the promo code DWD45 at checkout." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just heard from Dr. Cheryl" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who gave a framework of how to productively approach difficult conversations with your partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what do you do when you ve really messed up?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you had a really bad argument and said something hurtful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe you ve done something in your actions that has caused them pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For most people, the immediate reaction is to apologize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But according to Dr. Fraser, it s the way we apologize that s the key to moving forward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here she is with how you can be more mindful in your apologies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to teach you the art of the mindful apology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This takes both people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m going to set this up as though I have said something that has hurt you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now there s three steps to this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First, I deliver a specific apology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to tell you how to do that in a moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Second, you receive my apology and forgive me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And third, together we begin again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let me give a tiny bit of context for this because it s really important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Masterful couples take 100% responsibility for everything in their relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if I ve wronged you, I ve said something that s hurt your feelings, you take as much responsibility as I do for trying to get us back into alignment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mistake or your mistake has taken us out of alignment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not as connected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not in flow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not as trusting, open, deep, and vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And instead of sitting there metaphorically with your arms crossed saying, well, Cheryl hurt my feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She better fix this now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The idea is that we re both in this apology together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The one who delivers it, in this case, me, I ve made the error." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The one who receives it are equally important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you want excellence, follow this formula." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s say you said, hey, babe, are you coming to my baseball game tomorrow night?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, no, I don t want to come to your game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I think baseball is stupid and I think it s a waste of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not a very skillful thing to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re hurt by that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we re going to enter into me choosing to apologize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am not a fan of people just saying, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know that s a bit of a surprise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not a fan of people saying, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be pretty weak." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can toss off and I m sorry and nothing s going to change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I train people to do a three step, little three step process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I apologize to you, when I offer my apology to you, I m going to own my behavior." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to repair and I m going to vow to do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what might that sound like about the comment I made about your baseball game?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I might say, hon, look, I m really sorry I made this snide comment about your baseball game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That wasn t cool, wasn t kind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Boom, I m owning my behavior." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the part most people skip." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Secondly, I then offer my repair in the form of an apology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Usually, I m sorry I said it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t my best moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel badly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then boom, boom, boom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want to make change?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need to set goals and create change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by doing the following step, which is vowing to improve, I complete my behavior change intention." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ve said, I own it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve offered you my repair, my apology, and I m going to vow to do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I might say, Hey babe, I m really sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said that thing that was ignorant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was kind of mean of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sorry I said it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel badly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell you what, I think I can come to your game tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, it s not really my thing, but maybe your friend could teach me the game a bit while I watch and make it more fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause I do want to support what matters to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I vowed to do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, most of us think that was an epic apology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cheryl, you re the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can see why you re a love expert." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we d walk away considering it was done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, the receiver of the apology is equally important for us to be back in alignment, love and connection again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if the receiver goes, thanks and walks away, that s pretty good, but you can do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The person receiving the apology, I want to also do three steps." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to thank the person who s apologized to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to acknowledge what they ve done, and I want you then to accept, if you re ready, you can t then accept an apology you re not ready to take into your heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s okay, might take you a bit of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the person who wants to play baseball might say, hey, Cheryl, thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do appreciate you owning that, that s really great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it kind of bugged me and hurt my feelings and baseball s important to me and you re important to me and I d like you to come and I accept your apology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really do appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I m expressing here, it sounds again, really simple and very elegant, but it s hard to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I promise you, if you practice a mindful dual apology, where we re both taking responsibility for our happiness, where we re being awakened lovers, generous lovers, you will find you re able to repair hurts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we get to the third and final piece." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s the person offering, the person receiving, and then we begin again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Begin again in this present moment here and now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What happened before literally doesn t exist unless we choose to keep a story alive in our head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by doing that, from Buddhist philosophy, there s a story of we pick up a hot coal, what happens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we know what happens, it burns our hand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we hang on to the coal and we wonder why it keeps hurting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "let go, open your palm, let the hot coal fall to the ground." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is what we practice and rehearse over and over again with our love, which is letting go of the small and large ways we mess up, and beginning again fresh and clear in this present moment, because it s the only one we ve got." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in this present moment is ultimate, open, generous, non-defended love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we can just clear out the clouds and sink into the love that was already there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s one practical thing you can do to anchor this into action that will help you deliver on your vow to do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ve apologized to you and I vowed to do better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now vows, tricky thing, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The intention kind of floating around in space doesn t always come to fruition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what I d suggest there, if I vowed to do better by saying in this case, I m going to come to your game tomorrow night, I m going to try to learn more about baseball, that would be a terrific thing to feed into tomorrow morning when I do my mindful relationship intention with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re sitting with our coffee and tea and I say, okay, my relationship aspiration today is to come to your baseball game tonight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But more than that, it s to do it with a glad heart and to actually try to find something fun about baseball." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the beginning of this episode, you heard Dr. Fraser talk about the passion triangle and its three components that lead to an extraordinary relationship, intimacy, thrill, and sensuality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how does mindfulness play a part in each one of those crucial pieces?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how do we choose where to focus our attention?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here is Dr. Fraser again on how mindfulness can lead to a loving and passionate relationship that lasts a lifetime." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen closely because she s going to walk you through an exercise that can help you bring some of the excitement and thrill back into yours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve talked about intimacy and here again I define intimacy as the emotional, psychological, communication, conflict resolution, and friendship side of our passion triangle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve talked about bringing intentionality to how to approach a difficult conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and we ve talked about bringing intentionality on how to repair forgive and begin again when we ve messed up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The second side of the passion triangle I call thrill again those are those ineffable charged wonderful attraction interest feelings we get in the beginning of a relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now thrill is the trickiest side of the passion triangle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thrill is the quality that is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the most elusive for long-term couples." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Quite simply because thrill thrives on novelty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why falling in love is easy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything s new, exciting, and fresh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I want you to do a little tiny thought experiment right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s say you did wake up this morning in bed next to your partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe they re traveling or whatever, then think of the most recent time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you woke up, opened your eyes, looked over at your slumbering or waking sweetheart, what was the quality of interest?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the quality of curiosity?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, imagine it was the first or second morning they d ever woken up in your bed next to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was the quality of interest then?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was the quality of mindful mind that you brought when you woke up and this new love, this new lover was in your bed for one of the first times?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bingo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why it s hard to have thrill in the longterm because thrill thrives on novelty, on things being new." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s the thing though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mindfulness is 100% about showing up in this moment and experiencing this moment, this breath, this kiss, this conversation, as though it has never happened before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It literally hasn t happened before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine that we were able to give you right now, through the airwaves, a tiny sliver of the most exquisite Belgian chocolate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want you to imagine putting that on your tongue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and it melting, and it s soft, and it s gorgeous, and the flavor explodes in your mouth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, almost none of us are going to say, eh, it s a chocolate, I ve had a thousand of them before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Big deal, because we re enjoying the moment of this chocolate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t get bored with chocolate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re bored with your mate, it s because you re not bringing mindful interest to this fascinating human being that you have the profound pleasure to spend your life with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know why affairs happen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the most common reasons is that someone finds your" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "interesting again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They meet someone at a work function at lunch and that person s fascinated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re simply bringing the quality of novelty and interest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They like listening to your mate s stories instead of rolling their eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thrill and mindfulness are key together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I m going to find my beloved fascinating after 25 years, after 10 years, after a lifetime, it s my mind that I need to train." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to bring the mind of interest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re absolutely fascinating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I m bored with you it s because I m not training my mind to bring novelty and focus and mindfulness to who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the third side of the passion triangle where mindfulness is also very very key is sensuality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All things erotic and sensual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s some extraordinary and very important research showing that mindfulness, learning to focus directly on what s happening on a touch, on a moment, on a breath, training our mind to allow the busy cocktail party chaos in our mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine you re at a busy cocktail party and you and I are having a fascinating conversation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we automatically sort of phase out and blur out all the other noise, the laughter, the clinking glasses, the rock music on the stereo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We let it all fade into the background." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re still aware of it, but it fades in the background because we re bringing mindful, focused attention to our fascinating conversation with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine making love like that, touching like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The quality of bringing your mind into sensuality is what will light up your sensual and erotic life as though for the first time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unless you re driving, I want you to take a moment right now and close your eyes and do a" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "30-second exercise with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do it later if you re driving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want you to close your eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to take the fingers of one hand and focusing as deeply as you can on the touch sensation, I want you to gently stroke the top of your other hand with your fingertips." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want you to focus just for a few seconds as deeply as you can on what that touch sensation of finger stroking the back of the other hand feels like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What the majority of us experienced is that was way more intense than we thought it would be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Was it a super magic touch?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the simple quality of bringing mindful attention to the touch itself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you want to light up your sensual life, it s by bringing the mind in alignment with touch, with body, with lovemaking that will light things up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to share a beautiful little story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was a couple I was working with a couple years ago." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were in my office and this was a heterosexual couple in this instance and the woman was bringing forward a pain point for her, a complaint." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She said he never compliments me, he never says anything nice about how I look or my clothes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She said last night we were going to this gathering and I came out of the bedroom and I was wearing a new dress and makeup and hair and I really felt good and I know I looked great, I know I looked pretty and he didn t even seem to notice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I watched her guy and he kind of crumpled a little bit next to her on the couch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was subtle, but I saw it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He felt defeated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I started asking him his thoughts and he said, you know, of course I think she s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always think she s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was a man of few words." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Articulating his experience was not in his comfort zone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wasn t a good compliment giver." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I started digging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s got to be some gold in here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I asked him, you know, you say you think about her all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you give an example of a time you re thinking of her and what you do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, sure, that s why I bring her shoes in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was mildly puzzled, so I asked more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He then went on to say, they lived in a house that had an attached carport and the carport, of course, wasn t heated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was also their mudroom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They tended to leave their shoes and coats out there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what he went on to explain was every morning when she was in the shower he d go out and get her shoes from the carport, bring them into the house by the front door and of course I asked him why and he said well I don t want her to have to put her feet" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in cold shoes before she leaves the house to go to work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I watched and she melted a little bit because she heard the love and the attention and the thoughtfulness her guy had for her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, he wasn t good at giving compliments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The moral of the story, it s up to her which thing to focus on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you want to focus on the fact that he s not good at saying you look pretty" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you want to focus on the fact that he brings your shoes out of the cold carport every morning because he doesn t want you to have to put your feet in cold shoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a beautiful act of love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So as I sometimes joke, when your partner steps out of the shower in the morning, do you want to focus on their hairy back or focus on their radiant smile?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s completely up to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t change your mate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change your mind, change your focus, intentionally choose to look for what s working instead of what s not working and notice the increase in your openness, your heart, your attraction, and ultimately people, your happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If there was one thing I could offer for how to make this year to come and every year to come rich and deep and to develop your passion triangle to bring more depth, breadth, love, happiness, sensuality, and joy to your relationship, it s don t work on your relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you just say?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I mean is this, how many of us want to work on our relationship?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We work all the time on everything it seems." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that is not in contradiction to what I said at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to reframe the idea of working on your relationship and I want you instead to approach your relationship like a hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think about that for a sec." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are the qualities of a hobby?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I teach this to groups, I have them shout out, you know, what makes something a hobby as opposed to not a hobby?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And people say, well, a hobby is something you want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do it because it matters to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What else?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t get paid for your hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of us want to become better at our hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we re a potter or a golfer or a dancer," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We often study or take a class, work with an expert." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We want to continue to master and improve our skills at our hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We create time for our hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Please, please memorize that one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We create time for our hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We carve out time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We make it a priority." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That means intention, planning, prioritizing, valuing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make your love life a hobby this year and in the years to come." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where you apply your intentionality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where you might choose to have your daily rituals of setting a loving intention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "having a deep passionate kiss good night, making love, making a priority, not letting it fall onto the back burner, but make it a hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bring a quality of curiosity and interest and joyfulness to your love life and don t work on your relationship as much as dive into the hobby of mindful loving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because again, ultimately great happiness is up to us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great love and great sensuality begin and end in the mind and in our choice to become and be a generous awakened lover, to bring the very best of our heart and mind to this love affair between you and I at this time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Train your mind and train your heart to be an awakened lover." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My greatest hope is that I will learn in my own relationship to fall in love over and over with the one I m already with, one moment at a time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because remember, love ultimately is a choice, and the choice is yours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Ence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s guest was Dr. Cheryl Fraser, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and Buddhist teacher." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To hear more about some of the principles she covered today and how you can become a more mindful lover, check out her book." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s called Buddha s Bedroom and it s available on Amazon and in bookstores." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Change your question, change your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to planning your life, I want to get you to learn to ask three questions now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the first one is not, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The question you want to ask yourself is, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s my outcome?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s my result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first one is to get you focused on the target." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The target is not the activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The activity can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s what s the result I m after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know exactly what it is you really want, what you desire, what you re really after, clarity is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more clear you are in specifically what you want, the faster your brain can get you there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method, the system that Tony has used to not just achieve massive results in his life and create his $6 billion business empire, but a life driven by purpose, by his why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To find out more about RPM and how you can achieve more with less time, register for the RPM webinar at www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first step is you got to have a vision for what it is you really truly want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something has the power to pull you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Push requires willpower and willpower never lasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What will last is having something so exciting, so attractive, something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night, you get up early in the morning, do a rocket and take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season where we explore the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of a new year, like their health, productivity, personal finance, their relationships, and of course, their career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this episode, we re taking a look at health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No matter who you are, your age, your background, it s likely that you ve thought about improving your health this time of year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, more than half, 55% of nearest resolutions in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are health-related, like exercising more or eating healthier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what health means to you is highly personal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s probably different from how your closest friends or your family members think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you re trying to lose weight or exercise more so you can fit into your clothes better or have more energy to keep up with your kids or your grandkids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you re one of the millions of Americans that are pre-diabetic and need to make major changes in your diet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe you re feeling higher levels of stress or anxiety and you want to have a healthier mindset to feel more free from worry on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever health looks like to you, one thing is for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Without it, you cannot make progress in any other area of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When your health suffers, so does everything else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your relationships, your career, your finances, your loved ones, and your family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But with the hundreds of diets, workouts, and supplements, it can be overwhelming to figure out where to start." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Living in a state of peak health has served as the foundation for Tony s success throughout his entire life, because he knows all too well that without your health, you can t perform at your full capacity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony s not a health expert himself, but he brings in experts to speak at his events, like world-renowned doctors and researchers, to give his audience multiple perspectives on health so they can make informed decisions about their lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, you re going to hear from two of those people, Dr. Dean Ornish, a well-known physician and researcher, and Tony s personal trainer, Billy Beck, who works with him every day as he travels the world, helping him maintain the energy he needs to serve his audience at the highest level possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But before we hear from Dr. Ornish and Billy Beck, here s more from Tony on the mindset you need to embrace in order to do something that so many people struggle to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lose weight and keep it off for good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "While listening to this, keep in mind that this approach can apply to any goal that you set for yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have, throughout the years, defined what I think are the six fundamental steps that every person goes through when they successfully create a lasting change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I call them the six steps of something called neuro-associative conditioning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big words." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the heck does it mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, just realize that what drives our behavior as human beings is what we associate to things in our gut, in our nervous system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the point of the matter is we all try to avoid pain in life, and whatever we link pain to, we try to avoid being a part of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We try to avoid doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Conversely, we all want to do something that s pleasurable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think something is going to give us greater pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why people smoke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why people overeat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why people drink." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why people do a lot of things that they know intellectually are not really all that great, but we do them because it makes us feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s the best way we know on how to feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of us in our nervous system throughout our lifetimes have developed strategies on how to get out of pain and get into pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now one of those ways in the past has been through the use of food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s been a great way to get out of pain and into pleasure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve given yourself that reward at times when you wanted to change your state." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just think about it, putting food in your stomach alone changes the blood flow, changes the way you breathe, instantly changes your physiology, the sensations you begin to experience in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re not going to succeed just by overnight saying, okay, we re just going to start using willpower or we re going to put you on XYZ diet and then everything s going to turn around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to have to be much smarter than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to realize that you ve created a neurological set of connections in your body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meaning your brain has learned to link this pattern, this habit, with a way of creating some of the most important sensations you could possibly experience in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pleasure and the avoidance of pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if we re going to create a change that s going to last, we ve got to take you through a system that s going to help you to interrupt that pattern." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is free yourself from that connection because it s literally happening in your brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is physical." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it leads to this thing called overeating or again eating foods that don t support you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step number one is decide what do you really want and what s preventing you from having it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As simple as this sounds, most people, when you ask them, what do you want in your life, they tell you what they don t want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got to tell you, whatever you focus on, you move towards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re constantly focused on what you don t want, you constantly think about what you don t want, you get more of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I say to you, don t think of the color blue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t think of the color blue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on, whatever you do, don t think of the color blue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t think of the color blue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happens?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think of the color blue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as you think about it, if you have emotions about blue, you feel it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever you talk about, whatever you think about, whatever you focus on, you re going to move towards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to tell you something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a strong believer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Repetition is the mother of skill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of people know what to do, but they don t do what they know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you hear something enough times, if you see it enough times, you re more likely not only to remember it, but maybe use it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a critical distinction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing in life is perfect, but if you do it consistently, you ll get results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the law of sowing and reaping." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you sow, you ll reap." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except when the winter comes so intensely too soon that it destroys your whole crop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I planted the crop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did everything the way I m supposed to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sowed and I didn t reap." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a long-term plan, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you sow consistently, you will reap consistently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There ll be a few minor exceptions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The point of the matter is this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you say, well, one time I focused on all the good, but it still turned up bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t use that as an excuse not to focus on the good now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to consistently focus on the good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you focus on what you want, you re going to achieve it because all of your resources, all that s inside of you can help you to achieve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It only shows up when you focus upon it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the question is, what do you really want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you really want is to be able to enjoy yourself, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what s preventing that from happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because when you look in that mirror, you don t like what you see or you don t like what you feel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to decide that what you want is not just to lose weight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, nobody wants to lose anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be vital." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be free." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be strong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to look in that mirror and you want to smile broadly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to have pride when you re with your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to feel like, wow, I m proud of who I am physically just as I am spiritually and emotionally and every other area of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you must define what your target is, and it s got to be something that s compelling to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got to go beyond the mere idea of, well, I want to lose 10 pounds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not going to inspire anybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You must create a compelling future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You must create a clear focus as to what you do want versus what you don t want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now what s preventing that from happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously what s preventing it is in the past your strategy for trying to make this change has required you to have pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You had to starve, you had to give certain things up, you didn t have a new choice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today you might even let your mind begin to start thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you really want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t just say, I want to lose 10 pounds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a positive frame of reference, what do you want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want specifically?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to accomplish?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to achieve?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to create in your life that will inspire you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two is you ve got to get leverage on yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people in life have decided that they want to make a change, but they don t follow through or their follow through lasts a day or a week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know about you, but I used to have these deals where I d say, okay, I m going to go on a fast for the next 10 days and I m going to eat nothing but water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to eat water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sure enough, I m going to lose all this weight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to get it done once and for all, take control of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had every bit of intention." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very clear on my goal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what happened about noon in the first day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started thinking to myself, juice isn t so bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, juice is pretty good for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And about one o clock, I m going fruits really good for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And about two o clock, I m thinking to myself a salad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No salad is vegetables." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vegetables are really good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And about four o clock, I d be saying a burger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and fries ain t so bad!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The bottom line is we need to be able to stick to something once we decide on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the power step number two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to get leverage on ourself where our brain says to violate the standard we set for ourselves, to violate our plan equals too much pain, way more pain than what we might be experiencing temporarily because we re focusing on food that we think we might want to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also have to link that making this change equals tons of pleasure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got to remember what that vitality and energy and passion feels like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What you just heard is an excerpt from Body You Deserve, a 10-day weight loss program that has nothing to do with shakes, calorie counting, or exercise programs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a program that teaches you how to take control of your own psychology so you can stop unhealthy habits where they start, your mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To learn more, download the Tony Robbins Breakthrough app on the App Store or Google Play, where you can find Body You Deserve and other Tony Robbins products that will help you achieve lasting change in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Up next, we have Dr. Dean Ornish, a renowned doctor and researcher who founded the Preventative Medicine Research Institute, and he s also a clinical professor of medicine at the University of California in San Francisco." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You may have seen Dr. Ornish on TV, as a guest on Oprah or Ellen, as he shares everyday diet and lifestyle changes to be healthier and to treat and prevent disease." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s also the medical editor of the Huffington Post and a regular contributor to Newsweek, Reader s Digest, among others." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Dr. Ornish was also a consultant to former President Bill Clinton and was appointed by President Obama to be on the White House Advisory Group for Health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Here he is with some of his ideas on how you can improve your diet and make drastic change in both your body and your mind by making simple changes that anyone can do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meditation is incredibly powerful, turning on the genes that protect you, turning off the genes that are harmful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meditation is just a practice of focusing your mind into one area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be a sound, a phrase, a prayer, it can be secular, it can be religious, it doesn t really matter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you can focus your energy, you gain more power." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, a magnifying glass can focus the sun s rays." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can burn through a piece of paper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a laser is just coherent light." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All the waveforms are marching in step and you can burn through steel or bounce it off the moon." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just light." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But your mind is just a form of energy as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your mind affects your body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you can focus your mind, it has a more powerful effect on your body, for better and for worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unfortunately, most of the time people have the greatest focus when they re angry or afraid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so their mind is focused, but it has a negative effect on their body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Their blood pressure goes up, their arteries constrict, their blood clots faster, their muscles tense up, and so on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in meditation, you re meditating on something that s much more neutral or peaceful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even though the sounds of meditation all tend to sound alike." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The word for peace in so many cultures sounds very much the same, whether it s Shalom, or Om, or Salaam, or Ameen, or Amen, or even the word One." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These words begin with an O or an A, they end with an M or an N, and they focus your mind in a very peaceful way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, parents, when you come to your kids, it s the same kind of intuitive understanding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when you can meditate, even for a few minutes a day, it quiets down your mind and body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It focuses your awareness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you can perform better, whether it s in school, whether it s in the boardroom, whether it s in the sports arena." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you can focus better, you perform better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And meditation helps you focus better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "an elite world-class level, and Tony has worked with a number of world-class athletes, the differences in physical abilities are fairly trivial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really a mental game at that level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s why most world-class athletes are using meditation and imagery, because it can actually give them a competitive advantage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We then looked at type 2 diabetes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It turns out that more than half of Americans are going to be diabetic or pre-diabetic in the next 6 or 7 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At a cost of what UnitedHealthcare estimated to be over 3 trillion dollars." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean it s crazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now it turns out that lifestyle changes are actually better than drugs at preventing type 2 diabetes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a study that came out called the Navigator Study, and they looked at what happens if you lower people with diabetes blood sugar through using two different drugs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they got the blood sugar down with the drugs, thinking that would prevent the complications, but it didn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It actually increased them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the editorial that accompanied the paper said, maybe we should focus on lifestyle changes, because that really prevents it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, the complications of type 2 diabetes are truly awful, any one of which would be truly awful, but in aggregate are really awful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, heart disease, blindness, amputations, kidney damage, liver failure, impotence, really awful stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it turns out that if you can get someone s blood sugar down through diet and lifestyle alone," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can prevent every one of these complications." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The hemoglobin A1c is simply a blood test that measures your average blood sugar over the last two or three months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you can get that down below seven, you can prevent all of these complications." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Part of what we ve learned is that there s no point in giving up something that you enjoy unless you get something back that s better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what we find as well, that people say, oh, when I do this, I feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I do that, I don t feel so good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So maybe I ll do more of this and less of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They can literally connect the dots between what they do and how they feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then it reframes the reason for changing from fear of dying, which is not sustainable, to joy of living, which is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because these underlying biological mechanisms are so dynamic, most people feel so much better so quickly, it makes it sustainable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not to live longer, although you probably will, but to feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you eat healthier, when you manage stress, when you exercise, when you love more, your brain gets more blood, more oxygen, you think more clearly, you have more energy, you need less sleep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s really cool is that there s an emerging field in science called neuroplasticity or neurogenesis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what it means is that your brain can grow so many new brain neurons when you begin to live and eat more healthfully, that your brain can actually get measurably bigger in just a few months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Isn t that amazing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it actually gets bigger in the areas that you want it to get bigger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In your hippocampus, the part of your brain that controls memory." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For example, just walking for a half hour a day or three hours a week caused so many new brain cells to grow that people s brains got bigger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, this was published in two of the leading, most prestigious neuroscience journals." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as our population ages, more and more people are getting concerned about how healthy their brains are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, people start to forget, like, where did I leave my keys, and what was that guy s name, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it turns out that a lot of that can be preventable and maybe even reversible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just eating a lot of vegetables can reduce the likelihood of cognitive decline by 38%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine if you could take a pill that would keep your brain sharp in this way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody would be taking it, but again, it s just eating vegetables." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Taking turmeric, which is an Indian spice, can reduce the chronic inflammation that can help prevent Alzheimer s as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of my favorite foods can actually increase neurogenesis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tea and chocolate and blueberries will make your brain grow more brain neurons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just what you exclude from your diet, but also what you include that makes it beneficial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whereas what s bad for your heart is bad for your brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Saturated fats and sugar and nicotine decrease neurogenesis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Believe it or not, cannabinoids found in marijuana increase neurogenesis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just the messenger here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sex actually increases neurogenesis in just a matter of weeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, the primary determinant of improvement wasn t how old people were or how sick they were." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was simply a function of how much they changed their lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more they changed, the more they improved, which is, again, a very powerful message to give people at any age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I came up with this idea called the spectrum." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the spectrum is based on this finding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more you change, the better you get." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the more you change, the better you feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the better you feel, the more likely you are to want to keep doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you go on a diet, chances are you re going to go off a diet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Diets are all about what you can t have and what you must do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then when you go off the diet, people have those toxic emotions, shame and guilt and anger and humiliation, which really are bad for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And once you call foods good or bad, it s a very small step to saying I m a bad person because I ate bad food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, might as well just finish the burger at that point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gets into this whole shame and guilt and moralistic stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I said, look, what matters most is your overall way of eating and living." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of saying I m on a diet, which means you re going to get off the diet and have all those toxic feelings to say, look, I m going to move in a healthy direction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What matters most is my overall way of eating and living." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you indulge yourself one day, it doesn t mean you got off the diet, or you failed, or you cheated, or you re bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just eat healthier the next." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have time to exercise one day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do a little more the next." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, it s a very compassionate approach because you can t fail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no diet to get on, there s no diet to get off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I categorize foods from the most healthful, what I call Group 1, to the least healthful, Group 5." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Group 1 are the mostly plant-based foods." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Group five are the usual suspects, red meat and fried foods and lots of sugar and things like that, and groups two through four in the middle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ll say to them, okay, where are you on the food spectrum?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s start with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, they might say, I m eating mostly unhealthy group 4 and 5 foods." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So instead of us telling them what they should be doing, you, the person, tell me how much you want to change, and how quickly, and how many things you re willing to change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll support that degree of change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then if that s enough, great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If not, you can do more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s say you wanted to get your cholesterol down 50 points, and you re eating mostly group 4 and 5." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d say, well, how much are you willing to change?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m not ready to go all the way to be a vegan or a plant-based diet, but I ll eat less 4 and 5 and more of the healthier groups 1 through 3." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much exercise are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much are you willing to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I ll walk 20 or 30 minutes a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much yoga and meditation are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much are you willing to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll meditate 10 minutes a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll spend more time with my friends and family and loved ones." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll say, great, so we ll track it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if then after, let s say, a month, they wanted to get their cholesterol down 50 points and it came down 30, you say, look, you re moving in the right direction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now just go a little bit farther and you ll get the rest of the way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The same is true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a very compassionate and very effective way of changing lifestyle because you can t fail." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought it d be worth talking about what I think is an optimal way of eating, and it goes something like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There really is a convergence of what most thoughtful people think is a healthy way to eat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to eat mostly plants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, in their natural, unrefined forms, are the healthiest way to eat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re low in the disease-causing substances, and they have literally hundreds of thousands of protective substances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Phytochemicals, bioflavonoids, carotenoids, retinols, isoflavones, genocide, lycopene, on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that have anti-cancer, anti-heart disease, and anti-aging properties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it comes from a plant, Michael Pollan likes to say, eat it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s made in a plant, avoid it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re going to eat meat, try to use it as flavoring rather than as a center of the play kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to try to also reduce your intake of sugar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s been a lot of talk lately about how toxic sugar can be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s true, sugar and refined carbs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as I ll talk about, it s not the whole story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just part of the story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s an important part of the story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also you want to try to consume four grams a day of fish oil or flaxseed oil." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mentor when I was at Harvard was a man named Alexander Leaf and he was the chair of medicine that became the first chair of preventive medicine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was his pioneering work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And particularly if you have a little kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By giving them fish oil or taking the fish oil yourself when you re growing the baby or putting it in your formula if you re not breastfeeding, which you should, or just taking it yourself, it ll end up in your breast milk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can raise your baby s IQ from 7 to 10 points just from that alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can reduce the incidence of sudden cardiac death by up to 80%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can reduce the incidence of prostate and breast cancer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an important thing to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can have organic, organic is better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t have the insecticides, which we re learning now are often endocrine disruptors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can really wreak havoc with your hormones." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I d love to be able to tell you that butter and steak and meat and pork rinds and bacon and sausage are health foods, but they re not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doesn t mean you should never eat them, but just don t kid yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the myth is, you know, Americans have been told to eat less fat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fatter than ever, so that s not the problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s all sugar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it turns out, I was able to dig out from the U.S." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Department of Agriculture database, is that really a true statement?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It turns out it s not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That in fact, Americans are not eating less fat, they re eating more fat than ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From 1950 on, every decade, there s been a steady increase in the number of, not only the amount of fat, the amount of calories, the amount of sugar, and the amount of meat and red meat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not surprising why Americans are fatter than ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because if you eat more calories, if you eat more fat, if you eat more sugar and you eat more meat, you re going to gain weight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s as simple as that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we know that over the last 50 or 60 years, Americans are exercising a lot less as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The real epidemic isn t just heart disease or diabetes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s loneliness and depression and isolation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the unmet need in our culture is the need for connection and community." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ve kind of learned to just keep ourselves protected by keeping that wall up most of the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you trust somebody, you can really open up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make yourself vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to the degree you can do that, you can really have a deep connection with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to the degree you can do that, it s powerfully healing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that also makes it sustainable when you have those kinds of connections." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it feels good, it s sustainable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s fun and you feel free, it s sustainable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s meaningful, it s sustainable, and if you feel a sense of love and support, that makes it sustainable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just how long we live, it s how well we live." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what makes these things worth doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I mentioned before, the quality of our lives goes up so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything that brings us together, even the word healing comes from the root to make whole, and yoga, to yoke, to unite, to bring together, these are very old ideas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Aldous Huxley called this the perennial philosophy that you find in all the spiritual traditions and religions once you get past the rituals that people fight and kill each other over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Altruism, forgiveness, compassion and love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are they so prominent in all these different religions?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the answer is because that s what heals that sense of separation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Suffering can be a powerful doorway and catalyst for transformation, for transforming our lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because change is hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re hurting enough and someone can get you at that moment and say, you know, you don t have to hurt so much and here s what you can do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had people say to me things like, on many occasions, you know, having a heart attack was the best thing that ever happened to me, or being diagnosed with cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go, what are you, nuts?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d say, no, that s what got my attention to begin making these changes in my lifestyle that have transformed it to such a degree in so many wonderful ways that I probably never would have experienced if I hadn t gotten sick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, of course, it s better to not have to wait till you re sick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you don t have to change as much, and then you don t have to go through all that suffering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we re coming at this from different perspectives, but with the same idea, that we can use the experience of suffering as a doorway for transforming our lives for the better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Dr. Ornish is a regular speaker at Tony Robbins Life and Wealth Mastery Program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Set in an awe-inspiring tropical paradise, this event is designed to help you improve health and vitality, reestablish your inner balance, and master your finances too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To learn more, visit www.tonyrobbins.com slash events." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you ever wondered, how does Tony do it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s on a plane every three days, traveling to events around the world, and he s on stage for eight, 10, even more hours at a time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you ve ever been to one of his events, you know that the sheer amount of energy that he brings to the audience is unparalleled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, Tony burns 9,500 calories a day, which is the same as two marathons, and he jumps over 1,000 times on stage, the equivalent of two NBA games." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how is it that Tony is able to achieve peak performance even as he s getting to the life stage that most people start to slow down?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And still have the energy to run a dozen companies, be present with his loved ones, and contribute substantial time and energy to the causes he cares most about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re about to hear from Tony s personal trainer, Billy Beck, who travels the world with him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Billy is one of the world s most elite trainers and has even been elected to the Fitness Hall of Fame." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Billy is interviewed by Mary Buckhite, Tony s right arm and creative partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Billy and Mary B have accompanied Tony and Sage Robbins on the road around the world for seven years, supporting them as they travel to events, sharing strategies for lasting change with hundreds of thousands of people in over a dozen countries each year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Here s Mary and Billy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You are, of course, Tony s personal trainer, so you keep the big guy healthy and in top shape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I wish I could help people understand what you really do because Tony Robbins personal trainer is impressive, but it still doesn t even really do it justice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Anything that he does with his big body pretty much goes through Billy Beck first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We are all so very grateful to you, Billy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tony would be the first person to tell you guys this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tony really couldn t do what he does without Billy s help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You re also Sage s trainer and you re mine too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I tell our listeners that on the upfront because I just want to give you guys the sense that while Billy is well known for training hulking specimens like The Rock and Vladimir Klitschko and Mr. America and Tony Robbins," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "He s not just all about big beef." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Billy, you are also incredibly skilled and you re able to train with precision all kinds of body types, all kinds of humans across the board." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if you have been to an event, you know it s not unusual for Tony to be on stage for like 12 hours at a time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because Billy takes care of Tony before, during and after the event." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No one knows the ins and outs of Tony and how he does it like Billy does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "One topic that s kind of hot these days is the morning routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Oh, yeah, that s everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Priming him to get his body going, because as much as he s like superhuman and his mindset is always on point and he always has his purpose etched into his soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tell us a little bit about what you do with Tony for his morning routine and you yourself, just so people get a sense of not just like the Tony Robbins model might not be for everyone, but even you, Billy Beck, what do you do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What keeps you in peak performance?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, when I wake up, I always wake up and I pray." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a very specific way I do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do some breath work to get my workout started and I send an intention when I work out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my intention isn t like, I want to be ripped in six pack and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s always the side effect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If that is your main purpose for training, eventually you ll stop doing it because it won t have meaning to it at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sometimes people get marr trying to attract a mate married, you re like, I d so much and you see it al see people drop off, they stuff because that isn t have to have a really big" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for doing things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my purpose is tapping into my high self so I can be my best for my family, my friends, for Tone, for you, for Sage, and for all the people at the event and everyone I bump into that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if I m off, I don t want to treat someone poorly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the reason, like Tone would say, to live in a beautiful state." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s the thing you have to train." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people exercise is like, I have to exercise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the difference psychologically between a child and an adult is their language in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a child says, I have to do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a lot of people talk about that with exercise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They say, I have to do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I don t, I ll get fat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, if I don t, I won t be able to eat what I want to eat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re setting yourself up for failure there, but when you say, I choose to do this because I want to do this, because this is who I am, and I ll accept nothing less than my best, and I won t live a life of regret." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look back on this day, I m going to look back and be like, I gave everything I got." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really what I think success is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then with Tone, everything is structured." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll wake up the big guy, right away I have his nutrients." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we use lab testing and muscle testing as a double check of what goes into his morning drink." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like an adrenal support, mitochondrial support cocktail, we would call it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that varies what s in it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we would use a PMF machine" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and a laser machine, uh, laser." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like phase on his body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m balancin the same time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We may us Yeah, like that s for a s like pushing on his muscle locking in or not, they r" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll do something manually to get him to lock in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll change the tension in the muscle or if the joint is compressed, we ll decompress the joint." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is all very precise things we re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we ll do Dr. Tennant s device." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has this device with a wand on it that resets the body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, we do that and then we ll continue to do other body work to make sure all the muscles are firing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we ll eat some food." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, everything s very structured in what we eat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s an event, we ll probably have oatmeal with blueberries in it and some walnuts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What we ll do after that is we ll do some agoscue stuff to further balance the body and also get some movement going." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We may bounce on the rebounder a little bit, and then we ll do cryo, and then he gets to shower, comes out and preps, and we ll give him some nutrient cocktail before he goes on stage, and then boom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Boom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Through the curtain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through the curtain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I love that everybody who s listening, even if you don t have a Billy Beck at home, pulling on your limbs and balancing your body, you can wake up, you can do your agoscue exercises, bounce on your rebounder, oatmeal, walnuts, blueberries, adrenal support." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to oversimplify it either because Tony does use a lot of cutting edge modalities, things that top athletes, top people have access to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tony researches it and puts you on it and you research it and you guys get access and find inroads into like the best of the best in recovery and in training and all of it, nutrition, you name it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One thing that has been hot this year, let s say, that s come into my awareness, I m sure you ve known about it forever, is this idea of voltage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, Dr. Jerry Tennant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, he s brilliant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is the best doctor I ve ever met, and I ve met over a thousand doctors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always thought this, I remember being in eighth grade and learning about the human body and saying like, okay, so there s electrical impulse that s generating brain, goes down the spinal cord, goes out every nerve that innervates every cell in your body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds like that electrical impulse is important and no one ever talks about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it was like 2000, 2001, I saw an article from Dr. Jerry Tennant and I m like, wow, that makes a lot of sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He developed the system that we use a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there s foods that are like high voltage foods." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you were to really just make a really simple principle that works, is foods closest to their natural source would have more voltage in them than foods that are not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so foods that are processed like a... Cheeto." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Cheetos, exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not to pick on Cheetos, they re delicious to a lot of people, I m sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you want energy, eating Cheetos is not going to help you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have an apple, that s going to kick a Cheetos ass in a fight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People pick on animal proteins right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to eat animal proteins from a sick animal, just as you don t want to eat plants that are sick plants, like plants that have a bunch of chemicals on them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want to always choose organic foods, not because they have more nutrients, because they don t have more nutrients." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look at the studies, a carrot that s conventionally raised with pesticides does not have less vitamin A in it than an organic carrot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The difference is there s not a stress of removing the pesticides from your body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a stressor to your body." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to have a lot of energy, you want high voltage foods that don t drain your body, don t create an energy link." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve trained hundreds of athletes and their whole life is that thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is Tony s whole life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s specific for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you look at all these biohacking devices that come out, the red light therapy, for instance, is an expensive machine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you were to simplify what it does, there s a lot of research on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely effective." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it does two things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It stimulates the mitochondria to make more ATP." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ATP, Adenosine Triphosphate, is energy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "voltage, exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it does that, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other thing it does is it s like a low-level metabolic stressor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And through a process called hormesis, you know, you have bad stress and good stress, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s called eustress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And basically, if you don t do anything, you waste away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t use it, you lose it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that red light will actually stress the body a little bit, stress the cells a little bit to make them stronger, which is cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "little kick in the pants people are like, I need t thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what else even better exercise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Resi for the purpose of I need I ll be happy or then I or then I ll go to the p" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing is, you will not continue to train that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to have a greater purpose, and that purpose is to tap into your high self, live in a beautiful state, and use exercise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you need a long-term vision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is how you create lasting change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A long-term vision is, I was blessed because I got lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was 12 years old, and I was at Giant Eagle Grocery Store." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in Pittsburgh, you know what that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I opened up the back of muscle fitness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a guy named Sean Ray in the cover." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still remember it in my head." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I opened up the back and it said, Bob Del Montague, 78." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this old dude, 78, jacked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even know that was a thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, that can happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that instantly became my goal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even to this day, I want to be a Jack Santa Claus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s my thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had a compelling future." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what it was is like, it wasn t about like, I need to get in shape for the summer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to get in shape for my wedding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, hey, this is who I m going to become." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m going to do it because I want to feel good today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be my best today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be able to serve at the highest level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to have a life of no regret." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then that starts to add up one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when you re 80, 90, 100, you re still jacked and kicking ass and loving life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not in pain all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s really important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that you talked about that also because people think about personal trainers and the traditional culture of fitness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody s promising that these next 10 pounds are going to make the difference of your whole life, or you re working out to fit in a pair of skinny jeans or whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I work out with Billy, he ll say to me before every workout, it s one of my favorite things I ve ever learned from you, Billy, is you re like, okay, what s your intention for this workout?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you make it really clear that it s for this purpose other than just looking good, looking fresh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It goes beyond that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so glad you talked about that, too, because people look at Tony and they think he has such incredibly high standards." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He has impossibly high standards." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we don t live by this perfectionism of you can t eat that and you can t eat this and it s keto and paleo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s it s true, Mary B, because, you know, I used to teach that I was a pain in the ass and I thought everything had to be perfect because that s the way I ate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then what happens is the people that are teaching this, they have beliefs that if I don t have a six pack or if I don t look good in a bikini, then I m not enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is what Tone teaches at UPW, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The two fears every human has is that I m not enough, and if I m not enough, I won t be loved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then in our DNA, we are designed to live in a tribe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re designed to be able to connect with people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we don t feel like we re worthy, that triggers something in us, it triggers a fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the way most people exercise is like, hey, I need to lose my stomach, then I ll be enough, and then I can be loved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, the traditional way of fitness and exercise, it s ingraining a deeper pattern, deeper rooted limiting belief that you re not enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to achieve anything, you got to first believe that it s possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you got to be able to feel what it s like to already be there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to know it s possible too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I can tell you every human, people make up these stories like it s my genetics, it s my thyroid, it s my age, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blaming something outside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can find a person that has all those challenges that have overcome them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can tell you, and there s always a way for committed, but I ve never met anyone that can t lose fat and there are many when I can t build muscle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s studies on people in their seventies and eighties gaining strength and muscle at the same rate as people in their twenties." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not one study, there s multiple studies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s always these" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "stories we tell ourselves, but the new paradigm, the new way to think, it s got to be like, hey, I m here to serve." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m already enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was put here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re all put here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If I have a heartbeat, I am worthy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then I m here to reinforce that and remind myself every day because society and television, the media and marketers are always trying to tell you you re not enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and that you ve got to have this thing if you want to be happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s always this if-then thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, that s true, and that s how you suffer, and that s got to be the focus of your training." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The side effect is, yeah, you get all those things, but you don t have to be perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not your why." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right, exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It can t be your why." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for breaking that down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In addition to limiting beliefs and blaming things outside of themselves and pointing to their genetics or coming up with a myriad of excuses, even us achievers, if you re listening, you re an achiever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So why don t we all have perfect health and loads of energy?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s missing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s universally holding people back?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s that time of year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s kind of funny because I observed it for so many years, but people get motivated and it s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Go on YouTube, might listen to some Tony." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re like, I m going to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, you see some infomercials, you go on Instagram, you see some really fit people like, I m going to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is my year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then they go from the couch, not doing anything to like pro style workouts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s a principle, it s called GPO, Gradual Progressive Overload." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And people don t know where to start." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not inspiring where you start." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You start where you re at and add a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So all you got to do to get results is a little bit more than you re accustomed to and keep going in that direction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there s a story of Milo of Cretan." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Milo is a Greek story, a Greek legend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Milo, when he was a boy, was given a baby bull." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And every day he would walk out as a little kid, take his bowl, hug it and pick it up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then as he grew up and the bowl grew up and got bigger and bigger, by the time he was an adult and the bowl was fully grown, he was able to pick up a bowl." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But no one came out that never picked up a bowl and picked up a full grown bowl." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was gradually increased." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s the story of myeloma." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you always remember that, that s where the body needs to start." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you re not doing anything" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You got to do something very simple." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You just got to do a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when it comes to exercise, there s really three types of exercise." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There is cardiovascular conditioning that s challenging your heart and lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s resistance or strength training, which is challenging your muscles mainly and your circulation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then there s mobility and structural balance." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s important too, so you would prevent injuries." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t want to get too stiff or anything from that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the balance of those three, if any three of those are missing, your results are going to be limited at best every time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you need all three." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Say your goal is energy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People don t talk about this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re trying to tell you to take some pill, like take this because you can sell the hell out of those things, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make a lot of money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But no one s telling you this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is really simple." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So this is just physiology 101." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Muscle" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "is the physical location in the body where fat is burned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Inside the muscle is the actual furnace." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is a mitochondria." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is where you produce ATP." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "ATP is energy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s voltage, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so the more muscle you have, the more voltage you have in your body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The higher the voltage, the stronger your immune function." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, your goal of your body is always one thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s survival." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It doesn t care what you look like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, a priority of having a six-pack is not a priority of the body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like, oh, your immune system s low?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All right, you could get sick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We need to work on that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s never, hey, let s work on your biceps." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "your immune system, your voltage has to be high." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when it s high, then you can add muscle, then you can burn fat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what s happening with a lot of people is they re not doing resistance training." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you don t do resistance training, you re going to lose muscle at some point." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you just diet and don t challenge your muscles, you lose muscle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So now you have less voltage, you have less mitochondria." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When you lift weights, you build muscle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When you do cardiovascular conditioning that s challenging, you build more mitochondria within that muscle, more factories, not just to burn fat, but to produce ATP." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there is no pill, there s no supplement that does that like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even if someone took steroids, you don t build muscle without training." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People are like, oh, he s a cheater." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He took steroids." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, you should watch him train and eat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They are committed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re just a little overcommitted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But that s really important." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So people come out and do too much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you haven t been lifting weights, a simple program could be... I created something called the 7-Day Challenge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We can refer people to that if they haven t done anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a great place to start." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s great for everybody." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You got to start somewhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I used to think that you had to stay in the gym for hours." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now we train and it s like 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When you train professional athletes, that becomes the model because everyone wants to train professional athletes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, people are not professional athletes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Professional athletes train, hang out, eat, get massages, go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, if you re an achiever, you are using your brain a lot, that s a stress too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s a mental stress level." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What you want to do, if you train for an hour, at the end of that workout, intensely for an hour, your testosterone levels will be low, your cortisol levels will be high." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and there s some things y that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what s importan you take at that point?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Y is what your body can re 20 minutes or 30 minutes are low." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s the bes" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you feel really good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re in a peak state." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can go crush it the rest of the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, if you go to the point where I take a professional athlete, they don t feel great the rest of the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re not crushing the rest of the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The whole point of training is to improve every other area of your life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So why would you go to the point where you re now grouchy or you re hungry or you re sore, you don t feel good, and then you re treating your spouse poorly, you re treating your kids poorly, you re treating your coworkers poorly, you re not able to lead your organization or whatever you do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So training a non-athlete is different than training a professional athlete." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why maybe you train Tony a little differently than you train Sage and I, for example, in Sage Robbins." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hi, everyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, I just want to start by saying these are two of my dearest and most beloved friends on the planet, Billy Beck and Mary B. I thought I d just jump in and share my own experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over this last year, I had some health challenges." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had to take a look at myself and do an inventory of what I wasn t doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had prayer and meditation down pat, but I really didn t have an exercise structure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I might have done things spontaneously at times, but I had no consistency." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Billy brought training to life for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you made it fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, our life is really big and we re traveling on many different time" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "zones and so forth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my story at that time was I couldn t fit a consistent workout schedule in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Billy came up with a system called micro-workouts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s so amazing is through working out, if I felt I didn t have time, my commitment was if Billy ever said, Hey, do you want to work out?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll always say yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so after this past year of saying yes, he s completely just revolutionized my body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t believe the strength that I m gaining." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I call them my baby muscles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not quite there yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what s so beautiful is just through his insight and brilliance and as well just having a structure that I was able to adapt and fit into my world, I ve had consistency." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with that consistency, you know, I used to go to the gym and in my mind, I d be thinking like, oh, I have to go work out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I look forward to it because it s about my own well-being." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about revitalizing my health." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember as a younger woman, I used to always want to exercise and I d be trying to lose five or 10 pounds." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was an outside game at that time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at this stage, there s no relevance to that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all just about me being the best self that I can be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Billy Beck, thank you, because I would never be where I am today without him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And anyways," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just wanted to pop in and say hello and share my quick testimony because it s so dear to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And besides, I have the privilege to travel the world with these two and they are our chosen family and my most beloved friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyways, thank you and I hope you guys are enjoying this and God bless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, Billy, there s a lot of misperceptions and things that people are still believing that s like that s not really true anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What other things would you say are like myths that people are still living by and you d like to bust for us today?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "just because of the time of year, I think it d be really important to talk about no pain, no gain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most people watch Rocky IV and they see Sebastian running up a mountain in the snow with a log on his back and they re like, oh, that s how I have to train." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s way too much for them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the goal is to challenge the body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s important because if you don t challenge it, it won t change." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you want to stimulate it, not annihilate it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you got to know where you re at." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you haven t been doing anything, you just got to do a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and gradually progress from that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And each workout should be challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s an acronym." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I taught you this, the BOSS principle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How do you know if your workout s working?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So BOSS, like B-O-S-S, the first thing is, if any of these things are happening, that means the body s being challenged to a point." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "B stands for burning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So up that burning sensatio happening, producing more metabolically will change occur, makes you healthier" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you re challenging your lungs." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a good thing if you re a little winded." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You should be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You shouldn t be at the point where you re vomiting or anything like that, but hey, more power to heavy breathing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then S would be the sweat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re sweating, that means you re challenging your body point." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re flexing enough muscles." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The muscles are contracting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Byproduct is heat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then to cool your body down, you start to sweat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the last S is struggle." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You got to struggle a little bit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re just like nine, 10," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, it was easy breezy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nope." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing s happening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What else?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How about a few simple tips that people can implement right now?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I work with clients, like I do all these lab tests and everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I m trying to roll out is trial and error." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m trying to make it very specific to us so they see results as quickly as possible and to give them certainty." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But say" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you didn t have any of that stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly, you don t need all that stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s some things that you just know work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s core principles that work for every human being." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re in the species and you have a heartbeat, this works." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first thing is you got to drink enough water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re drinking things with calories in them other than protein shakes, it s probably not a good choice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You would drink half your body weight in ounces of water per day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A 200-pound person would drink 100 ounces of water today, which for international people, that s about three liters." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that would be the goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And ideally- Just start with water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, everybody could do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone overcomplicates stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you want clean water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t need this crazy whole house system." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s fine if you want it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to tell you not to get it, but I m just saying just keep it really simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Drink water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, what about alkaline water?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What about regular water?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get clean water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Drink enough water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Next step is super simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People always want like the perfect diet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Eat foods closest to their natural source." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So eat whole foods, avoid processed foods." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Got it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll give you an example, like grapes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you ask this question, here s your test." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t need like a list of food." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just like hold the food up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you have grapes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, where does this come from?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if it takes you more than five seconds to figure it out, or if you have to read the label, it s not a good choice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then from that, you want to create a routine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the routine is like, how can you automate it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you look at the research on willpower, self-control, and decision-making from Roy Baumeister at Florida State University, and what he found was, if he looked at high performers, low performers, what was the difference?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Blood sugar levels, actually, blood sugar regulation and the amount of decisions you make." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if your blood sugar levels drop, you tend to make terrible decisions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t need 40 years of research to know that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we ve all been there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get a little hangry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Kelly, you get a little hangry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get a little hangry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, it s coming out now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, everyone knows." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep, it s true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But blood sugar levels are" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a big thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the other thing they found was you only have so many decisions you can make a day before self control goes down." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a football coach." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He says nothing good happens after 11 p.m." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we had a curfew." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like think about all the regrets people have in their life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, like, what I usually do is I have, okay, we re going to eat within a 12-hour period, so we re going to fuel our body in a 12-hour period, we re going to fast for a 12-hour period, so our digestion can occur, and so our body can repair and rebuild." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "During the 12-hour period of fueling, you re going to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and one snack." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The way I do it is I train in the morning, I have my protein shake, and then I put blueberries and broccoli sprouts in it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Broccoli sprouts are a super, super food." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dr. Rhonda Patrick, she s incredible, the way she does her presentations on broccoli sprouts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I read the research before I saw her presentation, and it was not fun to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a headache." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It took me weeks, and then she summarized it in 45 minutes and just knocked it out of the park." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you don t want to eat broccoli sprouts, watch her video, and then you ll want to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I grow them in my house." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re stinky little devils, but they re good for you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Turn off the bad genes, turn on good genes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There you go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you don t want to have cancer, a good chance of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This gives you a few bonus points so that you re going to be better protected." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s say I have my shake first thing in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just because I have a lot of nutrients in it, I want to make sure I get those things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then about three hours later, I have my breakfast, which would be real food." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then about three, four hours later, I have my next meal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then three, four hours of my next meal, then I m done eating." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so if I have my shake at 9 a.m., I m done eating by 9 p.m." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s a 12-12." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what that does, it does a couple of things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Intermittent fasting, if you look at the research with weight loss intermittent fasting, there was a really interesting study, a one-year study done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it was published in the Journal of International Society of Sports Nutrition." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what they found was they had someone ingest, I ll give you hypothetical numbers, but they had the same amount of food, say 2000 calories at any time of the day or within an eight-hour window, I believe it was." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they did this for a year." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at the end of the year, they had the same" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "results." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what s more important, the overall amount of food you eat or what time of day you eat?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right now that s a trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think there s a behavioral aspect to it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there s value in having some rules and automating it and starting with 12 hours and then seeing how that goes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just saying like, this is when I eat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What happens is people eat reactively." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, oh, I m hungry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I should eat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But most of the time when we eat," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not actually physically hungry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re emotionally hungry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we want to produce a little dopamine or something like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we challenge someone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just trained to eat something, munch on something when we watch television." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so by establishing these decisions, like making a decision, like this is what I eat, this is how I eat, and this is what I eat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then just sticking by that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What it does, it carries over to other things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you make decisions, you make a promise to yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and you keep it, you start to expand your beliefs about the type of person you are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you make a promise to yourself and you don t keep it, your subconscious mind starts to think less of you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And really, a little piece of you dies every time you say, hey, I m gonna do it, and you don t do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a serious thing, you gotta take that serious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, any promise that comes from you, words you speak, that s what integrity is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s about having integrity with yourself, not with other people, who cares about other people, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not in a mean way, but like, you re promising yourself this thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t just talk like too many people just say things, but they don t mean it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "True." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We got to keep our promises to ourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What about Billy?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If someone s like ready to commit, they re like, okay, I ve made the decision." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m ready to commit to this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Give our listeners here a challenge, something that they can be their best version of themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re ready to do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re committed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do they do?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you got for them?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I created this little thing called a seven day challenge for people to start." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s just the core habits of developing the rituals of like, these are the things you need to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every human needs to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they want to have a lot of energy, vitality, they want to be lean and feel good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this works for everyone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I create another program." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I trained The Rock for a long time, and he would always ask me for his program." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, you will die if you do his program." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s a machine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I made a program just for beginners that will take you to beginner to intermediate, or even maybe advanced if you push yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s progressive overload, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re gonna start with something simple and gradually increase your volume and workload over a period of 12 weeks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s free." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Perfect." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So do the seven-day challenge from Billy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ll put it up on our website." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Anybody can do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Billy, thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s an honor and a privilege." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was Billy Beck and Mary Buckhite talking about how Tony Robbins stays in peak physical health." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To take a closer look at some of the resources they refer to during this interview, go to www.tonyrobbins.com slash billybeck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Change your question, change your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When it comes to planning your life, I want to get you to learn to ask three questions now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the first one is not, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The question you want to ask yourself is, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s my outcome?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s my result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first one is to get you focused on the target." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The target is not the activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The activity can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s what s the result I m after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you know exactly what it is you really want, what you desire, what you re really after, clarity is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The more clear you are on specifically what you want, the faster your brain can get you there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method, the system that Tony has used to not just achieve massive results in his life and create his $6 billion business empire, but a life driven by purpose, by his why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To find out more about RPM and how you can achieve more with less time, register for the RPM webinar at www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The first step is you ve got to have a vision for what it is you really truly want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Something has the power to pull you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Push requires willpower and willpower never lasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What will last is having something so exciting, so attractive, something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night, you get up early in the morning, do a rocket and take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a season where we explore the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of a new year, health, productivity, personal finance, relationships, and the focus of today s episode, career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you know the average American will spend over 90,000 hours at work over the course of their lifetime?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And 87% of Americans have no passion for the job they do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The statistics are very clear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re working our lives away, and the majority of us don t even like what we do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This time of year, it s likely you may have thought about your career and what changes you d like to make." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you want to ask for a promotion, start your own business, or even change your career path entirely and make the leap into doing something that s more fulfilling to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No matter where you are in your career, if you re established or just getting started, and what goals you ve set for yourself this year, there s one thing that is true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Technology is changing the way we work, and it s changing fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "there s no doubt that technology has made our lives a lot easier in the workplace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For those of you that remember things like fax machines and dial-up internet, you can probably appreciate this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as the pace of innovation continues to accelerate, many people fear that technology will displace jobs and the workers who can t compete with machines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On the other hand, many argue that it will actually create jobs, opportunities, and entire industries." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Regardless of what side of the coin you re on, whether you think AI and automation will create or destroy, it s going to change the fundamental nature of our economy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The things that we re going to do for work, how we build our careers, and how we even define what a career or job is will shift dramatically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we need to be prepared and make sure that we re providing as much value in the marketplace as we can so we stay competitive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this episode, we re exploring the future of work, what it means, and how you can create a career that you love in the wake of technological disruption." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll hear from Alaysia Abate, an expert on the subject, who helps people find fulfillment and freedom in their careers while future-proofing their jobs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But first, here s Tony on how you can stay competitive and provide more value in the market as the world continues to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s interviewed by Dan Roth, editor-in-chief at LinkedIn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Tony and Dan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You give a lot of advice to people who are at the top of their game or trying to reach the top of their game." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What kind of advice would you give to someone who s just starting out, someone who s just graduating and needs to know what to do to be successful?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want to be the next Paul Tudor Jones or they want to be the next Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you say?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I think the most important thing is, what do you really want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Not who you want to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t want to be Tony Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t want to be Paul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love Paul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t want to be Paul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s a great role model, to say the least." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love the man because he s one of the greatest contributors I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What he s done with Robin Hood and what he s done with his life personally is extraordinary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Role models should be examples for you, but you ve got to decide what do you want to give?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are you here to deliver?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think you ve got to fall in love with whose lives do you want to touch and through what vehicle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can t fall in love with your product or your service today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ve got to fall in love with the client." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so you ve got to decide who do I want to serve?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you ve got to know more about their needs, their wants, their fears, their desires than they do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you ve got to anticipate how to meet those." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you ve got to remember that technology s going to change it, competition s going to change it, the government s going to change the rules." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s three-dimensional chess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And unless you are constantly striving to be ahead of that path and find a way to add more value, you re going to get eaten up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, what is it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, you ve got four out of 100 businesses that make it after 10 years and 96% fail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you re going to have an advantage, you need to say, what is it I want to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would say that you also have to say, like a lot of people say, find your passion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I say you gotta find your passion, you gotta find your competency, and you gotta find the market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of people have passion but no competency." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so they ll be struggling a good portion of their life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You got to make sure you match those two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you also have to find a market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where can I serve a group of people?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s a problem I can solve?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s perhaps scalable in size if you want to do something on scale." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or you got to say, I want to be a great artist and here s what s going to fulfill me and here s how I m going to keep growing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the common denominator I learned from my original mentor is a man named Jim Rohn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s a personal development speaker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember I first met him, and I had forefathers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were totally broke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of the reasons this year I m feeding 100 million people, I ve fed 56 million so far myself, and I ve got matching funds, so we re up to 82 million people, is I ve been feeding people my whole life, 42 million people over the course of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when I was 11, somebody fed my family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had no food at Thanksgiving, which we wouldn t have starved, but we were going to have a Thanksgiving treat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "somebody came and took care of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I tell you that because my fathers were hardworking people, all four of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They were always broke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re always struggling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I met Jim Rohn and I m like, how is this possible?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I can see people that work a third of the time my father and they re wealthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And my father works his guts out and we don t have money for food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, how is that possible?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Part of it is how that money was spent, you know, abuse and alcohol and things of that nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what Jim Rohn taught me was that it s really in the world we all have intrinsic value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But in the financial world, it s about how can you become more valuable to people than anybody else?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think today, you have to anticipate that this is a knowledge workplace now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is not brawn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is the capacity to know and to utilize information." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s wisdom to be able to act and produce results faster than anybody else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if it was me starting my career, I d be saying, where s the market where the greatest opportunity is that s going to fulfill me and give me a chance to make a difference?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then what skills and tools do I get now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But how do I keep upping my game constantly?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because Rowan taught me, he said, work harder on yourself than you ever do on your job or your business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because if you can become more valuable, sizably so, you will produce an amazing result." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You see people work at McDonald s and work their guts out time-wise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They work hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what they re doing, you can teach someone to do with the devices we have these days in about 30 minutes, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or less." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you see a David Tepper who, you know, gets paid $4 billion or something of that nature, he goes, so incredibly unfair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes and no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, when people are getting, you know, a few basis points for their money in a savings account, and this man s getting people a 42% return, and we know what that means in terms of multiplying over time, he s being rewarded for adding massive value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We may not like that value, you may not like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "what he s doing, but it s adding value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think we all have to say, what is my niche that I will love, that I m competent in, and there s a market for, and then how do I just constantly and never-endingly improve so that I have that cutting edge of being able to give more?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Not easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Worth it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Worth it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because the alternative is settle for a world where you re constantly dropping behind because everything s moving forward and technology s making it happen faster than ever before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so you all know in Silicon Valley, they used to do annual reviews." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now they re doing quarterly reviews." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some people are doing monthly reviews." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re doing one like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if somebody s not adding value, they re gone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The world is more competitive than any time in history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you could say, I don t like it, but the best study of life is how it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it feels incredible to constantly grow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you ask me, what does it take to be fulfilled?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grow or die." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re not growing in a relationship, the relationship s getting hurt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re not growing in terms of your energy, you re getting weaker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re not growing in your skill sets, you re gonna fall behind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you grow, you have something to give." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I really believe, corny as it sounds, the secret to living is giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As Fraser wrote in my book when I was 18, when I was really frustrated with my life, feeling like nothing s going the right direction, I realized I was so focused on what I was doing and what I wasn t getting, I wasn t focused enough" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "giving." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when we give is when we feel most alive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t get me wrong, we all can receive and deserve to receive, and I ve certainly received." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s nothing like knowing what you ve done makes a difference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that motivates people more than money ever will." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people money more, but not the majority." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ability to create, to add value, to have autonomy, those are pieces the human spirit grows from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And companies like LinkedIn, and I m not just blowing smoke your way, because Reid Aukman s a fan of mine, as you well know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you guys create a culture like that, and it s one of the reasons you ve exploded the way you have and expanded what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you ve been listening so far and know that you re ready for a change in your career or business, Unleash the Power Within can help you achieve it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Unleash the Power Within is Tony s signature event that has helped people just like you go from where they are to where they want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and we have a special offer for podcast listeners." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go to TonyRobbins.com slash Unleashed and use the promo code UPWPOD, U-P-W-P-O-D, to get $100 off your UPW ticket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s TonyRobbins.com slash Unleashed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome back to the Tony Robbins Podcast, where we re exploring the future of work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re about to hear from Alisha Abate, an entrepreneur and an expert on the topic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Alicia has spent much of her career in global recruiting, interviewing and placing executive level talent for companies like Anheuser-Busch InBev, Dow Jones, and The Wall Street Journal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But through the thousands of interviews she conducted all over the world, she was exhausted and discouraged by meeting people who were interesting, smart, creative, but they didn t have any passion or excitement for the work they were doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a problem that many people can relate to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She also started to see these macro trends in the market that made her ask the question, how will people empower themselves in the face of technological disruption?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she set out to answer those questions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She researched the technologies that are creating the most impact and met with people who are masters at managing change and have successfully worked through it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And over the past several years, she s been putting her methodologies into practice, providing companies, governments, educational institutions, and individuals with the business models and tools they need to solve challenges brought on by the future of work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Alaysia as she shares a three-part framework that you can use to build a fulfilling career in the face of disruption." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When we think about how to create a career that s going to allow us to thrive in the face of all of this disruption, technological disruption being the focus of that, the first and most important thing to understand is that gone are the days of the ladder career." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what do I mean by the ladder career?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s one job, one track, you know, several years ago, it was literally climbing the corporate ladder, but basically a singular focus in terms of your growth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even if you switched jobs from company to company, we generally stayed within the same functional area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But as we begin to look at all of this disruption and how to future-proof ourselves, we move over into a model that I call the mosaic model, which is rooted in the things that we value the most, the kind of contribution that we want to create in the world, and the kind of impacts we want to use our lives to create, and piecing those things together in various activities to build what would traditionally be a career in that space." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now that we know that the model has shifted from a ladder career into a mosaic career, how do we actually go about creating it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are some of the mindset shifts and action shifts that can help us move ourselves there?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That three-part framework is mindset, education, and collaboration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the first component of mindset is this distinction between thinking about your career as a sniper versus thinking about your career as a scientist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most of us are thought that we need to find one career, one passion, one right job, one right company, and if we don t, then we failed or we re doomed to mediocrity or something even worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because the market s shifting so much, moving away from this need to have the one right answer, shifting into a space of being absolutely curious, that of a scientist," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As a scientist, let s imagine that we re all going to the South Pole and we re doing some research together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Once we re down there, we re well-equipped, somebody s funding our research, we ve got all the equipment we need, lots of smart scientists with us, and we may even have some hypotheses about what happens when we get there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But once we re there, we re simply collecting data." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no right or wrong, there s only information." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, rather than thinking, if I don t get this right the first time, all is doomed, we can ask ourselves, what can I learn from this space and what can I transform it into?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The second piece of the mindset component is shifting our thinking about our career in terms of an or way of thinking versus an and way of thinking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what do we mean by that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the past, we used to do one job or the other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were in one functional area or the other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this mosaic career model includes a whole lot of and." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, one of my former clients is this amazing woman who has an immigrant story, came to the United States, learned English, got herself through college, got a job that she thought was going to be fantastic and ended up being a soul-sucking desk job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she had a dream for most of her career, most of her life, to become a chef, to create impact in her community and help bring healthier food habits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she decides to leave her soul sucking desk job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She gets herself into the Natural Gourmet Institute and graduates with honors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, working with some of the best natural food chefs in the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And today, rather than having one specific career, she s a chef." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s working on cookbooks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s teaching classes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She does private events." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she s created this mosaic around herself that allows her to exercise her talent through various different windows and various different points of focus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As we look at this framework of mindset, education, and collaboration, education is the second component." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how this relates to our Mosaic career is that we re shifting away from a job market or a job environment where we re looking at the skills that we have versus the values that we have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re moving away from the need to follow solely on the path of the things that we re able to do and shifting into a place of what can I utilize the things that I know how to do to create in the world?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What kind of impact" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I create?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How can I fulfill on the things that I value the most?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then secondly, under education, when we look at the shift away from a job search into a world of entrepreneurship, because here s the deal, the past of work was salaried for most of us and the future of work is and is going to be entrepreneurial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And this is even if you are inside of a more traditional organization, because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Companies, large companies, Fortune 500s and others of similar ilk are requiring that you have the abilities of entrepreneurship in-house even." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So even if you do have a salary, you re going to be required to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But beyond that, the massive trend toward freelance work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right now, some of the statistics are saying that somewhere around 34% of people in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "are doing freelance of some kind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That number is expected to go up to 45%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so as more and more of us, either by choice or by force, are needing to do this kind of freelance work, understanding the tenets of entrepreneurship, and then as we move forward beyond that, entrepreneurship in its most traditional form, creating scalable businesses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re moving away from a world where we need to master the skills of interviewing well and moving through a job search, and into a world where we need to learn how to do more with less, become incredibly creative, see opportunities perhaps where others don t, and in fact," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for those of us who are excited about taking the ride, can create a lot more fulfillment for ourselves, both financially and otherwise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you are paying attention now and you can see what s coming, rather than waiting and reacting to whatever s happening in the marketplace, you can see it, know what it s going to be, and take advantage of the opportunities that come as a result of disruption." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because frankly, disruption is simply opportunity that looks different than it used to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And finally, collaboration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Collaboration is really where the magic comes in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And finding and creating our own space in the world moves away from networking and into the space of community building." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Networking was something that was very transactional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I give you X, you give me something of X value in return." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We probably have that exchange one time and never again shall we meet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "versus community building." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When we re making a job switch, when we re creating our own business, it s no longer transactional because there s so much disruption occurring out here in the market that we need to connect with people both to contribute to and receive help from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so as we look for career creation, career transformation, the idea is to connect with other people, add value where you can, and create that interconnected community so that if something happens," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "or as the market continues to get disrupted, you will have a community of people around you who can support you in what you re creating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Additionally, if you are a solopreneur or if you are one of the many millions of people in the world who are freelance workers of some kind, having a strong" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "community of people who have businesses that are interrelated or interconnected to yours can allow you to pitch for bigger contracts, can allow you to get offers to work on contracts that your friends are getting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so creating this interconnected community to which you re adding value and from which you re learning can really help you thrive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I could leave something as we re wrapping up this podcast today, one of the things that I would encourage everybody to understand is that this thing that we talk about that is the future, that feels way out here, something that may or may not happen at some point is actually already happening today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the idea is everything that we ve shared here with you are strategies and ideas that you can take and implement for yourself today so that you can create the 2020 that you re really looking for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s guest was Alicia Abate, an entrepreneur, human capital expert, and thought leader on the topic of the future of work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find her on social media for more insights and to contribute to the conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Special thanks to LinkedIn Learning for the interview you heard with Tony Robbins and Dan Roth at the top of this episode." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,763
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Change a question, change a life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to planning your life, I want to get you to learn to ask three questions now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the first one is not, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The question you want to ask yourself is, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s my outcome?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s my result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first one is to get you focused on the target." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The target is not the activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The activity can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s what s the result I m after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know exactly what it is you really want, what you desire, what you re really after, clarity is power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more clear you are in specifically what you want, the faster your brain can get you there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This episode is brought to you by RPM, the Rapid Planning Method, the system that Tony has used to not just achieve massive results in his life and create his $6 billion business empire, but a life driven by purpose, by his why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To find out more about RPM and how you can achieve more with less time, register for the RPM webinar at www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s www.tonyrobbins.com slash rpm-webinar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first step is you ve got to have a vision for what it is you really truly want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something has the power to pull you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Push requires willpower and willpower never lasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What will last is having something so exciting, so attractive, something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night, you get up early in the morning, do a rocket and take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m Anna Yorke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season where we re exploring the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of a new year, health, productivity, finances, relationships, and career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Today, we re taking a look at productivity and goal setting, something that s top of mind this time of year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re sitting down to chat with Jenna Kutcher." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You may have heard her podcast, Goal Digger, where she helps her listeners redefine success, chase bolder dreams, and tackle their biggest goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Jenna is an entrepreneur, an expert marketer, speaker, and a social media influencer with 1.7 million followers, a million of them on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has a strong voice speaking out about important topics like body positivity, female entrepreneurship, and some of the more difficult ones, like going through a miscarriage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has set massive goals for herself, achieved them, and has created an extraordinary life, one that s on her terms and her time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But life didn t always look that way for Jenna." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She started her career in corporate America, working 10 plus hours a day for a Fortune 500 company." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "While she had a promising future and a promotion on the horizon, she just didn t see the point of making more money if she didn t have the time to actually enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So Jenna made the decision to quit her job and pursue something different, something that fulfilled her, that she was passionate about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She bought a $300 camera off of Craigslist and started taking pictures at her friends weddings and became determined to be a successful photographer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She became passionate again, and it s that passion that fueled her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Soon enough, she had her own business and a ticket out of corporate America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Today, Jenna s life looks a lot different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s created a million-dollar business with multiple revenue streams, and she s just 31 years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Between running her company, speaking all over the world, and being a mother to her daughter, Conley, and a wife to her husband, Drew, she has a lot going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But because Jenna has mastered goal setting, productivity, and time, she s completely integrated her work with her life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s able to spend time where it matters, with her family, and in her favorite place, Maui, for three months out of the year, where she completely disconnects." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen closely as Jenna and I sit down for a one-on-one interview where she shares her approach to success and how she took her wedding photography business, something that relied on her own personal involvement to be successful, and diversified it to the point where it runs even when she s not there and generates revenue 24 hours a day, seven days a week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So Jenna, I have to ask." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Entrepreneurs have this tendency to set these massive goals for themselves, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like they build up their businesses, they achieve a certain level of success, but then they find themselves working 24 seven and they re actually operators." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re handling the day-to-day tasks, not owners who can step away from time to time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how did you do it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How did you go from starting your business and being a solopreneur working all the time to being able to step away and have a business that thrives even when you re not there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What was your strategy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So it was interesting as a wedding photographer because I was on this upward trajectory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I had this huge carrot in front of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I thought six figures was it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Like I thought like once you hit six figures, you have made it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so I booked 25 weddings and then 27 weddings and then 30 weddings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I was in the middle of that 30 wedding wedding season, which if you do the math, we live in the Midwest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I was shooting one to two weddings every single weekend from April to November." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and then working all week to stay caught up on my workflow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I remember for the first time in my life, I was feeling anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I had this anxiety about me that I knew that what I had built required so heavily on me that no one else could step in and do what I was doing, and that if I were injured or if life happened, my business would crumble." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so I was just working up, up, up, up, and I finally hit this breaking point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I hate sharing that because I feel like so many entrepreneurs that are successful today push themselves to that breaking point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s like, I wish I could protect you from ever hitting that point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But a lot of times that s what s necessary to figure out what your next steps are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I told my husband, I said, screw six figures." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We were just fine when I was making 50 grand a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I am going to cut my work in half next year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I will never do this again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I don t care if we eat ramen noodles and live in this condo forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want my time back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to be happy again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I want to have time with my family and be successful at life and not just in business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that was actually the season that then ended up catapulting me into an entirely new industry because I finally had time again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I ve always shared with people like time is my biggest currency." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I fiercely protect my time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so all of the big pivotal changes that have happened in my business happened when I finally gave myself time again to say, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What s worth it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Where s my time best spent?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What is my superpower?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so there s definitely different seasons of hustle and then like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "hit the brakes and figure out what s next and recalibrate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, I think you nailed it right when you said entrepreneurs get so focused on a single vision and they just put their head down and they go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the real secret, and a lot of people have discovered this, is diversifying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not spreading yourself too thin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just putting your hands in different buckets, aka revenue streams." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do so much, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re an entrepreneur, an educator, a blogger, a photographer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have a podcast called Goal Digger, which is amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do you make the decision then what you re going to focus on at what time?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "For me, what fuels me is freedom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I ve really established that this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s like, what does freedom look like in my life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And for me, I once heard somebody say that the average millionaire has, I think, seven revenue streams." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I was like, I m going to make eight, overachiever status." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I set out to figure out different ways to monetize my brand, my business, who I am, what we do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And the way that I see freedom is that I could shut down any one of those at any point when I m just done and it wouldn t impact my life or my level of happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so when I started to look at, okay, what is a true brand?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because I think most people set off and they build a business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But a business sells a product or a service, and a brand is the personality behind those." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You trust a brand, you trust their passions, and a brand is also multidimensional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because I am my brand, it s not confusing to people that one day I can talk about miscarriage, and the next day I can talk about marketing, and then the following day I can talk about my favorite skincare that I m using." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s because it s all based on me and what I love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When I look at different revenue streams, I think today I was actually counting because I was like, I thought I had eight, but I think I have 10." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When you start to look at life that way, it s like this life of abundance, but it s also this life of freedom because I know if at any point I wake up and I say, I don t really want to do that anymore, I still have legs to stand on and I know that I still am going to be successful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that makes so much sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s interesting that you say freedom because that is the number one goal for a lot of people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Tony, at his Business Mastery event, he even says, how many of you guys got into this because you wanted freedom, because you want more free time?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then everybody raises their hand and then he says, yeah, how s that working out for you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you have so many things going on, how do you juggle them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you prioritize and how do you find time to do the things that are most important to you, whether they be business or personal?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then how do you organize yourself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I m smiling as you re saying that because I can truly say I feel ultimate freedom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I don t think that many people would assume that when you look at the way my business is and the content that we re creating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "When I was finally pregnant with my daughter, who is now one years old, I knew that like, okay, I ve" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "got to work hard to build this business up to that place where I can step away and just be a mom and be present with her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that was my challenge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the way that I did that was I started with one thing and I got really good at it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I created a system and then I handed it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of times when I look back, I was skeptical of hiring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was so many voices in my head that said, you re not ready to hire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your business isn t big enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t make enough money to hire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t afford to hire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nobody s going to care for this the way that you do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, who do you think you are to hire?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it really held me back for so long because I believed all of those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I look back, I realized that my grip was so tied around my money that I was just letting my time be spent without really understanding where it was going and what the value of it was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so while we have eight, nine, 10 revenue streams today, there is only two things that are required of me in my entire business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is to be the visionary, to be the person in the driver s seat, to establish where we re going next and what that s going to look like, and to be the face and the voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And literally everything else can be taken care of by someone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s been incredible because over the last three years, I went from one employee to two, and now we have 10 women that are employed by my company." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s this intimate group where everyone is staying in their lane and they re living in their superpower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet they re executing on a level that I would never be able to execute at, especially now as a mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when I think about freedom, I m like, I have it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, I was sitting here just relaxing and working on the strategy and the vision while my team was executing a lot of the tasks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just think as women, we want to take on all the things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We believe we can do all the things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And while we can do anything, that doesn t mean we should do everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you mentioned that you have time to work on your strategy and your vision, which is great because a lot of people are too busy working in their business that they don t have time to work on their business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what are some of the techniques or the methods that you recommend to business owners once they have taken that step to rejuggle their priorities?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then what s the process that you use when you think about your forward vision?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So one of my biggest things that I tell people is to first take some time to define enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s really interesting to me because I run in the circle with a lot of incredible men who are so successful and they re achievement-based entrepreneurs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m actually a lifestyle-based entrepreneur." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to make enough to feel comfortable and to feel free." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t need to be on stages." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t need to be" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in all of these places to be seen, I just want to be seen with my family first and then the world second." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for me, what I recommend people do is that they define enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what does it look like for you to meet your needs, whether that s paying your mortgage or your grocery bill?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is that total amount that you need to earn to give you that freedom to then free up your time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think a lot of times we don t even establish what that enough looks like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re just filling our plates with more and more and more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like at Thanksgiving when your plate is so full and you sit down and you re like, where do I even begin?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the way that I ve been able to be the visionary is by establishing what our enough point is and only booking enough work to reach that point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then having that margin, that blank space, that then I can choose how I fill that, whether that s with strategy or whether that s with snuggling with my daughter before her nap time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I love about that life is that once I have margin, I have clarity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And once I have clarity, I have direction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think so many times people are just so busy on that hustle train that they never actually take that step back and get that bird s eye view of where they re going." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people also don t take a moment to think about their why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one of the things that Tony talks a lot about is having a clear mission or purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the thing that keeps you going through really difficult periods?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I used to roll my eyes at this, not because I don t think it s important, but because I didn t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think it s okay to say that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that a lot of times you see really successful people and they come at you with this really powerful mission statement that was crafted by a copywriter and you re like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just doing my thing over here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For me this year, it became incredibly clear both as a mom and as a CEO." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I set this really ambitious goal this year to save enough money to be able to retire any day that I woke up and decided that I was done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m 31 years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was a pretty big goal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I wanted to test myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would I show up when I didn t have to anymore?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the truth was is that I m showing up bigger and better because I care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I wanted people to see like anywhere that you see me these days is because I care about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for me, my why is to show women that you can do all the things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you desire to be a mom, you can be a damn good mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can also be a really great" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "CEO, and you can be an epic wife, and you can be a really good friend, and you can do all these things, and it s not going to be easy, and it s definitely not going to be glamorous, but that it s possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to have a strong enough reason behind it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s my why, at least now for today, and maybe that will change tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who knows?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going back to what you said about how you re building a brand instead of a business and the brand is you and so you can be authentically you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is something that you don t have to work at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s interesting is what you just said is basically that people are expecting us to shift into different personas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a CEO, you act a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re being a partner, you act a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a mother, you re supposed to shift and you re supposed to completely change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what they call work-life balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have your work and then you have your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Tony doesn t call it work-life balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He talks a lot about work-life integration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially for entrepreneurs, it s really key that you have that flow, that movement fluidly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to change personas every time you do something different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what does that term mean to you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Work-life integration?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what are some of the ways that you think you demonstrate that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be a great example for other people who are struggling with that same situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so I love work-life integration because whenever I thought about work-life balance as a visual person, I see this scale and I think you have to take something from one side and put it in the other in order to try to find the balance and it s never actually going to be in full balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for me, as I was thinking about work-life integration, I kind of laughed" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because before we recorded this, I was in nursing my daughter and putting her down for her nap, and then I had to come right back out and get back to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My entire life is work-life integration, and it s figuring out where do I serve my world the best right now in this moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so over this past year, especially as I ve navigated motherhood as a brand new mom, I have had to really get clear on what I need and be able to communicate that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so one of the hardest things about balancing and trying to integrate both of those things is that you re always forced with decisions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I heard all about mom guilt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think guilt just in general is when I m working, I m thinking about my daughter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I m with my daughter, I m thinking about work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we re all just walking around feeling some sort of guilt, whether we re staying at home and we re feeling guilty that we re not earning, or we re at our job and we re feeling guilty that we re not with our child more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that we have to learn how to release that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the way that we do that is by making the best decision that we can in the moment that we re in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so this past year has looked really interesting because I ve wanted to just be so present as a mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it ll be the middle of the day and I m on a meeting with my team and I m nursing my baby and I m half in, half out on both things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, but this is it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is the dream." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is what I wanted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think for" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "understanding the whole balancing, nothing will ever be in balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s going to be this ebb and flow where you are forced to choose what needs me the most right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s never going to feel fully in alignment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s the beauty of it because it s challenging you to make the best decision in the moments that you re in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s been a very interesting year navigating that and really painting that picture of what a working mom can look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so fortunate and I m so blessed to be able to work from home with my baby in the house, which also poses its own challenges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it makes me have to figure out where am I best needed right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Going into motherhood, I did something kind of radical, especially for an entrepreneur, but I literally blacked out my entire year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had not a single obligation from speaking to launches, nothing on my calendar for a full 365 days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for someone that is used to traveling all the time and saying yes to all the things, it felt really, really off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I was trusting my intuition there because I just knew I don t know what motherhood is going to feel like and I don t know how I m going to feel and if I m going to be up for these things and I don t want to be half committed to anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what was wild is I was just hoping and praying that my business could coast through this year and we d figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we actually ended up growing 40 percent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have worked part-time this entire year and part-time is being pretty generous when I say that because I ve been in and out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I call myself a naptime warrior, but I am so efficient and I am so, so dialed in on exactly where we re going." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m also not being stretched in a million directions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so while I was at home this year, I was able to have that sense of freedom that I so deeply desire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I was also able to look at my time in an entirely new way and say, okay, I have an hour right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, where is my time best spent?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where can I make the biggest impact?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so just seeing that it is not only possible, but it can actually be a gift is like so inspiring for women because I had so many fears about" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "becoming a mom, no matter if we re looking at it from a business standpoint or freedom standpoint, or just even like an expansion standpoint, like, can I handle this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so many of those fears were just put to rest when I held my baby for the first time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no, we got this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want her to see a powerful mom and I want her to see a working mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s just like navigating all of those decisions in the moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the best thing that we have specifically as women, but every single human is intuition" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so often these days we re bombarded with so much information that we lean on to blueprints and courses and all these step by step things that have worked for everyone else when deep down if we just were quiet enough and we could listen to our gut, we probably already know the answers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what are some of the tips or the hacks that you found that would be helpful for people to know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so for me, I am an efficiency freak." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when your time gets limited, that is when you really see how great you are at time management, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re working with less time these days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve got more demands on us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have figured out ways to multitask in a way that isn t distracting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think a lot of times when we multitask, we re half in on a million things and we re not actually excelling at any." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one of my favorite ones is just listening to content while I m in the shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that sounds so silly, but when I m in the shower, I m not on my phone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not half in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can actually be fully present and listening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only thing I have to do is shampoo my hair and I m pretty sure I can do that while listening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so just finding those seasons and ways that we can maximize our time, for me, that s in the shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing that I ve been doing is just choosing my mentors very wisely and protecting the scope of influence that I allow into my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially as a mom, you get so many opinions and most of them are really well-intentioned, but a lot of times it can make you doubt yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so this year I kind of did this audit and I said, what information and who am I allowing to speak into my life and how does it make me" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when I look at social media or when I look at podcasts or courses or the things that I m allowing into my scope of influence, I m really fiercely protecting my heart in those and understanding that if I m giving someone that time and space, that has to be somebody that s going to leave me feeling better than when I first showed up for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing that I do that s such a small thing, but it s made such an impact, and Tony talks about gratitude so much, but every single day I send three voice texts to people that are on my heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m a Christian, so I believe it s like a God, a divine intervention." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody pops into my head that I haven t spoken to in a while, I just grab my phone, I click a little voice note and I say, Hey, no need to respond to this, but I just want you to know I m thinking of you today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just wanted to check in and let you know I m praying for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s wild because so many times when I do that, I ll get a message back saying, oh my gosh, you have no idea how much I needed that right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it helps me to feel connected, especially in a season where I m pretty much home all of the time and feeling a little disconnected from reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those are just some little things that I do that kind of allow me to really feel like I m still making progress, even if it s a day where I m just doing the laundry and making lunch and doing naptimes, where I feel like I m becoming a better version of myself, even in the space of my own four walls." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So speaking of that, with social media, this is something that s really tricky, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re living in this world where it s so easy to become consumed by it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of people can just unplug and they just say, okay, this is a distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This doesn t serve me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going to limit it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of people are going on social media diets, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t want that false sense of reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t feel bad about themselves, what we re achieving and where we re at in our lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you re an influencer and you live in the social media world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s not an option for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, how do you cope with that constant struggle of being consumed by it and then taking a step back?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how do you free yourself from the distraction when you need to?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I love social media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so funny because I feel like nowadays people are just so frustrated with it or they re angry at the algorithm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, no, I love social media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a beautiful place to connect with people and inspire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one huge shift that is such a simple shift to make that really changes the way that you look at social media is I look at social media as my legacy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so instead of looking at it as a highlight reel or a way to share your best moments, I think, my gosh, someday my daughter s going to look at this and see a day in the life of her mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or someday somebody s going to Google me and they re going to be able to see my real life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to look back and just see the highlight reel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to see the real life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for me, just shifting that perspective from just being this marketing machine or this place to get more followers or notoriety or fame, and really understanding like this is my chance to tell my story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know about you, but I m not great about journaling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t keep a really great diary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to do all of those things and usually they are the first things to go when life gets busy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so my posts are just these little love notes from me to the universe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when you really think about writing messages that connect with just one person, that can impact one person, if just one person was truly touched by this, then I did my part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think so often we re getting consumed by the masses that we re losing the message." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I love social media, but I do definitely set boundaries to protect myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times I will ask myself, is now a good time to post?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I ll scan the room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is somebody here that could have my attention face to face?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is my daughter at my feet?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is my husband wanting to connect?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is now a good time to post?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I always teach this, and this is a strategy, but don t post and ghost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t just post and get off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing about engaging is being the engager." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t just post and expect people to engage with your content if you re not even present." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when I go to post, I want to be available and observant for the next 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so looking at my life and saying, is now a good time to post?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is the kid in bed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is Drew doing something else?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is he good?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now I can get on here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that just really helps free me up to be present for my audience then, but then to shut it off and be back into my life in a 20-minute time jump." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is great advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Jenna, this has been wonderful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you so much for your advice and productivity and letting us get a little sneak peek into your world and how you manage it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So thanks so much for being a guest on the Turner Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, thanks for having me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was so fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Today s guest was Jenna Kutcher, an entrepreneur, educator, mom, and podcaster." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can hear more from her on Goal Digger, the live workshop style business podcast that helps thousands redefine success and chase bolder dreams, or by going to www.jennakutcher.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey guys, this is Jenna Kutcher from the Gold Digger podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as an entrepreneur, I m obsessed with growing my business, but I m also a mom, a blogger, a podcaster, an educator, and needless to say, I have a lot on my plate outside of running my own business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Super important that I set goals for myself that are aligned with my purpose and that I still have time to spend with the people that are most important in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I am so excited to find out more about Tony s rapid planning method, RPM, which is a system that he used to create his $6 billion business empire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to learn more about the RPM system, register for the webinar by going to www.tonyrobbins.com slash RPM dash webinar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s www.tonyrobbins.com slash RPM dash webinar." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something unique about New Year s that tends to inspire us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s part of this idea that, you know, if you have a fresh calendar, maybe you have a fresh start, you know, a new perspective, new actions, new results, maybe a chance for a new victory in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it feels like the new year, we can almost reinvent ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like new year, new you, new year, new life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, but in truth, the calendar is arbitrary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why so many people participate in New Year s resolutions and they get horrible results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because there s something inside of us that wants to make things better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to be better as people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to become more, do more, share more, create more, give more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not quite what really works for us because we want all these things we think are going to make us happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to grow and contribute." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then what happens is everybody wants a great body, but nobody wants to work out, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you ve got to understand is that progress equals happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know what you want and you can make consistent progress, you re going to get there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to get to where you really want to be, where that sense of passion and aliveness, the results you want really do occur." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the beginning of the year, most people s idea of creating a resolution is, you know, it s time to come up with a resolution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what do they really do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They think, well, I know my soul desires more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to expand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to grow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to improve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this time of year when people think about changing, they forget that change is automatic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, your body is going to change whether you want it to or not as the years go by." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The weather is going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Relationships are going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The economy is going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything in life is always changing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to work on change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Change is automatic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Progress, that s not automatic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Progress is not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to make real lasting progress in your life, you ve got to take control of the process within yourself and it can t just be writing down" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, a couple resolutions that say, you know, I m going to lose 10 pounds or I m going to work out or whatever the case may be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, most people, when they make the New Year s resolutions, they don t really understand what it means to resolve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re just making a wish list." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They called a resolution, but it s just wishes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just kind of desires if it all comes together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what most people call resolutions, you know, and they never happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The majority of people aren t actually resolving anything within themselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re just saying, ah, this is what I d like to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so as a result, I m sure you ve read the research, 85% of people have given up their news resolutions by the second week of February." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And more than 60 or 70%, usually by the second week of January, are already off of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this year, do yourself a favor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do me a favor, too, as somebody that cares for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t set news resolutions like everybody else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Commit to lasting change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Commit to a vision of something that excites you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first step is you ve got to create a compelling vision of what you really want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A vision about what you re here to create this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A vision about what s really going to excite you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you say, well, my New Year s resolution is lose 10 or 20 pounds, that s okay, but it s not very compelling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It needs to be a compelling vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It needs to be something that you don t have to push to get to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It needs to have something you want so bad it pulls you towards it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of it this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s two types of motivation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Push, where you re trying to push through and it requires all this effort and energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem with push motivation is it s so much willpower." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got a lot of willpower and I bet you do too, but willpower doesn t last." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s pull, where you have something so exciting, so attractive, something you want so bad, that it can get you up early and keep you up late and excite you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of, oh, you know, I m going to lose 10 or 20 pounds this year, or this month, or this quarter, or whatever the case may be, how about, I m going to be in the best shape of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to get shredded." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to get ripped." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to look and feel the best ever of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to stand in front of the mirror and go, yeah, that s what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anything that brings a bigger emotional intensity, a result that would pull you, a result that would excite you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now once you ve got the vision, that s nice, that s exciting, the energy of that alone will get you going, but you have to go to step two, which is you ve got to come up with a strong enough purpose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got a compelling vision, but what you need is strong enough reasons why to follow through, especially when the going gets tough, because you know it s going to happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whenever you set a huge goal or even a small goal, obstacles show up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there weren t obstacles and you just said, this is what I want, it happened, this is what I want, it happened, you d be bored out of your mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one of the biggest things missing for people is they get something that s kind of exciting initially, but then what happens for them is they don t have strong enough reasons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when problems or challenges come up," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They give up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They go, well, I wanted to have that happen, but it didn t occur." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My old teacher, Jim Rohn, used to say, reasons come first, answers come second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you get a strong enough set of reasons why to do something for your health, or your finances, or your career, or your body, or whatever it is, your relationship, if you ve got strong enough reasons, they ll push you during those tough times to keep going and get to the other side where you really want to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, if you know what your compelling vision is and you ve got really strong reasons, step three is really simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a massive action plan, or what I call a map." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a massive action plan, MAP." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think about it, it s like, okay, this is what I really want, this is why I want it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now the journey starts with action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to ask yourself, you got to write down, okay, what are all the things that might need to happen for me to close the gap from where I am to where I want to be?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would I need to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to brainstorm or write down any and all the steps you think you might need to take to make that happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what are you going to do now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you going to do now to get the result?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you make that list, you ll discover something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to do everything on the list to get the result." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just figuring out all the things that I might need to do, and then you go through and you look at those things, and what I tend to do is, there s the old 80-20 rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, 20% of your actions are going to get 80% of your results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I m getting crushed on time and I ve got a map, you know, a massive action plan just what I m going to do, I asterisk these 20% and I know if I do those, I m going to move the ball forward towards realizing that dream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But otherwise I ll go, oh, I can t get all this done and then you do nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So just a quick review." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you need to do to turn your dreams into reality?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have a resolution, yes, but make it a real resolution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a result you re committed to that excites you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step one, remember, a compelling vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you truly want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What excites you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It needs to be specific and measurable, and most importantly, it s got to get your energy going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two, you need strong enough reasons to follow through when the tough situations show up, a purpose that drives you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Three, you need that massive action plan, that map, a core action list that helps you close the gap from where you are and where you want to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you need to know that 20% is going to make most of the progress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And finally, step four, you need to put rituals in place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to guarantee you act consistently in a way that moves you towards your dream because otherwise you ll get momentum initially and you ll get off of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like we re creatures of habit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Research shows that 45% of what you and I do is on automatic pilots." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s habit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you need to do is put the habits in place that are going to make your vision a reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So once you got the vision, you got the reasons and you kind of set a new standard of what you re committed to, the standard can only be realized if you have rituals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s daily little habits that guarantee by doing those little things each day, you re going to get to where you want to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if your goal is I want to lose 30 pounds," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and your rituals get up each morning and start at Starbucks with a mocha smocha whatever and a donut." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care what your vision is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care all the reasons you got." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s gonna happen because the rituals, the habits you have in place are getting in the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make sense?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you say my ritual that I m gonna do from now is I got a trainer here at the house four days a week at 7 a.m." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guarantee you re gonna get to that goal because you ve set rituals in place that virtually guarantee it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So think of it as standards, like new standards, new visions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They set the pace, but rituals are what make it real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve devoted 40 years of my life to helping people with tools and strategies to not just change, but to make consistent progress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really want to meet you right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Set your result, set your vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you desire?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want in this 2020 timeframe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to become?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to experience?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to contribute?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to give?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to master?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once you have that clarity, you ve got to immediately take some step towards action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because one of the most important principles that s helped me succeed in my life, and I ve taught it to all my kids, is whenever I make a decision, whenever I set a goal or make an important decision, I never leave the site of setting that goal without doing something in that moment that commits me to follow through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because otherwise, here s what happens, you set your goal, you get all excited, everything s ready to go, and then you go home and you got 22 texts in the way, or slacks, or emails, or a conference call, and you lose momentum, and now you re out of state." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re out of state, you won t follow through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you do something while you re in state, you call and you book the trainer, or you book that meeting, or you schedule the situation where you re gonna have this, come to Jesus meeting with someone, you re gonna make a change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever changes you need to make," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While you re in state, you ve got to pick two things that you do right then that commit you to follow through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you do that, and you commit to it, and you make it your daily simple ritual, I promise you, you will go from dreaming about stuff to realizing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people do not realize their dreams." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people in North America and most European countries, are they fit and healthy and strong, full of energy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people in America are overweight, 70%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are most people in a relationship with love and passion where they re out of their mind?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not if they ve been around together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some are, but not most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people, are they, you know, earning what they really desire?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people don t, but a few do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my life s been committed to finding the few who do and finding out what do they do different than everybody else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do you want this year to be about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you really desire most?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want to contribute this year?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going to be your map?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what are the rituals that are going to make it real?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Please, for your benefit, do something right at the end here to get you going, to get you some initial momentum." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you take action today, you can get anything changed, but you ve got to do it while you re in state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the New Year s season of the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As we start 2020 and you re getting clear on your goals, we re kicking off a season that will help you make progress in the five areas of life that many people focus on improving at the start of a new year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Health, productivity, finances, relationships, and your career." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Subscribe now so you don t miss a single episode." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Expand your world and realize every challenge that s ever been brought to me has made me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve become more so I can serve more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I can enjoy more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s why we re here in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To bring more good, more great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To bring insight, to bring strength, to bring action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to an episode that is part of a special season on contribution called Force for Good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re exploring the 10 gifts of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll hear Tony and Sage Robbins explain each gift and hear stories of true heroes that illustrate how they show up in real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hope you enjoy this episode on the gift of joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "There have been a couple days that really stand out for me when Muriel just came alive and had full gut belly laughs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "One of them was recently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We were outside." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We like to go sit outside, get the breeze in our hair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And it was a little sunny, so I was wearing my sunglasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And Muriel honestly seemed a little jealous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "She kept reaching for them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "She kept giving me a look like, where are mine?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So I asked her pointedly, I said, Muriel, would you like to wear my sunglasses?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And she said, clear as day, yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So I go, all right, lady, let s do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I put on my sunglasses, and we proceed to have the funniest 20-minute photo shoot of selfies that she was gut-busting laughing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "She s giving me, like, West Side signals, doing, like, laying back in the chair like she s, you know, super hip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It was hilarious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "At one point, I m taking a picture, I show it to her, she looks at the camera, and she just starts laughing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And she didn t stop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We got the best pictures." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It was just one of those days where we both were like, oh, this felt so good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s Michael Piper Uny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a comedic actor, writer, director, producer, and a caregiver for Alzheimer s and dementia patients." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That story you just heard him tell is about a woman named Muriel, who has Alzheimer s disease." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two days a week, Michael comes to Muriel s memory care center and spends time with her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They go on walks outside, they do arts and crafts, they sing, she holds his hand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a big part of what Michael does is make Muriel laugh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Michael works for a company called Laughter On Call, an organization that pairs comedians with dementia and Alzheimer s patients." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For seniors that are struggling with the disease, one-on-one time with a comedian can ward off isolation and make them feel human again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It brings joy at a time that is extremely difficult for everyone, including their families and their caregivers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Joy is a short but powerful word." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What it means and how we experience joy and happiness is different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may feel joy when you re laughing so hard that it hurts, like Michael and Muriel did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There might be specific moments in your life that you felt extreme joy, like the birth of your child, or the moment you fell in love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Regardless of how you experience joy, one thing is for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Far too many people believe that joy is something that happens to them, instead of something that s created." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Joy is a choice, purposefully made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this episode, we re exploring the gift of joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to hear more from Michael and the founder of Laughter on Call, Danny Klein Modisette." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll also hear from a remarkable woman named Roz Clark, who s helping others experience joy through classical music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But first, here s a message from Tony and Sage Robbins on the gift of joy and happiness, and how we can both embrace it and create it as we move into the new year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our final session is on the power of joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when you really think about it, what does everybody want most?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They just want to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet the reality is, most people aren t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most people have all these reasons why they can t be happy, when the truth is happiness is a decision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People are as happy as they re committed to being, but more people are committed to having their life be a certain way than they are to being happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In our culture, we don t seem to value happiness at the highest level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We live in a world where there s so much available to us, so many freedoms, so many choices, but we forget the ultimate power is happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happiness is a power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happiness is an ultimate advantage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happy people live longer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s proven." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happy people have better relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happy people have better parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happy people live more fulfilled lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what does it really mean to be truly happy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most people think somehow happiness is out of their control, they have to try to chase it and find it somewhere, that something happens to us when in reality it s something we create." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, truthfully, most of the time we re getting in the way of our own happiness, aren t we honey?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we sure do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember as a younger woman, I was always chasing my happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was waiting until this great event happened in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I got married, or I had a child, or even as simple, I d be waiting for the weekend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d be in my day-to-day life and thinking, oh my gosh, I can t wait till Friday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I miss so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I miss the joy of the moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, in this life of ours, it can be beautiful and painful and messy at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I took myself out of the moment of the preciousness of the grace of the moment" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s an intimacy when we step into what life is offering us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s beautiful because as I ve aged in life experience, if there s anything I ve realized is that happiness is now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Happiness is when we drop the expectation that life should be different other than what life is offering us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t have the privilege to repeat this moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This very moment is precious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that that s probably been the greatest gift of my own awakening or waking up to this moment of life and not wanting to sacrifice trying to chase it rather than living it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our invitation to you is really simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you can t be joyful now, it s never gonna happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You gotta try your chances on the next spinning planet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So do what all great human beings do that find joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make the decision to be joyful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make the decision to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make the decision to find the good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make the decision to appreciate as opposed to judge what s happening in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s maybe the most important decision you re going to make in this lifetime." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because without it, everything else in life feels dull." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But with it, everything in life is lifted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why not go for causeless joy this holiday season?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t need a reason to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s so much out there to be happy for already." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Bring back that childlike awe and the wonder that comes from just being present in the moment and remembering how lucky we all are to be alive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t need an excuse to feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Give yourself the gift of pure joy, and if you give that gift to yourself, it ll be the ultimate gift you give everyone that you love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Thank you for spending these weeks with us, checking in with us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s been a joyous time to be with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And thank you, my sweet love, for the joy you give me every day of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no greater gift in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Happy holidays, everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love to you all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Happy holidays, everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for joining us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God bless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The number one negative emotion that people with Alzheimer s struggle with is fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I mean, how could they not?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Things are just not recognizable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So when we come in, we re just bringing like pure happiness and joy and good times and whatever it takes to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s Dani Klein-Modisette." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s an actor, comedian, and the founder of Laughter On Call, a company that brings lightness and laughter to Alzheimer s and dementia patients." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dani didn t really mean to start Laughter On Call." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, the company was born out of Dani s own experience moving her mother Muriel, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer s disease, from her home in New York City to a memory care facility in Los Angeles back in 2016." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So Laughter on Call really started probably back when my mother was still living in New York, although I don t think I had the idea in that moment, but she was living in New York City by herself and isolated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My sister lives in Boston and I live in Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "She had been diagnosed with Alzheimer s disease and we just knew that it wasn t gonna work for her to be alone there, even though we had round-the-clock care for her, but it was a very isolated life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I made the decision with my sister to bring her out to Los Angeles where I live and I have two young children and the weather just seemed like a better place for her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I found this community called Silverado Beverly Place that is solely committed to memory care, which makes it unique." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because a lot of assisted living, they have like a memory care floor or a memory care wing, but Silverado is full memory care and that s their whole way of being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They have a very specific point of view which is fear into love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s very accepting of the disease and there s no shame and all behavior is embraced and it s a joyful place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I found that and I brought my mother there and initially she seemed really okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s very beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But then I think within a couple months it became clear that she wasn t leaving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "She became depressed and withdrawn and she wasn t really eating and I was very concerned about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I was at my dentist actually and I was very upset." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And because it s LA, my dentist is like a life coach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I just was talking and I said, you know, like, I wish I could hire a comedian to cheer my mother up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think that would make her laugh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just wish I could hire a comedian." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, well, why don t you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I thought, oh my goodness, can I do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I tried it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I went home and I posted on social media looking for comedian interested in gerontology paid gig." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My phone rang like five minutes later and it was a friend of mine in New York City who was a comedian." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, oh my God, I just got off the phone with a friend of mine in Los Angeles who wants to work with seniors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like this is perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I called that person and she came over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She met my mother and she was so honest and real with her and she just sat down and she looked right in her eyes and she had like a New York accent, which was very familiar to my mother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said, I know you don t want to talk to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re probably thinking, who is this schmuck just sitting down and talking to me like this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "there was something about the experience and the word schmuck that just like my mother just started laughing and laughing and it was so great and I was so thrilled and I was like okay you re hired like just come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she started coming eight hours a week basically making my mother laugh and keeping her company and it just had this profound effect on my mother s life where she was" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "eating again and she was laughing and singing and much more engaged with the community, even for the time when the comedians weren t there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I just thought, wow, this is really remarkable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This should reach more people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, I think I ve stumbled on something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then another family approached and asked if they could have someone for their mother and have the same experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s pretty much what started it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was so undeniable that I was like, okay, well, this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "was not my plan for my life, but I d love to bring this to everyone who needs it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, Laughter on Call provides a variety of services, including individualized comedy care, where a comedian comes in and spends one-on-one time with a client, giving them the connection and interaction they often long for." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beyond memory loss and general disorientation, one of the most devastating effects of these diseases is the feeling of extreme loneliness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Each comedian also gets to know the client s history from their family, so they re able to provide them with the best, most individualized care possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I created a five-page intake form for the family, and it has all these questions about the history of their loved one, which is great because it s a joyful way for the family to get together and think, oh yeah, remember that crazy family vacation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I really want all the details of the person s life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Not just the happy stuff, but like the pet that they didn t like or a teacher that someone had that the loved one went to bat against or something, just really rich details about the person s life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that the comedian comes in with all this information and knowledge and cultural touchstones and personal touchstones to communicate with the loved one about, and they just start talking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They probably weave in their own personal material because that s just how comedians connect with people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a way to draw a person out is to talk about, well, my own fear or my own problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, I know you did X, Y, Z. And then you kind of keep throwing details of their life at them until their face lights up or singing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ll basically do anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I always like people to bring like a treat, their favorite food, because I really believe in breaking bread with another person to create connection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because even though we re definitely there to make the person laugh, given the nature of the disease, I can t promise you re going to laugh every time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But we definitely will have cognitive engagement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what we re there to do, to really see the person and be with them and make them feel loved and joyful and not bring any sadness into the room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because there s enough sadness and there s enough fear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laughter on Call also does interactive storytelling shows where a comedian comes in with a story theme in mind and takes suggestions for details from care home residents." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Together, they create a story that s compelling and very entertaining for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My favorite experience going to this one senior residence last year, it turned out it was on Titanic Remembrance Day, which like, who even knew what that was?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But they did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I came in with a comedian and we set it up that the ship was going down and we were friends on the ship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was wonderful because there s so many places to go on a ship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had to go to the kitchen and get snacks, go to our rooms and pack suitcases, and then you engage everybody in, what should we bring?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The ship s going down, what should we bring?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What was really interesting is you would think it would be really dark," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But there was one woman there who knew every fact about the Titanic, and she just kept calling out all these specifics, which was so funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We had to say goodbye to the band, we passed through the ballroom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Music is always so wonderful to connect a room of people, and so we decided that they were playing Amazing Grace, and the whole room sang Amazing Grace as the ship was going down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We got in a dinghy, and we made it to New York, and it turned out that my friend on the ship was really my long-lost sister, and our parents were there, and we lived." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was super, super fun, but finding out one person was really into cruises, so he played the captain, and he knew everything about being a captain, because there are still spaces in their brain that have information." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what could have been, like, really depressing situation was just, like, everyone had a great time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was so fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Michael Piberuni has been working with Danny s mother Muriel for the past nine months with Laughter on Call." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You heard a little bit from him at the beginning of the podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here he is again as he shares why he believes comedy and laughter have such a profound impact on people with Alzheimer s and dementia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, one, I am a comedic actor, writer, director, so on and so forth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ve known from day one the impact of laughter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t know if I truly knew the impact of it medically and spiritually until I started working this job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The level of joy that laughter brings and companionship with humor is beyond something that you can even imagine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I personally witnessed joy being the catalyst of somebody staying alive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds a little strange, but I saw somebody who I was saying goodbye to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thought it was done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thought their time was over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t think they wanted to go yet because of this work, this companionship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think this level of joy that they receive from having somebody hold their hand, make them laugh, put a smile on their face, keeps them going because I think it just reignites their cognitive mind and their hearts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For me, the impact of laughter is the ultimate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It brings joy to everyone around, the workers at these memory care homes, those that are doing the work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been something to where I now lead more with joy and gratitude because of these people and working with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laughter makes us all feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know this intuitively, and science backs it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But science is also starting to reveal the particular impact it has on people with Alzheimer s and dementia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, according to research at the University of New South Wales in Australia, humor therapy can be as effective as some drugs in managing agitation in dementia patients." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And another study conducted at the Osaka University Graduate School of Medicine in Japan found that the positive effects of humor can last for weeks after a therapy session." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But comedy care doesn t just have an impact on the person with Alzheimer s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has a profound impact on the comedian and the caregivers too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The impact that Laughter On Call and working with Muriel has had on me has been beyond something I can even really describe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was some heartache that happened to me last year and beyond that really was sitting with me for a couple of years, and I knew I had to change it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This job fell into place right at the same time as well, where it just allowed me to stop worrying about silly things inside myself because I was seeing the bigger picture of what s going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with Muriel, with these other patients, and just how they needed somebody who had empathy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s made my level of empathy grow to something I didn t even know was capable of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because you have to go in there with a clear heart, a clear soul, a clear head, because there s so much going on for them that you can t bring your crap to the door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to leave it there and often by the time I m coming back to the door, by being there, my heart feels clear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels just good because I know I m getting that reaction and that smile or that laugh from them and it just makes me feel okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To truly put into words how great this has been for me is hard to say because I think you have to see it on" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the outside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The outside of me is night and day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God, it s gonna make me emotional from when I started." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to the Force for Good season of the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the 10 gifts that we re featuring this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness, please visit www.TonyRobbins.com slash gifts, G-I-F-T-S." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to find Tony Robbins products and events that can help you identify your gifts, go to TonyRobbins.com slash shop, S-H-O-P." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just heard from Danny, the founder of Laughter On Call, a company that brings comedy to Alzheimer s and dementia patients, and Michael Piper Youni, a comedic actor and Alzheimer s caregiver." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this episode, we re exploring the gift of joy and how different people experience joy in their everyday lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What joy means to you and what it feels like to you may be very different from your friends, your family, and coworkers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for many people around the world, from all different backgrounds, joy is created through expression." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, one thing that Tony says is, true joy comes from being and expressing who you really are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might express yourself through painting, dancing, or the written word." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may express yourself by fashion or the way you present yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some people, like Roz Clark, the best form of expression is through music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Roz is an opera singer, a classical soprano." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She has a full and rich lyrico-sprinto voice and a commanding stage presence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But growing up listening to Motown music, gospel and jazz, never in a million years did Roz think she would grow up to be a classical musician." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am the quintessential African-American singer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I grew up in the church." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, so I grew up in this working-class, blue-collar neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a program in Pittsburgh called Centers for the Musically Talented, and so I went to audition for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I always thought was I was going to grow up and become either Patti LaBelle or Dinah Ross and change gowns every two songs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was my plan." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I auditioned, after I sang my song, they asked me to run scales." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so they kept going higher and higher and higher, and so did I. And then they said to me, you re an opera singer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, and what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like, I was just like, who knows anything about that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m from Pittsburgh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I go to a Baptist church." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know how to sing alto." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really came to opera kicking and screaming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, child, no, no, no, no, no, you don t understand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to do the gowns, the stage, the lights, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Finally, when I got to college and I was auditioning for programs, every single college accepted me in the opera program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, okay, God, here we go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s how I finally embraced my gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Roz went on to attend the University of Pittsburgh, where she studied opera and journalism, and was part of the Heinz Chapel Choir, one of the most prestigious a cappella choirs in the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She even had the opportunity to tour all over France with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there was one night in France, in particular, that she will never forget." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As fate would have it, we were in Paris on my 21st birthday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I turned 21 in Paris." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, who does that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was absolutely amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so one of my other girlfriends who also was in the choir also sang jazz." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Lionel Hampton was in town." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The choir was predominantly white." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was back in the late 70s, early 80s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not familiar with Lionel Hampton, he was an African-American musician and bandleader who rose to fame during the 1940s and 50s, and whose achievements have made a major impact on jazz music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We just showed up at the theater and were these African-American girls coming to say, hey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my girlfriend was like, yeah, we re here to see Lionel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re from the States." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like, they just rolled out the red carpet, just let us in, gave us great seats." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then during the course of the concert, Lionel handed us the mic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got to sing with Lionel Hampton in Paris." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This particular night would end up making a lasting impact on Roz in a way she never could have imagined." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made her realize that all things are possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what I would say is, I mean, again, Pittsburgh was an amazing jazz town with a rich history." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so all the great artists came through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so having been informed by those elders who taught me and nurtured me, and then to go over to Europe thinking that I m only going to be singing in Latin and Italian and German, and just happened to be in the same city with Lionel Hampton, and again, get to show up and say, oh, wow, yeah, I can sing jazz too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I get to do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "watching this icon who was so kind and so open and so revered in Europe, that looking at that saying, anything is possible, all things are possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gave me the opportunity to be clear that I didn t have to take just one part of myself or another part of myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could show up fully and authentically as myself and say, wow, there s room for all of that and all of me in this business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Roz went back to Pittsburgh and started working while she got her career as a singer off the ground." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then, life happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She got married, started a family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She and her husband had two children, one with special needs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He had his first seizure when he was eight months old, and you can t even imagine something that little shaking that hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was a turning point for me because I had to make the decision to let my career go for my son s health and well-being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I chose to support my then-husband s career, and so I moved clear across the country away from family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got this baby who s having seizures and being transported by the paramedics every couple of days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I knew that I still had to find a way to feed my soul as an artist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Roz continued to feed her soul through music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But realizing she could never have the international classical career she d always dreamt of, she decided to do something even bigger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Concerned about the lack of performing opportunities for artists of color in the classical arts, Roz took action." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She had always been inspired by Arthur Mitchell, the first African-American dancer with the New York City Ballet, and founder of the Dance Theater of Harlem, the first African-American classical ballet company." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Growing up, like I said, I wanted to be the dancers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of my cousins got the gene." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so she was the original firebird for Dance Theater of Harlem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I had the pleasure and the honor of watching Arthur Mitchell make this amazing company and give little black girls and boys an opportunity to do an art form that they had been told, your body s not right for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I was like, well, if Mr. Mitchell can do that for dancers, maybe I can do it for singers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I made the choice to start giving." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I knew I couldn t have that career, but I wanted to give every artist of color that opportunity to live their dreams." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Roz founded Opera Noir, a nonprofit that promotes cultural diversity in the classical arts and provides educational outreach, as well as development opportunities, to school-aged children and emerging artists." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s committed to presenting classical music from an ethnocentric perspective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you talk about an ethnocentric approach to the arts or ethnomusicology, it s letting your history and who you are, where you come from, inform how you approach the arts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more than anything, Ross realizes the role of music in helping people heal and connect, regardless of race or ethnicity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I really believe is that the arts heal and that we re going to create hope and healing through the arts because there s a common bond." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care what nationality you are, what faith you are, where you come from, music is an integral part of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think if we can come together on what s common, what we can agree on, how we can celebrate one another, how we can take the time and say, oh my gosh, I see you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That song makes me cry too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Especially when you re singing classical music, people are like, I don t know what you said, but I felt it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think one of the most rewarding things about this journey with Opera Noir is we do a lot of work in underserved communities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we do free dress rehearsals and free performances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we partner with Boys and Girls Clubs and kids who would never see classical artists or know what that is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so just having their jaws drop and them looking at you with these beautiful wide eyes saying, how do you make your voice do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You would think that in this hip-hop era, kids would not be open to it, but they are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we actually created a program called From Hyden to Hip-Hop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Many of the children that Roz works with have had a history of behavioral issues, and use music as a way to express themselves in a productive way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was one young woman." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of behavioral issues and they warned me about her ahead of time and whatever and it was just a safe place for her because she had had a horrible history so there was a reason for her acting out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One day we let her sing and she opened her mouth and it was like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you never knew that this child, you know, who everybody else is like, she ll tantrum and she ll da-da-da-da." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She just opened her mouth and just beauty came out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just absolute beauty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was just one of the most touching moments of my career." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you can probably tell, Roz is the type of person that will light up a room, and not just because she s charismatic and talented." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s just someone you can feel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She radiates warmth and joy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the end of the day, the way Roz shows up in the world, to her family, to the kids that she works with, and to her loved ones, is a conscious decision that she makes every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think joy at the end of the day is a choice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For me, my theme and the way that I show up in the world is joy and vibrancy and purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have a choice of whether or not you tell that really sad story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My story could be really, really sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I chose to find the joy, and then I choose to bring the joy so that when I show up in a room, the atmosphere should change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think that that s what joy is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Joy is the choice that you make to live the highest version of yourself and then give the best that you can to mankind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team, with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s first guests were Danny Modisette-Klein, the founder of Laughter on Call, and Michael Piper Uny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the work they re doing with Alzheimer s and dementia patients, visit www.laughteroncall.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our second guest was Roz Clark, the founder of Opera Noir, a nonprofit with a mission of promoting cultural diversity in the classical arts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more, visit www.operanoir.org." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s www.operanoir.org." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Expand your world and realize every challenge that s ever been brought to me has made me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve become more so I can serve more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can enjoy more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we re here in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To bring more good, more great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To bring insight, to bring strength, to bring action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season on contribution called Force for Good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re exploring the 10 gifts of life, emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ll hear Tony explain each gift and then hear stories of true heroes that illustrate how they show up in real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We hope you enjoy this episode on the power of forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can still see it, like when I closed my eyes, I was totally conscious through the whole thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was like the entire world just slowed down and it was silent, except for just this crunching sound of my bones breaking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could see the ground, the sky, the ground, the sky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally it stopped." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I could see how far I d flipped by how long it was taking Sean to get there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he just got terror on his face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sarah Foley was on a trip in southern Utah with her boyfriend Sean and their four dogs when something happened that would change her life forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She flipped on a four-wheeler and the damage to her body was so severe that she would never fully recover the use of her legs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like anyone who has experienced this level of tragedy, the kind of accident that changes your future in an instant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was flooded with so many feelings, it was like a torrent of emotions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yet there was a hidden feeling, deep underneath, that didn t come to the surface until much later in her journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re going to hear more about that in this episode." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But first, let s hear from Toni about the F-word we often try to ignore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While we continue our series, this How to Have an Extraordinary Life on an Extraordinary Holiday, the power we re going to talk about today, let me ask you a question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a really simple one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you ever been stuck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you ever been in a place where you were frustrated, you re angry, you re sad, or you re worried, or you re stressed, and you just couldn t get yourself out of it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually that happens because there s a lack of forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Forgiveness to others or yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, you ve established in your mind how life should be, and you want to make yourself crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can tell life how it should be, but that s how life is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can say how people should speak, how they should act, what they should do, but then people are going to do what they do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And most of the challenges we have in our life are because we have unmet expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, if you want to make God laugh, tell her your expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell her your plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve heard these types of examples before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I really want to say is if you re going to have a magnificent holiday, if you re going to have a magnificent, extraordinary life, you ve got to get good at forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the illusion is that there s something to forgive, that someone did something to us, when in reality, most of the time, people are doing the best they can with the resources they have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, have you ever snapped at somebody unfairly and felt bad about it afterwards, had nothing" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not an excuse, but you understand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, then have you ever been snapped at?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might want to remember that you ve been a person who s snapped too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all doing the best we can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yes, at sometimes we re resourceful and things slow and sometimes not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want an extraordinary life, you can t have a life filled with joy and gratitude and happiness and fulfillment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If everyone has to behave a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way that meets your needs, because here s the real truth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You usually are really not forgiving yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth of the matter is, we don t all live the way we think we should, act the way we should, work out the way we should, treat our kids every moment that we should, have the mental mindset that we should every moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, but he does." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the ability to just let go, that s all forgiveness is, is let go and let God, or let go and move on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let go and let s move to something better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "rather than hanging on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other day, I saw an interesting interview." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know where it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was on YouTube, or somebody sent me something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was this professor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the professor held up a glass of water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, how much does this water weigh?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One student raised their hand and said, 8 ounces." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another said, 12 ounces." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, now, what s the absolute weight of this water?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there was a long pause, and no one could figure out what he was talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, well, if I hold it here for a moment, it might be 8 ounces." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I hold it here for an hour, he said, it s going to weigh much more heavily on my body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I hold it for a month, I might actually destroy my shoulder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, let it go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just let it go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want a holiday gift?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give someone forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give yourself forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just let it go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a gift you give yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had the privilege of meeting Nelson Mandela, such an unbelievable soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about somebody for forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody locks you up for doing nothing wrong for a quarter of a century." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If he came out of there wanting to kill every white person around, you wouldn t condone it, but you d understand why he d feel that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But instead, he said while he was there, he was preparing so that when he came out, he could help lead his country in a different place, white and black together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an incredible level of forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go, well, he s an amazing soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But so are you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so am I." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this capacity to understand that resentment just destroys us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The person you hurt and you don t forgive is you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mandela himself said, resentment is like drinking poison and then expecting your enemy to die." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This holiday season, why not have some radical forgiveness?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not free yourself, your family, your in-laws, somebody who s hurt you by just thinking, hey, really we re in survival." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all been there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s time to let go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to be Gandhi or Mandela or Mother Teresa or Dalai Lama to understand the power of radical forgiveness for your own good as well as for your family, your friends, your business, anyone else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is the way to free yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So could you choose right now to forgive someone for something?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could you just not have to wait for a perfect apology or perfect conditions or them to prove themselves?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if you were just magnanimous?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if the spirit of the holidays is really about that concept of whatever religion or whatever belief you have, that concept of just letting go and loving in spite of whatever behavior we have?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Human beings are not their behavior." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all done things we re embarrassed by, or we re sure you ve had things that have happened in your life that you hope no one would ever know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what if you didn t have to hide that out?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if you ve understood that we re all on a path of growth?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of perfection, which no human being is, you are forgiving to yourself to say, hey, I learned and I grew." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The people around me are learning and growing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all here at Earth School together figuring this stuff out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s my question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What could you let go of right now and for yourself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What wrong?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What upset?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What phrase?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What behavior?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could you just truly give yourself the gift to free yourself of?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And who else could you free?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would happen if you just let go?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could you just let it go?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you set yourself free?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now would be a good time to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If not on the holidays, then when?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give yourself a gift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give the gift to someone today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Consciously, radically forgive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no, you don t have to live in fear that it s going to happen again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all growing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all expanding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And each day is a new adventure and the exploring of what it means to be human." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the holidays are a time to maybe bring in some of the divine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blessings to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope this holiday season is touched with so much joy and so much let go that it s the best one of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As you heard Tony say, forgiveness is a feeling of letting go, of releasing yourself of all the expectations of how people should be, of how you should be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen as Sarah Foley, whom you heard in the beginning of this episode, describes this feeling that she had at her first Tony Robbins event." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I made a commitment to myself that I would just not hold back, that I would play completely full out from my heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I felt like it was 37" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "years of pressure being released of trying to keep other people happy and do the right thing and be perfect at all times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was able to let that go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I completely lost my mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I absolutely lost myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I played so fallout." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was bawling at every minute, happy, sad, every kind of tears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I felt this absolute relief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went to the event with a lump in my throat, a physical lump in my throat, and I left feeling a million pounds lighter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was able to really look back on the things that gave me the biggest struggles, such as my accident seven years ago and my parents divorce, my dad leaving the picture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was able to use those as two very big and emotional things that I envisioned putting me on the stage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They put me where I am today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go back seven years to September 22, 2012, the day of Sarah s accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had been newly dating this man, Sean, and we d been dating for about six months and just on cloud nine, we went for a weekend getaway in Southern Utah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That morning we went for a hike." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We took all four of our dogs between the both of us and it was like we were on top of the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was these beautiful big red rock formations as far as the eye could see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I looked to him and I just said, my life is absolutely perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nothing about it I would change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m super in love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got my dream job, made great money and beautiful family and friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s just nothing about it I would change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Four hours later, we took some four wheelers out for a ride." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was us and another couple, super easy ride." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had a picnic planned and just easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were on like the kind of this fire access road." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s one point where it kind of went up and around the bend, and we couldn t quite tell if it was going to be safe on the other side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the guys went on up ahead, and me and the other girls stayed back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at one point, we see the other guy, Jim, up on top of the hill, and he s waving to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He says, come on up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s safe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re good to go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what we didn t realize was that Sean, my boyfriend, was coming down the bend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I went on up first, and as we came around, I saw him, and I absolutely froze." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d been very ill-experienced on a four-wheeler, and I turned to get out of the way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He completely threw himself to the side, and had I just been going straight, I would have completely avoided him and carried on like no other day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I jerked the handlebars to the side and hit a ditch, and my front wheels caught it, and I went flipping through the air." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s amazing the things that go through your head when you re hit with an accident like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All I could think about was my second grade teacher." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s telling us this accident story of a man on a motorcycle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she said, if they just hadn t moved him after the accident, he would have been fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so in my mind, I thought, OK, if I just stay still, by the time I get help here, then I ll be OK." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I said, don t move me, call Life Flight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I said, how s my face?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He still laughs at me to this day that that was like my next worry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he gets up to me and says, babe, your face is beautiful, but I don t know about the rest of your body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t have a single scratch of blood, not even like a carpet burn, but I couldn t feel anything from the waist down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was in a lot of pain, a lot of agony." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My clavicle had broken and I had kind of landed on my one side on the left side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was holding myself steady because the crunching and splitting of my clavicle was just excruciating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it took about an hour and a half for lifelight to arrive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And during this time, I m keeping Sean calm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s just beside himself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The terror, the worry, the guilt, everything just consuming him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I made a few phone calls." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I called my mother and, you know, she still talks about that phone call." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I just said, Mom, I can t feel my legs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Life Flight finally arrived an hour and a half later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they said, OK, you know, we ve got to get you on this board so we can get you on the lifelight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they said, this is going to hurt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they just said, three, two, one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was just the most excruciating pain all over again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They got me up in the helicopter and just started pumping me full of pain medicine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I woke up 10 hours later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I woke up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in the hospital and no one was in the room when I woke up and I was intubated and I just, I remember not being able to breathe and I just started thrashing all over the hospital bed and finally a nurse comes in and she just says, just breathe, just breathe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never heard the words from the doctors, you ll never walk again, but no one really knew what to think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My aunt at one point comes in and she leans down to give me a hug and I just said, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she just pulls away and she looks me in the eye and says, don t you ever, ever ask why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That question s going to eat you alive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that answer will only come when it s supposed to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah went through so many stages, from denial, where she was convinced that she would walk out of the hospital, to distraction, as she was surrounded by friends and family, to starting over, learning how to do everything all over again, like showering and going to the bathroom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then the boredom rolled in, and she remembers the days when the only thing she looked forward to was watching The Price is Right at 11 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finally, it was the stage of getting back to normal and pretending it never happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Within six months, she was back to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She and Sean even got married on the anniversary date of the accident, because they wanted to make it a good day instead of a bad day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no amount of normalcy or positive thinking could cover up the uneasy feeling that Sarah had around being disabled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was uncomfortable with this new identity that had been thrust upon her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when I became injured and I had to then be in a wheelchair and I had a disability, the only disability I had encountered were elderly people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were frail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were weak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were unemployed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or on the flip side, maybe they were a little bit younger, but they were never healthy, a lot of overweight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s all I d seen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d never seen anyone like me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d never seen anyone still really being successful or being attractive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So these stereotypes exist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think when we think of disability, we think of those norms, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And little by little, you think that that s what you re supposed to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A few months ago, I saw a quote that said," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People cannot be what they haven t seen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that if all I d seen were these ugly stereotypes, I kind of subconsciously became that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I felt really awkward if I got dressed up in the morning, getting ready for work, it felt like I had to force it, like put on makeup, get ready, still be who you were before the accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you just don t think that you re like allowed to be anything great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because of these stereotypes that are in play." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You think that, okay, now this is my group of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now this is my community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to be frank, I wasn t very proud of that community because I hadn t really seen a whole lot of success, health, beauty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hadn t seen those things before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that I m in it, I m seeing a lot more and I m seeing us rise up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But for a long time, it was this like emotional pull." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And behind closed doors, I would hit my legs a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would just yell at them and scream at them, like, wake up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what is wrong with you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just trying to make them wake up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I couldn t understand why they were not cooperating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why could I not feel them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could see him, I can touch him, but I couldn t feel him, I couldn t move him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it drove me insane." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "going to work, I tried so hard to be the boss and hold it together for the sake of everybody else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then on my way to the car, at the end of the day, I could just feel it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The tears would rise up into my throat and under the back of my cheeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As soon as that door would close, I had a 45-minute commute every day, and I would ball the entire way home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was just like, what is going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who am I now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just felt so unnatural." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that a lot of people go through that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And after you re injured, it s like, OK, now there s a lot of adaptive sports." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember them really pushing adaptive sports." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, I could care less." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see me dribble a ball or something, I m ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care about sports." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I d be like, OK, what else is there?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they d be like, well, you can paint." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like those are my choices." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I found that there were so many other women out there like me that just didn t fit into these things that were offered to us in the disability community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There wasn t a really big push on still feeling beautiful and sexy and feminine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there wasn t a big push on the emotional side of healing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so much focus that goes into being independent physically, but then emotionally, these people are just dying inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you get on, you know, online support groups and it s just no one has anything good to say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re just pissed off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re super sad and rightfully so to a point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then no one was doing anything about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one was letting it push them to be something different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then slowly I started realizing I got round two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people go through life and they get round one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But us that have gone through an injury like this or an accident, we got a second chance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s got to be something better out there for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah s round two came when she moved to Hawaii with her husband Sean." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She immersed herself in healing, both physical and emotional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not just to be independent, but to feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She started working with a personal trainer, improving her nutrition and enjoying herself" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah started a blog and called it Vertical Blonde, not just representative of her desire to walk again, but of what she calls the vertical mindset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "control and just allowed myself to heal in the ways I needed to, I was okay in ways that I didn t anticipate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started becoming vertical in my mindset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started allowing life to work for me, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of happening to me, it was happening for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just thought, if this is happening, it s happening for me to elevate from, that I can use this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then how can I use it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then I just started getting contacted by women all over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I m talking not just the US, but Canada and across the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women wanting to know like, how do I get rid of the wheelchair tummy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how do I get happy again?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you seem so happy, you seem so fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do I do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All this information s out there, but they have to see it in order to be it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so once they were able to see me feeling good, looking good, and really embracing this journey," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They realized that they could do it too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah didn t stop at just a blog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She started a program called Disability Icon, which aims to change the image of disability and handicap from the old icon, the little blue man in the wheelchair, with a new vision." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My vision is that in the future you type disability icon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and you see these types of women that are strong, they are successful, they are healthy, they are vibrant, they are sexy, they are fulfilling their own dreams, that is what I want the new disability icons to look like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I tell them, once you start this program, now you have a new responsibility of who you gotta be to the outside world as well, because you re changing who you are on the inside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you are gonna be that person so that other people know that it s possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a living permission for these other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Frankly, everybody s got something that disables them if they choose to allow it to disable them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so everyone s got something that they need to overcome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just been really powerful watching these women rise up to the occasion, to the challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they re saying that it s impacting, you know, their friendships, impacting their marriages, them as mothers, them wanting to then be mothers because now they feel confident enough to do so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is changing lives and that is changing an entire community." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is our time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is the inclusion moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re seeing it in the media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re seeing it on New York Fashion Week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had women in wheelchairs on the runway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re seeing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a really, really special time to be at the forefront of it and know that we re a part of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been all virtual up until this point and meeting at this event and being able to hug each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, I asked each one of them, why are you coming to this event?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they said, it s for the connections." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want friends that are like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want friends that are not a victim to this, that are doing something with it, having that really great mentality and can also say, I know exactly what you re going through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s powerful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The event that Sarah referred to is Vertically, a four-day experience that she created and hosts in Park City, Utah, featuring speakers on the psychology of healing, health and wellness, and spiritual growth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tickets were sold out well in advance as women came to learn about Sarah s vertical mindset and discover how to move forward in their own journeys." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Vertical mindset is that everything that happens to us is there to elevate us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We also have the choice to let it destroy us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of people do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They choose to just stay comfortable in an uncomfortable state for a really long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that once we actually start looking at every single thing as there to elevate us, it s like the entire world opens up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Looking back, OK, my dad left me and absolutely broke my heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was probably one of the biggest things I ve been journeying through is that healing process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He broke my heart over and over again, coming back in and out of the life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And every time he did, it made me stronger and stronger and stronger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it propelled me towards this achievement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s really how I was seeking love and significance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can really appreciate that and see that now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it really did instill this achievement in me of really, really wanting to perform well and do it for the sake of kind of proving them wrong a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you had a really great daughter that you gave up on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God, without that, Tony, I ve heard him say, like, if my mom had been the mom I wanted her to be, I wouldn t be the man I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Guaranteed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I had the life that was so, quote unquote, perfect, that happened that day, the accident, forever, I ve been happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d had a great life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there would be no kind of growth like I ve had." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and the growth of this journey through being in this wheelchair and having to relearn who I am and what I m truly made of and that none of that has to do with anything superficial like it s what you have to dig deep inside because no one can do that for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is so powerful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is something that I actually really, really cherish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know that I m really lucky to have because not everybody goes through something as severe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so therefore, they don t have that opportunity to go through that much growth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s true that Sarah Foley s story, and that of many of the other women with similar experiences, is one of growth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But throughout the entire journey, there was something hidden underneath, a secret, disturbing emotion that even she could not face fully." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was blame." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This entire time since the accident, she had held Sean responsible for what happened, and it was time to forgive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So as I m kind of walking out of UPW, I d made a good friends with Mario and Mario says, okay, you know, what s your next action step?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And before the words even came out of my mouth, I said, I m going to go home and I m going to forgive my husband." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hadn t realized until UPW how I d been holding my husband responsible for the accident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I d always said I hadn t, and I knew he felt responsible, but you know, I knew it was an accident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I knew he tried to keep me safe, but in actuality, I d held him really responsible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was finally honest with myself about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as I was talking to my husband the next day, and I m just kind of like sitting next to him on the couch and holding his hand, and I just turned to him and I said," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just need to apologize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am so sorry for the way I ve treated you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I fully, fully forgive you. " }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, Oh, that s okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I know you don t hold me responsible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, No, I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I forgive you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I held him and I gave him a hug." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I could tell he s just kind of not feeling it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can remember what my girl Nyla taught me about holding it in my heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can still feel it in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just pressed my heart to his as I held him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just said, I forgive you over and over and over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just kept squeezing him harder and harder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And finally, there was that two millimeter shift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he just broke down and he just started sobbing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I started sobbing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, you have no idea how much I need to hear that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We just had this moment of release and forgiving Him and then turning Him aside and forgiving myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was such a powerful moment of what is possible and the things that are necessary we have to go through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We really have to go through the acceptance" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and the forgiveness of the moment and loving everything about the moment for what it held." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, you know, it had to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My husband s like, no, it didn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t have to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, actually, it did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That accident had to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my life is greater because of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just such a powerful moment of forgiveness, possibility of healing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s something that absolutely changed my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It changed the relationship I have with him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a release there of a resentment and anger that I d held that I really had denied for so long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to the Force for Good season of the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the 10 gifts that we re featuring this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness, please visit www.TonyRobbins.com slash gifts, G-I-F-T-S." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to find Tony Robbins products and events that can help you identify your gifts, go to TonyRobbins.com slash shop, S-H-O-P." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sarah Foley s accident and her husband s involvement in it is a pretty clear example of how one person can feel guilty and the other can blame." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a single moment that both of them remember vividly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the consequences of that event, her being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life, are also clear for everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not all feelings of blame and guilt are that obvious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to hear from Dimple Tharkar, a woman who harbored resentment for years, all against her partner, and she never really knew it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her story, their story, begins in Bolton, a small town in the northwest of England." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My parents were refugees in Africa, and mum came across with me seven months pregnant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it was quite a tough time for them, kind of finding their feet, and dad setting up his business, and mum not being able to speak any English." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she was looking for a job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I have a lot of respect for my parents, because that was tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dad was a very proud man, wouldn t" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "let mum or anybody take any benefits or anything like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, I feed my family, I go out to work and I make sure that the food that they eat is paid from my work, not from the government." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so really strong work ethics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m one of three girls, I m the middle girl." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Dad was really ahead of his time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He wanted his girls to be educated so that they would be independent financially." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His belief was that if they were educated, they could support themselves irrespective of whether they had a man or not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that was a great, great upbringing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my best friend is my husband today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was there the day I was born." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s six years older than me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His family and my family supported each other as refugees." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mum came across with my older sister, and Dad came across three weeks later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She didn t know whether she d see her husband or not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in that time, my father-in-law now" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "said to my mum, I will be your brother, I ll be your family here and took care of mum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My father-in-law is a phenomenal man, he s just wow, just incredible and he basically looked after mum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was an abusive relationship, my mum s and dad s relationship was not pleasant and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My father-in-law kept her safe and provided a safe home for her and a safe haven." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s how I built my relationship with my husband." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were best friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were raised very close, very connected." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s always protected me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Dimple and Atul grew up as best friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But about the time when she was 17 and he was 23, their relationship started to change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though her father was more progressive in his views, like insisting that his daughters be educated and independent, she still had a very traditional Indian upbringing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was not allowed to date, and no boys were allowed in the house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Atal was allowed in the house because he was raised almost like a brother and so he had privileges that no other boy would have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was 17, he was 23 and he was in my room and we were just chatting and he just kissed me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I still remember it now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the sort of kiss that my knees went, I had to sit down and life was just different after that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We kept that secret for a while and then my dad found out literally the week before my graduation ball and kicked Atul out of the house and basically didn t speak to me for three weeks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was awful because I was his princess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then he summoned Atul and I to his office, and we had to sit at his desk across from him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he basically said to Atul, what s your intention with my daughter?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I have doctors and solicitors asking for her hand in marriage, and you haven t even got a degree." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were a dropout, because he dropped out of university." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He says, you re half qualified as an accountant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes you think that you re going to be fitting for my daughter?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Besides which, she s going to go to university to be a dietitian, and I don t want you jeopardising that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Atul said, there s one thing I will let you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will always keep her in the standards that she s accustomed to because of the standards that you ve raised her with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and there s no way that I would ever stand in her way of becoming whoever she wants to be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Atul kept his promise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it came time for Dimple to choose between Edinburgh and Leeds for university, her heart was in Edinburgh, but Leeds was where Atul was, and it was closer to home." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He told her not to choose Leeds for the wrong reasons, and she needed to follow her heart, and that they would make it work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we started dating, and I was at university for four and a half years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we stood the test of time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got married the year I graduated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was really weird because Dad wanted us to get married in 95." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We wanted to get married in 96." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Dad had had my astrology charts done, and it said I needed to get married in 95 and not 96." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Atul said, OK, we ll do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so weird the way fate works out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mum was then ill in November, and she died in 96." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she wouldn t have been at our wedding had that not had happened." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I lost my smile at mum s funeral." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I blamed it on Atul, because he was cross with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we had a massive argument that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I realise now that it was frustration." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t that he was cross at me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was hurting because he had an amazing relationship with my mum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was the son that she never had." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know now that I completely misinterpreted and misunderstood that whole story, that how the hell could he be shouting at me on the day of my mum s funeral?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s when I lost my smile." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for years, without even really knowing why or how, Dimple blamed Atul for not supporting her during that difficult day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, of course, Atul was affected that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This wasn t just his mother-in-law." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was a woman whom his father had protected his entire life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was someone who was important to him, not just to the woman he loved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Dimple carried that moment with her, even though Atul showed support for her emotionally for the next two decades, through periods just as difficult, if not more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was blaming him for all the problems that we were having in our marriage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was blaming him for not understanding me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so caught up in me and so caught up in stories and all the past of how he s let me down and..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t realise how many times he was actually right there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have two beautiful children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t want children, he wanted children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we played Russian Roulette." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got pregnant with Maya." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My God, we were blessed to have Maya." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then I decided we were going to have more than one, because I didn t want an only child to suffer the loss of a parent on their own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because my sisters helped me through that with my mum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then we tried for Kira, and we lost five babies in between." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he supported me all the way through that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I never realized, and never once" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "acknowledged that he lost children as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was all about me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Between stresses from their careers, miscommunication, and a growing distance between them, Dimple and Atul s marriage seemed to be nearing its end." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They even had an exit strategy for their marriage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When Kyra was 18, they would divorce, split their assets, and time with the kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dimple had joined the Tony Robbins Platinum Partnership, though, and there was a relationship event coming up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She invited Atul." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, we need to go to a relationship, and you need fixing, because clearly there s a problem with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I laugh now, and I think, my God, what an idiot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, relationship s going to fix us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to be amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so day one, he s meeting all my beautiful Platt family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Tony says, how many of you don t want to be here?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and have been forced to come here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Three people stand up in the room." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s one of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "embarrassed but I m also so proud that he s man enough to be who he needs to be and be authentic and true because it is true he didn t want to be there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we went through the first day and it was a bit weird because I felt like he was intruding in my world." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was a bit scared about how he would respond and I felt like I was responsible for him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then in the evening he was tired and I was like, no, we have to come and socialise with all my friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s like, I just need to go to bed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m tired." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So he went to bed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we had the hugest row because he was rude for going to bed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s come all the way to Maui and he s tired." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s done back-to-back travelling prior to that because of the business and the challenges of taking on a new business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the next day I said, I don t want to sit anywhere near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You sit over there and I ll sit with my plat friends at the front." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s talk about significance." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At the front." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anne had the most ridiculous face on all day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was awful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I look back at some of the footage now, I think, God, and the pictures." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As the event wore on, the topic of forgiveness came up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dimple had asked, when do you not have to forgive someone?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she was, of course, talking about her husband." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through the 40-minute intervention, Tony worked with both of them to get to the root of the problem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Toward the end, he asked her a simple question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you going to do to make this different, to change?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When he asked me that question, I had a flash into the future, actually." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was in my rocking chair in my eighties, and I couldn t imagine Atul not being next to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was my answer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so in love with this man, there was no way I could ever let him go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I knew that I had to change." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the moment it shifted from significance to love and connection." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had the hugest smile on my face." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my man burst into tears." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he had the hugest smile." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He got me back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dimple and Atua left the islands of Hawaii with a new way of looking at each other, a newfound respect, and, of course, forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They got each other back, and they both got their smiles back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they weren t the only ones who noticed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So our youngest daughter, at Christmas time, I heard her having a conversation with Maya, our eldest." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was back from university." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Maya s going, what s going on with Mum and Dad?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all a bit strange." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not arguing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And Kiera said, it s really weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they fight, it s really just play fighting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They, like, wrestle with each other." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, like, fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maya said to us the other day, can you two just go to your room, please?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a bit embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s first guest was Sarah Foley, creator of Disability Icon and the Vertically Conference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find out more about her and her work at verticalblonde.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our second guest was Dimple Tharkar, a Platinum partner, reflecting on her experience at the Platinum private event about relationships." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "you" } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Expand your world and realize every challenge that s ever been brought to me has made me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve become more so I can serve more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can enjoy more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we re here in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To bring more good, more great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To bring insight, to bring strength, to bring action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season on contribution called Force for Good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re exploring the 10 gifts of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll hear an explanation of each gift and stories of true heroes that illustrate how they show up in real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this episode, we have the honor of hearing from both Sage and Tony Robbins on the power of grace, what grace means, how it manifests itself in our lives, and the perspective of a special guest, their close friend Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s Sage Robbins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Welcome back, everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The gift this week that we re going to be sharing is the gift of grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, I can truly say I didn t recognize grace at the same level until this chapter or stage of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I ve just slowed down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m more aware, and I m just more awake to the miracle and preciousness of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, I find that just the more spontaneously and instinctually that I experience life, rather than more pre-planned and always thinking ahead and wanting to control a situation, the more that I allow myself to flow and be intuitive, the more that I experience grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Sounds crazy, but even every morning at this stage, I just feel like I wake up and it s like, wow, God, another day of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you for beating my heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you for this beautiful day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Thank you for my family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And in that state of gratitude, I experience grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And as I notice it and as I m aware of it, I just find like life cultivates it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s cultivated by awareness and gratitude of the state that we don t do anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We wake up in the morning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Our heart beats on its own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Really, if you think of it, it s the invisible force that connects us all, or that s the fabric of existence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s like a web of benevolence that is invisible, but it weaves our precious life together moment by moment, human by human, heart to heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s just all the intangibles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s that state of existence that invokes awe and wonder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s my experience, if I m in a stuck state, or if I m fighting with reality, or if" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I believe that the circumstances are unfair and unjust." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "In that state, I miss the beauty and I miss the magnitude of grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so, you know, if we re struggling with life, if we re feeling divided, we miss being gracious to ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We miss being kind and gracious to each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "For those of you who feel like grace isn t intangible, I ll share a couple of my simple moments that I feel grace on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If I see any of my loved ones laughing so hard that they will have tears rolling down their face, it feels like a grace-filled moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I have the privilege to just witness their joy and witness their love, and I don t even have to be involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Just actually witnessing and experiencing that level of joy, it moves me to grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "My family always tell you because I m an obsessed animal lover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I can be watching out the window or outside in nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And if I see a little squirrel, you know, gathering its goodies and building a nest, I could watch that little fellow for hours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I just, I feel grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m doing nothing besides just witnessing the beauty of nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, I remember a moment this summer, we were all sitting out on the patio and my mom said, Honey, just look at the clouds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "All of us stopped what we were doing and we stared up at the sky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Grace connected our hearts in that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We all witnessed just the beauty of nature and life, these clouds moving by." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I ll never forget that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Honestly, it s lingered in my being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that was grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We have a little pup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Her name s Halo." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And in the morning, she ll get into her toy box and actually get right inside of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And she ll, like, self-select her favorite toy of the day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And she has this whole little thing that she ll go out, and she s trying to hide this little toy, this little chicken." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "She loves this little chicken." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And she ll dig in the couch, and she ll flip it in the air." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And just like her utter joy for this little toy and just her playfulness and spontaneous nature, I feel grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I feel grace in that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Grace has experienced, if you could almost think of like a simple definition, is it s like the perfection of life that exists with or without me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Tony and I went to India in our family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We went to Varanasi, India." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And it s just incredible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s almost like this explosion of humans and different faiths all coming together and all coming to the Ganges." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And we re standing on the side of this river and all this life happening in the vastest, most diverse way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It almost felt like I was landed on another planet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I felt so small, and I felt so beautifully insignificant, because all of this life is happening with or without me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just felt like such awe once again and grace that I got to be a part of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I got to witness it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "This gift of grace is sometimes missed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You know, it s missed if..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We re conflicted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s missed if we re divided." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s missed if we re judging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s missed if we re blaming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And this holiday season, be blessed with the gift of grace and allowing yourself just to slow down and notice just the little miracles around in a smile or in laughter and the sense of walking in and smelling whatever s cooking on the stove or the music that s playing or the dog that s barking or whatever s happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Just slow down and notice the miracle of existence of itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s the gift of grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "God bless everyone and have a beautiful, beautiful holiday season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of Sage and Toni s dearest and most respected friends is Michael Singer, the author of The Untethered Soul and The Surrender Experiment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen as Michael explains how grace is the one thing that transcends human concepts, and how it shows up everywhere, especially when you re not looking for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s talk about grace, as people have a misunderstanding, really, of what true grace is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace is not something you ve earned." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace is not something that s a reward or that you even pray or ask for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a gift that s much purer than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace is something that s given for absolutely no reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t earn it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t deserve it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It falls upon good people and bad people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It has nothing to do with your karma." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It has nothing to do with your past actions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace is the one thing that transcends all of our human way of thinking about things, that people who are good get good things and people who are bad get bad things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace goes past all of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grace is something that exists in the universe because it s just the nature of the universe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The universe is made of grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not a reward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just something that exists that is given to you for no reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t owe a thank you and you can t do anything to bring it to yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So for example, if it s hot out one day and you feel a gentle breeze blow across your face, it feels good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s refreshing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You did nothing to deserve that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It blows across the face of good people and bad people, rich people and poor people, anyone, anywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you don t know a thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t even think of saying thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You just accept that there s something beautiful in this universe called a gentle breeze, and it falls equally upon all beings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s easy to see in the sense of a breeze, but it s much, much bigger than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wait till you see how big it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So for example, I m told you have 24 trillion living cells that make up your body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your body s pretty important to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t think you d like to not have one as you go through your life on earth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It allows you to do so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What did you do to deserve the 24 trillion cells wake up and stay awake even when you sleep all day and do their thing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Liver cells, spleen cells, kidney cells, they re working constantly, they re communicating with each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re living cells and they have to work together to give you the gift of this body" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This body is grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You do not do anything to deserve it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You do not do anything to make these things happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t ever say thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You should." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t say thank you to your liver, your kidney, your spleen, or your pineal gland, if you even know where it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But they let you have the gift of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They let you have the gift of experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the Earth itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You did nothing to put yourself on this planet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could be on Mars." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could be anywhere in the universe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All kinds of things exist of which you don t deserve it or not deserve it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just a complete gift of grace that is given to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The problem is we don t see grace." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because we develop within our minds concepts and views about what we want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we consider grace, we limit it to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "only when suddenly we get what we want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If we work to get what we want and we get it, we don t consider that grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We say, I did it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The ego is so big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I did that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I deserve that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "All right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But if somehow something we want comes unexpected, we say it s grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I hope you re seeing grace is way bigger than that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You didn t do any of these things, even your mind and your heart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You didn t make a heart that feels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You didn t make a heart that s capable of feeling love or sorrow or anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s a gift that was given to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s just grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Your mind, everybody s so proud of their minds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They do so much with their mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if your mind didn t think?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if the thoughts didn t come?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if memory didn t work?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You wouldn t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can t do anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The fact that you have a mind that can think and dig up the earth and make all these products and build rocket ships and fly to the moon and build handheld computers and so on, the fact that the mind is capable of that is not something you did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You may have learned something, but it s only because your mind is capable of learning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The whole universe you live in is grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It was just given to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And we don t appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We think that grace only exists when we re trying to get something and we didn t think we d be able to and suddenly it happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We can t explain how, oh my God, that was an act of grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s so much bigger than that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Eventually, if you look properly from a distance to step back from your ego, you will realize that the very fact that you have a mind that can think," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You didn t earn that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Everybody has that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Human beings have brilliant minds, all of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Their mind is phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And the same thing with the feelings of the heart and with the fact that you have a body and the fact that you re on the planet Earth where there are all of these things, the trees, flowers, the fact that it rains so that it can water the trees and take care of the forests." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "All of this is grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s all grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The real gift of grace is when you stop that little way of thinking and you start appreciating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The only answer to grace is gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to the Force for Good season of the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the 10 gifts that we re featuring this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness, please visit www.TonyRobbins.com slash gifts, G-I-F-T-S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to find Tony Robbins products and events that can help you identify your gifts, go to TonyRobbins.com slash shop, S-H-O-P." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you just heard from Michael Singer and Sage Robbins, grace is in every moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like rain falling everywhere, but we often hold up the umbrella of ego to make sure we don t get wet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are times when we need it most, when we most need to put down the umbrella and just get soaked." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The story you re about to hear is how grace showed up in the life of a woman who was open to receiving it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because as Tony says, the more you acknowledge grace, the more it shows up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jen Ferris could have put a negative meaning on many things in her life, things that were out of her control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But listen as we see how grace appears in the most unlikely of places and times, but always when your heart is open and your faith is strong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re about to take you to Date With Destiny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may have heard of it from Tony s documentary, I Am Not Your Guru, on Netflix." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Date With Destiny is an event where thousands of people not only make the decision to transform their lives, but do the hard work needed to make real, lasting change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s Jen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My earliest memory was I was a young toddler, maybe two or three." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was laying on a hard dirt floor in a rural village in southern India on a straw mat and a cotton blanket covering me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Around me is the straw walls of our little shack in a village where my family members resided." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mother crawled out of the bed, stood up, covered me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was troubled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I felt she was torn out of the love for her baby daughter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She had to make a choice of keeping this blind girl who might never become anything more than playing in the dirt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with badly deformed eyes, not to marry, not to bring a dowry, not to bring pride." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or she could give the child to God and take her to the streets where a police officer would find me and take me to the children s orphanage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When Tony asked me to look into the perspective of God, I found God s truth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And God s truth said, the product of the sperm and egg are not what you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re to be a child for a different family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m sure God protected my mother" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "comforted her while she had to make that choice to give me away and leave me there on the bus stop while other children played in the schoolhouse behind me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not wanting to wait around because I don t like waiting and being told to stay here and wait for me, wait till I come back for you, I decided I would explore my surroundings" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so adventurous that I took steps away from the bus stop at the bench and decided to go back down the road to follow her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I heard a dog barking and that took me back to the bench where I scrambled up onto the top rail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was screaming and crying and then a police officer found me and he asked me, what are you doing here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why aren t you in school?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, oh, don t worry, my mother s coming back for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He said, sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He sat there on the bench with me and we talked for a while and then I guess it was obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those wise police officer knew looking into my badly deformed eyes what was the truth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But of course I didn t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My truth was my mother was coming back for me and my father God had me in his hands." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The police officer took me to the orphanage, and I came into Canada only because another child who was promised to my parents was ill, and for three times she was denied entry into Canada because of her illness, dysentery, diarrhea, fever, and the officials kept denying her entry because of her sickness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this mummy, Sandra, in the Families for Children Orphanage presented me to Ronald and Janet Ferris and asked, we had a new blind girl called Tangamani who had arrived in our orphanage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you like to take this child and bring her into your home?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we know that she is showing great promise here and she can be successful given the right environment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my parents said, we want our original daughter, Rani, and as soon as she is healthy enough to travel, we want her on the first plane." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we will take Tangamani." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, I am Tangamani." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a long time for me to accept that my Father God had a plan for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always felt that I was abandoned and never good enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And out of my abandonment, recognizing that God s grace is so huge in them, where I am and because of what s happening, it s all part of God s plan that s unfolding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All that joy knowing that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What we called abandon was actually grace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So often in life, you come up with the most painful meaning because it s painful in the moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We don t look at the full span of what those painful moments can often create." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A greater beauty than could ever have happened without them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You have touched everyone today and you ll continue to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hallelujah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hallelujah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "By the grace of God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s what hallelujah means." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I used to do a program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "for 14 days and nights called certification." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And one night towards the end, we would go pick people off the street, homeless people, people in the worst shape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I would turn to teams in those days that were about 20 people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they d spend about 12 days learning all these amazing skills." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I d say, you have one hour to turn their life around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And they would all start to fight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "trying to do different techniques, and then gradually they d merge and something beautiful would happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They d not only change that person s life, but they d be changed as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But I will call the night, you have no problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because the people we brought on stage had real problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The problems most people in this room have, no matter how intense they are, even those that you think are life and death, are usually preferences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "They re problems that someone else would die for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Most of our worst problems would be somebody else s greatest dream in most parts of the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We lose track, especially if you live in a modern Western culture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We forget all the grace that s around us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We take for granted the streets we drive on that we didn t pave, the books we read that someone else took years to condense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "the internet or the phone that connects us to the world instantly because someone created, or the men and women who died to give us the freedom to make such choices." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We forget the power of just even one of our senses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The ability to actually hear what s not being said, that s what real communication is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The ability to look and see all the colors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And our friend without sight is able to do that with insight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can feel her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "the ability to feel, and the ability to remember the truth that everything that s ever happened in our lives has been a gift, including the pain, and it s our job to use it to make life better within us and all those we have the privilege to touch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you ever lose track, just remember, contrast is the way to come back to reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Contrast your life to so much else that s going on on this earth, and your biggest problem will have a new perspective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The traffic seems like a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Till the car breaks down, remember?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Till you break your ankle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Till you lose that relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Till someone tells you your life is being threatened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if everything was a gift?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if life was always happening for us and not to us?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What if that was the truth?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And all we had to do is committed to find the beauty in each moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and to trust that there s a higher purpose in it all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We need to do our part, but that there is a higher purpose and that we can find it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "With that, life is magnificent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And with that, with whatever resources we have, from the dirt floor and the straw, there s something greater than anything exterior, and that is your spirit or your soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That is the higher emotions that are waiting for you to appreciate them and to express them and to use them" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Not just to be good, but to do good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Whatever that means to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that s when we rise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s when life is so meaningful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not always happy, but it can always be meaningful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And meaningful s better than happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s deeper." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It lasts more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you re happy all the time and that s all you have, your face hurts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m sure you felt it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Life gives us variety." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m grateful for the sunshine and the clouds and the rain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m grateful for the good times and the bad times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m grateful for the success and the failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m grateful for the mistakes and the grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I hope you are too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Stand up for just one moment and make the sound of your gratitude and a sense of grace for everything that s ever happened in your life now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Make it now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Make the sound of such gratitude and grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Knowing it s all been guided." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Every moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then Ennis, as of this day, is a new meaning maker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "One with better insights." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "One that knows that memories only last from one perspective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We look at another perspective, they mean something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A new set of values, a new set of rules, and new things to move away from." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Some new questions that bring new answers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "A life filled with a transform of emotion of appreciation, and gratitude, love, and faith." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "and the courage to push through whatever seems like it s not that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "With that, there is no limit to the depth of your life experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you are completely obsessed and totally focused, if you re taking massive action and getting better and better at executing, there s only one more thing you need to get whatever you want, and that s grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Some call it luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Some call it grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You might call it God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But there s no question in my life that grace is there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s those things that show up to guide you when you ve done the first two steps and your intent is something larger than just yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "That s when all of a sudden things are great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "You can benefit, but motive does matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you re trying to do something that supports you, but it supports your family as well, it supports your community, it supports your country, it supports the world, a different level of insight comes through you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And that happens, this thing called grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And I think the more you acknowledge grace, the more it shows up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I m not here to tell you what to believe spiritually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I don t believe in that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I believe you got to figure out what you believe and live it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But if you think there is no such thing as grace, or God, or infinite intelligence, or whatever the right words are for you, because words can get in the way of what s real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "If you don t think there is, it s kind of like saying the universe is a result of an explosion in a print factory." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It all just came together perfectly in sync by accident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just don t personally subscribe to that, but you can subscribe to whatever you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I just know that those that acknowledge that something is giving me the gift of life, the more you acknowledge it, the more of it you experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just heard Tony Robbins explain how when you re serving something higher than yourself, that s when grace shows up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s what pushes you through the hardest times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can bring you the clarity and insight you need to solve your hardest problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we re going to hear from Janet Taylor, a mother of three whose eldest daughter has been struggling with mental health issues and addiction for the past seven years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s now 19 and living in a group home where Janet visits her with her two other children." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this is not a story of desperation and grief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a story of strength and hope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is also a story of grace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have three children and I always knew I wanted to have children." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Avery was my first child." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember when she was born, it was a long labor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She came out and she didn t even cry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m freaking out as a mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This child did not cry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What the heck s going on?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the doctor told me later that she was just staring at him with this intensity, like, I got things to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Avery growing up would probably been what we consider nowadays a very hyper child." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was always the child I had to keep my eye on out of all three of my amazing children." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "through kindergarten she was the spirit like that s how I look back at my daughter and through elementary school in grade six she really came into her own this child wore tutus to school this child did whatever she wanted to do she was this ultimate little bubble of joy and hyperness and she was Avery it was amazing when she left grade six there was this like powerful child she was going to run the world" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She had an amazing summer and she was going into grade seven in high school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in looking back, I can honestly say that that summer, her friend group started to change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She entered grade seven in this new high school and she was all excited and she was still that bubbly personality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But school starts in September." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "About November, this child was changing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was still semi-warm at that time of year, and she was wearing sweatshirts and long pants, and she was starting to want to dye her hair, and she was becoming really negative." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was pushing back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Her taste in music started to change, which is fine, absolutely fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the friends she was hanging around with, I m like, wait, these aren t the same friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a child who was really good in school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She loved school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She loved connecting with her teachers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She was joyous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She liked writing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she really started to struggle with certain things that she was like, Mom, you don t understand me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s all this stuff going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t identify it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t understand why I m hearing things, why my life is getting really dark." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was just changing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "becoming more emotional and a fighter almost in a negative sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s incredible how quickly kids turn into teenagers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And while it s completely normal for there to be changes that are unsettling to parents, like new types of friends, a change in music preference, and how they dress, it s the psychological changes that are the most difficult to understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Janet didn t understand what was going on inside the head of her little girl." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Avery didn t understand it either." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Within months, those psychological changes started having impact well beyond her choices in clothes, music, and friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her grades started dropping." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her behavior got worse." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was sullen, angry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Avery s feelings were so powerful that it was like an invisible force had taken her over, taken over the family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then suddenly, the invisible became visible in a picture that at first, Janet couldn t even comprehend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember sitting upstairs in the front room at home and my son comes to me and he s crying and he s two years younger than his sister." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he comes to me and he s crying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, Oh my God, what s going on?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going on?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He was devastated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s holding his little thing in front of me and there s a picture on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he s like, Mommy, what is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All I see is this arm, but it s like a bloody arm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like got this heart in it, but it s been carved into this arm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I had no idea what this was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, what is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He goes, Avery did this mom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She took this picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, I don t understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t understand this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I go and see Avery and I m like freaking out because I m just not understanding what this is, not processing now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I understood something was very wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she flipped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was throwing stuff at me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was to the point of what I see now as a very violent episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Her father and I were not together at the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s a social worker, so I call him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, Rob, this is what Michael found." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is what Avery... What do we do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And time stood still from that day for probably those four years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What Janet and Rob experienced with their daughter Avery is not a rare occurrence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Self-harm in teenagers is shockingly common." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About 8% or 1 in 12 teenagers have deliberately hurt themselves, most often by cutting or burning their own flesh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can manifest as lightly as pulling out hair or as serious as suicide attempts like swallowing pills or trying to hang, electrocute, drown, or suffocate themselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Psychiatrists believe that this behavior is caused by the surge of hormones and unfamiliar emotions that teenagers brains are just not mature enough to cope with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And self-harm can temporarily relieve that tension and numb or distract from their emotional pain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In 90% of cases, teenagers stop doing it all on their own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for many kids, they need professional help." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we took her to see the psychiatrist and she sat down and we had many sessions with her, with Avery, on our own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This self-harm led to a lot of bad scenarios with over-the-counter medication." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And at home now, the suicidal ideations are coming in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Where I remember specifically one day, she took 43 Tylenols." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So within this year, she s now failing school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We come now into June, July." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The family is cracking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We are under such stress to keep her safe that she s running the family, and that s not fair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was mad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There was definitely a level of anger that I do not ever want to see again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would get so angry at her out of sheer fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I realize now that that sheer fear of losing my daughter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how could she choose this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why was she doing this to herself?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why was she hurting herself?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I love this child." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, how did she not see how much I loved her and I hated her all at the same point?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I wanted her to survive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wanted to survive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Imagine yourself sitting in an emergency room, your daughter s being looked at because she s overdosed, basically." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s high as a kite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m angry and I m sitting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m being told that I need to go wait where else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And on top of that, my daughter has cut herself to the point now where one would think that this size of self-harm would require stitches." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the doctor comes in and says, Avery, do you want stitches?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, she s 13, 14 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She doesn t get to choose that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You need to stitch that puppy up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he looks at me and goes, I m speaking to your daughter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, she s 13 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m her mother." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Stitch her up, please." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he s like, well, your daughter s over the age of 12." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She gets to do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m looking at the doctor and I m going, you took an oath." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You have to help her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I get asked to leave." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m forcibly removed from this room and I m sitting in the emergency room and I remember looking up at this sign that said, 75% of emergency room visits are for mental health." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I begin to cry in that moment and go, my God, what have I done to my daughter?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m stronger than this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I had this great family, this great upbringing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why has my daughter chosen drugs?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why didn t she know better?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, oh my God, I ve let my daughter down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that led me to this darkness of, oh my God, I ve got to do even more now to help her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is my fault." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re living in a culture of blame and you and I have to free ourselves from it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Blaming others or blaming yourself never solves anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Plus, you re judging too soon what things mean." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t know what it really means yet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s good to ask, what else could this mean to follow through and find out where it is?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you do, you can have a very different experience of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all gonna face tragedies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all gonna face things that are incredibly painful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all gonna face things we can t control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The secret is for us to find the beauty and the grace in whatever life has offered us, even if it s painful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you can do that, if you can find a beautiful state even in the middle of those situations, you ll do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember getting to the point where I wrote my daughter s obituary for my own sake, just in case that one of those phone calls was going to be the phone call." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there was a certain freedom to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I believe that that moment opened me up to realizing I had two other children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in four years, I had lost a little bit of sight of these children that were in the background still, and they needed me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve realized that there were points where I forgot I had an oldest child, but I also forgot I had these two other children, and they needed me just as much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in that moment, I said, OK, Janet, if you get to control one thing for the rest of your life, what s that going to be?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I said, I m going to step up as a mom, and I m going to be these children s mom, all three of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I realized I could take control of my own life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I had been listening to Tony s audios and CDs for 20 some odd years before that, just in my life path." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he was coming to New Jersey to do this UPW." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So New Jersey isn t very far from where I am in Ottawa, Canada." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, well, I m going to go see this man in person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m going to take control from this point forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I went to Newark in 2017, and I did Unleash the Power Within with 14,000 or so other amazing people, and I went by myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And for one of the very few times in my life, I felt absolutely connected to each and every one of those people there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I started to open up to what I now call faith, but what I realized then was my purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in taking control of myself, I became blessed to realize that I truly was giving that control to something else, which I now call faith." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m blessed to realize that everything happens for a reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And in feeling that inside me, that grace and that faith truly in me like a little light, I realized, oh my goodness, I can actually make a little difference." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m going to make that difference with parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m going to share my story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When you re sitting in an emergency room and you feel that utter helplessness, when your child is suffering at a level that they ve chosen, that piece of her that was choosing that was that same piece of me that was choosing to be that disempowered parent, that helpless human I look at." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Inside my daughter was also this grace, but inside each and every one of those parents sitting in the emergency room with me or sitting wherever they are in the world, feeling that shame and that grief that they ve left their child down, there is no such true feeling because that is ultimate love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is a love inside me and inside all of us as parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As far as my daughter goes, she s doing great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s back into school for as much as she can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t judge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t criticize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just love her from this faithful light inside me that allows me to appreciate who she is and to really truly appreciate this journey she s allowed me to take with her and to appreciate my other two children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "my own larger family and every moment that I get here to make a difference and to connect with others." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "freedom to run my own business now and supporting other parents, having this amazing life I now embrace because I control it, I appreciate these moments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve come full circle that life s a gift, and I ve given life to three beautiful, beautiful, amazing souls." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they re all so unique and different." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as a mom, I appreciate now them together, their sister, themselves, their relationship growing as the three adults they re becoming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re 14, 17, and 19." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, whatever that looks like for them, I hope they get to have the relationship I have with my sisters and my family." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s first guest was Jen Ferris, a woman who shared her incredible story in front of 5,000 people at Tony s Date with Destiny event in December 2019." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our second guest was Janet Taylor from Ottawa, Canada, who created Parents Never Give Up, offering support to parents whose children struggle with addiction and mental health issues." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "you" } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Expand your world and realize every challenge that s ever been brought to me has made me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve become more so I can serve more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I can enjoy more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we re here in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To bring more good, more great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To bring insight, to bring strength, to bring action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season on contribution, Force for Good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re exploring the 10 gifts of life, emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll hear Tony explain each gift and hear stories of true heroes that illustrate how they show up in real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hope you enjoy this episode on the power of presence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Olivia is 13." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum, autism level 1, which used to be called Asperger s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s wired a little differently than me or the rest of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "By the way, aren t we all wired a little differently?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has that classification, which sometimes is helpful, sometimes it s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But she s a really special kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She is passionate about art." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She is kind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s generous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She says please and thank you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She is figuring out her way in the world as a teenage girl." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She is quite into LGBTQ plus issues and social justice and activism and she s brilliant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Mia is 11 and has type 1 diabetes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was diagnosed when she was 9 a couple of years ago and we have been managing that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She is a wizard with managing her health and actually in many ways has caused me to just step up and eat differently and think about what I put in my body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think she s raised the game for all of us in our family to think about how we perceive health." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She loves theater." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has a beautiful voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She has a kind heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She cares about animals and endangered species." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she s my little pearl." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s Ken Allen talking about his two daughters, Olivia and Mia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ken is the founder of Seaport Capital Partners, a financial and strategic advisory firm that he started just one year ago after being laid off from his job after 20 years on Wall Street." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ken bounced back, but not after a period of struggle, as he realized how much of himself he had not given to his family all those years, how checked out he d been." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was there, but he wasn t really there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In other words, he wasn t present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s hear from Tony on how important it is to be present for your loved ones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Happy holidays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Welcome back for another week here, looking at the powers and gifts we have that we can activate to have an even greater holiday and more importantly, every day of our life, a greater quality of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, I want to talk to you about a power, a gift that you can give your family here for the holidays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can give your friends, you can give it your coworkers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It ll cost you nothing and it has tremendous impact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The power of presence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is presence?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, there s nothing more powerful than a human soul rooted in the present moment at hand, free from the past or the future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Somebody who s wholeheartedly attentive to you right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re with you, experiencing life with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So much of our stress comes because we re always anticipating something in the future or remembering something from the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so many people just, they don t live in the present moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve all heard the power of now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some great authors have written about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ram Dass talked about be here now, you know, 50 years" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But really what most of us don t understand is if we re not teaching ourselves to be present, the stresses and technology of our world is constantly triggering us to leave the only reality that is this moment right here and right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know it s the only thing that s real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anything else is something you ve made up about the future, or it s a memory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And even your memories often are tainted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, Daniel Kahneman, who s just a genius in this area, talked about these two parts of our brain, the remembering self and the experiencing self." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So often in life, we go have an experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s say you re in a concert, and this magical concert is going on, and then in the middle of the most beautiful part of the song, somebody drops something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a crash, there s a bang, something s off, and people go, oh my god, it ruined everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The experience in the moment was uncomfortable, but if you really stay with it, all of a sudden the music s back and you stay present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The joy is back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything is back in a moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only thing keeping you from that is the memory of what happened a few moments ago and living in the memory of the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not even the whole past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you want to give yourself a gift, learn how to come back to this moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Learn how to experience life instead of remembering it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So often when we remember things, we remember that moment of the crash and we forget the hour and a half concert that was magnificent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because again, that two million year old brain is always looking for what s wrong, what we need to fight or flight or try to freeze from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you don t need to be in survival this holiday season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t need to be survival in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re further than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s see if we can t just experience more of the here and now just by training ourself to bring our attention to this moment and especially bring our attention to those we love and to what is beautiful in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do we experience?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t experience life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We experience our perception of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when our perception is based on some memory of the past that s tainted or some projection of the future, we re not experiencing life at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re experiencing our mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember, the mind s never going to make you happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your mind s great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I use my mind to achieve things, make things happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a good strategist, but it ll never even allow you to enjoy an apple because your mind will go, is it organic?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where did it come from?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you want more joy, bring your attention to this moment right now and look for what is beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you want more connection with the people you love most, bring them your presence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That means calm and connected." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s really what it means." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women often say, well, but my man would never be present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember I used to say with my wife, I am present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m right here right now with you focusing on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I wasn t calm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I might have been connected, but I wasn t calm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why not just slow back down and look in the eyes of those you love and experience them fresh right now in this moment, because they re different in this moment than they were an hour ago, than they were three years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Too often in life, we re not present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re looking at our partner, or our love, or our friends, or our co-workers, or whomever, and we re putting the stickies of what judgments we ve made in the past, and we re not present with who they are right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the things in our culture today is people looking back 10, 20, 30, 40 years and saying, someone did something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope they ve grown by now, but no one even bothers to look in the present and say, what are they like today?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what matters, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know about you, but I m a better man today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I work at it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sure you are too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s keep growing, but we can t experience people s growth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can t appreciate people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can t love people as long as we re living in where they were five minutes ago or five years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Presence is the ultimate gift you can give to yourself and those you love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this holiday season, forget about the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Stop obsessing about the future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Take a moment and have a moment with yourself, with your partner, with your family, with your parents, with your kids, with your loved ones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Be here now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Choose right now today to find the beauty in this moment and to fill up with a fresh experience of life and of this day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Make this holiday season what it s supposed to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A chance to connect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hard to connect when we re in our heads." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Easy to connect when we re right here now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Breathing deeply, looking in the eyes and feeling the light and the love and the joy of life and those around us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to remember, it s all a gift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As long as we re alive, it s a gift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All we have to do is come to what is beautiful in this moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this week, practice your presence and give it as a gift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a gift to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a gift to all those you love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As Tony says, the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the way we show our love and commitment to our relationship is by being present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter what your love language is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Words of affirmation, gifts, quality time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The number one way we give to our partners is our energy in the present moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Ken was not doing that for his wife or his two daughters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m just consumed by work, and that s part of my wiring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I love to solve problems, and I love to try to think about and architect solutions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so part of that is fun, but part of it is not knowing how to shut off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it actually took me the stuff that I ve done with Tony to really figure out how to manage your time effectively so that you are taking care of yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wasn t taking care of myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I brought that home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I brought that unhealthiness, as Tony says, the dis-ease that I was experiencing in my work life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It just carried through the whole day into the house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That manifested itself as anger and frustration and worry and fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All pretty negative emotions have negative consequences." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It kind of manifested itself as..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "shouting matches with my wife." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She tried to wake me up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My kids, I think, tried to wake me up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A look in their eyes after certain episodes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I wasn t listening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just, my ears were not tuned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My ears and my body were not tuned to what they were saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe they were speaking a different language." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe I just hadn t learned the language." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it wasn t just about Ken taking his work home with him and not hearing his wife and kids when they said it was a problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was also a distance between him and his partner that had grown over many years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was feeling increasingly disengaged and unfulfilled at his job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we had just drifted apart over many, many years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We weren t loving towards each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We weren t spending time together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We weren t making time for each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We weren t using the right language that lovers would use." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Being on Wall Street, I mean, it s a thrill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can grind you down, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was one of the reasons that I was extremely unhappy at work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just wasn t a good fit for that culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had some conflicts with people at work and just a lot of challenges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ken s company was then bought." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you ve ever been through a merger or acquisition, you know how uncertain of a period that can be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The stress from that built up, and Ken, like many stressed employees, turned to unhealthy habits as a way to cope with it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, half of white-collar workers and 58% of those in senior manager roles say that the stress from their job has led to weight gain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Women are more likely to react to stress by overeating, while men tend to turn to alcohol and drink more when they feel overloaded at work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For Ken, it was both." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was treading water." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t healthy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was nearly 200 pounds, 5 6 ." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "200 pounds is not healthy at 5 6 ." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was on a bunch of different medications to manage depression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t healthy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t working out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t eating right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my life had been consumed by work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, I d gotten past the point where I was learning the craft and I was kind of on autopilot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of my reviews, the head of the banking group, the advisory practice, said in some point, which was a critique, in a good way, just about effort levels, and she said 60% of you is probably equivalent to 100% of somebody else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember hearing that and saying like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m coasting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not challenging myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s kind of flattering to hear that in one respect, but it also wakes you up because who wants to play at 60%?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d rather play at 100%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It kind of had this negative spiral effect and I didn t know how to get out of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then the big bang happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The big bang, as Ken calls it, was in April of 2018." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He received a letter from his wife s lawyer saying he wasn t to come home and that she wanted a divorce." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He moved out into an apartment in nearby Boston, and then eventually bought a house in Newton that was more suitable for when his kids visited." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He heard about Tony Robbins from a longtime friend in Boston and decided to give it a try." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ken attended Unleash the Power Within, and at the end of the three and a half days, he made a decision, a commitment, a resolution." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had to fix his health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He quit drinking, cut sugar out of his diet, and started exercising every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just from changing his habits, Ken lost 30 pounds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it wasn t because that was his goal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As Tony says, you need a stronger motivation than, I need to lose 30 pounds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about becoming more consistent with your core authentic self, whether that s as an athlete or someone who has their act together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about regaining your identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ask yourself, who is the person I d authentically be if I lost this weight?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For Ken, it was someone who can accomplish all the things he sets out to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone who is strong and capable in all areas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it provides a platform from which I can do everything else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think everybody deserves health first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You should have health, mental, physical, spiritual health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Without that foundation, I don t really think you have anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ve come to realize that over the last 10, 11 months and implemented it in my life as a result." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was kind of right around the time of UPW, my first Tony event." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I hadn t actually decided to be fully in on my company until Business Mastery, really." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s really when I committed to being full-time Seaport Capital Partners, building that business, growing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s where I came up with the mission of the company, which is to empower clients to achieve extraordinary things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there are elements of that which are manifest itself through really a desire to help entrepreneurs win, help entrepreneurs achieve great things by igniting their passion, their creativity, their insights, and driving impact and change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you just heard, Ken went from being miserable in his job to starting his own company and going from someone who was never giving 100% to being the sole leader in a fledgling organization." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had to learn how to be present at work in a way that he never had to be before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "100% accountable, 100% all in, showing up every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I strive to be is somebody who shows up and is passionate about what they re doing and communicates that passion in everything that I do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As a leader, somebody who steps up and takes on challenges, even if the challenges are hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, really a passion around building something great for the long term." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is about Seaport Capital Partners, but it s also about our standing in the world and who we are as people and who we are as an organization, a living, breathing thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that starts with their leader." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got to show up as that person that I want to embody throughout the organization." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if I don t do that, then it s never going to happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The why for me is to help people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love to help people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love to solve problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m just super passionate about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can feel it in my bones, like the tingling in my bones when I think about helping clients solve really hard problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that why is strong enough for me to make sure I show up every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the things that Ken is most proud of is a project he s working on with someone he met at his church." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Norma came to the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from El Salvador in 2001, and she made a commitment when she left to give back to her country." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She d been working around the clock, doing Reiki therapy, massage, sewing, cleaning people s homes, and working as a nanny, not just to get by herself, but to have an extra $7,000 saved up to install a well in her community to provide clean drinking water for kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Without that water, they had to walk over a mile every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you imagine the start of your school day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of getting into the books or having a discussion, you go get water." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You fetch water because you otherwise wouldn t be able to live." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So she made this tremendous impact by, you know, stepping up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I since have donated to her campaign." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m working with a company I met through the Platt Network, a company called Capital Pure, which is a filtration company, essentially, that uses aqueous chemistry and nanotechnology to filter and purify water." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had this spark that what if we got that company to provide clean water to the El Salvadorian government and provide clean water to the people that way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s still a lot of diligence to do on the whole thing, and it s a bit of a moonshot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if we could do it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When Ken thinks back to how he was just a few years ago, before the Big Bang, before starting his company, before joining the Tony Robbins Platinum Partnership and attending so many life-changing events, it makes him stop for a moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Three years ago, I wouldn t have even thought about other people to that extent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, like I said, it was work and then family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to paint the brush, by the way, that I was a horrible person at home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I was a good father, but it was different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Three years ago, I guess my heart wasn t as big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a little bit more like the Grinch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then the Grinch s heart, at some point, grew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it took, I think, the Tony ride a little bit to make that happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a good thing Ken s heart grew, because his two little girls take up a lot of space." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they challenge him in ways he never imagined." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They also caused me to elevate my game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this weekend, I hadn t seen him in a while, like a month." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, Mia, how d I do this weekend?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I put a lot into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope it paid off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she said, she gave me an A, which I thought was pretty cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then she said, but not an A plus, Dad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "I said, how come?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she said, well, you were a little grumpy on Sunday morning when you were trying to rush us out of the house to get to church." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A good friend of mine actually told me last night, thank God you didn t get an A+." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s causing you to step up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s causing you to raise the bar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I hope I never get an A+." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A is pretty good though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m patting myself on the back for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels like we re building a platform for something really great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m looking forward to watching it unfold." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, none of us know when we re going to be gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tomorrow or the next day or hopefully 50, 100 years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I don t know, but I guess I m just happy for now and happy that I have things to look forward to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Christmas morning, I mean, just seeing their eyes light up every Christmas when they come down the stairs and turn the corner and see what Santa dropped off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that s what I m looking forward to right now and seeing them again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to the Force for Good season of the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about the 10 gifts that we re featuring this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness, please visit www.TonyRobbins.com slash gifts, G-I-F-T-S." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to find Tony Robbins products and events that can help you identify your gifts, go to TonyRobbins.com slash shop, S-H-O-P." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you just heard in the previous story, presence is the most important element of any relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How you show up, really show up for the people you care about is how they perceive or even measure your love for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen as Tony works one-on-one with Tim, a business owner in Australia, who s struggling with the same problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s stressed out about his work and it s affecting his relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "a lot of blindness, he s been focused on his fears and not on his love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And then his love would then have fears that would come out of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because she would feel uncertain about, like, am I important enough to him?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because in any relationship, the most important thing to someone is, are they the most important thing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "If someone else is more important, man or woman, child, friend, someone else to attract to you, that relationship s in trouble." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "If work is more important, that relationship s in trouble." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "If your girlfriends are more important, if sports are more important," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "In a relationship, that person needs to know they re the most important thing in life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But the reason is not because he doesn t love her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s not because he no longer cares as much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because he s still trying to become somebody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Somebody that s worthy of all the things he wants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And because he doesn t feel he s that, he s putting his energy there instead of with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It isn t because he doesn t love you, it isn t because he doesn t want to be with you, it s because he doesn t feel enough inside, because he lives in a culture that has trained us all that we re not enough until we do a certain number of things, earn a certain way, achieve a certain level, so that we re enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because we live in consumer cultures in Western culture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Nothing wrong with it, but it tends to make us focus on what we fear more instead of what we love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How do you feel when you re focused on what you love?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Come on guys, make a sound." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But what we need to do is figure out what you love today, because some of you don t even know anymore because you ve had the habit of thinking the same way for so long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "He thinks that if he gets a certain level within his business, a certain level of freedom, a certain level of economics, a certain level of success in that piece, then he ll be enough, he ll feel great enough, everything will be wonderful, they can go do all these beautiful things that they originally intended to do and be together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But when he gets there, it won t be enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many of you ever had something you worked your ass off for, and then you finally made it happen, and you were really excited, and it was an incredible victory?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many can remember a time like this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Come on, if you got one, make some noise so I hear you out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Think about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How long did that good feeling last?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Six years?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Six months?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "60 days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How long did you stay in that really amazing state?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How long did it take to get to achieve that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many years or efforts or decades?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And then how long did it feel good for?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Tell me yours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "What s one you can remember that was really cool?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I got stores opened up in China and had a drink with my dad and was like, yes, we did it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And then the next day I was like, okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many of you think about how long did you stay high from the achievement?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many stayed high for a year?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Okay, six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Three months, a month, couple of weeks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "The majority of you are in the couple of days, couple of more hours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Some of you a few weeks, very few of you six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So the point of the matter is, the only purpose of achieving your goals is not to achieve your goals, it s so that you become more, because what you become is what makes you happy, not what you get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because most people have this game, someday, someone, somewhere, some place, and then they re gonna be happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "The road to someday leads to a town called nowhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Because you ve seen it, you ve gone to the someday, you ve made it to the someday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many of you got things in your life right now that once were a dream or goal and they re magnificent?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many got some things like that in your life?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Relationship, business, something that s different?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And yet how many of you take it for granted, honestly?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Not consciously, just like him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Is he trying to take his life for granted?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "No, he s just letting fear and stress be the primary focus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "He s letting problems be the primary focus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "He s willing to create problems that aren t even here yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Instead of focusing on what I love and how do I strengthen it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So tell me" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "What would bring you closer to your wife and bring that aliveness and passion?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Did you have it when you first met?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Oh, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So what changed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think spending all day, every day for years and years, you take someone for granted because their familiarity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So I think that s... Around anything enough, you take it just a little bit for granted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s not meant to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s just the way human nature is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So that s kicked in a bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And, you know, we both acknowledge it and I m trying to fix that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So it s not something that needs to be fixed because it isn t broken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "What s not working is that your focus is on things that give you stress so that exhausts you and it s never enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "What s broken is you re a model of the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Now when I say model of the world, hear me now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Everything that s in your life today that you re grateful for is a result of how you look at life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So you ve got a certain way of looking at life that would get you to feel certain feelings, take certain actions, produce certain results, and create the life you have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "How many of us have married your life and you re really not happy with at all?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Here, let me see your hands." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Those are also a result of your model of the world, your beliefs, your values, your way of looking at life, the rules you have about how people should treat me, how I should treat them, how things should be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "We all have them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But we don t even, we ve accumulated over years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "And some of our beliefs and values are a reaction to our environments we grew up in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "If you grew up in an environment where your parents were overprotective, and they tried to control everything so you d never get hurt is an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Very often when you get older, one of two things happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "You either model them and do the same thing, or you throw it out and go, I want freedom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "You value freedom more than security." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Some of you model the environment you re in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Some of you rejected it and look for its opposite or something different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So if you wanted to transform this relationship right now, not at the end of this week, what would need to change now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Tell me three things that if you change them now, it would transform your relationship with life and bring back more aliveness and passion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Focusing on moments that created great joy in our life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Together, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Being physically intimate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And give me a hint." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So, clearly he s a guy, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Let s think of some moments and let s do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "That ll make it work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Now, as a female energy, she may not have the same operating system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Maybe something romantic, do something nice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that we go for granted each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I am more focused on my baby now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "So he s focused on work, you re focused on the baby, and then you both come home exhausted together, and for some reason there s no passion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But I want you both to know why they re focusing more on the baby and the business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Is it because they don t love each other?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Is it because they re bored with each other?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "No, it s because they re both trying to find a way to be enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Hers is to the child, his is to the distance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But what would happen if we were already enough, my friends?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I mean, what if we just knew that we re enough already?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Enough doesn t mean we don t grow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Just that our spirit or soul was more than enough, or we wouldn t be together in the first place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "What would happen if we remembered what we forgot?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "which is how we looked at each other when we first met, what we dreamed of before we d ever had that first kiss, what we prayed for, hoped for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But then along the way, they become habitual things like, well, then you get married, we have a big wedding, and then gotta have the kid, and then gotta get the business successful, and those are all beautiful things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "But they re not as beautiful separate than they are together, are they?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re finding your complete sense of self by being a mother, and he s trying to find it by being successful and thinks that somehow if the two of you pull this off and come together, then you ll have joy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know you ll have joy in moments, but not enough because your model of the world is pushing you guys apart instead of locking down how to bring it together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you remember what it was like when you first looked at each other, do you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at each other now the same way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There you go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that happened fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you remember, what was it that you were attracted to in this man when you met him?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": null, "text": "Do you remember?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "How handsome he is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What else was he attracted to?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She s blind, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "To his personality and he always has been really caring for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So his beautiful personality is really caring, really loving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you felt safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You knew he wouldn t hurt you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you picked a man that was safe and wouldn t hurt you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is a beautiful thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So many women do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only problem is that s not enough to have passion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Passion comes from opposite energies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And safety doesn t make you feel excited." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you ever seen a couple that everything seems to be fine, they never argue or anything else, and like, they seem to be so happy, and one of them starts kicking fights just to get some variety in the relationship?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you ve never done this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How many have seen other couples?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, safety is what she picked, and then what she got is a very safe man who s very loving, but that would not bring sparks, because what makes the planet alive is opposite poles of energy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The North and South Pole are opposite energies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You go to a plug, you got opposite energies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where the electricity comes from." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it s the same, the energy drops out, and you can have a beautiful friendship, which is pretty much where you guys are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s nothing wrong with a great friendship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a great friendship is the base of any great relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the aliveness you both want, you re getting from separate places, and that s not feeling as good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because then you ll make up stories eventually about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then those stories start to control us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, change your story, change your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because the biggest challenge inside our blueprints is we got stories that are outdated, and we re reacting to them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what caused you to be attracted to this woman when you met her?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was the first thing you... She s smoking hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hot?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is she still?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Super hot, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Super hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what about her was hot?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What about her pulled you towards her?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, her energy is really beautiful as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, where do we go from here?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we wanted to solve this right now, what would he need to do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would you need to do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What I need to do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Answer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give me the instructions, I will execute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We need to be more focused in the present, in the moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More focused in the present?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No, in the future." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "We are more in the future." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re always in the future." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he is too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to bring more moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how would you bring it to the present?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It would be a new habit though, wouldn t it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s focused on the future and he s using faith or fear, which one?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because, oh my God, what if this happens?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s a reason, because he s trying to anticipate so those problems don t show up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in doing it, he s lowering his energy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In doing it, he s producing stress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In doing it, he s making stress his focus instead of love his focus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s pretty hard for him." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But she does the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You think of the future in terms of what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you focus on about the future?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No, I a little bit more in the present." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re more in the present?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, it s hard not to be when the child is screaming, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Brings you into the present." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what would you do if he was more present?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would you do together?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would you experience together?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is he present right now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What would you like to do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yes, we enjoy every day more together because we are together every single day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But we need to be really in the moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what makes you feel most loved?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it the way he looks at you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it what he says to you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it things he does for you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes you feel most loved?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "The things that he says to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When he says he loves you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A certain tone of voice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A certain way of looking at you while he does it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So just do it like this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go, I love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See how it works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love you too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re the most important thing in my world and I love you more than anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was well done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s do it even better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a little rushed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at her face when I said that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah, because you re always rushed with everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No, no, with everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I mean, almost everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, this is wonderful, it s opening up lots of seeds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me just have you capture something right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our experience of life is not life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our experience of life is what our brain distorts, generalizes, and deletes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re always generalizing, distorting, and deleting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t actually experience life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Otherwise, all of us would have an event and see and feel the exact same thing, and we don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see things, feel things differently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are millions of things going on in this room right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Millions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People moving, breathing, temperatures, smells, sounds, your clothing touching you in different places at different times, your heart beating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are millions of things you could focus on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you try to focus on everything, you ll go crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your conscious mind can only focus on a small number of things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s usually called plus or minus, you know, four to seven items to give you an idea that your brain can handle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like if you ever try to drive a stick shift car before you know how to do it, in the beginning I go to this and this and this, I gotta watch the road too, no way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But eventually, driving a car becomes one chunk of focus, because you automate a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now you can drive the car and you can think about something else and you can read your text, hopefully not, and a bunch of other things simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for each of us," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got to be able to figure out how to lock in what we want, so I want to give you a way to start to succeed more with her by understanding more of what she needs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She wants presence, and most men don t know what that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You did a beautiful job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was sincere, told her she s the most important thing in your life, and it worked, but it was so quick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She wants you to linger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Am I right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at her, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re not much of a lingerer because you re rushing off to your fears." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you can still go handle those things and those issues, and you can address them fully, but you ve got to shut them off and just be with her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is what I want you to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to look at her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What just happened?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at the feeling she has, and how I could see the tears on the edge of her eyes here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instant word." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you feel?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Because I could see him through his eyes, his soul." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And he s really special, honest, sincere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it pulled you to them, didn t it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of you aren t taking the time to even do this for yourself, much less for your spouse or for your children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all so rushed around trying to solve the things that are going to make us be somebody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Never forgetting the somebodies that are right next to us who already know that we re somebody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People that love us, what we love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or those that we could love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But just a little bit oppressive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How did that feel to you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it felt intense and great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How did it feel to have her come to you instead of you helping her?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was full on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you say?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I didn t say anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How powerful was that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You didn t change anything except you went into a place of what you love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And your focus was not on yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I said to him is, look at your eyes and stop thinking about yourself and how you re coming across." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when he s thinking about himself and is she loving him, am I getting through to her?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s not with her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So all I had him do is say, look in her eyes, feel her heart and soul." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do not think about yourself and say these things over and over in your head to keep yourself focused." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will take care of you forever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at the smile when you say those words." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of a sudden, the connection is there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you to see that your biggest problem can be solved in a millisecond of presence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That everything you want is already inside you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You did not come to me for me to give you some great gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are the gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just have forgotten that you re the gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that gift can be so beautiful if we can come back to the present moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you just witnessed was a transformation on the part of Tim, the Australian business owner, as he realizes that the extreme focus he was putting on himself and his business was creating a distance between him and his partner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as we know all too well, intimate relationships are a two-way street, and they re not where you go to get, they re where you go to give." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now the question is, what is Juliana going to give?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can she show him that he s the most important person in the world to her?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, do you bring him the presents when the child is there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When your child is there, does he have your presents?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you want him present, but not you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something that doesn t have separation, that isn t about what I m getting or not getting, or you re not doing, but instead bringing here, then the question is, what does he need from you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He needs your aliveness and your radiance, which is hard when you ve been all day long dealing with the things you ve been doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you re wanting him to shut everything off and be present," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you got to also be able to bring your radiance to him and let go and make him the most important thing like you want to be as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the biggest challenges that s happened the last two decades in cultures and Western culture is most of us have put our kids ahead of our partners." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now kids expect they should be the center of attention and now they re adults and they aren t the center of attention all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now they go to technology to be the center of attention or control, but technology will never fulfill you by itself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It ll give you, it s like sugar and make you feel good for the moment, but it doesn t last." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can search and let your brain escape and go on the web and let your brain go to mush, and it feels good to let go, but it won t fulfill you long-term." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you want what you want long-term, you re going to have to decide where to put your focus, and your children is the mistake." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love my children." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have four kids." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I adore them, but they all know that they re second to Sage, always." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know what s amazing about that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That does not make them feel second." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes them feel like their parents so love each other that the place they re around is alive and joyous and happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it shows them how to make a relationship work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you put your kids first, it s the highest intent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, I want to put them first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to take care of them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re doing something bigger than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what you do is you destroy their future because what they see is a relationship that is completely separate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what they unconsciously have is fear all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because they know this is not a stable place." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you wanted to make a shift in the quality of your life, you have to decide what are you going to value most." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not going to tell you what to value, but I ll give you some triggers to consider." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have some life experience of having dealt with 50 million people from 100 countries." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so at this point, I could be an idiot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I know there are patterns that are easy to recognize." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Patterns that will mess up a relationship, patterns that will make a relationship magnificent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Patterns that ll make you angry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Patterns that ll make you excited." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Patterns that ll make you sad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Patterns that ll make you playful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you run one set of patterns and you habitualize them, it s there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what if this became the new habit?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if it was a pattern of we come first together?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we make this happen, you won t have to work on intimacy because this is intimate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, when she feels your presence, she will open to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But she s got to feel safe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s got to feel your presence." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now you know how to deliver it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now we solved that problem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what are we going to do next?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Be brave, you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you come to Him and you cut everything else off, and you just love Him and look at Him the way you did when you first met Him, what does it do to Him?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "There you go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Look at the power you got." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want some power?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s power." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s called love power." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then look at her and just feel those same feelings." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And savor it, instead of worrying how you re doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re a good man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go into her, not in yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s first guest was Ken Allen, founder and CEO of Seaport Capital Partners." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second portion you heard was taken from a 2019 Tony Robbins Date with Destiny seminar." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copyright Robbins Research International." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "so" } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Expand your world and realize every challenge that s ever been brought to me has made me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve become more so I can serve more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I can enjoy more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s why we re here in this life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To bring more good, more great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To bring insight, to bring strength, to bring action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s why we re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to an episode that s part of a special season on contribution called Force for Good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re exploring the 10 gifts of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll hear Tony and Sage Robbins explain each gift and stories of true heroes who show us how they show up in real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hope you enjoy today s episode on connection." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of a sudden I started entertaining this crazy thought of what if I just leave everything I ve ever known behind?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if I just scrap it all and start over and actually give myself a chance to design a life that I am proud of?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I wanted was to create a purpose and create a project that was bigger than myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I wanted was to get on a path that would impact me and impact others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t want to just do this for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s where the idea for my social experiment came up, in which I challenged myself to circumnavigate the globe by couch surfing, however, never using the website, but rather using human connection." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The voice you just heard was that of Celine da Costa, who made the daring decision to leave behind the life she thought she wanted, the life she had always been told she should want, to travel around the world by sleeping on strangers couches." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People told her she was crazy, that she was courting danger, and she might agree with them now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the time, Celine was so fed up with her life that she was looking for any way to escape her mundane and meaningless day-to-day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Compared to the despair she was feeling, her plan to travel around the world by couch surfing, dangerous though it might be, was the exact escape she needed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what Celine discovered on this trip is that she didn t need an escape from her life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What she needed was to dive into the deep end of life, to feel things more wholly, to express herself more authentically, and to truly connect with those around her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Celine found the literal and figurative power of love and connection, and she rediscovered herself along the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, you ll hear from Celine and a recovery workaholic who has devoted his life to giving back to the community that has given him so much in Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll hear a theme in each of these stories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we set out to help others and when we open up to them in the process, the connections that we create end up changing us too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love and connection are gifts for both giver and receiver." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Connection reverberates and amplifies as it s shared, building bridges that take us places we never thought possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All we have to do is be open to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take a listen to what Tony has to say about love and connection, and consider, where could human connection take you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s the holidays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you want under your tree?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would be the ultimate gift for you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s a gift that you ll never forget?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s a gift that would penetrate your soul?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The answer we all know is love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love is literally the oxygen of the soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Without it, we don t survive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A baby that is not physically held, love kinesthetically develops a disease." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s called failure to thrive syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Literally, a baby will die if it s not physically loved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our competitive advantage, what the universe or God has given us, is the grace of love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because out of love, we will do things that we will never do for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The love of those that we care about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The challenge is people are constantly looking for it, trying to get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when it doesn t come in the form that they want from the person they want, they re angry, they re frustrated, their expectations aren t met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet there s another kind of love, generous love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A generous lover is someone who just gives love to anyone and everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You could look at it as simple as a thing called kindness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, so many times in people s lives, they treat the people closest to them in ways they d never treat a stranger." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet, here we are on the holidays, and we let the stress and the time get in the way of who we are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At our core, we re love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when we experience it at its deepest level, we re so fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And yet, trying to go get love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, that s a tough one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Trying to give love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s always there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We get the gift when we give it because we re embodying it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love is not a thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a way of being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the Bible, we all know the phrase, love is patient, love is kind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It does not envy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It does not boast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not proud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It doesn t dishonor others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not self-seeking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not easily angered." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It keeps no record of the wrongs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s called kindness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love does not delight in the evil, but rejoices in the truth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It always protects." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It always trusts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It always hopes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It always preserves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen, if you want the most magnificent holiday, if you want to transform your life and you want to transform it right now, step back into the generous lover that s inside of you and think about what am I here to give?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What kindness could I share today?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And think about being a generous lover, not just the physical act of intimacy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Certainly you want to be a generous lover there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s all those around you, it s your dearest friends, it s your kids, it s your parents, it s the people you meet on the street." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re all so conditioned in this world to try to get what we want instantly and technology has really helped to make that happen, hasn t it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We expect humans to respond like technology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I should put a push a button and you give me what I want right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But that s not how the human being or the human spirit, the human soul works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So in difficult times, we find so much of this love is hurting because we re trying to get it from somebody else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if the spirit of this holiday, the ultimate gift you could give was your patience, your kindness, your honoring of others, your acknowledgement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "your capacity to let go of things, even if you were wronged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everyone s wronged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everybody wrongs people at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Nobody means to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if you were to give people just a little more room?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if you would just be a little bit more generous with your time or your energy or your awareness or your connection?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That willingness to connect with people, that willingness to give to people you don t even know, will change your life faster than any principle that I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, the secret to living is giving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So give that love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And think of it this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s four levels of love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s baby love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ask people all the time, are babies really generous lovers?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Are babies really loving?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And people always say yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And no, it s not true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Babies only love you if you give them what they want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If not, they scream and cry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s okay at that stage of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But some people are 40 and they re still like level one love, one dimensional love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Level two love is horse trading." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, I ll love you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll give you this if you give me that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some people do it consciously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a trade." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a manipulation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Some people don t even realize they re doing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re just giving, hoping that they ll get, and when they don t, they get mad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No one feels love by horse trading." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Then there s real love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You just give it because it s what you re made of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when we do that, that s when we feel the most alive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s generous love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the ultimate generous love is fourth dimensional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s when you love someone who s really not been good to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That doesn t mean you keep them in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That doesn t mean you let them abuse you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if you look around and you see some of the greats in history, there are people that were able to give love, even though they don t let somebody hurt them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, the Dalai Lama loves, again, prays for those soldiers who ve destroyed a part of his country, and some of them actually hurt his family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He doesn t look down on them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He hopes that they ll be released from the pain that they ve been through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See, we all are capable of a fourth level love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m sure someone has been unfair to you, but you ve been generous, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When people are being unfair and unjust, just remember we re all doing the best we can with the resources we have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Haven t you ever been in a state where you just snapped at somebody unfairly and you felt bad about it afterwards?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, it s good to remember if somebody snaps at you, being a generous lover is also just being forgiving, just letting go, remembering, hey, we re all doing the best we can, and if we can be kind to people in those moments, they never forget it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It bonds us at a deeper level of connection and love than you ll ever get by everything being perfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Same s true in your business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When there s a real challenge, if you can heal it then, if you can take care of your client, you ll bond with them more powerfully even if there was no problem at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So don t look at problems as a reason not to love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Look at problems as a reason to love more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if your holiday was filled with that kind of present and that kind of presence, giving the presence of kindness, of love, and of generosity?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you decide to make that decision and you really live the next few weeks this way, it might become just the habit that changes your whole life, not just your holidays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s practice together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s be generous lovers today and every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s catch ourselves and let s allow ourselves to fill with the spirit of the holidays, which is joy and love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re listening to the Force for Good season of the Tony Robbins podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To learn more about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For the 10 gifts that we re featuring this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace, presence, and forgiveness, please visit www.tonyrobbins.com slash gifts, G-I-F-T-S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And to find Tony Robbins products and events that can help you identify your gifts, go to TonyRobbins.com slash shop, S-H-O-P." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Matt Marks wake-up call came on a trip to Costa Rica, and since then he made drastic changes to prioritize more of what truly matters to him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Matt decided to leave behind the tech world, a lifestyle that was eating him alive, to finally pursue his dream of helping kids in need through mentorship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Matt saw a need in Jaco, Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He saw that kids were in need of mentoring, leadership training, life skills training, and a community of other kids who would lift them up and eventually lift them out of poverty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Through his work with the kids, Matt has integrated himself into his new community, where he feels a powerful sense of connection with the boys in the program, and even with their families." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He is witnessing firsthand the importance of community and the impact that love and connection has on everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Here s Matt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m from California." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In 2002, I moved to Phoenix." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m living in Phoenix two and a half years prior to ever visiting Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at that time, I didn t do vacations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t do weekends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had a friend of mine that would come to my office, like clockwork every week or once a month, and he would invite me to Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He owned property here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was just, no, no, no, I m not interested." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Long story short, December 2004, he showed up at my house and it just so happened I was buried in a big business deal and there wasn t going to be any movement from the other side for a couple of weeks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were scheduled to stay about nine days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I stayed 20." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went home for Christmas to spend with my family and came back to Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds cliche to say that I really fell in love with the country, but I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For that first year, I was never back in the States for more than a week or two at any given time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The last day of my trip, I was back in the city, I wasn t at the beach, I was getting ready to fly home, and I walked down into the barrio of a really tough neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A neighborhood, now that I m aware of, the police don t even like to go into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember walking down into it, and, you know, the kids are playing soccer on the street, and parents and some of the younger children are sitting on the doorsteps, you know, outside literally these tin shacks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I couldn t miss just the joy in their eyes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The energy was incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I knew at that time that I was missing something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These people were so exponentially happier than my very affluent circle of influence back home, my colleagues, my friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I felt that I and we were really missing something, and I wanted to learn it and experience it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Matt made the decision to move to Costa Rica that day, and soon he founded his organization, Real Jaco, in Costa Rica to fill an important void in local kids lives, to provide them the consistency that would allow them to thrive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mission for Yalhaco is to educate and empower and help our youth here to become the leaders of tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The world needs more leaders." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to give you a clear description maybe of the organization, we re like the Boys and Girls Club, except with a focus on leadership, cultivating an abundant mindset, and of course, soccer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the one sport we play and the kids here love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s such a big part of the culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But our goal is to help these kids become leaders and ultimately live richer, happier, more fulfilling lives and help break the poverty cycle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Prior to starting the organization, we had some major challenges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t have the resources here, so we don t have the after-school activities, weekends, and so many of these kids come from single-family homes, single moms, they work six days a week or 10 to 12 hours a day, and these kids are on the streets or alone or in a position to be victimized or end up in negative groups and activities, and it s really compounded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re really just filling that void and trying to surround them with the best people and give them something positive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the number one things we could do is just consistency." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more days we re open, the better off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve seen what happens on the days that we re not open, and there s a group of kids that are hanging out with people that maybe we prefer they weren t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But Matt provides so much more than consistency and leadership skills training for the kids in Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He s giving them a place where they feel connected, supported, and encouraged to grow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Through Real HACO, he s providing them with a powerful community of peers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really as a team, the kids are family, the families that come and participate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I ve learned is we haven t just impacted the kids in a positive way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve really impacted the entire family unit in the community as a whole, inspired many more people in their community, including the local municipality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The government are stepping up and doing more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We certainly don t get credit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for all their hard work, but it s nice to know that, you know, through the ripple effect that we re making a difference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it is, it s connection, it s community and working together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we discuss, not just as the adults in the organization, but as the kids, what we can do to improve our community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And through working together, as you know, that connection and bond grows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have a young boy named Jetswa." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s an incredible soccer player, an incredible young man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I met him about two years ago, and Jetswa has challenges at home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He has family challenges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s from a very tough neighborhood in the city, in San Jose, and his father was shot out in front of the house when he was approximately six years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the organization is his family and the moms in the organization are his moms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I at times, you know, I serve as a father figure, but." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The truth is, you know, he s done as much for me and the organization as we ve done for him." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we ve been able to change his life and get him back in school and earning positive grades." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we can do two things for JetSquad and those kids, we can help them continue to develop as soccer players, which they re already very good at, at least the talent compared to the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can increase his academics and get it to a certain level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He can earn his scholarship to a Division I school, definitely Division II school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s life-changing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But like you heard Matt say just a few minutes ago, it s not just life-changing for the kids in the program." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s life-changing for everyone the program touches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For the kids, for the families, for the community, and for Matt himself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the power of community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the power of real, intentional human connection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think community and family and support system is everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just one of the secrets to success in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t believe any of us get to where we re at in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I myself certainly did not get to where I m at in life all by myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s more people than I can list that have helped me get here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we re all seeking many of the same thing, whether it s happiness and joy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But connection is where the love comes from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we all want to be loved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what we provide for the kids, and it doesn t matter whether you re 19 years old, 30 years old, or 60." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all want to be loved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all want to feel validated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Matt s right, we all want to be loved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, Tony says that love and connection are, together, one of the six human needs that everyone has." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love and connection is absolutely vital to a fulfilled and happy life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when that need isn t met, you feel it deep in your gut." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s where Celine found herself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Listen as Celine describes the darkness she felt in her life, a life devoid of real, authentic love and connection, and what she did to change it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was about 10 years old when I came to the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and my first memories is just as an only child who didn t speak a lick of English, I was thrown into this completely strange environment, you know, from Rome, one of the capitals of the world, to a suburb freezing cold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was snowing at the time that I came in the middle of Connecticut." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was completely thrown in this environment that I didn t really understand and my memories since I was a child and being a teenager and through early adulthood is just feeling this crippling sense of just solitude and loneliness and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feeling like nobody really understood who I was or what I had to say or just my identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the first barrier to entry was obvious, which is I didn t speak English, so I literally could not communicate with my peers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even as I did, I remember, you know, just being picked on because I wasn t wearing the right clothes or I didn t get it because I was from Europe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember not being invited to any of the" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "parties or any of the events and just, it was an isolating experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I do remember whenever I was being counseled or mentored by people was just this pressure of what I did need to do, of who I did need to become." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, this whole like learn English so well that nobody ever knows that you don t belong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get really, really good grades and just kill it so that you can go to really good school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you need to go to corporate so you can work hard and be good and make lots of money and be successful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was almost like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From the moment I could speak English, the only thing I understood was that there was one path for me to walk, there was one way for me to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in order for me to be successful and I had to fit into that mold or be cast out again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s exactly what Selene did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She threw herself into her studies, was accepted to a prestigious college, and eventually landed a job at one of the top marketing agencies in New York City." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But something wasn t right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I struggled with anxiety, crippling anxiety and depression, because I just didn t feel like I was allowed to be who I wanted to be, who I really was to my core." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead I just had to live some placeholder life that was assigned to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going through college and then going into corporate America, always feeling like this pressure, this suffocation of who I needed to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never felt like I could really connect with anyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never felt like anyone understood me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course they didn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t being myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t even allowing myself to come out, I was hiding from me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course I was having a really hard time creating real connections with the people around me because I hid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only that, I shamed people who were themselves because of course I was projecting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And after all of that, the lifelong preparation, following the rules, dealing with her anxiety, Celine was laid off from the job she spent her whole life chasing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when that happened, something shifted in her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of a sudden, I almost had this weird break in Matrix." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something broke for me where I realized that maybe there s something that isn t this out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had this thought, but I didn t entertain it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kept looking for my new job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I put my head forward and I kept being like, okay, I m going to go get a new job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to do everything that I can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember for about a month, every day I d go on LinkedIn, I d do everything I could for me to get this new job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I d go out and I d do what I actually wanted to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would go to the park." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would meet my friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started writing that summer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started my blog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And discovered this piece of myself that I never knew existed because I didn t have the time or space to ever entertain that piece of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and realized that I loved writing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually, I loved sitting in a park and striking up a conversation with a stranger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made me feel less alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I loved having time for my friends and actually being able to give them the time and day and attention without being distracted by my phone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of a sudden, I started entertaining this crazy thought of, what if I just leave everything I ve ever known behind?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if I just scrap it all and actually give myself a chance to design a life that I am proud of?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was this voice that kept saying, what if you just leave it all behind and follow your heart instead and follow your purpose instead?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one day that decision won." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I realized, okay, I m going to do the crazy thing, but it has to have a purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I wanted was to create a purpose and create a project that was bigger than myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I wanted was to get on a path that would impact me and impact others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to just do this for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where the idea for my social experiment came up, in which I challenged myself to circumnavigate the globe by couchsurfing, however, never using the website, but rather using human connection." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My why was to rediscover what it means to be human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what better way to do that than to connect with humans around the world and put myself in a position where I had to look them in the eyes, where I had to be vulnerable, where I had to trust people, where I had to put my faith in others even though I didn t have it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to do something that would give back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as I traveled the world, not only would I stay in these people s homes, but I wanted to do something for them, to help them, whether that was something as simple as helping them around the house, or even something as complex as listening to their problems and being somebody who actually sat there with them and really was present for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went off on this journey in July 2016, and I traveled across Europe and Asia and Oceania, all the way back to the U.S." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And through human connections, through talking to everyone and telling everyone my story and my purpose and my mission," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ended up crowdsourcing my dream to travel the world, to meet people, to make something better of myself, to actually pursue my passions of traveling, of writing, of meeting others and connecting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in that year, I ended up staying in the homes of over 100 people in over 20 countries across five continents." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Human connection took Celine around the world, from New York and back again in the year that she spent traveling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this trip also taught her something profound." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I realized that we spend so much time distracting ourselves first with social media or with all the shiny things that we have as a 2019 society, all our shiny technologies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we think about work, about how do we get that promotion?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we get that next client?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the next strategy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the best sales funnel?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What it ultimately comes down to, and I believe has come down since the beginning of time, is the answer is always people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the person who s going to give you a job is a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The person who s going to stand by your side and be your friend or your partner is a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we seem to be ignoring the humanity that is behind anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you can connect to somebody and you get through to somebody, like their being, who they are as people, when you get through to them emotionally, anything else is possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mountains will be moved, exceptions will be made, loopholes will be created when you actually connect with a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, I didn t really trust people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t believe that I could pull this off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I realized is that when people helped me, they saw in me what they saw in themselves, which is a hunger for more, a desire for deeper connection, to have more out of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The people who helped me, they shared this with me, this common humanity with me of we want more, we dream more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we re going to help you because we believe in you, because we also believe in ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins editorial team, with audio editing and sound design by Jeremy Enns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today s first guest was Matt Marks, founder of Real Jaco in Costa Rica." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can learn more about Real Jaco at realjaco.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our second guest was Celine DaCosta, copyright Robbins Research International." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "you" } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,808
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re young, birthdays are exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every year that goes by gets you closer to cool shit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, oh, I m one year closer to getting my driver s license when I turn 16." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m one year closer to being able to buy alcohol and go to the bar, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re young, birthdays are exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting older is exciting because it means that you re unlocking new adult activities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re unlocking new mature responsibilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something really exciting about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This year I turned 23." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized that s sort of over for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Birthdays moving forward are not really going to be unlocking exciting things anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Birthdays for me, for the remainder of my life, are just going to be a marker of me being a year older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, for some people, that s exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Birthdays are still exciting because it s a symbol of surviving another year on this planet, which is an accomplishment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people see it as a sign that their youth is escaping them and that life is only getting worse from here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Depending on who you are, birthdays, after a certain point, can become even more exciting or even more daunting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just depends on who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Personally, I m pretty neutral." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not particularly afraid of getting older, which is shocking because I m usually afraid of everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t always been that way, but over the last few years, I ve developed a sensitivity to reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I was never afraid of dying as a kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s not true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t afraid of myself dying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was afraid of everyone else dying, like people around me dying, but I wasn t afraid of me dying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up, I was not concerned about me, about my well-being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very anxious about other people, my parents especially, and their well-being, but I was never concerned about my own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I ve grown older, my concern for my loved ones has remained, but I have also developed a concern about myself that is very..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "at times distracting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you would think, okay, as Emma grows, she s becoming more protective of herself, more concerned about her health and well-being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s probably afraid of aging, because what is aging?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting closer to death." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But shockingly, I m not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not disturbed by it, which is a relief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a breath of fresh air for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love to hear that come out of my mouth, that I m not afraid of something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will say that it feels like societally we are afraid of aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up, I saw endless anti-aging commercials, anti-aging facial moisturizer, anti-aging supplements," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "makeup that makes wrinkled skin look smoother, hair dye that covers gray hair the best, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we ve all grown up watching our elders try to cover up their aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it sort of makes sense, you know, why we re societally afraid of aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for the most part, it comes down to vanity, which is funny because I would argue the scariest thing about aging is the fact that your body, in a way, is decaying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s terrifying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, societally, it seems that we re most concerned about what it looks like on the outside, what aging looks like aesthetically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That seems to be the loudest topic when it comes to getting older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about what you look like, not how you feel or what s really happening inside of your body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe this is just the media that I ve been consuming over the course of my life, but I would say it s a pretty loud conversation and it s a pretty big concern." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did some research like surface level skimming research about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "why we re afraid to look older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it seems like it s because youth is strongly associated with health and fertility." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since younger people are expected to have more time to reproduce, these evolutionary accounts offer one reason why many regard young people as more attractive than older people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just a societal beauty standard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Younger is more beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a way, it s sort of biological." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The animal in us wants to reproduce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so naturally, we re going to be more attracted to what looks the most fertile." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s somewhat reassuring when it comes to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "why we feel this way and why this is such a prominent topic and concern." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think that there are other reasons why people are afraid of aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of pressure being an adult." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the older you get, the more pressure there is to have achieved something" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to have accomplished certain things, to have everything figured out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every year that goes by, the pressure builds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would say societally, there s an expectation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, understandably so, because the older you get, the wiser you get." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, you re just sort of expected to have shit figured out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when you re younger, you can fuck up left and right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As long as you get back on the horse," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s going to be on your team for the most part because you re young and it s expected that you make mistakes and it s expected that you don t have it all figured out yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s expected that you haven t accomplished all that you re going to accomplish in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the older you get, the more that that goes away, that leniency, I guess, about what you re up to, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people fear that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of people also fear that becoming an adult means not having fun anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know many adults that completely disagree with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that is a fear that I ve heard many people discuss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh no, you know, when I get older then I m gonna have a family and I m excited about that, but also won t be able to travel as much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I won t be able to go out with my friends as much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things that I consider to be fun are not gonna be a priority for me anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can t be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, oh, I m getting older and I might not be able to play my favorite sport anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if my body will allow me to at a certain point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s a fear that the fun ends at a certain point or the fun slowly dissipates over time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that s necessarily true, but I think that that s another reason why people fear aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, there are obviously people who fear aging for what it truly is on a cellular level, which is" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dying and not being alive anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fucking frightening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to get into that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we all are aware enough about how frightening that is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With all that being said, I do think it s interesting that the hottest topic is the fear of physically aging, looking older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been thinking about this a lot recently because even though I m still young and I m not necessarily showing signs of physical aging much yet, I have some wrinkles on my forehead and around my mouth, sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But leave me the fuck alone, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of people my age in their early 20s getting work done, getting Botox, getting filler, drinking out of special straws so that they don t get wrinkles around their mouth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The list goes on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s starting now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ve been thinking about it a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I plan on physically aging?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not stoked about dying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it s so inevitable that I ve come to terms with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m frightened about my body decaying and not feeling, you know, good anymore, but I ll cross that bridge when I get to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure that I ll have fun for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s a choice and I m going to do my best to choose to have fun for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not really concerned about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The area that I m the most confused is the vanity element, the external piece of it all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like there are sort of two roads that you can go when it comes to physically" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "aging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go the all-natural route, which means you accept it as it comes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can take care of yourself physically, exercise, eat well, sleep good, manage your stress, you know, take care of your physical body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go out of your way to do" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that, I would say, and still fall under this sort of natural aging category." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re not going and dyeing your hair to cover the gray." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not getting Botox." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not getting filler." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not getting a facelift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not getting liposuction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not getting skin-tightening treatments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not using anti-aging facial products." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re just kind of letting it happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s one way that you can go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the other way you can go is you can utilize the procedures and tactics that we have today to look as young as you possibly can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can dye your hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can use anti wrinkle products." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can get Botox, you can get filler, you can get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all these different lasers and tools and things that you can use on your body to make yourself look younger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can go that direction too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not going to lie." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really conflicted because there are things that I enjoy about both paths." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say that there s pros and cons to both." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the all-natural route." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there s something really empowering about accepting the inevitable, about owning the inevitable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and about sort of living your fullest truth in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your fullest truth is that you have gray hair, and that you have wrinkles, and that your skin sags in some areas, and that you have discoloration on your legs from where there s sunspots." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is something really beautiful about that and about making the most of it, you know, saying, I m going to take the best care of my body as I can so that I can look and feel great in my natural form." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "beautiful about that because you re truly accepting who you are at your age and the beauty that that is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, you re free." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re free in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s so stressful to chase this idea of looking as young as possible for as long as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s sort of an unattainable goal too because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In your imagination, if you re on the journey of using anti-aging methods to look as young as possible, there s no exact endpoint for that, which is very stressful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you might go and get a procedure done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might go and get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now you re like, ah, but my arm, like the skin on my arms is sort of a bit wrinkly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a bit saggy maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, maybe I need to get that done too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It becomes this hamster wheel of procedures and you never feel like you arrive at a point where you re like, I feel satisfied with what I look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe some people feel that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that can be great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll discuss that when we discuss the benefits of going the non-natural route." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s this risk of getting addicted to looking younger and younger and younger and changing this, this and that about yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas if you re choosing to do none of it and just take good care of yourself, there s something so freeing about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not at the mercy of your procedures." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re just accepting what nature chooses to do to your body as time passes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s out of your control, which is kind of a relief." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t control what gets a wrinkle next, but there s something sort of beautiful about just accepting that and letting it happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when you go the unnatural route, it is in your control because it s up to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you get filler in your cheekbones, it s up to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you get filler in your under eyes," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s up to you if you book the facelift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s up to you if you get a laser treatment on your skin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something beautiful about letting go and letting nature just do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hate to be cynical, but I also understand not loving every single nook and cranny of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, in an ideal world, we all accept our bodies for exactly what they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a lot to ask of us in a way, especially because we live in such a vain time societally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is sort of a lot to ask that we don t ever feel insecure about anything, that we accept every single nook and cranny of our bodies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be phenomenal if we could all do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s, in some ways," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "an unfair ask." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are all of these treatments available to enhance the way that we look to get rid of our insecurities and to be someone who decides, you know what, I m just going to age naturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then to feel pigeonholed by that, like, fuck, but I kind of do wish I could." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "get Botox in this one area or I wish I could go and get filler in this one area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, you know, I would love to get a laser treatment to help smooth my skin in this area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is an insecurity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for a chunk of money, I could make that insecurity go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of wish I could go do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of want to go do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is it fair to yourself" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to say, you know what, I m going to reject the societal pressure to look as young as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just going to let myself age naturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is the hill that I m going to die on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it fair to yourself to do that when there are all of these things available that maybe could alleviate some of your insecurities?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I love the idea of a world where none of us have any insecurities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of us want to go and get these cosmetic procedures." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, when it comes to going the unnatural route, you know, participating in these anti-aging cosmetic procedures, they re there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can manage to have a healthy relationship with these procedures, and what I mean by healthy is something that s non addictive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you are at a place where you re like, I accept myself for who I am, I love myself as much as I possibly can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also there are things about aging that I don t like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the way that my wrinkles look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like how my hair looks when it s gray." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I might as well get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can manage to have a healthy relationship with these procedures in a way that s rational and..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that even possible?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know because I ve never gotten any cosmetic procedures done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never even done my lips." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done nothing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No Botox, no filler." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The most that I ve ever done is get like one of those electromagnetic facials that, I don t know, kind of like snatches your face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate the word snatch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Snatches your face, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the most I ve ever done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve never done anything else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because I have an experience that I can t say for sure if there s a way to have a healthy relationship with changing your physical body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the day, I m analyzing this for me because I don t give a fuck what anyone else does." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is none of my business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the end of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my reason for asking the question, like, is it possible for people to have a healthy relationship with cosmetic procedures is because that s just data for myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, OK, if 70 percent of people can t form a healthy relationship with getting cosmetic procedures, well, then my likelihood is maybe not great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this to say, I think there is something kind of cool about the fact that this shit is available, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s also something to be said for the fact that we only live once." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do we need to go and be the hero who rejects all beauty standards and goes the all natural route?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that even make you a hero?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a huge question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it even make you a hero?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so perplexing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what is the way to go?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I also think that if there s something out there that s going to make you feel better about yourself," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if in theory we should accept ourselves for exactly who we are, that s unrealistic to ask of ourselves all the time, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there s something out there that could make us feel better about ourselves, it s right there and we could do it and we re doing it responsibly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there a reason to not do it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say the only reason not to do it is because it s promoting and adding to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the new body standard, the new beauty standard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The new beauty standard is not natural." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The new beauty standard is having different enhancements for the most part." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look at the people who are setting the beauty standard for the most part, all of them have some sort of cosmetic procedure done to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is sort of disturbing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think beauty standards in general are disturbing and a shitty part of being human, but it s particularly disturbing that the body standard now is based on certain enhancements." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is kind of interesting though that it s more accessible than ever to fit the beauty standard, not necessarily financially because these procedures are very expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting because on one hand, it s unnatural, which is kind of horrible because no one is ever going to be born into the beauty standard, or very rarely will people be born into the beauty standard anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s become something that is non-human almost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which means in order to get it, you have to go and change something about yourself for the most part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then on the other hand, it s weird because anyone can go do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not anyone, because obviously again, there s a financial barrier, but technically anyone can go and book an appointment to go get a procedure done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very interesting and it s morally very confusing because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it all comes back to this is something that s available and if it s going to make you feel better about yourself, should you not do it for the sake of rejecting the beauty standard?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or should you make a decision that s more based on your own feelings and let yourself do it because who gives a fuck?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the day, you got to take care of yourself and if you want to go do something," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hell, you should be able to go do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is sort of my dilemma." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t care what other people do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to go and get surgery and make yourself look like a two-year-old because you want to look really, really young, okay, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s none of my business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go ahead and book that appointment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, be my guest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is none of my fucking business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has nothing to do with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I am, again, analyzing this for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I go back and forth on it all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a lot of factors that I consider." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I have a history of really bad body dysmorphia." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That makes me vulnerable to becoming addicted to various procedures." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "possibly overdoing it, you know, getting too much done and looking not human anymore because of my body dysmorphia." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I am at risk of that because I have suffered from that so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a factor that I consider." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also consider my happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going to make me happy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost think that there s no way to predict." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I might turn 60 years old and say, fuck it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s what I want to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s going to make me happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something that s going to make me feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to fulfill me, but that s something I want to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that is what I m going to want to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also love the idea of going the natural route and setting myself free." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say I m not doing anything now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the most that I do now is eat well, exercise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I quit vaping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not vaped in a very long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll hit a vape every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody has a vape around me," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re blowing it in my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll say, if you don t fucking let me hit that, it s done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m throwing that thing out the fucking window, which is ironic because I used to be hitting my vape all the time in front of everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, I ll hit a friend s vape every once in a while if it s around me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rarely, like maybe once a month, if that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gone months without it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I quit that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not, you know, I keep my drinking under control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go through long phases of not drinking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ll have little phases of drinking too, because I got to live a little." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do any drugs at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I m not into that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to manage my sleep and my stress as best as I can so that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "again, so that I m in the healthiest state possible, I m going to do that for as long as I can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I might never get Botox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might never get filler." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might never get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might never get the laser treatments done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go the all natural route." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t want to say that because I don t know if I m ready to die on that hill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I was though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I wish I could say with every fiber of my being, I know for a fact that that s the route I m going to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because although I think I m morally aligned with that, I also think that you only live once and if something s going to make you feel good and you can do it in a healthy way," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s available, I can t decide if it s like having a devil and an angel on your shoulder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is running away from aging wrong?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is getting cosmetic procedures done wrong?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think so, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t, I m not saying it s wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it wrong for others?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m more talking about, is it wrong for me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do I not align with that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for myself, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the world, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do whatever you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do have this overwhelming feeling in my gut that anytime that you are running away from the truth," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re running away from the inevitable, you ll fail in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And aging and getting wrinkles and getting gray hair is inevitable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the truth of the situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like how you can t have your cake and eat it too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never once in my life been able to have my cake and eat it too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s certain truths in life that you can t avoid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Aging is one of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, treating people badly is another one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can t treat your friends badly, but then also keep those friendships for the rest of your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Friends are going to leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t date somebody who s bad for you and then be happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t get to run away" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from aging and not have it bite you in the ass in some way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there s levels to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really do think it depends on the person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s going to be curious to see what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also even weirder, I think, for me, because I am in the public eye and, you know, my appearance is heavily scrutinized." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not heavily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m lucky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get it nearly as bad as other public figures, but I do get judged for my appearance 1,000%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, something that comes to mind is some news outlet posted an article." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The title of the article was, Gen Z is aging worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "than other generations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is this the case?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it because of cosmetic surgeries?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like why are they aging badly?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was a photo of me wearing no makeup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you can see my forehead lines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have lines on my forehead from" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being very emotive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I had dark circles under my eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had, you know, my eyes were kind of deep set in the photo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had maybe a bit of wrinkles around my mouth in the photo because I was making a facial expression." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they used my photo to demonstrate how Gen Z is not aging very well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t, that kind of ticked me off, but it didn t bother me that, it s fine, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not as upset by that, but it s also because I am still young, and I m not showing that many signs of aging yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not bothering me yet, but it s like, is it going to bother me at some point?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t predict that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that I only become more accepting of myself as I grow older." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being in the public eye is weird, you know, because everybody is commenting about your appearance at all times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are obsessed with the way that celebrities look, the way that public figures look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wonder how being in the public eye will impact the way that I choose to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of me feels like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an act of rebellion and a cool one at that to be in the public eye, but to reject all of that and to say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, somebody s got to look like a fucking normal 50 year old woman for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then part of me is like, do I want to deal with the scrutiny that comes with that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I want to deal with the comments that come with that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I really being a hero by doing that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s something I m still thinking about a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s safe to say that I haven t come to any sort of conclusion when it comes to my own path, but it is something that I m thinking about a lot, and I am curious to see what I end up doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about it as though that it s not ultimately up to me, but I can t predict the way that I m going to feel, which is why I m not telling you today that I m going to go the all-natural route like I kind of want to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of saying that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t die on that hill right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too soon to say, but it s definitely what I m shooting for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would really like to go that route because I think it aligns with my morals more so than the other route and it seems freeing in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason why I say it aligns with my morals more is because I really try to let my" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "personality and my soul be my identity more than my appearance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not to say that my appearance is not a part of my identity because it absolutely is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the way that I present myself and you know, it s undeniably a part of my identity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot, it is a part of everyone s identity whether they like it or not, but I try to have my personality and my soul, you know, be" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the majority of my identity and I try to find my worth there and I also Believe in trying to accept oneself for exactly what they are and to appreciate the beauty of that but in a society where that is not happening it feels like You must be superhuman in a way to like reject that especially in the bubble that I m in the bubble of of entertainment" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that being said, we ll see, you know, like we ll see what I end up doing and what ends up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, my closing statement is I m just talking through my own personal experience and my own personal" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "morals and ethics and values when it comes to these things, but it s not in any way to be better than anyone else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m trying to figure out what it means to do the right thing for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doing the right thing for you has nothing to do with me and no way of living life is necessarily better than the other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going the natural route is not necessarily better morally than" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "going and getting cosmetic procedures done to prevent it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have to figure out what feels right for me, what feels morally right for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there is no morally right necessarily." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I want to make that clear because if you re like, well, fuck, I want to get a facelift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s wrong with that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s none of my business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get what I m saying here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, all I m saying is, is that, like, don t take this personally, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not... This has nothing to do with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would hope that it makes you think about what s right for you in a way that s helpful because I think that it s important to analyze these things before we make decisions, you know, and to weigh the pros and cons of all options and to weigh the risks of different methods of living." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that is very important and I would want to inspire that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t want to make anyone feel bad about, you know, maybe leaning towards the opposite route of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, there is no right and wrong in a broad sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just a right and wrong for oneself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a journey to figure that out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And only you can figure it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s what I m doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that s all I have to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully, you enjoyed this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video is exclusive on Spotify, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram, TikTok, all the platforms at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on all the platforms at Emma Chamberlain or Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go to chamberlaincoffee.com and go to the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you can just order online and it ll deliver to your door as it works when you order things online." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out and hearing me out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m very curious to hear what you have to say about the topic and where you stand on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So please let me know and I ll talk to you so soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And thank you for supporting me and listening to me talk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I have a birthday party mental block." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the last probably 10 years, I ve refused to throw myself a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this year was no different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just turned 23." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I made the decision that once again, I was not going to throw myself a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is kind of weird, because I actually enjoy birthday parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love going to other people s birthday parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love, like when it comes up on the calendar, I get excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when someone texts me and says, Hey, next week I m having a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m elated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "elated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love birthday parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my God, do I hate throwing one for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look inward and reflect on why I never throw a birthday party for myself, I think it s because number one, I fear that it would be an inconvenience in people s schedules." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which makes no sense because I get excited when somebody s birthday party comes up in the calendar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a burden to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some reason, I believe that if I were to throw a birthday party, it would be a burden to those who were invited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d be like, oh, come on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another one?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have time for this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have shit to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to go out tonight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to hang out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What an inconvenience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck Emma." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why did she have to throw a birthday party?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I have to go to this birthday party and it s a chore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s reason number one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reason number two, I think I m afraid of being disappointed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if I put a lot of money and time into planning a birthday party and everyone was busy and no one showed up, I would be very disappointed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, obviously I would have my closest friends and family there, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, if I m throwing a birthday party, I want the room to be packed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want it to be a fucking vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I always feel bad for people when they throw a birthday party or some sort of party and it ends up not being very fun and people sort of talk shit about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve seen that happen many times where, you know, a party didn t really turn out to be very fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sort of reflects on the person who threw the party, which is sort of unfair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because the fate of a party is in the universe s hands." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not in the hands of the person throwing the party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess in some ways it is, but." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The energy, who shows up, it s all unpredictable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s kind of sad when somebody s party doesn t work out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The third reason why is because it s a lot of work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll put in work for other people, but it s harder for me to put in work for myself unless I m super passionate about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not necessarily super passionate about throwing myself a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a lack of motivation there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number four, there s something inside of me that feels like throwing a birthday party for myself is too indulgent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, Emma, really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think that you re so important that you should have your own birthday party?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which again is stupid because when other people throw a birthday party for themselves, I m like, exactly as you should." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should have the most phenomenal, beautiful night of your life with all the people that you love and have the best time ever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "see birthday parties in such a negative light for other people at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me, I m like, you narcissistic pig." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to fucking throw a birthday party for yourself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a loser and you re a narcissist and you re toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What makes you think that you deserve a birthday party?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What makes you think that that many people care about you and will show up?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a loser." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just negative self-talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like a weird imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t feel like I deserve a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I ve earned a birthday party for some weird reason that I don t understand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how imposter syndrome is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like telling you in the back of your head that you don t deserve what you have or you don t deserve nice things even though you do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely still have imposter syndrome with my birthday for some reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "gotten rid of it in the work side of my life, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m working on it with the relationships, you know, feeling like an imposter in relationships, getting better at that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve not addressed my birthday party imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s still kind of there, I m realizing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, number five, I actually don t really like parties that much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I would way rather go on a trip or go out to dinner with five friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep it low key." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I kind of prefer that over going to a party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like parties that much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re so rarely fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for all of those reasons, I do not throw birthday parties for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I was laying in bed the other day, sort of thinking about what I would do if I were to throw a birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized that I have a lot of very strong opinions about what a good birthday party is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So today I ve prepared for you a full birthday party itinerary that will maybe come to fruition one day, not this year, but maybe will come to fruition one day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my ideal birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what I think the perfect birthday party would be for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have a lot of opinions about why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start out with the venue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Venue is very important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because it is the foundation for the vibe, for the energy of the party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what I don t want is to throw the party at my own house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be the worst night of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be so stressed out about whether or not my neighbors are upset with me because there s a lot of noise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be very concerned about whether or not my guests are rummaging through my things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be very stressed out about my cats and their well-being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where are my cats going to be during all of this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re definitely not going to be out during the party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody s going to leave a door open." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The cat s going to run out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My life will be ruined." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The music might be loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might be upset." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to hire a cleaning crew the next day to clean up my house probably because it will be so messy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Throwing a party at my own house sounds like a fucking nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that is out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing that I think is out is throwing a party at a massive venue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like renting out, I don t know, like a huge space." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like birthday parties being held at a huge space because a lot of times it ends up not feeling intimate enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s too much space to kind of do your own thing in the corner and so you don t end up mingling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s better to have a birthday party in a small, more intimate, homey space because people tend to bond and hang out and talk more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And speaking of that," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The venue must have reasonable volume." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to throw a birthday party at a club that s so fucking loud and dark that you can t talk to anyone or hang out with anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is no fun to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think that there should be a dance floor?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think dance floors are great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it common that you ll find me on the dance floor at a party?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m always sitting in the corner talking to somebody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think there should be a dance floor anyway?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, but not like a club vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the entire party is just a dance floor, it s a dead end." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get sick of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You dance for an hour." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless you re on drugs, you can only dance for a little bit, and then you have to sit down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it s so loud that you can t talk to anyone, then you re going to get bored when you re sitting and want to leave." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the vibe I believe in for my birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have two options that I can think of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, a house that s not yours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A rented house of some sort." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cozy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s intimate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some areas can be loud and have a dance floor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other areas can be more quiet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There can be an area to hang out in the backyard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a kitchen in there where people can go in and make drinks or, you know, maybe you could set up a bartender if you re really," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I guess if I m feeling crazy, this is my birthday party, that s a phenomenal vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or possibly some sort of vibey bar that isn t too loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a bar-restaurant vibe where you can sit, you can stand, you can be in a loud dance floor area, you can be in a quieter, more chill area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a bar area to hang out into." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not too big where everyone s all spread out and nobody s hanging out, but it s not so small that, you know, it s like cramped and uncomfortable and everybody s miserable and can t sit down and stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Perfect balance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ideally something too that has a cool aesthetic to it, like nice decor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My vibe is not a futuristic club with like neon dance floor, neon lights everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hypothetical birthday party needs to have nice decor that matches my aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So douchey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a hypothetical birthday party, though, so you can t say, Emma, you re so douchey for this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it didn t happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So leave me alone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let me have my fun, for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, moving on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about timing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When are people showing up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, let me tell you what I don t like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like when the party starts at 11 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By 1230, I m getting a little sleepy, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a little too late for mommy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mommy s getting old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing too late." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might be a hot take, but I love a darty, a day party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People show up at like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, 3 p.m., hang out, have some drinks, you know, maybe there s some activities going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll get into that later, but I kind of like an all-day party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "During the summer, in my backyard, I love to have a few friends over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in my backyard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start at like 2 or 3 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and we go into like 8." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then everybody has dinner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we all have dinner together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we separate for dinner, go out to a restaurant or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, everybody goes and does their own thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re in bed by 10." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get also more time to hang out, more time to party because you start early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels like a full day experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you end up bonding with everyone who s at the party because you spend so much time together and it s daylight and you can talk because it s during the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like at night it s when things get dark and loud, but during the day things are lighter and brighter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, like the daytime invites a less intense vibe, more conducive for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can still party, you know, you can still have drinks, you can still dance and stuff, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love a darty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So start at like 3 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or the other option is starting at like 7." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, recently I went to a birthday party that started at like 7 and I was like, wow, that s early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m shocked." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In L.A., you know, usually parties start at 9, 10, 11 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so seeing a party start at 7, I was like, this is fascinating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was also very delightful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you don t get the whole day experience, which I really do enjoy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you start at seven, people can come and go throughout the evening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same thing with the day party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People can come and go throughout the day, but I don t know when it starts early in the evening, people sort of trickle in over the course of the evening and you know, there s options to eat dinner there and all of these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s more of a well-rounded evening instead of showing up to the party at like 11 PM and half the people being exhausted and wanting to go home like 30 minutes after arriving." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, let s discuss activities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let me tell you what I don t like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two polar opposites, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like when the only activity is just getting drunk and dancing and clubbing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, that gets boring for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too loud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to sit and hang out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when the only activity is getting drunk and dancing, it s like, you re not even spending quality time with anyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not even going to remember it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it feels pointless to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like people end up leaving that environment sooner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if there s nothing to grasp on to socially, people just leave." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously there are some people who love to dance and get drunk and do that all night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s maybe 50% of party goers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people are like, God, I d love to just be able to sit and talk and hang out or do a less exhausting activity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t dance all night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "enjoyable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when that s the only activity, I think people just get discouraged and leave." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone, but a decent portion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then on the other hand, I don t want the activities to be overly planned either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not very fun when you show up to a party and there s strict rules on what s happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everyone has to sit in a circle and play this card game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or everyone needs to go outside and play beer pong right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or everybody needs to go grab a frisbee because we re playing frisbee, or everybody needs" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to get on the dance floor because we re all dancing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like things should not be overly organized." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There should be things around that are optional, but it should be low key, which leads us to the activities that I do enjoy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say I enjoy games." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, I think like drinking games are fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a little card game out like a drinking card game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beer pong, sorry, call me basic, that s fun to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually enjoy that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a way to make it classy and a way to make it cute, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can buy cuter cups to spice it up or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ping pong, fucking badminton, a tattoo artist, a piercing person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a fortune teller, a bouncy house, like I don t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having little optional activities around is kind of nice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even like arcade games could be fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, maybe a birthday party at an arcade could be fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love the arcade game where you throw the basketballs into the little hoop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s basically basketball." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking love that arcade game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there was just a room filled with those," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be the best birthday of my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, like stuff like that s fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a pool, maybe it s a pool party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just nice to have something to do, but it s nice to have it be optional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, let s discuss decorations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this might be a hot take." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love when everything is overly detailed, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate the art of it, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you Google birthday party decoration inspiration on Pinterest, you ll see what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People will throw birthday parties and make the most detailed decorations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything is on theme, every single napkin, every single" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "balloon, every single tablecloth is all perfectly matching and super on a theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that that s necessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so much work and so much effort, and I don t think it s worth it for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When someone else does it for their birthday party, I think that s gorgeous, but I, if I was throwing my own birthday party, would not spend the money on that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think it s necessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you can do subtle decor" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s chic and, you know, cheap and just keep it at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you could get a few really cool balloons and maybe put like a cute little sign on the door, call it a day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It costs so much money to decorate things in that Pinterest level of detail that I just wouldn t do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless it s a super intense, weird niche theme that s kind of funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if somebody threw me a Napoleon Dynamite themed birthday party or like a Coraline themed birthday party and every single plate was Coraline and every single... That s kind of funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I kind of love that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody were to surprise me with it, maybe I wouldn t do it myself, but that would be kind of iconic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like that would be kind of funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the food served at the Napoleon Dynamite birthday party was like tater tots, you know, it s like super on theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually kind of a good idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll do Napoleon Dynamite themed birthday party next year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe I do like super detailed decorations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I do, but only when it s kind of silly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if it s for aesthetic purposes, I don t need that, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can pass on that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s for funny, amusing purposes, yes, I can get behind that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next, let s discuss the guest list." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might be shocking to some of you, what I m about to say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of believe in an open door policy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t like when there s a party and plus ones are not allowed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, only you are invited." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot bring a friend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t bring anyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re only allowed to bring one friend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like that because, I don t know, it just complicates things socially." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say, for example, I invite one of my friends to my to my birthday party and I say, you re only allowed to bring one friend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they actually were planning to hang out with two friends that night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now there s an uncomfortable situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always respect somebody s rules when they re throwing a party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re like, don t bring anyone with you, I m like, done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not bringing anyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always respect other people s rules." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I totally get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone has their preference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I kind of like meeting new people when I m at a party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of the whole point for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even if it s my own birthday party, and it s kind of weird that people I don t really know that well are going to be there, I would prefer that over being super controlling over the guest list and not potentially unlocking fun new personalities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that is ultimately what I enjoy about a party is a mix of a bunch of different personalities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "parties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when it s the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when it s the most exciting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, there are times when a bad apple can come in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, if you re inviting people that you know and love, and they re bringing other people, if you like the person that you invited, chances are they re not going to invite anyone who s that horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of like the idea of being like, if you know someone who s coming, come on in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s make new friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s have fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do that again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do that during the summer in the backyard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just like have people over that I barely know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell my friends, hey, invite whoever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes I ll invite people over that I don t really know that well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s what makes it so fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what makes it feel all the more exciting is when, you know, you have a big mix of people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of the time, I prefer a small group over a super large group." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it comes to hanging out and doing stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do that already so much that if I m throwing a birthday party, I m gonna go big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bring whoever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If anyone misbehaves, they get kicked out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No problem, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, let s discuss the dress code." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you what I do not like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not like black tie fancy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t enjoy myself when I m in a really uncomfortable fancy outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I end up wanting to go home sooner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get tired sooner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would never put my guests through that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I love playing dress up?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I m throwing a birthday party, I want people to want to hang out all day, all night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t want to put people in fancy outfit and then now they re uncomfortable and their feet hurt and they want to go home early because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I even think about that with my wedding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I end up having a wedding one day, I kind of want it to be casual vibes so that people can just enjoy themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not so formal that everyone s just excited to go home because they don t want to stand in their heels anymore or in their" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dress shoes, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also don t like parties that feel like a hot competition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know when somebody s throwing a party and it s at a club or it s at a house, but the invite gives this vibe of like, oh no, we re dressing hot tonight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how to explain it, but you can tell on a party invite what the vibe is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if it s kind of a cool, edgy invite, you know, oh shit, we re dressing hot tonight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas if it s more of a fun, playful invite, then you re like, oh, I can be chill, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the hot competition for my own birthday party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like it sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of fun to almost dress to theme and wear your cute little tight pants or your cute little top or do a bitchy makeup look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a vibe sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t want that energy for my hypothetical birthday party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t want that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d rather people come really casual in clothes that they can wear all day or all night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People should want to feel cute, but it doesn t need to be a hot competition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could also be fun to do a pajama party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, that is kind of my dream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, that d be so fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pajama party would be really fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or super niche theme like, OK, we re doing a Napoleon Dynamite birthday party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody has to dress up as somebody from Napoleon Dynamite." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only thing I don t like about that is that that does create a task for the people attending that s kind of tedious, which is kind of not ideal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to, I don t know, create a chore for the people going to the party, but it could also be kind of funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think mega casual or pajama party is ideal for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, you know what would be so fun actually?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pajama party at like a bar because it s kind of opposites." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that could be fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being able to wear pajamas where you don t normally get to wear pajamas is possibly one of my favorite things in the entire world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to have a birthday party with that in mind, I mean, yeah, that s kind of my vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, let s talk about the bar slash drink situation, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say an open bar is critical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An open bar that s prepaid by me or by whoever s throwing the party, me, I guess," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really feel like I ve won the lottery every time I go to a party and there s an open bar and I don t have to pay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it sounds stupid because it s like, Emma, it s just, it s like, who cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like pay for your drink." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there is something so fun about being able to just go up to the bar and grab something in and out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to get your card out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s free." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you feel taken care of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fucking vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I were to throw a birthday party for myself, definitely open bar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought about it kind of being cool to have like a bunch of wines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like doing like a wine party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I very quickly realized, no, that s never fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody has such unique alcohol preferences and like what works with their body and what they enjoy the most." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people don t like alcohol at all, but for people who do drink alcohol, everyone has their own preference." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for the most part, I like a tequila soda with lime when I m drinking or a glass of wine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I go to a party and there s just beer, I m like, fuck, I don t drink beer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like the options are helpful so that everyone can participate if they want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s open bar and I think it s all types of liquor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if people misbehave, they get kicked out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s mommy s rule." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I already been through this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if anyone s abusing the open bar, they re out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s as easy as that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that leads me to my next one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I have a security guard or not?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that I can say, take this person out now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re causing a scene." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re causing a ruckus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get them out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m kidding that I did not write that down on my notes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, let s discuss food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought about this a lot, and it s clear to me what I don t like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like when it s all junk food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, like, yum, and there better be some fun foods, even if they, you know, are junk foods and give you a stomachache or whatever, for me specifically, give me a stomachache, whatever, that must be included." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, if it s all junk food," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s going to get a tummy ache." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s going to be sluggish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there has to be a good balance of options, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some fresh stuff, some fun stuff, like a mix of everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All junk food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s just going to have diarrhea and have a stomach ache." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s not good for morale." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, I don t love when there s a big table filled with food and it s just sitting there and kind of like rotting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for too long, that feels like a food safety issue to me every single time I see it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, every time I go to a party and there s just food that s been out on the table for literally eight hours and all of it is perishable, I m like, I feel like this is not safe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, the food gets gross really quickly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s certain foods that are totally fine, like leave chips out all day, who gives a fuck?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, leave fruit out, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s certain foods where it s fine, like snack foods, all good, but like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, like having like a bowl of pasta out feels like a food safety issue to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so I think the food should be made to order." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a food truck outside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s, I don t know, some sort of like restaurant involved in the party, whether they re catering or something and they re like managing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, I don t throw parties, so I don t know how this shit works, but having the food sort of made to order or have it be maintained by a third party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or just have there only be snacks out that can be out all day and nobody s worrying about food poisoning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I the only one that is very concerned about food poisoning?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, but my God, there s no good time to get food poisoning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m always avoiding it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think some foods that I would love to have at my birthday party would be definitely some sort of tater tot situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love tater tots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know earlier I mentioned my Napoleon Dynamite theme." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is actually, regardless of theme, I just love tater tots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tater tots are a good option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, I feel like Italian food is always a hit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to a birthday party a few months ago that had full Italian vibes going, like really good Caesar salad, really good spicy rigatoni, all the things, really good pizza." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a fried zucchini." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a balance of light and yummy, but also fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was balanced and well done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe that s the vibe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, like, a falafel truck could be so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, falafel wrap, hummus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That d be pretty good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always need hummus involved whenever I m having a party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every party needs a little fucking plate of hummus, goddammit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe that with every fiber of my being." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just necessary." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So consider that on the snack table." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is, I guess, a difference between the snack table and the main food, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The snack table is far less important, I would argue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The main food is what s really important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, honestly, a Mexican food truck would be kind of amazing as well, like burritos, tacos, customizable options, you know, people can get what they want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be really good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With a salsa bar, must have a salsa bar." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be iconic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be my favorite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s discuss gifts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really don t need any gifts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would make a no gift policy for my birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And number one, I don t need anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, I get very uncomfortable with gift giving and gift receiving, like the whole thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like it because I don t like receiving gifts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I get uncomfortable with it, I assume that other people are like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t like giving gifts because I don t like making other people uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s ridiculous because many people enjoy receiving gifts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, it s many people s love language." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to get over that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually like, I love giving people gifts, but I don t like being there when they receive it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I d rather mail people a gift and they can just react to it however they want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they can just shoot me a text and say, thank you for the gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they don t have to be like, I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, no, you don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s fine, but let s move on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So no gift policy for my birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, let s discuss cake flavor and design." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want something naughty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want something like a chocolate peanut butter cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want something like a classic funfetti vanilla with thick buttercream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I want something sweet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want something with absolutely no elegance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I think of an elegant cake, I think of like a lavender Earl Grey cake with beautiful cream cheese frosting or carrot cake with cream cheese frosting or like lemon cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually love lemon cake, but not on my birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh, oh, I would love it, but I d prefer fucking chocolate, peanut butter, brownie, chocolate chip cookie dough, like fucking pack that shit full with every goddamn dessert you can think of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I want that shit to be just sickly sweet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want funfetti." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s what I want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to feel like a little kid when I m eating my stupid birthday cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is the type of flavor I want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not want lavender, rosewater, fairy dust, birthday cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want sticky fingers, funfetti." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I fucking want for my birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will say I m a sucker for a funny cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A few years ago, my friends got me" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a huge cake that was shaped like a penis and it was funny because at the time I was the one in the group who had a boyfriend and it was like oh my god Emma loves like okay what you get the idea it was like I was the girl in the group who you know what I m saying and so it was funny at the time because it was like oh Emma loves wiener you know what I mean here s a wiener cake it was funny it was personal" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with the group." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought it was funny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I took a selfie with my penis cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad was in town." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He saw it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was mortified." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a nightmare, but it was funny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a funny cake, that s sort of like an inside joke." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, I do love just a beautifully made cake by a really passionate cake artist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many amazing cake artists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I am constantly watching their videos." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on Instagram Reels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though I m back on TikTok, I still don t watch TikTok." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only watch Reels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that could be really cool, like just letting a cake artist do their thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The one thing I don t like is when there s too much fondant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate fondant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it tastes horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think cake should, you know, I get you need to use fondant to decorate a cake, but it shouldn t have too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shouldn t be like the whole cake is fucking fondant and it should be always peeled off in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s my ideal birthday party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of all over the place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like it s a day party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a darty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like there s food trucks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like this birthday party is going to cost a lot of fucking money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hypothetical birthday party is like fucking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "20 grand ease no this is like insane like I feel like maybe this is why I haven t thrown a birthday party is because subconsciously I m like Emma you have two grand of ideas like cool down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost enjoy talking about birthday parties in a" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "pretentious, picky way more than I enjoy actually having one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love this discussion and I feel almost full." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to have a birthday party for another at least 10 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel satisfied." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, we re going to leave it at that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please let me know what your ideal birthday party looks like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can shoot a DM to at anything goes on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so curious if you disagree with me on some things, if you agree with me on some things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As always, please let me know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can listen anywhere you stream podcasts, but video is exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check me out at Emma Chamberlain on Instagram, Emma Chamberlain on YouTube, pretty much at Emma Chamberlain everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re probably in a store near you if you live in the United States." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com to see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "go pick up some fun or you can order Chamberlain coffee straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you all are having a beautiful day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re not, I hope that you have a beautiful day soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And thank you all for listening to me rant about a hypothetical birthday party that will not happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You learn nothing, but maybe it was good background noise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "while you folded laundry or something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I could ask for because some of my favorite content is background noise while I m folding my laundry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re all in this together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will talk to you so soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hello and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and I give my own professional advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today I have a very raspy voice because I ve been singing a lot in the car, etc, etc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve also been very dehydrated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t been drinking a lot of water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my voice is gone, but hopefully some of you think that it s sexy and charming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know for a fact there will be a few of you that will be annoyed, but this is just what you get with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lose my voice so much, it s unbelievable, and I can t tell if it s because I just talk and sing more than the average person, or if it s because there is ultimately something wrong with my throat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s neither here nor there, and that is something for me to worry about, and not for you to worry about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry, I will handle that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have enough going on in your own life, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is why we re doing an advice session because I m going to be giving you unprofessional advice on things that are going on in your lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you want to submit a current dilemma or a situation that you want advice on, at anythinggoes on Instagram, that is where we receive submissions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, without further ado, let s just get right into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I curated a list today of current dilemmas slash situations that you all want advice on that specifically relate to having a crush on someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this whole episode is about what the fuck to do when you have a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you, it s fun to have a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really distracting, which is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the best part about it is when you have a crush, it s almost like being drunk in the way that it distracts you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It consumes your mind in a way that is so potent and so all-consuming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that nothing else really seems to matter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it becomes your number one priority a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something kind of fun about that because it is an escape from your real life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, who gives a fuck about homework or work or drama with friends?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, I got a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only thing I m worrying about right now is this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they like me back?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was I weird when I flirted with them yesterday?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, having a crush is fun, but it s also kind of a nightmare because you re in this sort of purgatory where you don t know for sure if they like you back most of the time, and it s exciting, but it s also torture because you re trying to figure it out every day, and you re just fantasizing about what it would be like if you were together, and you re so close yet so far." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun, but it s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of things are like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like when you re in a party phase in your life and you re going out a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun and it s distracting, but it s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s ultimately a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, the last time I had a crush was a few months ago and I really found myself having a crush on the idea of this person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then as I got to know them more, I was like, this person is not good for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I dated this person, it would be an absolute catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was tough to shake because I was like, well, fuck, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know them that well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though I can tell that we wouldn t be super compatible personality wise, it s like, but what if we got to know each other?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they did become that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this whole thing and the only way I got rid of that crush was by finding someone new." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know if I would have shaken that crush as quickly if I hadn t found someone new who was ultimately way better for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like a better person to have a crush on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All that to say, there s something so challenging about shaking a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if you can tell that they re bad for you, even if you know that you ll never date them, it s like not up to you when you shake the crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like your subconscious mind has to choose to be done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why having a crush is so challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t just turn it on and off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love having a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I prefer dating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t like being in that crush phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like being in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like dating somebody that I will always have a crush on or I will have a crush on indefinitely, but feeling secure in that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like being in the gray area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like being in the purgatory of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of hate that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is fun, but it is a nightmare, and I prefer to be in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my ideal situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, enough about me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone said, how do I figure out if someone likes me back?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the past, I would have listed out various signs that you can spot that would show you or give you a hint about whether or not they like you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I would have said in the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, through some more life experience, I think my advice now is far less fun and far less exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s that you really can t assume." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we can find ourselves reading into the tiny little micro-behaviors of the person that we have a crush on, trying to figure them out like they re a solvable puzzle, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the truth of the matter is, everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s little micro-behaviors are different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what means one thing about one person doesn t mean the same thing about another person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, if the last person that you had a crush on who ended up liking you back used to text you all the time, then you might read into this new person that you have a crush on texting you all the time" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and think, well, that means that they probably like me, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or this feels like a sign that they like me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When, you know, this person that you have a crush on now could just be a really avid texter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just love texting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because you guys are friends, they text you a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example is, you know, maybe someone who s had a crush on you before has given you really good eye contact when you talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was a sign that they had a crush on you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you re talking to this new person who you have a crush on, they re giving you really good eye contact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might say to yourself, well, they must have a crush on me, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That must be a sign because of the last person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When in reality, it might just be that this person really prioritizes eye contact in a conversation with anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so impossible to figure out that my recommendation is to not even try to read between the lines, not to even try to figure them out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, you need to find out for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, like, this is just my opinion, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s so misleading to basically, like, come up with conspiracy theories about whether or not they like you back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now don t get me wrong, I m all about conspiracy theories, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that there s inherently anything wrong with being a little bit conspiratorial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s good to question things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s good to analyze things and read between the lines and try to figure things out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you can never come to a conclusion based on a conspiracy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a conspiracy about, I don t know, whether or not aliens are real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I don t think there s anything wrong with maybe putting together clues and trying to figure out if aliens are real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you can never come to a conclusion unless there s proof, unless there s evidence, unless someone says, here s the science, these are the aliens, they re right here, this is 100% certain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with when you have a crush." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, until you hear it from their mouth, not necessarily directly, maybe even through the grapevine, but until they say it, you just can t know for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you can never come to a conclusion based on things that are not factual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, evidence is different than facts, because evidence can sometimes not be accurate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like when they re solving a murder case." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might find fingerprints on some shit, but that doesn t necessarily mean that the person whose fingerprints were on the stuff did the murder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many more variables to factor in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t, you cannot come to a conclusion based on little pieces of evidence like that, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my piece of advice is if you re like overcome with desperation to figure out if this person likes you back," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to start asking around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you start by asking their friends like, hey, you know, let me confide in you a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a crush on your friend and I don t know how to handle it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know if I should ask them if they feel the same about me or if I should like start to get closer to them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have they ever said anything about me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do they like me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they might be like, uh, I don t know, like, I could ask and get back to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they might say, oh yeah, they definitely like you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they might say, I don t know, like, they re not really dating right now, like, eh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that s one way you could go about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another way you could go about it is you could become closer with this person that you have a crush on, platonically, in a friendly way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could become closer with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hopefully build a relationship where you have open communication, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that takes time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That takes patience, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then eventually you can be like, listen, I might like you a little more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make it a silly conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could be like, I don t know, this is so embarrassing, but maybe I have a crush on you, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s no big deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t feel the same way about me, I ll get over it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just let me know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do you think?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s another way of going about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But those are really the only ways to find out for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to find out for certain if you want to know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for certain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, obviously there are little signs that you can pay attention to in the meantime." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, does it seem like they want to spend time with you a lot?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did they ever get a little flirty with you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you catch them looking at you when you re talking in like a group of friends?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they like staring at you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they seem a little nervous around you sometimes?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do they get kind of embarrassed sometimes around you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, there are all these signs that are not nothing, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you kind of have to communicate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Such an annoying piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you just kind of have to ask." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s annoying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody, oh my God, wait, listen to this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My little kitty is very happy to be hanging out today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody said, how do I know when to give up on a crush?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the fucking worst." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, this is the actual worst thing ever because, as I mentioned earlier, it s like you can t just turn off a crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are times when we must give up on a crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only am I gonna tell you how to know when it s time to give up on a crush, in my opinion, but I m also gonna give you some advice on how because that s a whole other beast, figuring out how to give up on the crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, there s a few ways to come to the conclusion that you need to let this crush go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, you find out for certain that they don t like you back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, to look at it in a glass half full way, they might like you one day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there have been times when I ve not had a crush on somebody and then randomly one day I wake up and I have a crush on them and vice versa." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There have been" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "times when I ve liked somebody so much and they ve not liked me back and then all of a sudden one day they like me back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually happened to me with two boys in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One in high school and actually my first boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first boyfriend did not like me back at first which was fine and we remained friends and then eventually one day they liked me back and I was like what the fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was great but also what the fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a chance that that could happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to let it go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know for sure that they don t like you back, that is an obvious reason to let it go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not obvious because a lot of times we think to ourselves, well, they might come around and they might like us back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could still be true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And chances are, if they do end up liking you down the line, your feelings for them could resurge very easily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know that right now they don t like you back, you gotta let it go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you find that out for certain, you gotta let it go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, if you start to develop feelings for this person, and they start to develop feelings for you, but you start to figure out through this process of you both having a crush on each other, that you re not very compatible with this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ll give you an example with" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, this person I had a crush on a few months ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing ever happened with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We never, like, we were just friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know if they knew I had a crush on them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it was whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to realize that they, like, I was very attracted to them physically, for one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which was kind of blinding for me like I just I couldn t they were so gorgeous to me that I like everything that they said and everything that they did to me was perfect because they were hot you know what I mean I was like this is the most gorgeous person I ve ever seen like I cannot fathom this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then in the beginning of my crush made me completely aloof to what their personality was like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then over time I started to realize we don t really have a lot to talk about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t really have a lot in common." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only do we not have a lot in common, but also this person isn t a big talker, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am such a talker and I kind of need to date someone who also likes talking, who can keep up with my excitement about discussing things and analyzing things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person was not like that, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re just not a talker." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the stuff that they did talk about was not inherently interesting to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be times when you date people who have interests that don t match up with yours, and it s up to you to find interest in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it seemed to be like a reoccurring theme where it was like, we re not really having interesting conversation, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not saying that this person is boring or that they can t have an interesting conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have different interests than me and I have different interests than them and we don t have interesting riveting conversation together just because of the nature of who we both are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They probably thought I was boring as fuck too just because we don t like the same things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also last but not least I think that we were both really shy people when it comes to like dating like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it was ever going to happen, one of us needed to be like the leading force in the situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like to date somebody who kind of takes charge in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in general, I just like someone who takes charge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I could tell that that was not what this person was looking for." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person was also looking for somebody who would take charge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I could do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just didn t want to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if this person liked me back or not, but it didn t really matter because I knew deep down, even though I thought that they were the most gorgeous person I d ever laid my eyes on, I knew deep down that this is not somebody I should date." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t line up with me in that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s another way to come to the conclusion that you should not have a crush on this person is if you get to know them better and you realize this is not a good partner for me, like I m better off waiting" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and finding someone better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that s a very hard conclusion to come to, especially if you re like really physically attracted to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s important because who you date and who you surround yourself with really impacts your well-being more than you can even imagine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why it is important to come to that conclusion as quickly as you can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when it comes to letting it go, okay, you have to be patient with yourself because as I ve mentioned now two times prior, you cannot just turn off a crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t just turn it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to enter into this journey of letting the crush go with forgiveness and patience with yourself, understanding that it s going to take some time and the feelings are not just going to go away overnight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s going to be this period of time where you know that you need to end this crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It needs to be over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to forget about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the crush is still very much there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s going to be a decently long period of time where that s the case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t always doable, depending on who your crush is, if they re in your friend group or whatever, but it can be really nice to distance yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, you can t always do that if they re in your friend group." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t alienate yourself from your friend group because you have a crush on somebody in the group and you need space from them, but try to create as much space as you can between you and that person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hang out with them the least amount possible, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be tough if this is a friend" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or somebody that you still really like, it can be painful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can almost feel like a breakup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s helpful in the same way no contact is helpful when you break up with somebody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Out of sight, out of mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s far easier to get over someone if they re not around you all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So try to get them out of your area as much as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if that s not possible, then it just takes patience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might never fully get over them, but you have to sort of accept the fact that you have this crush and accept the fact that it might never fully go away, but that you can t have this right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can hope that maybe one day they ll change their mind and they might like you back, but you can t rely on that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you just sort of have to find acceptance" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And more often than not, the longer you sit with this weird acceptance, but also sort of grief of the fact that you can t be with them," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The longer you sit with that, the more the feeling just goes away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eventually the crush will go away, at least to a point where it s no longer painful anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be in there a little bit, but it becomes very manageable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing you can do is try to find someone else to have a crush on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I tend to do when I have a crush on somebody and it s just like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mmm, I gotta let this one go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll try to find somebody new to have a crush on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll get excited about that prospect, like, who s next?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, okay, it wasn t this person, but who s next?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I let that be sort of a fun distraction from this other crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe during that phase of trying to find a new crush, you distract yourself by being a little bit more social." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go and be social." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go and try new things where there s new people around who you could potentially have a crush on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s nothing wrong with seeking out a new crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, I have liked my friend for two years, but keep getting into other relationships to distract" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "distract myself?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think for one, you have to sort of break this cycle of using other relationships as a distraction from your ultimate dream, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At times, we can put ourselves into subpar situations to sort of hold us over until we can make our dream come true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But unfortunately, that s just not how the universe works." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in another relationship, the door is not open then for what you want to come in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this goes beyond this specific situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, in general, if you re somebody who just can t be alone, and there s nothing, like you re not a bad person if you are, if you re like that, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s better to not be like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s better to work towards finding comfort being alone as well, but there s nothing wrong with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a very normal part of being a human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us fear being alone, but you can find yourself in shitty relationships because you d rather be in something shitty than be alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now the problem with that is, whenever you re in a relationship, energetically, like not to get spiritual with it, but I swear, it feels like energetically, nothing new and better and improved can come in unless you re completely single, free, independent, open." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in another relationship, the universe and whatever powers that be will not give you a replacement like you want it to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why, but I just feel like it feels spiritual almost how the universe just does not want to give you that when you re in another relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have absolutely experienced this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been like, oh, maybe I ll just stay in this for a little longer and see if something else comes my way that s better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t happen a lot, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What tends to happen is the second that you let that person go and you re single again and you re free and you re finding your independence and you re happy without anyone else, not even happy, and you re fulfilled being alone for the time being," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when the universe gives you something new." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I swear it happens to me without fail every single time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the first step." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to be single for this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair to you or the people that you re dating to be in the relationship just to avoid pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re avoiding the pain that comes with having a crush on your friend and being too afraid to ruin the friendship to have a conversation about it and to really figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Any relationship built on a foundation of running away from something is not good and not healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s not fair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair to you and it s not fair to the other person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually even more unfair for the other person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I would say for now, you need to be single." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s step one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two, you gotta have the conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been two years" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re starting to fall into sort of self-sabotaging behavior." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re getting yourself into shitty relationships, which is not benefiting your quality of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you re better off going to your friend, having a conversation about it, and potentially even ruining the friendship for a period of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re better off doing that than you are continuing the way that you are now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For your own well-being and quality of life, you have to communicate at this point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you just need to have the conversation and be like, listen, I don t want this to be weird, but I do kind of wish we could date." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how fun would it be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to or no?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you can make it silly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make it lighthearted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also important to give them an out so that they feel like they can say, no, I don t have feelings for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in that way, and they don t feel like you re going to be mad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you are able to execute that type of conversation, you might end up disappointed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might not get the result that you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at least you know then what you re working with, because it s impossible to make a choice, a positive choice," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to help you move forward if you don t know if they like you back or not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t make a decision." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at least having this conversation will let you know so you can act accordingly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they like you, then it s like, okay, well, this is amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you can date, whatever, blah, blah, blah, happily ever after." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they don t like you, then now you know, okay, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to let this one go and I need to start taking the steps to let this go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to start seeking out new people who maybe I could develop crushes on, who will like me back, who I can date in a way that s genuine and authentic, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, how to make a hookup casual without catching feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in shambles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so my advice for this is like weirdly goes against my morals, but it s like the only way I ve been able to do it is as follows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you hook up with someone who you don t like that much, you will not catch feelings for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the reason why this is challenging is because a lot of times you don t want to hook up with somebody that you don t like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like we want to hook up with people who we like a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at times you can find this perfect middle ground where it s someone who you maybe find physically attractive, or you maybe think that they re funny or something, but there s enough about them that you don t like that it s safe, you won t catch feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s enough also about them that you do like so that it s not repulsive for you to hook up with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason why this is against my morals is because I just feel like there s something gross about being like, yeah, I don t like this person that much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to hook up with them because they might like you a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that feels gross to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it is fine to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have done that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, like every random hookup that I ve had that s not led to me dating the person has been a hookup that I made a tactful choice about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I will never want to date this person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they re hot enough to me in one way or another that I could do this once or twice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s my honest advice, is you just have to choose someone who you don t like, which is a little bit less fun, I ll be honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the other thing to consider is what type of person are you, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s use me for example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a relationship girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being in relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s my favorite way of dating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like some people love being single and they love just hooking up with everybody and they don t have a problem catching feelings and that s what makes them happy okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like to be in open relationships like everybody s so different so you need to figure out what you are in the dating world, who you are in the dating world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll use me again as an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to catch feelings pretty vividly" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can get my heart broken pretty easily if things don t go the way that I wanted them to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get sad because I like being attached to boys." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like being attached to them, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not somebody who has a guard around their heart and can pick and choose when they re super close with somebody and when they, you know, have really deep feelings for somebody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m prone to relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So with that being said," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t just like casually hook up with someone I have a crush on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if they don t like me back, it will absolutely destroy my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t hook up with somebody that I m really, really into." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I just met someone and I m like, damn, they kind of seem perfect so far, you know, I try not to hook up with that person because I need to know that they like me back and that we like each other before I can hook up with them because I will get destroyed otherwise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the only types of people that I can casually hook up with somewhat successfully is people that I don t really like that much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that I will never like them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can tell." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, maybe they re kind of cringe to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe their style is just not your style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they re not that riveting to talk to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know that there s something about them that is never going to work for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that comes at a cost too, because when you hook up with someone like that, sometimes you can feel a little icky about it after." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I have many times where I m like, I went into this for the wrong reasons, but also because I don t like them very much, the experience kind of felt icky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it kind of felt gross." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need somebody touching me like that who I don t really, really like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that can sometimes feel icky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, it s kind of a catch-22." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just might not be somebody who can naturally hook up with people and compartmentalize your feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, some people can just do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all too serious to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I put having sex with people on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means something to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "think it s a very hard thing to navigate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just might not be the type of person who can do it in a way that is positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just, I can t do it in a way that has a net positive in my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might be the same way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s about figuring out who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to casually hook up with people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve come to the conclusion now that I m probably never gonna have a one night stand again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m saying that in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not just saying that because of what, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what situation I m in or not in right now, it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, no matter what situation I m in in the future, I don t think I ll ever do that again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it doesn t fucking work with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I take sex too seriously to be able to almost do it casually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too deep for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too vulnerable for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with looking at sex in a sacred way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s also nothing wrong with looking at it in a casual way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just how you view it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no like, you know, moral right and wrong in how you view sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you are somebody who sees it as something more sacred, which is why you tend to save it for people that you really like, which ends up making it not casual at all and you end up catching feelings, or you end up feeling icky if you have sex with people that you don t really like because you re like, what the hell?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just did something that I feel is sacred with somebody who is not sacred to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That feels icky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re somebody who s like that, you just might not be able to have casual sex with people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then there are some people who see sex as casual, who don t take it as seriously, who maybe are more sexual by nature." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can hook up with whoever, like that s a different, I can t even give advice about that mindset because I don t know anything about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s another type of person, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just easier for that type of person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a feeling that if you re asking me this question, you re not that type of person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that type of person doesn t need advice on this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s nothing wrong with experimenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t let me discourage you from experimenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re like, fuck, I really do want to figure out a way to hook up with people casually, experiment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try hooking up with somebody that you don t really like, who, like, you still think is cool, and you re still attracted to them, but who you know you d never want to date." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if it works for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See what positives and negatives come with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand being in shambles about it, though, because, my God, have I been there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last thing I m going to say about it, too, is that there is sort of this societal pressure to have casual sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it s funny because it wasn t that way, you know, 50 years ago." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like casual sex was not as accepted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even more bizarrely, it was like ashamed of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas now, at least in Gen Z, it s like cool and hot to be very sexual, actively sexual, actively having sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, casual hookups as much as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we live in the in the era of hookup culture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it is praised to be very sexually active with many different partners and to be exploratory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think there s anything" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "inherently wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, there are some people like me who do not thrive in that environment, who do not thrive in that lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me miserable and it makes me feel icky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not because I m old fashioned and it s not because I m... No, it s because to me, sex is a sacred thing that I only like to have with some people who I really, really, really, really, really, really like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s when sex is the most fun for me as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sex is not fun for me when it s with a random person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel weirded out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m too nervous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like I m gonna fucking... Am I gonna have an orgasm?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they gonna be able to figure that out?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, it s pointless for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, we re not in a rhythm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really like you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I doing this with you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, ew." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just gives me the ick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives me the ick, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s okay to feel that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us who are similar to me feel bad or weird or shameful about the fact that we can t have casual sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s nothing wrong with waiting for a partner who you have more trust with, who you have a deeper bond with, who you have more of a commitment to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can almost guarantee you that for the remainder of my life, I probably will not hook up with random people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t see it ever happening again for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I ve learned my lesson enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, last but not least, somebody said, how to flirt dot dot dot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best flirter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I don t have the most insane game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to be very platonic with people I have a crush on, to a fault." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to be very reliant on the other person making a move on me, and then I ll, you know, slowly but surely arrive, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will arrive eventually, but I tend to let the boys, you know, I tend to let them take over for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really need to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s okay, you guys can do it for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be the one to grab my hand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be the one to give me a little side hug randomly at a random time or something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be the one to compliment my outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to do it first." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not going to do it first." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I ve flirted before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that I have not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just that I tend to rely on the other person to do it, which is lazy of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the biggest mistake that we make in flirting is to take advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually my advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t listen to anyone else s advice about flirting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Flirting is something that has to be natural." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be authentic to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s not, and when you re taking advice from somebody else, it feels forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels inauthentic and it s not as effective." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s all about experimenting and figuring out what works for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, some people," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They like to do a little hand touch or like a little arm touch when they re talking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing that gets in the way of somebody else s privacy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not like a, it s just like a little tap, you know, like little contact." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s completely reasonable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like doing that and that s what comes naturally to them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like to be complimentary of the other person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s what comes naturally for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like to sort of make fun of the other person in a way that s harmless, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be the way that you do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like to have really good eye contact." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people like to, I don t know, there s so many different ways to do it and there s really no wrong way to do it unless you re obviously doing something that makes the other person feel uncomfortable, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s always better to err on the side of caution and be more conservative with your flirting because you want to make sure that the other person doesn t feel uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But other than that, there s no wrong way to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, the best way to do it is to do it in your way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, don t listen to what anyone else says." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If someone says, oh yeah, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always use this one line on people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, you know, hey, your hand looks warm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I could get you a cold drink for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you like me to buy you a drink?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the worst." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just came up with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just came up with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you ever use that, you will never..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "8 years of bad luck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t ever say that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody gives you some advice like that, don t follow it because it s not going to work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to find your own way with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to just be intuitive with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My biggest piece of advice is if you can find a way to calm down," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and to settle into your own body again when you re around somebody who you re interested in, that will naturally allow you to flirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We tend to focus on like, how do we flirt?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we flirt?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When what we should really be focusing on is how can we be as comfortable and as ourselves as possible when we re around somebody we re interested in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re focusing on the wrong thing because naturally if you can find a way to take this person off the pedestal and be comfortable around them, the flirting will just come." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what we forget about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re too focused on how to flirt and less focused on how do we just be ourselves around this person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say that s my advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish you all luck on your journey with your crushes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s double-edged sword, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun, but it s a nightmare, but it s exhilarating and distracting, but it s torturous and painful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just one of those things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, tune in Thursdays and Sundays, new episodes twice a week anywhere that you stream podcasts, although video is exclusive to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out Anything Goes on Instagram and Anything Goes on TikTok at" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anything goes, you can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain on YouTube, Emma Chamberlain on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really know, my username is changing like every 30 minutes right now, but I m back on TikTok, which is super weird, but find me on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that I m back on there, check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find us online, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find a store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com and see if we re in a store near you, or just order us online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s even easier." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all, and I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you in a few days, and I just love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll admit it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just love fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ah, sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll admit it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love fashion, but I wouldn t consider myself a fashion nerd in the sense that I m not super educated on the history of fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love the technical side of fashion, for example, like how to balance the colors of an outfit or" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "even the intricacies of how things are constructed or the intricacies of how different fabrics work and how they lay on the body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I love fashion in a very current way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I love going to fashion shows and watching new collections come down the runway in real time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love fashion right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love fashion" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in the current moment, but I just don t know a lot about fashion history." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that this is important for me as a fashion lover, because history plays a huge role in fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, when you re interested in fashion, you re naturally, whether you want to be or not, kind of interested in history, because the two are heavily tied together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve been wearing clothes for a very long time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s why I m excited to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sort of develop my knowledge about fashion history, which is why I m so excited to be speaking to our guest today, Richard Thompson Ford." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He is a Stanford law professor, Bay Area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Palo Alto represent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not from Palo Alto, but I am from the Bay Area, so, you know, I feel close to him in that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve never met him, but I think we re gonna love each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He is a fashion history expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He also has expertise in many other, many other categories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But today I m gonna be talking to him specifically about fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Specifically, Richard has dug deep into fashion as a system of power, how the written and unwritten rules of fashion have evolved and still influence what we wear today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s written several books, the most recent one being Dress Codes, How the Laws of Fashion Made History." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m so excited to learn more about fashion today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Beyond just, like, when did they create the corsets and why are they so snatched?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s more than... We re gonna dig a little deeper than that today and really" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "really become fashion nerds together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe you don t want that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So come along for the journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I will welcome in now, Richard Thompson Ford." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re gonna have a fashion day, you know, because you have so many things that you do so many amazing things that you do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so curious about the fashion piece of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think a lot of people look at fashion as something that is, you know, sort of materialistic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, when you hear the word fashion, what comes to mind?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, it s materialistic, it s, you know, it s capitalism, it s this, it s that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, you know, there s so much more to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What initially drew you to fashion and what particular piece of fashion was the most interesting to you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what drew me to fashion initially was being a kid growing up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up in a town called Fresno and yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have family in Fresno." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, is that right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up in Fresno and I went to a high school, which was great in many ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was one of a very few African-American kids there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right away," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fashion and clothing was a way to kind of navigate the social scene." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a way to set myself off, a way to, you know, exert some personality that wasn t just my race." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I found that really useful and powerful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it got me interested in fashion trends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a preppy phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a punk rock phase, you know, I mean, all the stuff that kids go through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So so it initially" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The interest sort of started with how you could use it to sort of create, like manipulate identity in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, it s like you can go in and your clothes can speak for you in some ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so it started there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then how did it sort of evolve to today?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sort of fill in the blanks from that initial moment of like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is, you know, maybe in a way, sort of an art form or a way to speak." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What then made it such a focus, I guess, in your career?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, a couple of things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One s personal and one s professional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My father was also a stylish person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He had great clothes and a great sense of style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I wish I could have worn some of his clothes, but we were not the same size because he had some great stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He studied as a tailor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a professional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a university professor and administrator." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he actually studied as a tailor at a historically black college at a time when they insisted that the students learn a trade as well as a profession in case they needed something to fall back on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he always talked about clothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the thing I saw as a kid was" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He used clothing as a way to navigate his surroundings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was one of the only black people at the Cal State University Fresno where he worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I noticed that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way clothing mattered for him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was fun and he liked it just as style, but it also had this very serious side." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was powerful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Professional side is I teach a variety of classes in law, including employment discrimination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are a lot of lawsuits around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People suing their employers for a dress code that, for instance, requires them to wear something they don t want to wear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So dress codes that require women to wear makeup or tease their hair or wear high-heeled shoes can be challenged as sex discrimination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dress codes that forbid head coverings might be challenged as discrimination on the basis of religion, if your religion requires a head covering." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of lawsuits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the way the courts dealt with those lawsuits never struck me as satisfying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I teach these cases to my students and any student who was remotely interested in fashion kind of thought, well, that s not what was really at stake in this case." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what the court s talking about isn t" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really what I think was going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the students were right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so over time, I thought it would be great to dig into this and get a better sense for why people are suing, why employers want to have these risk codes that goes beyond what the typical legal analysis was, you know, talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you have an example of like one of those sort of lawsuits?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what about it was not satisfying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like maybe give an example or like dig into that a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a lot of the cases, there s a moment where the court says, of course, fashion is trivial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a couple of cases where they actually say just overtly, of course, this is trivial and not worth the attention of the courts, except for the fact that it coincides with discrimination on the basis of race or religion or a freedom of expression claim." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the presumption that fashion was trivial in and of itself always rubbed me the wrong way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, you know, you re not going to get a good analysis if you begin with the proposition that what everyone cares about is trivial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that struck me as wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s one case in particular." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh, there was a case involving an African American woman who had, uh," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "locks and the employer had a dress code against unprofessional hairstyles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it said that hairstyle is unprofessional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to change your hairstyle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the way the courts typically would analyze that would be to say, well, is the hairstyle part of her race?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s part of her race, then maybe she has a legal claim." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it s not part of a race, then it s just a workplace rule and you ve got to change your haircut." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what they left out was all the ways that that hairstyle might be important to her that weren t directly about race, might have been indirectly about it, but also the way it would be, they didn t care about the fact that it would be impossible for her to change her hairstyle and put it back because of the nature of that hairstyle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t think about the fact that what they were really talking about wasn t" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just you have to show up for work with a different hairstyle But you ve got to change your hairstyle permanently because that hairstyle can t be switched back and forth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep Just kind of went right over the head of the court And so there are a lot of cases involving things like that where they just seem to not get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess That is sort of part of the problem is this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of misunderstanding of what fashion and I guess identity as a whole really is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think, I guess, and this can even just be a personal opinion," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How important is it that we protect our, you know, our fashion choices, our choices with our hair, our choices with our makeup?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How important is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And is there any moment when we should be like, okay, I guess, I guess I have to change it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, what sort of, there is no manual for life, but what is sort of your ideal" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the mantra?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not against all dress codes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think there are times when the dress code is perfectly reasonable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s necessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People should just comply with the dress code." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that what people don t get, it s what you re getting at with why is it important to the individual and why is it not trivial?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you need to navigate the world and maybe it s assert authority, maybe it s assert competence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, the way you come across matters, how you feel in your own skin matters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think people who don t understand that are usually people who" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "almost always feel comfortable because the norms and the rules are set up for them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they ve never confronted a situation where someone says, you know, something that is kind of central to your identity is banned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a lot of the, in the book, I try to talk about examples, a lot of them involve women, where the dress code is really working against their ability to do their job or to be successful at something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to wear this outfit," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that outfit s going to make it psychologically or symbolically really hard to accomplish what you want to accomplish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So your clothing s working against you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s a problem that only certain people face in certain circumstances." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the history of women s fashion, because I think it s so fascinating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s so much, I think we all just think of the corset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we just, and you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes my stylist still puts me in a corset and it s fashion and we hate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every time I put one on, I m like, how in the world did women wear this every day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m grumpy when I m in a corset for like a photo shoot or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Little women s fashion history, what are the key points?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I guess the key point I d begin with is that there s a moment in history where men s and women s fashions, or a couple moments actually, where they diverge in really important ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So one of them is in the late Middle Ages or early Renaissance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s a moment when fashion starts to really take off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tailoring becomes a big deal throughout Europe and it s happening for men." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for a long period in history, all of the innovative fashions, the newest fashions, the sexiest fashions, they re for men, not women." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the men get all this tailored clothing, they get leggings, they can show their legs in public." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, and the women are still in draped clothing, which used to be what everyone wore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s an important moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And up until about the 1700s, women s fashion is following trailing men s fashion and they re getting little pieces of what the boys got, but not everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the one big one is the women always have to be draped below the waist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, pants are forbidden and a woman wearing pants could be subject to arrest in the middle ages." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In the Renaissance, they had a crime in England called misrule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a woman wearing pants would be liable for sexual misrule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was assumed that wearing pants meant that she was also engaged in other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "morally objectionable behavior just for wearing pants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this was a big deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s a big part of masculine privilege to be able to wear this fashion and an insertion of masculine power." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are always expected to tread this tightrope between being decorative and therefore attractive to heterosexual men, but also not too attractive or not too sexy or not too wanton and alluring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so this is just a consistent theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So being draped below the waist is important because it signals your sexual propriety or chastity" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but at the same time, you re supposed to be alluring, and so all these things are going on above the waist to make the women sexier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s real weird push-pull there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s the one important moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A second one happens in the late 1700s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a moment that some historians describe as the great masculine renunciation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the great masculine renunciation is when men start to become unfashionable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They start to reject fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So men used to wear, you know, brocade, jewels, makeup, you know, high ranking, very macho men are wearing makeup, eyelash curler, blush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "powdered wigs, the whole works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yet it s normal masculine fashion for elite men." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometime in the mid to late 1700s, men throughout Europe, it starts in England and it kind of spreads, start to renounce all of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you get the kind of precursor to the modern suit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s streamlined, it s sober, it s dark colors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it s a really important symbolic thing because political ideals are changing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so rather than societies based on aristocratic privilege, you re getting the enlightenment and the norm of industriousness, sobriety, rationality, that s important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the clothing s starting to match that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I m practical, I m sober, I don t care about fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is probably familiar, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the typical masculine ideal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, I don t care about fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then suddenly women are the fashionable ones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the women have the ruffles and the brocade and the jewels and all the rest of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re still in one sense kind of trailing behind in the sense that the modernized fashion is now this masculine fashion that s redescribed as not fashion at all, but just being well-dressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the women are frivolous and fashionable and silly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You mentioned that, you know, at one point, if a woman was wearing pants, she could go to jail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When did, like, I feel like now, we can wear, I mean, in America, we can kind of wear whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s really no laws." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, yeah, you might have dress codes at school, but I feel like now, it s, it is so vastly different, it s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have so much freedom now, we can wear anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m curious about how we got from such extreme to such extreme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is amazing, happy to be here now, but there must be a lot that happened in between there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, so several things happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we go back to the late Middle Ages and the Renaissance, there were all kinds of laws about what people could wear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "some historians call them sumptuary laws and they had to do with who could wear fine, elaborate clothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was regulated according to social rank." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you had to be of a particular aristocratic status in order to wear certain things so that people would know on site what part of society you belonged in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, then those kinds of sumptuary laws start to go by the wayside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, by the 1700s, there s not much of that left, but you still have laws about public indecency." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so those kind of pick up as the strong legal prohibitions where the women wearing pants, you know, all the way up through the early 20th century would be considered indecently dressed and therefore subject to arrest for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "even though there are no comprehensive dress codes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those kind of laws continue until either the 60s and 70s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in the 1970s, you start to get a lot of pushback against that based on changing norms about personal expression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "changing gender norms, just a lot of interesting cases involving people who were, what they called back then, cross-dressing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So wearing clothing not pertaining to their gender." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they would challenge those laws as a violation of the right to freedom of expression and as vague, what counts as male and female gender in terms of clothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t understand what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those cases started to break down enforcement of public indecency laws." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at this point," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re pretty rarely enforced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re still on the books." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there are still cases where these laws are enforced, you know, sagging pants, kind of that hip hop style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s some cities that are still enforcing bans against those as either public indecency because, you know, you re showing your undergarments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They passed new ordinances banning that kind of fashion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re still out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, you know, you re right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For the most part, we re kind of past that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think about, for example, you know, that rule against sagging pants?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that one specifically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just dig into that for one second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that showing, say, undergarments is wrong?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I mean, a few things about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that when that started, it was new and shocking and new uses of fashion are often met with moral disapproval." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Always, you know, so, oh my God, she s wearing her underwear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, you know, there was a time in which a T-shirt would be considered underwear and scandalous to wear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Certainly this was racially targeted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s really no doubt that the targeting of the sagging pants in particular was about young African-American men who were also considered to be a social threat in other ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s why that was targeted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there are a lot of problems with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "1000% with those kinds of laws." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It must be a very challenging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "battle to fight when there are, say, these sort of dress codes that are targeted, but maybe they re, they re not blatantly targeted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a sneaky way of targeting because it s not, it s not blatant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are certain things that I think are blatant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, like, you know, there are certain hairstyles that say, you know, are, are traditional to, you know, whereas" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "say sagging pants, it s like, that might be a trend within a community, but it s like, it s something that maybe everyone, it s challenging to navigate when it s not something that s obvious on paper." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what s so challenging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s like, yeah, but anyone can sag their pants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess it s like, how has that been fought?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When some of these sagging pants bands and the criticism and, you know, during the 1990s, 1980s and 1990s, the criticism was ferocious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, everyone for a while was talking about sagging pants, politicians, you know, running for president, all kinds of people talking about sagging pants, like there weren t more important issues to deal with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, um, it was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And people of all races, by the way, which gets to your point about it being challenging to confront this because you d have a lot of black people saying, yeah, those sagging pants, they re terrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got to do something about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then how can you say it s racist?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think over time, often what happens is a new style becomes mainstream because it s seen often enough in enough different contexts that people begin to get comfortable with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you first have the sagging pants, the immediate association of most people is these are black" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "gangsters who are also up to no good in a lot of other ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this just is the symbol of all those bad things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then over time, people get more comfortable with, for instance, hip hop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hip hop goes mainstream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The style starts to spread." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get athletes wearing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get people of different races wearing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And after a while, everyone starts to understand that this is just another style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not a symbol of a social menace." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think people have to get used to seeing it in a lot of different places." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s really hard to fight that idea when it first appears that, you know, oh my God, this is actually something that s quite threatening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many different sort of dress codes for different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s dress codes for work, and then there s dress codes for school, and then for going out to a party, and then for hanging out with friends, and then even pajamas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are so many different sort of mini little dress codes that are peppered into our day-to-day life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you foresee sort of different informal dress codes changing in the future?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, and in what ways do you, would you predict?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, that s tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s impossible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the easy part is I definitely, there will be informal dress codes in the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have no doubt about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do not think we will live to see the day when it really doesn t matter what you re wearing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think people will care about it and there will be lots of informal expectations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and they will be informally but powerfully enforced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now what exactly that s going to look like is trickier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I mean, one thing you could kind of begin to parse the symbolism of certain types of clothing by looking at norms in the past and how things have evolved." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for instance, the, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "this kind of a jacket is called the sport jacket because it used to be worn for sports." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there s a pretty consistent historical trend over hundreds of years of clothing that was once sporting clothing, later becoming business attire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we still see that today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that like investment bankers who used to have a suit and tie dress code until very, very recently," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now there s no dress code in most of these banks, but they ve all gravitated towards something called the Midtown uniform." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know if there s an Instagram page." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know if you ve seen it, but you know, it s a Patagonia fleece and a button down collars." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They all wear exactly the same thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re everywhere in Palo Alto." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That uniform is everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no dress code, but they re all wearing exactly the same thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is interesting how humans just," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We like to feel like a part of a community." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that the, you know, the whole Patagonia vest and that whole uniform is, it s no more like effective than a North Face vest, but it is, that is," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The uniform, it s interesting that you say that you never can imagine, like you don t think there ll ever be a time where it doesn t matter what we re wearing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that tells me that it s because it holds more value than I think we think it does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Historically, what is like the through line?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is it so powerful?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just shouldn t be that big of a deal when you really break it down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you re just staying warm, covering up your, like, why does it matter so much?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it matters because clothing, at least since this moment that I described as the birth of fashion, when tailoring really takes off, it becomes a way in one sense to transform the human body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this was really clear in the, let s say in Tudor era England, when Queen Elizabeth I would wear these magnificent gowns and they were architectural." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They had shoulders that were sculpted and skirts that were" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, built out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of the fashion in that period of time for both men and women had these characteristics if you were in the elite." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And people commented that she looked otherworldly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She looked superhuman." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that power of fashion, I think, has never gone away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then fashion allows us to immediately" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "make associations with other periods of history, other people, other groups." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can communicate an enormous amount in a split second by what you re wearing, including communicating things that you wouldn t want to say out loud." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So fashion lets you do all of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s why it s extremely powerful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as long as we are embodied flesh and blood human beings, you know, until we can upload our consciousness into the cloud or something, that s gonna matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s so true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think it s important for people to pay attention to fashion?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you think it s sort of, like, do you think it s optional?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s not optional when we speak of fashion in the broadest sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when we re talking about, do you care what you re wearing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think that s optional." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think people who say that they don t care are, um, not self-aware or not being honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people will." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "be upset at me for saying that, but I don t I don t buy it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that they may dress to look as if they don t care about fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is that is also a choice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s a great point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For example, like Mark Zuckerberg wears a great T-shirt, you know, really famous example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People would say, you know, come on, fashion doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Look, you know, the CEO of a billion dollar multi-billion dollar corporation just wears a great t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when you hear what he says about why he said something like this, it s not a direct quote, but I wear this great t-shirt because if I wasted my time thinking about trivial things like fashion, I wouldn t have time to do my job to be the best CEO of Facebook." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I would devote all my time to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So what s the great t-shirt now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it a matter of indifference?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, it s a symbol of the work ethic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so if you re not wearing a great t-shirt, if you look like you care about fashion, that suggests you re wasting your time on trivial things when you should be working." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And people actually said that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when she was then the CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Got a Vogue fashion spread." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, she s a fashionable young woman." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Of course she s going to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s lots of fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People in Silicon Valley said, look at her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She looks like she s going to a party or on vacation while everyone else is working." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So people do care, you know, and there s just another, it s like an inverted dress code at this point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you look like you care, now that s a problem." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what would you say to people who get really, like, I m remembering even like Miley Cyrus, for example, when she came out and all of a sudden she s like, you know, wearing really revealing clothes and like, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody was up in arms, like as though she killed their family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your thoughts on that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People get really just angry about what other people wear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, why do you think that is?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And number two, is that healthy or no?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s no, but I wanna hear you elaborate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s often unhealthy and I would say I think it s, sometimes it s inevitable and sometimes people dress in order to provoke a response and then it s not surprising that they" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "are successful in doing that, but I think that often it s unhealthy, particularly when it s directed at women." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m gonna come back to this point about the way women are forced into catch-22s around their attire constantly and criticized no matter what they do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I think a lot of women" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "when they dress in a way that might be considered provocative, are trying in an odd way to take control of the gender norms around clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, that they ve lived their lives being" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "pushed and pulled in these directions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Either you re too frumpy or you re too sexy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your outfit s boring or it s slutty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s back and forth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they re just like, I m just gonna wear something where there s just no argument about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And call me what you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that it works?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a hard one, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it can work for some women if they are ready for the reactions, but I do think that often it doesn t work because you don t opt out of the judgment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, that s- It s also not for you at the end of the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still not for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I think that that s what s so unfortunate about is that it s like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like, you know, you can t win, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s like, if you, you re like, you know what, this is like an, I wanna empower myself, so I m gonna go ahead and do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then, that doesn t do it either." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like, I think, ultimately, to set yourself free, and maybe it s not this simple, but I m curious to hear your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, maybe to set yourself free," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you have to do something that s just completely a reflection of your personality, whatever that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it can t, not any extreme necessarily, but it must just be the truest representation of you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like if somebody s dressing as an act of rebellion, but then they re like, oh, this doesn t even feel like me, then it doesn t work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like the biggest act of rebellion is to dress however what is the most truly" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You maybe?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it s so, I hear what you re saying about how- It s like there s nowhere to win." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right, that you re reacting, so if you re reacting to something that you re not in control, you re now in a responsive posture to some other thing, patriarchy, whatever, the male gaze, all of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I do think people are often buffeted back and forth by that kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I would" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "love it if there were a way for people to dress only for themselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I have to say, I m skeptical that that s possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think- I agree." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I completely agree." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think one is always dressing for other people and to communicate something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And maybe the only- True." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To the extent it s a solution, solution is to recognize that and decide what you want to say, decide what you want to communicate with your clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now that doesn t solve, that doesn t help women out of the catch 22." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think that s a matter, honestly, of political activism." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, that s a case where there needs to be sustained" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "pushback against unfair gender expectations around clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you, what do you think about sort of the way that we re consuming fashion today compared to how we used to consume fashion, you know, a few hundred years ago?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s definitely different because it used to be like what you d buy" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a new pair of shoes every five years?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, who knows?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how is the way that we consume clothes different back then versus today?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think it s obvious, but I m curious the sort of details of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For a long period of time, any" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "fashionable clothing was custom made and therefore very expensive and only available to the elite or people with lots of money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you get mass produced clothing in the 1800s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The Brooks Brothers suit is one of the first examples of mass produced clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So now you re not going to the tailor and having something made." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can buy it in a catalog." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s cheaper." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Europeans commented on the way Americans were also well-dressed because this was the first country where you had this mass-produced cheap clothing everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Everyone s wearing a nice waistcoat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So one person said a mob in the United States is a mob in silk waistcoats." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "because the rabble can afford this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Shoes were still really expensive, so you mentioned shoes, and that s where the term well-heeled comes from, because you know you re rich if you ve got nice shoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Those weren t easily mass-produced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so our real disposable attitude toward clothing, I think is pretty recent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that disposable attitude for everybody, as opposed to just the," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "very, very wealthy, fashionable set who would have a new, you know, follow the new spring fashions and what have you, but it s a tiny sliver of the population." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, almost everybody can do that if they go to some fast fashion store where they re copying the high fashion clothing at a very low price point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, as to how I feel about it, there s a lot of waste involved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not great for the environment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In fact, the fashion industry is one of the larger contributors to environmental pollution and degradation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the labor practices used in some of this cheap clothing are appalling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there s an argument that it would be better" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Both in terms of social justice and in terms of environmental health if we had a different attitude toward fashion where we kept things longer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I m so about that right now where I m like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Buy one really good thing instead of five really shitty things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go in like, you know, and make it a part of your uniform in a way and like, you know, have fun with accessorizing and like do other things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, because I was such a consumer, you know, I was like, I love fashion, I need to have" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "everything this is the cheaper option like in high school I was ordering fast fashion stuff all the time I you know then eventually I found thrift shopping and I was like this is actually more fun and then because thrifting was not cool when I was little and then now going to the thrift store is like cool isn t that wild yeah it was not that way when I was a kid I actually do think it s kind of cool though that now" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It almost feels like fashion is less about, it s about having a cool outfit, period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are less concerned about what brand is this, what brand is that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is more about, at least with Gen Z, like I don t know, it s more about like just wearing a cool outfit because thrifting is cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like a weapon now to be like, I thrifted this, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s interesting to see that it s becoming almost in some ways" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more of something to brag about when you got something for a deal and it s cool and I still look cooler than you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s the flex now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe that s just a smaller, because I still do think that the big designer brands and all these, you know, expensive sorts of things still have societal impact." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe we re going in a direction where it s lessening a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s lessening a little bit because there s a lot of fake designer that looks pretty real." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, how is anyone to know it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that designer things have less of a sort of importance now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think this is something that the big fashion brands are really worried about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, uh, and they re spending a lot of money on lawyers to stop these fakes from circulating." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how that s going to work out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, but they re, they are worried about it and it s interesting that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of the fakes are so, some of them are so good they re indistinguishable from the real thing, even if you take it apart." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some of them are made in the same factories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it actually is identical." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just that the factory ran off some extra ones after they made the things for the brands." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s an issue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I still think the fashion brands have got a lot of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "cultural cloud." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s interesting how they navigate that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m thinking of Gucci and their collaboration with Dapper Dan." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you remember?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So Dapper Dan during the 80s and 90s was the hip hop tailor up in Harlem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who made clothing for, you know, artists like Eric B. and Rakim and Salt-N-Pepa." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were, he used fake Gucci and fake Louis Vuitton fabrics to make these jackets and suits and clothing and these really cool stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they sued him." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, of course they did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They sued him for trademark infringement and they put him out of business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now he s collaborating with Gucci." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, it s kind of come back full circle in this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they re trying to figure out, you know, now they realize this stuff was cooler than most of the stuff that we put out officially." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we want to be associated with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s always been true that part of the status of fashion has been about the expense." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of it has been about savoir faire." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, what do you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you know what to wear when?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what s appropriate?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Back in the day, it was all about the appropriateness of clothing so that you would know that someone was from the wrong social class if she wore diamonds to a garden party because a truly elegant woman would never wear diamonds except to the theater or at night and she d know to wear something else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there was this kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think your thrifting example, to go back to that, it s still got a little element of that without all the class snobbery" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "where what s cool is to know how to put together a cool outfit, not just to have enough money to go and buy out the Gucci boutique." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like that s what I do love about sort of that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "section of like fashion right now is it is more about do you know how to put something together that s cool and feels different because it s so saturated and everyone s wearing the same thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost more about having something that no one else has." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "than it is about, at least in some corners of the fashion world, but yeah, it s more about that than it is about having the hottest new, you know, designer bag, because it s like, anyone can get that, whereas not just anyone can find, like, this random Betsy Johnson pair of heels from 1996." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you just, like, only you have those, and that s almost a currency of its own." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is sort of your wish for the world when it comes to our human relationship to fashion?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where would you like to see it change and evolve?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what does that look like?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can also be like, I know that this needs to change." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how, but just anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The answer can be whatever you want the answer to be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m just curious what a bright future looks like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in your eyes?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d love to see a world where people can dress in the way that empowers them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And an understanding that you ve got to navigate and it s a social" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, fashion is a relationship with other people, so it s not all about the individual, but where dress codes and expectations and norms around fashion that are designed to produce hierarchies, that are designed to reinforce class snobbery, that are designed to" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "put women on that Catch-22 treadmill are, those are gone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s left is a landscape in which people can use clothing in order to express themselves, their connections with other people in a variety of ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to say any way they see fit, because that s not realistic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that there are a variety of ways where people can find" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a way to be comfortable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm hmm." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And and I ll throw in, you know, sustainability." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So maybe better clothing, but less of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ops took the words out of my mouth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I learned so much today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I learned so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was really awesome." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,812
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little sniffly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this happens to me every time I go to a big event." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not even sick, but my body is just broken down in a way that vaguely resembles an illness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, so I m not like fully ill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a fever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a slight headache, a sniffly nose, a sore throat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m half sick." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just got back from New York." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last night at one in the morning, I was in New York for the Met Gala, and now I m back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was a fucking phenomenal experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was my fourth Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was truly incredible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just kind of a dream come true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved my outfit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have the most phenomenal team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got to spend a lot of time with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just a beautiful, beautiful weekend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the way that it looks online, too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you look at the Met Gala through the lens of the Internet and it looks like this dreamy experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, all these people dressed up in beautiful outfits, walking the carpet and going in to the event that is somewhat unknown, but assumed to be delightful, which it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The event as a whole is truly a special experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As with all things, there s also a chaotic side to it, and that s what I want to talk about today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Met Gala looks gorgeous and is gorgeous, but somebody s got to be honest and talk about the shit that happens during Met Gala week that s chaotic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every year, I have a different slew of issues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two years ago, I had a tonsil stone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was it two years ago?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think it was two years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two years ago, I had a tonsil stone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was very self-conscious that my breath reeked of tonsil stone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what that smells like, to be honest, I don t know how to describe it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels like something s rotting in your throat, and it tastes like shit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s sort of inconclusive whether or not people around you can smell it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if you have a really big, severe tonsil stone, people can smell it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not that big, it s not that severe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People can t smell it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Regardless, it s very stressful, especially when you re doing red carpet interviews and talking to a lot of celebrities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, yeah, I don t really want my breath to stink." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a chaotic moment for me a few years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One year, I tried on my look for the first time the day before the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually, I at least get a fitting a few weeks before, so I m sort of familiar with what I m wearing and I m confident in how it fits, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One year, I tried it on the day before, and we were making tweaks the day before, and there was almost no time to make revisions or edits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was chaotic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every year, there are different chaotic moments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are two examples from prior years, but this year had its own slew of chaotic moments, and I am gonna go through them for you, and we re gonna discuss them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with losing my voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Losing my voice, okay, two days before the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kid you not, I fully lost my voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I lose my voice a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for an unknown reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be genetic, just how my throat is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have undiagnosed nodes in my throat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look that up if you don t know what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like these little growths on your throat that can form if you overuse your vocal cords, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be a wrong description, but it s something like somewhat like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why I lose my voice so much, but I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to my friend Derek s birthday party two nights before the mat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this party was in a very loud room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there were a lot of people that I knew." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was doing a lot of chatting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re chatting in a loud room, you re not really chatting, you re screaming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for like two hours, I was screaming at this birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was delightful in the moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I knew while I was screaming that it was not going to be good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt my voice going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I was on to something because I got home that night and I realized, yeah, my voice is gone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I drank some water, went to bed and crossed my fingers that I d wake up in the morning and it would be better because sometimes that s the case." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I woke up in the morning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My voice was even worse than it was the night before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At this point, I have like 32 hours until the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not feeling so good about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I start ordering ginger tea with honey and lemon every few hours and hoping for the best." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By that evening, my voice was back, but it was still a little gravelly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was still a little scratchy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went to bed that night, woke up the next morning, and thank God it s back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew deep down that the universe was going to have my back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, there s no way the universe would do this to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s just no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been taking good care of my throat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please, universe above, give me my voice back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got it back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so afraid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I do the interviews, and that consists of approximately four hours of talking with no breaks, pretty much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very short breaks in between." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I m talking to people as they arrive on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a little loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little chaotic on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m talking a bit louder than usual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to talk a bit louder than usual so that the person that I m interviewing can hear me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it is critical to do that job with a voice, a voice that projects at that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so thankfully, I got my voice back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, say what you want about simple remedies when it comes to, you know, certain physical elements." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But fuck, ginger tea with lemon and honey, it expedited the process of getting my voice back because I m very familiar with losing my voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I normally don t really do anything to remedy it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just kind of let it come back naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my God, it worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, did I drink like nine of them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So crisis averted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was a close call." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I was breaking out the whole week before the mat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just unhappy skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My skin has not been happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I know why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not 100% sure, but I think I know why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went like three days without doing any skincare a few weeks back and my skin was so happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my skin clearly appreciated the break." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It cleared up so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looked so good and so healthy and so happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in that moment I thought to myself, wait a minute, maybe my skin doesn t want any product right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it doesn t want moisturizer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it doesn t want toner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it doesn t want oil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it wants nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me give my skin a break because it s reacting so well to nothing right now that I m going to just keep this going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went like a week and a half without using any products, nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would maybe lightly moisturize if my skin felt dry, but that was about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t using any other products." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so that quickly ended up making my skin very unhappy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My skin was very dehydrated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started breaking out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started developing clogged pores again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I realized, okay, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t working." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t working." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The timing was a little off for me because once I realized it wasn t working and I tried to pivot and start using skincare regularly again," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a week before the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is obviously a very photographed event." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I always try to get my skin in the happiest, healthiest place I can get it to, just because that tends to look better with makeup on top of it on a red carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My skin was not in its healthiest, happiest place by any means." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was actually very angry at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And unfortunately, that did not go away in time for the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I actually had" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quite a few zits going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, my skin just kind of looked dehydrated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we remedied it pretty well for the carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My makeup artist is amazing and, you know, did her magic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that was definitely kind of chaotic and stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a little bit bummed out about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, next, let s talk about my really long nails." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for this Met Gala and for most Met Galas, I get really long nails put on, like really long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like having somewhat long nails, but not this long, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are so long that you can t do shit anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t type on your phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t wipe your ass." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re that long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the sake of my well-being, I decided to get my long nails applied the day of the Met, like two hours before I leave for the event, in hopes that I wouldn t really have much to do once the nails were applied." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like I wouldn t have to poop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t have to go on my phone very much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because on the day of the Met, it s like, I sit in glam and get my hair and makeup done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I go to the carpet and I do the interviews." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those things I can do easily with nails." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s doing work on the phone or on the computer that s challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to the bathroom or showering that s challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was like, well, if I get them a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "applied while I m getting my hair and makeup done the day of the Met, then I won t have to struggle with these nails as much and I can just remove them that night once the event is over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, lucky for me, I got the nails applied and immediately after they were applied, my body decided that I had to poop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, really bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I tell my whole team, I m like, you guys, I don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have to shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My nails are so long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there were multiple people on my team who were like, I will help you wipe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that just proves how great my team is, like how much they take care of me and how much we love each other is that they were like, I will wipe for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I have a lot of moms on my team." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were like, Emma, we ll wipe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no, we can t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t let you do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck, I m almost 23." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "May 22nd, mark your calendar, my birthday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mommy s birthday, May 22nd." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, that is actually, that s too far." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but also like what should I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what s the recommendation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, totally too much information, but the method ended up being to wad up so much toilet paper that I didn t really have to apply that much pressure with my hand directly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I could kind of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, if you use enough toilet paper, you can wipe in a way where you re not applying as much pressure and it s very efficient." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, you didn t wanna know that, but that was horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next chaotic thing that happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After I finished getting ready for the Met, I had a few photo shoots I had to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of them was for Lancome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were gonna do a little quick photo shoot with some of the makeup products that we used in the makeup look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, one of the photos that they wanted me to get was a photo of me applying mascara." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, normally, that wouldn t be a big deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, the most efficient way to shoot it was to have me apply the mascara without looking in a mirror." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they needed to set up lighting and have their cameras out and all this, so there wasn t really room for me to have a mirror, and they didn t really want the mirror in the frame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What made the most sense was for me to just use spatial awareness to try to apply the mascara without looking into any mirror or anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this normally wouldn t be a big deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, yeah, we could do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could apply mascara without looking into a mirror." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And worst case scenario, we fuck up and we just wipe it off and whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a higher pressure situation because my makeup is done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My makeup artist had just spent, what, two and a half hours on my makeup?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I get a smudge of mascara on my face, that could put us behind 30 minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the day of the Met, it is like minute to minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much to do in such a short amount of time that everybody s just trying to get shit done as quickly as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like anything that goes wrong could throw off the whole schedule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a very strict arrival time, especially for me, because I do the interviews and I need to be on the carpet early so that I can start interviewing people as they show up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the thought of me getting mascara on my face when I already have my makeup look done was gut-wrenching for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was freaked the fuck out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, again, by some miracle, I did not touch my face with the mascara." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was worried, and I was fully touching my eyelash with the mascara wand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t like I was miming it in front of my face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fully, for a lot of the shots, had the mascara touching my eyelashes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was frightening, but I was careful enough somehow that it didn t end up touching my face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, fast forward to the red carpet, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing about many red carpet looks, especially very fashion-forward events, is that a lot of the looks are very challenging to manage, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, you might have seen, if you kept up with the Met Gala this year, Tyla, for example, her outfit was absolutely incredible, but it was so stiff that she couldn t move her knees enough to walk up the stairs" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on the carpet, so they had to lift her in between each stair, like the people working at the Mecala had to carry her up the stairs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or with my dress, to lead us to my chaotic moment, with my dress, it had this beautiful long train behind it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in order for the train to photograph properly, we have to readjust the train every step I take to make sure that it looks perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So every single step that I took on the carpet, the train had to be moved and perfected to make sure that it photographed properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, my train was nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like some people have these insane trains that require five people to carry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mine was nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only needed one person to help me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even that was a lot to manage and was very stressful, but it was worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I unfortunately did not drink water all day the day of the Met Gala and by the time I was on the carpet doing the interviews, I had a full fucking migraine and I get really bad migraines." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t drink any water because I didn t want to have to go pee on the carpet because I can t really step away and go to the bathroom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s kind of no time to do that because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much happening very fast that there s no, yeah, there s just no time to go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, if I told the team at Vogue, hey, I have to go to the bathroom, they d be like, no problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t want to leave because I don t want to miss something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not like anyone s holding me there captive, but it s like, I don t want to miss the action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to miss a moment that could end up being incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like me putting pressure myself not to go to the bathroom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, I didn t drink any water all day, barely any, and it caught up to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m, you know, an hour into doing interviews and my head starts pounding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I drink some water, I have some Tylenol, but my God, it did not go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say for like 75% of those interviews, I had a pounding headache." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was having such a great time that I was able to sort of compartmentalize my discomfort from what I was doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that was definitely a huge bummer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little bit chaotic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Speaking of pain, also during the interviews, because I m standing there for like four hours talking to everybody as they come in, or whoever wants to talk to me as they come in, my feet start to hurt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I thought ahead this year and I asked Jean-Paul Gaultier to make me a short little kitten heel so that I could change out of my high heels into my little kitten heels that are more comfortable so that it d be a little bit more comfortable when I m standing on my feet for like four hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that worked out pretty good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in the kitten heels for, I d say, the first 75% of the interviews." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the last hour, I was like, no, I can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be in any shoe anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to take my shoes off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was so mortified because I was like, I m getting too old for this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first started doing interviews, I was 19, I think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I remember I took my shoes off and I changed into these like slides that did not match my outfit just so that I could be in a flat shoe and I was standing on a little apple box like a little wooden box so that I looked a bit taller and that was cute when I was 19 but then when I was like 20 it was like okay this is starting to get a little less cute but like it s still kind of cute and also I remember that year like my dress was so long you couldn t even see my feet so me not wearing shoes was kind of not noticeable" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my third year, I changed into loafers, which were comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was classy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I never took those off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kept those on the whole night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was very respectable of me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I knew I had to keep my shoes on that year because I was like, OK, I m getting a little too old for this now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now at 22, year number four, it s like, girl, you got to keep the shoes on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re a professional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I could not keep them on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My feet hurt so bad and my back hurts so bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I am taking these off and I m standing on a box with no shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wasn t proud of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t proud of it, but I had to do it for just a few minutes just to give my feet a rest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And nobody judged me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was actually amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody judged me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I remember I was standing on the box and all of a sudden Cardi B walks up in her big, big, big, big, big, big, massive, massive dress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This dress, she said it weighed more than her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This dress was huge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It required, I think, seven people to help her carry it in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it had this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "insane train it was massive like it was so huge okay this imagine that this huge heavy dress around cardi b and cardi b is just this like tiny cute little thing in the middle of it okay very dramatic very drama whatever i interview her while she s in this dress okay about to walk the carpet her dress was so big that in order to interview her i had to step off my little box and like step" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "off to the side and reach over her dress with my microphone and try to get it close to her mouth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was wild." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the best part was when she was walking away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her dress is so huge and heavy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "part of her dress was dragging on the ground and that part of her dress that was dragging on the ground somehow like absorbed my apple box that I was standing on that wooden box that I was standing on and it just got pulled away dragged away in her dress somewhere like that is how big her dress was that literally this fucking entire box got lost in her dress" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they eventually like found the box, like kicked off to the side somewhere, like one of the people working at the Met found the box and like kicked it off to the side because it like fell out from the dress at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was wild." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could not believe it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next, when I got back to the hotel after the event, it was time to go out to after parties and I made the mistake of briefly taking off my look, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At this point, I was wearing a shorter version of the dress that I wore on the red carpet because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the last two years, I ve had two different looks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One look that I wear on the red carpet and then one look that I wear that s a bit more comfortable, a bit more casual, a bit more understated for the interview portion of my evening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So usually the second outfit that I change into is much more comfortable and that was absolutely the case here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, comfortable for me is like everything s really loose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s really soft." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I like things to be absurdly comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like to a point where it s not cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s like so loose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love loose clothes so much and I love loose clothes more every year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what I packed for my trip to New York was loose jeans, loose trousers, like loose, everything loose, loose, loose, loose, loose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love loose clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I m the most comfortable in, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, this second dress was gorgeous and somewhat comfortable, but it s not that comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, it s a corset dress, and these tight tights and tight gloves, it looks gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all things considered, it s very comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in Emma, standard, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comfortable for me is like really loose baggy jeans and like a baggy t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s comfortable for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not have bravery when it comes to uncomfortable clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I get back to the hotel room after the event ends, I m still a bit hungry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I decide, you know what, I m going to take my look off, get into a robe and eat a snack before I got to after parties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, once I took it off, I was like, oh wow, I really don t want to put it back on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I told Jared like a month ago that I didn t need a more comfortable look for the after parties because I loved the little mini dress version of the actual Met Gala dress so much that I would just wear that out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I lied because, well I didn t lie because in the moment I thought it was going to be true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I spoke incorrectly because I ended up wanting a more comfortable outfit so bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I told Jared, please can I just change into one of my cozy outfits?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like, Emma, no, we can t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was like, okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I changed back into the uncomfortable look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, it s not even that uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I shouldn t even describe it as the uncomfortable look, but for me, in the moment, I was like, oh my God, I m so exhausted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been on my feet for so many hours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be in my cozy, squishy clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was worth it because I love that look so much, the little mini dress, and it was so cute that, I don t know, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The mini dress version was worth me wanting to be in my PJs, but not being able to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was worth it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what was interesting?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it came to the after parties this year, I was overwhelmed because there were so many that I didn t know which one to go to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there were probably 10 parties, 10 after parties, all over New York." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone is sort of asking around like, hey, which one are you going to?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, which one are you going to?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everyone was like, I don t know because there s 10 of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like nobody could decide which one they wanted to go to because there were 10 great options." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was like, okay, I don t really know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which one s the best?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t even know how to narrow it down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then nobody ended up communicating very well about which one was the one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it was very hard to figure out where to find everybody that was just at the Met." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s kind of what s fun about the after parties is like, oh, we were all hanging out at the Met." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we get to hang out some more at the after parties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there were so many that everybody was separated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was kind of sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, nobody could find each other because there were too many." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was kind of funny to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, what a weird problem to have that there are too many after parties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I actually think there is such a thing because if there s 10 of them and nobody can agree on which one s the best, then chances are you re not going to see your friends" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "out or not even your friends you d see your friends out because you re in contact you re on text but people that you only see once a year at the Met you re not going to probably meet up with them or find them because you might not have their number etc etc but that s like the fun part about the after parties is like oh I m going to see all these people that I only see once a year but then when there s 10 and nobody knows which one to go to and no one s" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "making one big group chat with everyone who s at the Met." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just, it s impossible to figure out who s going where and where the majority of the people are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s sad, because not everyone can hang out in that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, yeah, it was kind of a bummer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s kind of a funny tidbit about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really didn t go out much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to, I would say, two and a half parties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to one that was great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I went to two that were great and one that was really bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was down to keep going, but then, I don t know, it was like 3.30 and I was like, I m not going to accomplish much more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think I ve done it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I need to go take a shower and go to bed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But actually on the way home from the last after party," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was actually not super drunk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had only had like two drinks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was feeling very normal and honestly sober." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just sort of started to take my outfit off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At that point, I was so tired and I just wanted to get into bed as quickly as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, let me just expedite the process by starting to remove my outfit in the car." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I took my gloves off, put them in my bag." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started chewing my nails off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the car which was very disturbing for the people who were with me they absolutely hated watching it but i was like gnawing my nails off uh so that was really disturbing and then i don t know i was just slowly but surely like taking everything off because i assumed that there weren t really going to be any cameras outside of the hotel" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I was wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I did have to put my hands into fists to hide the fact that I had ripped my nails off just in case a photo was taken of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t seen this photo surface, so maybe I got away with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also can t be sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of all of my chaotic Met Gala moments of this year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I truly had a phenomenal time, though, and it s always such an honor to be allowed back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just so mind-blown every year that they have me back to do the interviews, to walk the carpet, and to eat the dinner with everybody, and watch the performance with everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is such an honor for me, and every single year, I m even more grateful than the last." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "yeah it was just it was such a phenomenal year and I had great people around me and I don t know it was just it was delightful um and thank you to all of you who said kind words about my interviews that I did with Vogue or my look that I made with Jean-Paul Gaultier and Cartier and Jared my stylist" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you to all of you who sent me any sort of love about that look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was this sort of, you know, baby that we all put our love and heart into." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it just means so much to me and to them that some of you resonated with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I really appreciate that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, that s all I have for this week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Clearly I need to go to bed or something because my nose has gotten like progressively more clogged throughout this episode." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like I am becoming sick now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think in the beginning of this episode, I was not sick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then by the end of it, I m now ill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I need to handle that and I will, but I love you all and I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I hope that you enjoyed the last few episodes about the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you haven t tuned into those, feel free to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stream anywhere that you get podcasts, although video episodes are exclusive to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out Anything Goes Instagram at anythinggoes, my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re probably in a store near you if you live in the United States." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can check the store locator, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is on there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if you don t want to go in store, you can order Chamberlain Coffee straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, my" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your voice sounds horrible and nasally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just disgusting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry you had to deal with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope you love me anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me set the scene for you right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, not for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, you re here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, so we re we re two days out from the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re sitting on the couch in the hotel room and there s no blankets." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re using a robe as a blanket over our little laps." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m here with Jared, who is my stylist and my best friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, I m not your, you re not my best friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Speak for yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you re my best friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you can t, I mean, now you have to say that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who else is my best friend?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, Drew." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you feeling?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m feeling great on this couch, loving this hotel room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is a great hotel room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Generally, I feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it s a crazy weekend leading up to it, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel calm this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, that s what I was going to ask." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel calm this year?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel calm this year because I feel like we re quite locked in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Normally, maybe we re jumping into this too quick, but normally every other year we re doing first fittings this weekend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First fittings happen sometimes the weekend of, and we have had much more time this year, so I feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you feel?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I feel so good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s true that we have had this super extended Met experience this year because literally right after the Met last year, you re like, okay, so I m thinking about Met next year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, Jared, what if they don t even invite me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re like, it s okay, we ll have a dress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll give it to someone else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we did our first fitting like fucking two months ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are so prepared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I ve been hearing stories about people doing their first fitting tomorrow, Sunday, before the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we re just chill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s normal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of people do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re being kind of weird about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We take it really seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We take it too seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s cringe and weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s embarrassing, for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t tell anyone about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, but you also have four other people that you re styling at the same time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This year there are multiple people, which is different too, usually I ve had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you or one other person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now there s some more people, so we just have to get everybody ready to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m managing it well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, everybody is like, they re all lovely people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s a diva, no one s difficult." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s very kind, so everyone s trusting and everyone feels good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel good this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so weird to talk about The Met now and then have this episode come out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like a time capsule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This episode s gonna come out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "after the Met?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is nice to be able to talk openly about it because you even like who you re wearing and what it s like because it s so sneaky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What year is this for you and me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Four." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Four feels like a good number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have had chaotic years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s been like the most chaotic?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m trying to remember." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, the most chaotic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe the first one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First one, I would say it was chaotic just because neither of us knew what was going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Year one was really stressful because it was just all so new, but it was also exciting and weirdly less intimidating because we didn t know- How big it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s almost like you know it s a big deal in fashion and whatever, but until you go and do it, you don t realize why everyone- For sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Takes it so seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s just because it s so visible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, extreme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, also, you re having to do so much more mental work than anybody else going because you have to look amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that was your first red carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Genuinely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if there was a red carpet before the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I never did a red carpet without you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You, your first red carpet was the Met Gala then." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is so, how did I, well it was also like, I didn t know how to pose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like didn t know what I was doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It worked though." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was totally fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean there were definitely some awkward poses happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t think you had any awkward poses that year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we like practice though." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but you did very well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was kind of an awkward dress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It had this side tail situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it was hard to manage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in theory, it was a simple look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first year, it was just my natural hair blown out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Pretty simple makeup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A dress that, honestly, doesn t have this long train." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can manage it all myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can just, whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whereas, every year, I feel like it s become more... It hasn t become more complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like second year," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did have a train." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s stressful because you re not there to manage the look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of times these red carpet looks, they don t look right unless they re placed perfectly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Placed perfectly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is so interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This whole thing is smoke and mirrors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s people who are helping to straighten out the dress and stuff there, but you can t be there to make sure everything still looks as it s supposed to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you have a meltdown about that on the day of?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you refreshing Getty Images, freaking out?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, I m literally waiting for something to go wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it hasn t gone wrong for, I don t think there s been like, I ve never had something where I m like, oh my God, her top fell off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s not like, oh my God, nipple out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Kind of chic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that could happen this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you feeling?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m feeling so chill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, actually no, let me elaborate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are a few things I worry about every year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number one, how am I going to up my game with the interviews?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I don t want it to feel exactly like the year before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m always like, Oh, what can I bring to the table?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s maybe a bit new, but it s kind of hard to reinvent that wheel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it sort of just is what it is in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, and it s natural and it s dependent on the other person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s kind of," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing you can really do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, and there s not a lot of planning you can really do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, you also don t have much time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to ask people what they re wearing, how they re feeling, and then they leave." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they leave." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, I try to get something else in there too, if I can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your favorite movie?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, literally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, see, that s what I m thinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, how can I make it feel fresh or like bring some new" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "questions to it, but it s also like I cannot overthink it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m just trying not to overthink it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s where I m at with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a little stressed because I m out of control of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know what it s going to be until the moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t know who I m going to be interviewing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I know who s going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I had my table read today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How was it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to explain what that is?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The table read is basically now you re interviewing me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s basically where I go to the Vogue office and they tell me everyone who s going and what they want to talk about in their lives or careers, what they don t want to talk about in their lives or careers so that everybody feels comfortable and safe and loved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you have someone is someone whispering these things to you again on the carpet?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have like a full binder with all that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, what really stresses me out is like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want the day of, like you want, there s this fear, it s so vain, but it s like you re, you want to look good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s this stress of like, is my skin going to be good that day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, am I going to pose well that day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there s all these things like, is my face going to look good?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "washed out or whatever, or am I retaining water because it s my period and my face is bloated?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know, it s just all these fears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, thank God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a lot of people are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think is the worst thing that could happen?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On Met Day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I don t think period is the worst." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was on my period one year when I wore the white skirt, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I remember that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fully on my fucking period." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, stark white skirt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There actually has never been a whiter skirt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve never worn a whiter skirt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how I didn t bleed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were so cleansed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was clenching my cooter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Y all have never seen anything like it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the worst thing that could happen on that day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you get so sick you can t go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s, yeah, but is there such a thing as being too sick?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would go anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine you re like food poisoning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would go anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m actually not kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m fully serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, this is a good game." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if you got hit by a car and had memory loss and had to do the interviews?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You knew it was the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so dark." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You knew it was the Met." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t remember." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t remember who these people are, why you re there," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know you re gonna look amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, if I know I m gonna look amazing, I m still going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The dress is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have to interview everybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I be honest?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It d probably be the best interview I ever do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when you re not, when you re overthinking the interview, you re like, that s when it s weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like most people don t realize that you pretty much go in cold turkey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m full cold turkey, whereas like, for a podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if cold turkey s the right term, but." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is not, but I love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You understand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The way that you said it, you had spirit and it was close enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That you felt it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I say that we run with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you go in cold turkey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, like, I don t plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is so crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t, like, it s like, I do, I mean, planning in the sense of, like, I m aware of who s going and I m trying to be aware of, like, what they re working on and stuff at the time so that I can maybe reference it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "However, I do feel like, you know, a lot of times celebrities, they talk about what they re working on in that very moment so much on press tours and stuff that I think a lot of times people are excited to talk about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "themselves a little more, and something a little bit more personal, because I think most of the time people are like, my God, I ve been talking about my fucking movie for six months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have nothing else to say, I m just repeating the script." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s like a how are you is gonna have a more interesting answer for them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re gonna be excited to answer that question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, but anyway, back to fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is your ideal formula for putting together a Met look?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in the sense of working with a designer or not, maybe sourcing archive, what s sort of the ideal relationship with the glam team?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your sort of dream scenario?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What makes it the smoothest and the most effective?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what is the opposite?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what is a challenging situation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think something I didn t know before our first year was that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much more effective when you start these conversations with designers to pull references from their past runway shows, because everyone s mostly creating custom things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the first year, I think I had all these ideas and I presented it to Louis Vuitton, who you re going with, and none of them had anything to do with the brand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like nothing was like from past seasons, an archive pull, anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just like for inspiration." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quite quickly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh you have to Like pull from what they do best one so that they feel like it s highlighting their work But also like you want to pick things that they ve done well in the past because you see examples of it You know that it went well" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like it just helps speed the process along." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because everyone feels included and it s like leaning into people s strengths." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that is a I mean like that s where I try and start with anybody is like picking things from designers paths that are strong instead of just like random references." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s kind of what I can do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it is always nice when designers are receptive and excited and like want to collaborate because very rarely do talent and stylists and designers all like have the same idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you kidding me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ever?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally ever?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It never happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, which is great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like everyone brings something to the table." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which makes it like this collective fashion stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stew and soup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m hungry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you tell?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, that sounds yummy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should we have stew?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We should have stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We should call down and say thanks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you have stew?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d be like, please leave our hotel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, they re like, you re being moved to another hotel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can get stew on the street." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, you can get, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can get stew from a bodega." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do not do that here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where were we?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, fashion stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, back to stew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I mean, when a designer s receptive, that s like so nice, just because it s so much better when it s a collaboration, when it s like people who are down to like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "collab like really collab yeah and like want like talent and stylist opinion same for hair and makeup I think the best possible scenario is when everybody s like trusting and excited and like respects everyone around them which I feel like I think we ve gotten there but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were quite young for our first two years, and it s hard to be the youngest people in the room and also be the ones who are supposed to be directing it because, I mean, why would they trust us?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like- We re little kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we re literally- We re stinky little kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, gross." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re honestly gross and we need to change our diaper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of how people look at you, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And but I get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would, too, if you re like have been in the industry for years and you have like a 19 year old and a 23 year old like telling you what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One thousand percent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, but I do feel like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "year after year we re becoming more and more involved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I would say like the first three years we were just kind of fish out of water in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just still such a new thing and I feel like this is the first year where it s like Jean-Paul Gaultier was so down to collab with us and make something that felt like a true marriage of all of us in a new way that we ve never experienced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like they are asking us" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what do you think of this exact like material?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like do you want to use this type of lace or do you want to use this type of lace or this type of lace?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like they re giving us so many options." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Options so that we re really involved in the design process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean especially you like you re helping them choose like very specific details." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think where it gets challenging is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Met is such a public event that everybody wants their art in one way or another to show through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, that s why I think there s such a conflict of interest a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like the brand wants to represent themselves in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The stylist wants to represent themselves in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hair and makeup want to represent themselves in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then of course, the person wearing all of it wants to represent themselves in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s like so many people who want" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "themselves to be represented in the way that feels truly them as an artist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is where it s challenging because it s valid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, yeah, it makes sense that everyone wants to showcase their art and have it come through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s like, there are compromises that have to be made in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not every part of every person involved can shine, but that doesn t mean it s not going to be a great representation of everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we both like to play around and be involved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re really hands-on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Probably to a point that everybody s like, can they just fucking stop?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can they get out?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We never can work with them again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do they like fashion this much?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People hate us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People hate us, but I m ultimately going to be snatched." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they love me again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s talk about creating this year s look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As I said earlier, we started doing fittings for it and having meetings for it, what, two months ago?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was during Paris Fashion Week, which was February?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think so." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A while ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Explain the whole process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole process, well first we put together a list of people that we wanted and Vogue has a say in who you re wearing and it ended up being Gaultier and when we were in Paris for Paris Fashion Week we decided to have a meeting at their headquarters which is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say that was like one of the best days slash meetings of my entire life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was the best meeting ever because it s the most beautiful building in Paris and there s like the most amazing view and they have the whole atelier in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you can just go see them making like hand sewing all these crazy things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the coolest thing I ve ever experienced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah and I mean you had scoured" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Vogue, Runway, or whatever, and found so many good references that made sense for the theme, because that s the other thing, is that it can be hard to be on theme, because again, there are- I think it s very hard to be on theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is very hard to be on theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think, well, it depends on the theme especially, but I think in general it is hard to be on theme, because again, everybody has their own vision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to find something that s on theme, but also in the brand s DNA that you re wearing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So like you found all these references that could be torn off the runway and just warranted the event because it matches the theme enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you, that was really smart on your end, finding those references beforehand, bringing them to them and saying, this is the fucking vibe you guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But also let s make it new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, yeah, we showed up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had this meeting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They showed us their gorgeous offices with some of the best fashion I ve ever seen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we laid out all of our ideas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they had someone sitting next to us sketching as we were talking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also the coolest thing that s ever happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like where I m like a nerd." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would not even you re like, yeah, coolest fashion nerd ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need like a little pair of black glasses with a little tape around the center." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then like but it s like ultimately like Chanel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, that s so cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we do that nerdy fashion nerd glasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love I feel like a brand needs to come out with those is like a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, someone will know that would be really cute, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually adorable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like Balenciaga." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was going to say they love being silly like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, tell them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we need to keep that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we had that meeting, they had someone sketching, then they took all of your measurements, they measure your pinky toe, the distance from your toe to your thumb." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They actually measure every single inch of my fucking body." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like bottom of ear to top of ear to eye, just in case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just in case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the fashion glasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then after that, we had a couple Zooms where they put together some options, some sketches, and then we just gave them feedback." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they came to LA, we did our first fitting, which was like what, like a week and a half ago?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When was two weeks?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two weeks, I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was a good fitting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything was great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we had a few things to change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I think, you know, I have two looks because I have my main like look for the carpet and then I have a slightly less dramatic version for the," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "interviews and so, you know, we had to try on two separate dresses, but there were only like a few minor changes to both." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The carpet dress had more to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it was unfinished." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, the interview dress was closer to being done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that look was pretty solid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like done, but also even like even the actual dress dress was close to being done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s close enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it like everything fit really nicely because also this specific look is it s" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sleeveless corset vibes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes that can be a tough one to be flattering because you get the armpit vagina, you know, it doesn t give your arm the space to move properly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it just sort of like if you re if you have a strapless corset, it can squeeze you at the top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They can go up too high and then be very unflattering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was very nervous about that when we went into this look doing a corset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, Oh God, like I m going to definitely have a lot of notes about, you know, let s get rid of this armpit vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And ultimately there was none." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was no armpit vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t need more than one vagina on me, on any red carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All I need is one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What underwear am I going to wear under this, I m thinking, because it s kind of see-through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little bit see-through, like the thinnest matching, like... Are you... Well, I was going to suggest somewhat of a thong, but maybe just... I would wear a thong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a thin one, like a little seamless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Super thin thong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Barely there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hate thong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we can make it a little thicker than a thong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like a bikini." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like a bikini." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s actually big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s huge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s covering a whole lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but then is there anything between bikini and thong?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think that there is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe we should create that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have a new company." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In one day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have a new company starting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as you can see, fashion glasses and in between thongs and bikinis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this is a huge market." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a huge market." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love this company." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What should we call it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thong bikini glasses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I be honest?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Open that up in Soho, thong bikini glasses, something called that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Genuinely, there would be a line at the door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People would be like, I don t even know what they re selling, but the name is so chic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it actually is like, there s like a lore to that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I d be so confused." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Same, but that s what people would be like excited, like what does it mean, I need to know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never seen something like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve never seen something like this, I need to know more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is a good Met Gala look to you?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you see it, you re like, oh fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What it like, paint that picture for me broadly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll tell you what I think too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it has to take some type of risk for men." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if you re going and not doing something out of the ordinary, it s like, this is the time to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So something that s different and taking some type of risk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I just, I would love, I like it when people steer away from boring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, when else can you do this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for regular red carpets, if you just look gorgeous, great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for this, there s so many added layers that there s the opportunity to do something more creatively exciting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s like the biggest thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, I think you can just tell when something is flattering on someone and is the right color for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can kind of feel when it was a good process and they feel great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Personalized to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And their features." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think is a good Met Gala look?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "number one, something that does feel truly organic to the person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you see them in it and it s not like they look like they re dressing up in their parents clothes and they re a kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, it feels like, oh, this is them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is not, and it doesn t even necessarily need to be" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "their consistent aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just like they re wearing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just needs to feel like them wearing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like they are shining in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes sense for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In some way," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "ties into their personality or who they are, whether it s in a costume way, like in a, you know, I m dressing up as someone else or something else way or in a personal way, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also think definitely like beautiful tailoring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like the way something s tailored, if it s made for the body, like I think a lot of times, like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anytime it looks like, oh, you know, that the pants are a little too long or like the corsets a little too tight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like that s not how it s supposed to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not how clothes are supposed to fit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that but we find ourselves in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, for example, if we re doing a fitting in there and I m like squeezing into something, it s like we just can t do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like even if we could make it fit, it s like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The perfect tailoring is it s everything it s everything and I feel like that s overlooked for sure like that s why we have to do fittings up until the very last day because your body changes like you could be you could have pooped more and now you need to" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Take it in a little bit on the waist or maybe like you haven t pooped and you need to let it out There s so you need to let it out or you have gas and you re very very good at it And so there s there s always there s so many variables that you need to be doing fittings up until the last day to have something perfectly fitted Which is so crazy, but it kind of reminds me of like weddings, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People are doing fittings for their wedding like constantly constantly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like oh" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow, you re still doing fittings for the wedding?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so boring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so boring, no one cares." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why are you wearing, it s a white dress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you wearing that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s not camp." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jared, it can t be easy to do more than two people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, scratch that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More than one person for the Met because it is the biggest carpet of the year in many people s eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there are so many details that go into it and there s," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "kind of, it feels like a lot on the line, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s like very high pressure, especially when you are, you know, directly helping someone achieve a good look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there s a lot of pressure on you to make shit happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making me so nervous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So no, but listen, hear me out, hear me out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re correct." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re correct." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you manage having this year," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "what, five different people going to the Met, or four?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, five." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re addressing five people for the Met." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you manage that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you re not doing it all alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I have an insane, amazing team that, it s mostly, I mean, I have a team in LA, and most of them came out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a team of four." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lauren, Brooke, Maya, Emily, shout out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And literally obsessed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would be dead without." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So would you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d probably be naked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think I do things?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re just like, come on you guys, where s my coffee?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you don t do anything else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really inspiring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s who I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have a team and they re amazing and they have been like, they re very used to getting people ready for red carpets because there are lots of times where red carpets are happening and multiple people are going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So everybody has somebody who s with them, even if I m not able to be there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I try and, one, I try and give everybody as much time and attention as humanly possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everybody has one to two, if not three fittings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m usually there for all of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then kind of like day of," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do try and make it to everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was actually just planning this out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it really, the way I have to prioritize it is by who has the most complicated look, who needs the most help getting into it, who has the most unknowns with hair and makeup that need direction, and just kind of take it from there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this year, I m getting a car for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never done that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always, it s like a really-" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I gotta be whipped." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s actually a nice system because you re the first person on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is so weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the first one there, so you re earlier than everybody else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the way it s gonna work this year is I have another client staying at your hotel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who s starting glam around a similar time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can run up and down and like be with both of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we ll take you to the carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I can swing back and take" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "another client who s at another hotel to the carpet and then hopefully swing back and take another in the car to the carpet and then hopefully swing back and take the last couple to the carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is so intense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to do it because everybody I want to be with everybody as much as possible but the way I like plan it out is whoever" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean who needs the most like the most TLC tender loving care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you re You re dressed this year is a full corset from top to bottom This is definitely the most complex one in terms of getting dressed Yeah, and you re the earliest so I can lace you up and then go and then go take care of the next but I don t know you just have to like I m being present at all the fittings to make sure that like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all the prep going into it is done well is like the most you can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then showing up as much as humanly possible on the day of is also ideal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But once all the looks are like sorted and everything s done, like if the hair and makeup is simple and the outfit is worked out, like you really don t need much assistance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more just like moral support." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m trying to be there for everybody as much as humanly possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, you get it done, babe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re trying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get it done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we ll see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you have any predictions for what other people are gonna wear this year?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a great theme to go off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like, I mean, honestly, the best predictions I can give is there s gonna be a lot of florals and nature, but we re doing kind of the darker, grungier," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more gritty side of nature." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very much about death and decay and things at the end of their life cycle, which was a choice because the story that this theme is based off of, it ends with this enchanted garden being plucked and decayed and then it s just leaves and dead things left." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which was fun for us, but I feel like we re going to get a lot of people and like blushing flowers and beautiful blooming things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we re wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe everyone will be like, let s do decay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I was excited about the decay because it s it s sort of I like that color scheme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like the silhouettes that go hand in hand with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just like the overall feel of that more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a hot topic kid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m super different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m super different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very emo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m really emo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Goth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And goth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t say goth on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said something on an interview once and I got so much shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You literally wore black to a red carpet and you were like, this is super goth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the internet was so mad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, but you know what I meant?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was more like, I don t know, I m kind of like in a more gothic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it was grungy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I said grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t say goth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t say grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said this look is like a bit grungier than what I m like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like a gorgeous corset dress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t remember what I said, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if somebody s going to get mad at me and be like, you re lying and you re gaslighting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something with a G and was either soft or grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said grunge, I know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said something about being more in a grunge era of my life, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And everyone was like, this is not grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re wearing a gorgeous black gown." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Strapless dress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And red eyeshadow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But for me, it was grungier for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it wasn t necessarily grunge by definition." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I definitely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just strike those words from our language." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow, I am not using them anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Grunge, grunge, stop saying it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to be doing the interviews being like, this is so grunge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doing a pink little frilly dress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s like, what are you wearing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so grunge this year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, that s a one way ticket to just, I don t know, not really being a fashion girl anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to predict exactly what it ll be, but that s the fun of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Zendaya s a co-chair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s Zendaya going to wear?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Zendaya s going to wear," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like she s gonna wanna wear something corseted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, I feel like she ll wanna, maybe this is more of a hope, but I hope she does something romantic and kind of Edwardian." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I see romantic in silvery blues for her for this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t see this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Teal weirdly too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see greens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, green in it too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Greens, you re like green, green, yeah, that s what I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just be psychic and get this all right, I will freak out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we put, do we win?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, what do we win, you guys?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll just have a shot of tequila at the after party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you excited for after parties?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, wait for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to get into that last." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Pause." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we have to name a few more celebrities and what they re going to wear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, what about Ariana Grande?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big and pink, because it s wicked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s in her wicked era." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Big and pink, interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, I could see her in like a really sheer white" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "thing, okay, with like a bunch of flowers tacked onto it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like floral, like it looks like a forest inside of the." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inside of her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s inside of her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so that s what I picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s Rihanna gonna wear?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, Rihanna." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting, because last year she did a big like floral." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like cape-y thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like flowers, so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there was another year where she did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh wait, I actually don t remember what that looked like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow, I need to Google that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was pregnant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "iconic as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope that one day I can go to a Met Gala pregnant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be so sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I want to be like eight months pregnant, like about to burst." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I like go into labor at the Met Gala vibes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well that s obviously the plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that would be, you could actually time that out well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could find the day, have sex on that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just have to have sex in November." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not even going to attempt this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s August." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to trust you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "August, September, maybe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so tired." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we can t do math right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anyway, so I ll know when to have sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you can have you get that would be amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pregnant Met Gala would be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Imagine I bring baby daddy of the baby to it and we put him in a matching outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the next year you have the baby in an outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my boy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you get a dog." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t even think about it until you re 18." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I actually was thinking about that the other day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So baby gets shoved at home with my mom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mommy, you re taking this one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I feel like for me, like let s say, let s put this into the calendar, like 2029 Met Gala, I m pregnant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be sick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s kind of not in that long, five years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not that long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll have a baby at like 27, why not?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should have a kid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wouldn t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t have a kid yet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it would look so cute at the after parties." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a big question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you slash we going to after parties this year?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s been back and forth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have decided yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is so fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, here s the reason why I want to go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, originally I booked my return flight back to L.A." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tuesday after the Met Gala at 7 a.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was gonna literally stay up all night and then fly home." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is just crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know what I was thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why anyone listened to you and booked that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone should have stopped you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where were y all?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like yelling at my team who was in another room." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I don t know what I was thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, oh, I m just gonna be so tired." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I know what you were thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were thinking, if I go to after parties, then I ll get straight on the plane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, that s what I was thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s it, that was probably it, because you wouldn t come home and go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have an illness where if you- I have to pull an all-nighter before my flight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes no sense to me, and it s something we ll disagree on until we die." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I sleep like baba on the plane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but there have been times where we have flights early, and we have four hours, and you re like, we should probably just stay out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, let s get a three-hour nap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but you also don t- I ve gotten better about it, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do it more now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You also don t know, because I remember when we took a nap during that shoot, and it was the best decision we d ever made." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We did have a photo shoot once." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We were super jet lagged, because it was a shoot in Paris." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were like, OK, we have a one-hour lunch break." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can we nap?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we fucking napped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, you re right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not opposed to a nap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only thing is I just hate flying on the plane so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be knocked out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That I want to be knocked out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s my journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fear-based." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All is well because I moved my flight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we can party and sleep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we can party and then sleep and then wake up at like 11 a.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe even noon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not going to shoot for 11." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can have a drink and like just enjoy myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s crazy because there s like eight after parties." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was gonna say, this year I feel like conflicted because there s so many, so it s hard to tell what s the good one, what s the fun one, who s where." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just gonna have to be working the system." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lots of group chats." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lots of networking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of emails." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The thing that s interesting though is that I think when I went to my first" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Met Gala party, I was expecting it to be first year, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, pajamas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was expecting it to be like a party I ve never experienced, the after party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just a party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s crazy how normal the Met party, well, the Met gala event is unlike anything I ve ever been to before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, ultimately, it is like celebrity prom, but it is still its own experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nothing remotely like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it is very unique in all ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "However, the after parties totally just feel like a party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, after party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like last year, no one went out, and it was kind of sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This year people are going out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Definitely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I remember last year us like sitting in a corner being like, why is no one here?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like no one s going out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like this year we ll have a lot of good stories to report." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think so too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to be buck wild." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you going to dance hard and stuff?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to think if there are even ones with dancing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember that one that was like a basement." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, basement, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll dance there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a big open room with no one dancing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Austin, our friends, we need to go and we need to have fun and we need to dance and just say, who cares?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of you guys are trying to be too cool for school." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m done with this BS." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s cringe and I m gonna do the fucking Macarena if I have to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please don t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, too far?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will leave you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh no, I just wanna do the Macarena, please." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh yeah, my final story that s so funny, and then I m letting you go to your next, you have so much to do today, don t talk to me anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna just drop this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, literally just leave and I ll just keep talking for two hours." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not last year, but the year before I dyed my hair blonde, obviously I bleached my hair, and a photo of it got leaked or whatever, and we wanted to debut my blonde hair." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I be honest, I didn t know a photo got leaked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one told me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a photo fully got leaked and it was I like it was so funny because my agent saw the photo." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and was like, oh my God, no, and started freaking out and wouldn t tell me what was wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, girl, you gotta fucking tell me what s going on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she s like, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, did my nudes leak?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I don t even take nudes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What could it be?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, my boobs probably look great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I bet they look great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was probably holding them properly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was probably good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I haven t taken a nude in a really long time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t take bad nudes, so it s all good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I facetune my nudes, so it s fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s Owen s joke." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, Owen always jokes about facetuning his nudes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know my own boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that sounds like him, so you should be apologetic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Owen, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I stole your joke." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a good joke." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great joke." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Facetuning nudes is funny." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I genuinely haven t taken a nude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know the last time I ve taken a nude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just like not happening these days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe in the coming future." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe I ll take a nude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe I ll take one tonight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but it ll be like really gross." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll like be, oh my God, I had this like one time my friend took a photo of me in the bathtub and I like had a bunch of back knee and I was like bent over and it was like so funny and it is sort of a nude but it s hideous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m into that vibe of a nude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s funny." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Repulsive nudes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, yes, where it s like not trying to be hot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, anyway, back to what I was saying." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Basically, she s freaking out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, what is wrong?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s freaking me out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "my nudes are leaked and like something, like my cat died, like something happened." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was like, your hair got leaked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone can see it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like a photo with like, uh, I had gotten a massage done the day before and taken a picture with the girl who did it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause she s so awesome and whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she posted it on her Instagram." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so now the blonde hair is out in the world and she was freaking out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like, Oh my God, are you upset?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, not at all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like this shit is not that serious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re so tunnel-visioned, and we re so zoomed in that it s such a big deal to us, but also, it s not that big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really, it s all just fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all meant to be fun, and to raise money for the Metropolitan Museum, and that s really all it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not that serious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, however, we take it extremely serious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We spend nine months of the year thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, actually 12." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s honestly, it is a year round thought." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Although then there s like, but after we have to wait till I get an invite again, because then it s just like you can t start planning unless you get invited." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s embarrassing to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "However, we do also that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Jared, I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like so nerve wracking, actually, when I think about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "two days before, there s so much pressure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like the pressure s building, building, building, building, building." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m not like, I m not worried about anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything s gonna be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just pressure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s just pressure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re just under pressure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s so much to be excited about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so excited." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re just gonna have fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re gonna make it fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gonna be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s gonna be great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gonna be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for hanging out in your busy week, your busy met week." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you kidding?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You came to my hotel room and talked on the couch with me under a robe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that was my I asked for the." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you re cold." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, I wouldn t I wouldn t even be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There would be nothing else if you hadn t if you hadn t brought me on to do your first met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is the only reason I m here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, OK, well, let s relax with that because you re you slay and you re amazing at what you do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so are you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, we ll stop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, so we re going to go cry and hold hands." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to go cry, hold hands and kiss." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ll talk to you guys later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the time that you all are listening to this, you ve seen you ve seen it all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all out on the Internet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if it s so it s hideous?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You guys are like it could be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it could be." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ll see what you think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Touch base later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll touch base later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you for listening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you, Jared." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And thank you for coming on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I love you more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,814
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hello, and welcome back to a series that I have here on Anything Goes called Advice Session, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give my unprofessional advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In honor of the Met Gala this week, I ve decided to curate a special list of your current dilemmas that somehow relate to things that I have advice on because I ve learned weird things from attending red carpet events, from posing for photos, to putting together a flattering outfit, to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "socializing in high-pressure situations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve weirdly learned a lot from attending red carpet events, and it ll allow me to provide you with some unprofessional advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s waste no time and get right into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, somebody said, how do I pose for photos and not look awkward?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always feel weird when taking a photo and it s obvious in the picture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s a few things here, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a few separate variables that impact the way that you feel when taking a photo." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that is key to getting comfortable in front of the camera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to tell a story really quickly about my first photo shoot, like my first big campaign." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was for Hollister swimsuits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like already scary because it s a campaign and I need to pose and look pretty in clothes, which is something I was not very familiar with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but also it was in bathing suits so I m half naked as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was possibly the worst situation you could have for someone who s new to taking photos, especially in a professional sense, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sort of reminds me of acting or singing" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think about the most challenging part about acting or singing, it s getting out of your own way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about our ego that gets threatened when we perform in some way, because performing is vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re putting effort in and trying to do a good job, and there s a risk that if you don t do a good job, that it s really embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of these things, acting, singing, modeling, in a way like modeling for photos, whatever, there s good singing and there s bad singing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s good acting and there s bad acting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s good modeling and there s bad modeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things can be done wrong, which is why there s such a huge risk when you put yourself out there and you try to do it, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think with all of these things, the first step is to get out of your own way and be okay with being embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there are going to be times when you look stupid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be times when you sound stupid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to learn to accept that and to be comfortable with that feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I found that the best way to get over yourself is to practice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when it comes to taking photos, you can set up self-timer on your phone and just start practicing posing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can look back and be like, huh, how was that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, was that bad?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was that good?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need someone else to be there to take photos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s nice about taking photos is that also you can look at the result alone and analyze it alone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can practice this very well on your own in the safety of your solitude." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when it comes to singing or acting, a lot of times it s hard to judge your own singing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to judge your own acting because you re so deep in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very hard to reflect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you can take videos and watch them back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about singing and acting that is even more challenging in a way to get over yourself because I feel like there s just much more to critique there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s harder to judge your own work in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when it comes to a photo, it s two-dimensional, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much easier to analyze on your own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that s a great way to practice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beyond that, you can do little photo shoots with your friends more often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about practicing, practicing, practicing, figuring out what feels good, what you know looks good, figuring out your angles through practice, through trial and error, and slowly but surely becoming confident in your ability to take a good photo of yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s exposure therapy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the only thing that I found that helps me because my first few photo shoots were a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt so uncomfortable posing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so afraid of being embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it ended up creating images that were more embarrassing in a way because you could tell that I was uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It would have been overall probably less embarrassing to have just accepted the fact that I might look stupid while I m posing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it might be embarrassing and the photographer might think, wow, she has no idea what she s doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so funny and so cute." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I would have tried and just settled into it and accepted it and surrendered to it, it would have ended up looking good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wouldn t have been crying in the bathroom during the photo shoot, freaking out and saying, I can t do this anymore because that did happen to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s number one, sort of surrendering to the potential embarrassment and putting your ego aside and just saying, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be human is to take photos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, this is a part of our lives now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s nothing to be ashamed of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And posing for a photo, it s not that embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if it is, who gives a fuck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My second tip is to practice in the mirror." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so embarrassing, but I ve practiced in the mirror a lot before photo shoots, before red carpet events, just figuring out what looks good in the clothes that I m wearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it might sound like overkill, but it s incredibly helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like literally my stylist Jared and I set out like five minutes before we leave for a red carpet event for me to pose in the mirror and figure out what poses look good in the outfit and what emphasizes, you know, certain details of the outfit in the best way possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What angles look the best with my hair, with my makeup, like what looks the best because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, understanding your body and what you re wearing and how to best present it makes it easy when it comes time to take a photo." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you, you know, obviously we ll broaden this advice a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every once in a while when you think of it and you re in the bathroom by yourself, you can practice posing for a photo." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s embarrassing, even though you re alone and no one s seeing, it s still kind of embarrassing, but it s incredibly helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it helps you figure out what you like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it really makes sense as to why it works, because you re connecting your physical movements now with a visual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of the time when you re taking a photo, you can t see what you look like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re nervous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, God, I don t know what I look like when I smile like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it look like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it look bad?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I don t know what it looks like when I bend one knee a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that look flattering?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can doubt yourself and get in your head when you re unfamiliar with what it looks like to pose in certain ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you practice in the mirror, then you become familiar with what it looks like when you smile a certain way, when you look serious in a certain way, when you angle your body in a certain way, when you pop your knee in a certain way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You eventually connect what it looks like with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a mirror in front of you with what it looks like when you don t and you re just alone with the camera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can t see yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just sort of connects the dots and it gives you a better connection to your body movements in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I think it really helps to surround yourself with people who don t judge you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very hard to have someone who is judgmental taking a photo of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s say you re someone who, you know, you like to, you use Instagram for fun, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And who else is going to take your Instagram photos other than your friends?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the people in my life who take my Instagram photos are my friends, my family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sometimes I shoot with photographers as well, but when it comes to like my more casual sort of photos, those are friends and family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though I have a lot of practice now with posing in front of the camera," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If someone is behind the camera who is judgmental of me, I cannot pose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I freeze up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m awkward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the most part, you know, it s like the people in our lives are the people who are taking photos of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re surrounding yourself with people who judge you for who you are, how the fuck are you supposed to pose for a photo for them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it sort of comes down to this, like, larger issue of, like, who is in your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And do you feel accepted by them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you feel free to be goofy or to embarrass yourself in front of them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you surround yourself with people like that, it s so much easier to allow yourself to be embarrassed, not just with them, but also in general in life, because your closed circle allows you to exist in that mental space often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then when you go outside of that group, it s easy for you to check into that mental space of just being like, hey, I can be myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people like me when I m myself because you have people around you who remind you that constantly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, number two, somebody said, how do I do makeup that looks good in photos and in person?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It usually looks good in one, but not the other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a makeup artist, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, some of you might be like, Emma, I don t want to hear this from you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fair enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I ve studied what makeup artists do for me, and I ve studied what I do on myself, and I ve learned a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s what I ve learned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m a rookie." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m a makeup rookie." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know a lot about makeup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love doing my makeup, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I m not like an artist at it by any means." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the skincare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is something that s very well known nowadays, but the skincare prep before the makeup is so important for keeping the skin looking like skin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you put foundation, which can sometimes dry a bit dry, on a dry face, your skin is just gonna look dry and papery and like not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if you properly moisturize and hydrate the skin before you put the makeup on, it ll sit on this like gorgeous sheet of moisture and your skin will look more supple and more normal like skin, like natural skin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I tend to keep it simple." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just wash my face and then I do" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a thin layer of moisturizer and a thin layer of face oil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, face oil doesn t work under all types of foundations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes oil can like not meld well with foundation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I haven t had an issue with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the foundations I use have been all good with putting oil underneath it, but the oil really" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "keeps you looking sort of dewy and hydrated all day in a way that looks very natural and, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think foundation matching, like making sure that your foundation and your concealer match properly is so important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you re like me and you don t know how to match it, talk to a fucking professional and have them match it for you because that will make your makeup not look good if it s not the right shade." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a lot of times it looks really good on camera to do makeup really heavy okay like contour your face really heavily mattify the face in certain areas like really reduce the shininess to make your face look super like perfect and like filtered almost airbrushed" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, it can look good to have like really thick eyelashes on in a way just like really brings the eyelashes out because there s something about the camera that sort of dulls the effective makeup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can be wearing a decent amount of makeup and then turn your phone camera on and be like, wait, it looks like I m wearing none." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just something about the phone that makes everything look less extreme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It like dulls the features to a point that makes it so that if you want things to really show up, you kind of have to overdo it in person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now the problem with that is makeup that looks good on camera, when it s super visible and it s super extreme, it just tends not to look as good in person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it can look at times overly cakey because maybe there s too much powder to mattify things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can look overly contoured where it s like you look at the side of someone s face and you re like, that s so much contour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it just looks like, you know, a deeper shade of fucking like line down the face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s just like, what is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The eyelashes can look too overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can overpower the face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think finding the perfect balance is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know it s like if you want it to look good on camera but then also good in person it s like basically pushing it as far as you can in person constantly checking in the mirror in different lightings and stuff to make sure that nothing s too extreme pushing it as far as you can go while still making sure that it s not overpowering in person it s like finding that perfect balance and it takes practice but i recommend checking in every different light" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, look in shaded light, look in direct sunlight, look in partially shaded sunlight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, take a mirror out and fucking walk around the house and like check a bunch of different lightings and see what it looks like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s where you can find certain flaws." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I didn t blend well enough or oh, I over applied here or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "testing it out is really important and taking your phone out and looking in the phone and eventually you ll get into a place where you understand how to do it where like it can look good everywhere but I ve found you know specifically when it comes to red carpets the lighting is so unpredictable and you know sometimes people are filming and and so it s not a photo with extreme lighting it s more of a realistic view of the makeup and so makeup artists have to sort of balance" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "making it look extreme enough to show up on camera but also not so much that it looks really unflattering when it s not in like a flash photography photo." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that certain things that work for me is kind of taking it easy on the skin like you know covering blemishes and stuff like that of course" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but going light with the product, like going in with one layer of product." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I need full coverage foundation, going in with a full coverage foundation instead of trying to build up like a light or medium coverage foundation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Using the least amount of product possible just tends to make things sit better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, fake eyelashes tend to look good in photo, but then in person can sometimes look a bit goofy on me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It overpowers my eyes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so we tend to avoid those." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I refuse to fill in my eyebrows because when I fill in my eyebrows, it can look good in person, but then in photos, my eyebrows can look like blocks, so we just don t do it at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you have to weigh pros and cons of certain things, but it s a lot of testing, a lot of trial and error, and eventually you sort of figure it out, I guess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, how to put together an outfit that s flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like half the time my outfits look kind of off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I so understand this because it s actually kind of a challenge to put together an outfit that is balanced in flattering when it comes to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the silhouettes and the way that things fit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I do think the most important thing is having clothes that fit properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s step number one for things to be flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if a shirt is too tight or it s too big, it s not going to be flattering for the most part." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s obviously times when like maybe, you know, a more oversized baggier look can be cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s almost more challenging sometimes to find things that are oversized, baggy, that are flattering because they re not naturally supposed to fit you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that that s a style and a trend, there are more things that you can find in shops that are like supposed to look oversized but in a flattering way, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that is a way that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "brands are manufacturing clothing, producing, they re creating clothing with that in mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, there are times when you just want something to fit oversized, so you buy it oversized." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe you went down in a size, so now something s too big, it doesn t really fit quite right anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can try to make it work, but a lot of times, it s just not going to look flattering, it s just not going to look right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And same thing if you re like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "squeezing into a pair of jeans that don t fit you anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve tried to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been like, I love these jeans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew out of them, but I love them and I want to keep wearing them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they don t look right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The butt looks squished and it s sort of squeezing my waist really tight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can see that it s like cinching my waist really tight and it looks unflattering because it s like squeezing my body and it doesn t look quite right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s frustrating when clothes doesn t fit right and you can try to make it work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think, you know, the best thing you can do for yourself is number one, just buy clothes that fit you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only is that more comfortable, but it s ultimately more flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So having clothes that fit right, that s number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re struggling, you re like, God, I cannot find clothes that fit me in the store." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s common, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can t possibly make things for every single different type" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of like you know some people have really long arms some people have like maybe wide hips but like a narrower waist or some people have you know wide hips and they have like really long legs some people have what it s like there s so many different body types" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that exist in this world, and what a beautiful thing that is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, brands, a lot of them try, which is amazing, but it s very rare that there s something for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s so challenging, which is why I have started getting things tailored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not ideal all the time, and it s definitely, you know, you have to pay for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like an added cost in addition to what you ve purchased, like the piece of clothing that you ve purchased." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it is so helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s something that you ll be able to wear for a long time and you can rely on this piece of clothing because it s flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know it s flattering, it fits you properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But problem number two is balancing the silhouettes of clothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I wish that there was some sort of formula for this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that to an extent there is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is somewhat opinion-based." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, some people might disagree with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what s flattering in my eyes might not be flattering in other people s eyes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there is some of this that is subjective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times you do need to go based on feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there are some general rules that I follow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if they re universal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they re not, but like for example, if I m wearing a sneaker, okay, the types of pants that look good with a sneaker are usually either a baggier pant that like covers the whole top of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shoe for the most part or it s a slightly cropped pant like a high water that shows a little bit of ankle that tends to be flattering with a sneaker or you can see a little bit of the sock or you know shorts like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can look flattering with a sneaker, but I tend to think it looks weird without some sort of higher-up sock, like a mid-calf sock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that tends to look more flattering than wearing an ankle sock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think ankle boots, like boots that cut off at the ankle," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "tend to be pretty unflattering unless you re wearing a pant or a dress or a skirt that goes all the way past it and covers the ankle, whereas a knee-high boot looks more flattering with short skirts, short shorts, maybe like a mid-calf skirt where like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it all just looks like one sort of unit in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think crop tops, well, I don t really like crop tops anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re not very timeless to me, but I think a cropped shirt looks nice with a higher-waisted pant because it just tends to look more balanced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a crop top in like a low-waisted pant, like whereas I like a lower-waisted pant with like a long shirt that maybe leaves like a little sliver of skin, but that just tends to look more balanced to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, there are like all these different rules that I have in my head that I ve learned over the years from trial and error, figuring out like what to me looks balanced on my specific body type, and it s very different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it is a matter of trial and error." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I wish that there was a better solution." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wish that there was a mathematical equation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it tends to come down to trial and error." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of times something can look off and it s because, you know what, you re wearing the wrong shoe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like, oh, I m wearing this outfit with a sneaker, but it would actually look way better with a boot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, oh, I m wearing a loafer with this outfit, but it would actually look better with a boot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m wearing a boot with this outfit and it would actually look better with a ballet flat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or anyway, I think a lot of it is trial and error." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think over time you build sort of formulas for your outfits and you just start to figure out what looks good with what." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like the way dress pants look with loafers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the way that skirts, long skirts, look with boots or with a loafer with a sock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that always looks really balanced and flattering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to wear longer shirts, longer sweaters with a long skirt because that looks really flattering together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas I like to wear maybe a bit shorter of a shirt or a bit shorter of a sweater with jeans because I like to be able to see the pockets because that tends to be more flattering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like to cover the waist section of jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t look as good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that I like to add a belt sometimes to pull in the color of the shoe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just so many things that I ve learned over the years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think it s a matter of trial and error." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve learned a lot about this from red carpet events and events in general because a lot of times, you know, outfits get photographed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I am very aware when I m looking at the photo whether or not the outfit was flattering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I ve learned more specifically from red carpets rather than like me just getting sort of dressed on a day-to-day basis is, you know, of course still like balancing silhouettes and colors and all these things and making sure that it s tailored properly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also very important with red carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also figuring out something that works for your body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are certain things that I just don t like on my body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not flattering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I do not like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "any sort of silhouette that makes my shoulders look broad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I tend to avoid things that have a scoop neck, for example, because scoop neck does not look good on me for some reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t like, it s not flattering on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t like the way that it looks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like dresses that are in bright colors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t tend to wear gowns that are like really bright colors because those colors are not flattering on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of going into picking out a look with the idea like, oh, I just really want to objectively like this outfit," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or like this dress or like this gown or like this outfit, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go into it with the mindset of, what do I like that also flatters me in my body?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s kind of heartbreaking at times, I think, because it s like, oh my God, but I really love this, but it s not flattering on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many things that I love that do not flatter me, just does not look good on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I feel more confident and more satisfied when I m wearing something, when it s flattering, I have to make that choice and be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This doesn t flatter my body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the way that it looks on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not going to wear it and I m going to take that loss because something being flattering is my number one priority when it comes to, well, it s not my number one priority, but it s one of my top priorities when it comes to putting on an outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at times you have to remind yourself that it s not just about what you like, but also about what you feel looks good on you, too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why, you know, we tend to buy so many things and become dissatisfied, especially when we order online and stuff, because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re ordering just based on what we like and not based on what flatters us and that s why it s so helpful to go shopping in person because you can try things on and see if they re flattering and you know that you re going to be satisfied with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Overall, this whole sort of process of figuring out what s flattering for you is an ongoing journey and it s a lot of trial and error and it s sometimes going to the tailor to get things to fit properly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I wish you luck on your journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody said, my senior prom is coming up this month and I just want to feel good, but I don t even know where to start." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel physically like shit and I have no idea what to wear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a mess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, help me, girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking got you because when I go and do, again, like a red carpet event," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to like go on a mental physical journey beforehand so that I can feel my best because at the end of the day like going and doing a red carpet event you re going up trying to look your best and feel your best and that s what you want to present to the world on that red carpet and so I have quite a few things that I like to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "physically this is this goes beyond just like for an event this is just my life but I do think it s important to be moving on a daily basis as much as you can in ways that feel fit for you like for me I love workout classes okay I love the way that they make me feel physically because I feel stronger because they re challenging for me" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then also I love the endorphins that I experience afterwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that actually not only helps me physically, but also helps me mentally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just overall in a better physical mental space when I m exercising." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you can find what that looks like for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to go for a walk every day outside, maybe it s walking your dog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make that into your exercise moment of the, you know, your movement moment of the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s yoga." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s, I don t know, like signing up for a sport, like an adult recreational sport." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But movement in general in life is so, it s just, you can t," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "go wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helps with everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s undeniably helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, especially when I have an event coming up, I m like, you know what, I m going to use this time to like recenter myself, but to also feel just like physically strong and good and healthy and that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feels good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a good feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So adding that into the routine I think can really help with physically feeling like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also I think cooking at home really helps me feel better physically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I m eating out a lot, a lot of times the food that you either get, you know, pre-prepared or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from restaurants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feel as good running through the body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just ingredients in there that maybe don t make you feel as good sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is at least my experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the most part, eating out tends to not make me feel good physically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can fuck with my stomach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to maybe eat less nutritious foods when I m eating out a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that just doesn t make me feel good either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not as energized." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m feeling kind of lazy or sluggish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I cook at home, on the other hand, I m usually cooking things that are more nutritious, do have fresher, better ingredients." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that can really help me feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My stomach feels better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I have IBS anyway, so I already have a sensitive stomach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I know what ingredients I should and shouldn t use to keep my tummy in a happy place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, I don t know, I m just like, I know what I m putting in there and I m putting more simple ingredients in there and it just feels better in my body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that helps a lot too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think just" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever type of movement feels good for you, and then also cooking for yourself, I think, really is helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you just, I don t know, you just end up feeling better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when it comes to picking out an outfit, I think the first step is to get a basic idea about what you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might not end up getting what you want, or you might end up changing your mind once you start really shopping, but there is something helpful and inspiring about having an idea of what you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get on Pinterest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a Pinterest board." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start pinning different dresses" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is start figuring out what you like and what you don t like and get a basic idea of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I really think it s good to go shop in person, to be honest, because it s just so much easier and it s foolproof." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can just narrow down the list of options so quickly when you re, I don t know, in person and you re like trying things on and you re like, wait, that doesn t fit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of like ordering six dresses online and getting them all delivered and none of them fit properly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think mood boarding is crucial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because then it gives you something to look for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, you re just like, oh my God, I m overwhelmed by these options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have decision fatigue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now at least you have something to cling to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, I know I like blue dresses, so I m just going to look in the blue dress section." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I know I like dresses with a sweetheart neckline, so you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go in the section with all the dresses with the sweetheart necklines." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives you something to look for, and that s very helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, somebody said, how to communicate properly in high pressure situations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always freeze up or blurt out nonsense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not good under pressure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of experience with this at events like the Met where I m interviewing people or even I m just inside at the dinner at the gala itself and I m, you know, around all of these people that are put very much on a pedestal in society, you know, and I m in a room with these people and I m like, how the fuck am I supposed to be acting?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that the most helpful thing to do is to take everyone and everything off of the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re trying to bring yourself up and put yourself on the pedestal too, you have it all wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in a high-pressure situation," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s usually because you re taking something very seriously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not inherently bad to be taking things seriously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, if you re taking things seriously to a point where it s debilitating for you, there s a chance it s because something or someone is on a pedestal in a way that s unhealthy for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that you take that off the pedestal, the pressure has alleviated 50%, at least, if not more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for me, when it comes to interviewing people at the Met Gala or having a really serious meeting with important people who could make or break certain things for me, you know, when it comes to things like that, I have to just take it off the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, because today s episode is about what I ve learned from the red carpet, let s use the Met Gala interviews as an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what I did psychologically to sort of take the pressure off of myself so that I could behave normally, I had to, number one, reinforce my belief that celebrities are just normal people and that they belong on the pedestal no more than the next guy, which is ultimately true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Celebrities, yeah, a lot of them are very talented, have special talents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of them are very charismatic and good looking and you feel like they re godlike in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like talking to anyone else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m not nervous to talk to the barista at the coffee shop in the morning, I shouldn t be nervous to talk to a celebrity on the red carpet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they are the exact same human." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just human." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just talking to humans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve believed that for a while now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s one thing to believe that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s another thing to be faced with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has been very important for me to actively repeat to myself that truth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in moments when I catch myself getting all riled up, that is a normal fucking person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So chill the fuck out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares if you embarrass yourself in front of them?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares if you fuck it up?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t fucking matter because they re human and they poop and they wipe just the way the rest of us do, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to take it to another example, it s like, let s say you re having a conversation with your significant other that s really uncomfortable and it s high pressure and you freeze up and you get nervous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you know, chances are you re putting the relationship up on a pedestal and that s why you re so nervous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why there s so much pressure because you re like, I don t want to lose this relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This relationship means so much to me and if I confront, then I might lose it and I really don t want to lose it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to take the relationship off that pedestal and you have to be like, listen, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This relationship is really special to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means a lot to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, there are a lot of fish in the sea and if this doesn t work out, it wasn t supposed to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s no better than what I could actually go find elsewhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a good chance that I could find something even better elsewhere if this doesn t work out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take it off of the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give it an air of reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And through that, take the pressure off of yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the best way to do this is to number one, figure out why the situation is high pressure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then number two, figure out what needs to be taken off the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then to remind yourself over and over and over and over again when you re faced with the high pressure situation, why it does not need to be as high pressure as it feels and why you do not need to freeze up and why you don t need to act different and why you don t need to overthink things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, you guys, that s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all my advice for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that some of it was helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, was it unprofessional, but I hope it was still at least helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love you all, and I love that we get to hang out, and I always have fun when we get to hang out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you enjoyed it, hey, tune in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video is exclusive to Spotify, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my TikTok at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my YouTube at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out Anything Goes Instagram or TikTok at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go check out my coffee company at Chamberlain Coffee on everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ChamberlainCoffee.com to use the store locator and see if we re in a store near you or just order directly from the website directly to your door." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you guys, that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have so much fun together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t we just have so much fun together?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know we do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I just love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I will talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will be talking to you in a few days." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In honor of my favorite fashion event of the year, the Met Gala, I ve decided to come to the Vogue office here in New York City to speak to Sergio, the global entertainment director at Vogue magazine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He oversees all celebrity bookings for Vogue US, UK, Latin America, and Mexico." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Over the course of his career, Sergio has worked at Harper s Bazaar," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women s Health, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s produced the World Music Awards and worked at numerous record companies, including Motown, Sony, Arista, and Virgin Records." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m excited to talk to Sergio today because I feel like we all have our assumptions about the fashion world, what it means to be in the fashion world, what it means to work in the fashion world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve seen movies like Devil Wears Prada." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve read articles about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all have" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "our assumptions, but I want someone to come in and tell us what s really up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s why I m excited to be speaking to Sergio today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to be discussing what it s like to work behind the scenes in fashion, as well as" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "details around the Met Gala because obviously it s the biggest fashion event of the year and there s a lot to uncover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I present to you Sergio from Vogue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do want to know about you as a child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you a fashionable kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I was obsessed with little costumes and it was weird, but... I mean, I m not a fashion guy to begin with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I was born in the former USSR and I was obsessed with music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, the fact that I am working in entertainment and you see Vogue cover so much music, it s because I m obsessed with musicians." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time there s somebody music on the cover, it s probably because I have stressed everybody on our team about putting that person on the cover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have such passion for musicians because like ever since I remember first time watching a music video on my grandmother s couch when I was like five years old in Russia and it was Michael Jackson s Billie Jean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did not speak a word of English, could not understand what Michael was singing about, but I had such a strong reaction and I wanted to work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "behind the scenes in music and somehow it all just came together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, how did you get from like being music obsessed to now working at Vogue?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we moved to this country when I was 12 and I didn t know anyone, there was no connections, there was no like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hey, I know this person, they will hook you up with a job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to a community college in Westchester, and somehow I got an internship at, do you know Arista Records?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know who Clive Davis is?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Clive Davis is a big time record executive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He, quote unquote, discovered Whitney Houston, and Carlos Santana, and Janis Joplin, and all these iconic musicians." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got to talking to somebody at this label, and he was like, well, do you want to intern?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have internships available." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I literally started, like, ditching school and going in, like, two, three times a week, no pay, 12 hours a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to be a sponge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would walk in every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And from the moment I was there, I just wanted to observe and take everything in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And somehow it led me" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To this, I spent like three years as an intern at Arista Records working for free, didn t finish college, got offered my first job in my last year of college, and my first job was at Motown Records working in radio promotion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I spent..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A year working at Motown, we all got fired because someone, another company bought out this label." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody got let go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got my second job working at Sony, my third job working back at Arista Records, the place that I interned." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And after Arista, I went to Virgin Records, spent two years there, got so burnt out, and took a year off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in that year, I saw Devil Wears Prada." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And somehow I realized that that is the one thing in my career that I haven t done yet, like work in the fashion industry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s that film that made me want to work here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean here, like in fashion in general, in magazines." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember seeing that movie and realizing that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vogue is basically at the top of the food chain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was my goal all along." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully one day I get to work at this magazine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then how did you get to Vogue?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I worked at six different magazines before working with Vogue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I spent five years at Cosmo." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While I was at Cosmo, I got my own magazine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They gave me 17, so I was booking 17." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And after 17, I did like Redbook and Women s Health, and my last job at that company was working for Harper s Bazaar, which you obviously know as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this job at Vogue somehow became open because the previous booker who was here for 20 years was leaving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Uh-huh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my friend works at GQ." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was like, you should come and interview for this job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, there s no way in hell Anna Wintour is gonna hire me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I drop more fuck words, more fucks in a single sentence than probably anyone she knows." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m covered in tattoos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not polished." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just a worker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I go in I have a vision and How do I get it done?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and I don t even know how to explain it, but like I walked into our office The first person I interviewed with was Anna." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no human resources There was no like number two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first interview for this job was with Anna and I had a broken foot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh Three broken toes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, and I refused to wear my boot and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going to say, she would not like the boot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never dress up to go to work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to see me in a sweater or a tie or a jacket." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I walk into Harper s Bazaar that day in a really nice sweater, really nice pants, these Valentino boots, and someone I work with goes, do you have an interview?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you dressed that way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, no, no, I have an event after." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, no, I don t believe you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way you re coming into work looking like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to the interview here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve heard before that, you know, usually like interviews here take like 5 to 10 minutes at the most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ended up talking for maybe 20." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was only supposed to meet with Anna." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got to meet with two other people that day, and walking out of here, I kind of had an idea that I was maybe the front runner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it all just happened so quickly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think within two weeks, I was hired." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s been almost six years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like most people would think about working at Vogue, and it s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, well, it s a fashion job, but I feel like it s so much more dynamic than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to be up to date on pop culture because the fashion piece of it is absolutely crucial, but it s also like for the mainstream, not everyone s into fashion, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you want everyone to be into Vogue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that something that comes naturally to you, or are you just like naturally soaking up pop culture in a way, or are you sort of someone who has to go out and seek it out?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like obviously it comes naturally for you with music and musicians, but what about, you know, when it comes to the broader industry, like what is that sort of experience like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you stay in the know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything has to do with pop culture right like I remember being growing up and Vogue had a tagline before it s anywhere It s in Vogue right and it always stuck with me like I was obsessed with supermodels back in the day like my walls were covered and like photos of Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell and yeah Turlington Apart from music like supermodels was like my obsession." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I always paid attention to what fashion magazines were doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now, everything I do, I pay attention to what s happening in theater, to what s happening in film, in television, in music, with influencers, with TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to make sense for a vote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the day, it is a fashion brand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t want to miss out on something that s happening in pop culture that has nothing to do with fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Working at so many different magazines, how has it been different curating for Vogue in all things?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I feel like Vogue is the top dog." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, that must be terrifying in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, there s this weight because it s like, it must be taken so seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like, how do you" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a gut feeling, like, this feels right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Always a gut." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, listen, this is how it works in every single magazine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember being in every magazine I worked in prior to Vogue, they all paid attention to what was happening at Vogue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "However, every single brand had an identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, something that works for Cosmo may not work for Marie Claire or Elle or Harper s Bazaar or Vogue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Something that works for, you know, Harper s Bazaar is not going to work for all those other brands." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "However, once you re in Vogue, you literally could" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "go anywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I knew that when I started out working at Marie Claire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is the epitome of what s happening in pop culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Here, it s all about your, like, it is your personal opinion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You are curating these ideas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You go into a meeting with a big staff and you make pitches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like every single publicist, every agent, every manager, they pitch ideas to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We speak to them on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like every single booker from every single brand, from every single TV show, you kind of have to know, but you don t always know because you don t, you don t, there s not enough time in the world to watch every TV show, to watch every film, to listen to every single album or single that s sent to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you kind of have to have a gut reaction to this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s always a buzz." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like someone will be the first one to discover it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not the one who s going to discover it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m going to ride the wave." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I have to pay attention to what s happening in pop culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s my job to walk in every single day and say, I heard about this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We should look into" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "this person or we should, you know, pay attention to this or what s happening here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe they re not ready for Vogue yet, but maybe in two months they will be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s how every single magazine works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We all function in the same way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We all want to be the first to put somebody fresh on the cover who no one has had before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then you don t want to risk it and put somebody on the cover who no one is going to click on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s this double-edged sword." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Every time you do a cover story or a feature or put somebody in a video or invite somebody to the med or bring them to an event, it s always a 50-50." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You never know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you feel like the overall strategy has changed post-social media explosion?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Social media changed everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For every single industry out there, for fashion, for entertainment, for every single movie and TV studio, we all have to follow what s happening on social media because talent has even more influence now than ever before because they have anywhere from 10 million to, you know, what, Kim K has 400 million followers on Instagram?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Talent has more power than ever before, and they have their own platform where they can do anything they want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So how is this going to work for both of us?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, yes, everybody still wants Vogue, but is it going to be the right thing for both the brand and just because you have 300 million followers doesn t mean that we need to cover that project." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you re doing every single thing under the sun," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "what s the gain in us featuring someone?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you live your life on social media, how is that going to be interesting for our audience, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, if you already put everything out there, what are you giving to us or W or Vanity Fair or, like, if you re doing 17 covers, what s the point?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a great point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s almost like... It becomes diluted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, you literally just..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you give up everything on social media every single day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why do you need a cover?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like you don t even need it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so true because it s like there s no story to tell." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never even thought of it like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like I think that is probably what makes a cover story so interesting is when you re uncovering something about a public figure that you couldn t really access otherwise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, everyone is so guarded nowadays." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, like, every single video you see on Instagram or TikTok, people take, like, 10 different versions of that video and post the best one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, I mean, I don t want to sound like an old man, but, like, I remember, like, I loved picking up Interview magazine because Madonna just revealed something she hasn t said anywhere else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I loved picking up Vanity Fair and reading a story about a cover star where, like, Kourtney Love literally admitted to, like, taking" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "drugs during pregnancy, and yes, that backfired on you, and it was a horrible experience for her, but celebrities back in the day weren t that afraid to speak up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you feel like the media training of today, like everyone s so media trained, has negatively impacted the industry?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, everything is controlled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At the end of the day, even if you are guarded, it s going to take an amazing writer for you to open up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you don t want to open up, you shouldn t do press." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you have a publicist who says to me, don t ask this person these three topics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why are they doing an interview?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or guess what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s it s our job as a journalist to ask the questions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s your job to say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t want to answer that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can we move on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why do you why does your publicist have to tell me in advance?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s don t ask that question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If your talent doesn t know how to pivot, then maybe you should do some more media training." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a really, really phenomenal point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people look at press in this industry as like, maybe less of a, I think talent especially, maybe looks at it less as like a mutually beneficial thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like a lot of people get really too big in their bridges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, no, you need me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vogue, you need me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is obviously not true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We both need each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We both need each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like everyone needs each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is very fascinating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are just so scared because it s such a witch hunt sort of time that everyone s like so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe it s always been a witch hunting sort of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was always a witch hunt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The moment paparazzis became a thing, which was what, in the 1950s, celebrities were being followed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Politicians were being followed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Anyone who in some way was famous was being followed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you wanted to know their secrets." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there was Star Magazine and National Enquirer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there was always that witch hunt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The moment you become famous, regular people feel like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t have feelings as a celebrity that you are prepared for anything that comes your way because you chose that life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "At the same time, there are boundaries for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Nowadays, you are afraid to speak about anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because social media will tear you apart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But all you have to do is don t go on social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Don t pay attention." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just a bunch of people who are trying to start shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what about strategy that, like Vogue does YouTube so well, so well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, everyone loves the Vogue YouTube channel and it s such like a genius sort of focus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like YouTube is a huge focus for Vogue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, we definitely get more access than I think any other brand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And at the end of the day, it all is because of this brand that s been built over, what, like 130 years now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It means something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a status for a lot of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And once you get Vogue, these fashion brands and just brands in general look at you in a different way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you will probably get bigger jobs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is that we need you and you need us moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We have an amazing video team and we literally will brainstorm and pitch ideas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like we have quite a few series that we do on the regular from the getting readies to 24 hours to the cooking series that you did for us now serving 73 questions, life and looks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And like, it is a curation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like every single time we have to do an episode, we go through a list of names of who would be the best person" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for that video tied to a project, like, it is all connected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we get access like no one else does, which I m incredibly grateful for because at all my other magazines, I was like struggling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And look, not to say that we get everyone we want here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I feel like almost everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s nice to work at a place where for the most part, I can go to most people and they will at least hear me out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "1,000%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s interesting because this industry was at one point so just physical paper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just paper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was the industry as a whole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now- Fully controlled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, so controlled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like every single page." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there was no social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There was nobody talking about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, we don t like that cover." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We don t like that person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We don t like that interview." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We don t like the cover line." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We hate that tiny part in the video." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It just, it disappeared into the abyss." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, every single thing is under a microscope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we are under a microscope for everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But by the way, I don t feel, I m not going to feel bad for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, everyone else goes through the same thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Every single brand, from fashion to entertainment to publishing, we all experience the same problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s even more interesting" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "though, too, because now, like, being a magazine, you have to do more than just the print." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to do the... Like, there s... It s 360." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s the YouTube now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s, like, oh, are we gonna do, like, a merch collection?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or are we gonna do this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we gonna do... Like, there s so much more happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "TikTok videos, social media videos... Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "...behind-the-scenes videos... Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "...interviews, cover stories, features, .com art." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, there s so many layers to every single thing we do... Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "...that sometimes it" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "could be a bit overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s like, it must be harder to maintain this sort of vogue identity when there s so much fucking happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re doing every category all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, how do you maintain a strong identity as a brand when you re being spread so thin?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all wear like 20 hats." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We do like 20 jobs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And look," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t get into publishing because you re like, I m gonna become rich." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You get into publishing because you re passionate about pop culture and fashion and music and whatever field you work in in publishing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s your passion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you re not passionate, you re going to hate your job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to be annoyed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to be agitated about every single thing that that s happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not an easy job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we re also not saving lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t have to take ourselves seriously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to take our job seriously because we get paid to do a job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you don t want to be here, you don t have to be here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You always have a choice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you re doing this, I mean, my parents taught me from when I was a kid, if you sign up to do something, you have to finish it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to make it work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how to explain it, but we have to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because if we don t move with this ever-changing industry, we re going to get left behind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Met Gala, it is the fashion event of the year, of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How did it get that title?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how to explain the power that Met Gala has now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most people don t realize it s a fundraiser." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a fundraiser for the museum, for the Costume Institute, which Anna is obviously heavily involved in, and its main job is to raise money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every single seat is paid for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every seat is paid for by a designer or a brand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re the ones who are bringing talent in support of the museum, so every single seat has to be paid for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Somehow it became the event to go to every single year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Usually it starts the day after the Med Gala ended." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So like, this year s Med Gala is May 6th." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On May 7th, I will get an email from Anna asking me to work on next year s event." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I may not know what the theme is, but she s going to ask me for ideas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The theme comes later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, she knows what the theme is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know what the theme is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I found out about this year s theme, I don t know, maybe six months before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything is kept under a lock and key." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the day after, she ll say, you know, I have some ideas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to hear yours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s meet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it literally takes us maybe" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a few months to brainstorm ideas, then a few more months to figure out who we want to go after for co-chairs, and then the last part of it is music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s always a surprise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is my sixth Met, I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t tell you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am like a kid in a candy store every single time I get to work on the Met." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is so much fun, even when it s like the most hard job on the planet, because there are so many details." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s a huge team, like we have a huge Vogue team working on The Met every year, and every single detail is thought of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like every single like napkin, knife, florals, arrangements, chairs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every single detail is thought about way, way, way in advance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even the way your name is written on a placement card is thought about and there s a reason for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is so fascinating to watch from the sidelines, because I m not really involved in that part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m involved in the co-chairs, I m involved in the performer, and I m involved in the last month of preparation, and I help with some of the guests." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But towards the end, once our team literally places almost everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t even tell you how many emails and phone calls we get every single day leading up to like the Met, like four months prior to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It will be like 50 to 100 requests for the Met on a daily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it kind of goes back to like, this is fashion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not saving lives here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s almost like throwing a big birthday party for, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s like planning a party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But do you get nervous when you get on that red carpet?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do get nervous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t show it, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The one thing I can say that I m good at is my poker face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, no one will ever know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not afraid of the interviews." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of the carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what s scary, because it s like, everybody puts so much effort into making you look good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now it s up to you to stand there and, like, make it come to life in the face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you get... It s like a performance, even though all you re doing is, like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "standing there like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, I think now I m not afraid anymore, maybe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe this year, I don t think I ll be afraid at all this year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, I think my heart will beat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to be afraid, but I ll be exhilarated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I m sure you ve watched enough episode of America s Next Top Model and Zoolander." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what s crazy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been so many years, and my stylist, Jared, keeps being like, Emma, you need to watch more America s Next Top Model because it ll take you to the next level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to learn how to do things with your face that you didn t even know you could do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe Zoolander." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you ever seen Zoolander?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you know what Zoolander is?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like vaguely familiar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a Ben Stiller movie about being a male model." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, it s pretty brilliant It has all these cameos from like every celebrity you can imagine Fun all these fashion designers and it s basically it s poking fun of Zoolander." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but it s absolutely brilliant And he had this look called blue steel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh-huh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you should adapt that for the Met I m gonna adapt blue still for this Matt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so that s my home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I totally see it for you" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s gonna be really, really handsome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does everything, everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m thinking of being Anna, and I m like, there s no way that she s signing off on everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On everything and on top of that she is at everything we have rehearsals with the performer we have rehearsals with dancers we have fittings we have like we go through like once we re at the Met preparing in that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "one room, everything is kind of like it gets laid out days in advance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s there to oversee it all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s literally there at 10 p.m." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "at night when we were rehearsing with a performer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I remember my first year and like my first year I literally was like, I don t know how I got here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope I don t get escorted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how I fooled people into thinking that I belong here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But like Poker Face was on 10 that time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cher was the performer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which was so, like, unreal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, this is a, like, icon and legend get thrown around about every single person nowadays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, that is a fucking legend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I remember seeing, going to see Cher the night before her rehearsal at either Barclays or MSG, she was on tour at the time, and going backstage with her publicist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like being, like it wasn t my first time meeting Cher, but it was just like, you re in such an awe of this woman, the way she talks, like she makes jokes, and the way she looks, like she s just so brilliant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I ll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We get to the rehearsal, of course, like Anna s there, Cher gets on stage, does her thing, comes off, and she was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How was it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, are you really asking me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how was it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, you literally, this is what I said to her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I go, you literally could sing the phone book and I will fucking listen and say it s the most brilliant album on the planet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care what you sing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, you on that stage is enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was there for every single rehearsal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, like, she loves being a part of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, she s raised something like half a billion dollars for the museum in her, I want to say, like, what, 25 years that she s done The Met?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s pretty fucking cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that is why it s such a special and culturally sort of significant event is because so much love goes into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there is a lot of human in it, which I think a lot of people look at something like The Met and they re like, this is just a big event." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re like a bunch of pretty people dressing up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, why do we have to pay attention to it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People are just having fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our world is so fucking dark." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, right like if this is the one time a year that everyone gets together and has fun Yeah, and you get to watch it from home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t mean anything" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s just people having a good time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like we ve all been through some shit in the last few years Yeah, like coming to the Met seeing what people are wearing like yeah, it s fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care what anyone says I have fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, and even if I wasn t there, I d still would want to see what people are wearing I would be watching you on livestream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I would be watching you and Jack Harlow on livestream Yes, no, I mean it s really" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Honestly, heartwarming to hear that it s fun, because I feel like coming into this interview, I was like, there s no way that this is fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I was expecting you to tell me, like, this is actually the worst, like, six months of my life before the Met." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I can imagine there are probably some challenging moments when preparing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, listen, of course there s gonna be challenges." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody falls out 24 hours before and you have to find a celebrity for a designer because they ran out of ideas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally pulled talent the day of the Met." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would call everybody I know and I would say, is anyone available and do they have a look that they can wear to the Met?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I remember calling someone at SNL knowing, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The entire cast is in New York." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Multiple times when somebody would fall out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would be like, can we please get so-and-so to come?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Uh-huh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, there are challenges, but like, again, we re not saving lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Placing so like my first year we got to bring so many people that have never been to the Met Like RuPaul s first time at the Met it was theme was camp Oh, who s better to come to the Met than RuPaul?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the first time RuPaul got shot for American Vogue in his 30-year career Yeah, like I love nothing more than having somebody for the first time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm-hmm It makes me as happy as it probably makes them, you know, like having a first man on the cover Yeah" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anna and I talked about that for a long time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for like a year, I was told, you know, it s a women s magazine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, you know, a guy solo, like, why would we do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let GQ do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let, you know, another brand do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we saw everything that was happening with Harry as far as his style and how he was embracing fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, it just made sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it became, I want to say like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If not the biggest probably like top three biggest of all time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep cover wise Social media clicks there were like essays written about like Harry Styles being on the cover of Oh, yeah, and whether it s positive or negative The point is that people are reacting like you don t want people to just not care Yeah, like whether it s a positive reaction or negative reaction people care about what we re doing And I m not gonna sit here and say like I take everything so seriously like this is" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am the word." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not in vogue, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I worked at Marie Claire, I gave as much passion to what I was doing there as I did at Seventeen, as I did at Women s Health and Redbook, and I do it vogue now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, again, it goes back to my mom always telling me, if you start something, you have to finish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So everything I do here, no matter how hard it is, at the end of the day," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a real office job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to work with creative people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get to put cool people in clothes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get to shoot them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get to bring them to events." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get to do videos with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get to, in some way, be a part of this pop culture train." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have to enjoy it, because if I started hating on every single thing that, in some way, agitates me or annoys me, I m gonna be a miserable fucker, and I don t wanna be that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then gummies help, too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to get home, and I have to pop a gummy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Obviously, one time I popped a gummy though, and I had a full freak out, like a little Kamino gummy, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, Kamino are my favorite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, well, don t, the Yuzu ones, I had two of them once, and went into like a 12 hour- 10 milligram or five?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I, oh, I think I took two fives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what I thought." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Full?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, maybe they were 10s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were probably 10." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Man, I had two Caminos at a Taylor Swift, and then two Caminos at Beyonce, and it was the best experience I ve ever had at a concert, ever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I literally thought I was flowing on a cloud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was incredible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, especially during Beyonce, because Renaissance is literally fucking perfection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every single song, with a gummy, you re in heaven." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With a gummy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In heaven." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god, I m so jealous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I, like, traumatized myself with the gummy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to The Met, there s a theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is very important to the event." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "However, it seems that that tends to be where the drama is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did people follow the theme?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one understands the theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, though, to a lot of brands, I think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t really want to do the theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I feel like there s this sort of, or they like, they re like, we love this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How important is the theme to Vogue?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how important is it that people follow the theme?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I feel like a lot of times the internet" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "will get mad on Vogue s behalf when people don t follow the theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because Anna approves looks somewhat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t say it s approves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, she is involved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s aware." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially with, like, our co-chairs and our performers and, you know, the people that we do have relationships with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ll ask her opinion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m sure, like, look, I m not in those conversations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t ask me about fashion because I don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know I work at a fashion magazine, but like, you re wearing a dress, amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You either look good or you don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, however, I think in my, this is my sixth year here, the only time that I saw pretty much everybody on theme was camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s easy to, like, interpret camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s somewhat fun, it s a little cheesy, it s a little over the top, and..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was an iconic year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen camp now every single year since camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, it s true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone wants to be camp now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my favorite story, okay, going back to Cher." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the night before at the rehearsals, I was like, what are you wearing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, well, I m not doing red carpet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, well, why not?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, obviously nobody knows that I m coming, that I m performing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to dress up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, well, you probably don t need to because so many people are coming as you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she goes, what do you mean so many people are coming as me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, you re Cher." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you are the definition of camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, Bob Mackie, camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, Bob Mackie is an incredible designer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a master." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, definition of camp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I think of camp, I think of Vegas, over the top, like feathers and jewelry and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah blingy like it is you are cam." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes bullshit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She literally goes bullshit Then next day I see her like she arrives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see her I go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you look at the carpet?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I did quite a few people dressed as me like literally dressed as me because that s why I changed my mind She goes I m literally gonna perform in jeans and my puffer" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cher is not in camp, but she s wearing jeans and a puffer because she saw so many, that year was literally like Jennifer Lopez came in inspired by Cher." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emily Ratajkowski came in inspired by Cher." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were literally I think like six or seven people, my brain doesn t work well clearly because of the gummies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there was so many people just to share." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just so funny to see this woman who literally is the epitome of the word." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was like, no, I m gonna let you all have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna wear jeans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was kind of amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The performers do go on the carpet or don t?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like sometimes they do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s up to them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Lizzo was the performer last year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lenny Kravitz was the performer two years ago." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was on the carpet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it depends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you want it, you can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t, you don t have to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it is kind of interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s a dinner, but... Nobody eats." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But no one eats." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Except for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am not kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first year, the first year I remember so vividly, I come in and I m starving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, I m so hungry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, we ve just been... Well, I also do the interviews, so it s like I m there for like five hours just interviewing and like whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m like..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you re making it sound like we make it work for that long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You interview for two hours, but you re around for like five." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do have to be there early." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they make me interview for 24 hours straight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, we are horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, and it s the best joy of my absolute life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, because you and Jack have this thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just have this thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That you created." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That we ve created." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You only come for Jack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, now it s like I can t leave him hanging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like if he walks up and it s not me, he s going to be heartbroken and it s going to be so sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like Billie Eilish for Vanity Fair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to get that video." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this is your fourth year hosting or third?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is my... One, two, three, four." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s the fourth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And have we had him on all three years with you or no?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last two." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so we need a third." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this will be our third." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lucky third." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to have to continue, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the third is going to be the best." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the week of the Met for you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Summarize." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh, it depends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This week I have a cover shoot literally like a few days before the Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually two cover shoots, one in LA, one in New York, and I have to go to both of them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, ouch." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like literally four days before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Leading up, I m telling you, like, it is like clockwork." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody will fall out and it will be anywhere between four to ten people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone will get sick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone s schedule will change with their production." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you either have to replace a person or figure out what to do with that seat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s always those issues to deal with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rehearsals, we always have a pre-party." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get an insane amount of emails for after parties, which we have nothing to do with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we still have to answer those questions Because you can t ignore people I literally respond to every single email well day of the Met is insane though Yeah, I usually get anywhere between 200 to like 600 text messages as people are arriving or publicist will be like so-and-so is on their way Can you look out for them?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m at the top of the stairs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will see everyone arrives Yeah, you don t have to tell me that yeah like I say hi to everyone yep" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I usually work with Lala at the top of the stairs pulling talent for all of her interviews." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m Lala s bitch for the night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a pretty cool thing to do because I know most people that come up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of them don t want to be on camera and talk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just want to go inside and have a good time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I literally have to force some people to do interviews." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It literally happens every single time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "J.Lo last year did not want to be on camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, Jennifer, you cannot not do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it took, like, good convincing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But they re always glad, I think, that they did it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Poor Nikki last year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She had a problem with her look." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh-huh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The top kept falling." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she did not want to be on camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she kept holding on to her dress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I promise you, 30 seconds." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I need." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m begging you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, I just, like, I love Nikki so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also love Cardi, so I don t want people to be like, he picks people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He picks his favorites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have favorites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have babies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are all your children." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love them all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And literally 30 seconds in front of the camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was so uncomfortable, but they do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, that s where the charming Sergio comes out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to turn that on because." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be quite the asshole sometimes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So maybe you fit into Devil Wears Prada." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m kidding, you don t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the September issue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you ever see that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, it s the most brilliant documentary about making of a September issue for Vogue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh!" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From like many, many years ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was gonna say, I might have seen that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think like 15 years ago?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but maybe I watched half of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s insane." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know about the significance of the September issue until, I don t know, like three, like, you know, it s, it is interesting how it s like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, September and March are considered like the fashion issues." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You always want to have someone" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "super cool or someone with a big project or a big supermodel and it s, you know, it s the thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have how long until the Met?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you feeling now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How are you sleeping now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you like, is life pretty normal for now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s a little stressful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s already getting stressful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because now is when I start to get frantic phone calls from people who have not gotten in yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, hey, can you help us in any way?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not in those conversations." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t talk to designers." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t convince them to bring talent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I become the middleman between talent and our Met Gala team." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, yeah, I feel like a lot of people listening are probably like, how do you even get invited?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you get invited?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mostly it s relationships, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like a brand has relationships with talent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just like we know who s right for our cover and who s right for our videos and what people we want to put a spotlight on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Brands have their people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are the people they want to take to the Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They will check on their availability before they go out to anyone else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you have a relationship with the brand, that s the best way to go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s the kicker." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody ever knows which designers are coming to the Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So publicists will literally go to like 50 brands to see who s coming to the Met that year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And typically it s not like..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every year, different brands are like, we re gonna make this investment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone always says, well they ve been before, why can t they come back?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not about that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course they can come back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If a brand wants to bring you, absolutely fine by us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, we also want to bring in different people every year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to have the same group of people every single time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even Rihanna doesn t want to come every single year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beyonce doesn t want to come every single year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because you ve been before doesn t mean that you have to come every single year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to have a different crowd." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You want to vary it and let room for new people to circle in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you think about it, it s not that big a room." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like 425 seats, maybe 450 seats, depending on a year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think before I started, they met with something like 600, 700 people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has gone down significantly because that room is just so packed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody wants to get in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s like a little secret, like a little Met Gala secret or a little Met Gala fact that you feel like people don t know that would be interesting to them?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "how much I have to fight to get certain people in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially performer, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because so many people have ideas." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we have a director." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always going to be like a brilliant director attached to The Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people probably don t know, but Baz Luhrmann has an amazing, like this long standing relationship with Anna and Baz works on The Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Baz is like a brilliant film director." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He always has a vision." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the last few years, like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a group of people that decide on who the performer is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and you literally have to do you know a song and dance Yeah, thank God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a voice because like that entire room would be running but I do have a way of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somehow convincing our team that we should lean a certain way That s probably the hardest part every single year like co-chairs are easy because it s all Anna Yeah, the performer like most people like there s like a group of people and everyone has their own opinion Yeah, I don t know if that answers your question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not that s a great fact It s sort of like there s different ideas and a lot of different voices and a lot of different whatever and it s like when it comes to making certain decisions" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that everyone has their own kind of idea, agenda, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, oh, I love this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think this would be so good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it s trying to find the best option." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best fit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what it really comes down to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s all it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so excited for this year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you excited?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you- Have you figured out what you re wearing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I- Okay, it s- Have you had fittings?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve had one fitting, and we did sketches." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve had about two or three calls, and it s happening, and it s the most on theme I ve ever been, which I know you don t care about as much, but it s- No, I love seeing people on theme." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This one s really on theme, which I m stoked about, because I feel like in the past, it s maybe not ended up being as on theme." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been great, and I love it, but I m like, this is not-" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Quite on theme as much as I want to be like I want to be on Theme I mean look it s hard to get there though." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh great theme this year though this year s theme is truly like The most famous line from devil wears Prada right like florals for spring groundbreaking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like it s the only time you can literally use that as" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The theme for the Met yeah, and I don t think anyone like I I think people are either really thinking that it s florals for spring Which it really isn t yeah like the from what I understand." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my interpretation Yeah, the exhibit features all these like incredible gowns and dresses that have been locked away for many years yep, and They re being reawakened." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yes, sleeping beauty, florals in some way, but it s about rebirth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about, you know, florals to spring." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think when you re somebody who s into fashion, you re like, this is a great little challenge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sort of puts, it changes what you re able to do in a fun way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I feel like you have really grown so much as a," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Livestream host." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t live stream like you a part of a live stream." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a part of live stream Yeah, I ve stream host but you have grown so much because I remember that first year and how nervous you were." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh Like you were you were freaking out I was freaking out also no no It wasn t bad because you actually did a really great job with all of your interviews Except for the most important one who with Anna you oh you had an interview with Anna" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t realize never got posted it was what happens really the microphone wasn t quite working um Is that the excuse?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it was kind of me not knowing how to use the microphone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, I was like Having a hard time like switching it back and forth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s before we miked me and then I could just hold the mic like this Which we figured out we did that immediately after because we were like I can t because people just don t talk like that Like I m not used to this even when you re like Ryan Seacrest." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you needed the two mics or" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it was just not right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So anyway, so that was that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We fixed that immediately after and then everything became way better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I was like, she is going to never have me back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I was certain of it after that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I couldn t have blamed her because, you know, I mean, in such a... She was the first one of the day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The very first one." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, yeah, because she s the first one to arrive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s always the first one to arrive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it was like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was basically doomed, but she, you know what, she was patient with me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, most people have a very wrong idea of Anna and how she is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, she s- Anna corrects jokes in meetings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anna is fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anna has brilliant comebacks when you say something funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had incredible experiences over my career with so many really smart, brilliant people who have taught me so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single day I leave here, I feel like I ve accomplished something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is not bullshit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t stay at jobs that I don t need that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to stay in I don t have that fixation on like what will I do without this like I literally come from nothing We came to this country with two pieces of luggage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm-hmm." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if somebody takes all of this away tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I ll be fine I ll start all over again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, however, I do appreciate like I am the first person who was gonna be Incredibly grateful for every opportunity that comes my way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to work with someone who literally changed the face of this industry Yeah" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to learn from this person every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to walk into that office every day and have any conversation I want with her and she will listen because we ve established a relationship now where I contribute to what she s doing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am of help and I ve proven myself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would think that I ve proven myself in almost six years of working here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like I" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "greatly appreciate every single thing she brings to the table, whether I agree with my boss or not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the day, she has been doing this much longer than I have." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the most part, she knows better than I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This job is about challenges." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like she challenges me, and I hope that in some way I challenge her yeah when she does not Know someone and it s my job to make her and the rest of our team See why this person is important to cover why this person is important to come to the med why this person is important for a feature or a cover story or a video and" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate working here because I work on a level that everyone else wants to work on as far as this brand, because I come from six other brands." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been here, I ve worked at so many other companies, and we always talked about what this brand does." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I am grateful for this opportunity, and I work my ass off because I actually enjoy seeing the fruits of my labor." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like her work ethic is unlike anything I ve ever heard about in my life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll get an email at like 5.30 in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mind you, I m not awake at 5.30 in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I look at my emails in the morning, I m like, oh, 5.30 a.m." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t understand how she does it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she s here every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She comes in in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She leaves in the evening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always available." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She responds to every single email I send." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like... She s somehow at every fashion show, too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how she does it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every fashion show, every big event, she..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She cares about this brand, so if my boss cares and my boss has a lot more on her plate than I do, then I certainly have to step up every single time I come into the building or I get to work on any event with her." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just got to work on the Biden campaign on this massive fundraiser, the biggest fundraiser in history at Radio City Music Hall." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you would have told me as a 12-year-old kid that I m going to be working" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on this mega presidential campaign with Clinton, Obama, and Biden, with all these performers, I would have laughed in your face because it is so outside of what I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I get to work on this because of Anna." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at the end of the day, I have to admire and appreciate and be grateful for these opportunities." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And The Met is one of them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to watch it like literally every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean every single day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single year." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to be able to work on here on the Met every year now is pretty fucking cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So fucking cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we done?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you not going to sing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I guess, you know what, I m gonna sing at the Met." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m gonna sing at the Met." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amazing, you re the performer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is my big announcement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am the performer, so I m putting out my first album." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s similar to Adele, just a little bit different." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I feel like we re good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was, like, incredible." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,816
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hello, and welcome back to a series I have here on Anything Goes called Trendy or Timeless, where I take current fashion trends that are happening in the zeitgeist, and I figure out whether they are a trend, something that will be cringy to us in six months to a year, or if these trends are actually timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in 50 years, we ll look back at these trends and say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was chic then, and it s still chic now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "let s waste absolutely no time and get right into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, starting with piercings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a trend for a couple years now to have a lot of piercings, whether it s a nose ring, or it s a septum ring, or it s a bunch of ear piercings covering the entire ear, or it s a belly button piercing, which just recently came back into style because that was not" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "cool for a little bit there and then it very quickly came back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Piercings in general." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not talking about simply having your ears pierced, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about fashion choices with piercings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the whole ear being covered in piercings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the nose ring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the septum ring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the belly button piercing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fashion choices." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like simply having your ears pierced is very standard, like most people have that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not really a trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Arguably, that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s when piercings are taken to a next level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s what we re discussing here today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, I thought piercings were timeless, for the most part." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you could stack up your whole ear, you can get a nose ring, you know, you can get a belly button ring, and it s timeless to have the piercing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is trendy is the type of jewelry that s in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s still true, but I think I ve actually come to the conclusion" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that piercings are trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all sort of fashion piercings are trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nose ring, belly button, stacking up the whole ear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t think it matters what type of jewelry that you have in there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s always trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that s sort of what s shifted in the last few months for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, before I used to think it didn t matter how many piercings you had or where they were, it was more about the jewelry that was in them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a simple little gold hoop or a simple little diamond stud is timeless, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter if you have 10 piercings in the ear, if they re all timeless jewelry that s simple, like I just described, you can t really go wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the stuff that s loud and extreme that s more trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, having a big dangling butterfly out of your belly button." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a little hoop in your belly button?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still think that that is true, that the type of jewelry impacts how trendy the piercing is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I m starting to think that piercings in general are kind of trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I recently decided to take my nose ring out, and I had my nose ring for years, like since I was 17, and I m 22 now, so that s five years of my little nose ring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always had a little hoop in there, a simple little hoop, nothing wild." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember my dad told me, he was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re not going to want to wear that for the rest of your life. " }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I ll be wearing my nose ring until I m like a parent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like 50." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was like, maybe, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we ll see." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think we were discussing a long time ago whether or not, you know, a nose ring was trendy or timeless, basically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ultimately think he s right because I had a photo shoot and they asked me to take the nose ring out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, okay, I hadn t taken it out in so long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I forgot what I looked like without it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I took it out and I was like, I like this better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just like this better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at this photo shoot as well, they asked me to take out" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all of my earrings, basically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had, like, I have four holes on each ear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to have more, but they all closed up and got infected." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really, like, just absolutely pus everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So infected." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was very unfortunate for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they also had me take out all my earrings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I basically had no jewelry on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was looking at myself for the first time with absolutely no jewelry in my face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I really like this better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ended up just putting back in my main earring, like in my main hole, and something in my second hole." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, this is just so much cleaner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not really drawing too much attention, but it still, you know, sort of frames the face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I don t think I m actually gonna fill those extra four holes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think I m just gonna leave those empty, and I think I m gonna leave the nose ring out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think I like the simpler look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I might be going through a phase where I m just craving the bare minimum, and that could simply be it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, I m not so sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do think that piercings are trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the good thing about piercings is that you can take them out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of a safe, trendy thing to have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I do have a hole in my nose that you can see." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Looks like I have a really big pore on my nose from where the nose piercing was, and that s kind of unfortunate, but it s ultimately gone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I bet that hole will get smaller over the years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a low risk trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you are altering your body, but it s low risk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like getting tattoos, which are also often very trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s higher risk trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s safe to play around with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think there s any harm in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do, though, think that they re trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I think very simple, very understated piercings are ultimately timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, like, when I think about, let s say, 2005, when people had, like, tongue piercings and lip piercings and eyebrow piercings, like, that s not cool right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not trendy right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is simply proof that piercings come and go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as trends, even belly button rings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, they re back in now, but they were out for like five to 10 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were in in the early 2000s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when the whole like Y2K thing started happening again, everybody loved the belly button piercing again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really think that the only timeless piercing that you can really rely on is just like a piercing on the lobe of the ear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that the rest will come and go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s not to say that I don t like them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I loved my nose ring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a period of time where I wanted a belly button piercing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted a really simple belly button piercing with just a little ring in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But unfortunately, they told me I didn t have the right anatomy for it, which was unfortunate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I never got it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not that they re not cute, but I just don t think that they re timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that you will ultimately want to take them out at some point, either because you grow out of it or because it s not cool anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or because it s hard to maintain like having 50 earrings in your ears or having a nose piercing it s like they fall out they get infected sometimes they get irritated sometimes like it s not a convenient thing to have always you know they can be uncomfortable anything that s like uncomfortable or inconvenient is usually going to be trendy because it just can t stand the test of time like people don t want to put up with it for that long" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see what happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was a weird epiphany for me because I was convinced I was going to have my nose ringing for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I m kind of like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really that into it anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have huge goggle like glasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like almost like a shield, like any like very large goggle-esque sort of glass or shield like glass that covers like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "eyebrow to like pretty much the bottom of the nose like you know I m like these big frames right it s funny because what was really trendy I don t know three years ago was like the super actually maybe even five years ago now the super teeny tiny glasses right and now we ve gone in the opposite direction where the huge goggle like glasses are in" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think majority of these are trendy, however, I love a big goggle-esque sort of glass." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the ones that are more like a shield are more trendy to me, just because they re very, I don t know, they re sort of faux futuristic in a way, they re kind of race car driver in a way, and they re just not versatile enough maybe to be, you know what, no, hold on," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think huge goggle-esque glasses, I actually think that they might be timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it depends on how goofy they look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there are some that are so goofy that it s like, these are obviously trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that there actually are some that are timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m thinking of like a huge, like, 60s goggle mod pair of glasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think those can be timeless, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even like a shield sort of glass, you know what, if they re not super reflective, maybe like they re all black and more simple, I actually think that that could be sort of timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m conflicted on this one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m conflicted on this one because I might just like them so much that I want them to be timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I kind of have skin in the game with this one because I actually really love" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "love a big pair of sunglasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because like five years ago when the tiny little mini teeny little glasses were in, I probably would have said that those are timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And looking back, they re so clearly not, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the super, super tiny glasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ended up sort of leveling out at like a slightly larger, less extreme sort of tiny pair of glasses that I do think are ultimately timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but they re not as extreme as the ones that were trending like five years ago, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the same thing is going to happen with the big sort of goggle shield big glasses where we re going to end up leveling out at a point where all the really extreme ones are going to just go out of style and then we ll be left with something that s a little bit more wearable and that will remain as being timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love them though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of glasses are timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it actually comes down to like the materials that are used." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, let me explain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, a pair of sunglasses that are like a classic aviator shape, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s pretty timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can t really argue that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the shape itself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, if the lenses are like reflective, like rainbow, like monochromatic, like the chromatic sort of like rainbow, bright, flashy lenses, now it s trendy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the lenses were just black, they d be timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same thing with like, if you were to take a small little pair of glasses, like a teeny tiny little 90s pair of glasses, like what was trendy five years ago," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those with blue lenses, like bright blue lenses, that s trendy because it s flashy and it s loud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those with black lenses, that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I actually think with glasses, it comes down to the details." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why this one was so tough for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because like a big pair of goggle glasses that are like all black," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If like the lens is ombre brown and then like, I don t know, it s like trying to be ultra 70s or something in a way that s almost costume-esque, now that s trendy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, moving on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to move on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have boxers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been seeing a lot of boxers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been going on for a while now, but I ve been seeing like a lot of people wearing boxers as pants, you know, like wearing a cute little tank top with a pair of, I don t know, usually blue boxers with stripes and stuff on them and the little buttons on the front, maybe like a little white scrunchie sock and like a Birkenstock, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like a summer outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That started, honestly, maybe two summers ago now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been seeing that for a while, but a new advancement is seeing boxers, like, poking out of pants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, you ll have a baggy jean with the boxers poking out, specifically on people who normally wouldn t wear boxers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, obviously, dudes have been wearing boxers and having the boxers poke out of the pants for God knows how long, but we re seeing it with girls as well who aren t normally wearing boxers, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually weirdly kind of feel like the boxers are... No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I think the boxers as pants, like as shorts, I think that that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t imagine looking back at that later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just like such a classic" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a classic pattern for one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like they re always in these classic patterns." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in pale blues and whites and plaids and like very timeless patterns that will never go out of style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, the way that like the details on them, the little buttons and stuff," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re pretty understated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they re timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though I don t recall ever seeing like people wearing boxers as pants, like maybe shorts that are sort of similar, but never like a classic, almost like men s underwear boxer as pants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve not necessarily seen that in like old magazines necessarily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it exists and I just haven t seen it and I m being dumb right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m sorry if that s the case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t seen that before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it seems somewhat new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think we re going to cringe at that later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My only issue with the boxer trend is that it s very hard to make them flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s hard to find a pair that flatters the butt and, like, looks good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they ll look good from the front." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen people talk about this on Instagram Reels, actually, like, talking about this trend and how it s, like, hard to make it flattering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always thought that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the only one, though, apparently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just they always look bad from the back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s the only thing about them that I think is challenging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s cute and I think it s timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, having them poking out of the pants, that I think is trendy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think it s cute?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I actually do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s cute and I like it, but I think we will look back on that and think it s a little goofy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of me wants to say that we won t because, again, like going back to what I said about the boxer, like they re so classic and, you know, they re ultimately underwear and it s like underwear is obviously timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say, like, I think that the boxers poking out of the jeans and stuff is way more timeless than the trend of having like exposed underwear straps." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, the trend of wearing low-waisted pants and then wearing like a high-waisted, not a high-waisted," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a thong of sorts or underwear of sorts, usually a thong, that has a really high string waistband, so then it s exposed on the hip, like it comes up over the hip and you can see it, it s visible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s been very trendy over the last few years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not timeless, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cute, it s fun, but I do think that we re going to cringe at that later a bit more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because it s such a specific sort of style and aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a bit edgy, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, to be showing your underwear, like having your thong like popping out of your pants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more edgy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think stuff that s edgy tends to not be timeless because, I don t know, I think people go through phases of wanting to be edgy, wanting to rebel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like that s a trend that s like ultimately comfortable either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve tried it before, like trying to have like, you know, the exposed, like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whatever, it s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re pulling the straps up on the hip, like trying to keep them exposed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s not convenient." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very trendy to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The boxer, less trendy, but still a trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think anytime underwear is exposed or like bra is exposed, like anytime, oh, bra straps even showing, that s another trend right now too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bra straps, thong showing, all of this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s fun, but I do not think it s timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that that will come in and out of style for years to come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just depending on what the general mood of people in the zeitgeist, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are people in a rebellious mood?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, then they re going to start showing bra straps, and they re going to start showing underwear straps." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because those are like, it s one thing to have, like, your underwear sticking out on accident, like, that happens to all of us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s another thing, like, have a bra strap sticking out on accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s another thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, that just happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making a conscious effort to like have your bra showing or to like have your underwear strap showing it s different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s too Inconvenient and it s it s almost too sort of rebellious to be timeless I feel like I sound like a grandmother But I m not because I m not saying that I I don t like it or I don t think it can be fun Like I fucking get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get the vibe" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, it s, there s something about it that because it s so, it s such a statement and it s such a choice, I think that it becomes stale quickly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it loses its, it loses its allure when too many people are doing it, when it becomes overdone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then it needs to go into retirement for a bit because actually, do you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just made me realize something about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why that s a fun trend is because it s rebellious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s why it s fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why it s cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why it s cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when it sort of loses its edge because it s a trend and everyone s doing it," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just kind of becomes boring and everyone stops doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then eventually it comes back in again because it went out of the zeitgeist for a minute and then it s like, oh, you know, and then when it comes back, it s like, whoa, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All this to say, I think the boxers are a little different because I think that they re like less of a statement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It almost feels more like layering to me because it s not really edgy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually think the boxers poking out of the pants might be timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going back and forth on this one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because my gut is saying that it s trendy, but my brain is telling me that it s actually kind of timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m conflicted on that one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will all have to let me know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have mini shorts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been seeing a lot of mini shorts coming back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I sort of forgot about the mini short in a way, not because they weren t being worn, because I think that they are ultimately timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I mean, mini shorts, like a mini short short, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a broad umbrella, like what a wide umbrella that is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many different types of, of mini shorts, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s always going to be some that are trendy, but there s also always going to be some that are timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I forgot about them because for the last few summers, I feel like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s been more trendy to wear a longer short and so I was so focused on that that I wasn t even thinking about the mini short." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think many shorts can go either way, but I think, I don t know, there s a fine line between trendy or timeless with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I think of trendy short shorts, I think of, you know, a pair of super overly distressed, like, Daisy Duke-esque sort of denim shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those, to me, are trendy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of a pair of short shorts that have a bunch of bedazzling on them, or they re like super early 2000s, like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like true religion cutoffs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they can sort of go tacky quickly, which again, can be fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that can be totally fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, we can cringe at that later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas like a cute little, let s say like a red pair of like board short looking short shorts, like with a cute little white waistband, like something classic like that, that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A pair of denim cutoffs that are short," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but not overly distressed like just a classic pair of denim nothing too crazy about them right just like simple classic denim mid waist jean shorts that s timeless like a little pair of plaid shorts timeless" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little pair of like white cottony, maybe even linen-y sort of like short shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that all of those are timeless, but I think anything that s too stylized is just simply going to be trendy because the silhouette already, it can go trendy very quickly just by nature." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have, I m gonna have to describe this, and I hope that you ll follow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Open front sleeve tops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So imagine like a top, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s imagine this, let s close our eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A long sleeve shirt, except the only thing that exists are the sleeves, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, there s nothing covering the boobs or the abdomen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just like a shirt" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that only covers the arms, and a lot of times it goes over the head, but it s very small." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just say this, if you were to put one of these on by themselves, you would be showing all of your boobs and all of your stomach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d be completely exposed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a layering piece, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve actually worn one before, I think, on my Instagram." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a sweater that fell into this category." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These, to me, are trendy because they re so pointless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been saying this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always say this about things that are ultimately pointless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I said this about the double belt trend, like wearing two belts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like that will not stand the test of time because it s not serving a purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think things that serve a purpose are almost always timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it s just very unnecessary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times, okay, a lot of times you ll be wearing like a tank top and then you ll put one of these sort of frontless long sleeve tops over it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, well, just wear a long sleeve shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve worn them before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be cute for layering and it can add dimension." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like that element of it, but it is ultimately pointless, which is why I think it is just simply a trend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have intense sort of acid washed denim." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about like the acid wash that we know from the 80s where it s like a super light pair of denim with this sort of like electric white sort of acid wash on them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about that acid wash." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know how to describe these." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The sort of more modern like extreme denim wash seems to be more of this like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dirty orange like almost grease stained looking wash on denim it s kind of has sort of like an acid it almost looks like bleach was thrown on a pair of like pants and it sat for like one minute and it didn t all the way go through but it kind of left like a weird orangey greasy feel to them i can t explain it i was talking about this with someone the other day because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently got rid of so many pairs of jeans because majority of them did not fit me anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ended up with almost no jeans, which was crazy because I literally was like a denim collector when I was younger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like kind of wild how many I got rid of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was time to go out and get new jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was looking online trying to see like, OK, are there any brands that are selling jeans that, you know, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I considered buying a few pairs of jeans new." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I usually buy vintage jeans, but those can be challenging sometimes because it s hard to find ones that fit properly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, sometimes they don t have the best" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "structural integrity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like sometimes you ll find a pair that fits, but then like six months later they rip in the ass or something because they ve been worn for so many years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s pros and cons, mainly pros, but some cons to having only vintage denim." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was like, you know what, maybe I ll go and buy some new jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like instead of going on that hunt for the vintage pairs that are good, maybe I ll buy some new pairs and like have them forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that was kind of the vibe, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was looking around and I was like, all of these washes on the jeans are so trendy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re not timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you want a pair of jeans that already look sort of worn in," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they don t have it down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the only way to get that look in a way that doesn t look trendy is by buying old jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, it can look too manufactured and it looks trendy because I think anytime anything is fake, it s bound to be a little trendy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like another example would be a t-shirt that has a bunch of rips in it, sort of simulating like a worn in t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it s a bit you know it s clearly manufactured it s clearly a new shirt that has rips put in it by the brand okay you can tell when a shirt is genuinely vintage and like worn in and has holes in it or if it s a shirt from a store that has rips put in it by Urban Outfitters you see what I m saying that will always be trendy like when there s an illusion happening of like something being worn in or something happening naturally like it s mimicking vintage clothing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for whatever reason, which is shocking to me because I feel like we have so much technology today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m shocked that they re not sort of replicating the look of something being super worn in better because they re not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like jeans that are supposed to look worn in, it looks fake worn in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s actually a style on its own." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not timeless to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s, it s not timeless to me because it s not real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about that that I think" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "will not stand the test of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas like going and getting vintage jeans that are actually just worn in, I do think that that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can tell that they re authentically worn in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same thing with like, you know, if you want a cool ripped up t-shirt, you can find a trillion of those in the thrift store." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it actually looks authentically ripped up, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so going back to this sort of intense acid washed sort of oily, greasy looking denim," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of mimicking distressed genes, but it s not really distressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s faux distressed, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It falls into that category, but in an even more extreme way where it s like something that I don t even think could happen in nature." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even think they re like trying to mimic something that would happen in nature." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more just a way of treating the denim." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only denim that s timeless is the classic colors like blue jeans, black jeans, white jeans, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or those in various forms of natural distressing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I almost think" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best way to go is just to buy either pre-distressed jeans, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want something like fully, truly timeless, buy them pre-distressed if you want a distressed look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or buy a bunch of pairs new and just wear them like every day and wear them in yourself and get them dirty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "paint in them and go hiking in them and do all this shit and break them down yourself, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To get that sort of more distressed, stylized look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s sort of cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I gonna do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m going to hunt for the pre-distressed ones because I m lazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that that s the only form of timeless denim." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think, though, that different sort of intense washes of jeans can be cool?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I ve worn these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they re fun, but I m already starting to sort of cringe at them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s already starting to just look kind of stale to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so there we go okay next we have track pants and track shorts there s sort of a lot of sporty stuff going on more than just track pants and track shorts however they re the most popular things that i m seeing like sort of just like a classic adidas or nike simple pair of track pants like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "straight leg, usually in classic colors like black, blue, red, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna go ahead and call these timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that these are timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of reminds me of a pleated skirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the pleated skirt feels very tennis, very schoolgirl, school uniform vibe, preppy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be styled in ways that are trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that it s ultimately a closet staple because it s so versatile and it can be mixed and matched in so many ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think, OK, imagine a pair of track pants or track shorts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with a white tank top and like a pair of sneakers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we ever going to look back at that and cringe?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine a simple pleated skirt with like a little cute crew neck sweater, a scrunchie little sock, and a sneaker." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we ever going to cringe at that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, I doubt it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I doubt it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it is sort of timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is making me realize a good way to test if something s trendy or timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you were to pair a certain trend with an otherwise simple outfit, what would happen?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take track pants, for example, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used the white tank top and simple little sneaker as an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The track pants just fit into that simple outfit so well, and you know that if you look back on that later, it fits in very well with a simple outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels classic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take something like intense acid-washed denim, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pair that with a white t-shirt and boots, let s say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a loud piece of clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so extreme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that that pair of pants overpowers the simple outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t just seamlessly blend into the simple outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That to me is a sign of trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be, let s say a pair of leopard print pants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like it overshadows the simple outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Therefore, I think that makes it trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure that that s" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a great test 100% of the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, the patent on that is pending." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fully proved yet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we haven t done enough studies on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m bringing this to the scientists at Stanford University." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to get back to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that that might be a good test." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll try it a few more times and see how it stands up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "see how it holds up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m going to go ahead and say track pants and track shorts are timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m seeing them paired in more trendy ways, like people are wearing them with little ballet flats, which is definitely a trend, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sort of combination is unusual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something new." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s definitely trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think as individual pieces, they re timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have classic authentic camo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about camo like the blocky like camo that you see on a third grader s backpack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like hunting camo, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the camo that like people who go hunting wear, where it has like a bunch of branches on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m talking about that camo?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s been very trendy recently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that all camo is trendy because it s a pattern that was created ultimately for a certain function." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like camo was created to help people who like hunting to hide in the woods better" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from prey that they want to shoot, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or in the army or, you know, whatever, people were wearing camo to blend in to their surroundings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think because they serve a specific purpose for specific people who are doing specific things, I also think because it s rooted in, like, violent activity for the most part," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I don t necessarily see it being a timeless thing as a fashion statement." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, obviously camo s gonna be timeless for people who enjoy hunting, or obviously there s no fashion trends for people who are in the army." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re wearing that for function simply." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s a different thing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for, you know, people frolicking around New York City, like, wearing a camo long-sleeve shirt, they re not hunting and they re not in the army, I ll tell you that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So because it ultimately has a function and it s not being used for that function, and because it s rooted in violent activity, I think at a certain point people will be like, wait a minute, why are we wearing camo?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a little weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I could see that happening as like a unit, like as a whole, people will be like, wait, this is kind of weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, why are we wearing this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this isn t for us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not a hunter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t hunt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I wearing this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only thing that makes me think it could be timeless is that there is sort of a surplus, I feel like, of camo things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All different types of camo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel like every time I m at a thrift store, I see so much camo shit, which makes me think it is kind of good and cool that it s a trend because it s like, you know, we re buying those things from the thrift store and putting them to use, which is cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the reasons that I stated, I think it s trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I have anything camo?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember camo was really like the classic like blocky camo that, again, you see on a third grader s backpack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so trendy in like 2016." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody had those like bright colored camo pants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really hope you remember those." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t, maybe consider yourself lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was super trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that came and went so fast, like in a year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for a while there, people were really put off camo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, no one was wearing camo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would not see it around, because it had such a moment, and then it really just didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then camo sort of came back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s coming back now, but it s more classic camos." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We will see what happens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, we have lace." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been seeing so much lace." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like lace was not having a moment for a while there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s definitely back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do think that lace is timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there are ways that it s used that are not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I saw, I was gathering my items for this video and I saw this pair of pants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like a yoga pant, almost like a flared yoga pant with like a lace waistband." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "those being popular in like 2000 what I don t know six probably I can t even remember and it s back that is so trendy you know like it s kind of kitschy it s kind of extra I think lace in that way is trendy but lace in like a corset like a like a lace corset or like I don t know like lace tights or for layering and stuff or" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it also depends on the color of lace." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think black lace, white lace, beige lace, like even red lace, like very classic colors, timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the specific pair of pants that I was just talking about, the yoga pants, it was bright neon pink lace, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything neon pink, anything neon colored ever is trendy, period." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say nothing further in my opinion, very trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think lace as a whole is timeless though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s in like a neon color, yeah, that s trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do think lace is just so classic, and it also is so beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it is very beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it s used in a way that s classic and cool and sort of understated, wow, it can be so incredible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m into it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m into it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that it is timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it s done right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been around for so long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, lace has been around for so long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when something has stood the test of time for that long, and it has come up over and over and over and over again for that long, it has to be timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, this is the trendiest one of the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I can t believe that these are back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m absolutely shaking in my boots, literally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Heeled sneakers, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These were trendy for about three minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Back in the day, I don t even remember when." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it was a fever dream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot remember when it happened." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sneakers with a heel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Converse with a heel, Skechers with a heel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, literally looks like a sneaker, but it has a heel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are so trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re back in right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m seeing them everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am seeing them everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am, I m speechless to see these back again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really thought that these were going to be a one month wonder in like 2007 or whenever they were happening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, they re back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re totally back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like they ve been back now for quite a few months and they re not going away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They haven t really hit mainstream though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not like full mainstream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I m seeing them, and it is shocking to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually, I ultimately do not like them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I hate them, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen people style them cute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not a full hater." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t hate the people wearing them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate them, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I actually respect their bravery, and they re being, you know, they re exploring, and they re making it work, and it s kind of impressive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to the people who are wearing them, fuck yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t listen to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep pushing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will never wear them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But these will be gone tomorrow again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can guarantee you that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too goofy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too silly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wonder if heels like high heels will ever go out of style like altogether." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too classic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wonder if there ll ever be a phase where like, I don t know, like the heel goes out of style." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t know what would replace it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are just timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there ll never be nothing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what would replace them, what would take their place." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m just saying this because I want them to go out of style and I want" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "nobody to wear them anymore because then I don t wear them either." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I just shouldn t wear them now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, okay, next we have mid to low-waisted pants with a flare at the bottom, like a little bootcut sort of flare." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a very popular pant silhouette right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have, I believe, one pair of pants like this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually think that this silhouette is timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think, like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless they re too low-waisted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re too low-waisted, then they re trendy, because I think anything that s super low-waisted or super high-waisted, like those types of extremes, trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if they re like a mid-to-low waist, you know, and they re in like a simple color, and the design is not too overwhelming, I think that s a timeless silhouette." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that wasn t necessarily in for a minute." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I don t think that they re ever out all the way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a full-on, like, 70s, like, flared pant, like, flare, where it s, like, flared out really wide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, like, bell-bottom." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s flare, flare, flare." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, too extreme." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, that has a moment every once in a while, and then it is gone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, those are not trendy right now, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, like, a little, cute, minor boot-cut flare," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s always in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s cute and it s feminine and it s fun and like, and it s versatile." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think for the most part, those are never going out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it depends on the color and the pattern and the material." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that all comes into play." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think the silhouette is timeless, but I think when it comes to individual pieces, it depends on the actual fabrics and color choices and things like that that are made, but overall timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, wide belts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like a wide belt, like three inches wide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of times you ll see them over a mini skirt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve even seen them worn as tops, sometimes over like a dress, maybe like lower on the hip." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really wide belt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think with accessories, it really comes down to styling, whether or not it s timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you have a really thick, simple belt, like I m thinking of this really thick red leather belt, like it s wide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like probably two or three inches wide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it probably is like three inches wide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has like a big, you know, silver buckle on it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some reason, that feels timeless to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas I think about maybe a really big belt with a bunch of studs on it or something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s obviously not timeless to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they can be timeless, depending on how they re styled, so what you pair them with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also, again, what s the design like?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going on with the design?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like is it something simple like a red with a silver buckle that s sort of just classic colors, simple, whatever?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it something with studs on it and like charms hanging off of it and shit and it s like crazy?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna lean on big extreme belts being trendy because I think for the most part they are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that they can be timeless if they re styled properly and they re the right, you know, like color scheme and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then again, like a big belt is so like unusable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not even really using it for anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it s not holding your pants up like the belt intended." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe it is just trendy because again, anything that s not really serving a purpose and it s sort of just." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "slapped on there is sort of doomed to be trendy, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe it is just trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just say 80% trendy for that one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have tacky shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, purposely tacky shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "t-shirts that have like a bunch of rhinestones on them and like super like early 2000s like have a bunch of rhinestones on them will have like sometimes like a cross on it or like a quote on it or whatever and and people buy these things I used to buy them too because they re tacky like it was on purpose it was like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The point of this is that it s, like, early 2000s tacky, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There ll be, like, frayed denim with, like, rhinestones on it, like, hats that, I don t know, have, like, a crown on them and, like, a bunch of, like, rhinestones all over them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, purposely tacky stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By now, you know what I m gonna say, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is obviously trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s like funny though to lean into things that are silly like this every once in a while like even though these things are ultimately very trendy and will last for literally a blip of time which is why it s like yeah maybe don t go buy these things maybe go into like a gift shop and take a selfie with" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know one of these hats on or something but like this is ultimately a trend so maybe don t buy it just take a pic in it for the memory I think it is fun though that s the thing like it s a terrible idea to participate in the trend go purchase these types of things but like if your mom has like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something like that from 2005 and you want to put it on, then like hell yeah, participate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like going out of your way to participate in it, it s going to be over any minute now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s already almost over, you know, because it s so tacky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s a way to do funny tacky that I think works." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like being tacky on purpose is a trend right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you see people wearing like, people are starting to want to wear like yoga pants with the lace sort of waistband or like, you know, like a super dramatic, like big juicy couture purse." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like these things are coming back into the zeitgeist, you know, and it s fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "nostalgic and costume-esque in a way and it s fun, but it comes in fast and it goes out even faster." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to be like silly and fun, but also be timeless, my recommendation is stuff that s a bit less loud, like funny in a different way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, for example," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a really well fitted t-shirt that says something funny on it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s funny." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll never even want to get rid of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, I have this bag that has a banana." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a simple black bag, but it has like a real banana on it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it looks like it has a real banana on it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The design of it is very simple and it is a goofy thing, but I think I ll use that bag for years because it s simple and it s weirdly versatile." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can wear that bag with anything, shockingly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It goes with a lot of stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can be sort of funny and silly with your fashion without buying something that s going to be out just as fast as it came in, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, Harley Davidson." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Harley Davidson has been in for like six years now, and I think it s kind of going out now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, like, I still really like some Harley Davidson stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like the motorcycle vibe, like the motorcycle jacket, like the motorcycle t-shirts, like the old ripped up Harley t-shirts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I do actually like them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that it kind of got overdone, like I really do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want that to be timeless because Harley-Davidson is like such a classic brand." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, they ve made so much cool stuff over the years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like you can go and buy such cool vintage Harley-Davidson stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that it got overdone, and I think that it is now something that s trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think before it became a real trend and everybody was buying Harley Davidson stuff, it was timeless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I almost think this recent cycle of it becoming really trendy made it a trend because it was so overdone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m bummed, though, because I like Harley Davidson, maybe because my grandpa" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was like a motorcycle dude." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I d like he always had a Harley Davidson stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like Maybe I m emotionally attached and it s just a trend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean it kind of reminds me of like von Dutch You know, everybody was wearing von Dutch hats and stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god I m remembering an outfit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wore once I wore like a von Dutch hat and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "true religion jeans and a Harley Davidson shirt and it was like so I fucking loved it and it was and I knew it was trendy in the moment I was like this is gonna I m gonna regret this later I actually don t regret it because it was fun but so trendy like I would never wear that now that s ridiculous" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those things are trendy, too stylized." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have lots of charms on bags." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a huge trend recently to have people just clipping on a bunch of stuff onto their purse, like keychains, their keys, like little cute memories, memorabilia." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this was inspired by Jane Birkin, who basically she was the inspiration for the Birkin bag." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Birkin bag is like the most expensive purse" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sold by the brand Hermes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very sought after bag." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very popular bag, which is crazy because the starting price for them is like, I don t know, $8,000." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re very expensive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they go up to like, I don t know, I think the most expensive one is" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A few hundred thousand dollars." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, Jane Birkin used to carry around her Birkin." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She had like a black, I believe, I think it was a black Birkin, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simple, like big Birkin purse, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she had a bunch of stuff clipped onto it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember the day I saw that, I was like, that is fucking amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like personalizing" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the bag, making it her own, putting her own little memorabilia on it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she always carried that bag with that stuff on it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like building over time, like she would add more keychains and clip more things onto it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s becoming a trendy thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s definitely like manufactured, like people are now buying charms, like buying things to clip onto it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I ve been very tempted to like" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "try to find keychains and stuff, although I ve decided I m just going to wait and let them find me, because I love this so much and I ve been wanting to do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have anything to clip onto my bags right now, but I love this trend and I actually do think that this is timeless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think personalizing anything, adding pins, adding buttons, adding keychains, adding things like that, I think that that s timeless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything that feels personal, I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, I don t know, I love this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s timeless and I will hopefully participate, but I m going to let it happen naturally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and organically although I m like excited to do it so I am like trying to find keychains and cute things to clip onto my bag as soon as possible but I will let it happen naturally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay and last but not least we have tooth gems." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think similar to having a lot of piercings and stuff like that, tooth gems are very trendy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It reminds me of like when I was in I think third grade and everybody was obsessed with getting tinsel put in their hair, like shiny tinsel, so that like your hair would look shiny, like it had like glittery little pieces of tinsel in it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably lasted like two weeks or something, maybe even less." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then very quickly like that was not cool anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "third grade, that was all the rage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By like fifth, you wouldn t be caught dead, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s sort of the same thing with tooth gems, where at some point, it s just going to be like, wait, what are we doing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we can t, this is not, we re not doing this anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe it s not that extreme." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they ll, maybe now that like they re popular." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never remember tooth gems being popular before." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this is like somewhat of like a new thing as of the last, I don t know, hundred years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m wrong." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, they were popular in the 90s." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, it was a 90s trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, I didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m glad I looked it up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they will go out of style again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I do like them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they re really cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, similar to how I liked the nose ring for a while there, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m kind of over it and I can t exactly tell you why, but for some reason it s like I woke up that day and was told, hey, you need to take your nose ring out and something had shifted in me and I didn t want to put it back in at nightfall." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know why these things happen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why we decide, eh, we don t like that anymore, but we do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that will happen with the tooth gem ultimately, similarly to how we are with piercings, where it s like one day we wake up and we re like, wait, I don t like that my full ear is covered in piercings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like too much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to simplify." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, this is like too loud and like too attention grabbing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like it anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that we will feel that way about tooth gems." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I like them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I saw this one photo of this girl who had like on her forefront teeth, she had tiny silver stars on all of them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, ultimately, I want to go get that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s so cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so like fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is fun to like accessorize in areas that you normally don t get to like on your teeth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or even like on your nose, like that s why I was excited to get a nose ring." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Belly button, like all these things are exciting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like we love to accessorize ourselves and decorate ourselves in fun little ways." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think those ways that we decorate ourselves, the more extreme they are, the quicker we ll become sick of them because they re very loud." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and hard to ignore and so also like getting a tooth gem removed is not fun like I had a teeny little tooth gem on one tooth for like a few months because I got one for free at like an event actually and eventually I had to get it off because I was like okay I can t have this forever like I m kind of sick of it I need to get rid of it kind of hurt to get it taken off and maybe that was just my experience but like didn t feel great wasn t fun so not starving to go get another one" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, having to go to the dentist in extra time, I m not, I don t love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last thing I need is to go to the dentist in extra time per year to get a tooth gem removed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s already traumatic when I go, like, I don t know, what, once or twice a year?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much are you supposed to go?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and they tell me that my gums are receding and I m scared because I don t know why they re receding." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I brush too hard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t need to be told that again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It already stresses me out enough." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to take care of my gums and they just keep receding." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s genetic, I think." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t need to hear about that again any more times per year than I already do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why I will not be getting any more tooth gems anytime soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are cute, but they re also trendy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, that s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are all of my trendier, timeless things of today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s safe to say that most things are trendy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I kind of realized that today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, wow, I m being kind of harsh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everything s trendy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m realizing more and more that like very few things are timeless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s okay because it s like it is fun to participate in these trends and like I don t think that there s anything wrong with enjoying something that s trendy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I m in a phase of my life where I m like I m trying to shift the way I think about clothing and the way I think about fashion so that I m not consuming as much clothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I used to consume a lot of clothing because I wanted to keep up with the trends and I wanted, like, that was my goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s why it s valuable to be analytical of things that are happening in the zeitgeist, you know, trends that are trending, because they re enticing and they can be cute and they can be fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, we can t buy all of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shouldn t buy all of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think being analytical of the trends is important so that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making smart purchases and you don t end up with a bunch of waste that doesn t help anyone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because ultimately that s what buying like ultra trendy things is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ends up just becoming waste." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, I am not an angel there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m no saint." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I have participated in so many trends and bought so many things that I ve ultimately just gone and donated." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t want that anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just donate it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not a great, it s not a responsible way to shop." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m trying to get better about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe hopefully I can inspire you to get better about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although you re on your own journey and I m not judging you and I love you regardless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, all of that to say, let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you agree?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think some of these things are timeless?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I said they re trendy, vice versa." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can let me know on the Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, follow anythinggoes on Instagram too if you want anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And tune in to new episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you get podcasts, but videos exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my Instagram if you want and Emma Chamberlain, see what I ve been up to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check out our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com or just order straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Delish coffee, matcha, cute accessories for your little morning routine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have it all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a lot of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check that out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hey, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As always, it s a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for letting me ramble to you for the last hour about fashion." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love hanging out with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you in a few days." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot believe that I m making this episode." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really can t believe it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I deleted TikTok two or three years ago now, I truly believed in my core that I would never in a million years re-download the app." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now here I am re-downloading the app." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shocking to me, too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do feel a little bit hypocritical in a way because I made such a stink about deleting the app and damning it as as being evil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a part of me that s a little uncomfortable with the decision I ve made to go back on the app." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel maybe a little bit spineless, maybe a little bit irrational for initially" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "deleting it and damning it to hell as I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel a little bit embarrassed, I think, about sort of going back on my word, but I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might get banned next week anyway, and then it s all good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I m not on TikTok anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess no one is, but as it stands now, TikTok still exists, and I will be redownloading it on my phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I haven t redownloaded it yet, but I m going to redownload it right now, and I m going to do it with you" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "here so we can share this moment together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s on my phone again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a weird feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so let s start from the beginning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, let s discuss why I deleted TikTok in the first place, because I think it s important to go back down memory lane." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was on TikTok, I think starting in like 2019." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was initially hesitant to get on the platform because prior to it being TikTok, as we all know, it was Musical.ly, which was an app where people just lip synced to music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I personally found that cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which in retrospect is mean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, if people want to lip sync, people can lip sync." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, have fun, do whatever you want with your life and with your content." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, as a moody 19 year old, I was like, no, that s cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then Musically turned into TikTok and I was late to get on the platform because I was like, no, this is a, like, this is too cringe for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then eventually, you know, it became this," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "inevitable platform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like everybody was on TikTok, people were blowing up on TikTok, and it took on a new life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was less about lip syncing and more just about short form video content, I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ironically ended up going on TikTok and making incredibly cringey videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In 2020 when everybody was doing the dances, okay, it was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Renegade, it was like Doja Cat, Say So, Dancing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did all of those." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And wow, watching those back hurts my soul." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, that s a tough one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my entire sort of TikTok experience from say 2019 to like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2021." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember exactly when I deleted it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t really take TikTok very seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t make high quality sort of content on there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would dance a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really didn t do much on TikTok because it wasn t really creatively inspiring to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, I was only creatively inspired by long form video content, which, you know, YouTube videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I preferred to put my elbow grease into those videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, why would I put effort into TikTok?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just seems pointless to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not really inspired by it anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t even know how I would up my game on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even if I wanted to, so this is just gonna remain a casual, non-important platform for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was sort of my relationship to TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If anything, the more significant piece of my relationship to TikTok was me consuming TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I consumed TikTok far more than I created TikToks, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that very quickly became damaging for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My algorithm, I swear to fucking God, became borderline evil, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was getting videos constantly that were about me, sometimes positive and sometimes very negative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was getting a lot of toxic content that I won t go into detail, but was very promotional of beauty standards in a way that was very toxic for my brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also I was just in general addicted to the short form content." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I remember being at the gym and walking on the treadmill and just scrolling on TikTok for like 30 minutes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "laying in bed for five hours at the end of the day just watching TikToks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was wasting an insane amount of time consuming content on there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it was sort of this double evil, it seemed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, not only was the content I was being fed toxic for my consumption, but also I was consuming unhealthy amounts of it, like extremely unhealthy amounts of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it wasn t like all the content was bad, like some stuff would make me laugh, some stuff would make me think, like, there was some good shit on there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what kept me going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I eventually got to a point where I was like, this app is ruining my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m rotting my brain on here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so addicted to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the type of content that I m being fed is just negative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s negative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It went even beyond the content being mean about me or the content being about beauty standards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was negative even beyond that, whether it was fear mongering or anxiety ridden sort of stories or opinions or conspiracies, sad videos, videos of people getting hurt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, there was just, I felt like my algorithm was just feeding me" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shit constantly that was making my brain a poisonous place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s toxic on its own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think being a public figure is even more challenging, maybe in some ways, existing on these platforms, because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s just sort of open season, like people can make videos about you, comment on your shit freely, and you re gonna see it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And depending on the culture of the platform, that can get really bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the time that I was on TikTok," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The culture of TikTok seemed to be very toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it s dumb and short-sighted to make a blanket statement about a platform like that because it s so big, it s bigger than all of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like as big as the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So depending on what algorithm you have and what corner of the internet you find yourself in, it can be completely different for you than it is to the next person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very short-sighted about it in the moment and believed that my experience was the only experience to have, you know, this sort of negative experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just damned the platform to hell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I can t do this anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is actually a source of evil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I must get off of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think too, I didn t really respect the platform as a whole." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think probably because societally it was frowned upon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "social media in general is frowned upon in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like being called a TikToker was not usually a positive description of a person, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t have an air of elegance, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that made me sort of disrespect the platform in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, nah, like, I don t fuck with this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not, it s not elegant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not creative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s just like a bunch of junk food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s sort of the way I looked at it, even though I knew of TikTokers," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had seen many TikToks that were incredibly creative and incredibly cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the platform as a whole to me had a bad taste in my mouth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because of the way that societally we tend to look down upon platforms when they re developing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sort of reminds me of YouTube." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first started YouTube, being a YouTuber was not cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was starting to be cool, but it was not quite cool yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was still kind of embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was not something that was considered elevated or elegant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was very, it felt like junk food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what was more respected was to be a singer or an actress or a fashion designer, like all of these" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "jobs that are in the public eye that have history are the ones that are considered to be elevated, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas being a YouTuber, it s like, what the fuck are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not art." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not creative." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not valid entertainment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just junk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then slowly but surely, as, you know, YouTube became more of a fundamental part of our everyday lives, we all grew respect for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now being a YouTuber is not really frowned upon" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as much anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot more respect to that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the same thing s happening with TikTok where it s like, okay, well now it s such a fundamental part of our day to day lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s harder to not put it up on a pedestal in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the time that I was on TikTok a few years ago, it still was not, it was very much not a platform that had a lot of respect, I would say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "at least in my circles or in my world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that also made me sort of excited to get off of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like it was cooler to not be on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was being ahead of the curve to not be on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also think, you know, my final sort of feeling about TikTok at that time was that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very against short form content." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had built my career on YouTube, which is longer form content, you know, usually 10 minutes or longer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, short form content was like pointless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, what are you going to, what kind of story are you going to be able to tell in one minute?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you going to connect with an audience in any way in one minute?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just to me felt pointless, which I ve changed my opinion since, but that was the way that I felt at the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why I initially left." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "clusterfuck of all of these different negative opinions and feelings about TikTok." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it came at a complicated time as well because I was also struggling with my career on social media in general, I think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have been for years because I sort of had this golden era where it was easy for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was young, I was excited," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And things weren t really big yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody really knew me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was still really small." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was such a different time for me to be creating content because there wasn t as much pressure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t overthinking anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The negativity hadn t really started to roll in yet because I was still sort of under the radar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the beginning, you don t really get any hate or scrutiny or anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re able to get away with having it as a career and not getting that sort of backlash, I guess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But once you reach a certain point and you re visible enough, that inevitably comes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the second that it became really real that I was a public figure and this is something that I m doing that s working and this is real, I think it inevitably fucked with my head in" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "numerous ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, I got into this sort of content hamster wheel where it was like, I need to film everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to take pictures of everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to document everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to post as much fucking content as I possibly can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the problem with that was it was so extreme and it was so all consuming that I did not have a life outside of the internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt like I didn t have an identity outside of the internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lost myself in being a public figure in a way, and it misaligned my chakras in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, like it was not healthy for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did not have a social media life balance at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was sort of addicted to the hamster wheel in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was detrimental for me because it was slowly but surely making me really unhappy and depressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt like, well, what s the point of my life if all of it is just online?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t even have a real life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my real life?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who am I?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my real identity?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And being somebody who gets depressed, that made me kind of depressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Understandably so." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to develop this sort of nihilism that like my life doesn t exist in a way outside of the Internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My identity doesn t exist outside of the Internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without it, I don t even know what I am, who I am." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why the fuck am I even here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the point of that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get any of it to myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost feel like I was abusing myself in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not allowing myself to have anything to myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of that gave me sort of a depressive identity crisis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was a really big challenge for me for a long time, for the last few years, really." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a really challenging thing to figure out, like, how do I strike this balance that allows me to maintain a level of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sanity, I guess, you know, because I don t want to stop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also can t keep going on like this because it s not working for me psychologically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I cannot maintain this lifestyle of filming and taking photos of absolutely every single thing that I do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that as I started to grow up, I started to develop these sort of limiting beliefs about what my content on the Internet should be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of this stems from my own imposter syndrome, you know, feeling like I don t deserve the career that I have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t deserve the recognition that I have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t deserve the people who support me because I m not doing enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I like, what the fuck am I doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just talking and hanging out on the internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a doctor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not, you know, a therapist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not, what am I?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just a normal person just posting on the internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to struggle with that reality and I started to feel like, Oh, I need to be doing more than I need to make things more impactful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t make something that serves no purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In retrospect, I understand that entertainment is entertainment and having a virtual friend is incredibly powerful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I now, in retrospect, understand that I didn t need to be doing more and that that was my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting the best of me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the moment it was like, no, I need to make my videos more creative and I need to make my podcast more insightful and I need to do all of these things and I need to make my Instagram more, you know, like I need to be more creative and come up with, you know, cooler concepts for Instagram posts and things like this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to take it so seriously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it ended up sort of paralyzing me in a way where I was, I constantly felt like the content I was creating wasn t enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t creative enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t impactful enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t cool enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t inspiring enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I lost track of why I even like doing this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I like talking to people about God knows what, and it doesn t fucking matter what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I lost track of that, trying to give what I m doing more purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, if anything, ironically, that was actually giving it less purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It lost its purpose in that pursuit of trying to deepen things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ironically, it made things even less deep and it made things actually less impactful, I think, as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think that something that came with" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it becoming a reality that I m a public figure was this newfound fear of scrutiny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of this fear of cancel culture, I think, because to be a public figure is to at times be burned at the stake." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it s for decent enough reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s blown out of proportion, probably beyond what it needed to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes not, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s fair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I won t take that away from cancel culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there are moments when" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe this person isn t so good and maybe we should not, you know, be consuming content from them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fair enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes things are taken too far, and maybe somebody did make a mistake, but their punishment doesn t seem to match their offense at times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That absolutely happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes something completely fabricated, it can be completely false, and somebody can get canceled based on something that is not even real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with all things that were created for a progressive reason, a good reason, such as cancel culture, it can sometimes maybe overcorrect in a way at times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We did get to a point where that was the case in some scenarios, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that incited a lot of fear in me, not because I am hiding something, but because I started to feel like, okay, I really cannot make any mistake because anything and everything will be blown out of proportion, twisted, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the name of the game now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s less room, I think, for forgiveness now than there once was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that really fucked with my head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not complaining." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the victim of this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, like this is I m not trying to like scream and cry and call myself a victim." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just stating the facts here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was really frightening for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s still really frightening for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it prevented me from wanting to say anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to say anything because I was so afraid of like, can I make fun of myself even?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know where the line is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sort of became like my own publicist in a way where it was like, Oh, well, I can t say that because if I say that, then it ll be turned into this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, and it was irrational because it s like the things that I was, I was censoring myself to a level and I have been censoring myself to a level" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that is just unnecessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you got to say something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve been so afraid for the last few years to fully" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fully just be free and feel free because of the tense nature of the internet and the hunger for drama and for character assassination when it comes to public figures that it s just been a scary time to be on the internet for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, that s just been something that s been very overwhelming for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think last but not least, I was surrounding myself with certain people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who were not conducive to me not only being myself, but also pursuing the career that I ve worked hard to build." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I had some people around me for a period of time that number one, did not like me for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a very, you know, loud at times, not as much anymore, but still I can be loud and talkative and outgoing and silly and," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there were people around me who did not like my soul." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who were very close to me, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you have people like that very close to you in your close circle, who don t like you when you re being your truest self, it s incredibly damaging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I loved" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these people who did not like me for who I was so much that I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d rather change myself in a way and mold to fit what they want me to be instead of just saying, take what you get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or get out, you know, like you get what you get and you don t be upset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t have that mindset." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, no, I love these people so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want them to be in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and they don t like when I m really outgoing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t like when I m having fun, they think it s annoying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I became a shell of a person for a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s happening at the same time as all these other challenges, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s people in my life who just do not love me for who I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that makes you overthink every single thing that you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How the fuck are you supposed to turn on a camera or turn on a microphone and be yourself when there are people at home, people in your world, people in your circle who do not like you for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s already a fuck ton of that on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got enough of that on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who think I m annoying, people who think," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who don t agree with, I don t know, like what I think about fashion or people who don t, who think I m ugly or like, it doesn t matter, but it s like, there are enough people who do not like me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is an inevitable part about being a public figure on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to have one of those people sneakily in your orbit, in your personal orbit, absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I had." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had that for a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was more than that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was also people who did not respect my career, who did not respect YouTube, who did not respect having a podcast, who did not respect, you know, being on TikTok, being on Instagram, who thought that that stuff wasn t cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who thought that that wasn t cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cooler to reject all that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I understand that and I agree with that to an extent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do believe that like it can be fucking badass and healthy and awesome to not be on social media, but it s also like social media is my medium for doing what I m passionate about, which is fucking talking to people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where the hell else am I supposed to do it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had the wrong people around me as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was really at a bad time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was sort of like this catch 22 where it was like having this sort of identity crisis and fear surrounding my career on the internet was bringing me down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was frustrating to me because it was like, God, I need to be doing more, but like, I just can t, like I have a mental block." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that made me overall a shell of a person, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that sort of dilemma, that challenge," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being like, I want to post, I want to be present, I want to be doing all this, but it s just like, I don t know how to make it feel right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That made me very sad in a shell of a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then on the other side of things, my personal life, the people that I was surrounding myself with were also turning me into a fucking shell of a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now we have me even more of a shell of a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t go and address my identity crisis and my fear of the internet when I have people who do not love me for me and who do not fully support me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t address that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I also was struggling to address the people in my life who were bringing me down because it was like, I don t have the strength to go do that because I m so weak from, from feeling unfulfilled by my career and, and not understanding how to like get it to a place that feels good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was sort of this thing where it was like, I could not fucking get myself out of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I tried different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tried so many things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tried a thousand things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s been a really big challenge for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s taken a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for fuck s sake, is there a pressure when you have a career on the internet to not take your time?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s a fire under the ass of all who are public figures to never disappear, to never be confused, to never make mistakes, to never like have a moment where you re not feeding the beast that is the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the beautiful beast, shall I say, but the beast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I broke the cycle mainly by shedding the people who, that was the first step I think for me was shedding people in my life that did not truly support me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shed people who judged me, who made me feel uncertain in what I m doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and not for a good reason, like not for like a valid reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s one thing if somebody in your life is like, yeah, maybe you shouldn t do something like that because it s damaging to you or it s damaging to others or it s or it s disrespectful or something like, yeah, that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if what you re doing is harmless and you enjoy doing it and someone s judging you for that, that s not somebody that you should have around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it really started with getting rid of that energy out of my life and replacing that energy with people who genuinely respect me and respect what I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like choked up thinking about it because all it takes is like one or two bad apples" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to fuck with your head and and make you turn you into a shell of a person, make you insecure, make you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot have people in your fucking direct orbit who do not believe in you, who do not respect you, who judge you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot have people like that around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can love them, but it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will ruin you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it ruined me for a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even realize it was happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As with most things, you don t realize it till it s gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that I m somebody who tends to make final decisions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I end a relationship, for example, platonic or romantic, I like that decision to be final." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No take backs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when I, you know, say, okay, I m, I m no longer going to go out on the weekdays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a choice that I m making no exceptions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very final with my choices because for me, it simplifies things a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like now I m clearing up more brain space to sort of figure out more important things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I have a sort of like a half choice that I made lingering in my," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "peripheral, it will clutter my brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t handle it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did that with TikTok." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I m deleting this and I m never fucking redownloading it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this does not exist in my world anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I made this very final decision because that s how I tend to do things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m working on that because I ve noticed that a decision can be final for now, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can say for the indefinite future, this is a final decision, but if my mind changes down the line, that s okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not a failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that my problem has been sort of my stubbornness about the finality of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why I ve refused to even analyze, like, hey, is there a world where I go back on TikTok?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the issue was not TikTok as the platform and there was an issue with me personally and the way that I was using the platform." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I refused to even look there because I was like, no, I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I made my decision and I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more recently, I ve become more intrigued with short form content because I ve been consuming a lot of it because I watch reels and YouTube shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t watch TikTok exactly, but I watch things that are quite literally reposted from TikTok to other platforms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "consuming TikTok like content." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve recently sort of had this inspiration, like, you know, I kind of want to make short form content." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, maybe I ll dabble in that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that could be something that could be fun for me for many reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, but I won t go back on TikTok because I ve made that decision and I m never going back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt that way for a long time until I sort of had an epiphany a few days ago where I was like, you know what, fuck that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck that, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I want to make short-form content, because that s something I genuinely am interested in doing and I think it would be fun for me, and I have some ideas that are like maybe, you know, that feel exciting to me, if that s something that is intriguing me and I want to start dedicating time to that in my life, it s just stupid not to involve the largest short-form content platform that exists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve decided that I m going back to TikTok." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "why I want to come back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, I think I ve solved or gotten really close to solving a lot of my prior issues with social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve already sort of touched on this, but number one, I feel far more solid in my identity as I ve grown up and stabilized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started on the internet at age 16 and I m 22 now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And from ages like 16 to 20," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was so much growing going on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a mess as we all are in that time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so turbulent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many changes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many epiphanies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many morphing opinions and morphing beliefs and morphing like morals and values." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s all happening so fast and it s overwhelming as it is, but then to do it in the public eye is even harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think now I m still very young and there s still a lot of learning to do for me, but I m so much more stable in my identity and who I am online and offline, which is pretty much the same for the most part." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel comfortable with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things have settled down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things have stabilized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that just comes with age and maturity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, I m really practicing maintaining a healthy social media life, real life balance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not have it perfectly figured out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally just made an episode a few weeks ago about how I do not have it figured out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, because it s something that I m so actively working on and for the last two weeks or so, I ve been doing pretty fucking good about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m confident that going back on TikTok will not just derail me completely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I used to have a terrible balance when it came to consuming that content and I think it ll be fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also, you know," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a better understanding of how to balance what I film and what I keep to myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just gotten easier for me over the years as I ve gotten off of the hamster wheel and set myself free from feeling like I need to film and document every single thing that fucking happens to me in my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I broke that cycle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m free from that cycle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel confident that I won t" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fall back into it from making TikToks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think it s fucking fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also not as afraid of scrutiny anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think because number one, I ve worked so hard over the past few years to truly become the best person I can be at times to a point that s almost damaging for myself because it s like perfectionism to a point that is debilitating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something I m working on, sort of figuring out the opposite extreme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know that I m a good person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if people scrutinize me, they hate me, they don t like what I said, they don t like how I look, they don t like what I m wearing, they think that I m annoying, they think I m dumb, they think I m a bad person, they think I m this, they think I m that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m at a place now where I know that I m a good fucking person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I made mistakes in my life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As we all have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What everybody always fucking says." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve made mistakes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll continue to make mistakes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not fucking perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I know there is not a cell in my body that has a doubt about whether or not I m a good person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only way that you can survive being on the internet in a healthy way is to come to that conclusion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that must be who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it cannot be a facade." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It never was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel like it was never as much of a priority for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, am I really a really good person?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can I be that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was younger, I didn t focus on that as much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it wasn t like actively a part of my thought process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was far more concerned about other things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like how do I look cool at school?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I get good grades and get into a good college for honestly bragging rights?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, shit like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Much more surface level, much more juvenile." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "far less spiritually fulfilling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, we all have to go through that phase at some point in our lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that I m a good person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also there are people in my life, again, I ve shed the people who did not believe in me, who judged me, who made me feel" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bad about being myself, and I ve replaced those people with people who fucking root for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve strengthened relationships with people who have always rooted for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve sort of figured out what that looks like, what that feels like in my life, and that has set me free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not afraid of scrutiny on the internet anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m fucking sick of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not sick of it when I say I m sick of it in an angry tone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking to the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not even talking to the people who say mean shit about me because that s par for the course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a part of this job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a part of what doing this is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m mad at myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m mad at myself for letting it get to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also I can t be mad at myself because it was just a part of my journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not afraid anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m talking about this like I m about to start fucking like saying like crazy controversial shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not even that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that I was afraid of saying anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was afraid of existing online." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like it was just merely existing, showing my personality at all, showing my sense of humor at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was afraid of all of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, I m really trying to drop all of my limiting beliefs about" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what it means to make good content, what platforms are good and what platforms are bad, and what makes for a respectable career, and what makes for respectable content." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to drop all of that because I think all of that is ultimately limiting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that it is good to be analytical and critical of your own content because, you know, especially if it s something that you do as your job, you should be analytical and critical, but in ways that are" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "constructive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Believing that a platform is inherently cringe or bad or whatever is sort of ridiculous, I think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve definitely had my experience with those feelings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Content doesn t have to be this highbrow sort of thing all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shouldn t be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, it should be fucking fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It should be fun and it should be entertaining." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It should be fun for me to make and it should be fun to watch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all that fucking matters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t need to be some sort of life-changing sort of thing for every person who watches." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe it is life-changing in some ways, but it s not in an obvious way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not in the way that maybe music impacts people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in a different way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in a more modern way that didn t exist" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "years ago, but there s still value to it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also think that social media is what you make of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "TikTok is what you make of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are negative parts of TikTok." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also negative parts about Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also negative parts about YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also negative parts about Twitter, and there are also negative parts about threads." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, I m not on threads, but I bet there are negative parts about that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are negative parts about Twitch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are negative parts about fucking Reddit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That place scares me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with all of these platforms as well, there s positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There absolutely is positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is up to me to decide how I want to look at these platforms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I want to choose to see them for only their negative?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where does that get me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think I need to change my lens a little bit the way that I view social media and say, yeah, these things are dangerous in some ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re damaging in some ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but also they are the tool for me to do what I m passionate about, which is talk to people and hang out with people and discuss things that excite me and things that I m struggling with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my canvas in a way, and I must make the decision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to see these platforms in at least somewhat of a positive light or ideally in a neutral light because that s the light that they should be viewed in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blaming TikTok or any sort of platform is not taking responsibility for our decisions and choices as adults." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m an adult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "using these platforms in certain ways hurts me, then I need to not use them in that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s my job to figure out how to use them in a way that works for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only person responsible for that is me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s been an important, you know, conclusion for me to come to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This shit s fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, TikTok was fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I used to be on TikTok, before it got kind of toxic for me, it actually was kind of fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t take it seriously, but it was fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited now, though, to get back on it and try it again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s gonna be fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that a lot of you are probably thinking right now, you re such a freak, Emma, you just made a fucking hour-long episode about TikTok, and you going back on it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not that deep?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it, it s not that deep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it kind of is that deep for me, a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, I don t know, I think I m just somebody that tends to make everything deep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sometimes to a fault." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, I m excited to be back on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have sort of this excitement around being on social media in general." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think short form content is fun and it s inspiring to me right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also love long form content too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been editing this one fashion week video for literally a month now, but I had five hours of footage." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just taking me, it s like so fucking long that it s taking me a month to edit, but I m excited about," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all these things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited to be on the internet again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, it s been a fucking journey and it s been so turbulent for me, but I m proud to say that I ve done, I think that I ve done the work in a way to hopefully get to a place eventually where like, this is just all positive for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, nothing s ever going to be all positive, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m keeping it together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m keeping it together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m really determined to find the way to do it in a healthy way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am so grateful that you ve all sort of stuck with me through these many years of somewhat turbulent times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been a lot of fun times too, but a lot of turbulent times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I ve spent easily half of my career thus far" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "battling this complicated relationship with arguably my canvas, which is social media." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I, I ve spent so much time struggling with my relationship with it and that s no one s job to deal with, but mine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know, there ve been a lot of you who have stuck with me through it and I m so grateful for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Truly, truly, truly more than you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just very grateful for you all for hanging out with me for so many years now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hopefully you love my TikToks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go follow me on TikTok now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go follow me on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m fucking, I m so kidding." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, I m excited." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited and I m feeling inspired and I m feeling really good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hopefully, no, you know, not hopefully, I was going to say, and hopefully it lasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will last." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although if it doesn t and I end up getting like emo again, you can say I told you so." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really, my fingers crossed that I m starting to reach social media nirvana." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I have to go now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and supporting me in all the ways that you do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so fucking grateful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, new episodes of Anything Goes, Thursdays, Sundays, anywhere that you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the video is exclusive to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check me out on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company at Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have matcha." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute accessories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have canned lattes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find us in a store near you or order online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ChamberlainCoffee.com and it will come straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See you all on the fucking Internet, baby." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See you all on the Internet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome back to Advice Session where I give you advice about various dilemmas that you all have sent me on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can choose to take or leave this advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And today I gathered various dilemmas that you all are experiencing in regards to whether or not you should leave your partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a reoccurring theme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that is the theme today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I empathize with this because it s one of the hardest decisions to make in life, whether or not you should leave someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this applies to any type of relationship in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when there are family members that you need to distance yourself from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when there are friends that you need to distance yourself from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when you need to break up with your significant other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are some of the hardest decisions to make because there s love involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love these people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to leave them, even if we know that they re holding us back or they have a negative impact on our daily lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone can treat you like shit and it can still be really hard to leave them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So without further ado." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s get into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone said, stuck in a cycle of he left me, got with someone else, got back with me, left me again, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I get out of it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it sounds like you already know that you want to be done with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The decision has been made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now what needs to be done is you need to actually take the action, which is the hardest part." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting out of it is honestly pretty easy on paper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting out of it consists of having a conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do this anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is tearing me apart emotionally, and I m done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that we re done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s a matter of no longer speaking to this person and no longer being with them anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s, on paper, pretty simple, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because getting to a point where you re ready to do that is so challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it takes so much mental work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it sounds like you still care for this person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You still kind of want to be with them in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know that you re done because you said, how do I get out of it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s something emotionally holding you back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, as I said, on paper, it s easy to get out of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a conversation, you say, I need to be out of this, and then you re out of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy on paper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that emotional battle that s so challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you get out of that headspace, the headspace of feeling stuck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re stuck getting to the place where you can have that conversation and actually end it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My advice is to gather your thoughts to start." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, for me, I tend to do that through conversation with people who are very close to me, my two best friends or my parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to those people and I just talk through it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talk about what I m going to say to the person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talk about why I know it needs to end." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just say it out loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I say it all out loud and I get it all off my chest, it just feels clearer to me and I end up by the end of the conversation feeling more certain about what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s one option." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another option, if you don t really want to bring anyone else into it, is you could literally write everything down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could almost write down like a game plan, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You write down all the reasons why you know that you need to be done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could write down all the ways that you want your life to be different when you re out of this relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could write down all of the things that you re going to focus your energy on instead of this relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could write down what you re going to say during the conversation when you end things, and you could even write down what you re going to miss about the person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then you should also compliment that, or not really compliment that, but oppose that with a list of things that you re not going to miss about the person, things that are deeply wrong with the person that make them really challenging to be with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something very helpful about feeling like your feelings and thoughts about the situation are tangible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s an incredible first step to getting clearer on what your next step is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t let it fester in your mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can actually, but it ll just take a bit longer, I think, to take action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some people who are good at doing the mental gymnastics in their head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t need to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "say it out loud or write it in a journal or do any of that to take action and just do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some people who just do it and they don t find themselves feeling stuck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe they are stuck, but that s their mode of fixing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the most impactful way is to make it feel somehow tangible and then take action." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think another really important piece of this is no contact, the no contact rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in a cycle with someone, it s one thing to have that really challenging conversation and be like, we re done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s a whole other challenge to stick to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think for certain couples, it s fine to have a little bit of contact, you know, to check in every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If both people have an insane amount of self-control, I guess, like almost a superhuman level of self-control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "two exes can do that and not get back together, you know, like they can remain separated and friendly and all s good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the no contact rule is absolutely crucial for breaking the cycle because you guys are in the routine of, you know, having sort of an inconclusive, it sounds like, having sort of an inconclusive breakup conversation and then" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting back together and then breaking up again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re clearly still in contact a lot, which is why you keep falling back into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you cut contact for six months, you can break the cycle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The longer you go, the better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that needs to be a part of that challenging conversation that ends it for once and for all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you end it for once and for all, you have to say that in the conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to say, listen, this is it forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I cannot do this ever again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe 20 years down the line, talk to you then, but like maybe 10 years down the line, but like for the next long time, we need to break the cycle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This needs to be done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish we could be together, but this is just too much for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that it s best if we do not speak for the indefinite future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are going to be days when you re like, oh my God, I would do anything to text them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I just miss them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to talk to them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want them back one last time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe this time it ll be different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chances are it will not be different, especially if it s really recent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if it s been only like two months, which is when it s the hardest, by the way, things will not be different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just won t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Refrain from breaking the no contact rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I promise you, you can break the cycle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, I love my boyfriend so much, but I can t see us getting married, but I m not ready to break up with him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I doing the wrong thing by staying with him?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think it s very normal and maybe even healthy to have doubts in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost feel like it s more dangerous if you re delusionally" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in love with somebody like this person s my soulmate this person is perfect this person is flawless there is absolutely nothing wrong with them I must marry them or else I will not live to see another day I will die if they are not my soulmate like I cannot like I think that is honestly more of a reason to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "weirdly break up in a way than having slight doubts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think that in life our goal should always be to be living as rationally and as realistically as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to question everything and to be curious and to never fully settle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think that that is a positive mindset to have because there s kind of like a level of agility that comes with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re able to take action in your life and make changes that impact your life in a positive way when you re asking questions, when you re curious, when you re questioning things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I understand the fear, like, is it a bad sign that I m questioning things?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, does this mean that he s not the one for me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe he s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might be onto something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But right now, you don t know for sure yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still, you still love this person and your gut s telling you that it s not time to break up yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s nothing to be too concerned about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s normal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, when I was younger, I didn t take it seriously enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t take romantic relationships seriously enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that me specifically as a person should because I m someone who wants to get married, wants to have a kid, and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting married and having children, those are huge commitments, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that shit gets messy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t make the right choice, shit could get messy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you re somebody who never wants to get married, you never want to have kids, and you don t really want to have a lifelong partner, you re more interested in just dating around kind of forever, then it s less important for someone who has goals like that to be hyper" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "aware of their relationship at a given moment because it s like they re never going to settle, like the stakes are lower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re someone who wants to get married, maybe wants to have a family, the stakes are far higher." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s fucking serious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a serious choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like societally, in a weird way, we kind of have stripped away the weight and the severity of the decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s because dating is so casual now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe it s just because it s so normal to see people getting married every day that it s like, well, this isn t a rare thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everybody, so many people get married." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people have families with their significant other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why the weight has been lifted from it, but it is a fucking serious decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And questioning it is the rational response to be like, I don t know if this is my person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s rational." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because honestly, I don t know if you ever really know for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be rational is to always have a little bit of doubt in the back of your head and say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person might not be the one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, they re pretty damn close and I m really happy with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there someone out there who s better?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, but this feels right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m going to do it, you know, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think it s inherently a red flag to be questioning whether or not you re going to get married." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s healthy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when you re in a state where you re like, because I can think about, I m thinking about myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the past, like I ve been in certain relationships where I ve been like, I have to marry this person or else I will die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person I must marry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s happened to me twice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s also been times where I haven t had that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think deep down, it s because I, I was like this, I can feel we ll be short." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was, you know, and all those times it was like, that was accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with longer term relationships, I ve been like, Oh my God, I have to marry this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was a state of like, I was in a delusional state there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And weirdly, I think I was in that state, because I was so unsure about it in my gut, and something in my gut was like, fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think this is actually right, but I wanted it to be right so badly that I convinced myself that they were my soulmate when they weren t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when things are actually healthy, I ve noticed, and things actually are balanced and things actually click, you find a sense of calm and like, you know what, actually, this might work, this might not work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it feels really good right now and I m actually okay with just enjoying what it is right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so bizarre when you feel safe and when you feel comfortable and when you feel properly loved in a relationship, you don t end up in a delusional state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You end up in a more rational state where you re questioning things and you re not overcompensating for their lack of compatibility with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "by being dramatic about them being your soulmate and stuff like that, and you don t end up in that sort of extreme state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just my experience, but I actually think that it s really healthy to be questioning, so I wouldn t worry about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, I have a really suspicious feeling about my partner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, a lot of people will say, you got to go on the phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to look through the phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to read through the text messages." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go through their Instagram DMs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go behind their back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to start asking around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go behind their back because they re never going to say it to your face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might very well be true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I think the first step is to have a conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that obvious?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, that s obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the conversation and the way it s handled is crucial because I think a lot of us avoid conversations like this because we fear that we re going to seem crazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We fear that we re going to seem desperate or needy or pathetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I found is, if you address that head on when going into the conversation, it just disarms yourself and them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you go into the conversation like this, sort of like an animal with its tail between its legs, and you say, listen, I don t want to have this conversation just as much as you don t want to have this conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that I m wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that I m wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that I m crazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s where I m at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a bad feeling about you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like something s off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like you might be cheating on me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like you don t love me anymore, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to respect your privacy, which is why I ve decided not to go through your phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve decided not to go through your Instagram." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve decided not to do any of those things because I respect you as a person and I respect your privacy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I have a very deep feeling that something is off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I need you to prove to me that something is not off because my gut feeling is not nothing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something is off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it might not be what I think it is, but something s definitely off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we need to work together to figure out what that is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I beg of you that if something is going on, and it is the thing that I think that it is, that you will tell me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I have used all of the restraint in my body to not play dirty with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not gone on your phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not done all this shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve not gone behind your back and started asking around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I ve come to you because I respect you as my partner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would hope, if you re the partner that I think that you are to me, I would hope that you would be fucking honest with me and tell me the truth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ve handled this in the best way I possibly could." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all I ask of you is that you do the same." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you cheated on me, if you did this, if you did that, that ll be a separate conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I beg of you to tell me because it s driving me nuts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s driving me nuts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel uncomfortable living in this state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I honestly think it s that type of conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that is all you can do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because listen, you could go behind their back and you could try to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not going to make you feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That will make you feel like shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to feel guilty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re also, I personally don t believe that that s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I have a hard time with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, if someone is cheating on you or something, and you find something, then it s like, you feel justified." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, well, thank God I looked, because otherwise I wouldn t have ever known." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s fair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, what if you don t find anything?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what if they re not cheating on you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what if it s like, they ve been suffering with something else, and then now you ve gone through their phone and you feel bad?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s better to lead with a conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, if this suspicious feeling doesn t go away for like months and months and months," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might just be a sign that you re not compatible with this person and you don t trust them because of their personality, who they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s their communication style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s how affectionate or not affectionate they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s there s something about the way that they love you that doesn t feel right for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you should feel comfortable and safe and secure and not suspicious in a healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t realize that for so many years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought it was fully normal to constantly be on edge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I realize now in retrospect is that I was responding to not getting my needs met emotionally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was responding to not being communicated with enough, not receiving enough affection, not being reassured enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck, not being reassured at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not being adored at all, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I was responding to these things and I gaslit myself into being like, fuck, I m being crazy for, like, kind of feeling suspicious or feeling uncomfortable pretty frequently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, no, I was just responding to not receiving what I needed from this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did these people ever cheat on me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But did I always feel suspicious with them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, because they were not giving me what I needed emotionally, whereas I ve been in relationships where I have received what I needed emotionally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ease of mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, chilled out, so chill, so relaxed, never worry about them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I just, I trust them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can tell that they love me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody said, my boyfriend is always repeating the same mistakes and apologizing, but I never see him change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think the first step is to, again, here Emma goes saying to communicate, have a conversation, pointing out respectfully and softly this problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Say, listen, I ve asked you to change in these different ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You haven t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And am I asking something of you that you cannot do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, are these things that you can do or no?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are my expectations unrealistic?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be honest with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, depending on what he says, it can go in various different ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If he says, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is just who I am." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve tried to change, but it doesn t stick because it s just not me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is who I am." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know what to tell you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At that point, you have to make a decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you willing to accept your significant other for who they are exactly as they are?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you can t change people all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So are you willing to accept that or are you not?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And is it time to move on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, your significant other might say, these are things that I want to change, but I need more time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the reason why I have not changed yet is because I need more time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, and I might need a little bit of help." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well now you need to ask yourself, are you willing to wait?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And are you willing to help?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, the same as the last, you just need to ask yourself those questions and everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth is, in relationships, there are always going to be some sort of compromise, and it looks different in every relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, in some relationships, it might be that your significant other is really bad at communicating, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it does not come naturally to them, and that s the cards that you were dealt, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some relationships, it might be like, this person s sense of humor is just kind of like, like they re so perfect in every other way," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, like, we just don t have the same sense of humor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or there might be somebody where it s like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The sex, it sucks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The sex sucks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s different in every relationship, but you have to figure out what you re willing to sacrifice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know for myself, like, I m such a communicator." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be with another communicator." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just who I am, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a deal breaker for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s other things for me, too, that are deal breakers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s just, you have to understand that, and I have to understand even too, like we all have to understand that it s kind of unfair for us to expect people to change things that are inherently them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there are other people that aren t going to mind that they re that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, if somebody is not a communicator, they might date somebody who also isn t a communicator and they can just go ahead and not communicate together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, there are going to be two people who don t really care about sex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they re not sexual people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they have low libido and they just, they have mediocre sex and neither of them are necessarily, they don t care because they have a beautiful friendship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, maybe they work on improving their sex lives together because they re both starting from the same point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re both not really that into sex and they don t really, they re not that interested in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they don t," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "know how to make it interesting for themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those issues might actually end up being fine in another setting, so you have to figure out what you re willing to compromise with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s okay to leave because you re not compatible with someone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of times we feel bad about leaving when there s not something really, really wrong, like when someone didn t cheat on us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I tend to be somebody personally who always wants to fix things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we could work through this, we could work through this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some things can t be worked through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some things can be worked through, but it ll take too long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can tell you that there s people out there that are flawed as well, but are flawed in a way that you can manage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, somebody said, I m in a relationship where I carry most of the weight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I work two jobs, and I don t see my boyfriend have the same motivation for a future as I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love him so much, but I don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, this is kind of similar to the last one in the sense that you need to ask yourself if you re willing to accept him for who he is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone is super ambitious, super motivated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, some people don t care about making a lot of money and care more about maybe doing creative stuff, making art, surfing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone has their right to dream up the life that they want to have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know it may sound kind of harsh because it s like it is a bit uncomfortable to be the one carrying all the weight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and not seeing your significant other match you there, but at the same time, it s like, that is ultimately your choice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re the one carrying most of the weight, you re not relying on them at all, maybe emotionally in some way, but you could break up with them and be completely fine tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s up to you every day to choose if you re okay with carrying most of the weight, because that might just be what it means to be with this person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you love them deeply enough, that might be okay with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a little different than what I imagined." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I imagined having an equally as motivated partner, but at the same time, this person provides so much value in other areas of my life and they still have motivation in their life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not the same as mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that we can work through this together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think that we can find a way to both reach our goals individually together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "through accepting that this person just doesn t have as much of a grind set, you know, as you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you also might come to the conclusion that that s not going to work for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you need somebody who s who s on the same wavelength and wants the same level of success as you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s also completely fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In that case, you need to leave them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to be hard because you still love them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s an absolutely valid reason to leave someone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because for a lot of people, having a similar level of motivation and having a similar vision for the future is non-negotiable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s absolutely fair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas other people I think are like, you know, we can find a happy medium." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can compromise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because we just work so well together in other ways, and we have such a great friendship, and we have so much fun together, and maybe we have the same hobbies, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, maybe when it comes to our future financial status, or where we live, or all these things, you know, maybe all these things are, we kind of differ, but at the same time, we have so much fun together that we could make it work with any amount of money, living anywhere, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody said, I feel like I m too young to be in a committed relationship, even though I m in a happy and healthy one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it too early to settle down?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, I feel like it s best to take it day by day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m horrible at this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this is me giving hypocritical advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, here I go again, giving advice that I m bad at following." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in the past, and I mean, even today, it s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "very hard for me not to jump to conclusions like, ooh, this person s really good, really happy, really healthy, even though I m only 22." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll get married to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I have a history of doing this because I like having answers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to plan things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t need to commit to anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you feel like you re too young to be in a committed relationship, you re not really that committed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you don t have to get married." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like dating in a serious way is commitment and is serious and is ultimately leading to potentially more such as having a family or doing whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not that serious, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can still leave at any time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that it doesn t feel happy and it doesn t feel healthy anymore, you can leave after one conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the truth is, it isn t easy to find a happy and healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you find yourself in one, I always say to stay in it until it doesn t feel happy and healthy anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happy and healthy is rare, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think if you re somebody who ultimately wants to get married one day, ultimately wants to have a family one day with someone," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should hold on to every happy and healthy relationship that you come across if that s your ultimate goal because they are rare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re rare and they re to be cherished." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think there can be moments of doubt, you know, like, hey, should I be like exploring different options?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a weird way, you re always exploring different options, even when you re with somebody, because you re making friends, you re socializing more, and you can be in a relationship and still be studying the world around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like even though you re young, it doesn t mean like you re blinded to the world around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you start to feel like, ah, you know what, there are things out here that I," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really want to experience and they re more appealing to me and will make me more happy and will make my life more fulfilling if I experience than the relationship that I m in now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cross that bridge when you get to it, but don t just end a relationship because you feel like maybe societally you re too young to be in a committed relationship and you should be experimenting and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If something s happy and healthy and feels good, you just got to run with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you ll know when it s time to leave if that time ever comes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t just leave because you feel like you re supposed to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because society s like, you re not supposed to get married until this age, or you re not supposed to find the love of your life until this age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, you know, your grandparents are like, you re too young to be dating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, Grandma, I m 20." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I can be in a relationship now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m 20." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m an adult." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, I think ride it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today s advice session." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, feel free to DM on Instagram at Anything Goes and send in various dilemmas that you re going through right now and maybe you might be included in a future advice session." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tune in and hang out anywhere that you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the videos exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on YouTube at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea, it s all happening there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can deliver straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in grocery stores." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find us however you want to find us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and I appreciate you all and I just hope that you re doing awesome and having fun and living life to the fullest and feeling various emotions and sinking into them and enjoying the experience of what it is to be human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are going to be like, hear me say shit like that and not think that I m, they ll be like, oh, so she s not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She means that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s slowly trying to become a cult leader." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I can t be silly?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I see how it is now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you all, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we ve gotten to a point now where discussing the reality of what it means to live today in 2024 in regards to technology has become cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very cringe, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be like, social media is rotting our brains." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be like, we re all overstimulated and addicted to our phones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it is unfortunate that it s cringe because I am going to be talking about it today again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I talked about it before?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I said everything there is to be said?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I revisiting it today because it s still sort of an issue in my personal life and I m trying to work through it with all of you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unfortunate that it s cringe because it s not a conversation that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "should be over necessarily, I sound like, listen, I know I sound like your mom or your dad or your grandma or your uncle coming to you at Thanksgiving being like, you need to get off that phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I sound like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sound like that now, I ve sounded like that before, and I ll sound like that again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just the reality of who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve said this before also, but it s almost like I have a mom, like a built-in mom in my own brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I obviously have my mom, who I love and adore," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also have like another mom, slash grandma, slash older, wiser voice in my head, telling me what s right, what I should be doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on the other side of my brain, I have 22 year old Emma." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those two sides of my brain are constantly fighting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But today I m going to be talking from the mom in my brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the grandma in my brain for the most part." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then 22 year old Emma will come in too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to warn you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m about to say a cliche about the world that we live in today that you ve heard a billion times and you ll probably hear a billion more times in the future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live in a time where you don t have to be bored anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, you ve never heard that before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to explain why this statement is true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s endless entertainment, readily available at all times, and it s addictive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we know that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something a little less discussed is also the fact that we live in a culture that sort of shames boredom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not necessarily directly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There aren t people saying like, being bored is bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means you re a failure and it means you suck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But indirectly, I feel like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t live in a culture that says, hey, you should go and be bored." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of emphasis on working really hard, grinding, blah, blah, blah, which is sort of, in my opinion, indirectly saying if you re bored, then you re not working hard enough and there s something wrong with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s this emphasis around finding your dream job and working really hard at it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that whole narrative does not have boredom anywhere in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like if you were to go to someone who has this major grind mindset, like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "find your dream job and work really hard at it every single day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you were to say, I m bored to somebody like that, they d be like, okay, why aren t you working?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re like, I am working, I m bored and I m at work, they d say, okay, why are you still at that job if it s making you feel bored?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that whole narrative just does not support boredom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, everyone s constantly comparing their lives on social media and everybody looks like they re always doing something fun all the time, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something we already all know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That also makes us all feel like we should never be bored because it s like, oh, well, this person s on a trip to Hawaii and they look like they re having so much fun and they re doing something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I m not doing anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sitting in my backyard looking at a bird and I m bored." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I shouldn t be doing that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be doing something else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be entertained." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be doing something with my life again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That does not support the idea that boredom maybe can be good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything going on around us pushes us towards overstimulation in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I came to the conclusion the other day that I need to allow myself to be bored more often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is not a conclusion that I m coming to for the first time, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve come to this conclusion 10 times before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not a new conversation for us here on Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have talked about this, but I ve come to the conclusion again recently that, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not bored enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that being bored is important because just through life experience, not that I have a lot, I m 22, but through experience, I ve noticed that times of boredom have led me to do incredible things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can look back and see the value in times of boredom in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And simply because of that, I m inspired in moments where I m not ever bored and I m constantly overstimulated, that I need to create more space to be bored." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to allow myself to be bored more often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, there s a few things I wanna go into, but the first one is why I think boredom is important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my personal experience, I ve found boredom forces me to reflect, for one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not bored and you re constantly overstimulated, when are you gonna find time to sort of do the dirty work and reflect on yourself and your life and the people around you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t really have to do that if you re constantly distracting yourself with other things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to reflect most often when I m driving or I m in the shower." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even in moments of overstimulation, I can t usually distract myself very well when I m driving or when I m in the shower because what else am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, yeah, sometimes I can" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "listen to a podcast or play a YouTube video or call someone on the phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been known to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes no one s available." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes everyone s working." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes everyone s busy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma s left to be alone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a YouTube video or a podcast is not cutting it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not a distraction enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gets to a point where it s like maybe silence is the best option." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I find myself briefly, for just a moment, bored." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what I do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without a doubt, I reflect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I always find it miraculous when I do give myself a moment of boredom in a phase of overstimulation, how quickly that moment of reflection makes me feel better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we always have things going on in our head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, here we go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here I go with a metaphor, but I feel like we have this backpack that we re carrying all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s certain things that put weight into the backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there are certain things that take weight out of the backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Daily challenges and dilemmas and questions that we have unanswered, unsolved, wait in the backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then anytime we take a bit to think and reflect and answer some of those questions and address some of those uncomfortable things," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re able to take weight out of the backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the moment, it s annoying because there s a lot of heavy shit in the backpack and it s annoying and you just sift around and find the things that you need to take out, you know, and it s harder to lift something up from the front than it is to be carrying it around on your back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s really heavy and it s annoying and then you get it out and you throw it and then you re done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was annoying to go into your backpack and get it all out and like whatever, but then now that it s gone, you re so stoked that it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of what it feels like to," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "be in a phase when you aren t reflecting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like when you re in a phase where you re really overstimulated and you re distracting yourself a lot, that almost acts as like these pads on the straps of your backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These like soft, fuzzy pads that make it hurt a little less when you re carrying around all this heavy stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t feel as inspired to look into that backpack because you re like, well," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My shoulders don t hurt as bad because I have these pads that are protecting the straps from digging into my shoulders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not thinking about it as much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have to think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But eventually, you ll add enough heavy stuff to that backpack that now you have really bad back pain, and maybe your sciatica s acting up, and now you have to look into that goddamn backpack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t want to get to that point where your backpack s so heavy that you have so much stuff that you need to reflect on that it s like overwhelming and daunting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s better to have more moments of boredom throughout your day and in your life so that you just naturally end up addressing those things more often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least this is my experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think boredom is crucial for creativity in all ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not just talking about like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a creative project, like, oh, I m making my magnum opus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m painting a self-portrait that hopefully will be in the Louvre one day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be good for that as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, but I m just talking about using the creative side of your brain" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in general." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll use an example for when I m trying to come up with things to talk about for my podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sometimes get really stumped because I ve had a podcast for a long time and I m like, fuck, what have I never talked about before?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, and by the way, this is not me complaining." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just, this is just genuine" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "an example from my life, I ll be like, okay, I want to think about something that I haven t talked about before, something that feels, you know, fresh and exciting maybe, or maybe I have a different take on something that I have already talked about before, but sometimes I get stumped and I can t really figure out what I want to talk about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have to sort of get creative and try to figure out, okay, what could be a full episode?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what the best solution for that is?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Forcing myself to be bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have days sometimes where I lay in bed all day, bored as fuck, with my computer open, trying to figure out what I could talk about for the podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s part of the deal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you are trying to create something new in some way, no matter what it is, a lot of times you re gonna end up" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really bored, staring at the wall, not sure what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of a part of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wish in a way that I set out more time in my life to be bored, because I think that if I did that, then in those moments of boredom, I would end up coming up with ideas instead of coming down to the wire and then having to force myself to be bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on days when I m like, oh, I want to record today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, oh shit, I don t have an idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I end up needing to stare at the ceiling for six hours to eventually figure something out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I have to shove all this boredom into one day out of necessity instead of, I don t know, being bored some other time and spreading it out in a better way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that nothing inspires creativity better than boredom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that you re able to be creative in all areas of your life so much easier when you have the space in your brain to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like creative endeavors, whether it s a creative problem or it s a creative project, it requires almost an empty brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You almost need to have an empty brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when is your brain empty?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and similar to that," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Problem-solving, I mean, I kind of already addressed that with reflection and creativity because both of those involve problem-solving, but I feel like problem-solving, similar to creativity, it requires so much focus in such a blank slate in the brain that without boredom, it s very hard to solve a problem properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, recharging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of times we look at boredom as something that is not recharging because being bored is not the most comfortable feeling, especially now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make a lot of us sort of antsy because we re like, God, I should be doing something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be doing something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being bored is in my opinion, crucial for recharging and preventing burnout in all areas of life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having the freedom to do whatever you want with your brain, whether it s uncomfortable because that s actually not always a comfortable feeling, or it s comfortable because maybe you re someone who, I don t know, understands the value of boredom and appreciates it, I think it s the only way to recharge in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With all that being said, it s clear that boredom, at least for me, is very important because it allows me to do all of these critical things in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I was thinking about it the other day, it s not hard to find boredom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s actually really easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, it s easier than ever because I do think that it takes much more to stimulate us now than it used to in the past." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, people in the 1920s didn t know what they were missing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t have an iPad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t have Instagram." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t have TikTok." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They did not have Netflix." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they did not have Max, formerly known as HBO Max." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they definitely didn t have Hulu either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they were probably properly entertained by, I don t know, going on a walk through a flower garden." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were probably properly entertained" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "reading a book, I would argue it s much less entertaining now for the majority of human beings alive today than it was for human beings in 1920 when there was just a whole lot less going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "our barrier for what s entertaining and stimulating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with that being said, it s kind of cool in a way because boredom is all around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we can find boredom in way more places because we re so much less entertained by mundane things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say it s a Saturday and you have two options." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could overstimulate yourself, as we all do, okay, by spending all day going on TikTok and then maybe watching a really addictive TV show." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then ordering dinner on a food delivery app." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, just all these things that are very addictive and very, just prevent you from being bored because you don t ever have to be bored during those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those things gather all of your attention." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, before I even go any further, I want to say that I don t want to demonize a day like that because I also think that there can be something recharging at times about having a day like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just letting yourself," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "do all the things and indulge in all these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that that s always inherently wrong and I don t want to demonize it because I think there is some value maybe there too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure if there s value there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be pushing it too far, but I think that we shouldn t feel like we can t ever do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s so unhealthy as well because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whatever, but I think we should keep that to a minimum." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there should be a limit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t think we should do that anytime we have a day off, anytime we have an hour off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think that there should be a balance where sometimes our time spent off is like that because that s fun and that feels good sometimes, but it should also be spent being bored sometimes too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we should just create more" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "boredom in our life in general." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, and it s easy to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like replace a day like that, watching TV, going on TikTok, ordering food delivery with going for a hike." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a lot of us going for a hike is fucking boring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are vividly entertained by that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Many people are not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do enjoy going for a hike and I find it to be fun and somewhat entertaining, but I also do think that there is a little bit of it that s boring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure, you know, maybe in good company, it s less boring, but actually definitely in good company, it s less boring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I were to go on a hike by myself and force myself to just walk and not listen to anything, maybe listen to music, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might get a little bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be honest, like an hour in, I may be like, all right, I m fucking bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sitting in your backyard with no form of entertainment, no music, no podcast, no YouTube video, not even a book and just sitting there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s boring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laying in bed with the TV off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thinking time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is boring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who d want to do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not hard to find boredom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can make yourself bored very easily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finding boredom is not the hard part." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s motivating ourselves to create boredom and then not succumbing to the addiction to all these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when we are in a moment of boredom, not just being like, oh, fuck, fuck this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to like, what s so wrong about playing a podcast right now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m, I m on this hike and I want to listen to a podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what s wrong with that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, there is nothing wrong with that necessarily, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I think that there s a balance that we re not striking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s almost like for a lot of us, we have to almost manufacture boredom nowadays." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which feels so unusual because I feel like in the past, it was always like, you know, people would tell their kids, Oh, go make yourself busy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, go figure something out, go figure out how to entertain yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And kids would have to go get creative to entertain themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas now it s like we all have to manufacture that boredom again because we don t have enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we need a little bit of it at least." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it just feels so backwards and unnatural." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels weird and forced to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it feels kind of silly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me personally, I feel like I need to do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I know I need to do this more because I am" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "constantly overstimulating myself because it s just the easier route in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that it s not good for me in any way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s not good for my creativity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not good for my growth in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not good for reflecting on things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not good" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for my overall soul in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so much easier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much easier to just let myself indulge in all of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a lot of discipline." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I go through phases, you know, like you ve heard me talk about this topic before, maybe in a slightly different way, but I ve talked" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "about being addicted to social media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ve talked about how, you know what, I think I kicked it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I kicked it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I figured it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, you know, maybe I picked up this hobby or I started doing this and this really helped." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve only ever found temporary solutions for this problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never found a permanent solution for this problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe there is none." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would say right now in this current moment, I m back in a period where I am just constantly listening to YouTube videos or podcasts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I go on Instagram reels all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go on YouTube shorts all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I waste so much fucking time on those." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I don t have TikTok." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m not addicted to TikTok per se, but I might as well be because I m addicted to all the weirder forms of TikTok, aka Instagram Reels and aka YouTube Shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say actually Instagram Reels are not weird, but YouTube Shorts are obviously weird and everybody talks about how weird they are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I ve found that their algorithm is actually very addicting once they understand what you like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just as potent as like, if not even more potent sometimes than Instagram Reels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m so addicted to YouTube Shorts and they have me down" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so good right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I get actually positive content." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get a lot of like food reviews and stuff, which is fun because I m always like, oh, maybe I ll go try that restaurant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course I won t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know the next time I m going to be visiting Singapore and remember to go to this one restaurant that this person visited." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The likelihood is very low." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I don t know the next time I m going to be in Mexico City and know and remember this exact bakery that this person went to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it s very entertaining." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d like to think that I would go there one day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also get a lot of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "videos of people on van life, doing van life, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Living in a van." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know I m 10 years late to that sort of trend, watching content about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just as fun to watch now as it was 10 years ago, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very addicted to YouTube shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also very addicted to Instagram reels, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get very funny stuff on Instagram Reels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m laughing up a storm over here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sending Instagram Reels to everybody, and they re like, Emma, this is so annoying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This would be less weird if you just had TikTok." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s all good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve resorted to just sending Reels to people who appreciate them and also don t have TikTok, such as my parents, because they love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and they get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is all a pointless tangent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in a phase again where I m very addicted to all of these things, food delivery, social media and the internet as a whole, constantly having noise going on, you know, constantly having a podcast or YouTube video playing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just, there s constant noise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m back in that place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why it happened was because in phases where I m maybe working harder or working more, that tends to give me an excuse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "well, I ve been so busy working on all these things that when I have like, you know, an hour off, I just want to fucking rot my brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that just feels good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, yeah, but when is the time?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When do I get, then I m never going to get that moment of silence, that moment of boredom, that moment, like I m not getting that at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell you the last time I was bored because anytime I would be bored, I just drowned it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very much in that phase again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m frustrated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m fucking frustrated because it s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell you how many times I ve cycled through like, okay, I get to a point where I m so overstimulated that it s like actually starting to make me lose connection with myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel connected with myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel connected with my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel connected with the world around me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not looking inward enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel connected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it starts to make me feel like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "slowly but surely it leads me to a sort of a dark place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it can make my anxiety worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make my depression worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it can make these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think particularly in this phase of my life, my anxiety worse because I m not in a depressive phase necessarily, but yeah, it can make me start to feel like shit and it can make various mental health challenges even worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m reaching that point now again," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where I m just feeling down in the dumps a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m, I m like, I can t keep coming back here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to keep ending up here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I want to get into a routine that s so solid that I don t end up back here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes so much discipline though, that it s so fucking tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I honestly think the best way to kickstart it in, in past experiences is doing somewhat of a dopamine detox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About a year ago, actually, I tried my first dopamine detox, which is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically when you abstain from addictive things such as social media, gaming, food delivery, alcohol, shopping, watching TV, listening to podcasts, like you basically, anything that would overstimulate you, anything that makes your life too easy, uh-uh, not happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I did the dopamine detox and I actually, from what I can remember, found a lot of value in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it was really challenging because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was uncomfortable a lot, and I was bored a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized how much time I waste entertaining myself with pointless shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was sort of an uncomfortable realization, I remember." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt a lot of shame, I think, about how much time I was wasting doing all this pointless shit when I could have been doing something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I remember it being pretty profound." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I did it for a week or two, I don t remember." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember feeling really good during it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember feeling much clearer in the head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually, if I close my eyes now, can remember the calmness that I felt towards the end of the detox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I felt amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the past, the dopamine detox was a very trendy sort of movement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everyone was doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re all, you know, so overstimulated, we need to do a dopamine detox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was very trendy and a lot of people were trying it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that was great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem is it fell out of favor because the name of it is scientifically inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you technically can t detox your body from the chemical dopamine that your body releases." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can t cleanse your body of dopamine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re always releasing dopamine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s scientifically inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also think too, there are some people saying that it doesn t technically work the way that people explain that it does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like people say, okay, a dopamine detox is you remove all of these things that produce the chemical of dopamine so that you can start releasing more dopamine when you do less exciting things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s sort of the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we get all these easy hits of dopamine all the time from social media and food delivery and shopping and video gaming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we get too much dopamine all the time from all these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to strip it all away forces us to find little hits of dopamine in things that are more" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "impactful in our daily lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then soon we ll be able to release more dopamine from those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, there s a whole lot of like science debate on how it actually works inside of the brain and body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was sort of proven that the name of it was kind of bullshit and the whole concept and what people were selling when it came to the dopamine detox that it was sort of bullshit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it turned it into somewhat of a fad and made it disappear out of the zeitgeist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you don t really see people talking about the dopamine detox anymore as much as they once were, which I actually think is a shame because I don t think that there should be something that s a fad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand that the science is kind of spotty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a fan of that either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it should be repackaged into something new, where the science is backed up, that people can revisit whenever they feel like they need it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think in theory, it s actually a really beneficial thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just reminded me of there was another flaw with the dopamine detox, where it was at times considered to be too extreme." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the rules vary depending on, you know, what website you went on or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with some, it was like no reading books, no listening to music, certain things that are arguably like not that big of a distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, music, I guess, is sort of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s maybe a more controversial one with this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like some would argue like music is distracting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s better to have complete silence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re doing a full detox, I could see value in that because music can sometimes prevent you from, from reflecting and stuff and being fully bored." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, that one s kind of debatable or like saying that, you know, you re not allowed to eat any sugar." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not allowed to eat out at any restaurants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, if you want to do a dopamine detox, quote unquote, for," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "three weeks, the rules need to be a bit more realistic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what if you want to go out and eat with friends?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what if they order cake and like, yeah, you can have a fucking, you can have some of the cake." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it just feels too extreme to be realistic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for some people, which I think is also a flaw with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s scientific flaws and then there s also like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "flaws with how extreme the rules can be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, I don t know, I think it s something that should be revisited though because I think that there is value to it regardless of the incorrect science and regardless of the optional extreme rules." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to Harvard s website, they describe the concept of the dopamine detox as something that helps you to, instead of automatically responding to these reward-inducing cues, like text messages or Instagram notifications or TikTok notifications, blah, blah, blah, which provide us with an immediate but short-lived charge, we ought to allow our brains to take breaks and reset from this potentially" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "addictive bombardment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The idea is that by allowing ourselves to feel lonely or bored or to find pleasure," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in doing simpler and more natural activities, we will regain control of our lives and be better able to address compulsive behaviors that may be interfering with our happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Based on my experience with doing it a year ago, that was kind of true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was genuinely what happened to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s the thing, like the dopamine detox, I wish that it had a different name because that name has absolutely no respect on it, but I want to do it again and I think I m going to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I think I wanna do it for longer, I m thinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I wanna change the rules to fit my life better, but I think I m gonna do it again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason for that is because I know that I need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think by doing a longer but less strict version of it, I ll learn more about what s sustainable for my life" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so that maybe some of these habits will stick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I think that was the problem last time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The rules were maybe a little too strict, so I couldn t continue the detox, if you will, for as long as maybe I needed to, to build some new habits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that, I didn t really have a plan for what I was going to do after the detox, if you will, ended." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then it just all kind of went to shit after that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not quite solid on what my detox sort of plan is, because I m also kind of confused." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, should I try to just make new rules for my life, period?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that feels, when I look at it, like so extreme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, to have rules in my life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that realistic?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that something I m actually going to stick to?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that even fair to myself?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making excuses about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, Oh, maybe like, do I need to have rules or should I just do a detox for a longer period of time?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like, am I gonna, am I setting myself up for failure by setting up indefinite rules?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, maybe not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then again, it s also like saying, am I setting myself up for failure?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s up to me how I handle the failure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say I create a set of rules for myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I only order food delivery on weekends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I only go on social media when I m posting something on social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I m posting something on Instagram, then, you know, I can scroll around for a little bit and then I m done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I will not be on Instagram again until the next time I have something to post." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or in the car, or when I m walking around the house, I m not allowed to listen to anyone talking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can t listen to podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t listen to YouTube video." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only can listen to music." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like are those rules too strict?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And are those also preventing me from possibly benefiting from YouTube in a way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love, and sometimes it s educational." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s not, depends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say it s like 60% of what I listen to and watch is educational, which is not bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then the other 40% is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, okay, I ve learned a lot from things that I ve been listening to on YouTube and on podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I simply remove and not allow myself to watch the things that are not educational and are simply just entertainment?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I save those for another time?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I only let myself consume that stuff on the weekends?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still trying to figure out sort of the rules and I m also trying to figure out if it s a detox or if it s" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just a lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I m talking about it now, I m starting to feel like I think it needs to just be a lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s try to figure out what the rules are together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might be boring for you, but I don t, this is useful for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s, let s indulge in this together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love eating out at restaurants so much and I find that experience to be so magical." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also find it to be very present." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love being present at a restaurant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I get to interact with the servers and like, I just, I love that experience and I love, I never, I rarely go and eat at a restaurant alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s usually a time that I get to bond with friends or family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love eating at a restaurant so much that I m not going to give myself any rules or restrictions on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I also don t do it as often." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually something I do on the weekends anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like a special occasion thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, food delivery, I think needs rules." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m going to make the rule." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might seem a bit extreme, but I think that it s something I can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to say no food delivery when alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like if I m with friends or my parents are visiting and we re hanging out and we re like doing a puzzle or something in my living room," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to be like, hey, guys, let s pick up and let s go to a restaurant now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s fun to hang out with people and order food in because we re all already together in my house and we re doing another activity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m gonna make the rule, no food delivery when alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I m alone, I have to either cook or go and eat at a restaurant by myself, which I actually love doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did that recently when I was on a trip in New York." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like fully went to a sit down restaurant by myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, is this gonna be kind of weird?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I haven t done this in a really long time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was fucking phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just sat there eavesdropping on other people s conversations on accident." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t trying to, it just was inevitable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t help it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I forced myself to not go on my phone too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did go on my phone a little bit, but not that much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a rule that I think I can stick to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The next one is YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I going to do with YouTube?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think with YouTube, the rule should be as follows." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I know what the rule is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No YouTube at all before my work for the day is done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when I m eating lunch and I want to watch something, even when I m doing a little chore in the middle of the day, like, you know, putting my dishes away in the dishwasher or something like whatever, or folding my laundry, like it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when I m doing chores, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "YouTube, no podcast, no talking, music only." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then limit myself to only consuming educational content after that, during the week." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s just all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, because sometimes you got to watch fun shit on YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on, like on, maybe I save it for the weekends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so here s my YouTube rule, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "During the week, no YouTube before work is done, and then once work is done, only educational content." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on the weekends only allowed to watch YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can watch any YouTube I want, but I m only going to allow myself to watch it once the sun is down so that during the day I m forced to go and do something else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not going to allow myself to just rot inside all day and watch YouTube like I enjoy to do a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a personal rule." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some of you, this might be too strict." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I think I need this rule because I think it ll be good for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, now we have social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, this is like Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like reels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like YouTube shorts, which is weirdly more like social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This one s been the toughest one to have boundaries with and I m starting to think I just need to have really rigid boundaries because I get so addicted to social media more than most people I think, like more than a lot of people I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really get sucked in where I just am like, doom scrolling on my explore page on Instagram for like, I just have a horrible relationship with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s something I need to fix something I need to work on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love Instagram as a platform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I find a lot of inspiring things on there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I find a lot of amazing things on there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I have yet to build a healthy relationship with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think I need to go a more extreme route for now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that my extreme route is honestly, I think I only am going to post on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m going to post on it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when I post things, I can, you know, go and read comments and interact and like, you know, enjoy that experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe go and check in on people, like some friends on those days when I post." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in those moments that I post, like maybe I give myself, you know what it is?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the rule, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This sounds like I m literally like a fucking mom, like giving rules for my toddler, but here it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m the toddler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only am I the mom, but I m also the toddler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the rule." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m only going to allow myself to go on social media when I post." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I post, I set a 30 minute timer, a whole 30 minutes to do whatever I want." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can go stalk whoever the fuck I want." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can do whatever I want for that 30 minute period after I post." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then once that 30 minute timer is up, I m not going on it again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I have to be this extreme because I ve been more lenient in the past and I just find myself slipping into these routines where it s just like any down moment I have, I m on Instagram, I m looking, I m scrolling, I m whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does not make me feel good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not strong enough to have a healthy relationship with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to really give that a try." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I have any issues with like, I don t have any issues with video games." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my alcohol consumption is pretty, it s pretty rare." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not rare necessarily, but it s, it s once a week, once every two weeks, maybe on a day on the weekend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t, I don t think I need to touch that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think I m good there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think there s anything else I need to, like, refrain from doing, but rather I think I need a few more rules for things that I need to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I do think I need to read 10 pages of a book every day minimum." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Minimum." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I decided when I was writing this outline last night, I was like, you know, I m just going to stop going on social media now until I post, you know, like unless I post." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for the last 12 hours I ve been fighting, I ve been like wanting to go on social media so bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I m on the toilet, I just want to go on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to start looking at reels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what I ve been doing instead?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going on the app, the book app on my phone and reading." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not reading a full chapter, but I m reading a book that I already had started from, like, literally eight months ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And thank God I remember the plot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know what s happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just could jump back in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it kind of replaces it to, like, just read the book on the phone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve tried that method before, but I fell off of it, of course." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think it s going to be hard for me to read 10 pages a day if I have nothing better to do when I m on the toilet, or I m waiting in line at the dentist s office, or I m bored in bed and don t know what to do and have thought enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is realistic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s a good goal, too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "10 pages of a book a day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think I need to start going outside more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I need to be outside for 30 minutes a day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could work out there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could read a book out there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could go for a 30 minute walk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do not go outside enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of my work is indoors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on my computer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing all this shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when I work out, like my exercise routines are all indoors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do indoor classes and things of that sort." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like I just need to get myself outside for at least 30 minutes a day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that would be really good for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that that s sort of the rules." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I ve been sort of talking this through with you, I m realizing, I think that this isn t a cleanse." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this is just, it starts today and I need to just fucking do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to stop making excuses and I need to stop giving an end date and I need to stop doing all these things because I really do think that this will benefit my life in so many ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m taking control of my internet addiction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here we are trying to better ourselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know I sound like a broken record because I ve talked about this a lot of times before, but I think that this is one of the hardest things to kick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that there are some of you out there who are like, oh my God, I m dealing with the same thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll do this too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll create my own set of rules and really get a handle on this shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s where I m at." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll let you all know how it goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sort of started yesterday and I did sort of fuck up this morning because I did watch, it was at least educational, but I did watch something educational while I was eating my breakfast." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I want to stop doing that because guess what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t done with my work for the day yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started to get sucked down the YouTube rabbit hole where I was like, oh my God, I m watching this interesting stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to watch more of this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that gets in the way of me getting my work started." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anywho." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll let you all know how it goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is something that we all are battling, I think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to stop the conversation is the less cringey option." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more cringey to continue to have this conversation because it feels so played out and old." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and just done, but I think it is an important conversation to have, and here I am still having it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s all I have for this week." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you all enjoyed working through that with me and discussing that with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re also on TikTok now if you want to find us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not on TikTok, but anythinggoes is, so you can find anythinggoes on there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain or me on YouTube at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if not, you can order us straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you in a few days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just adore all of you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so grateful that you listen and hang out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Stanley Cup has been a hot topic of conversation now for probably a few months, and rightfully so, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This cup has taken over the world, it feels like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not the world, but at least America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an insulated cup with a straw in it that holds something like 42 ounces of liquid in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has a handle, and it comes in a slew of beautiful colors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This cup has taken the world by storm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Moms, dads, more moms, but still dads too, and kids alike are all frothing over this cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s spanning all ages, the lore of the Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, my relationship to the Stanley Cup mirrors what s happening in culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love my fucking Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I have multiple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love my Stanley Cups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It keeps my ice cold all day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has a handle and a straw for ease of drink." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It fits in my cup holder in my car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The little top of the lid holds things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I need to put like my earrings somewhere, I can just put them in the top of my Stanley cup and they just sit comfortably there until I need to put them elsewhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love this fucking cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is almost like an added limb for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the Stanley Cup, it s not all sunshine and rainbows, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As with all things that go mainstream, now people fucking hate this cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like with pop music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s always gonna be people who don t like it, who think it s corny, who think it s too easy to digest, who think it lacks creativity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With anything that goes big, it s gonna be polarizing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s been said about the Stanley Cup is that it s choogy, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chuggy is a slang term that describes someone or something as uncool, outdated, or lacking in style and originality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can also mean that someone is out of touch with current trends or trying too hard to be trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of people are saying that the Stanley Cup is chuggy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it, but I don t care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the Stanley Cup anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the last few weeks, I ve seen a lot of Stanley Cup slander on the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People hating on this cup, hating on the culture around this cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I kind of understand the hate around the culture of this cup because it s becoming a status symbol and people are like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fighting each other, trying to get the new colors in the store like it s Black Friday in 2013." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I get the criticism." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is taking it a step too far myself, but I still love this fucking cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, all this slander around the Stanley Cup, all of these claims that the Stanley Cup is choogy has inspired me to look inward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "figure out what other things I love that are choogy because I think a lot of us are afraid of being choogy, myself included." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, does anyone want to seem like they re trying too hard?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does anyone want to be uncool?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like no one s goal is like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be uncool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I wanna be a try-hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not on anyone s 2024 goals list, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I think that there is something weirdly cool about liking things that are choogy in an unapologetic way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s some really incredible things that are considered choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today, I wanna talk about all the things that I love that are choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I already sort of went on my rant about the Stanley Cup, so that was my first item, but I think that we ve said enough there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, no, we haven t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just gonna say one more thing about the Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I truly do believe that this is a timeless item." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hear me out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I use my Stanley Cup every single day, and even when it s not cool anymore, it s already not cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I m gonna be onto the next cup, because it s not about that for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this cup," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is the most useful cup I ve ever used." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I enjoy these cups simply because they are a phenomenal product, not because they re trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of people feel that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone, but I think a lot of people feel that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is why I don t feel like they re just some stupid trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the quality is way too high." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The design is way too smart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just done way too well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, I just think it s a timeless cup that I m going to use for years to come." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when a new cup comes along, if the new cup is better, okay, maybe, but I can t imagine a new, better cup coming onto the market anytime soon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s more functional than this one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "does everything I need it to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I don t know, we ll see, but I think it s a timeless cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I was on a road trip recently and I stopped at some gas stations that had gift shops and I was looking around at all this stuff and I was like, wow, all of this is chewggy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we have magnets with inspirational quotes, we have" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "cowboy hats that are like all bedazzled we have wind chimes that are like holographic and shit and we have like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "little wooden sculptures like of animals and we have baseball caps that have quotes on them and we have all this shit right and every single time I stopped at one of these gift shops I spent at least an hour looking at everything and there were moments when I found things that I actually really liked" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, there were some corny hats where I was like, I m holding back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I want to buy this, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some corny magnets that were appealing to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, like, you know, a funny one that s like, I don t know, like a magnet of someone sneaking tequila into their coffee." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, that s classic me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never done that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, it s like, wow, I love tequila." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love coffee." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so funny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The little wooden sculptures of animals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you know what, I ll admit it, I bought one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I bought two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bought one for me and I bought one for my mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they a little choogy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bought home decor from the gas station, but like, there s something so charming about little items that you can get at a gift shop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a majority of it is corny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of it is choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d argue 95%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, there s something so magical about this trademark chugginess that comes from touristy gift shops that I actually love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only do I love looking at all of it, but every once in a while I ll find something that I think could fit into my life in one way or another, and it s always something that I cherish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love touristy gift shops." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you ll find shit that s actually cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A few summers ago when I was in the south of France, there were like, those were not choogy at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, there was nothing choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they would be choogy to people who live in the south of France." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As an American, it was not cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like buying everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s sort of that s a rare example of it being cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of the time it s shitty and it s cringe and it s choogy, but I fucking love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, we have actually a very gift shop" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "heavy place, Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gone through phases throughout my life with Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was a kid, I fucking loved it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I absolutely adored Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My family friends were a full Disney family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they had" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "some sort of Disney membership, so they had year-round tickets, every single Christmas card that they sent out was a Disney Christmas card, they had Disney paraphernalia all over the house, they like knew the people at the front desk of the Disneyland Hotel, like they were" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the epitome of a Disney family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a few times they took me and my parents to Disneyland with them for a fun little trip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that there s anything more magical than Disney for a child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it s obvious, but it is really magical, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have this vivid memory of staying in the hotel that s on the Disneyland Park premises and every night they would leave a little chocolate coin under my pillow that had a little Disney character on it and I would eat that before bed and then I d wake up in the morning and I d go down for breakfast and like I d be eating my breakfast and then all of a sudden" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mickey Mouse would come over and say, what are you eating?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would, it was amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, fuck, it was amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I loved Disney as a kid, of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then as I got older, I started to realize, okay, wait, this is actually kind of cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Disney adults became a negative description" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of a person and throughout my teen, young adult years, I ve not returned to Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Recently I realized, I don t hate Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just hate Disneyland because it s cool to hate Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cool to be like, no, that s for babies, bro." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a big kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to the fucking club and I m doing shots on someone s boobs and like, fuck, fuck Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t go to Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to Urban Outfitters." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, no, Disneyland is fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s fun food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The roller coasters don t feel scary, which is amazing for me, because I have way too much anxiety to go on a roller coaster that goes upside down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not interested in that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Roller coasters at Disneyland are amazing for adults and for kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not scary, but they re still exhilarating, I think, from what I can remember." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been a while, but I think, now that I m an adult," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could get drunk at Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds like an absolute treat." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not too drunk, though, because I want to make sure that I m properly clicking myself into the roller coasters and things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have this vision in my head of my friends and I going to Disneyland for two days, maybe staying a night at the hotel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that sounds absolutely beautiful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds absolutely amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think I m ever going to be a Disney adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s ever going to be a part of my personality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s ever going to be a part of my identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I do love Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the essence of what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been lying to myself for all these years trying to be too cool for Disneyland." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love Disneyland and I can t wait to go back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that they will have me with open arms after my years of hating on them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, this next one s going to be controversial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Infinity Scarves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hear me out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know infinity scarves were all the rage in like 2010." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re unfamiliar with what an infinity scarf is, imagine a scarf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just one big loop and you wrap it around your neck until it looks right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually once or twice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never thought I d be saying this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But infinity scarves are incredibly convenient and I think that they can be styled in a cool way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that we all think of infinity scarves and we think of 2014." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know the image that you all have in your head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I beg of you to rethink." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of a simple black infinity scarf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now think of it paired with a more modern 2024 outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the reason why I love infinity scarves, because they are incredibly convenient." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A regular scarf cannot even come close to the convenience of an infinity scarf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When the weather s cold and you re running around, like, I m thinking of myself running around New York City in January when it s fucking frigid, and I m thinking about," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my scarf blowing off my head, blowing off my shoulders every 30 seconds, having to retie it every 30 seconds, constantly fighting the scarf, never quite getting it right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I think about my days in 2014 wearing an infinity scarf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have any of those memories." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have memories of ease." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s similar to my feelings about a cross body bag." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cross body bags are not hot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not the cute little mini shoulder bag that everyone knows and loves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But cross body bags give you a convenience that is so unmatched." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that it makes them worth trying to make them feel modern and cool and trendy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with an infinity scarf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has a negative connotation, but I think that their convenience makes them something that should not be forgotten, should not be left in 2014." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next winter, because I m a little late to this, I didn t realize how much I loved infinity scarves until I tried to figure out what I loved that was chewy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Winter 2025." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Infinity scarves for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch it happen and watch it not look as bad as you think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might look a little bit bad, similar to a cross body bag, but I think it can be pulled off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So wish me luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, this is actually something that s honestly trendy now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s sort of pointless to mention, but it would be weird and honestly unprofessional if I didn t mention these because they are so hot in the topic of chugginess of boots." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ugg boots are fully trendy again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t feel like I need to convince you why you should appreciate Ugg boots because they re back in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, there s a larger conversation here happening with Ugg boots." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think the classic Ugg boot, I m talking about the short ankle flat" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "neutral colored UGG boot is ever chuggy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my opinion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that those are timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that what tends to go chuggy is the other designs like from 2014 era, you know, the UGG boots that had the little bows on the back or the UGG boots that had the buttons, you know, like they buttoned up the side of the leg or the UGG boots that were really stylized were really," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of y all are not going to like this, but I think that the platform of boots are going to be chewy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might already be chuggy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t even think UGG boots as a whole are chuggy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s just the super stylized ones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually, I tend to prefer the classic UGG boot silhouette." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the classic short boot in the neutral colors, the boot that started it all, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do actually think those are timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of like a surfer dude wearing them and I m like, that ll never not be cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you saw a photo of a surfer dude wearing them after the surf, it s like that will never not be cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of somebody wearing like a simple UGG boot with a jean over it maybe and like a Carhartt jacket in a hoodie and like to me that s a timeless outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anyone s going to look back at that and be like, that s cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m wrong, but I really think that the classic Ugg boot is not actually that chewy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s these other ones that are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I m not even that big of a fan of these other ones, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really like the platform ones that much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never really got into those." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted them for like a minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like my classic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t like the ones that are chewy from 2014." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess it s not that I think of boots are chewy and I love them anyway." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People lump in all the different styles of Ugg boots and then call them all chuggy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m here to say that there are some Ugg boots that are not chuggy and they re the ones that I like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, that is so talky of me, but you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, we have a shoe again that I ve talked about before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Boat shoes like Sperry s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think of middle school, high school, preppy kid, I think of vineyard vines and I think of sparrows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know a lot of us think that sparrows are chewy because in a lot of ways," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They sort of are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I, a few months back, predicted that boat shoes were going to be trending." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I feel this in my bones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a psychic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel this in my bones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then a few months later, two or three months later, I m at the Miu Miu fashion show in Paris." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what I see on the goddamn runway?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Holy shit, it s boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has never happened to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll probably never happen to me again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a coincidence, but they re trending again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, they re still a polarizing shoe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though they re starting to make their way back into the zeitgeist, they re not quite there yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re considered choogy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do think that Sperry s are a timeless shoe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that they re considered chuggy, but I actually think what s chuggy about the boat shoe is how they re styled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, a lot of times you see people wearing a Sperry boat shoe with, you know, like a pastel pair of little mini shorts and like a pastel button down and it s like a frat dude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That look as a whole is chuggy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not a timeless look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, sometimes it can work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it can be timeless, but it depends on what color." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it depends on what colors or patterns are used." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s a lot of nuance, but like, I think a lot of times the reason why sparrows get a bad rep is because they re just styled badly, you know, in a non timeless, choogy way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m here to say that it s a classic shoe, and I think that it can be styled in a cool way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also think that they re not inherently shoegy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think we all have it all wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re not actually shoegy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you really think about the boat shoe, it s a classic shoe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of like a loafer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s timeless like a loafer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are certain styles of loafers" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that are not timeless, but I think the classic penny loafer is timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the classic brown Sperry boat shoe is timeless, or something similar to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t have to be Sperry, but you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The classic simple Ugg boot, original Ugg boot is timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things I think are timeless, and I don t think they re choogy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they just got wrapped up in other trends that are choogy, and that s what left them in the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, one time, Sperry s had to do a post, I think, because people thought that they paid me to say that I thought boat shoes were coming back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That did not happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s paying me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would get sued if I said that, and then I didn t disclose it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not interested in fraud, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, if you re interested in fraud, find that elsewhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not coming from me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a law-abiding citizen, as often as I can be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, we have" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my last shoe apparently shoes are like very controversial oh my god wow I could list shoes all day now that I m thinking about it like what I was about to say was flip-flops but also like Merrells are kind of coming back into style even though those are considered chuggy and those don t really bother me those actually might be timeless I can t tell but anyway let s stick to flip-flops because I haven t really given enough thought" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to Merrell s and I also don t love them, like I don t adore them, so maybe they don t get a mention today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like them, but I m not like passionate, whereas I m passionate about flip flops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last summer I rediscovered the flip flop and I was like, no, this is not Chugi." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought it was Chugi for years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately it s a classic sandal and it s the only sandal to me that s not Chugi." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even kind of over the Birkenstock sandal that has the double strap over the top of the foot, I still love the Birkenstock clog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not choogy to me yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still like it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The flip-flop though, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m kind of into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it might be a timeless sandal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sandals are tough to begin with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all a little chuggy, but flip-flops are chuggy in a way that I like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I like the cringy snapping sound that they make when you walk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the little tan that you get on your foot when you re wearing flip-flops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like how they look with jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like how they look with a cute little pair of, like, Bermuda shorts that goes down to your knees." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I kinda fuck with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are some people who are gonna think that flip-flops are still choogy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that they re the best summer sandal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That reveal toe, anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emojis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Using emojis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "talking about emojis, emoji usage is considered choogy, especially when it s overdone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am an emoji overuser." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I have a reason for this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I use emojis" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the way that God intended, which is to add more dimension to my text message, to tell more of a story, to demonstrate more of my emotions, to allow the other person to understand my tone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emojis are incredibly helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re simply fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we give ourselves that for a minute?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emojis are fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fun to use." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun to scroll through the emoji catalog when writing a text and to choose the one that works just right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, is that fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I understand why it s choogy and cringy to use too many emojis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s something that, you know, adults do to try to be cool, to fit in with the kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all the kids are using emojis these days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to use emojis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they use emojis that are cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, and they overuse them and they send too many." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, not only are they fun," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only are they helpful to demonstrate tone, but they re just simply there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why not?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why not use them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love emojis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going and watching the emoji movie." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t seen that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I did hear it was kind of good from a usually sarcastic source." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So actually I need to ask them again if they actually liked it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, I love emojis and I love overusing them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have horrible, choogy television." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you some examples." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ink Masters, a tattoo competition show where contestants compete to win to be the best tattoo artist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the show, if you Google it right now, it s very chuggy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, then we also have Drinkmasters, a show where mixologists, bartenders, compete to be the best bartender mixologist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way that that show is shot and done, it s very chuggy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we have shows like Is It Cake?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on Netflix, where it s a show where" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these people make things, make cakes that are supposed to look like real things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s like a game show trying to figure out what s real and what s cake and who can make the best cake that looks the most like a real thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And anyway, all of these shows that are not necessarily cool, like, okay, what s a cool show?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Game of Thrones or White Lotus or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even like Breaking Bad or something, I don t know, shows that are considered cool to like, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These shows are not that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look up any of these shows, you ll be like, this is choogy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s trying too hard to be funny at times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s shot in a way that s just choogy, like overly saturated and dramatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, it s just choogy, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry, but nothing tames my anxiety better than this type of television." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, do I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the other day I was having dinner with someone and they were like, can we watch TV?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a treat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turn on the TV." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, what should we watch?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, ugh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m kind of scrolling around and I see the show, Is It Cake?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were like, Emma, are you fucking with me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, mm, mm, please." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was kind of anxious that day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, this just looks good to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chugi TV, OK?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you what s so great about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, the cast of characters in these shows are always so comforting for some reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re normal, chill, cool people who just are really good at one thing, and they tend to just be sweet, and they don t make you feel insecure about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re always very comforting people, whereas if you go and watch Game of Thrones, there s all these hot people in it, and everyone s in these dramatic costumes, and there s all this action." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s just not as approachable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s number one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, the subject matter is low stakes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you don t really care that much about the outcome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas you re watching game of thrones and you re like on the edge of your seat, like, Oh my God, what s going to happen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ah, what s going to happen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, great for anxiety." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The chugginess is actually what makes it entertaining as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s a novelty to when something s so chuggy that you re like, Oh my God, I can t take my eyes off because it s so chuggy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so, you know, like there s something engaging about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something fun about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love Choogi TV." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, VSCO." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is very full circle for me because I used to be a very, very, very active user of VSCO." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what VSCO is, it is a photo editing app as well as sort of a social media where you can post artsy photos or photography if you re a photographer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s pretty chill nowadays, like it s kind of under the radar these days, but used to be incredibly popular in like 2015, 2016, 2017." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody would go on there and edit their photos because it was the first app that had relatively high quality filters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like a fun place to post artsy photos when social media first started to become a place where everybody was like, wait a minute, I want to be artsy too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then everyone was artsy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like, everyone was expressing themselves for the first time through photo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was such a magical time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was so fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "VSCO was actually like a really fun social media app to be a part of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like it was almost always positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there was no comment section." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no follower count." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just all about cool photos." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I took my VSCO very seriously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a very curated feed and it was an obsession of mine in high school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my Instagram used to have super intense VSCO filters on them, like super heavily filtered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And eventually that fell out of favor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Using filters became choogy, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially Instagram filters, but VSCO filters as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It became choogy to over-filter your photo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m here to say that I still use VSCO to edit photos sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I still think it s a phenomenal app." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have amazing filters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, I m not a Photoshop like professional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never used Photoshop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t understand how to color grade on Photoshop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sure it d be helpful to learn and maybe at some point in my life I will, but I just never got around to it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think VSCO does great work for me, for Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t do it on my iPhone photos." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I take a photo on the iPhone, I don t usually edit it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I take a photo on one of my DSLR cameras, I m sorry, but I ll throw that shit into VSCO and I ll edit it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I definitely edit it with a lighter hand than I used to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not slapping the filter on and then calling it good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m lightening the filter a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making it a lot less intense, but I m still using this goat filters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they re great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve just changed the way that I ve used the filters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still find them very useful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get the viscose cheugy, but I love that shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have White Claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re unfamiliar with the White Claw, it is a very popular alcoholic seltzer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were very popular in like 2016, 2017." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, a lot of people think that white claws are chewy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like drinking a white claw is chewy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I understand why, because it had such a meteoric rise." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like the first really popular alcoholic seltzer in my generation anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It came out right when we were starting to drink." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gen Z was starting to drink." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just like exciting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re palatable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re refreshing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re pretty tasty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re tasty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like a white claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get that they re chooky because it became like a thing, like, oh, you re having a party, like, you got to get a pack of claws, like, everybody, oh, my God, we re getting claws, everybody get claws." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it became a thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, my God, I drink two white claws, now I m drunk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it became this sort of, it became such a part of the zeitgeist that naturally it eventually became chooky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like when anything becomes too popular, it becomes chooky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "similar to the Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still fuck with a white claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ll tell you a story, actually, that is so fond to me, and it s in regards to a white claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in New York recently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d never been on the Staten Island ferry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me, let me give you some clarity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been to New York a lot and there s a lot of things that I ve not tried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Prior to this trip that I m discussing now, I had not been on the subway before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had not been on the Staten Island ferry before, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those were two things that I did on that trip." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went on the subway for the first time, loved it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely loved it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I also went on the Staten Island ferry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, just sort of checking off some things on the bucket list." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So me and this person that I m with, we re like, like, should we like get a little snack or something to go on the ferry?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what should we do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what we see?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We see extra large white claws." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Huge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Huge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like double the size of a normal one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We buy those and we drink them on the side." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean that like, that s, I fucking love a white claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that memory of me being on the Staten Island Ferry, okay, it would have been nice without the white claw, but with the fucking white claw, it made it even better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They still bring me joy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They still give me a nice little buzz." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just like a white claw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sue me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, they re always a crowd pleaser." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone loves them when you re throwing a party, if you get them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I will say there are other seltzers that I prefer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I prefer a tequila seltzer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I m buying them for my house, am I going to go buy a White Claw?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not necessarily." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m probably going to buy some sort of tequila seltzer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I like a White Claw still, and I don t care that they re chewy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next we have pop sockets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I don t have a pop socket on my phone currently, but pop sockets were all the rage back in the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what they are, they re a little" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sticky thing that sticks to the back of your phone and they re retractable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like this little circular disc right on your phone but then if you pull out the disc it basically creates this sort of thing that you can grab onto with your fingers so that your phone sits more comfortably in your hand or you can" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, stand it up on a table more easily and it has something to be propped up on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, okay, whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, pop sockets became uncool over the last few years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They became chuggy over the last few years because again, I think that they just went too mainstream and then they naturally got rejected." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was thinking about it the other day and I was like, I would get another pop socket like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was actually a useful thing that I liked having on my phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was actually handy and it was actually useful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used it all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to play with it, like if I m waiting in the line at the grocery store, I d play with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really did allow my phone to sit more comfortably in my hand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could prop my phone up anywhere and watch YouTube, especially when I m eating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I m eating in my kitchen and I have a YouTube video playing on my phone or something, like I ll just plop the phone down and continue watching it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get that it s chuggy, but it s like kind of useful and I m actually thinking about ordering one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s extra chuggy when they re fashion accessory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I kind of can see where that s a little chuggy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, all right, let s relax." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s a pop socket." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just get a plain colored one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like let s relax." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that the invention as a whole, it s good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry, but it s good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everyone s been buying those cases that have the suction cups on the back that you can stick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to the wall or stick to basically any flat surface because they re useful for like filming a TikTok or filming, taking a photo and self-timer or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think those are more choogy than a pop socket because those are actually so fucking annoying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your phone sticks to everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You put your phone down and sticks to the table." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you stick the phone to the wall, sometimes it falls off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s less useful and more choogy to me than the pop socket." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is a hot take that I m willing to put out onto the internet because I m brave, unlike some people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I m the least brave." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like the most afraid to say a hot take." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s my hot take." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next, I love chewy restaurants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about Applebee s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about Red Robin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about Rainforest Cafe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about Chili s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is the food good?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it gonna give me an IBS flare-up after?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know what I m getting myself into when I eat at a restaurant like this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, there s something so appealing about them to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like sometimes being in a random, like I live in LA where there s so much food and so much good food." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so fortunate to have that because it s just, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s so many amazing restaurants here and you know, a lot of like small businesses, like cool, like, uh," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "one-off restaurants, you get it, you know, it s a big city, it has that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas there are some cities in the United States that don t have that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all these chains, all these restaurants that are considered choogy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the Applebee s, the Chili s, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that these restaurants are chewy because they sort of have like a early 2000s outdated aesthetic and the food is also kind of outdated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the menu is not, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like nowadays people are just eating" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, where s the kombucha on the menu or something?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe, yeah, that s just very LA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m in the LA bubble." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that that might be like, I don t know, impacting my, my perspective." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But regardless, these restaurants are considered to be chewy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in some places in the United States, like those are the restaurants and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love like being on a road trip and being hungry and being like, let s go to Applebee s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is so fucking fun to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it might only be fun because it s a novelty for me because I don t go to Applebee s in Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even something like a cheesecake factory, so chewy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The decor is choogy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything about it s choogy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fact that the menu is like fucking 40 pages long, that s choogy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the Cheesecake Factory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I would go tonight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if someone wants to go with me tonight, I ll go tonight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that shit for some reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I can t figure out why." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be because it s a novelty, because it s not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something that I go to often." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I associate it more with like a road trip and kind of being in the middle of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the only option." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also I like the fact that it s not fancy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the fact that the menu is like, super American, and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like kind of gross sometimes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like how..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dramatic it is like these types of restaurants will have like boom pow ultimate loaded nachos or like the drink menu will be like tropical dolphin blue sunrise magic show magician explosion and it s like fuck yes this is fun like this shit s fun i don t know there s just something fun about it and the food can be kind of good too like sometimes it s kind of gross but sometimes it s actually kind of good so" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just an experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fun experience, at least for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I love Chugi Restaurants." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, on the opposite end of the spectrum here, we have Smoothie Bowls." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Smoothie Bowls were all the rage mid-2010s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s putting their Smoothie Bowl on their Instagram." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a whole thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very aesthetic food." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to eat them all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as with all things, when they go mass, they become chewy later when they re not cool anymore and no one s ordering them anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry though." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single time I have a smoothie bowl, it s fucking delectable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s delectable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s delicious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so tasty, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people say, like, just get a normal smoothie." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the smoothie bowl s so extra, it s like a deconstructed smoothie." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, just get a fucking smoothie and grow up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No!" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop telling me what to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the diverse texture that a smoothie bowl provides." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like I m getting a little crunch with the granola." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that I m getting a little bit of chewiness from some peanut butter on top." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like that I m getting a crunchy strawberry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, not crunchy, but sort of firm strawberry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like that I m getting a creamy banana chunk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like this experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like smoothie bowls." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry, they re tasty and they are beautiful to look at." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been thinking recently that I want to start getting smoothie bowls more because I like them and they re tasty." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are my favorite chewy things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably forgot a bunch because I think deep down I am maybe chewy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, we like what we like, and if it happens to be choogy, so what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of choogy things that I don t like, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I don t like skinny jeans." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like things that have sequins on them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like a side part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like cringy quotes on the wall." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to have those in my house growing up, at my mom s house, not at my dad s house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, my parents got divorced, my mom got an apartment, and she filled the walls with things that had cringy quotes on them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just what happens with divorce." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad probably would not have... He would have allowed it if it made her happy, I think, but I just don t think it would have happened otherwise." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, well, he s also an artist." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, he would be like, can we please put my paintings up on the wall?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this thing that says home is where the critters are is, like, not... It s bringing me down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just confusing me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just upsetting me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I mean, he s so nice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He would ve been fine with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But still, I m going off on a tangent, but there are a lot of choogy things that I don t like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, through looking internally and realizing things that I enjoy that are choogy," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m better able to accept those who enjoy things that I still believe are chewy and are not my taste, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just better helping me accept others." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that I ever didn t, but now I m even better at it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what a beautiful thing that is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on that note, that s all I have to say for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that you all enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you get podcasts, although video is exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything Goes is a TikTok now too, so you can go and find that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a TikTok, but Anything Goes does." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll see how that is for my psyche." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Still not going to have the app on my phone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a story for another day, but you can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain or follow me on YouTube at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, you can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look on the store locator online, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If not, order online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chamberlain Coffee will show up straight to your door if you so please." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always a pleasure and it s always a treat and I just love you all and appreciate you all and I hope that you re having a phenomenal day and if you re not then I hope soon you have a phenomenal day and I know you will." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I love you and I ll talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye!" } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that it s incredibly beneficial to check in every once in a while and figure out the ways that you are toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now don t feel attacked, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we re all a little toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t get through life without being a little bit toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are levels to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are far more toxic than others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also different types of toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like some people are more toxic to themselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other people are more toxic to the people around them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s neither here nor there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone is a little bit toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think to deny that everyone s a little toxic is to create a problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you choose to turn a blind eye to the ways that you re toxic and to the ways that other people are toxic, people you love maybe, how are you able to improve and grow?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this to say, I ve decided to make a list of all the ways that I m currently toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And today I m going to be sharing them with you because I think that this will be beneficial for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe it ll make you feel better about looking inward and figuring out the ways that you re toxic because there s nothing wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very easy to be avoidant when it comes to our own toxic traits because a lot of times people don t confront us about them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times we can blame our toxic traits on other people or various things in our lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sometimes our toxic traits only impact us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So no one else even knows about these toxic traits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only one who can confront us is us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of reasons why it s challenging to address our toxic traits, but it s so healthy and it s so crucial and it s so good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today I m going to be going through my toxic traits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of them are worse than others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of them are really no big deal and some of them are far worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and far more harmful for me or maybe even for others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m going to lay it all out for you today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m also going to brainstorm some ways that I can fix these toxic traits, because what s the point of listing them without brainstorming a solution?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that in itself is toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, I think my most toxic trait is that I love, love gossip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love gossip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry to myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry to everyone around me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry to you listening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel horrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve talked about this a little bit before because I do think that to an extent," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "gossip and drama can help teach you something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I ll call my mom up and just start talking shit about someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times through discussing it and through analyzing the person and the situation," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I end up further developing my own personality in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really don t ever want to be like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to drama, usually someone did something wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, discussing drama can help you" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, sort of figure out what you don t want to do with your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that gossip and drama is always bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I think that I love it a little bit too much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, I have a really hard time not watching drama videos on YouTube about just pop culture drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have a very hard time not watching stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might be thinking, Emma, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can watch that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s wrong with that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are what you consume, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I m consuming all these drama videos, I m a fucking emotional wreck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m scared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m depressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it does not leave my brain in a good place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that, I m filling my brain with pointless information." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pop culture drama absolutely benefits me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Zero." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I benefit in no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But alas, if it was up to me, that s all I d watch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It scratches an itch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a distraction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s also something comforting about, I don t know, and this is so fucked up and I hate to admit this, but we re really having an open day today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re really getting shit off our chest today, so here I go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that there is something sort of comforting about seeing drama happening with other people because it makes me feel like my life is less bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t like the idea of me in any way, shape or form, small or big, sort of finding comfort in other people s drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s not good vibes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really bad vibes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s negative for me in that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think, too, that socially, I do love" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love when somebody gives me a little piece of gossip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look forward to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, I gossip responsibly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I gossip responsibly majority of the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have moments where" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fuck up, particularly when I m under the influence of alcohol." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Suddenly anything s possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No conversations are off the table." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like suddenly here Emma is, she s ready to talk about whatever and gossip could be a part of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to be responsible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "keeping it to my close friends and close family, which is arguably safe and, I don t know, inconsequential." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think what s toxic about it is that sometimes I fall into rhythms where I m like, this is taking up too much of my conversation with others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like that all the time, but sometimes I fall into rhythms like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we all do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are very few people on this planet who don t gossip at all, who don t fall into that rhythm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to find something that I love more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only problem is gossip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s something about it that s so satisfying and so fascinating to me that I don t know what could stimulate me as much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and that s not good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I d love to say, Oh, I love talking about art." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that stimulates me equally as much as is gossip or drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m gonna be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love talking about music, art, you know, all of these soul enriching things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s something about a little gossip sesh that just gets me and I wish that I didn t like it as much as I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s just human to gossip in these ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe it s not as toxic as I feel it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a level of guilt that I have about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s one of my most toxic traits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, in an ideal world, I would never gossip at all, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the type of person I wish I was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s not even possible, and maybe that s not even healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess my relationship to gossiping and drama is what s unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I need to figure that out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t exactly know what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be finding something that mentally stimulates me just as much, that s maybe more positive in some way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can lean on that in conversation with my close family and friends or whatever, or when I m drunk with whoever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to make this clear though." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like stirring up drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not somebody who s like spreading rumors or like, or at least not intentionally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never intentionally want to create drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to be a part of it at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to be," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "400 miles away from the drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like to be in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like to start it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like to create it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like any of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate that, hate that, hate that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I love to hear about it from an arm s distance length, almost as though it s like a reality show." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like I m watching a reality show." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like nobody wants to be in The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, maybe some people, but not a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people just like to watch it and live vicariously from a safe distance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re in the drama, you re emotionally involved and you re stimulated by it, but there s no stakes because you re not involved at all, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s limiting the amount of gossiping I do and figuring out what that limit is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s not watching drama videos except for on weekends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s not watching them at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really know, but I will let you know how I fix my relationship with gossip and drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My next toxic trait is that I love connecting with people, telling stories," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being open and vulnerable and warm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s how I connect with people is by telling stories and trying to be a comforting energy to break down the walls of others so that everyone feels comfortable and happy and we can have fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only problem is, is that I ve found that at times I can take it too far." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, mainly when I m drunk and I can sort of use myself as like a punching bag and like tell stories that I actually don t really want to share for the sake of making someone else feel comfortable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will not necessarily even overshare, but share a story, like almost exploit myself in a way, like I ll exploit myself in my life in various" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stories as to make others feel comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times, not always, but at times I ll take it too far." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then later feel like I exploited myself as though I m two different people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, me in conversation, trying to disarm people and make people feel comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I then exploit my past self." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then maybe a few hours after the conversation, I regret," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like I kind of exposed myself a little too much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I feel uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was my doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my fault." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the other person doesn t feel uncomfortable with it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they were happy to have heard this story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were intrigued by this story, like whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then, in retrospect, I m like, I didn t want to talk about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, why did I do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They never asked me to talk about it, but I just exposed myself for the sake of their comfort." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they didn t even need that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t even ask for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something I need to work on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I just need to catch myself in the moment when I m about to tell a story that s somewhat personal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be like, wait a minute, does this feel right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I doing this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I telling this story?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I telling this story because I genuinely am excited to share it and I think this person will enjoy it and I think that they ll connect to it in some way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s share it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Green light." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a feeling if I start doing a quick mental check before I tell a story," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might stop myself sometimes, but I don t really do that right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look at my life and my experiences as just like a wide open book." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think at times that can leave me feeling as though I exploited myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I need to work on that, but hopefully everyone else enjoys it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next toxic trade." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a really hard time getting rid of clothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About two weeks ago, I went through my closet and," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "tried everything on and got rid of so much stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of it I ve had since I was like a teenager, like 18, 19, stuff that I have not worn in years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stuff that doesn t even fit me anymore way too small just collecting dust in my closet because I was like oh but I don t know like even though those jeans don t fit me anymore they re so cute and like I ll never fit them again and I know that but it s like they re so cute that it s like I can t get rid of them they re like a collector s item it s like no they re not a collector s item Emma they re just jeans they re literally just jeans yeah they re cute but like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "donate them and someone else will enjoy them what the fuck are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also was keeping stuff that like was my style from when I was a teenager and I m an adult now and I was keeping it because I was like oh but this is so nostalgic like I don t know maybe I ll want to wear it again or maybe it ll come back into style or whatever all this all these excuses I have for every single piece in my closet that I did not need or couldn t wear or wouldn t wear I had some sort of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stupid excuse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But meanwhile, my crowded closet was preventing me from getting dressed every morning in a way that was convenient and easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I would end up pulling out a pair of jeans and I put them on and they re too small." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I am looking through all my tops, trying to find one that I like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, all of them are from when I was like a teenager and I don t like any of them anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m trying to find the things that are my style now that I ve purchased more recently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t find them because they re drowning in stuff that I wore when I was 18." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, I m not going to wear," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the Argyle sweater vest from 2018 now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not my style now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I still have it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole point of having a collection of clothing is that you can go in and play and have fun getting dressed in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s the whole point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I couldn t even do that because I had all this shit that was no longer my style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that was just collecting dust in my closet, because I, for some reason, couldn t let go of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I end up getting to that point, like once a year, I feel like, where I have to scale down again and again and again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because I ve never gone back in and really been harsh with it to the level that I need to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s shit in there that does not need to be in there still, every time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know in my gut I need to get rid of it, because I m never going to wear it again, but there s something inside of me saying, no, this is special." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to keep this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My relationship to my clothing collection is arguably my only toxic relationship to material things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not as emotionally attached to anything else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have no issue getting rid of other stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about clothes, though, where I m very emotional with clothes, and so I tend to hoard them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which then makes the process of enjoying fashion harder for me because I feel cluttered and I can t find anything that matches my current style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the way I m going to fix that is by eventually really getting rid of all the stuff that I can no longer fit in or aren t, you know, comfortable to a point where I don t ever wear it or is it my style anymore?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I bought it when I was a teenager, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to really," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "get rid of all of that stuff for once and for all, stop making excuses, get down to zero with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then everything s going to really look up from there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, you know, I ve been playing around with the idea of wearing a uniform every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still on the fence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I really want to do it, but I also am afraid because I do love using clothing as a way to express myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I waste a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing it, and arguably it s not time well spent because it doesn t lead me to my ultimate goals in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I guess, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I had a uniform, though, I would never have to worry about that clutter again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this is a stupid issue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But bouncing off of that toxic trait, my next toxic trait sort of relates because it s also" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "regarding clothes, I need every outfit to match perfectly, including my pajamas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like right now, you d look at what I m wearing as I m recording this and you d be like, Emma, this is not an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares if it matches?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing orange pajama shorts that I wear every single day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re my favorite pajama shorts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re the only pajama shorts that I wear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like rusty orange." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m wearing a t-shirt, vintage t-shirt, super soft, super thin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m wearing white socks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would look at this outfit and you d be like, that s pajamas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s no, I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It matches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have two pairs of slippers because I m also, well, I m not wearing slippers right now, but they re next to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was wearing them before I started recording." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My entire outfit matches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My socks are white." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My shirt is white with the design on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The design on my shirt has quite a few colors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s like brown, green, rust, black, gray, blue, and then it s a white t-shirt as the base." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The white socks match the white shirt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s rust on my shirt, which brings out the rust in my fucking pajama shorts, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my slippers are gray because the gray looks better with this shirt than the black slippers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I go to a workout, I have to wear all black." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where I m at right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black shorts, black sports bra, black long sleeve, black puffer jacket, white sock, which kind of throws me off because there s no white anywhere else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it just feels like it s sticking out like a sore thumb, but you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s got to give, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m wearing my black slippers and then I ll change into my workout shoes later, but it s all a vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Black sunglasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It all matches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that s like in mundane ways, I m obsessed with making sure that my outfit always matches, but it goes far beyond that to a point that is toxic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d argue because it makes it so hard for me to get dressed in the morning and it also prevents me from experimenting with fashion sometimes because I m so obsessed with things matching and being balanced color wise that I end up not taking certain risks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every color must be pulled in in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, every once in a while I ll do a pop of color, but I m not going to do a pop of color unless it feels right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t even know how to explain it because it s almost like this little toxic game I have going on in my head that s so abstract that I can t even explain it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s one of those things where I look in the mirror and it just has to feel right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have certain rules about certain colors that I don t like going together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I even get particular about, like, the shade." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say I m wearing an all black outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the black pants are slightly more black than the black shirt that I m wearing, I ll freak out and I ll be like, I have to change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m telling you, this is toxic, OK?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is actually toxic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m admitting it to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also a freak about the hardware of what I m wearing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, all of my earrings must be, like, if I m wearing gold with my outfit, every single detail must be gold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The zipper on my jacket must be gold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My earrings must be gold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The hardware on my shoes must be gold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m wearing gold that day, everything has to be gold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m wearing silver one day, everything has to be silver." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The zipper on my bag." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem with this is that it s like I pigeonhole my style in a way because it s like I can only, there s only certain things I can wear with other things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s obsessive in a weird way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, part of me feels like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like, it s just my style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that is just my style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like things to match really well and that s, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s also a reason why I kind of want to wear a uniform because I m like, if I can find a black pair of pants and a black sweater that matched perfectly and a black shoe and a black bag and I can wear it and it all has silver hardware and I can just wear silver all the time, then there s a uniform and I never have to deal with matching an outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I take it too seriously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not that deep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re getting dressed, for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to a workout class, for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no one cares." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some odd, toxic reason, I care, and it absolutely tortures me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sort of leads me to my next toxic trait also in regards to my outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot leave the house unless my outfit feels perfect for the occasion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I feel overdressed, like if I pick out an outfit and then I suddenly have the epiphany that I m overdressed, I could be an hour and a half late and I ll be like, I, which I m rare, by the way, I m never late." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so anal about being early." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or on time, that it tortures me, which is also kind of a toxic trait because, yeah, it s it sounds good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me like complimenting myself, me being like, I m always on time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so toxic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so annoying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but it s toxic how much anxiety like I ll have a panic attack if I m late." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s stupid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I m a human being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we re all human beings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re a little late sometimes, it s fucking fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t need to get a full panic attack about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My heart doesn t need to be beating because I m 15 minutes late." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s toxic for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That makes my life miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, but that s not even on the list." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess now we just added something new." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a treat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, um," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, if I m if I m late, but I decide, oh, wait, my outfit is I feel like I m overdressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, this is too much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll have to start from scratch and start over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if for some reason my clothes like don t feel comfortable enough, like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so particular about my clothes feeling comfortable on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason for that is because I don t feel like I m able to fully be myself and be present and just enjoy the moment if my clothes are uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s say I m on my period and my favorite pair of jeans are like too tight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might look normal, but they feel bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t leave the house wearing pants like that because that s all I m going to be thinking about all night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are some people I know who" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for some reason, just have mental strength in that capacity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can go out wearing uncomfortable high heels, they can have blisters, their feet are all ripped up, and you d never know it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are sharp as ever, funny as ever, themselves as ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I admire that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think leaving the house in an outfit for me is so challenging because I m like, I m balancing all of these different preferences that are so strong that it s hard for me to get dressed and leave the house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, because I m trying to make sure that the colors are all balanced, but I m also trying to make sure that everything fits comfortably so that I m not going to be thinking about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m also making sure I m not overdressed or underdressed because I always overthink that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like there s so much to balance there that it s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this is making me think I just need to start dressing in a uniform for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to set myself free from that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe if I dressed in a uniform for like a year and just wore the same like two or three outfits every day, I would sort of learn to release" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all of these, I don t know, like really strong preferences that end up being toxic in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, making that jump is scary for somebody who likes fashion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s, we ll see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shall see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, but this actually, this toxic trait is the one that made me want to make this episode because, okay, let me explain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone has a good side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, some people don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those people are so lucky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people have a good side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have a side of their face that they prefer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s a little bit more extreme." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the right side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel confident with the right side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve grown to love the right side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The left side of my face, however," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not come to love yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the future, I would love to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s a goal for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so insecure of the left side of my face that I ve gotten to a point, and maybe this is also as a result of working in this industry and becoming hyper aware of my appearance because, you know, I m on camera a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I see myself a lot and I see the imperfections." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for fuck s sake, cameras emphasize imperfections more than you could even know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, no, you do know you actually we all know we all take photos of ourselves all the time on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like whether you re in front of the camera a lot or not, you re at least in front of the camera sometimes because we all are in today s day and age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cameras can really like emphasize our insecurities and I m very insecure about the left side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, it really bothers me and I have this, this is so embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is fucking toxic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to sit on the left side of people at a dinner or in any scenario so that everyone s looking at the right side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I m sitting passenger seat in the car with someone, I m like anxious about them looking at the left side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so toxic and so unfair to myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s a horrific thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so fucking stupid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so vain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no one cares that the left side of your face looks different than the right side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one, like, I don t think it looks as good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one else cares." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so vain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do think it developed from being in this industry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what s funny too?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, the craziest part is that I used to like the left side of my face better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That used to be my good side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How fucking ironic is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to hate the right side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it switched one day and now I like the right side and I hate the left side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all in my head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that I need to rise above it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it s been harder than... Like, I accept it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if someone s sitting on my left side, I m not gonna, like, freak out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m self-conscious, and I don t know how I m gonna get over it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, there are certain insecurities that are more consuming and like a deep seeded that are harder to shake, you know, and living in a time too, where, you know, there are so many," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "things available." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you don t like something about your face, you can go and fix it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s even harder to accept oneself in today s day and age because you can go and fix it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t want to go fix the left side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to fix." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the left side of my face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there s differences about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my nose kind of looks weird from the side, like my left lip, the left side of my lip is a bit smaller than the right side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also have like a deep wrinkle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it s so weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, could I go and get that fixed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could I go get like a little bit of filler in the left side of my lip?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could I go get Botox on like the left side of my face where I have" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like a deeper sort of smile line." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, probably." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so toxic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I I m sharing it because I think we all have shit like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also tend to be worse about this with guys that I m dating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "guys that I m dating are always very aware of this with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they know that like they need to sit on my, on my right side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, uh, they hate that about me, but I like, it s not, that s not charming." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not making them like me anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you that it s doing a lot and it s not doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s so fucked up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so embarrassing, but I m going to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not super tapped in on how I m going to fix that one, but I ll figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I give a lot of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of friends come to me for advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I give advice on this podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, I m not a professional advice giver, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I have pretty good advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t think like my advice is perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s advice is perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that I have decent enough advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am someone who people seek out for advice in, in my personal life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m not sure why that is or like how, how this came to be a thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can be a hypocrite though, because I know what s right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m good at giving advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People come to me for advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know how to handle a lot of situations in the right way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, you know, I mean, not everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trust me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have it all figured out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want, don t get it twisted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel like a lot of times I know the truth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I know if I were to have a clone and my clone were to come to me with a problem, I would know exactly what to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But following my own advice is something I can t always do, which makes me feel hypocritical and toxic because it s like I can spew advice all day long and honestly give people advice that I think is good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they were to follow it, I think they would be successful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t always even follow it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if that s hypocritical because I think now I think it is in a way it feels hypocritical to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, let s say someone s feeling really down in the dumps." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re just feeling off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re feeling like shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re feeling like they re in a rut and they re like, ah, like I just can t figure out like what s wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, okay, well how much are you using your phone?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like are you on social media a lot?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they re like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "yeah, I ve been, I m like doom scrolling all day long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, that s what it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remove that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And holy shit, you re going to feel so much better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I fall into periods of time where that exact thing happens to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my head, I know if I just stopped doom scrolling and I get off the phone and I tap out, I m going to feel so much better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes I don t have the," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "willpower to take my own advice, even when I know what would make me feel better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be, let s say someone comes to me and says, Emma, like, I really need to have this conversation with my significant other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re having a little issue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should I bring it up or should I just like let it go?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, my answer is always going to be communicate about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes if I m in a relationship, I am a coward and I will not bring shit up and I will let it fester." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, am I on the path to following all of my own advice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it human?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to to fuck up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it just feels wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, should I be giving advice that I can t even follow?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I guess it is still sort of beneficial because it s planting a seed that s positive, hopefully." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, I m not perfect at following my own advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that I should talk about that more when I give advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I do that to an extent, but I think I could do it more because I also think that makes it less toxic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re like, here s my advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what I know makes it feel better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I can t always do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you can t, I totally understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I, this is so embarrassing too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have a hard time drinking water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve been chronically dehydrated for probably my whole life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s made me drink more water is my water setup, which this is the most cringe shit you re ever going to hear in your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So just brace yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that cringe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be the judge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always have to have some sort of insulated water bottle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right now, it s the Stanley Cup because when my water is really cold, this is so cringe and so fucking stupid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my water is cold, I just drink more of it because it tastes better to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you have an insulated cup, the ice staying frozen, whatever, you know the drill." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s where it gets embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I buy these electrolytes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the brand is Ultima, the raspberry flavor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost exclusively drink water with this electrolyte powder in it because I think it tastes so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I looked into it cause I was like, Oh my God, can you drink too much of this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And can it be unhealthy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This particular brand, I mean, yeah, you don t want to overdo it, but you can, you can have like two or three servings of it a day and you re good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I like my little raspberry water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like all day I m drinking," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "water with this raspberry powder in it and it makes me drink so much more water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here s what s toxic about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a fucking adult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a 22 year old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I need raspberry powder in my water for me to drink more water?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I should just be drinking more water like a fucking adult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it shouldn t matter what cup it s coming out of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it shouldn t matter if it s cold." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s like, stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s just cringe and weird that I m so picky about my water and that I," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have such a specific water routine and that s how I can get water in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well, whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I m embarrassed about that and I think it s toxic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, this next one s actually kind of toxic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can get a little bit upset sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in certain scenarios, I can get angry a little bit when people copy me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, there are a lot of scenarios when I take it as flattery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like majority, honestly, majority of the time, it s flattering." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, sometimes it can really bother me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when it can bother me is when maybe someone else is getting credit for something that I did or came up with or whatever, or they copy me too close." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, okay, this is just crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is like too close, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not like random people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like obviously, you know, there s a whole sort of conversation happening online right now about copying because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, a lot of people who are public figures will, will do things, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Share them with the world and then get angry when people copy them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, hello, you put that out there for everyone to see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, they re going to copy you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re choosing to share something that you did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If people copy you, that s, that s not what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think when it bothers me is when," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe someone does it and, okay, I think there are a few scenarios when it bothers me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, when someone copies me who isn t supportive of me, that can sort of bother me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, maybe if someone copies me who s like a peer of mine," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, dude, that s a little too close." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That feels kind of weird to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that can bother me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can kind of make me angry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will combat that with like a level of flattery and just try to be flattered by it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it can bother me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I don t think copying it is is inherently bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I copy or mimic people that I admire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I try to do is like be open about it, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if like if I got it from somewhere and like I I always will try to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m unapologetic about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not going to deny it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll never deny it if I got the idea from somewhere, but people might get mad if I copy them or like took inspo from them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I bet there s people who get mad at me for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I maybe, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s, it probably goes both ways, but I do think it s toxic that sometimes it kind of rubs me the wrong way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I really shouldn t, why do I care?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I should just take it as a compliment and fucking move on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares what other people are doing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody likes something that I did and wants to do it, too, that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess it just bothers me when they re not on my team, when I can like when they re not on my team or when they re like a peer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s mainly within my peers, I think it s like if you re my peer and you re not maybe supportive of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then you re copying me and like denying it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that really bothers me and can trigger me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I just think it s toxic because I should just let it go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s, I don t own anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one owns anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I won t be giving examples." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next toxic trait." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before I poop in the morning," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am unable to exist normally at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t get dressed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sometimes I have to, but like, I won t want to get dressed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, I can t talk to anyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like most people are like, don t talk to me before my coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I ve already pooped, fucking talk to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to have had my coffee yet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s don t talk to me till I ve pooped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, which is so cringe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my God, I need to make a fucking t shirt with this on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t talk to me before I pooped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A banger would Wow, that would just that would just absolutely do so well on Etsy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I, I m just not functioning before I ve pooped." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have a very consistent routine every morning, immediately upon waking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So imagine it s like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my body s routine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anytime I deviate from that, I m a wreck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m an absolute wreck and I m not fun to be around." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not funny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be funny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be charismatic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can fake it as much as I can, but it s not, it s not convincing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all I can think about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I can t think about anything else cause I can like feel it and I m like, when is it going to happen?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to mention it because it s true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s toxic to be like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so like, like to be living by my poop schedule." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, this is ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to become a bit more mentally strong so that it s similar to like, wearing clothes that are uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That shouldn t impact me as much as it does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same sort of feeling of discomfort, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whenever I m in some sort of" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bodily discomfort." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, if I broke my foot right now, I don t even know if I would cry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve broken bones before and not cried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a high pain tolerance for extreme pain, but for subtle minor pain or minor discomfort, that bothers" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "me more, weirdly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like recently when I got a little procedure, I told a story about this on my episode called My Vagina, LOL, if you want to go listen to that, me just talking about my vagina for an hour, so that s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things are really looking up for me and my podcasting career." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making whole episodes about my vagina, so enjoy that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like when I got that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "surgery, like I, or not surgery." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it was kind of a surgery." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a minor surgery, but they like numbed me and then cut out a piece of my vagina." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go listen to that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that hurts so bad, especially the numbing part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when they were numbing it, holy fuck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, it was so painful, but weirdly managing that pain in the moment was almost easier for me than going a whole night, like wearing an uncomfortable pair of pants or like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "going all day without pooping." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I d rather deal with that really bad extreme pain than a subtle pain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it is weird that I m so stunted when I can t poop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, next, I m definitely toxic about my social media use." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve talked about this a lot, but I m so addicted to watching Instagram reels and YouTube shorts, YouTube shorts, too, because I don t have TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I deleted the app years ago, like two years ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m happy I did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No regrets there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I regret it in a way, though, because I m like, oh, it could be fun to make a TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it s like, oh, but there s such a addicting, toxic platform for me, like for me personally, that I just don t think it s good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then again, is it any better to be scrolling through Instagram Reels or YouTube Shorts?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s any better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s equally as addicting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a little less, but still addicting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to be the worst when I m really exhausted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If maybe I had a busy week or something, any minute that I have off, I m not using it to read a book." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not using it to..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, get a little bit more work done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why not?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on reels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on YouTube shorts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s wasting so much of my time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so pointless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so stupid." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like rotting my brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel my brain rotting when I m doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel so much guilt about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m in such a bad" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "routine with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is just constantly like it s a constant battle trying to not be addicted to it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet I just have never figured it out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve never gotten into a like a routine that sticks with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I know that it has a bad impact on my brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me feel anxious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me feel depressed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It triggers all of my negative" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "mental health issues." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It like makes all of it worse, but I cannot stop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is toxic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I love telling people like, oh my God, get off the internet, live in the real world, people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes you feel better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And meanwhile, it s like, I really try to take that advice and I do as much as I can, but it leads back to me not following my own advice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I really don t follow my own advice there a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, on top of that, I love like stalking people on social media." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love just going down little rabbit holes and like stalking people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we all do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s a person from high school doing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, wait." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what is like?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what s that person doing that I met once?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, I met them once." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are they doing right now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love doing that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just waste so much time doing this pointless shit, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that to me is toxic because I also know better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actively know better and I don t have enough willpower to stop it a lot of the times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just wasting a lot of time entertaining myself with things that are ultimately not beneficial and arguably harmful for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So speaking of the internet also, I," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "put myself out there on the internet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m a public figure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I choose to put myself out there on the internet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many things about it that are so incredible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I do it because there s so many incredible things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I go through phases where mean comments do bother me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only do I choose to read them, but I choose to let them hurt my feelings." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve learned to turn a blind eye to some because it s like I just can t handle it mentally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I know myself and I just can t handle it mentally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess there s something sort of toxic about me knowing that I m a really sensitive person and I am not the best at handling just mean comments about me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I m bad at it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, okay, we have two options." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Either number one, get off the fucking internet then loser." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking to myself, which is not going to happen right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I, I love what I do in so many ways that it s like, I m not going to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, okay, well, if I m not going to do that, then." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to like not read them at all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m at a phase in my life now more than ever where they bother me again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve gone through phases where it didn t bother me and I was like, nah, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s all going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more recently I m in a phase where I m very sensitive and not in a negative way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think I m actually sensitive right now in a good way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sensitive in like maybe an insecure way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m more sensitive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in a way where I m just, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I want everything to be good because there s enough shit going on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m just, I don t want to incite any sort of negativity or hatred or like anger or anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t want to be a part of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to cause that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think that s why it s so upsetting to me is because it s like, this is not what I m trying to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to annoy people or like piss people off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t want to be," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a nuisance to people, like that makes me sad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why it s bothering me, because it s like, I don t want to have a negative impact on anyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, hate comments, like just blatant hate comments that are just mean, they re not constructive criticism." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like constructive criticism is one thing, just blatant hate and mean is another." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s like, there s no reason to even look at it because it s actually not coming from a place that is helpful at all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to learn from it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to gain from it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s sort of pointless to look at, like someone calling me ugly or like, or just saying that, like, my personality sucks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, dude, I can t do anything about that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, but the fact that, like, I made someone feel so grossed out in some way that they, like, had to, and I know that that s not how it works, but I don t know, it just bums me out, I guess, because I don t want to be a part of that at all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it s inevitable, and I just need to either stop reading it altogether or stop looking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second I see something negative or, like, I see a" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to look away or I need to just become immune to it in some way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But me actually letting myself get upset by it a little bit is not getting anyone anywhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyone being me, it s not getting me anywhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I ve become sort of a paranoid person in a way that s sort of irrational and toxic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve talked about this a little bit, and I m working on it for sure, but it s something that is very toxic for myself, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, okay, today a friend and I went to go get like smoothies and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "acai bowls and coffee and all these things, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And from this like juice place." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the person I was with got this like vanilla latte thing, like almond milk latte." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they took a sip of it and they were like, this tastes really off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause it came in a bottle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t like made in the moment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was, it was in a bottle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, wait, let me try it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it tasted so sour." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was sour." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, obviously there s no milk in it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it wasn t like sour milk, but it was like somehow sour almond milk is very, very like off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been paranoid ever since I took this tiniest sip of that, that I m going to get really bad food poisoning." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m convinced that today I will just get horrific food poisoning and that something really bad is going to happen." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I had one tiny sip of this, I m going to be fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s not a big deal, but I am so paranoid." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be anytime I have turbulence on a plane, like I m really convinced that it s, it s going down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going down." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve tried to work on this and I, again, I go through phases where it s better, but the other day I was flying in a sort of a smaller plane cause I was just flying to New Mexico actually." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, it s like just a tiny plane." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a medium-sized plane." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not big." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, and the smaller the plane is, the more you feel the turbulence and stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was so fucking windy in New Mexico." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And landing there, oh, it was, I, everyone was chill." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, there were a few people that looked a little freaked out, but like, for the most part, everyone was chill." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, how are people not, like, crying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wanted to start crying because it was so fucking scary." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turbulence is normal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, relax." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I m just so paranoid and this stems from me having anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is just a way that my anxiety sort of manifests." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I understand that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not, it s not great to," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "call myself toxic for having anxiety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, this going unmanaged, like I need to figure that out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t live like this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be a little bit more chill." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think to an extent being protective and being aware of things is important because it can prevent catastrophe at times." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there is value there, but I will let these things like ruin my day, like minor things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like me having that little sip of that rotten drink." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m like, oh my God, I m going to die." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m going to die and I m a mess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, I ve had like a fear of food poisoning recently." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just toxic how paranoid I am." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something I need to work on." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s toxic that I m not working on it actively enough because it s a huge issue for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, next, I m a messy eater." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, I don t know why, but I ve always been this way for some reason." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whenever I eat something, it gets everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all over the fucking table." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all over my shirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s crumbs everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just cannot eat without getting it everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember the first time I became really aware of this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, there s been a few instances throughout my life where it s been commented on that I m a messy eater." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not like I m eating with my mouth open or anything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, maybe I am." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope I m not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try not to do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I do, but sometimes I let my guard down." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So who knows?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, there s something about the way that I take bites or something where stuff s just falling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember I had this friend in high school and she was like the mom of the group and she was so clean, very clean always." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she used to get so angry at the way that I would eat chips because she was like, Emma, you have to hold a hand under your mouth when you eat it because now there s crumbs all over your lap." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She could not stand the way that I ate chips, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom is always giving me shit for when I eat at home." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a three inch radius around where I ate where there s just stuff on the table." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why I m like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, in my defense, I wasn t raised with like the most strict manners." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know there s a lot of kids who were raised, you know, in a family where there were a bunch of manners being enforced." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was, listen, my parents got divorced when I was five." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like both of my parents are really relaxed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had elbows on the table." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was getting sauce from my meal all over the table and it just wasn t that big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They had other shit to deal with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They had to work and stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They couldn t, like, make sure that my manners were absolutely perfect." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just wasn t a priority, I guess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I turned out all right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the way that I eat is is a little toxic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, again, you re 22 years old, babe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s keep it on the plate." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s keep it on the plate, because this is not looking so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me on a date?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, the way I eat, I don t really go on dates." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, I guess once I don t go on like first dates, like I ll go on a date with a guy when I m like, when we ve been hanging out for like a week, two weeks, you know, I m not, I ve never met a guy by first date." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the early phases of a relationship, I m literally so careful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, Emma, don t make a mess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a messy bitch." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t make a mess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then eventually they see the real me and they probably hate it, but that s really fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Almost done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you, are you still with me?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a walking" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hobby graveyard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell you how many hobbies I ve started that I just have never really gotten into the full swing of." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love playing the drums, but I ve never gotten really good at it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I have a guitar in my house." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been wanting to learn how to play that thing for so long." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my defense," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is my dad s guitar and he just leaves it at my house." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still embarrassing, but I want to learn how to play it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I haven t yet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bought this clay because I was like, Oh, I want to make little things out of clay, like little creatures and then paint them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never did that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I think there was like a moment when I was like, wanted to really be into gardening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I have some herbs growing in the backyard, but I m... I m not gardening a lot, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, like, not... Like, those grow, like, weeds." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I grow mint in the backyard." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to do shit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just grows." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it just wants to grow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not doing anything, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not gonna take any credit for that thing, being healthy and happy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just... It doesn t take any love." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just... It s just thriving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t stick to a hobby." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think maybe because at times I m forcing myself to do hobbies that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe I want to do for some sort of ulterior motive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think when it comes to playing instruments, I just love music so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many people in my life who make music that I m like, oh my God, I want to be a part of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of the ulterior motive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I want to do it with them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it looks so fun when they do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But meanwhile, do I actually like playing instruments alone?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe not enough when it comes to doing the clay thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just too lazy to get it out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s just me being lazy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like when I have a day off, I m indulging." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not like making art, you know, I m, I m indulging." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I want to go to a thrift store and then lay in bed and watch YouTube shorts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s an indulgent day to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like doing something creative maybe isn t as indulgent for me sometimes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why that hasn t happened." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "think I need to either have some discipline with my hobbies and stop letting them die or I need to find hobbies that I actually like enough to sustain because maybe that s the issue." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t figure out if it s that I haven t gotten over the hump where I m through the learning curve and it s easy and it s fun to do certain hobbies or if they re just not things that I naturally enjoy doing and I m forcing myself to do them for ulterior motives." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that aren t genuine, because you really, in order for a hobby to stick, it has to be genuine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, okay, you guys, that s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are all my toxic traits." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you think differently of me after this, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m putting it out there, so it s fair game to use against me, I guess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just the bet I made for myself today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably have more toxic traits that I just forgot, so maybe this is part one, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a lot of these were ways that I m toxic to myself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really try so hard not to be toxic towards others." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe I ll do some thinking and think of ways that I am in some way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll get back to you on those." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But those need, I need to do more self-discovery on those because I m probably hiding those far deeper in me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe I m just not toxic anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ve grown out of those sorts of toxic traits." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d love to believe so." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you learned a little something about me that you didn t want to learn, but you did anyway." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did enjoy it, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday, you can stream video exclusive on Spotify and stream anywhere you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow anything goes on Instagram at anything goes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company at Chamberlain coffee on Instagram or chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can order online or you can see if we re in a store near you using the store locator that s on the website." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee and tea and matcha and all these fun things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check that out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And thank you for hanging out with me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a longtime listener of Anything Goes, you might remember a little series I used to do here on Anything Goes called Advice Session, where I would ask you, the listener, to submit current challenges and struggles that you re dealing with, and I would take a few of them and give my advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why I stopped doing this series was because I had imposter syndrome about whether or not I had the credentials to give advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing has changed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have absolutely no credentials now, and I had absolutely no credentials then." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I enjoy giving advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s some sort of maternal instinct inside of me that makes me excited about giving advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we re bringing it back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we re bringing it back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I posted on the Instagram at anything goes, submit your current challenges, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want advice on from me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of you responded, and we got some great ones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today, I m going to be giving you my unprofessional advice based on my own life experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take it with a grain of salt, but also, my intentions are good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, my intentions are great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want you to win in this life, but yeah, still take it with a grain of salt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, someone said, I m 19 years old and I ve never been in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel very behind and embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I completely relate to this because when I was 17, I moved to Los Angeles and I had never been in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, in retrospect, I know I was a child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was 17, fresh out of high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s completely normal to not have been in a relationship before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But moving to LA was really jarring because I was now placed in this environment where there were a lot of mature teenagers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was hanging out with kids who were 19, 20, and all of them were light years ahead of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d been living in LA since they were, some of them, like 15, 16." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Adults." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They felt like adults." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, they re 19, 20-year-olds, but they felt like adults." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I m this little 17-year-old" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "waltzing in, naive in every single category, a virgin, never had sex, barely kissed a boy, like literally did not, like, yes, I kissed some boys, but I didn t know what I was doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wasn t confident in my abilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a complete fish out of water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt so behind and so embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know some of you might be thinking, Emma, you were 17." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that is to be expected." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I moved into a culture that was very different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what was normal in LA was to have already had three relationships and a whole lot of sex by 17." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I ve done nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m aware that that s sort of a unique scenario." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But all this to say, I understand the feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand the feeling of being behind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think what that really stems from is comparison." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re comparing your life to the norm or the" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "popular route around you, and you re a little different from that, you re going to feel weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to feel behind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to feel embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that it feels too simple to say, Hey, listen, comparison is the thief of joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop comparing and you ll feel free." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s sort of true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s kind of where it starts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important to remember that your timeline is uniquely yours, and there s kind of no wrong way to do it when it comes to dating, relationships, sex, intimacy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, in general, with all things, but to answer this question specifically, it is so your own journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And other people s timelines have nothing to do with yours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I would stop there, but I know that there s more to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if it was that simple to be like, don t compare your life to other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s a little different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, yeah, okay, thanks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I could have figured that out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s the most reassuring is that when it comes to sex and relationships and intimacy and all these things, you would be shocked and you will be shocked at how quickly you catch up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, my first relationship was with somebody who was incredibly experienced, had had many relationships before me, had had a lot of sex before me, had done it all, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Had really—no, like, actually done it all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, had more experiences than the average 30-year-old, probably, just because of who they were and how—like, they just lived a lot of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was so freaked out because I was the complete opposite." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had had no experience at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have a crush on this person and I m like, Oh my God, like I want to make this happen, but I don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re so experienced and I m completely inexperienced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person s not going to be attracted to me because I actually have never done anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be so embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be shaking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be scared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember the first week that that relationship became intimate, I was in shambles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in shambles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had no idea what to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This person was patient with me because they cared about me and they didn t judge me, which I m so grateful for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very nice of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the end of the week, it was like, I knew what was up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got caught up quick." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think the key is communication." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why it wasn t weird for me was because I was like, listen, you re a lot more experienced than me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re going to have to be a little patient with me because I don t know what the fuck is going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re going to have to help me learn along the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of things that you understand, that you ve already experienced, that I am just now experiencing for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hold my hand through this experience, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, be on my team for this, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think if you re honest about that, it just takes all the weirdness out of it, really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think where you go wrong is when you try to pretend that you re more experienced than you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you go into a situation with somebody who maybe has dated a bunch of people, whatever, and you re sort of fresh on the scene, and you re playing it off like, nah, nah, I know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is no problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been here before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done this. " }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, no, you fucking haven t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you just have to say that or else you re setting an expectation for people like, oh, this person maybe has equal amount of experience to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then that s when it gets awkward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to ruin anything by being inexperienced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only time you ruin anything or make things weird is when you aren t honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish that I would have taken the pressure off of myself when I was younger to have my first relationship, have sex, do all these things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I would have taken the pressure off of myself and just trusted that it was going to come at the right time, because it did for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the period of my life when I was rushing it, say in high school, I was miserable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything went wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was chaos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I d like go and make out with a boy and I was too scared and I didn t trust the boy and I would like try to make out with the most popular boy I could find that would like, well not that like I would find, I would never seek it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d wait for them to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, like, I was always striving for the wrong guy, just trying to prove to myself that I could do it, and it would always end up destroying me mentally because I was just trying to rush the process." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t just letting it unfold naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would have been completely fine had I skipped out on all of the shitty high school bad hookups and just waited for my first" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "relationship to do everything like I would have been fine and it would have saved me a lot of grief and you learn quickly you figure it out like we as humans just we re built to do this shit you know what I mean and so there s something to be said for just trusting yourself it s never too late" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to feel behind about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to feel embarrassed about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your first relationship is coming, and it ll come into your life when the universe decides, if you believe in the universe or some sort of pull, some sort of spiritual presence in the world, the universe will bring that to you when it s time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really believe that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you might not believe that, and that s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not religious, but I do believe that things like this just tend to unfold almost in a divine way, like in retrospect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my relationship timeline unfolded so beautifully." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I feel like my first relationship came at the right time in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then every relationship following that has come at the right time in my life and has ended at the right time in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I just tend to trust at this point, but there s nothing to be embarrassed about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, if it makes you feel better, you could even be kind of silly about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like make a joke about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make light of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Own it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That helps so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime I m embarrassed or ashamed of something about myself," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A weird coping mechanism for me is going in the opposite direction and owning it and talking about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that might not work for everyone, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So trust me, it s okay if that doesn t work for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of weird that it works for me, but I ve found so much power in that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe that s something you could try too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just remember that it s all going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to be embarrassed about and you re not behind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no such thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because there s no one singular timeline to live by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone said, I m scared of the future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a senior in high school and I don t know what I want to do with my life or who I want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Any tips?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, see, here s the problem, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a senior in high school, you re already deciding what college you re going to go to if you want to go to college, or figuring out what your first job is going to be if you re going straight into the workforce, or if you want to go to trade school, like you re already sort of figuring out" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what trade you want to get into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is asking a lot of an 18 year old to make a big step towards their career when their brain isn t even fully developed yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like at 18 years old, your brain is not fully developed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m pretty sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should I Google that or should I just say that fact and only vaguely know if it s true?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will Google it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid to late twenties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, it s a really huge ask of an 18-year-old to know what you want to do, know who you are, and start making steps towards that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it s an inevitable decision that must be made after high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to figure out your next move, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the problem is not that the 18-year-olds need to figure out their next move." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem is the pressure that schools and parents and friends put on these 18-year-olds to have it all figured out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where the problem is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because making a next move is crucial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to figure out what the fuck you re doing next after high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone does." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the problem is, is that that choice is almost always lumped in with, well, do you know exactly what you want to do with your future?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if not, how are you going to make this next move?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s ridiculous to me, and that s getting it all wrong, because you can make your next move and not know what you want to do with your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t even know what I want to do with my life, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I left high school to pursue an internet career." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As we know, here I am doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I want to do this forever?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this even going to last forever?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might pivot and go and do something else at some point in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, my next move was sort of presented to me in a very unusual way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, posting on YouTube became an option for a job, and I was like, well," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "let me just pursue this while I can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would be stupid not to pursue this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s going to happen to some people in life where their next move is obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether they ve had the same dream job since they were five years old, they ve always wanted to be a veterinarian and they re pursuing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s very obvious to go to veterinarian school, veterinary, veterinary school, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they ve always wanted to be a coffee shop owner, so they go to business school, and it s obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they ve always wanted to be a lawyer, so they go to law school, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, for some people, the next move s going to be obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe even for some people it s like I just want to get married and be a stay-at-home mom or I want to get married and be a stay-at-home dad whatever and maybe they re marrying their high school sweetheart and they don t have to go do that they can just get pregnant at like 20 you know what I mean it s like for some people it s clear it s obvious it s written in the stars they ve known it since they were young it s whatever for other people it comes" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "right at the right time it s like oh my god I had to make this decision and now suddenly I had this epiphany okay yeah but that s a small majority I feel like most people are like I kind of know what I like but I don t really know what I like and that s fine that s completely normal" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s important to remember that the pressure to know what s going to happen next is not fair to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fair to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a senior in high school, I don t think it s fair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a ridiculous thing to ask of a child." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think—well, I guess at 18 you re not a child anymore, but still sort of a child." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think 18 is still very much a child." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were a kid yesterday, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a better way of thinking about it is, what s something that I m interested in?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s something that I want to try out?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s something that excites me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you want to go to college and you re trying to figure out what to major in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless you have a clear idea of what you want your career to be, major in something that s interesting to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the next right move." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Major in something that you re interested in studying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Choose something that you re genuinely going to be excited about showing up to school for, if you can find that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t even want to go to college and you re like, you know what, I just want to get straight into the workforce, start getting little jobs in industries that interest you, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re like, well, you know, I ve always sort of had a thing for food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always sort of been a foodie in a way or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s something that you re interested in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go work at like a cute cafe that sells creative pastries nearby your house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are very simplified examples, but take the pressure off to see 10 years down the line and think about right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s interesting to you right now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would inspire you to get out of bed every day right now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And go and do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it comes to not knowing who you want to be, does anyone know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anyone knows who they want to be at 18." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And anyone who thinks that they do," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "will realize soon that who they want to be is changing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just changed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, again, you re not fully developed at 18." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not fully there yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just, you re not supposed to know who you want to be yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You haven t even existed in the real world yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a senior in high school, you have not lived in the real world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve not functioned in the real world yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve lived in a high school sort of bubble in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not until you experience the real world can you have a clear understanding of who you want to be, I think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because high school is sort of a bubble." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re there every single day, five days a week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of an echo chamber in a way because you re around the same kids" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the same teachers every single day, you re in the same town, it s sort of an echo chamber." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not until your community becomes the world when you graduate high school can you gather enough information to know who you want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I left high school and I came to L.A." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I started meeting so many different types of people, and when I started traveling a bit more and meeting all different types of people," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only then was I like, okay, now I m starting to gather information and a well-rounded amount of information." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re stuck in that bubble, you cannot gather enough information to figure out who you want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not until you re just in the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, don t get me wrong, there are some very worldly high schoolers and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t let me take that away from y all, but I just think for the most part, you re in a bubble in high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to gather more information." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You haven t lived enough life yet to know who you want to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, the next person said something similar, however, a little different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m starting my third year of college and still don t know what I want to do with my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, everything I just said for the last person applies here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the difference here is that towards the end of college, the pressure, I imagine, grows even more to know what the fuck is going to happen next." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my argument still stands that it s ridiculous to expect someone in their 20s, early 20s, to know exactly what they want to do with their life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re still a kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really, you are an adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, I don t know, it s still a lot to ask of someone in their early 20s to know exactly what they want to do with their life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the same advice applies here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the next most interesting, inspiring thing that you can find?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might not be ideal," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might not be where you want to stay forever, but what s the best next option?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also feel like a lot of confusion about one s future in today s day and age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s this societal pressure to find this sparkly, shiny career." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and have that be one s purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t get me wrong, I think that that can be someone s purpose and that can end up being the conclusion that is came to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it doesn t need to be sparkly to be right for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s where people" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People forget to look when they re trying to figure out, okay, what s my passion or what s a job that I think would enhance my life in some way?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People tend to overlook the less shiny options." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s where a lot of people get lost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think people fail to ask themselves, what do I actually enjoy doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I think about the bare bones of what I personally enjoy doing, like the most generic explanation of what I personally enjoy doing, nothing specific, no specific sort of actions, but just overall in life, what do I enjoy doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are my hobbies?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like telling stories, for one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also like organizing things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of like solving puzzles sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, not actual puzzles, but solving a puzzle of a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like comforting people and making people feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the things that I like to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And being aware of those things helps me make decisions in my life" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but more specifically in my career because I know that those are things that I like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I go towards things that allow me to utilize those skills and those things that I enjoy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s a great starting point to be like, okay, most basic question ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I like doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like movement?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do you like moving your body?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like talking to people?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like getting into the flow state and like grinding solo on a project?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do you like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The answer to the question is not as specific as like, well, I like going shopping for groceries and I like, it s even more stripped down than that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I like being told what to do and having a set of instructions and completing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a great place to start when you re trying to figure out what your next move is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then from there, you can find things that fall into those categories and you can try those things out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, they might not be the most sparkly option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might be the most sparkly option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be something very, very impressive, like starting an entrepreneurial endeavor, but it also might be something that s a little less societally sparkly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be something like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it s not societally sparkly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be something like working for a garbage company or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it doesn t matter, but it s like what utilizes the part of your brain that you like to utilize and start there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also just know that it s never too late to pivot, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad s a great example of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was in a band." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done an interview with him if you want to go listen to that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he was in a band in his 20s, I believe, and that was potentially going to be his career." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then he ended up not doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he got into construction work and he was doing construction work for a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he eventually became an electrician when I was a kid, up until I was honestly like a tweenager probably." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then eventually he became a full-time artist, oil painter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he started oil painting when I was a baby." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like he started when he was probably 35, I think, or 32, in his 30s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He started in his 30s, long after college." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like he doesn t care about how much money he makes doing art." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He doesn t care that it s maybe it s less than if he had another job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He doesn t care because this is ultimately what he enjoys doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he got to where he is now by just taking the next most appealing step." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He didn t have this grand plan to become a full-time painter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He just, it happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody would have told that to him when he was like 20, he would have been like, what the fuck are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a great artist, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now he s an amazing artist because he just fell into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that it s important to remember that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "things can change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you don t have to have it all figured out in your 20s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to have it all figured out in your 30s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people figure out what they really like to do in their 50s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the meantime, it s about just finding something that you enjoy in some way, at least." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next someone said, dude, my life looks so different than what most people want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course that s okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so hard to take the traditional life trajectory off of the pedestal and to sort of unlearn it and realize that we re all on our own journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s going to look different for all of us, and it should look different for all of us, and that s okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my God, is it challenging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we see a certain trajectory praised online and in our communities, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re from maybe a smaller, more traditional town, what s praised is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "School, and then more school, and then job, and then married, and then kid, and then retire, and then die." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simple, traditional, easy, timeless, iconic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like that is what is praised and rewarded a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on social media, I feel like the lifestyle that s, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it depends on what corner of the internet that you re in, but I think what tends to be praised is sort of the opposite." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like entrepreneurship, being independent, not getting married, not having kids, making a lot of money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that tends to be the lifestyle that is praised." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always, I guess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The internet is just so vast that it s hard to say, but I see that a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But all of this to say, I think it s fucking cool when the life that people desire is different than the average." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s cool when people want to go the average, not even average, the common route." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I even think that that s cool too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no right or wrong way to live your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As long as you re working towards a fulfilling life in one way or another, and that can look a trillion different ways, you can find fulfillment from your career," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some ways, in some circumstances, you can find fulfillment from family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can find fulfillment not from your job at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your job is just something you do from 9 to 5." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you find fulfillment in your friendships or in your hobbies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you might find fulfillment from a mixture of everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might find" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that you don t even want to have a job and you just want to marry someone who s rich and you want to be done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who fucking cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As long as you are taking steps towards a fulfilling life, there s no wrong way to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually find that if you re someone who" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe craves a life that s a bit unusual and you succumb to the pressure of fitting in and following the trajectory that s popular, you will end up miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will be miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That will make your life suck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of the day, you have to live your life for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who else?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who the fuck cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when you look at life through the lens of like this is a blank canvas and I can do whatever the fuck I want with it because this is my life and the sky s the limit I can do anything yeah there might be challenges along the way there might be roadblocks whatever sure but this is all up to me you know I don t have to structure it in any specific type of way I can" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "get creative with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you start looking at life like that, you might still end up doing what is maybe common, but you ll come to that conclusion yourself instead of that conclusion being come to for you by society or the people around you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important to embrace the blank canvas that life is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so cringe today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like a fucking walking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a Pinterest quote today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like, this is just," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little cringe sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, long story short, when you look at your life as a blank canvas, and you embrace that, and you look at that as a beautiful thing and an exciting thing," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you keep your eyes on your own fucking canvas and make a piece of art that looks good to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares what other people think of it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This piece of art is for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s for your house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s for your metaphorical house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of it like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of your life as this magnum opus of an art piece, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you start with a blank canvas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you can choose to paint this canvas however you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be easy to look around and see what your friends and family are painting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be easy to google online like famous painters what did they do and copy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes it can be tempting to do that and maybe that s exactly what you want to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s what will bring you fulfillment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that truly is the best for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe that is actually the answer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that is your magnum opus is to do something sort of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "metaphorically Van Gogh-esque, because Van Gogh is your idol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, maybe that s the case, but what you have to remember is that this is your painting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is your painting, and you re the one that has to live with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one else has to live with it in their house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the one painting that is in your house, your metaphorical house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only you have to live with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Therefore, you must love it, or you must try your best to love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every single day you can add a little bit more paint or you can scrape off a chunk of paint because you didn t like that chunk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every day you re adding to this canvas, but you have to like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be painted for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, other people are going to see it when they come over to your house, but guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They leave your house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re stuck in your house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s your house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You live there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you get what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We feel pressure because it s like, oh, other people come over to the house and they see the painting and like, oh, my painting s kind of weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s it s different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like that s what makes it cool, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll be shocked at how many people will come in and see your weird painting and be like, that s actually fucking cool, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, that metaphor, that s all I have to offer, okay, with that one, but I hope that that was helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, and last one of the day, someone said, how to genuinely stop caring what other people think and do what you want in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my experience, what s helped me sort of stop caring about what other people think is to make myself proud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m proud of myself, then I don t give a fuck what other people think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is naturally a bit harder for me personally because I have horrific imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s better now than it used to be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually have an episode about that if you want to go listen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I m making myself proud, then I don t care what other people think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the sneaky thing is that we can be in search of making ourselves proud in the wrong areas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, for me, being successful in my career doesn t really make me feel proud of myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately, it just doesn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, yeah, if you look at it on paper, it s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that doesn t, for some reason, and people, and don t get, relax, that does not fulfill me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not what fulfills me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t look in the mirror and feel proud of myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because my career on paper looks like a success in many areas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That does not fulfill me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That does not make me feel proud, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What makes me feel proud is when my work ethic is on point, when I m working hard and I m proud of how much I m working." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, when I m doing good in some way for the world, that makes me feel proud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being a good person makes me feel proud when I treat other people kindly and I m fair and I m reasonable and listen I m not great at all this all the time sometimes my work ethic is shit sometimes I m a piece of shit I m like calling my friends or like calling my parents or whoever and I m like in a phase where I m just being negative and I m talking shit and I m just like a piece of shit you know what I mean we all have phases like that this happens that s fine" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know that that s what makes me proud of myself, is when I m working hard and I m being a good person, and that s when I m the most proud of myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in those moments, I don t give a fuck what other people think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I m slacking in those areas that I know make me feel proud of myself, that is when I start caring what other people think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, being a good person overall and doing my best, that sets me free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because at the end of the day, being a good person and having a good work ethic, all of these things, they are far more important in the grand scheme of life than anything else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s honestly the most important thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you have that, then you can have a failing career at a given moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t matter because you re a good person and you re working hard and you re trying your best." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is the ultimate challenge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s maybe why it s the most, like, I don t know, fulfilling thing is because we re all on an even playing field there as humans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a good person," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyone and everyone can be a good person today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no barrier to entry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there is at times, depending on, you know, your challenges maybe growing up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are, there are, I guess, some barriers to entry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, everyone can do it, yet it s so challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to do the right thing and to make yourself proud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so hard, yet anyone can do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why it s so effective, I think, because it s something that we can all do, and it does set you free." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my little advice for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, I hope you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you got something from it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you didn t at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you disagree with my advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if that s the case, that is totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to be included in a future advice session, go check out the Anything Goes Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can DM anytime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also we post on stories every once in a while and specifically ask for more current challenges." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So either way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Send them in and get my unprofessional advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram too if you want to keep up with me at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you live in the US, we might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check out the store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com, or you can just order it and it ll come straight to your door, also on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all and love hanging out and love giving you advice and hopefully you like receiving advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I hate receiving advice, but I kind of like to hear advice and then I just choose little bits and pieces that apply to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, anywho." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you very soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would not consider myself to be a friendship expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, I feel like nobody is, except for who we re about to talk to today, but who we are as a friend is so unique to us as individuals and what we look for in friends is so different depending on, I don t know, who we are and what we re" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "looking for in a friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s why I m very excited to talk to a friendship expert today, Danielle Byard Jackson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She is a friendship coach who speaks nationally on the subject of female friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Through her work, Danielle teaches women how to make and maintain better friendships through research-based methodology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s studied the ins and the outs of female friendships, which are particularly complicated, I would say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, I made an episode a while back about female friendships from a very personal lens, which was maybe a mistake because I" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "mainly focused on the challenges of female friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think I was speaking from a place of immature female friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was 19 or 20 when I recorded this episode." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to be fair, majority of my female friendships had occurred in middle school and high school and talk about a turbulent time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "where everybody s insecure, nobody knows who they are, I think the worst of female friendships come out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was mainly my experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Since then, at a rapid pace, I think I ve experienced more and more beautiful female friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so my opinion has definitely shifted on what" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "female friendships are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All this to say, we have a very phenomenal guest coming on today who is an expert in female friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she is going to answer even more of my questions that I have about friendship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think friendship is often overlooked as something that just comes naturally to us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re humans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all have friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is just what we do as humans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But friendship is a huge piece of our foundation in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "digging in and analyzing it never heard anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s why I m so excited to talk to Danielle Byard Jackson today because she is going to speak the truth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you love this episode and you want more, go check out the friend forward podcast as well as the friend forward website." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you want to see more from Danielle, you know where to find her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "social as a kid like did you have a lot of friends as a kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did as a young girl yes and then I feel like with like most people getting into high school you re kind of like finding your way again who you want to be so that was an interesting experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah like you had your your fair share of friendship ups and downs as we all have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like the ups and downs" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "led you to, I don t know, develop a deeper interest around friendship?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like how did you" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "find a career in friendship?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, no, it s funny because I think a lot of people think, oh, if I ve made a career of friendship, I must be the girl who just had great friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just trying to give some tips." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I say that I think that I am able to add value in this space because I know what it s like to get friendship wrong, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually, I started as a high school teacher." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was teaching 12th graders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s the number one thing they wanted to talk about during class is friendship drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I became the academic chair of the department and the teachers, whenever we had staff meetings, we all were talking about how to help kids navigate stuff because there was drama in the classroom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I left the classroom and I got into public relations and I found myself working with these high achieving, charismatic boss women." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it wasn t long before I realized, oh, they have privately friendship issues too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have no shortage of social connections, but they feel deeply unsatisfied with the friendships that they have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for the past six years, I ve leveraged my background in education to study what the research has to say about women s cooperation, communication, and conflict." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would you say your biggest friendship challenge was throughout your life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what was a reoccurring challenge?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think trying to be somebody you re not, which doesn t really go away, like when I was working with teenagers or adults, trying to be someone you re not because you want to belong, you want to impress, but inevitably it leads to you being wildly unsatisfied, tired because you re performing and inauthentic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think that s something we all have to kind of grow into, getting comfortable in our own skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think the thing is, too, like, friendship is something that s so ingrained in human beings that it s almost overlooked, I think, as an important topic to focus on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve, in the past, like, focused more on romantic relationships, for example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "going to people and asking for advice about romantic relationships left and right, but with friendship, I sort of overlook it because they feel less significant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do you think friendship is so important?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, for a lot of reasons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will say that what you re feeling is totally supported by the research." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The longest running study on happiness came out of Harvard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for more than 80 years, they followed people wondering, like, what makes us happy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they found that the number one thing that contributes to our overall life satisfaction and well-being is the quality of our relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not your income, not whether or not you re married." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The quality of your relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I know that we tend to put romance and like in the forefront, but I would argue that friendship is at the heart of romance as well because it starts there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can t be my friend, you know, when you strip it all down, what are we doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, yeah, so we need people who offer social support and they, you know, they give us direction and feedback and help us grow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You grow and you heal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in community." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I know we live at a time and a culture where we champion individualism, but, you know, all the growth that you really need to happen, all the joy that you can achieve and experience, it really comes through community." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think makes a good friend?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, simply put, what is a good friend?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People define that differently, but I would say at the end of the day, somebody who makes you feel safe, seen and supported is probably somebody you re considering a really good friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I think a lot of times we find ourselves in friendships or even groups of friends that are not serving us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it happens sort of mysteriously, like you end up in a group or you end up with a best friend even and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you start to realize, okay, wait a minute, how did I even get here, and is this even good for me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how often should we be analyzing our friendships, and how do you manage figuring that out?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s a great question, because sometimes you do get on autopilot, and you re just so used to each other, and it feels very safe, but I m learning that there s a difference between safe and healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think it s great to do an inventory every now and then, the same way one might in your romantic relationship, where you re like, okay," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my friendship landscape looking like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, I mean, the expectation thing is real because the research shows that women tend to have higher expectations in their close relationships, both in romantic and platonic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So really look at your expectations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is it you want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is it you want, like, for your personal trajectory?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What experience do you want from friendship?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what, like, when you kind of look at each of your friends individually, does it measure up to what you say you value and what you say you want?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times, to your point, I might have friends in my life who, you know, we ve been together forever and, you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it feels risky to end this and like looking at, I love this person and she means well to me, but you know, when I look at what I ve got going on, it s no longer a fit and that s okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a matter of fact, the research tells us that we replace half of our friends every seven years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to some degree you have to expect a natural pruning to happen in your friendships and it s deeply uncomfortable, but you know, but it happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That actually leads me to my next question perfectly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have always, like, my friendships throughout my life have come and gone very seamlessly, weirdly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of times people maybe look at friendships that come and go as like, someone s a problem here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I look at, say, my own situation, I m like, we just grew out of each other every single time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I guess my question is, how many of our friendships should we be retaining?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think there s sort of this moral dilemma of like, oh, wow, I ve shed a lot of friends throughout my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t regret it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel good about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I ve moved on to, you know, people who fit me better in the present moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But is there something wrong with that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, should I be retaining more of my friendships throughout my life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what s happening there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m curious, like, your take." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so whenever women bring me that issue, I mostly work with women, and they bring me that issue, I m always curious about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "why, to see if we can identify themes between the last like five relationships you released." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m always curious about that because people get different answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They might say, I just realized I began to get deeply uncomfortable with that relationship as I grew." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It felt like it was compromising." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But sometimes I hear people say, you know, she just started to, you know, bother me or she started to do this and I didn t like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think it s a, you have to look inside and ask yourself when" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "there are things that bring tension to the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do I want to leave because I m so uncomfortable with conflict that I start to tell myself like this is run its course but in reality I don t know how to have hard conversations or I don t know how to you know so some people that s that s their theme of the friendships ending is the person does something I don t like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "okay, do you have a critic s mindset where you have a group of friends, but if people start to do things you don t like, you re looking for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when they have these elusive violations, you release them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I would say, look at your last five friendships that faded out or that you found yourself saying, I think I m over this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I just be curious about the why and what themes emerge when you kind of track those last five friendships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going on there?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that s something to look at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I also say that," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like friendships ending feels deeply shameful for some women." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It feels like a failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I worked with a young lady recently and she said, I just, you know, she was telling me all these things she was trying to do to get this friend back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she s like, OK, I messed up, but she won t talk to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she s telling me all these extravagant things she s doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was like, OK, you re doing a lot like you re being really intentional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she kind of just sighed and her shoulders dropped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she said," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just can t have another friendship end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m just like, and what would that mean for you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, what would it mean if this was over?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would it say about you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think a lot of us think it would say, I m a bad friend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not good at this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not likable that people won t stay with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not lovable or interesting enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, you know, uh, you know, the last thing I ll say here is when it comes to the longevity of a friendship," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I see a lot of people brag about, you know, we ve been friends 20 years, and I do think that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have some of those." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s something really beautiful about having people who have seen you evolve, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if you measure success of any relationship" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "by its longevity, that might have other issues." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve seen people endure mistreatment because they re like, well, we ve been friends for 20 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would it say if I left?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve been friends for 20, okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So thinking about how do you measure success of a friendship?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if it s mostly by longevity, I think that can be detrimental." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I agree." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve noticed that in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there are friends that I ve had for" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "ten years, like whatever, and you know, not necessarily as close or as like vivid as it once was, but it s like, I don t know, like there s something special there, but it doesn t actually measure the quality of the friendship at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there s people that I ve met within the last five years who I have a better friendship with than I ever have in my whole life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s very interesting how that is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to ending a friendship," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the smoothest way to do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I found that in the past, I tend to take a really sort of like all at once." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s slow and then all at once and I m kind of gone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m still there, but I m kind of gone, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now I m thinking about it, I am sort of avoiding a larger conversation, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think I m afraid of maybe bringing up" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The fact that I don t want to be friends anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to make that person feel bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I leave them wondering and they never know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like that doesn t feel the smoothest because it doesn t leave them feeling resolved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m aware of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then on the other hand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve also found that when I have tried to bring it up and be like, I don t think that our friendship s working anymore, I ve been met with a lot of pushback and a lot of anger, way more anger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, what do we do here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it s handled differently than a breakup where there s like this huge conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not like you ghost your partner of four years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I guess people do that probably sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My God, who is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But yeah, how do you healthily end a friendship?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with the least amount of anger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t even know if there s an answer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is a complicated one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So a lot of it s largely circumstantial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it depends like, OK, why am I ending it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Does this person know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do they not?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Was it something egregious?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or did I just have an aha moment of like, I don t know if I want to keep investing time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And a lot of different reasons, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So the first thing I ll say is a lot of friendships end by fading out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t think there s necessarily anything wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If I m realizing like, I m not as into it and you are too, and we re like kind of calling a little less." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It happens, I think, more than we give credit for where things just, or I m committing to other certain things in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so we invest less time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And before you know it, I haven t seen her in seven months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it happens all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s nothing wrong with that at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Friendships themselves are largely circumstantial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re in the same space or we re doing this project together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we re in each other s, you know, vicinities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of things happen personally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think a conversation needs to happen when there s a discrepancy between our expectations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if both people kind of notice the fade out, and we re doing it because we re trying to spare the other person s feelings, and it doesn t feel like it requires a formal sit down, that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But as soon as I want out, yet she expects to maintain the status quo, there s a gap here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so I have to ask myself, okay, do I want to keep dodging calls?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do I want to be dishonest about what I m doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do I want to, like, what amount of anxiety is this causing me to, like, keep dodging her and this and that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And to what degree does it begin to feel like she s being let on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, she s not getting the hint and she s like, hey, let s hang out or hey, I bought you a ticket for the concert." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As soon as there s a gap, I have to ask myself, okay," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do I need to give her the courtesy of letting her in on what s going on so that she can make decisions around what she wants to do for her life?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I ve equipped her with the data that she needs to make that decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that might look like, and I know this is like, I know this is hard, but if somebody is continually pursuing, they re not really getting the hints that I m starting to withdraw." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like you have to have that conversation as close to in-person as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Just so people can catch like your tone and stuff like that and not be like, oh, that was cold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you want to do it as warmly as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cause I know people tend to lean into like that HR language where they re like, you know, I just don t have the capacity for this relationship right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I understand that that feels very like safe to, you know, cause you re distancing yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So you re being really formal, but it can feel cold and sterile to a person who was just like holding your hair back in the bathroom last weekend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And now you re talking to me like a parole officer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s incongruent with the history of our relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it can feel disrespectful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s really hard, but you would just say, Hey, I ve been thinking a lot lately and, um, I m prioritizing X, Y, Z right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I don t think that s going to let me maintain this friendship the way that I was before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m so sorry, but I just, I felt like I owed that to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And here s the thing you asked, you said, well, how do we do that without them being angry?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no guarantee they won t be angry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no guarantee they won t misunderstand you or go and tell a different narrative to your mutual friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There is no guarantee." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so everyone has to kind of weigh what feels appropriate, dignified, the best thing for me to do that I can stand by with integrity and say, hey, I was fair, I was honest, and that s just what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s tough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I just know if I were on the other end, if I had any woman in my life, and she started to feel like, kind of over Danielle, I wouldn t want her doing me any favors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, let me know it s gonna sting, but let me live my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to dig into female friendships, because I actually made an episode once on female friendships that was very controversial, because I talked about the challenges in a way that was very, like, unfiltered, in a way, because, and I think that it was biased in the sense that it was based on my experience and what I had experienced in life thus far, but it was, you know, it was mainly focusing on the challenges that come with female friendship, mainly being" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the competitive element." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s kind of going away as I m getting older, as I m entering my mid-twenties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s definitely fading a lot, which is gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because in middle school, for example, I mean, I think- Sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ruthless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that that s probably why the episode was so controversial because, you know, I m 22." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at the time I made that episode, I was probably 20." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, what I was mainly referring to was," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "my younger female friendships, which were far more challenging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a much more turbulent time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I still do feel like there is, at times, much less, again, much less now that I m older, but the cattiness doesn t necessarily go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was sort of controversial that I was mentioning the cattiness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was mentioning the backstabbingness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was mentioning the competitiveness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t think I m crazy for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like that exists." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you say that that is a real challenge?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or is that something that we ve been taught in movies and it s not real?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whenever I walk into a room in the subject of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "female friendship comes up, I always say that you have two different groups." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have people who start to say, oh, I love my girls." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My girls are my everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are magic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are my princesses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have a group that s like, oh my God, I cannot with the drama, with the pettiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the thing is, both are true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does not speak to the range of our humanity to tell one story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The story is that it s both." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know because I embody both." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have had friendships that I m Ms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Grill, your cheerleader, and all the things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have been a friend who was jealous and unsure and insecure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of our experiences are different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So depending on whatever, a multitude of factors, maybe you had a great experience in middle school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t know many women who did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re bringing those experiences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Surely, it s coloring our overall" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, feel of women s friendships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About the competition that sometimes exists, I like to start by saying being competitive is not exclusive to women." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the reason it sometimes feels so sinister is because oftentimes there s not room for us to outwardly" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "compete and aggress and disagree the way that men have the same room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like the ways that we kind of hit at each other, they live underground because we have more social consequences if we loudly say, oh, I don t like that or push back or question." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have more consequences just culturally, I think like from the society." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, the term for that is relational aggression." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I call it sophisticated stealth, but where you feel like, okay, was she being nasty or was she just," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because it has to live underground." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the best, the girls who do it the best, mean girls, or, you know, there s different terms for that, but the ones who do it the best can strike you in a very covert way because we know that being outwardly mean holds social consequences for us, so I don t want to look like the mean girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m going to do little things that are like, oh, okay, that s a cute outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh wow, you guys are dating?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I didn t think you were like mainly his type, but I love that for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That way it has to be stealthy so that if we re ever confronted about it publicly, you can deny it and be like, oh my gosh, I didn t mean it like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was complimenting her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like this little language." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll just say, you know, female friendships are complicated, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I put this in my book, but I one day looked up the word complicated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just curious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it said the intersection of many parts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I believe that s why female friendships are so complicated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For men, I know I m generalizing here, but it s also rooted in the research and supported by the evidence, but they tend to compartmentalize friendship and they do not have friendships that are as platonically intimate the way that we do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because we bring so much of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m looking for you to be my emotional support, and I m looking for you to do all the things in my life and satisfy a lot of different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want you to be my person I socialize with, and I want you to do all the things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so by definition, it is more complicated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just think that, you know, I know this sounds really fluffy, but to sum it all up, I feel like the more secure and comfortable you get in your own skin, you have less of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know people hear that all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more you feel good in your own skin, you will notice it starts to attract" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "healthy friendships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s just I mean, I think it s a growth thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But but I will validate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see what you see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s totally a thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so wild." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do think, though, what s been promising is like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The older I get, I can t tell if it s like the older I get," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the easier it is to avoid because I m not in a school environment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s something to be said for being in a confined environment and have only that community to choose from, in a way, like when you re at school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why I think school friendships are so challenging is because you re stuck" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with this certain group of people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then beyond that, you re in a really insecure time of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I think that s just, that s a whole nightmare of its own." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I totally agree." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I ve still noticed even now, like as an adult in more of maybe the workspace, I have a very bizarre workspace, but there still is a community, there are peers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve found it s very challenging for me to find female friendships that feel" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "genuine and not maybe competitive in a way or like, you know, I still struggle with that in some ways, but it s easier to avoid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then it doesn t really like matter as much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you sort of spoke a little bit about earlier, like women who maybe" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are hard workers, and they re getting their shit done, and they re maybe really successful on the outside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you mentioned that maybe they have more challenges in some ways finding meaningful female friendships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do you think that is, and how does one combat that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, I always joke that if you were to overhear somebody saying that they re working with a friendship coach, you d be like, OK, you re probably socially awkward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About 75% of the women I work with are business owners, entrepreneurs, tons of Instagram followers, all the things you would never know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s because they are deeply unsatisfied with their friendship landscape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it looks like a couple of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is a lot of times high achieving women, I mean, you re driven by achievement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve noticed them enter into new potential friendships, but they re leading with accomplishments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re leading with, well, what do you do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, what do you do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So from the beginning, it sets the trajectory of this friendship and being kind of a professional transactional thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m calling you friend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m using that label, but deep down, if I were honest with myself, this is kind of like a business thing or like an upward mobility thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I keep you around, but I m calling you friend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, another reason why they suffer is because if you pride yourself on self-sufficiency, like I m a boss, I don t need help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do not seek the support that you need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s one of the advantages of friendship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have people to help you through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you feel like it makes you look weak, you do not ask for the support that you need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they ll tell me, I don t feel like my friends really see me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t really know me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At some point, I have to ask, why is there a performance?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why can t you allow yourself to soften and say," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need help, like I m struggling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is that about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for high achieving women in highly visible, powerful spaces, a lot of them feel they don t have the safety or the space to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the last thing I ve noticed too is that sometimes our jobs take up so much of our world that we don t know what else we have to offer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Outside of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you don t make friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s got the business context because you don t make time for friendship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t show up outside of being a conqueror, a professional conqueror." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So people don t know anything but that side of you, which, again, leads to feeling deeply unknown and by extension, unsatisfied." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think for somebody who maybe is very business minded, it makes sense to sort of set" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "time for friendship, most people end up, whether it s with school or work or whatever, if you re going to be succeeding in those things, it s really hard to have a social life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In times when I m more socially fulfilled and I m having more fun, I m not getting shit done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then when" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m getting so much done, I haven t seen my friends in two months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, how important is it to figure out that work, social life balance, and what are your tips for people on that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so I totally understand being in a season where you re like, okay, I m trying to like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "crush all these things that are happening this month is busy for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So naturally it s going to impact the hours I can dedicate to friendship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I totally get those, those seasons and those trade offs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when we take like a helicopter view and an aerial view of your friendships, that should not be the norm is that most of my hours are in getting this, getting this money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and again, I know there s a lot of stuff that feels countercultural to even say that, because it s like, hustle, hustle, girl, get your check." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I respect that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, a couple of things can help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first is think about things that you can do that aren t necessarily" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting together in person, although that s like the number one way to kind of clock hours together to feel seen is in real time in person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what are other things I can do to spend time with my friend or to clock hours together?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I know a lot of times we re like, I don t even have time to like physically see her." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I get that traveling and all the things, but what are other things we can do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for example, I mean, I know it sounds cheesy, but like, let s say there s a show that you both love, like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, Thursday night, we re both virtually watching it, and then we re gonna dish about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so simple, but that is an example of prioritizing friendship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thursday, the emails for me stop at four o clock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to talk to my girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is just as important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot be pushing that into the margins of our lives, and I ll get to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just, again, it s so easy to get absorbed with hustle culture, but friendship just doesn t work that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I know as adults, we re prioritizing other things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are focused on establishing family ties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some are trying to crack down at work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can t be an afterthought because I work with too many women who lift their head up after running on the treadmill of life and business and they re like, well, I don t have any friends or like, gosh, I feel like I don t even know them anymore or they don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That happens by, you know, bit by bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not a sudden thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to happen as like a accumulation of a series of little choices." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how we end up there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s similar to I feel like with romantic relationships, you know, like when" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "someone gets into a relationship, a lot of times their friendships suffer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve had that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s say you only have X amount of time outside of work or school or whatever for social, and that could either go to a significant other or to, you know, a group of friends maybe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you manage that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think for a lot of people, it s not on purpose that they lose contact with their friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, being in a romantic relationship maybe lines up with the trajectory of the life that I want to have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I want to have a family or this or that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you also need to have friends because that relationship could fizzle and then you re like, that s a messy situation that I think is a lot easier to sort of discuss hypothetically." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like in reality, it s," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so challenging to manage?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is like a realistic sort of way to manage dating, work, friends, give everything proper attention?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it even possible sometimes?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god, so many things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first thing I ll say is I really appreciate you asking the question around how do I balance this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s all important to me and I m trying to figure out how do I balance this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to romance versus friendship, the research says that people who are in a couple, mostly married couples, when they have friends outside of the friendship, those couples are more successful than people who do not have friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re not keeping our friends around as, OK, I need a backup in case this fails." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need friends to even stabilize this relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to be successful in your platonic or romantic relationships," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "keep your girlfriends around." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the research shows you need that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the first thing I ll say is if you find that you re like, I don t know that I can balance this all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I make more time for friends?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One little sneaky little thing you re probably not looking at that could help a lot is look at how much time you spend alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s my first tip for reclaiming time with friends is look at how much alone time you spend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason I say that is because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is this survey that came out, it s the American Time Use Survey, where they monitor and they see how are Americans spending every, you know, their hours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in 2013, we were spending an average of six hours a week with our friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, about 10 years later, we re spending a little over two hours a week with our friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And where did those extra hours go alone time?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably on the phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the phone, scrolling, streaming, all the things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not a bad thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need time to recharge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to know how to be good with your own company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re feeling like, I don t have time for friends, the first thing I point clients toward is, can I ask what your alone time looks like?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the easiest thing you can do is socialize the things that you are doing alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re watching shows, you re TikToking, you re cooking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I invite a friend into that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, come tell me about your date while I make this new dish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, come watch the show with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or even if it s not close friends and you re starting totally from scratch, okay, if I like to draw or read, can I go do it in a public space?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like at least I m among other people and that positions me for opportunities for a person to say, oh, hey, what are you reading?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, oh, hey, what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but how do I position myself for more connection in my life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, yeah, it s going to take away from other things, but I mean, it s that important to begin with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it something that needs to be planned or is it something that can be more intuitive when it comes to like managing these things?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a healthy mix of both because people who are believing like, friendship should just feel like easy and organic and natural." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I totally get that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to some extent, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s a very elective relationship unlike other kinds of relationships, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, professional, I m here for my check." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or romantic, we re opting in and then opting out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like everything else is different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But friendship, we kind of fall into it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We kind of don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t have to be here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have like no contractual obligation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, so to some degree, we do want that kind of relationship to offer a sense of ease to our lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I get that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there needs to be some intention as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by that, I mean this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s research where they were trying to find how many" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "friends we can have and how many social connections we can maintain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m curious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they found that our brains can only cognitively really handle like 150 social connections." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you think about that like a large circle and you think about smaller and smaller like concentric circles inside of that, it represents smaller and smaller numbers, but the degree of closeness goes up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in that smallest circle, you have room for three to five super close" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultra close relationships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason I bring this up is because when you start to get intentional about like, okay, do I have time for friends?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re an extrovert trying to get coffee with 15 people, you are going to feel like I don t have time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel overextended because you re trying to do all the things with too many people and your concern is going wide instead of going deep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at some point, if you re feeling overwhelmed and you re like, I don t have time to be with all these friends, who are your three to five?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who are your three to five?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everybody else, maybe I ll catch you like in a group setting or maybe I ll catch... But who are my three to five?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it helps me to concentrate my time and it gives me more direction for how to spend my hours, which is a limited resource." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the person who s like, oh gosh, I don t know if I want to spend time with... I would question you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "do you like the people you hang out with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if it feels like a chore every time, like, oh, I ve got to spend time with friends, I m curious about why you would feel that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m an extrovert, and there are times when I m like, oh my god, I need a minute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But generally, when I think of friendship, I become tired instead of energized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who are you hanging out with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what are y all doing when you re together?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it might be an issue of you re hanging with the wrong people and y all are engaging in things you don t want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t enjoy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that could maybe offer a starting point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think it s important for the person that you date to like your friends?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think that s crucial or do you think that s like an added bonus?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What should we be striving for there?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, so in a perfect world, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like your boo thinks your friends are like just amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there actually is research that shows that couples who have an overlap, friendship overlap, meaning they share some friends are happier couples." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I know some people argue like, oh, they don t have to like them and our friend should be separate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I get that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in reality, for all kind of combining our lives, it helps if they kind of enjoy each other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but the reality is that partner might not be a big fan of your friends, or maybe he s like, oh, she talks too much, or like, she s always got drama." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think some of that s normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what worries me is when you feel like you have to choose between them, or he s trying to make you see that they re not worth your time, and they re trying to make you see that he s, then that s when we have like some tension, and that can be really problematic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you can t have an expectation that your partner" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "be in love with your girlfriend, sometimes it doesn t happen, but as long as we can have some kind of harmony, and one group s not trying to get me to terminate the other, you know, then we re good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in an ideal world, and according to the research, it helps when you can all be friends, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Talk to me about how to take a friendship that s maybe pretty good, pretty deep, and take it to the next level, like really," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know, I think it can be challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think some people even cringe at the idea of taking a friendship and making it deeper." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I love this question so freaking much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s because people, like the number one question I get is how do I make friends, which makes sense, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And typically it comes with some kind of qualifier, like how do I make friends as a new mom or as a woman in a new city?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get all that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at some point, you re collecting them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, remember what we said earlier about that research thing that quality relationships are what make us happy and physically healthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s one thing to have a lot of girls on the roster." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s another to have those all be superficial relationships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do we develop the skill of like, okay, if I wanted to advance this, what do I say?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So three things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a concept known as friend-timacy by an OG friendship expert, Shasta Nelson, and she argues that you need three things to create depth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Positivity, consistency, and vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So positivity, there s research that shows that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "successful relationships have a positivity to negativity ratio of five to one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for every one negative interaction we have, we need to have five positives to offset that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of us get into friendships or befriend people who like, it s negative and it s chronic complaining and all that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fine to some degree, but how often are we doing that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one way to" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "create depth is to find more like joy in the friendship so that we re not just bonding over the negative." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second thing is consistency." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot get away from having to spend time together to deepen the friendship." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I stand by that and people are trying to find hacks and get around and be like, oh, I just need like one coffee date every other month." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the research finds that it takes 34 hours to take somebody from an acquaintance to a friend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I always joke, if you had a little timer on your head, would you be like, oh, OK, we need eight more hours?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How would you become more intentional if you knew, OK, it s going to take 34 hours?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s saying that has to happen in two weeks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe over five months time, what s the rush?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But how am I sitting down and being like, OK, she s so cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to get to know her." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I actively doing to spend time with you to uncover more things about you, who you are, your style, your values?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got to spend time together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t just read your Insta bio." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to know you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then finally, I mean, we hear this all the time, but vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to get deeper and know her better, you re going to have to be vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the one thing I will say here, because people are like, yes, vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to correct something really quick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vulnerability does not just mean blab about all your business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you are oversharing in a compulsive way, it is not vulnerability because vulnerability by definition means you re taking a risk of rejection." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meaning you say to yourself, oh, this might not go well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She might reject me for it, but I m going to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to put myself out there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if in our first conversation, I m telling you about," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my hygiene and my sex life, my money troubles, my mental health, my addictions, and my trauma, it is not a risk for me because I enjoy talking about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know some people might- Interesting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I enjoy talking about all the quote unquote traditionally heavy things, it is not being vulnerable because I don t feel any risk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like going into those things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vulnerability is when it feels really risky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to do that with people you want to get deeper with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So vulnerability might look like you and I go on a coffee date and I m driving away thinking like, okay," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s really cool, I would love to do that again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not gonna ask her, because what if that looks clingy?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, okay, I m gonna ask her." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me to say, hey, do you wanna get together again, is vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, sharing about traumas and things like that can be vulnerable too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you are taking certain risks, putting yourself out there and opening up, you know it might be risky, but you re doing it for the sake to be more known and to be deeper in the relationship," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a good thing and the last thing I ll say is there s something known as the beautiful mess effect And it s this idea that we tend to like people more after they ve been vulnerable Yeah, so lean into that if your goal is to create more depth with existing friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I mean I ve I ve never experienced Like a person being vulnerable with me and me afterward" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "like them less." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very humanizing and very endearing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I agree." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s it s so that s huge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, I think I m somebody who over shares and like but not I don t think it s in like a crazy way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m also I m someone who can talk about anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s very hard for me to be in a weird way vulnerable because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not uncomfortable by talking about various things that are considered, like, deep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, if somebody asks me a question about something deep, it s like, I don t care, I ll answer that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I just, it s, so, for me being vulnerable is, like, going and asking about, like, I m, I don t like asking to hang out first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always wait for people to come to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s not, that s where it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s, you just spoke to me right there, because that s so true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How much should we be" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "going out and, you know, sort of chasing after friendship versus how much should we sort of wait for it to come to us?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I think it s sort of a similar thing to, you know, I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s sort of confusing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, there s a lot to that where it s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do kind of have to chase after things a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole I don t chase, I attract is a really cute phrase for a tote bag, I think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I totally get that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think at the heart of that is to pursue things so much that you re losing a sense of self." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You totally get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we have got to get comfortable expressing platonic desire." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m like, man, Emma s cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just going to head around and see if she wants to get together or I m going to send her a message that I think she thinks is funny." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to let her know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to let her know I enjoy her and I d love to spend more time with her company." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do think that makes a lot of people cringe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The idea of having your desire be so" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "seen and naked feels very vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I want active friendships, I have to be active." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to the point of what s too much of pursuing this and that, I think that you have to, this sounds very woo-woo, and this is not traditionally me, but I always say, you have to embody the identity of being a connector." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can t just be something you do, it has to be who you are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you say to yourself, hey, I m a connector, that s who I am," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then naturally when you initiate texts with people or somebody crossed your mind, so you send her a message or you want to hang out with somebody, so you ask them, there s power in that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As opposed to the passive reactiveness of like, well, if they reach out to me, then I will." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To some degree, I have certain authority of my own friendships." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I like you, I m going to be like, oh my God, we should totally get together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, don t be foolish." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I ve asked multiple times and somehow this person s always busy and they never offer an alternative, hey, I m busy on Saturday, but hey, can we do Tuesday?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m getting all the signs and cues that this person is not wanting to invest the same way, I take that information and I use that as the data I need to know how to better direct my efforts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it is a balance of pursuing and boldly claiming" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what you want and who you enjoy, but also wisely discerning who s reciprocating and where that investment would be best returned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s huge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I m ready to go out and make some fucking friends this weekend, baby." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, or maybe I m just going to deepen." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I might just deepen my existing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re good on new ones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, maybe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You never know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was so incredibly helpful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like my brain is filled with so much knowledge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so glad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so glad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for asking such thoughtful questions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sharing about yourself, I think is, I mean, that s what, you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love making it about me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really do." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,824
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A metaphor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yum, yum, yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is like a Krispy Kreme donut for the brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is like an Arby s curly fry for the brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is like an everything bagel for the brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is like a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a little bit melted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like super hard, like you can easily get your spoon into it for the brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A metaphor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yummy yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my favorite metaphor this week is the lens that we view life through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, we re not actually looking through a lens at life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we re looking through our eyes, which kind of have" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "lenses in them in one way or another, but today we re going to be discussing the metaphorical lens that we use to view life through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I say lens, I m referring to the perspective that we live our lives by, our attitude towards life, our general point of view towards life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am loving this metaphor right now because it s something I m really working on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s something I will work on for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making sure that I m looking through life as a whole, but also individual situations through the proper lens, through the best lens possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that this shit might sound obvious, like, yeah, Emma, we need to look at life through a positive lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, Emma, we need to look at life through an accurate lens, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I know it is obvious and I know it is important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, as with most obvious things, they can sneakily fall out of our control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if not properly maintained, they can deviously ruin our quality of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently realized that I was looking at a ton of things through the wrong lens, and it was making my life worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of talk about how we create our own universe, our perspective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way that we choose to see the world, the way that we choose to see others is our own creation in our imagination, in our brains." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s really true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve had a few moments recently where I suddenly realized that I had been looking at certain situations in my life through the wrong lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I ve hated Los Angeles since I moved here, pretty much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I moved here when I was 17." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the last five years, anytime anyone would ask me, Emma, do you like living in Los Angeles?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say, no, this is the worst place in the fucking world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am having a hard time finding people that I like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of dirty and gross." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I don t feel safe a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone here is fake." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I could walk to a coffee shop, but you have to drive everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically being a negative little brat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I ve been a negative little brat about LA pretty much since I ve moved here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But recently, recently, I have fallen in love with Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love this place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck was wrong with me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I had it all wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It dawned on me one day when I was on a little walk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was warm, and the breeze was flowing through my hair, and I heard the birds chirping." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then soon after that, I got into my car to go run errands." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I rolled the windows down, and the breeze was flowing through my hair, and I was listening to music, and the sun was shining, and I was like, I love it here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I was driving through the same streets that I once hated, now feeling pure bliss and gratitude." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only thing that changed was the lens that I was looking at Los Angeles through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was looking at L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "through a hateful lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "only choosing to see the negative sides of it, and not taking any accountability at all for the role that I was playing and why it sucks for me, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For one, I was hanging out with a tiny community in Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I moved here, and the only people I knew to hang out with were other people in my industry, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other YouTubers, other Instagrammers, other podcasters, whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only hanging out with people in my industry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was also living in an area that did not suit me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like a bit of a quieter, more relaxed home environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was choosing to live in the center of Los Angeles, like in the thick of it, in the middle of everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was complaining when chaos would ensue because, yeah, it s like I live on a main street in Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course chaos is going to ensue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are other areas to live in L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m choosing to live in the thick of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my fault." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m overwhelmed by it or I feel suffocated by it, that is my fault." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was also hanging around people who, frankly, hated L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even more than I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that didn t help either because people rub off on you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if everyone around me is like, oh, doesn t L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "suck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate it here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This place fucking sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, OK, well, now, of course, now I think it sucks, too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you hear something enough, it becomes, unfortunately, sometimes your own belief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a few things happened that really changed my lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, for one, I moved out of the center of L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I live in a slightly quieter area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that changed everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that was number one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, I started hanging out around people who love L.A., who appreciate L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for what it is, see it through a positive lens naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just naturally see Los Angeles through a positive lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re aware of the flaws, because don t get me wrong, there are flaws." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but they love it for what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started hanging out around people like that who have a positive lens about LA, yes, but also about life in general." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That helped me across the board, but it really helped me when it came to my relationship with Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve also branched out and started meeting people who aren t in my industry, aren t in my little bubble." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not even necessarily in deeply friendly ways, but I ve just started to pay attention more to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "random people that I meet at the grocery store, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s good people around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There really are good people around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have heartfelt, cute experiences on a weekly basis here in Los Angeles when I pay attention." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether it s someone opening the door for me or it s someone complimenting my shoes" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through a series of events, my lens towards Los Angeles has shifted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it wasn t an active shift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t make a choice to shift my lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just happened naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wish that I would have taken action sooner and shifted it myself because I really do love it here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now that my lens is more positive about LA," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m seeing so much more of its greatness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you get what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I saw L.A." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "through a negative lens, I was just seeing all the negative shit about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was so vivid to me in my lens that I couldn t see any of the positive stuff that was happening in the peripheral." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was blurred out in my old lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, because my lens is positive, yeah, I m still aware of the bullshit that goes on here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, whether it s" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fake vibes every once in a while or pretentious vibes sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, that s mainly just in the industry that I m in, but it s actually not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of goes beyond that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of the culture here, but to an extent, like it s stereotypical, but it does exist in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that still exists." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still a mess of a city." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a big city." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a mess sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s scary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels dangerous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re scared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all that still exists." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I just I love it here now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see it through a positive lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see all of the beauty that it has to offer and all of the fun that it has to offer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For so long, I wanted to move to New York." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, New York is better for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I feel like there s a better social scene for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the values seem to be better there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are more down to earth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can walk everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also know myself, and I think the reason why I never moved to New York was because I don t think it would have been good for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have been far away from my family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t have had the freedom of being able to drive my car anywhere I want to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love nature, and it s very hard to access nature in New York." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love peace and quiet and calmness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not happening in New York." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it would have been good for me, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I romanticized it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw New York through this delusionally dreamlike lens, and that was not accurate either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That wasn t even a positive lens because I was looking at New York in a positive lens only because I was looking at LA in a negative lens, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that I see LA through a positive lens, I see New York through a more realistic lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love New York, but New York is much less appealing to me when I m not trying to run away from something that I think that I hate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re looking at something from a naively negative lens, like you haven t seen enough or experienced enough to form a proper opinion," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can end up taking something good for granted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is what I did with Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a few bad experiences when I first moved here and I didn t get into the swing of things very quickly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I decided, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like LA and that is my opinion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not going to change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have made up my mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is permanent and no one can change my mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was really harmful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was taking Los Angeles for granted all this time when my quality of life could have been better all this time if I had just said, you know what, maybe that s not the right lens I should be looking at LA through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me try a more positive one and see how I feel about LA then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe, maybe then I will still want to leave Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can t be sure until I look at it through the most positive lens that I can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another lens that I unknowingly and unfortunately adopted was looking at life through a fear of failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it s hypocritical of me because I m the first one to say failure is great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Failure is crucial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We must fail on the journey to success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now when I say success, I don t mean like lots of money or lots of fame or lots of, no, success being defined by you personally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does success mean to you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that being happy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s complicated, but does it mean being fulfilled creatively?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it mean" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "having a lot of free time, like whatever success means for you, that is almost always reached through a series of failures along the way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Failure is crucial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shouldn t fear failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know this in my conscious brain, but without even realizing it, for many years, I was looking at life fearing failure subconsciously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that reared its ugly head in many areas of my life without me even realizing it at the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, on a personal level, I ve stayed in many relationships and even friendships for too long because subconsciously I felt like ending them was some sort of failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the relationship failed, then in some way as a human being, I have failed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I dragged things on for too long, knowing deep down that it was going to have to end eventually, just because I didn t want to fail." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a blow to my ego a little bit if it failed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of this was happening subconsciously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had no idea that it was happening, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m able to look back and see it clearly, but at the time I" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "couldn t quite figure out why I wasn t walking away, because I knew it was not working for me anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But every single relationship, platonic or romantic, that I ve stayed in for too long, it s been because of my little subconscious fear of failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been because of the lens that I was looking at relationships through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t looking through the lens of success, because the lens of success would have showed me that these relationships weren t working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would have said to myself, okay, well, if I want to find success in relationships, then I need to end these so I can make room for new, amazing, fruitful friendships and relationships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even with work or creative endeavors, I ve beaten a dead horse, if you will, on certain projects or endeavors, deep down knowing that they re not working because giving up on them would be a failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a small example would be, sometimes I sit down to record a podcast and I start talking and it s just not flowing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of stopping and pivoting and being like, you know what, I m just going to do a different topic today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to come up with something else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, you know, it might take me a while to come up with something new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, it s kind of a bummer to scrap an idea and best case scenario, save it for another day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the day will probably never come that I want to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "give it another try so it ll probably just end up going in the can and never will be used and all the time that I spent coming up with the idea was wasted and uh that sucks but I know that I should probably just pivot now and not beat a dead horse like just get rid of this and pivot I will torture myself and try to make the original idea work even though it s not working just because scrapping an episode is failing you know what I mean that s failure to me" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not as much anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m speaking about that in the present tense, but it s not as much present tense for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was something that was challenging for me a while back, far less now, but that s a great example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has happened to me with YouTube." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has happened to me with everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything in my career, I ve had this challenge where" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve taken a project or an endeavor that isn t working and I ve tried a little bit too long to make it work instead of pivoting and trying something else out of fear of failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t want to give it up because then I failed at that, you know, and I didn t give it my all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the problem is if you re looking at life through a lens that fears failure, then ironically you re preventing success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re wasting time on stuff that s not working, you re not spending time working on the next thing that could work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For this one, I almost have to close my eyes and think about if I actually was looking at life through these metaphorical lenses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think about looking through a failure lens, like avoiding failure lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I think about looking through that lens, it s like everything lights up as red, like caution, because with every endeavor, there s an opportunity for failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very chaotic, stressful lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think about looking through that lens, I see like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bright red flashing lights saying, about to fail, about to fail, about to fail, when something s not working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s chaotic and it s stressful and it s upsetting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think about looking through a success lens, like, oh, we re striving for success, whatever that may mean to us personally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of a bright green, blue, orangey, light and flowy lens, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I close my eyes and I think about a project that s not working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s showing up in the lens?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beautiful clouds that spell out, hey, maybe you should try something else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is why the lens metaphor is so powerful for me because when I think of these things, I don t know, it gives me a visual that I can remember in times when I know my lens is off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, maybe that only works for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it does, then that is super embarrassing and I shouldn t have shared that with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But those are two major examples of lens shifts that have happened in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "relatively recently, but there have been many more, many more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because honestly, we have to be checking up on our lenses all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like we just have one lens that we see all of life through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a bunch of little tiny lenses that we look at every unique situation through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that requires constant upkeep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would say there are three main things in my experience that impact your lenses that are important to pay attention to, like I pay attention to these things in order to keep my lenses in check." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, how my ego impacts my lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I have a few personal experiences that create a certain narrative in my head, that creates a pretty solid lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my ego can sometimes come in and make me stubborn about altering it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we all want to feel right about our opinions and about the way that we see the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to shake that sometimes, but whenever we find that we ve gotten stuck with a lens rooted in our narrow experiences in life, we must remind ourselves that there is more to life than our own personal experiences and beliefs, and it s much healthier" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to have an open-minded, more fluid lens rather than a stubborn, naive one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think any lens that is rooted in ego in some way is going to be inaccurate, and that s the problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be inaccurate in one extreme or in the other, usually, because it s based on our own personal experiences and not based on the experiences of the world around us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a great example of this would be my feelings towards Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had my experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "experiences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first moved to L.A." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I hung out with people that felt a certain type of way about L.A." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and my lens was screwed into my head and it took a whole lot of metaphorical unscrewing to change the lens because I was very wrapped up in my ego with that one for whatever reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I had my own experiences and I was convinced that that was just the truth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanted to be right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I didn t want to change my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it felt embarrassing almost to go back on my word and say, actually, I kind of like LA now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your lens can change and evolve over time as you have more life experiences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other people share their life experiences with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You hear stories in the news about other experiences over here so that over time you can build an accurate lens, not an egotistical lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An egotistical lens will never be accurate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that the right lens tends to be a primarily positive lens that is not delusionally positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a positive lens that strives to see the best in things while still being very aware of the flaws." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is the ideal, balanced, healthy lens in all categories of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there needed to be a formula, I would say that would be the formula." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, the people around you impact your lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people rub off on you, as I was saying earlier, the shit that people say seeps into your subconscious and can sometimes, arguably a lot of the times, become your own truth without you even realizing that it s happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if the people around you have a shitty lens, I can almost guarantee your lens will begin to suck too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the other hand, if their lens is great, chances are yours is going to become great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have had certain friends or partners in my life who have had a horrific lens, just in general about life, just a horrible fucking lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is not a coincidence that I ve had some of my darkest hours in their company because their lens became mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I would love to believe that my lens is strong and positive enough to rub off on other people, but sometimes" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that s wishful thinking and their lens rubs off on you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their lens becomes yours and you start to see the world through their lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve mainly found that in romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you re dating somebody, you re so close to them that you do start to see the world through their lens and vice versa." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, depending on who your partner is and what their lens is like, that can be great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can be amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can make life even better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it s the wrong person, maybe it s a negative person, maybe it s somebody who hasn t been checking up on their lenses, holy shit, can it be dark." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be really dark really quick." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re dating someone who hates the world," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hates everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hates where you live." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hates all the music that comes out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hates all the clothes that people wear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hates everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna start hating everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just important to pay attention to the lenses that the people you hold close have screwed on because that shit rubs off on you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you also rub off on them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, I don t know, it goes both ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you have your lenses all screwed on right, and you picked out all the right ones and you re doing great, and then you go and start hanging out with somebody who doesn t have their shit together like that," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could either be beneficial for the both of you or harmful for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s just important to pay attention to it because I can t tell you how many times I ve fallen into a dark place because of the people around me and their horrific lenses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, similar to how the people you hang out with impact you, what you consume impacts your lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You really are what you consume and I know this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I know this because it s so vivid when shifts happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, if I m reading a certain type of book, the tone, the feeling of that book will shift the lens that I see the world through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if the book is scary, suddenly I m a little bit scared when I turn all my lights out at night and I see the world through a spooky lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m reading a wholesome book where there s, you know, a lot of love and all this, I see the world through a loving lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I love my mom and my dad, I love my parents, and I love my boyfriend, or I love my best friends, or I love my dog, or, oh, I don t have a dog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love my cats, and I, like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of a sudden, I love everyone, and I m crying, and I love everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m reading a book about a natural disaster, all I can think about is natural disasters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m walking outside, like, oh my God, is there gonna be a fucking tornado today?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You start to see the world through that lens, what you consume." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on social media, on TV, on YouTube, in books." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this impacts your lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s beautiful about this, though, is that when it s something that you re vividly, vividly, very consciously aware of," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fun thing that you can control in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are in control of your lenses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You choose who you hang out with, and you can choose to hang out with people who have phenomenal lenses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, all of a sudden, you have phenomenal lenses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can choose what type of entertainment you choose to consume." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can play around and experiment and see how this type of book or this type of movie makes you feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If those types of things make you feel good and screw on a good lens for you, lean into that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make conscious decisions to change your lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to try to see this area of my life through a more positive lens and see what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to try to see the good in this area of my life and see what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still going to be aware of the bad, but I m just going to try." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s crazy how that decision can change your lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sometimes your lenses shift as life shifts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like that happened to me with LA." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just made new friends, moved to a different area, and next thing I knew I was like, wait a minute, this place is kind of great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t hate it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can happen too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m realizing that it is somewhat of a superpower to be aware of all of these things so that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can just make the world a better, brighter place through my eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that I can control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t control what happens to me in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shitty stuff happens sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very fortunate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But still, shitty stuff happens to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happens to everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a positive lens is not going to change that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something that I must clarify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like looking at life through good lenses means that there are no struggles, there are no challenges, there are no bad things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But instead, it s screwing on the right lens so that you see the right things, you see the opportunities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I m fucking just talking myself into oblivion here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know what I m saying anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that this made sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I talk about this shit and I m just like, what the hell am I even saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes sense to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if it ll make sense to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, and you know, this episode might be a failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m trying to look through a lens of success." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even if this is a failure, maybe this episode is going to teach me something that will lead me to an episode down the line that is a success." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I will have a learning from this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m looking out my window, and I m looking at trees here in Los Angeles, and I m grateful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And life is good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, hopefully this was somewhat helpful in one way or another, if it was and if you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram to keep up with the show at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain to keep up with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you, especially if you live in the US." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go ahead and check out the store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in Walmart, we re in Target, we are in Whole Foods." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go find us, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or just order online if you don t live near a store that we re in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always love hanging out with you and just talking about metaphors, yummy little metaphors of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that you enjoy it too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you don t, that s totally fine too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I totally get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love you and I ll talk to you so soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you next week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I ve dabbled in the world of psychedelics a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve taken mushrooms a few times, maybe five, maybe five times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And luckily all my experiences have been really good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve taken mushrooms a few times at a party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which I ve enjoyed a lot because every time I ve taken mushrooms at a party, I ve weirdly just felt sharper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I, I ve felt like a clearer view of the room, you know, socially, it s been fascinating and interesting to analyze everyone in a psychedelic way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I feel like I can," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "read the room more accurately than I ever have before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I m seeing clearly for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my opinions on people sort of change and become weirdly more accurate on mushrooms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s been my party mushroom experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve dabbled" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in psychedelics, but I really don t know a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think it s becoming an increasingly more relevant topic as it s being revealed that it can help with mental health issues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has therapeutic qualities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m curious about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know a lot about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going to be interrogating Robin Carhart-Harris today, a pioneer and leading researcher in human neuroscience in psychopharmacology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he s best known for his groundbreaking work on how psychedelics affect the brain and how they can be used to treat mental health issues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In 2019, he founded the world s first center for psychedelic research at Imperial College London." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there, he oversaw human brain imaging studies with LSD, psilocybin, MDMA, and DMT." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Robin has also overseen several clinical trials of psilocybin therapy for disorders including depression, anorexia, and fibromyalgia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Basically, he is all about using psychedelics to help" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "human suffering, improve the quality of people s lives through psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, you know, I think a lot of us think of psychedelics and we think of, I don t know, doing shrooms with friends and painting and painting or doing shrooms at a music festival or doing LST at a rave or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we think of psychedelics as being something" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that is very much recreational and also illegal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just, it s..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sort of hard to comprehend in a way because I feel like we all have such a clear view of what psychedelics are, but today we re going to learn a new definition of psychedelics with the king, the king of psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He might not like me calling him that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Robin Carhart Harris, here he is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think my first question for you is to like fully, I m just," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Throwing it on you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My first question has to be, what was your first psychedelic experience?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you even have one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you ve never even tried them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s funny that you would ask it that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people say, have you ever tried it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It usually goes that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not, you know, tell me about your first one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m wondering about the first one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gosh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to share." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was, uh, I was in my teens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was, uh," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the summer of 1995." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 43 now, so I was 14." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Young." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was the summer holidays and I was with a couple of friends and we d planned it out and it was LSD and it was, it was called a golden microdot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was in my hometown of Bournemouth and it all happened there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where I turned on for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And was it a good experience, would you say?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it was pretty nightmarish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it sort of develops and gets weird and then gets weirder and weirder and weirder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I thought I died and I thought I was in hell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not good, is it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought I d been hit by a car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so my my bloodied corpse was probably on the road back there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I m feeling this weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the only way I could possibly feel this weird is that I must be dead." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, yeah, that was probably the peak sort of, you know, negativity of the trip." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It got better, but good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At least it got better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know I ve I ve been so lucky that I haven t had" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A bad experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have very few experiences, but I ve always done mushrooms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like that was my first experience was with mushrooms and it was at a party and it was just a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the only psychedelic experiences I ve ever had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a little micro dose, like not even a micro dose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like a little more maybe than a micro dose at a party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s all I ve done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s, that s the better way to do it for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, within reason and context, but jumping in the deep end like I did was a silly way to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people are more, you know, younger people are more, um, clued up about psychedelics these days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the definition of psychedelic?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what, what is it for, for those who are listening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And even for me, how do you define psychedelics?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the word itself means soul revealing, psyche means soul, most literally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other bit means to reveal or to make visible or manifest and kind of a poetic term, but coined in reference to psychedelic drugs, even though we apply it to art and music, it started with the drugs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "um came on the scene in the 1950s after LSD was discovered in the 1940s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So really like at its core it s referring to what these drugs do to the mind and that they reveal it, they open it up and so uh yeah that s that s what the word means and then you know psychedelic drugs, drugs like LSD, magic mushrooms, psilocybin is the drug in magic mushrooms, got DMT and ayahuasca," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s lots of psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People sometimes lump MDMA, molly, ecstasy in with psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think you can kind of get away with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of soul revealing in a sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, it has different properties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure I d put that one right at its core." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then maybe ketamine, but not really in my book, but kind of a pit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, there are some that are sort of fringe edge case psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think you wanted to research psychedelics because of your sort of horrific first experience or was your journey to researching psychedelics different?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what got you there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it must ve been that, that, you know, started paving the road, but it wasn t obvious by the time I came to being kind of academic and, um, quite different to how I was in my teens, I was just drawn into psychology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was really into psychology, trying to understand the mind, I guess, you know, wanting to better understand myself and other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got really into depth psychology, so psychoanalysis stuff, like unconscious mind and the ego and Freudian stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then while doing that, while studying that, I discovered that psychedelics" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "were used in the fifties and sixties in psychoanalytic psychotherapy to reveal the unconscious mind and dissolve the ego." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I realized that and the penny dropped and I thought about, you know, my trips, it all made sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, ah, yes, of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you have any psychological challenges growing up maybe that made you interested in how psychedelics can help the mind?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, was that something that was inspiring to you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that something that you maybe felt like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of times we fall into our passion out of necessity in a way, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not always that way, but it kind of was for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, I need this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you have that with psychedelics at all?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, was it like, maybe you re anxious or maybe you re, you know, you ve struggled with depression." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you struggled with those things and has that made you more interested in psychedelics as sort of a form of therapy in a way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, in a, in a sort of indirect way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was an anxious teenager for sure, socially anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was the pull to psychology." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I was like, what the hell s going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I don t understand this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This shouldn t be happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, it s annoying as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I, yeah, I guess in that sense, I was looking for some answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was, that was the pull into psychology and it was very strong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was really like only that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, I wasn t going to be a professional footballer that way, by the way, soccer player." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But so that was that was the pull." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it wasn t obvious to me that psychedelics were helpful for mental health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Until until like I was in the job researching it, in a sense, when I wanted to first research psychedelics, which is in my" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "um early 20s and I d done my psychoanalysis masters and I was looking for a PhD and I wanted to do a brain imaging study with LSD and I took that to someone in the UK and said you know this is what I really want to do and but it wasn t because I thought they could be useful in in mental in treating mental illness it was just that I thought that they were really you know amazing tools to see into the mind and that we would" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "get, you know, amazing insights into the nature of the mind and the brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If we did something like this, gave someone LSD in a brain scanner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, I couldn t believe that no one had ever done that before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, it was some way along, probably once we started giving people psilocybin, magic mushrooms in a brain scanner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, and then they said they felt really good afterwards despite having magic mushrooms in a brain scanner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I started putting things together, um, in terms of the history of magic mushroom use by certain cultures for, you know, visionary medicinal reasons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the history with the psychotherapy stuff in the sixties, fifties and sixties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we looked at the brain imaging data and saw things that made sense in the context of other treatments for depression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, yeah, we put kind of two and two together and wrote a grant application to do a trial with psilocybin therapy and depression, which ended up being the first trial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now we might be a couple of years away from psilocybin being a licensed medicine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Across the Western world, you know, it s all like little stepping stones forward, different studies, but that was a pretty important milestone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One was doing that first depression trial with psilocybin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like there are so many psychedelic drugs and it can be easy as somebody who maybe doesn t study it to sort of lump them all in together in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What are the key differences between" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "the main psychedelic drugs?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah well the main classic psychedelics would be drugs like LSD, psilocybin, magic mushrooms, DMT which is in ayahuasca but people smoke DMT as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In our studies we actually inject it and then you ve got" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a compound that s sort of weird, but it s probably a classic psychedelic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, they re all weird, but 5-methoxy DMT, which was identified from these toads quite recently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But anyway, I would say broadly speaking, at least DMT, LSD, psilocybin, those are the classic psychedelics and they re the ones that might open the psyche and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "reveal like you know maybe things that you ve uh repressed or overlooked or for sure they re really um perceptually visually perceptually disturbing like if we were tripping right now yeah depending on dose you know the walls might be moving and swaying and there s like a fractal kind of quality to to things surfaces and everything s more animated and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Things can distort and then you close your eyes and you can have these very vivid, elaborate visions that sort of morph and change, have a kind of dreamlike quality in a sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are the classic psychedelics, you know, historically some people like to call them hallucinogens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A little bit misleading because you don t typically see like a little green man just, you know, run through the wall into the room and start dancing or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right, it s not random." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not random." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s usually things that you re seeing that become distorted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, and depending on dose, they can become really distorted and drug." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you close your eyes, sure, you re seeing things that in a sense aren t there, but then they ve got to come from somewhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they come from the mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would say like revealing things of the mind is really the quintessence of classic psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is what the term is saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s true, that and the visual side of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So near neighbor psychedelics like MDMA is more about sensation, positive emotion, like a sense of social, deep social connection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s more reliably positive in a sense NDMA." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s rarer that it would get dark and scary like classic psychedelics can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, that s why it s often combined with, you know, music, listening and stuff and dancing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in a psychotherapeutic context, it can allow you to go to dark places without being overwhelmed necessarily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, for example, in post-traumatic stress disorder," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People have been developing MDMA therapy for treating that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, combat veterans or victims of many types of trauma, severe trauma that cripples them psychologically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They can talk about those experiences under the MDMA where usually they just really couldn t talk about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, they would have overwhelming flashbacks or they might dissociate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s an incredible tool to facilitate psychotherapy in that sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And with MDMA people generally can talk, you know, maybe with the classic psychedelics, like a big dose of magic mushroom psilocybin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so intense and weird that like talking is left till later on generally, you know, in the psychotherapy that that happens later on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s others like ketamine is more of a, it s more of a dissociative." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s defined that way as a dissociative anesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you give too much, it becomes an anesthetic and knocks you out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s dangerous that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, and it is used as an anesthetic in certain contexts, but it s less emotional in a sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, um, I don t think it s, it s so reliably revealing of the psyche, like the classic psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With the classic psychedelics in psychedelic therapy, there s often a lot of tears." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And actually, it s a funny thing to say, but when people are crying in the trials, we generally know it s working, which is weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s a kind of catharsis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a release of this pent up emotion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we think that s, you know, part of the healing action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So do these different drugs, when they impact the brain, do they impact the brain differently?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like do mushrooms impact the brain differently than LSD?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or is it sort of like, I m assuming they must be different because they re all sort of used for different things, or is it that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, like what is the difference on a technical level inside of the brain?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like if you were to look at a scan of the brain, it s like, are different areas lighting up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the difference?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at the lowest level, sort of molecular level, yeah, the drugs look a bit different and that relates to how they stick to stuff in the brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they stick to different stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when they stick, they do different things as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, so drugs like LSD and psilocybin are actually quite similar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they look a lot like a brain chemical called serotonin, which is swimming around our brains right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most of it s actually in our guts, but in the brain, it does some important things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s involved in a lot of different things, sleep, mood." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we think especially mood probably." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there are certain sort of signaling proteins in the brain that serotonin would bind to and stimulate, and these drugs do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "LSD, psilocybin, because they look like serotonin, they re sort of like serotonin imposters, and they ll stick to these." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re called serotonin receptors, these proteins that will kind of tune brain function in different ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s one in particular, it s called the serotonin 2A receptor, that the classic psychedelics stick to, and then they do their thing there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To cut a very technical story short to the gist of it, by stimulating these serotonin 2A receptors, they cause brain activity to become, in a sense, more chaotic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "dysregulated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the usual kind of regulated function of our brains and our minds, like right now, being able to talk and stitch things together, have some sense of like assuredness about what s what." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That depends on the regularity in a sense of our functioning brains right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when they get funky and dysregulated, so does our experience of the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s kind of the gist of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s more to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the sort of breakdown side of things, but maybe in, well, we think in the breakdown side of things, there s also a release side of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So stuff that before was constrained can come up more easily, like emotional circuitry can" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "can be let off the leash a little bit, you know, and that can account for the crying and so on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe the insight as well, because memories that were being constrained and now are unconstrained and can come up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s sort of what s happening maybe during, you know, while the drug is in your system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what happens after?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, do you go completely back to normal at some point?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or like after you do a psychedelic drug, are you forever changed in the brain?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t know, but you might be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is a recent discovery of ours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just on the cusp of splashing it to the public." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we gave people their first magic mushroom experience, and we did it in a placebo-controlled way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So first of all, we give them something inert that has no effect, really." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s actually a very low dose of psilocybin that shouldn t have any action." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We scan their brains before all that, we scan their brains after the placebo, and then we give them a whopping dose of psilocybin, their first ever psychedelic experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we look in their brains a month after, and we did see some enduring changes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And actually it was in the anatomy of the brain, which is kind of weird and maybe at first a bit scary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it is a question mark now, is that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What if we looked a year later or even longer, would we still see it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it a permanent change?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does the change mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All these questions, that s kind of classic science really." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sort of teases you, gives you a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve got a bunch of other questions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we have seen this change." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we look at the cabling of the brain and we look at" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how that changes, whether it changes at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We saw that it changed and it changed in a direction which is the opposite direction to what happens in aging and pathologies of aging like Alzheimer s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So on that level, it s a good thing, maybe a good thing, we don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a consistent direction to what happens in the brain when you go from being a baby into being an adult." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the fibers are becoming sort of more packed, we think, maybe, but we don t really know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The cables are sort of truer in the direction that they re going in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re less sort of diffuse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, that s what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a diffusivity measure along a long cable that goes from the front of the brain into the middle of the brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you think, I mean, let s say somebody has a bunch of mushrooms at home and they eat all of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just a bunch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They just eat all of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, what happens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, are psychedelics the type of thing that you can OD on?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because it is, to me, like, you know, with other drugs, like, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you can very easily OD, just die." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t hear about that ever with psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, can you overdo it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if so, what happens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or do we not even know that either?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, we do know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We do know because, you know, they say the dose makes the poison." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s true across the board for anything, any kind of drug." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you could take too much mushrooms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would most likely happen is just that you would sort of lose awareness, lose contact with reality completely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You wouldn t really know that you re a human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You certainly wouldn t be able to talk or walk, you know, you probably wouldn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know of OD through the direct toxicity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know of a vague case of a heart attack in someone who was elderly and had cardiac issues, had a vulnerable heart in the first place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s not like say fentanyl where it s far too easy to OD and kill so many people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, even alcohol has this small window of where you can be a bit tipsy or drunk to it s pretty dangerous now and can be fatal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thankfully, it s quite rare that you re going to OD because of like some organ failure because of psilocybin or, or some other, you know, toxins say probably be more likely to be some other ingredient in the mushrooms than psilocybin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, but, but, you know, nevertheless, if you, you eat that big plate of mushrooms, like it s not, it s not good news psychologically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to be a wild ride." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might not remember much of it, that too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, and, uh, if, if you are conscious and online, so to speak, it s going to be just so outlandishly weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that it s probably unpleasant as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you found that a bad trip can actually be a beneficial one?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that like, because I mean, I think a lot of people go into using psychedelics thinking, I hope that this is a good one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, like, I hope that I hope this is good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hope that, you know, I m that I don t see anything bad, that I don t see anything scary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "inherently bad to have a bad trip?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or could it even be beneficial in some way?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it can be beneficial potentially." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, it s not inherently bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, maybe it is if it s really bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So bad by severity and bad by duration, like the entirety of the trip was just hellish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was probably bad news and that, you know, the lasting impact of that is probably going to be more likely to be negative than positive, or at least not so obviously positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But many trips have the challenge and often that challenge happens early on when things start getting weird and, and, you know, your sense of self starts breaking down and there s something sort of instinctive that wants to push back on that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I don t like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe attempts to stop it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and they re kind of futile." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that resistance can sort of define the struggle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "often happens is that there s a sort of almost like a surrender to the struggle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, okay, I m tripping, you know, let s sort of sink into this and drop into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it very subtly and quickly can change into something that you re like surfing rather than just battling against." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s the kind of way we sort of tutor people in a sense, supervise people when we do the psychedelic therapy, sort of mentor people is to, you know, we don t dress it up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be challenging and especially early on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you feel that, know that your body s safe, that you re being looked after." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Know that we ve seen this before many, many times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, we re confident in, you know, medicine and, and, um, try, try and go with the flow of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you noticed that there s something that can lead to a bad trip?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It sounds like sort of fighting it can lead you to a bad experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, is it even clear sort of what." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "makes an experience bad?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it maybe somebody who has a lot of demons in particular?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or can it kind of just happen to anyone?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s sort of whatever your subconscious decides to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do we know what creates a bad trip?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not one thing, but we do know that there s a few potential contributors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One is simply just taking too much" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s harder to surf something when it s, you know, really, really intense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yes, people with a history of adverse life experiences, history of trauma, yeah, there s more, more dark stuff in there and it can come up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also the intentions, if you re sort of trying to take a psychedelic for escapist reasons, it doesn t work that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to slap you in the face and cause a confrontation rather than an escape." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like the inverse of what you were hoping for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, younger people do seem to be more vulnerable to challenging experiences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s true even if you take into account experience with the drugs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s a sort of logic to people who are less experienced are more likely to have challenging experiences because those who are more experienced have, well, they ve learned a lot, but they re also just simply gone back, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that would be unlikely if, you know, you had a really challenging experience and you closed the door on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interrelational things, relationship stuff, um, can, can be a trigger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life stress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like situational things, big time, you know, tripping in the wrong place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes that s hard to predict, because you could even be in nature thinking, oh, nature and psychedelics really go well together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, like, the cops show up, or what look like the cops, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it takes a turn that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, that formula isn t always that reliable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What about microdosing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the impact of microdosing on the brain?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the brain, yeah, there s been a little bit of work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems to do something even when you don t really notice it in the brain, which is quite cool and curious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the sort of idea with microdosing is that you can sort of cheat the trip in a sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes so little that you re not tripping, but you re getting something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really the idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some people really swear by it, you know, big names, Paul Stamets, at least in my field, Jim Fadiman and like Amanda Fielding, the Begley Foundation, they re all really passionate believers in microdosing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s tricky because we ve done a bit of science there and it hasn t always come through as compelling that it s really doing something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard actually for microdosing to beat placebo in trials." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s what made me, that s kind of what I was thinking, like about microdosing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very trendy in LA, you know, to microdose and whatever every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it is, you know, placebo, people overlook placebo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve wondered with psychedelics, it s like, if it s not, can it work in the background or does it have to be sort of a vivid experience in order for it to work, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, is the benefit from" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The trip itself, like, does it have to feel like a trip in order for it to do all the things that it does?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I guess that s sort of in my question is like, is that trip and that experience the thing that changes the brain?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a big question in the field." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a big question and there s debate around it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I m of the school of thought that the trip is important, really important, and actually the evidence supports that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we can measure the trip in a few different ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can look at different aspects of its quality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can look at how strong the emotional breakthrough is, that kind of crying stuff I was talking about earlier, the catharsis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The mystical type experience is a popular one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of a sense of transcendence and being at one with things, you know, nature, other people, the world, psychological insight, having insight into yourself and your past that you feel, then feel is helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So these are all things of the trip, of the psychedelic, psyche revealing, you know, property, core property of the drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so to try and cheat that by taking a tiny little dose, I m not sure it really works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or there s even ideas that you can cheat it by playing with the molecules and the pharmacology to get an action that isn t a trip, but is therapeutic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just think that that s sort of," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of missing the point and also isn t really that logical because the trip in the human data seems to be carrying the response." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I think microdosing" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is a bit like trying to bypass some of the psychotherapy aspects of psychedelic therapy through just relying on the drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the other thing with microdosing is that it s a more regular use of the drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be a tiny dose, but the idea is to like have a course of taking a psychedelic, maybe" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "three or four times a week for six weeks, you know, and that starts to sound a little bit more like a course of an antidepressant like Prozac or something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest for people like me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having seen what psychedelic therapy can be in depression and other psychiatric disorders with just one or two dosing sessions, but the doses are high, but people are very well looked after and there is that psychotherapeutic support before and after." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Seeing the life transformations with that approach, I wonder why you would, you know, favor that old model of relying more on a drug rather than just one or two doses of a drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the rest is really the psychotherapy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a bit of an attempt to sort of cheat the model, maybe because the model is a little hard to fit into the system." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s dig into sort of the life-changing effects, you know, psychedelics can have on anxiety and depression." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sort of dig into what you ve discovered there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gosh, I mean, the transformations are amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Often, you know, people claim that the intervention has been life-saving, literally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d say that they probably wouldn t be around anymore through taking their life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve also done trials in anorexia and, you know, it s the most deadly psychiatric disorder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So life-saving, but in a sense, a different way, although the anorexia can be like a slow suicide in a sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, psychedelic therapy for severe drug and alcohol abuse." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, the intervention can be life saving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, the turnaround is pretty remarkable and when it s so fast, I mean, I m talking about the best cases, but there s a lot of very, very good transformations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so people understand what kind of proportions am I talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the depression trials, it s about two thirds of people, 60, 70% will show a significant response." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s better by roughly about 20% on current treatments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a pretty potentially pretty significant improvement, I would say, on current treatments by efficacy alone, how well it works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a bunch of other stuff to worry about in a sense, but that s a big one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got to work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got to work well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, yeah, we have done those trials in depression." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Personally, I designed a couple of trials, helped design a third trial that a company has now developed on and are doing what s called a phase three trial, which could lead to a license for psilocybin therapy for depression federally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t some state level ballot initiative or anything that s happened as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this is through the medical system, getting psilocybin approved so doctors can give it basically." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that could be a couple of years away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "MDMA could even get a license like that for treating PTSD this year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been filed already and is being looked at by the medical regulators here in the US." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re on the cusp of major like infrastructure level changes with psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We won t necessarily notice it overnight, which is a good thing, I think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, it needs to be a sort of incremental change, but like key sort of milestones are about to be reached this year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So exciting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think everyone can benefit from psychedelics in some way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, do you think that, like, let s say, let s take the average person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, being a human comes with challenges." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everybody has a little depressive episode, a little anxious episode here and there as a result of what s happening in their lives." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they don t have an ongoing issue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s take the average person who has the average ups and downs, but maybe doesn t need to be treated for anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would they still benefit from psychedelics in some way?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you think that it s not something that should ever be used" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for everyone and rather it s more useful when attacking a specific problem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t think we should be prescriptive like, you know, I don t know if Timothy Leary really said this, you know, his phrase is turn on tune and drop out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the idea is that he was trying to popularize it so that everyone would take LSD in the sixties." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wouldn t be prescriptive like that, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Even so, I think most people probably can benefit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no should here, it s just more like could." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could, totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you don t have to be suffering from depression where now it s really obvious that it could benefit you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, sure, the transformation there could be really dramatic, could be lifesaving." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But that doesn t mean that healthy people can t improve in their life satisfaction and well-being." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like we ve done those studies and quite reliably and markedly people improve." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s, you know, often a nice long tail to it as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like it lasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think maybe for the average person it s beneficial because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s kind of fun, but sometimes, you know, like that first trip I was telling you about, it s, it s not always fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, uh, you take too much, it s the wrong context." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so, and that s not just me sort of saying, you know, kids don t try this at home." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s just the truth of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, you know, it, it isn t a walk in the park." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was a very weird walk in the park." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s a lot of drugs that are hedonic, that just make you feel good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, people talk about, oh, let s not be too exceptionalist about psychedelics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hear that, but I also think they re quite distinct from a lot of drugs in how sort of fundamentally they alter consciousness and then not being like most drugs, being like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "obviously fun and sort of recreational." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m sure they can be fun and maybe in lower doses, but it can easily, you know, not be fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you used psychedelics to help you in your own life?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, have you used them" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe as a tool to, I don t know, help you get through a challenging time?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or has that not made sense in your life yet?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, it s made sense." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve done that on a few occasions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I think it s best to not to take psychedelics too much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And knowing the research, I know that you don t need to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it can be pretty sparing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, what does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, you know, once a year or a couple of times, um, yeah, just more like in medicine, you call it PRN." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it means like it stands for pro renata and I think it means you take the medicine when you need it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So not like a regular course, but when a symptom emerges, maybe take the medicine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s PRN." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, so yeah, I ve, I ve done that and it has been helpful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s difficult to know how would, how things would have been having not done it, but I think, you know, I didn t do a trial of myself, but I could tell you as a human in a sort of qualitative way, I think it was beneficial." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A couple of times in my life, at least." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a lot of people look at." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "psychedelics as something that is also spiritual." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your opinion on the spiritual side of psychedelics?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of people, I feel like I ve heard especially people taking DMT and feeling like they re having, you know, some sort of experience with maybe God or, or, you know, something like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think that is?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where does spirituality and psychedelics meet for you, or do you find them to be separate completely?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious your opinion on their connection." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, the connection is real and very close and important." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it s a major aspect of the classic psychedelic experience with, you know, the drugs like LSD, psilocybin, DMT, 5-methoxy DMT." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s quite dose dependent in a sense, I think, that it can produce these spiritual experiences." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There are different names people use for them, spiritual experience, mystical type experience, peak experience, which is a bit more humanistic, a little less kind of supernatural in a sense or potentially supernatural." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Unitive experience is one I like because it does get to the core of it, I think, and also mechanistically." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ll lay my cards on the table." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m not a supernaturalist." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s often the case when you re a scientist." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if ever you were or had that in you, it gets kind of beaten out of you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For better or worse." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can imagine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "course I ve got to think better, but maybe actually there can be a sadness to lose sort of magic, but then there s magic in a poetic sense." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s very real and it s very reliable and a major aspect of the experience and any attempt to try and, I don t know, scrub it out of this area is just in vain because it s really a core aspect of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, we come back to the term psychedelic, psyche revealing, psyche is soul." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, there s that side of psychology that talks about insight into yourself and your past and your traumas." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then there s another side of psychology, you know, Carl Jung, who would talk about insight into" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "what it is to be a being, you know, a human being and sort of a deeper sort of human shared inheritance in a sense that for me and for him was a spiritual place." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How we interrelate and how we relate to the rest of nature, very transcendent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think it s that transcendence that is the core of spirituality, interconnectedness and oneness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, you know, when you sort of explain it out, you realize it s not a woo-woo thing, and it s a disparaging phrase, but it s not a supernatural thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a very beautiful thing of this, you know, universe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So yeah, in a curious way, I think psychedelics could help validate spirituality." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If it needs that, many people might be challenged by that and say, it doesn t need validating." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t need to validate my religion or anything like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the cultural domain of science, you certainly do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I m not proposing we validate religion, but maybe the core of religion that is the spiritual experience, we could validate actually and explain what it is, you know, why those experiences happen." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, and then think about what the insights mean." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I can t wait to come in one day and get a little help with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a very anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious girl." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe one day you can do a study on me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been a privilege." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,826
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love oversharing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I think it s one of my love languages." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not on the official list with acts of service, words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, physical touch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not on that list, but it s on my list because the way that I connect with people is by oversharing, which is why it s shocking that I have not made an episode completely about my vagina yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How has that not happened yet?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All I do is share too much information online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How has this not happened yet?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, have no fear, because the day has come." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am going to be dedicating this entire episode to my vagina." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what sparked the idea for this episode was all of my recent challenges with my vagina." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like post-puberty, my vagina has been a problem area for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that I m not the only one, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vaginas are very complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at least for me, there almost always seems to be something going wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, it s just, it s a complicated organ." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sensitive, it s complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because not a lot of people talk about their vagina, it can be kind of scary when things go wrong with it because there aren t that many people to call." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we all know what happens when we Google our symptoms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we end up coming to a far more dramatic conclusion than we need to, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the truth is vaginas are just complicated, and there s always some sort of drama going on with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And today I m gonna tell some of my dramatic vagina stories, starting with something that happened to me today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s go back in time for a minute before we discuss what happened today, because this story actually starts five years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So five years ago, I was in the shower and I was shaving my vagina." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we all know, well, all of us who have a vagina know, how complicated it is to shave a vagina, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of nooks and crannies in there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s treacherous territory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re in a rush, you can just sort of shove the razor down there and just start going into autopilot haphazardly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And things can very easily go wrong, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a sharp razor and you have a bunch of flaps of skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that are sensitive and just whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I cut my vagina with the razor on this day five years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I cut it sort of on the inside, okay, in between the outer labia and the inner labia, in that crease there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, this is so TMI." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cut that with a razor five years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t really think much of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of hurt for a second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It bled for a second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was sort of the end of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then like a month later, the guy that I was dating at the time noticed it and was like, what the fuck is that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, oh, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I look and it s this unhealed cut from this razor, like almost like a slice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh, it s just a cut from the razor, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll heal eventually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I forget about it for probably a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I start feeling like a light, very mild, sharp pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I take a look at it one day and I realize, holy shit, that cut is still there and it s not fully healed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I start to get a little concerned." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, this is a little weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This cut has never fully healed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of makes sense because the vagina is sort of a moist environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it kind of makes sense that something wouldn t heal properly there, but a year?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just keep an eye on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t seem infected or anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tell my mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, that s really weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I decide to just sort of wait it out and see if it goes away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fast forward, literally another year later, it s still fucking there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem was I kept forgetting about it because I would go through phases where I couldn t even feel it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I d go through phases where I could feel it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I d start to feel it again, I d check up on it and be like, holy shit, it s still there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I d be like, all right, I ll just forget about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I d forget about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I wouldn t feel it for a few months, even maybe a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then eventually I m like, this thing is not going away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to go to the gynecologist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what does she say to me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She says, you just need to do a sitz bath three times a day for two weeks and it ll go away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not that girl." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A sitz bath is like a warm bath with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe she wanted to put salt in it or something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what she even wanted me to put in it, but basically like a warm, sterile bath that I sit in for like 15 minutes, three times a day to help keep the cut clean so that it could heal properly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t listen to her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then another year went by and it still never went away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ended up switching gynecologists very recently to a very, very involved" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "very serious gynecologist who s very proactive and I showed her this cut and she was like we need to cut that thing off and we need to biopsy it because that is really bad that you ve had this cut in your vagina for five fucking years what s happening we need to cut it off so it can heal properly but then we also need to test it to make sure that nothing s wrong with it" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what I had today, that surgery to get it removed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a minor surgery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t need to be put under anesthesia or anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I basically just came in today, stripped down, waist down, and she offered me laughing gas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to sort of make me a bit loopy so that I wouldn t feel anything at all, and I would be completely aloof to the whole thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I had a really bad experience with laughing gas when I was at the dentist in my childhood years, and it kind of traumatized me, so I decided against it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was at the dentist as a kid, they gave me laughing gas and I started hallucinating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I started seeing Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon running around in front of me in the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was very weird and I didn t like that feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think it s dangerous or anything, but that s sort of disturbing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "trying to hallucinate when I m already in a stressful situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I decided against it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also too anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t like feeling out of control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And laughing gas sort of makes you dissociate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already dissociate with my anxiety enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need anything that will make me dissociate more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That scares me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like feeling removed from my body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already have that feeling enough from my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please, God, I don t need anything that will make me dissociate more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I need something that will make me feel in tune with my body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, what a treat that would be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, no to the laughing gas, but I did say yes to getting the area numbed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I didn t really know what that was gonna entail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turns out it s a huge needle filled with some sort of numbing stuff, heavy duty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The irony of it is that you want to numb the area so that you don t feel the pain, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the act of getting numbed hurts so fucking bad that you wish you were numbed for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She stuck this big, thick needle in the areas around the vaginal cut, and it hurts so fucking" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fucking bad it hurts so bad i was like oh my and i have a high pain tolerance and i was losing it i was like i couldn t believe how painful it was i was like why didn t i get numbed for this i this hurts so fucking bad but i will say" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was happy I was numbed when she pulled out this medieval looking tongue scissor hybrid metal it looked like metal shears when she pulled those out and inched those closer to my vagina I was like well thank god I am so numbed up right now in my vagina that literally" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they could cut the whole thing off and I wouldn t even feel it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I refused to look down when she brought that thing close to my vagina because ultimately that was the tool that they used to cut the cut off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They basically like cut the whole cut out and then bandaged it tight so that it would just, it would reheal, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t feel them cutting the actual chunk of my vagina out at all because I was so numbed up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just seeing that tool get close to my vagina, I felt a little loopy ever since." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, there s something about a sharp metal tool going near your vagina." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that is on my list of biggest fears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so I didn t feel it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The piece of skin, the chunk of vagina that was cut out was honestly pretty small." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like the size of a pea, maybe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not super big, but I mean, the vagina is not that big, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was maybe the same size as the clitoris." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ow!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god, I think, ugh!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so that was that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re testing it right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully it s just an unhealed wound and it s not a sign of something else going wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m just trying not to worry about it and that s that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was today s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "vaginal drama, but there s been more recently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "About a month and a half ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, which if you don t know what that is, oh no, it s polycystic ovary syndrome, not ovarian." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, excuse me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "PCOS is a condition in which the ovaries produce an abnormal amount of androgens, male sex hormones, that are usually present in women in small amounts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The name polycystic ovary syndrome describes the numerous small cysts, fluid-filled sacs, that form in the ovaries." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, some women with this disorder do not have cysts, while some women with the disorder do develop cysts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I was diagnosed with that about a month ago, and..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found out it s the reason that for many years I ve had irregular periods, cystic acne, anxiety, depression, and a slew of other issues." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could also possibly impact my fertility, which is upsetting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s definitely a bummer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s common." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know a lot of girls with PCOS and I think I have a milder" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "version of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have the cysts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have all of the symptoms of PCOS, but alas, I have it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this was a little bit less frightening for me because my mom also has PCOS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She also has endometriosis, which apparently I might also have, but I haven t been fully tested for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom has PCOS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s managed it throughout her life pretty well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was able to get pregnant with me pretty easily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that gives me hope in a way that hopefully I will be fertile as an adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I am an adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully I ll be fertile when I m ready to have children in what, six years, six to eight years probably." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, there s a lot of things that the doctor recommends when it comes to PCOS, specific ways to eat that support PCOS, certain ways to exercise that support PCOS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But she also put me on a medication that will help with my hormones to hopefully keep the PCOS in a better state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you can t heal PCOS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no cure for it, but you can manage the symptoms and manage your hormones so that it doesn t impact your life as much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So she put me on this medication." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not going to share what medication it is just because I think everybody s on their own journey and I think it s best to speak to your doctor instead of hear what somebody else is on and be like, oh, I want to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think that s a slippery slope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s necessary, but I did get put on this medication and I m" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "very afraid of medication, just because with medication there s side effects." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times the medication is worth it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s worth the risk of the side effects to heal the larger issue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some of the side effects of the medication that I was put on are stomach issues, fast or shallow breathing, fever, chills." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "muscle pain and cramping, sleepiness, decreased appetite, nausea, B12 deficiency, which I m already at risk for that because I m a vegetarian so I don t get enough B12." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to be careful with drinking on this medication." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can have diarrhea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make your anxiety worse sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make your depression worse sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of potential negative side effects." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I read this list to you and you might be thinking, Emma, those are like the side effects for all medications." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all medications come with" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "similar sort of risks of basically feeling sick, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have been so fortunate in my life thus far that I ve not had to take many medications." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I went into having to take this medication like a little princess, like, oh my God, what if something goes wrong?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for the past month, I ve been in this constant state of fear that something will go wrong as a result of me taking" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this medication." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s ironic about it is that I ve gotten panic attacks about being on this medication." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the panic attacks can mimic the symptoms of the medication reacting badly with my system." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I have a panic attack, I can feel dizzy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can feel nauseous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can hyperventilate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shake, I can feel like I m going to pass out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, all these things can happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ve just been a fucking wreck adjusting to being on a medication every single day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve actually been really lucky and I ve had pretty much no side effects." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how it s helping my hormones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t exactly feel that, but hopefully it is helping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My gynecologist did say that once it really kicks in, it ll help with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll help with my acne because my acne is very hormonal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll help with getting back to a regular period schedule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could make my periods a bit less painful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things are really looking up for me, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in lieu of that," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the ways that my health anxiety comes out is through constantly thinking that I m pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now in my defense, in my defense, I do have irregular periods as a result of my PCOS." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll go six weeks with no period and then suddenly I ll get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll go two months without a period sometimes and then I ll get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll get my period twice in a month sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My period s all over the place." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t have the predictability of being like, oh, my period s here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I know I m not pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no way of knowing unless I actually take a pregnancy test because I m not relying on my cycle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a reliable cycle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason why it s a little bit irrational that I think that I m pregnant like once every two months is because I have an IUD." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what an IUD is, it is a T-shaped plastic frame that s inserted into the uterus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Copper wire coils around the device and produces an inflammatory reaction that is toxic to sperm and eggs, preventing pregnancy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have the Copper IUD." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had it since I was 17." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s worked for me every time, but it s not 100% guaranteed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No birth control is 100% guaranteed, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even though I have that, and even though it s worked every time, I still constantly think I m fucking pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it seems that I always come to the conclusion that I m pregnant at the least convenient times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my brain does it on purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, one time I was doing a red carpet event, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was fully in a gown and I had this epiphany." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve not had a period in like two months." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where the fuck is my period?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was really bloated that day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I looked pregnant actually a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My lower abdomen was so distended and it was not because of food, it was because of hormones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hold on a fucking minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t had my period in two months and my lower abdomen is so distended that if I m not pregnant, what the fuck is going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not a poop in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I pooped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a baby." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s Tommy Chamberlain in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fucking Paula Chamberlain in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I started freaking out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mind you, I m like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fully glammed up, I have my hair done, I have my makeup done, I m in a gown about to go to this red carpet event and I m like, oh my God, I need a pregnancy test for when I get back from this event because I am convinced that I am pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It all came together in my brain at possibly the worst fucking time ever when there s no possible way for me to take a pregnancy test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in, oh, I forgot to mention this, I m in France." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t even know where to go to get a pregnancy test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also the evening time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who knows if there s a store even open with a pregnancy test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in a gown." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t lift up the gown and pee on a pregnancy test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m already locked into this gown and I have to leave." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the worst fucking time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, someone on my team did actually give me a pregnancy test, which was so nice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was negative." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, that was probably the worst time I ve ever come to the conclusion that I ve been pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It also often happens to me late at night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t fall asleep, two in the morning, I m tossing and turning, all of a sudden, oh, wait a minute, I m probably fucking pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, I m probably pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t tell you how many times that s happened to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve opened my medicine cabinet to see if I have a pregnancy test and I don t have one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I open a delivery app to see if there s a store open who has a pregnancy test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn t, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next thing I know, I m up until four in the morning because I m so afraid that I m pregnant because I hadn t had a period in six weeks, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I end up taking it, negative again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But every single time I take a pregnancy test, I m convinced that that will be the time that it s positive, I am pregnant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every single time I have an entire existential crisis, because it s not until you re afraid that you re pregnant that you think of the weight that it bears." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fucking heavy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because every year that I get older, I m like, oh, what would I do if I got pregnant?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what would I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wait for the results, shaking, sweating, pacing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the room, and every single time it comes out negative, I feel as though I ve won a sweepstakes or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like, holy shit," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m going on a free trip to the Bahamas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m getting a free cooking class from Gordon Ramsay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I ve won something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like life has blessed me with a treat every single time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The feeling never gets old of not being pregnant, I ll tell you that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m constantly afraid of being pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know, it s interesting because now that I ve been diagnosed with PCOS and it was brought to my attention that I might not be the most fertile." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "woman there ever was because that can impact your fertility." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s made me ponder even harder what I would do if I accidentally got pregnant because my likelihood of getting pregnant might end up being low when I m ready to start trying to have kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, oh my God, well then what would I do if I accidentally got pregnant now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god, the whole thing is... It s definitely heavy, but anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nowadays, I always have a pregnancy test around so that the spiral doesn t last too long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because... Yeah, it s brutal otherwise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I mentioned my birth control, the copper IUD." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you a little bit about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I got that when I was 17." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in my first relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had just lost my virginity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, okay, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s fucking do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went to the gynecologist and they were like, okay," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the deal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hormonal birth control might not be right for you because you get migraines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Migraines run in my family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do get migraines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually had one last night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I woke up at three in the morning with a migraine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very angry about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Migraines are horrible and I avoid them at all costs because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they re completely debilitating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the gynecologist was basically like, hormonal birth control can make your migraines worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So weigh the pros and cons of that, but it probably isn t a good idea and you should probably do something non-hormonal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really the only option is the copper IUD." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I explained it earlier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the T-shaped plastic frame that s inserted into the uterus and there s copper wire coiled around it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It basically kills the sperm in the egg and it prevents pregnancy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t really know what to expect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in fact, I wasn t really afraid because I was like, oh, they re just going to plop something in my vagina, like just push it in there and I ll go on my merry way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it can t be too big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not gonna lie." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not all sunshine and rainbows like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I showed up early in the morning, popped my legs open." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 17 years old at the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything being in my vagina at that age was a little bit frightening for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I barely just lost my virginity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was still foreign to have things near and in my vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was still sort of a disturbing experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when they stuck this metal tube-like thing in my vagina to prop it open," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already knew I wasn t going to like this experience because there s something really upsetting about having like metal tools in your vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the vagina is such a sensitive area that there s something very icky about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it started with that and then inserting the IUD was just like a little pinch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t really that bad actually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It got really bad after the procedure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the following two days, I had the worst cramping I have ever experienced in my fucking life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve broken bones." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have had really severe migraines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I ve experienced some pretty bad physical pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was on a whole nother level, but it did only last two days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the cramping sort of went away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The cramping would then come back every time I d get a period and the cramping would be so... No, let me relax actually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t as bad as when I initially got inserted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was beside myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t even know what the fuck to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there was nothing I could do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was taking Advil." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was taking Tylenol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was taking everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like just trying to..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "find something that would make it better and nothing would make it better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like being in a torture chamber in my own body for two days straight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was pretty horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The cramping with the periods following getting the IUD, let s say 30% of that pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So still very painful, but not nearly as painful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The cramping was a bummer, but what really was crazy was the bleeding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to have pretty light periods, like medium flow, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing too crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After getting the Copper IUD, I was gushing, gushing, gushing blood, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would fill up the largest, most absorbent tampon in like 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was having to switch my tampon every 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It got to a point where I had to wear period diapers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, they sell those." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a diaper with a built-in maxi pad in it, like a super absorbent maxi pad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Started buying those." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because the amount of blood, I couldn t manage the amount of blood coming out of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like a huge social issue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I almost couldn t leave the house when I was on my period for the first six to eight months after getting the IUD because it was, the blood was so, it was so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say I would take my tampon out and get in the shower, blood everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would get out of the shower to go get a new tampon, blood all over the floor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hot take though, okay, hot take." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a challenge for a while after getting the IUD." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Crampy periods, super heavy, blood flow, sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the joy I felt from being able to just have sex and not worry about getting pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In relationships, not have to wear a condom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s tested, we all know we re good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t need to wear a condom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, you should still wear one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone says, I m so sorry, I m not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God bless all of you wearing a condom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I don t have to, I m not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You all know me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a boyfriend girl." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m always in something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless they re cheating on me, which I wouldn t know anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re only having sex with each other, great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we re all safe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Emma s IUD really gets to have its moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a fucking treat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a treat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s worth it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, like all this pain, all this torture for this fucking birth control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s worth it for me because I like the freedom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the, no, I don t just like the freedom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the freedom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have no regrets about my copper IUD, even though it was horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have had a few scares though with it like where I ve thought that it s moved like actually kind of recently within the last few months I had to go to the doctor because I thought it got moved because I randomly like started bleeding and I wasn t on my period and I felt like something was sore inside like I was like I feel like this shit moved I don t know I couldn t know for sure because I can t see in there but I was like something feels off like there s something kind of cramping in there" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I m bleeding for no reason, and it s not my period, so I feel like it moved." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, it actually didn t, and I don t know what that was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll never know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was afraid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine, okay, so then imagine me already being afraid that I m pregnant all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine my fear when I think, wait a minute, is my IUD in the right place?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it might ve gotten moved." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine how pregnant I thought I was that week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The drama never ends with the vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s never ending." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god, I also recently thought I had toxic shock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because toxic shock is very rare, but it s still something to consider." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Toxic shock syndrome is a rare, life-threatening complication of certain bacterial infections." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Risk factors include recent surgery, open wounds, and the use of super absorbent tampons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A high fever, low blood sugar, vomiting, and rash are some symptoms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Treatment includes antibiotics and possibly surgery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be very serious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it can kill you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s basically if" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this toxic bacteria sort of gets into your bloodstream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And according to self.com, expert analysis says the more absorbent the tampon, the more bacteria it can hold on to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That paired with a tiny tear from something like pulling out a dry tampon before it s saturated with blood can introduce the bacteria into the body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so that s sort of a rundown on toxic shock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is very rare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s best to just use tampons as they re instructed, use pads as they re instructed, change them out frequently as needed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re doing the best that you can and using these things responsibly, it s the best you can do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought that I started my period one time in a heavy way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I put in a really absorbent tampon because I was not" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "going to be home all day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going to be out and about working and I was like, I can t be bleeding through my pants when I m working today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in a business setting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be professional." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to be" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a happy camper if I m bleeding through my dress pants today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just not the right vibe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I put in a super absorbent tampon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally a half an hour later, I go pee and it half pops out and I tear it out because I couldn t push it back in properly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wouldn t go back in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, fuck it, I ll just take it out and put in a new one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I took it out, it ripped and there was a piece of tampon in my vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not very big, but big enough where I was like, oh my God, if I don t get this out, it could possibly harbor bad bacteria and give me toxic shock." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I stuck my fucking finger up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to get it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "unsure if I was able to get it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For days following that, I douched my vagina every single day, just hoping that I could get it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it was even still in there, I didn t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so nervous about having toxic shock from having a little piece of tampon in my vagina that I gave myself a panic attack, which made me feel dizzy, which made me feel lightheaded, which made me feel feverish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I convinced myself, okay, wait, I do have toxic shock because I have all these symptoms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s what s so fucking sneaky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you are an anxious person and you get panic attacks, you ll convince yourself that something s really wrong when it s really just you having a panic attack and the symptoms are so similar that you just can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "distinguish one from the other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s absolutely horrific." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I ended up not having toxic shock." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I did do was give myself bacterial vaginosis in my vagina from douching it too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I douched my vagina so much trying to clean it out, hoping that I would get that rogue piece of tampon out of my vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I did it so much that I fucked with the pH of my vagina and ultimately gave myself bacterial vaginosis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bacterial vaginosis is a condition caused by too much of a certain bacteria in the vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bacterial vaginosis happens when bacteria usually found in the vagina grow too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This growth upsets the balance of good and bad bacteria in the vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bacterial vaginosis tends to occur during childbearing years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People with bacterial vaginosis often have no symptoms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Symptoms might include thin gray, white, or green fluid coming from the vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other symptoms may include a foul, fishy smell from the vagina, an itchy vagina, or burning while urinating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Treatment can include prescription cream or gel that goes into the vagina or medicines taken by mouth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last but not least, speaking of bacterial vaginosis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about yeast infections because from ages like 17 to 19, I could not figure out why I kept getting yeast infections and yet I was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, a lot of you might be thinking, Emma, it s because you re a stinky girl and you don t shower and you have bad hygiene." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had phenomenal hygiene at the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The worst thing that I would do is maybe wait an hour or two after, okay, maybe three hours sometimes after working out to shower." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was the worst thing I would do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not necessarily a crime, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a little gross, but I would, you know, go and do a workout class, and then I d go get a coffee with friends, and then we d like talk in the car for a little while, and then I d go home and I d shower." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think that that was the reason why I was getting yeast infections?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that the biggest hygienic crime you ve ever heard of?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You probably do it all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what s weird?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not fully convinced it was that, and I actually think it might have been coming from a man." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ll never know for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, basically, yeast infections get a bad rap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are like, ew, it s like a fishy cottage cheese." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s actually not fishy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the misconception about a yeast infection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t smell like anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s bacterial vaginosis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a different thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what reeks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeast infection is different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vaginal itching, red and inflamed vulva, thick white discharge with chunky texture, burning sensation when peeing and during sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was battling yeast infections for fucking years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so annoying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I worked so hard to get rid of them, and I could never really figure out what it was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in retrospect, it was not showering immediately after." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "working out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, I do that sometimes now, and I haven t had a yeast infection in years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually think it might have been coming from a guy I was talking to at the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that is another thing that is not discussed enough about yeast infections." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can come from a dude." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be spread to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, because it s like there s kind of a correlation there that s hard to ignore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, maybe it wasn t related, but that was just horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The worst part about it is that I was constantly itchy and I was like walking around 24 hours a day with an itchy coochie like it was just and I I would take supplements." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would put these like pills up my vagina that were supposed to help with like I did everything and nothing worked but I also used to be a lot worse about managing things like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If my mom would be like, honey, you need to take this supplement or you need to try this ointment or you need to do this or you need to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d be like, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d do it for one week and then I would stop doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I would convince myself that because I did it for that one week, that that was enough and that it should have worked and that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the solution must be elsewhere because I tried it for a week like it should have worked when in reality it needed to be an ongoing treatment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So some of it might have been juvenile neglect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You give a kid a supplement and watch that sit in the cupboard for years to follow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like kids are like, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just recently became a responsible human being when it came to tending to various" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bodily needs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I m supposed to take B12 and vitamin D3, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the supplements that I m supposed to take." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve neglected to take them ever since the doctor told me I should be taking them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A week here, a week there, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But recently, I ve gotten really good about taking those supplements." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just such a bitch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what really helped me, though, is that now I actually have to take a medication every day, and I have to take it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every day at the same time, and now that I m in a routine, it s easy to throw other supplements in there and just do a big gulp of pills twice a day, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this just proves to me that it s so much better to address an issue the second it arises." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wish I would have handled my vaginal cut when it first happened instead of waiting years to address it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, how much stress and anxiety would we avoid if we just handled these things the moment that they happened?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s easy to turn a blind eye when it s not a violent issue that s begging for your attention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it does cause an underlying anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel a weird relief today knowing that my vagina thing is being handled." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so those are all my vagina stories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully you found some sort of comfort in them because we can feel very alone when it comes to our genitals, our hormones, et cetera, because it s maybe not the most discussed topic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times we keep these things to ourselves, understandably so, you know, it s sort of private, but it is nice to know like these things happen to other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have had so much anxiety about my vagina cut" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I asked my mom about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, have you ever heard of anything like this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she was telling me about a family member who had something sort of similar and was totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That made me feel so much better, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t have a family member who also had a cut in their vagina that never healed, and maybe you have a cut in your vagina, let me be your friend in that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me bring you some peace because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shit like that can be very anxiety-inducing, and it s normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being human is constantly taking care of your body and keeping things under control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we all got some shit, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, hopefully you didn t feel too violated by me talking about my vagina." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get over it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just a coochie, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s no big deal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t have one, you ve probably at least seen one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So fucking relax." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You came out of one, probably, unless your mom had a C-section." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, go ahead and relax." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, let me know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can send me a message on Instagram at anythinggoes or my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go ahead and follow those Instagrams at anythinggoes at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes every" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are probably in a store near you if you live in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Albertsons, Pavilions, Walmart, Target, Whole Foods." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a store locator on ChamberlainCoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can also order Chamberlain Coffee on ChamberlainCoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have phenomenal coffee, matcha, accessories, all created by me and dreamed up by me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and I appreciate you all and thank you for hanging out and I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,827
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so honored to be bringing this guest to you today, because I am such a big fan of everything that this man does." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, yeah, I have butterflies in my stomach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t make a big deal out of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, sure, maybe I have a little bit of butterflies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, this is a big deal for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today we have Rainn Wilson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m just so excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am just so excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know who Rainn Wilson is, but just in case you don t, Rainn Wilson is an Emmy-nominated actor, producer, and writer, best known for his role as Dwight Schrute in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "version of The Office." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, as we all are, am a huge fan of The Office." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like everybody has their favorite comfy show, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would say for 90% of America, it s The Office." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a part of that 90%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember watching it during class in high school, and I ve been watching it ever since." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rain does a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rain is a busy guy, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s co-founder of the media company SoulPancake, which specializes in the human experience and creating positive social change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He also is a podcaster." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His podcast is called Metaphysical Milkshake." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the podcast, he sets out to answer life s biggest questions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But wait, there s more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coming in April, he has another podcast coming out called Soul Boom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s all about spirituality because Rain is a very spiritual guy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He hosts a TV series called The Geography of Bliss, where he explores the happiest communities in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could list all of the incredible things that he does all day, but I ll finish it off with his book, Soul Boom, Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a book basically about how spirituality" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "could help heal the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also available as an audiobook on Spotify if you want to go listen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like Rain and I have a lot in common on a personal level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know him personally, though, so it s like, why am I saying that I think we have a lot in common?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I ve seen him talk a lot about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anxiety, spirituality, two things that are very relevant in my personal life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re relevant in a lot of our lives, but I m very anxious, and because of that, I ve become very spiritual to try to cope with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s bring in Rainn Wilson, the iconic, the incredible, the genius Rainn Wilson." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here he is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to set the foundation here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who were you as a child?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was your vibe as a child?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s funny, and usually I pay my therapist, you know, quite a lot, but we re jumping right in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here we re going, going right to the childhood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, how deep you wanna go?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you wanna do like medium deep?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I will go as deep as you wanna go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can go the deepest, I can handle it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can go deeper than you, that s what she said, and that s not what I m, that s not what we re talking about here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s not today s topic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We wanna go, okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we can go real deep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, as a child child, I m a year and a half, two years old, and my mom and my dad split up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom takes off and I go with my dad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what does my dad do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He packed up me and moved to Nicaragua." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Drink that in America." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Emma Chamberlain, is that your name?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s your name, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fan base." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eat that up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Eat it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Digest that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here I am, I m like a big, ungainly toddler with a giant head and a pasty torso, tottering around literally the jungles of Nicaragua, where I spoke, as a child, I spoke fluent Spanish," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and I was running around on the muddy, jungly, monkey-strewn streets of Bluefields, Nicaragua." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": null, "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For reals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For reals?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For how long were you there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "About two year, two and a half years or so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I was five, five and a half, we moved back to the Pacific Northwest and I started kindergarten in Olympia, Washington." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my dad had gotten remarried when we were down in Nicaragua to my stepmom," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it was a weird, it was already a weird childhood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unsettling because you don t, you got ripped out of what you were comfortable with, got taken to a completely new environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you re back in the old environment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s a lot for the nervous system, I can imagine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the mom leaves and then there s a new mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re also in a jungle, by the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re also like preternaturally nerdy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then I m back in Olympia, Washington as this," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "nerdy kid who doesn t even know, like, I didn t, I wasn t very well socialized." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like I was raised by, like, capuchin white-faced monkeys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I didn t know, like, the social rules of being a human being in suburbia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then we were also very poor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, when you say poor, there s a spectrum, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had meals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had a car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a used Edsel, which is like this weird car." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got my clothes at Salvation Army." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, we were in like a 900 square foot house in Olympia." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think my dad was making like, I m not kidding you, I think he was making like $9,000 a year or something like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s a little backdrop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we get into the super nerd stuff come like junior high, high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you consider yourself a nerd." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were a nerd." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bro." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bro." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s get real about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get real about the nerd." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always read these articles and you re like, Charlize Theron was like, I was so nerdy in high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, fuck you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You, come on, give me a break." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you play D&D every weekend?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you on the chess team?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you on the chess team, Charlize?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you on Model United Nations?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you play the bassoon?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, no, no, and no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are calling themselves nerds because they wore glasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they actually didn t even need them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or they read Harry Potter books." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, no, watched a movie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s be honest, watched the movie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Read half the book and then watched the movie when it came out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you were like full nerd." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Full on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you feel like... Pimples." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had that too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t a full nerd." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had bacne." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You had bacne?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know women could get bacne." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, can they?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Full bacne." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to pop it in class and reach back and pop it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just like into my shirt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was disgusting, which would only make it worse, of course, because now pimple juice is rubbing over all the pores." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making more pimples." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s horrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So were you like, were you happy kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here s the deal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was, um, I did my best." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t suicidal and, uh, depressed every day was an adventure and you know, but, but, but on top of this and you know, it s important to note too, like when my dad and step mom got married down in Nicaragua," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was writing, I wrote a book about my life called The Bassoon King, that s a comedic memoir." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I asked them, I was like, when did you, because they got a divorce the second I went away to college." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like literally went to college in September, in October they told me they were getting a divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, when did you know that marrying the other was a mistake?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And both of them said within six months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m three, three and a half, they get married, they knew, and then they stayed together till I was 18, 18 and a half." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So 15 years of a really unhappy marriage, but they, I don t know, they stayed together for religious reasons or to raise me thinking that it would help me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember being a kid, being 11, 12 years old, kind of in my head going, God, I wish they d get a divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "totally because they would have been I m really not a fan of divorce who is but at the same time like don t do it for the kids because because you pick up on this the energy lovelessness vibe that s going around in the household and it it was this colossal mind fuck because I on a number of different levels like because we seem to be" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a quirky, albeit quirky family, but kind of a normal family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we would sit and we would watch MASH on TV and we would have meatloaf, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for dinner, and we would walk the dog, and we had a little garden in the backyard, so it seemed kind of normal-ish, but there was just this disconnection, like they never hugged, or they didn t laugh together, and loved together, and so there s this like, then it makes me feel even more like an alien." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like it impacted your" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "beliefs on love as a young adult, like when you started, let s say, dating for the first time, because my parents are divorced and they have actually a great friendship, which is amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, that s great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m very fortunate in that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I constantly am checking in on myself, like, how did that impact" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, the way that I romantically love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, and it s, I don t quite know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I have my hypotheses, but I m not certain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you certain on how it impacted you, or are you kind of unsure?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe it didn t impact you at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, there was definitely an impact there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I will say this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my dad, before he passed away, was on his fourth wife." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom, my natural mom is, I think it s husband five." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my stepmom also got remarried." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there was just a lot of like, psh, psh, psh, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my father died, I had three moms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had my birth mother, my stepmom who raised me, and then my dad s widow, who I m also very close to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m close to all of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Rain had three mommies is kind of the motto." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my wife and I have been together for 32 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ve had some struggles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve had a lot of ups and downs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to paint any kind of picture like it s, oh, it s just been this super rosy thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think there was a response to all of that chaos in the home to try my best, fitfully and not with great success, to have a solid relationship to build on and a family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in that sense, I m grateful for that because we have a great marriage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I m really happy to be with her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tomorrow s her birthday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Happy birthday, wifey!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there some swag I can give her here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh yeah, we ll give you so much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I have this lamp?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have the lamp." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But at least put my name on the tag when you give it to her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, yeah, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it s totally cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll send her something myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, so, yeah, I made lots of mistakes dating and whatnot, but I guess" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe just really wanting some kind of like long-term commitment, like have a long-term relationship and you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it could go one of two ways, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like some people probably, you know, maybe have a turbulent love that they re watching as they re like... If you become accustomed to anxiety and chaos as a child, then you d seek out anxiety and chaos in your relationships as an adult, because that feels normal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and I know lots of people that had chaos and anxiety, even depression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as a kid in their home life, and then when a stable, calm, peaceful, and meaningful relationship is presented to them, they re like, eh, not feeling it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they date the person that s gonna give them all of that fireworks that they were used to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it is kind of a blessing to crave the stable option as a response to the experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s go back to you in high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What were you interested in?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What were your hobbies?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What were your favorite subjects in school?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you love?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I had two phases to my high school life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I will say that junior year and the first two years of high school, I was in suburban Seattle, and that s when I was in super nerd mode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Super nerd mode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, played the bassoon in orchestra." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I played the xylophone in marching band." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Niche instruments only for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only niche instruments, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of that saxophone crap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, ew, cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we had a marching band." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were the Highlanders, so we wore Scottish kilts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was in a xylophone in a kilt walking down the street." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something very Seattle about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it is very Seattle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you ever see that show Freaks and Geeks?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Classic show from the early 2000s?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Somebody showed me one episode of it and I never saw it anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so my life and I love that show." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, Model United Nations, chess team, computer club, debate club." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just, I love the nerdy pursuits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I frantically read science fiction novels, and I ve kept most of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were stored in my parents basement in boxes, so I have them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my house, I have hundreds of 1970s, like, crazy with, like, space girls with laser guns and big boobs on the cover and, you know, people fighting saber-toothed tigers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my dad wrote science fiction books on the side of whatever else he was doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all through my childhood, he was, like, feverishly writing science fiction books." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s an artist, it sounds like, an artist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He can t avoid it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was a painter and a science fiction book writer, but he had to provide for the family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he worked at a sewer construction company." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was this weird combination of like super blue collar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I lived in a blue collar neighborhood and my friend s dads were." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "insurance salesmen and fishermen and loggers and plumbers, but then they had this weird artsy thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then to top it all off, my parents, I grew up a member of the Baha i faith, so that was a weird thing too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then your religion doesn t even match what everyone else is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone else is Protestants, and so we were Baha is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I felt very alienated on a number of different levels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like some kids grow up around a religion, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it isn t really theirs, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like they don t really adopt it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t become a part of their personal life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe it is a part of their family life, but it s not a part of their personal life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you religious?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went all in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were all in?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was all in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me a little bit about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, I m not familiar with the Baha i faith." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So please enlighten me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so super nutshell version, Baha is believe that there s only one God and that all the religions of the world are essentially one religion, because they re all different chapters in a book, but they re all coming from the same source, which is God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Buddhism and the Buddha are divine, Christianity" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jesus are divine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds incredibly inclusive and positive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very inclusive, positive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Muhammad and the Koran are divine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we, as a Baha i, we grew up reading all these different holy books and Baha is want" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "love and unity and harmony and all of that stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s, you know, a lot of that kind of work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was great growing up in the seventies as a Baha i because it was also, you know, it was very diverse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it wasn t, Baha is are very much about elimination of racial prejudice and racial differences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to Baha i gatherings, it was black Baha is, white Baha is, Hispanic Baha is, indigenous Baha is, all singing and kumbaya." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like- That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it was very kumbaya." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went all in on that and it brought me a lot, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We would go to these retreats, like summer school, winter school, and I d see other nerdy Baha i kids and we d be like, yay, we re Baha is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "would always be the only Baha i at our school and be able to bond about that and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I left the Baha i faith and all religion hardcore for at least 13, 14 years as an adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a whole other chapter, but that was my nerd chapter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so you were, I mean, but it sounds like, did you have friends?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You had like- I had some friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a little posse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you like, I have a big group, or were you like, I have one best friend?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like my vibe was always one best friend at a time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would like pop around in a group, but I would always have one- Who was your best friend?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve had many." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so it was like a revolving door of best friends?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Kind of, which sounds toxic, and it probably is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do a lot of them, now that you re like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "big cheese and whatever it is that you do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They probably think it s so bizarre." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think for like the Seattle contingent, I think they re like, what the, that guy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The bassoon playing guy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, they think that about me too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s the celebrity?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that weird guy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the hell is going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have another huge fan and they don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, but you were like, were you outgoing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, I was very shy and self-conscious and very low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you funny?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There you go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had the funny would come out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I learned rapidly like, you know, like even bullies would be like, kind of like, hey, rain, rain, go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey asshole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like ready to like, like kind of mix it up or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like rain, rain, go away is not nearly mean enough for a bully." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They need that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s level one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, Emma, stop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re taking away from my," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s like, that s, hey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got it almost every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were a little scared of you, I think, that they weren t going that hard because they were like, we re a little scared of him." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It got a little harder here and there, but you re right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was, but it was a gentler time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it was the 70s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was going to say, like, I think it, I think it was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, do you think it was?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes and no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that the bullying wasn t as toxic, but it was more pervasive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just, it just happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone got teased." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone got bullied." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone got pushed around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone scrapped." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were supposed to just tolerate bullying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was just like, you know, I would complain like they re picking on me and my parents would be like, and teachers would be like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s how the world is, so get used to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Learn how to survive with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there wasn t any parent-teacher conferences of like, so, Ricky, you ve been bullying Rain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we work this out?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the teachers going, okay, you two." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then they re like, pulling him apart and like, get back to class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, everybody, nothing to see here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like being bullied" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like it helped you develop your humor?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of comedy comes out of pain and a lot of comedy comes out of as a kind of a coping mechanism." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Arthur Brooks actually talks about that in his book." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should get him on on the show." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He just wrote this book with Oprah about" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I forget what it s called, how to be happy or something like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he talked about emotional caffeine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So his concept, I m taking no credit for this, is that caffeine isn t actually a stimulant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It actually blocks the kind of the... The sleepy... The endorphin and sleepy endorphins that are in your brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do we do to block that in other ways?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sadness can be blocked with humor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you are telling a joke or goofing off or making someone laugh or laughing yourself, it is literally impossible to be sad at the same time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stop and then be sad, but while you re doing it," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t be sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think that was a big survival mechanism for me and my friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We would watch early, early Saturday Night Live in the late 70s, early 80s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We would do those sketches." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We would watch Monty Python and do those sketches and just make each other laugh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was a way to get by." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was subversive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like the nerds were funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The popular kids weren t funny because they didn t need to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they were just getting all this love and attention, so why would they be funny?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s the kids in the cracks that end up being funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When did you start thinking, I could use my humor for my job?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go to junior year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We move to a high school outside of Chicago that has an incredible theater program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here we go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sign up for my very first acting class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s not true, I took one in Seattle but it was terrible and we just made puppets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I sign up for this acting class, the first exercise, I m this new kid at school, the first exercise is called Private and Public." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do you act normally in your room and allow people to just see and to just witness your private life?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was really into music, I loved like crazy, I liked punk and new wave and alternative type of music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I brought in my record player and this Elvis Costello album, and I was just in my room, and then I put on this song called Mystery Dance by Elvis Costello that s this rock, and then I just started dancing just like crazy, like, you know, like I would in my room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the crowd went crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They went wild in the acting class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in this new school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were all these very cute girls that all of a sudden came up and were like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my gosh, you re so funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, what s your name?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Welcome to our school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to sit with us at our lunch table?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was just like, like the angels sang." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "no more chess team, no more bassoon, no more model United Nations, I m going in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went all in on the drama nerd at that point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whoa, okay, love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was the beginning, and there s a lot more to the story, but then did drama in high school, went to one college, did a bunch of plays, went to another college, did a bunch of plays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Realized that I kinda needed training as an actor, so I auditioned for and got into NYU, moved to NYU, and went to acting school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and went all in on that in my early 20s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s get into acting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When did acting become your job?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s all I wanted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my dad, like I said, he wrote these science fiction novels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s published one of them and he painted paintings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He never" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sold any of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So other than the one published science fiction book, I had never met a single person that got paid to be an artist in my whole life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never met someone who got money to write a poem or do a dance or, you know, be an actor or sing a song or anything like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was not in my worldview, mostly in suburban Seattle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I decided and I went all in on trying to be an actor," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I wanna get paid for this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was my whole drive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t have a trust fund." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to make my own rent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to make my own way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went to this really good acting training program." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That had its ups and downs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Got out and then I started doing little theater things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was mostly training for the theater and thinking I was gonna work in the theater in New York." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I had a ton of shitty jobs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "driving a moving van." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My wife and I had a dog walking service." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t last long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You lost a dog, didn t you?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lost a dog in Central Park, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re still looking for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was called Tales of New York." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s cute, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "T-A-I-L-S, get it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had a great poster." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bring it back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bring it back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Family biz, family business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so I went all in, and then it was, I wanted it to be my job, but I really wanted to, I thought I was gonna be in the theater, and then I did this tour." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know the actor Jeffrey Wright?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was on this tour with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were friends back in the day, worked together back in the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I finished this whole tour," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of it, we were getting our mail, and I got my bank statement, and I had $1,200 in the bank." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had worked for nine months, and I was like, oh, fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then Jeffrey was there, and Jeffrey was opening his mail, and then I ll never forget it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, yeah, oh my god, woo, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "he d gotten a residual check, because he had done three days on a Harrison Ford movie, and he had a check for $3,500." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like, wow, this is awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my head, right then and there, I was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "okay, I m in the wrong business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m ever gonna buy a house, if I m ever gonna pay off my student loans, I gotta get into film and TV." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was a long road, dude." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did nothing but theater for nine or 10 years in New York before I did any TV or film." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really, a few years in, just kind of focused on like, I need to try and get some film and TV work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you prefer" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "theater or film and TV?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think is more fulfilling?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I really, and this sounds like a cop-out, but I really like all of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you why." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They all have very different demands." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like saying to a musician, like, do you like playing on an album?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like playing live?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you like writing songs with songwriters, you know, around a campfire?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all different expressions of music, and a good musician is gonna love all of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, theater, you know, you re up in front of an audience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s 90 minutes to two hours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are telling the story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are driving the story just with your acting chops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no cuts, there s no music, there s no visual effects." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just you and an audience, and the actor is king in that sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A film is really intense and really short." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go on a film, you re gonna be on it from two weeks to six months, and it s a really compact time of your life, and you re figuring out the arc of the character, and you shoot it maybe crazy out of order." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many times I ve done a movie, and you re shooting the last scene on the first day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ve gotta really track, so it s about that intensity, and it s really in the director s hands." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then on a TV show," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "know, like the office, like other ones that I ve done, like that the TV show is the domain of the writer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re the ones building the one year arc, the five year arc, the nine year arc of the show, season to season, the arc where the characters are going to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, it s a" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "great, steady job and amazing paycheck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s comforting to go in and get to play Dwight for 12 hours a day for nine years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s another family and that s a whole different experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds like you love the art of acting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I don t think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not go into it for fame or money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, I was on Bill Maher s podcast tonight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was like, well, you got into it for the fame." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, no, I didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, come on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, no, I love the craft of acting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love the craft of storytelling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love to transform into characters that are different than myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve always just loved that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did I want to pay the bills?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did I want to ultimately buy a house?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I didn t go into it to become the wildly successful" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "talent that you see before you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like being famous?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll be really honest with you, please." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mostly yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, because of the doors that it opens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I went into this incredible restaurant with my managers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had a dinner and then, um," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then they recognize me and they re like, blah, blah, blah, here s our number and you can come in anytime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then my wife s birthday, in fact, last night, we went and I got to use that and get a nice table and they gave us some free scallops and I was like, this is awesome, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve gotten invited to tennis tournaments and trips to places and you get a lot of perks from it that for a nerdy kid from Seattle, I m like, I ll take it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m super grateful for Dwight" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it can be tough to just be known mostly for one character." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve played dozens and dozens of characters in my career." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m mostly known for one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that can be tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it can be tough socially in a lot of ways, like just how you re treated and let s get, you wanna get deep?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here we go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love getting deep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When they asked young people, not long ago, what was their number one goal?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did they want money?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did they want sex?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "did they want, happiness did they want, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By far and away, the thing they wanted the most was fame, because fame gives you all that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Theoretically, fame gives you money, it gives you sex, it gives you status, it gives you supposedly happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "doesn t give you happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you have a hole in you, fame is not gonna fill that hole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, it s gonna take you away from your happiness because then you have not done the work to build up your internal sense of self where it s like, I love myself, I wanna be with myself, I have a vision of what my life is and I m content in that and I have" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "mission and purpose and vibrancy and then fame just" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it just breeds more fame, it s like a drug." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re chasing it ever more, and you want more likes, and more followers, and more jobs, and more money, and more status, and more esteem, and you re searching outside of yourself, and it s a crazy thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get this, and maybe you ve had, I wanna hear your experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I started to get famous, which was later for me, late 30s, early 40s, from the office, and I did a couple of shows before that, Six Feet Under, and some other things, and I started to get recognized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it was the weirdest thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Picture that nerdy kid that I was talking about, whose mom took off, whose parents were in a loveless, fractured marriage, with a lot of just alienation all around me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then picture that guy, that same guy at 38, 39, walking down the streets and people going, hey, I love you!" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is a weird thing to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you, and they d turn, like, I love you, I love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m being loved, finally, I m loved, oh my gosh, I m loved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, is that love?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve laughed at you and I appreciate your work, is what they should be saying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I enjoy what you do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But they don t love me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t love- They don t even know you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t know me and they don t love the kind of essentially unlovable Rainn Wilson." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So- I doubt that, you re very lovable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s, no, but I understand that because, I mean, I think it s interesting because for me, you know, my," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "career has been" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They only know me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been a character." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s so unusual, because when they say, like, oh, I love you, it s like, this is weird, because you actually do kind of know me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am, there is always going to be parts, there are parts of me that are not seen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s impossible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re not going to share all of you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t share everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t see my mental breakdown." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, they don t see me on a grumpy day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is weird, because you almost feel" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, is it imposter syndrome in a way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re receiving all this love and affection and you re like, but I don t feel like it s deserved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was that sort of your experience?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or was it more like, they don t know me and they think that they do, so this is kind of bizarre and hard to digest?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was your reaction to suddenly having all these people" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fawn after you and love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a colossal mindfuck, because who doesn t love people coming up and saying, hey, I love you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or I love your work, or I love what you do, or you re great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone loves that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Celebrities are lying if they say, oh, I don t like fame, or I don t like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone likes that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is a very human thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But at the same time, in the first few years that I was famous, it kind of went to my head in some not healthy ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m not saying I went on like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "cocaine-fueled binges, but it did mess with my head and messed with my ego." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m also not saying I became this arrogant narcissist, but I could be a dick sometimes, and it was really hard for my wife to put up with me during" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a lot of those years, and I wanted more, and I was, you know, I ve talked about this on some other- Oh, so it was the opposite of imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, I got this, I m gonna soak it up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanna soak it up, and I want more of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I want more, I see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How come I m not getting even more that chase?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, oh, this feels good, then I want more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, a lot of people, I imagine people are watching and going, boo, hoo, hoo, cry me a river, you celebrities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You make money, you get endorsements." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, it s so hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a lot harder to be a plumber and to pay your bills, but" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Still, people view it as like, oh, once you get a certain level of fame, then you are arrived and you are going to have it all and you won t have any worries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We talked about anxiety a little bit and I was a very anxious child and turned into an anxious adult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been treated for anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have an anxiety disorder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anxiety makes me do a lot of things I don t want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fame, it s like pot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Pot makes you think that you re calming your anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t really calm your anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just putting a blanket over it temporarily until you come kicking and thrashing out of the blanket." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So fame is the same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s seemingly soothing your anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, they like me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I m popular." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I ve got a new job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, that s soothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s not addressing that essential wound." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My anxiety response to fame is so the opposite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me being in the public eye gives me so, so much anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More anxiety, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it is a trigger for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s also the internet age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you chose to be in the public eye?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You chose to be in the public eye, and you could not do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could totally not do it, but I have to weigh the pros and cons, because I love," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many things about it that I love, so it s so worth it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s more like managing that relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is I think so frightening is sort of the town square, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you feel like you re always in the middle of the town square in a way, even though no one really cares and it s not really that deep, but you feel like every move you make maybe, you re being scrutinized, which you are in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that I think is what causes me a lot of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is a difference between being an actor, now people know me from Instagram and social media or whatever, there s a certain" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "level of play there and being on podcasts like this where I m talking as myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But mostly people know me as a character." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that is a little separation, but you re right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You come up in this lens and it s like, people are following your every move, what you re wearing, what you re saying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so your every action" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is scrutinized in a way where it s kind of like, God, can I just go get a smoothie and not take a shower and not have someone try and sneak a picture on their phone and post it or something like that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think the age of social media has impacted what being a celebrity is, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or being famous is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because anything can be posted at any time of you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is a lot of Dwight on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, what is your relationship to that character?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you just so sick of talking about it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or will it never get old?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it was such a huge part of your life and it is, I imagine, such a special character to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is your relationship to Dwight?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, am I, yes and no, am I sick of talking about it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve talked about it a ton, because not just over the last 10 years since the show ended, but during the nine years of doing the show." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s been almost 20 years of talking about Dwight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So part of it is like, who likes to talk about anything for 20 years?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that, at the same time, I understand the lasting legacy of that show and how important it is to people, how important it is to their mental health and how much it has helped calm and qualm people s anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people are so obsessed with the show." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They love it so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to sometimes, I ll go to a fan conference and do some signings or run into people or whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are crazy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "crying, they re sobbing because that show just meant so much to them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I want to honor that, you know, and you know, like I said, I played dozens of characters before Dwight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve played a couple dozen characters since I played Dwight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just one of the characters that it happened to be the one that was on a home run show that lasted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a great relationship with Dwight and a great testament is that people can t believe how different I am than Dwight and they" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they see some similarities and, oh, some similarities." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dwight opened so many doors for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I ve had so many incredible opportunities to do movies and to meet incredible folk and to travel and obviously to buy a house and a great paycheck and an amazing office family." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So super, super grateful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How could I not be?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do, I hope at the end of the day that people understand like, oh, he was an actor and he was a good actor and he was good in a lot of different roles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s what I was gonna say." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you feel like is a role that you did that you wanna talk about more?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it was so... Well, I haven t done any for nine years, so I didn t do 200 episodes of any other role." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right, of course." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But even something that was like, even if it was a tiny indie film that no one ever saw, like whatever, what is that character for you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is that role for you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, I did, the first thing that popped in my head is I did this indie film 10 years ago called Hesher." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Natalie Portman." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no one saw it for some reason." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a really good movie." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The score is by Metallica." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a really fucked up and funny drama." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I played this kind of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really sad dad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His wife has died." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a dramatic role." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m pill popping." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a role I loved playing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of people saw the film and had no idea it was the guy who played Dwight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was kind of like, for them, it was like jaw dropping because I just, I looked so different and acted so different." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they couldn t even put it together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, I need to watch this?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, it s a really good film." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, what is your favorite type of, or like, what was sort of your favorite type of character to play?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, was there something that you were drawn to?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it something that s similar to you or something that s maybe as far away from you as possible?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what was the most exciting to you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think from the background that we talked about, like, I love to play misfits." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love to play people that don t fit in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t know how to play someone popular or well balanced." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I mean, could I do it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could kind of fake my way through it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, could I play like a handsome popular CEO?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, maybe I could." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "give that a try." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who used to be in a frat, like maybe, but I m always gonna be attracted to the oddballs and the weirdos and the people that have anxiety and alienation and just don t quite fit in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where my heart goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the people I m drawn to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the people I love and those are the characters I like to play." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you going to do some acting?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should do some acting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I actually did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve done one audition." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I didn t think I would enjoy it because I didn t grow up doing theater." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to manage your acting career." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, I would love that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I be your manager?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, that s really easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, we ve got an audition for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do the reads with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s how manager doesn t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, come on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just the first cost you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Per hour or like per minute." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re more per minute for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could go a thousand dollars an hour." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ouch." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll work it out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, actually there s something that s really interesting to me about acting is my entire career is quite literally it s" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "all about me being myself all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s all it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve almost never played a character and there s something so appealing to me and almost refreshing to me about the idea of doing the opposite." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think what s curious to me is like, can those who are familiar with me separate me from, me from," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "from what would be the character." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost like this opposite sort of like, for you, people talk to you and they re like, where s Dwight?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, that was kind of like Dwight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, are they gonna?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "with me, they re like, this is weird, she would never, they re immediately gonna be like, well, that s not her, that s not her, but maybe not, I don t know, I don t know how it would translate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a relief from being yourself sometimes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I get to be in someone else s shoes, see the world through the lens that they see the world, can have thoughts and feelings that they re having, not necessarily what I m having, and there s something really magical about that transformation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t wanna sound pretentious," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s exciting to do when you can hook in to a character s guts and transform from your normal sloppy self." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like as an anxious person, like it s an anxiety relieving sort of activity to be on set?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is interesting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there is a, there s a different set of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you re on a set and everyone s watching, how good are you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a certain anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re on a stage and there s people watching, that s a different kind of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The kind of anxiety that I have has to do with just me being in my own skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just my anxiety, I do a lot of things to, I don t want to say control it, but to manage it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I do exercise, I do prayer and meditation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in therapy and I have other tools to, you know, when it starts to creep up on me, I can recognize it and say, Oh, hi, there you are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hi, hi, anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going on?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do you need?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, you re afraid right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you need soothing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, to me, I feel like anxiety and my therapist works with me on this a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a need that s not being met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when it appears, it s like, you have to go not just, oh, I m a suffering, I m a slave, I m a victim to my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the next step?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my anxiety telling me that I need?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me that I need to unplug for a while?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me I need to exercise?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me that I need a hug?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me that I need a nap?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me I need to be in nature?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it telling me that I need to kind of finish those things that I ve been putting off for months that I said I was going to do?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, allow it to be your teacher and your guide." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t allow it to become your master." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it takes a while to figure that out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It took me decades to kind of figure that out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now when the anxiety rises, I get to detach from it with love." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s welling up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to go, oh, there you are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Put my arm around it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you need?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what do you need?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you get panic attacks?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to get panic attacks a ton in my twenties." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going through that phase right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get so, so many and it s horrible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, and it s, but it almost becomes, I think this thing where, and maybe you had this experience too, where it s like you become afraid of getting another one because you know how debilitating it is to get one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you start to feel it well a little bit, like you feel the hackles rise and your breath gets a little short and you re like, oh no, I m gonna get one, and you get more anxious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re a little nervous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you re like fully having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s horrible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are two different types of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s like anxiety that comes as a reaction of something and it s inevitable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being on stage, of course you re anxious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then there s anxiety that s like, it s almost unnecessary." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "it seemingly comes from nowhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But you know how you get in through an anxiety attack, like you learn, you don t fight it, you just, you recognize, oh, here it is, and it sucks, but you have to breathe through it, and you know it s gonna pass." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You don t hold your breath, you breathe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would always lay down on the floor, and kind of fetal position, and just, and then it would pass, and then you learn, okay, it s gonna pass." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I used to get them on talk shows," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when I was doing the big talk shows like Letterman and Leno and Kimmel and stuff like that, I would get them before the talk show." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that was part performance, but it was also part imposter syndrome of you re not funny enough, you re not good enough, people aren t gonna like you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where was the pressure coming from to be funny?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was it coming from within?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was it coming from the industry?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where was that pressure?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s two parts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Number one, it s the most artificial form of entertainment there is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re going on Jimmy Kimmel, you talk to the producer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re gonna have you on for six minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What funny things happened to you?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you know, what stories can we tell?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And they re looking, it s kind of scripted." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s worked out ahead of time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you re expected, and especially for someone like me, I m expected to go on there and be really funny, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because I m the guy who played Dwight, but I m not a standup." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like I m an actor, I play characters, and the characters are written funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m a little bit funny, but I m not like that kind of funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, I m not like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Seth Rogen funny or, you know, standup comic funny, you know, John Mulaney funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can t just go riff and just be brilliant." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s the one pressure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then the other pressure is like, oh, you re not going to be funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re going to see through you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re going to see what a loser you really are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, and, you know, then there s that imposter syndrome kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then that s the fear of like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re not going to like me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m going to bomb." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s this two pressures." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that was that was tough to negotiate for a while." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It only lasted a couple of years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then and then I got through it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re podcasting it up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m potting it up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you, are you balancing potting and acting or are those?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m in a great space because I used to just be all about my acting career and I had such a low self esteem if I wasn t working or if I wasn t getting new work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m, it s definitely things have kind of slowed down to a certain degree." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Um, but you never know in showbiz all of a sudden I could do something and it takes off and things work out great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m still acting, I m gonna go do a movie in two months in New York, and I m gonna do a play in LA later this year, so I m gonna do the acting, but I wrote this book called Soul Boom, Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution, and it s really about the power of spirituality to affect your life, both on a personal level, but also on a societal level." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I love having those kind of conversations, like just the conversation we re having about anxiety and mental health," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But also like, how do we make the world a better place?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And how do we think about spiritual tools to help transform the world?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We ve just recorded like 15 episodes of the Soul Boom podcast that s coming out in April." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is absolutely my bliss is to be having" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "these kind of conversations, meaningful, deep, impactful conversations that are also a little funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re on a little, a little funny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re cut from the same cloth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, um, uh, you re my second favorite Chamberlain, Richard Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m happy to be second." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s easy for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you met my dad, I would be third." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you met my mom, I might actually be fourth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have like fun parents." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re great Chamberlains." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So doing this pod and this kind of work and writing and" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "is I love it and I get to do that in acting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s just win-win." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, that s great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s nice to do a little bit of everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some reason, when I saw that you had this new podcast coming out, I was like, is this the new vision?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we still acting?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is this the new vision?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s exciting to hear that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s like you re just adding this on to what you re already doing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Acting is not done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is your relationship to acting still healthy?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you feel like you re gonna act forever?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like I m gonna act forever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t know where that s gonna go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love doing theater." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I spent my first nine years as an actor doing theater." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I may do a lot more, but I would like to die on stage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Playing like King Lear or something like that and have a heart attack." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s how I wanna go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And iconic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And hopefully I don t shit myself and puke on the stage when I do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can it, would it be possible for me to die on stage like, sexy, in a sexy way?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, but like, I think the shitting, the shitting always happens." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Piss myself, like, blood." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it could be kind of romantic, and like, maybe somebody catches you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could plan it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll manage that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, you ll manage my death on stage?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You manage my acting career." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I will then, in return, deal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Manage this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Deal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, I know you mentioned earlier $1,000 an hour." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First, let s get that down to $500 an hour." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ll manage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you see where I m at?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you watch what you re in?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Rarely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t if I was an actor." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I watched all the Office episodes once." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there s a lot of them I haven t seen in literally like 16 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So people will ask me Office trivia and I was like, I have no idea what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can imagine you don t even remember shooting half of it, probably." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t even remember." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People will say, remember the scene when you put Creed in the trunk of your car and you guys were eating hot dogs with Andy on the roof?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have no idea." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I get it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you have a show that you watch as people watch The Office?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, I mean, there s shows that I love that a lot of other people love that are just great television." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I re-watched The Sopranos again recently, and God, it was so much fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just love that show so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like there s a lot of other of those kind of shows I want to re-watch, the greats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Mad Men is great, Breaking Bad is great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Love Game of Thrones." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you seen any of these?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, can I tell you something about me that s crazy?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You need to shut the fuck up right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to send me a list." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you not seen?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve never seen The Sopranos." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you seen Breaking Bad?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Game of Thrones?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god, I don t know how to have this conversation with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can we wrap this up?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I need to send you home." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Cause this is what you re doing all the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you could be doing this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Instead of this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Kids, get off your fucking asses and doing this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And start clicking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I tell you my excuse?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t grow up with cable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I grew up with a computer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I watched so much YouTube growing up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve watched a very limited number of... Don t you love entering the world of a show, though?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The slow thing of there s eight or 10 or 20 episodes a year and you re going on an eight year journey." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Get the popcorn and put your phone away and just immerse." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Popcorn sounds so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, buttery popcorn." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about how good that sounds right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you see Dune?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw the first one actually." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You haven t seen Dune II?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you see the first one in the theater?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God damn it!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to go to the theater and see the second one!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it so good?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So good!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s so good!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m gonna so see that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like am very... I ve seen very few..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "movies and I ve seen and I ve watched very little TV, like there s something about me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something wrong with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something wrong with me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s, it s because I grew up on watching YouTube that I love YouTube." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when, at the end of the day, when I go home and I m, and I m want to put something on, on the TV, I m putting up YouTube." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I have watched a few shows all the way through." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I I ll tell you, have you watched how to with John Wilson?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, I love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That I re-watch constantly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s like a YouTube show." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I re-watch The Office, but it s fine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then I also rewatched... How many times have you seen The Office?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Twice all the way through, which is a lot for me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is a lot for you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a lot for me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For an average office fan, that ain t shit." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually a rookie of the year, but I don t watch a lot of TV." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, but I feel like a rookie being bad at TV." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m gonna give you some names of some shows, and it s okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you gonna forgive me?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna forgive you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you gonna fire me even though I m your client and you re my manager?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a generational thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I understand it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we need to get spiritual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would love to get spiritual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious, are you a spiritual person because of your childhood?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you grew up with a rich, you know, sort of spiritual experience?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you become more spiritual as an adult out of necessity because life gets just more complex?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, I feel like" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every year that goes by, I need to be more spiritual, I m finding." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was younger, I was like, eh, don t need it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m like, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you say spiritual, what does that mean to you?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, spiritual is any sort of feeling of connection to something bigger." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t matter what it is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be religious, it could be completely personal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for me, I went to a Jewish preschool and then a Catholic high school." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, but I am not." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "super religious, like I never went to church with my family on the weekend." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was like around me, but I wasn t super religious." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then as I m growing older, I m becoming more spiritual out of necessity." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like actually, it s like all, I cannot survive without that element." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of Gen Z, my understanding is that Gen Z more and more are turning to potential spiritual answers for" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not only the anxiety, depression, alienation, loneliness that they might feel, struggle with, addiction issues, overwhelm, but also as the systems around us continue to fail, the political system is dog shit, let s face it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The, you know, the economic system is increasingly unfair." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Racism and sexism continue to rear their heads constantly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, the environment is degraded." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think Gen Z people are more and more interested in looking at what would a spiritual solution to this look like based on spiritual concepts like compassion and mutuality and consultation and love and selfless service toward others." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I definitely feel that in your generation." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a uniquely challenging time because it is cushy and comfortable in ways to live today compared to 100 years ago, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then in other ways, it s so complex." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that there s been a dismantling of traditional religion in America anyway, where there s so many people who are rejecting a traditional approach, but they still need that" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something spiritual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your spirituality routine right now?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, let me go back to the first question you asked, because when I said I left the Baha i faith when I was a kid and I went into my adulthood, what happened for me is anxiety, depression, addiction, loneliness hit me hard in my 20s." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And back in the 90s, there weren t a lot of answers for those things." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t like you couldn t go to betterhelp.com." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You couldn t get the mindfulness app." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You couldn t listen to the podcast on wellness." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there weren t these resources out there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A couple of self-help books in the Barnes and Noble, but that was about it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I know who could afford therapy back then." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I turned to the only thing I knew, which was spirituality." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I started," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "out of my personal misery, started reading the writings of the Buddha." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I read the Bible, and I read the Koran, and I was searching for something." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I thought, well, maybe if I tap into some greater meaning and some greater connection beyond, like you said, myself, then I will find some" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "solace." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think humans are wired this way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Humans are wired to be spiritual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We always want to find something greater than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We always want to worship something greater than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that might be money." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That might be your career." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It might be celebrity." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who knows what it is, but we always want to" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we wanna find something greater than ourselves to worship in a way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But oftentimes we re worshiping the wrong thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re worshiping success or worshiping status or worshiping our social media personas." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what would it be like to worship, oh, I don t know," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by God, I don t mean an old white man on a cloud with a beard who s judgmental." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not what I m talking about, but some kind of power force that courses through this universe and infinite other universes that we can tap into and find inspiration and connection." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I came to spirituality out of necessity, not out of virtue." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That doesn t mean I m arrived or especially wise or illumined or anything like that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just, I needed it to cope." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that brought me back to my Baha i faith of my childhood, and I am a participating member of the Baha i faith." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think for everyone, it s what tools can we find from spirituality, from all the different rich, beautiful faith traditions to make our lives better." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So my daily practice is prayer and meditation every morning, a connection with my higher power." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m able, I have a little bench out in my backyard, so I m able to kind of" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "connect with nature, and there s hummingbirds, and there s, you know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You said it so well, just instantaneous, like, what does spirituality mean to you?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re like, connection." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s all about connection, and it s connection with something greater than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that can be a friend group, you know, as we re increasingly isolated." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I connect with my friends, and I try and think about my life in terms of" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Here I have, I ve been given these talents and attributes for whatever reason." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m this big, weird character actor who s intrigued by spirituality and issues around mental health." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what can I offer?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when I m able to give of myself, not only does it benefit the world, it also makes me feel better." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I try and harness that as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When do you feel the most" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "spiritually aligned." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I ve ever felt perfectly spiritually aligned." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m always working on it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I don t think it s something you arrive." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You never arrive at the mountaintop and all of a sudden you re there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a process." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a mastery." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If anyone undertakes tennis or tai chi or chess or one of these things, they are" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re seeking mastery, but that doesn t mean you ever arrive." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You seek to become better and better at it, and gather more and more tools." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I feel the most spiritual is in nature, and I try and go camping at least once or twice a year, and really do hardcore." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a psychologist who came out recently with this thing, I forget who they were," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Apologies, I forget who it is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But they talk about how we need to get outside at least every day." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then we need to have play dates in nature at least once or twice a week." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we also need to go isolate in nature at least once every couple months." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So think about connecting with nature on ever deepening ways." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for our well-being, but I also, like you said, connection, like love, gratitude, connection with others is where I find God, you know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s, yet do I worship like a power greater than myself?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do I worship some kind of like cosmic energy force that s creativity and beauty and music all wrapped into one?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, I do." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I believe that that force is very powerful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I also find God just in connection with others." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m finding God in this podcast room with you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right here." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like my God today." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Stop it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that what your God does?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God picks his nose too." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we can set each other" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "and free today." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you feel like we nailed it?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Total freedom." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you have after this?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you get to go take a nap?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I might go take a nap today." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am going home and I m taking a nap, 100%." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m gonna play tennis tonight." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cute." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey, thank you for doing this." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, thanks." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thanks for having me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so fun." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it was great." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t wait for your podcast." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, well, there s an open invitation if you would like to come." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shoot it out in suburban LA." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little drive, but it s really fun, and I guarantee you there ll be delicious snacks and an invigorating conversation." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We d love to have you on Soul Boom." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would love to." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, we ll get that on the books." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re the best." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yay." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So about a week ago I was doing an interview and I was asked about my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve discussed my imposter syndrome a lot publicly because it s something that I ve struggled with since I was a teenager." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was interesting because the last time I was asked about my imposter syndrome, I had an epiphany while answering that imposter syndrome is not really a relevant struggle for me in my life anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s definitely still a challenge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that is not fully resolved, but it s not as big of a deal as it used to be for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this was sort of a pleasant surprise because I didn t really do anything" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in particular to alleviate my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t take specific steps to improve it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just sort of improved naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I sat down a few hours ago today and tried to figure out what happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is it not as big of a deal anymore?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I figured out how I did it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s sort of what I want to discuss today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How I sort of fixed my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, spoiler alert, one of the ways that I think I improved my imposter syndrome was educating myself on what imposter syndrome is and what having imposter syndrome causes your brain to tell itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s get a little technical here and discuss what imposter syndrome is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got all of this info from betterup.com, psychologytoday.com, and verywellmind.com." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank God for the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high performing in external objective ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This condition often results in people feeling like a fraud or a phony and doubting their abilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They feel they aren t as competent or intelligent as others might think, and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them, that they re a fraud, that they are cheating their way to success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And apparently, this is a new thing that I didn t know about, there are five types of imposter syndrome, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is new info." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was kind of fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was actually kind of fun to read about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first type is the perfectionist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This type of imposter syndrome involves believing that unless you were absolutely perfect, you could have done better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like an imposter because your perfectionistic traits make you believe that you re not as good as others might think you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second type is the expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The expert feels like an imposter because they don t know everything there is to know about a particular subject or topic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they haven t mastered every step in a process." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there is more for them to learn, they don t feel as if they ve reached the rank of expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Three, the natural genius." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this imposter syndrome type, you may feel like a fraud simply because you don t believe that you are naturally intelligent or competent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t get something right the first time around, or it takes you longer to master a skill, you feel like an imposter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fourth type, the soloist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help to reach a certain level or status." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since you couldn t get there on your own, you question your competence or abilities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, the super person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This type of imposter syndrome believes that you must be the hardest worker or reach the highest levels of achievement possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t, you are a fraud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After reading all these, I realized I ve experienced many of these types of imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not just a perfectionist or just a super person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sort of a mix of a few of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only one that hasn t shown up for me is the soloist, where you feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ve definitely asked for help along the way in my life, and that s never bothered me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve experienced imposter syndrome everywhere in my life, even in areas that are maybe non-traditional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think imposter syndrome usually tends to address career, you know, like school, career, things that involve success, financial success in some way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of where the conversation tends to stay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I ve noticed, I have imposter syndrome in other areas of my life as well that are not related to career, but it s definitely been present in my career and it started in school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say starting in middle school, when things started to get a bit more competitive, you know, there was an option to take honors classes, more challenging classes, and kids started to become aware of how their intelligence gets them praise in the classroom and at home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve experienced imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a good student." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Straight A s for the most part." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a few honors classes, not all honors classes, I wasn t one of those kids that was in all advanced classes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always in a few, but I was never fully stacked, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a student, I saw myself as somebody who was not naturally a genius." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in retrospect, it s like, yeah, very few people are geniuses at school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like a very small portion of the population who just nails it at school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that sort of made me feel bad about myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though I got straight A s throughout middle school and high school, I never felt proud of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think there were a few reasons for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, because I definitely am a perfectionist, and I didn t get an A on every test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I rarely got 100% on a test." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, not getting 100% on every test was sort of a failure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something in my brain that doesn t like even getting one question wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love the satisfaction of getting 100% on something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, like, in my brain, when I see something less than 100%, it s like, that s not satisfying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not complete." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have done better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t see it as, wow, I got 98% of the questions right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see it as, I got 2% wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that was sort of my mindset in school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also experienced imposter syndrome from not feeling like an expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible to know everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible to know your school textbook from page one to page, what, 700?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would always feel unprepared going into tests, like, oh, I don t fully understand everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are still things that are a little bit foggy in my brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in retrospect, again, that s natural." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s normal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not going to know everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re only capable of absorbing so much information." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that also made me feel undeserving of my grades in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And possibly the most significant struggle I had in school was not feeling like a natural genius." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to work so fucking hard to get good grades." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It did not come naturally to me like it did some other kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to grind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I slept like three hours a night every night in high school because I was constantly studying, constantly doing homework." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t possible for me to succeed in school any other way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to destroy my quality of life in order to succeed at school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that, again, made me feel like an imposter and like a fraud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t deserve to be in these challenging classes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t deserve the good grades that I have because I have to work so hard to succeed that I just shouldn t even be here because it s so hard for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also sort of going back to being the type of student that s only in a few advanced classes, not in all advanced classes, that also messed with me a little bit psychologically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, why am I in only a few hard classes?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I not smart enough to be in all advanced classes?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I m not in all advanced classes, that probably means that I suck and I m stupid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it was like I wasn t looking at my range of classes in a glass half full type of way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was looking at it like, oh, look at all the advanced classes that I m not taking instead of look at all the advanced classes that I am taking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really cool and impressive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I honestly think that that is part of the reason why I had a bad relationship with school, because I was good at it, but I had to torture myself in order to be good at it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was working so hard and I was sacrificing a good quality of life in order to succeed at school and yet I didn t even feel satisfied." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like all this work was going towards me feeling like shit anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I worked so fucking hard and I felt no gratification." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt no" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "accomplishment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why I got to such a dark place in high school, because there was no reward, it felt like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a very privileged sort of mindset, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is absolutely a privilege to have an education." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re a teenager and you re in it, you re not thinking like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, again, in retrospect, I m so grateful for my schooling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so grateful for my teachers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so grateful that I worked as hard as I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the moment, it was like, I m doing all this shit and I don t feel anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that led me to my first real depressive episode in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, my first real depressive episode happened at the end of sophomore year, and I think it was as a result of imposter syndrome, in retrospect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I learned more about myself and more about imposter syndrome, I realized that that s what led me to that depressive episode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there were other things going on as well, socially, you know, just being a teenager is challenging in general, but I think that that was the biggest challenge for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think, too, that the imposter syndrome was even worse because I was putting all of my personal worth and value into how I performed at school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a good student was what I put my worth and my value into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Socially, I didn t feel valuable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t feel confident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was insecure about what I looked like because I was a late bloomer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I looked younger than everyone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that made me feel really insecure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I didn t put my value in my appearance, really, because I didn t feel like I could." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then personality wise, I was very insecure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was sort of," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I put this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I felt like a weirdo, kinda." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I felt weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ve always been very outgoing, and very loud, and very honest, and very silly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not always been warmly welcomed in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now, as an adult, I mean, I ve calmed down a little bit, but I ve also just grown to accept that not everyone s gonna get me, in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And still to this day, sometimes people just don t like my personality because it s a bit big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a bit bigger, you know, and it s maybe a bit more unorthodox in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so I think school was probably the first place that my imposter syndrome showed up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it continued into my work life and into my career life as I ve transitioned from school to that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say in my career, I ve struggled still with the perfectionist sort of mindset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed with everything I do being perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every YouTube video I put out needs to be perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every podcast episode I put out needs to be perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every Instagram photo I put out needs to be perfect in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when I say perfect, I don t mean perfect visually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t mean perfect even aesthetically always." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean perfect in my eyes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a bit more abstract, I would say, with my career than it is with, say, school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because with school, it s like, okay, you re getting graded numerically, you can numerically, there s a number there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas with a YouTube video or a podcast or an interview that I did or a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "campaign that I creative directed or whatever it might be like those things are not graded numerically those are up to me to grade in a way and also up to the public in a way to grade but I tend to rely more on my own grading system like there have been many things that I ve put out into the world that have been well received but I have not maybe thought they were perfect and so I was not satisfied with them but I ve definitely struggled with that I ve also struggled with the expert" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, not feeling like an expert in everything that I m doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I m not the best videographer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best photographer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best video editor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best speaker when it comes to talking on my podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "creative director." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not like the best coffee roaster." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best entrepreneur in a way, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why the word entrepreneur is so cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate using that word." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe because it s been so, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s a social media impact on the word entrepreneur that is not positive in my brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the best at any of those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not an expert at any of those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it even mean to be an expert?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course I m not an expert in these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially when you do a lot of things, it s harder to be an expert in one thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m really good at some things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just okay at other things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m terrible at some things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I m an expert in anything, necessarily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least I don t feel that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that has been a huge challenge for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My confidence in what I do is challenged constantly by the fact that I feel like there s more to learn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yes, that is exciting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yes, I use that as motivation as well as" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it just simply harming me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m able to sort of channel it into motivation in a way, but sometimes it rears its ugly head and I find myself psyched out and almost paralyzed by this feeling that I m not an expert in anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, well, why, what gives me the right to do anything career wise?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m not necessarily an expert in anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s another challenge I ve had career-wise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I d say, last but not least, the super person imposter syndrome, which is basically the belief that I must be the hardest worker or reach the highest level of achievement possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I don t, I m a fraud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that is particularly toxic in life because there s no such thing as the hardest worker." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what is the hardest worker?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m striving for a goal that has no end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has no, there s no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s caused me to sort of never stop going, never give myself a break, push, push, push through more, more, more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem with that is I actually think that ultimately makes me less productive because that s led me to burnout time and time and time and time and time again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "overworking myself constantly, constantly until I hit rock bottom again and I m left unable to do anything because I m in such a critical mental state from burnout that I can t do anything, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I gave myself little breaks when I needed them, I wouldn t need to take super long breaks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like I constantly am pushing myself through burnout." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t let myself be burnout as often as I should." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never feel like I m doing enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s, I think, self-inflicted, but also as a result of hustle culture in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think most people feel like they re not doing enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the hardest thing to navigate is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "accepting the fact that there is no such thing as enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a good workload is sort of undefinable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what even is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us are striving towards that goal without even knowing what that is and what that looks like and what that feels like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then we just end up overworking ourselves, assuming that that is what it means to be working hard enough, is when we re just never stopping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s how it sort of affected me in my work life and in my school life, I guess career life as a whole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s interesting because I ve noticed that I ve had imposter syndrome socially as well, like in romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to have imposter syndrome about being loved by a man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you look at the definition of imposter syndrome, it s feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally despite being high performing in external objective ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel imposter syndrome in a relationship" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When the relationship is going well and the guy I m dating really loves me and cares for me, or at least they seem to, and everything seems to be going well, I will get imposter syndrome in the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I doubt my abilities as a girlfriend, even if on paper I m an incredible girlfriend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, what does it mean to be an incredible girlfriend?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, from a bird s eye view, it s being honest, being fair, being loving and kind, being present, being willing to compromise, being fun to hang out with even, like being pleasant to be around, being attractive to the other person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing I can do about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like being attractive, being funny, being fun to be around is sort of up to the other person to decide." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s sort of out of one s control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you have imposter syndrome, you feel like those things are your responsibility as well, even though those things are just ingrained in your personality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I mentioned those." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I find myself overthinking romantic relationships and feeling like I m not worthy of being in a healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll start to doubt myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I not being fair enough?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I not being kind enough?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I not being present enough?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I not attractive enough?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I not funny enough?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m looking for the catch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, listen, usually there is a catch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve noticed in relationships there tends to be a catch when things seem too good to be true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they rarely are involving the things that my imposter syndrome assume that they will be, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this has led me to really become a shell of myself in romantic relationships because I get so caught up in feeling like an imposter in the relationship, like I don t deserve to be in it, that I end up becoming too agreeable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t have a spine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I become sort of a yes man in the relationship, just trying to avoid" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "any sort of ruffling of feathers or confrontation or anything like that because I m under the impression that I m on thin ice to begin with, when that s not even true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s even been times when I ve remolded who I am as a person to try to better appeal to the person that I m dating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in attempt to feel in control of what they think of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, if I become what I think they want me to be, then I don t have to worry anymore about whether or not they think I m attractive or funny or fun to be around or smart or this or that, because I m curating myself for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that might sound manipulative and psychotic, but it s something that happens almost subconsciously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t even realize that I m doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But ironically, I found that when I succumb to the pressures that my imposter syndrome puts on me, the relationship ends up failing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it probably would fail anyway, and usually it fails for other reasons as well, not just that alone, but that is a catalyst to the relationship crumbling, because you have to be yourself" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to be honest and you have to have a spine in a healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t, things fall apart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my imposter syndrome has absolutely negatively impacted many of my romantic relationships in the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s also come out even in my friendships, too, you know, like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really need to dig into it because it would just be rehashing what I just said about romantic relationships, but there s a very similar sort of struggle, I would say, in friendships as well at times for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve definitely struggled with it more in romantic relationships, but it s shown up here and there in my friendships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, it s shown up in my sort of lifestyle in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, growing up, my dream was to have my own house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I really like I just I dreamed forever of having my own home that I was proud of because I grew up in a wealthier town and the home that I lived in was not super aesthetically pleasing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve talked about this quite a bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a great upbringing that I definitely took for granted but at the time I was jealous of all my friends you know modern homes" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "new cars, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t necessarily have that with my family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In retrospect, I should have been fucking grateful for what I had." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a roof over my head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had food." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had presents under the tree at Christmas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it was still a dream of mine to have a house that I thought was aesthetically beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was one of my biggest dreams." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to be proud when I had people over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted all of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because of my imposter syndrome," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have never felt quite comfortable in my own home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve accomplished that goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve purchased a home and remodeled a home that is exactly what I dreamed of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like an imposter in my own home a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel weirdly out of place in my own home at times because I m like, this feels off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this doesn t feel right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I should have this home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I deserve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I ve earned it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a weird feeling to be in your own home and to feel like, wait, this doesn t feel quite right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I ve earned this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this is somebody else s house and they re gonna come home any day now and scream at me to get out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel fraudulent in my own home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I could go on all day explaining different examples of how imposter syndrome shows up in my day-to-day life, but I feel like you get the gist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the thing, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have noticed that it s gotten a lot better recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, I still have these feelings, I still struggle with these feelings, but significantly less." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of the whole point of this episode." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How did I improve my imposter syndrome?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, without even intentionally trying, I ve done a few things that have really helped to improve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, awareness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I learned what imposter syndrome was, I think, after high school at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ever since then, it s sort of been in the back of my head, festering." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s taken me a few years, but knowing what it is and understanding that it s something that I have," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "has helped me figure out when it s happening so that I m aware of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve noticed with all of my mental challenges throughout the years that one of the most important things is awareness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just knowing what it is, knowing what it feels like, and being aware of it when it s happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like this is helpful because you can t control something unless you know where it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know that it s happening, and you don t know what it s called, and you don t know what it is even supposed to feel like, how are you supposed to nail it down and fix it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot address something unless you know where it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, that s been the first helpful step." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also tried looking at things through a more analytical, technical lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of looking at my career and my successes through an emotional lens, I ve attempted to remove the emotional lens and look at things through a technical lens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find the facts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the facts?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fact is, I was a good student." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got straight A s, and that s an accomplishment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a fact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my career, instead of looking at all the stuff I haven t done, or all the stuff that maybe I failed at, I look at all the things that I ve succeeded at." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are pretty impressive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s pretty cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I look at the facts around my career, I can see, yeah, I ve failed at a few things, but I ve succeeded at a lot of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are facts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone fails." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone fails at shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s inevitable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also a fact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look at anyone s career on the entire planet, everyone s had failures and everyone has had successes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Looking at that analytically, I m able to see clearly that I have succeeded in many ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m in a successful romantic relationship or friendship, I try to look at who I am in relationships and analyze it again, factually, like what are facts?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, it s a fact that I m emotionally available for the most part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fact that I m kind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do the best I can to be as kind and nice and thoughtful as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I make a mistake, I apologize without fail." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a fact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that it s so helpful to look at things through a factual lens rather than an emotional lens when you have imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you look at things through an emotional lens, you won t see the truth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, this is true in other areas of life as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times, emotion will fog the truth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then another thing I do is play pretend, you know, if something really good happens to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Internally, I might feel imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might feel inadequate, anxious, like I don t deserve it, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the outside, I pretend as though I m proud of myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, if someone congratulates me, instead of saying, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I, I, no, it s, it s nothing, it s nothing, blah, blah, blah, no, I don t deserve it, blah, blah, blah, instead of saying things along those lines, I ll say, thank you, and that s it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a way, that is playing pretend, because what I really want to say is, no, I don t deserve it, blah, blah, blah, you know, I want to," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "lean into my imposter syndrome, but instead I lie, and I say, thank you, I really appreciate it, and I m really happy about how things are going, thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously not that verbatim, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, someone gave me advice once to smile in the mirror when I m sad, and it will inevitably make you feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sort of stuck with me because it s the act of pretending." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you smile in the mirror, you re pretending like everything s fine for a brief moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does make you feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve applied that in so many areas of my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you just need to pretend a little bit to get yourself back on track." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve definitely done that with my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does help because eventually you actually start to believe the pretend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It starts as pretending, but eventually it starts to become real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also gotten better at ignoring what other people are doing because a lot of imposter syndrome is rooted in comparison." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like, oh, I should be working harder because that person is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I should have gotten a better grade on this test because that person did it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times our imposter syndrome is made worse by others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve sort of stopped paying attention as much to what other people are doing and tried to separate it in my brain from my own success." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when somebody else does better than me at something, now I m able to be like, fuck yeah, rock on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t impact how I view my own success." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I ve always been a good team player, like I ve always been stoked for other people s successes, but it used to be that I d be stoked for other people s successes and then deep down I would be ashamed of the lack of mine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now it s more like, okay, I m stoked and it doesn t really impact how I view my success and I more am competing against myself in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that can still be toxic, competing against yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to be careful with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that s better than competing against others in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a little bit of competition though, or else you re not going to be motivated at all, but it can be easily taken too far." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Moral of that story is just kind of ignoring what other people are doing in regards to what I m doing, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should still pay attention to other people s successes and congratulate them, but you can sort of ignore them in the context of your own success." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I ve been working on as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think one of the most significant things I ve done though is put my worth in other areas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been so crucial for my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If all of your worth is in your success and you have imposter syndrome, that s a losing game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will not win that game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That will lead you to a very dark place because when you have imposter syndrome," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot genuinely feel proud of yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So no matter how successful you become, you will never feel successful enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will never feel like you ve done enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will never feel good enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is what imposter syndrome is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re putting all your worth in your success, when you have it, you re screwed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve shifted my worth to other areas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say my worth nowadays is in more of like my morality and my values, who I am as a person," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I treat others well?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I do the right thing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the last few years, that s become more of a priority for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I m at a place now where I m very proud of the person that I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still make mistakes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I m not always perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t always make the right choices." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t always have the biggest smile on my face." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t always handle situations as gracefully as I want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m a human, but I m pretty proud of" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who I am from a moral and value perspective." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel solid about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve worked really hard to get there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s required a lot of discipline over the years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve also had imposter syndrome with that, ironically enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I even still struggle with imposter syndrome around my morality and my values and who I am as a person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve continued to work hard to a point where" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I feel like that is where my worth is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is where my value is as a human being." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though sometimes I have imposter syndrome about it, I ve worked so hard to be good that I don t know, like for some reason I ve been able to combat the imposter syndrome with that much easier than I was with my success." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think too that there s a lot of reward that comes with putting your worth and being a good person because you make people smile, you make people laugh, you build deeper friendships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s like such a vivid, obvious reward there that is so fulfilling in life that it s easier to convince" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the imposter syndrome to shut the fuck up when you have such clear rewards for that focus in life that, I don t know, does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not, probably not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But going back to my career, I ve also sort of shifted my career goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of my goal being simply, you know, just success as it was for many years because I didn t really know any better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know that there was such a thing as a career goal that wasn t just success focused." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My career goal now is to ideally be as fulfilled as possible in my job as well as maintaining a healthy work-life balance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like now having a work-life balance is a part of my career goal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that is now the goal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of the goal being" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "work as hard as I can and be as successful as I can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Work in a way that allows for a fulfilling life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s become the goal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that shift has been challenging because my brain wants to go the other direction and say, no, you need to work harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you need to be doing more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But having that as my goal has just led me to a lot of improvements in my imposter syndrome because my goal is not inherently feeding my imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I ve shifted my general life goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My goals in life now are far different than they used to be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think my life goals and my career goals used to be the same, but that has shifted as I ve gotten older and now I have much different personal goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My personal goal is to build a family one day, have a little baby maybe, just a little baby," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe move somewhere peaceful, maybe not, but maybe eventually have a more private life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not necessarily fully, like my life is very public now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe one day have a more private life and maybe start a local business when I m a bit older and have a family and move somewhere else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I have a local business." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have other goals now for my general life that don t involve max success in my career." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, that s kind of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I ve done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have imposter syndrome, some of these things might help you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have to go on your own journey to figure out what works for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s been really a relief to alleviate the imposter syndrome because it bleeds into all areas of your life in a way that is really damaging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and really just shitty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s so nice to be proud of yourself sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a relief not to psych yourself out all the time and overthink everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I recommend to all of you to look inward if you have imposter syndrome and try to figure out how to get the fuck rid of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although actually, I don t think you can really get rid of it, but how to alleviate it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yes, that s what I meant to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I invite all of you to look inward and try to find ways to alleviate your imposter syndrome because I do think it s possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might not be able to ever fully get rid of it, but we can get close." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s nice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s all I have for this week." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode and enjoyed hanging out with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out anythinggoes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can order online at chamberlaincoffee.com or find our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com to see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for listening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really love you and appreciate you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "TTYL." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are very few things that we do every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll list a few." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Breathing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Blinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t even say pooping because some of us don t poop every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because some of us have chronic constipation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There aren t a lot of things that we do every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But something that we do every day that we don t think about enough is make decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t consider the decisions that we make as deeply as I think we could." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so automatic, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the value in shifting a little bit of your attention towards the decisions that you make on a day-to-day basis can help you make better decisions, can just avoid a lot of stress, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so excited to be speaking to Miss Emily P. Freeman today because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her mission is to help people get out of a rut, help people get better at making decisions, help you figure out the next right thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She actually has a book called The Next Right Thing, a simple, soulful practice for making life decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s not her only book." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She has many books." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another honorable mention." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is how to walk into a room, the art of knowing when to stay and when to walk away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emily s work focuses on helping people discover the transformative power of quiet reflection and living with intention, leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t we all want that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She also has a podcast called The Next Right Thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With Emily today, I m excited to discuss the art of decision-making because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you really think about it, a lot of stress and discomfort starts with a decision that needs to be made." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or that s the root of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the better we are at making decisions, the more we can have fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, the more we can have fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m all about fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s bring in Emily." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious, obviously making a decision is important, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what about the way that we approach making decisions?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the significance of the approach to making a decision?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so glad you asked that question because I think we all, I mean, there s lots of books and studies about this, but I ll just speak kind of casually about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all approach decisions in basically one of three ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We either lead with our gut, we lead with our head, or we lead with our heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m sort of a heart person, which can be great or terrible, depending on the day, depending on the decision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know you, I think you re a gut person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally a gut person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "from just listening to you and kind of learning from you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think the thing that you lead with, you often admire the one that other people have, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, if only I was a gut person, you know, you think like, or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The grass is always greener." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think it s good for us to know, it s not that you only make decisions on your gut, but it s that that s what you lead with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when you recognize about yourself that you re someone who leads with your gut or your intuition," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "then it can be helpful to just pay attention to the cues the other centers give you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that might take community." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That might take other practices that you have to work harder at because the gut comes so naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you kind of have to test the gut sometimes, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like I lead with my heart or I lead with my head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, head people are more like the pro-con listie maybe, or like they re kind of doing their research." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Figuring it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re kind of like, I just don t feel right about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s why, I mean, that s why we need each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why it s so great that we re not having to do this thing alone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I also think that, you know, for me, and maybe some people can relate to this, there s a theologian and an Irish poet named Padraig O Tooma." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he says, we might know more than we know we know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that that s something I am even at, you know, a grown human person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m still learning to like not outsource my confidence to someone else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And really trust what I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But first I have to know what I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you feel about seeking advice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To help make a decision?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s definitely good sometimes, but I ve talked about this with my dad before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of advice is just shit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s not wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most advice is bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and maybe that s why making decisions is so complicated because there isn t a right way to do things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very individual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess my question is, you know, how helpful is advice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should we seek advice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When is it helpful?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When is it harmful?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends on who the advice is coming from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, your dad s not wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are two categories of people that I think about when it comes to seeking advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One is the gurus, like the kind of, listen, I have been a guru collector in my life where" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it s like when I have a big decision to make sometimes I want to avoid that one and so I ll go and try to make decisions about like capsule wardrobe or you know like what s the best body type for my all that type of stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god I love that shit I do the same thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you sign up for like then I m like why does my inbox have" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so much junk in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s because I ve been collecting gurus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like a good tell for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, we all have our tells, but for me, that s a great tell of like, I m avoiding something important because I ve been guru collecting again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s not a great, I mean, there can be some gurus." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we can pick our, I call it like picking your Oprah s pick your gurus wisely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like the ones that you re like, no, I want to learn from this person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this area." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can have those, but they re probably not going to be the people that we can call up on the phone because they don t know that we exist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then there s this other group that I call co-listeners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I mean, you know, and those are the people who are more handpicked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are the ones it s like the small." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think Brene Brown talks about writing on if you can write on one piece of paper that you can carry in your pocket." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the people whose opinion you care what it is, and no bigger than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re not on this paper, you don t get a say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think that those co-listeners, people who, I mean, I feel like we have a lack of listening epidemic where a lot of us, we know how to talk, we know how to say words, but we don t always know how to listen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and listen well and listen in a way that is not toxic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In other words, not trying to tell the person what we necessarily think they ought to do or what we would do, but really listen and pay attention to what makes them tick, what s important to them, what are their core values." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s something I m really, I look for people like that who are willing to listen and ask me not just the first question, but maybe the question beneath the question and the second question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And those are the types of people that I think are good to kind of seek advice from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about, like, the headspace when it comes to making decisions?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, as I mentioned, when it comes to taking advice, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a lot of times when we re faced with a decision, particularly a big one, we get frazzled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start overthinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it always best to be in a solid headspace to make a decision?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we force that headspace?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what is the ideal state of mind for making a decision?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on top of that, how do you get there if you re not there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would say probably we would all say that we want to be in our tippy-toppiest shape." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we know that s not always possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are lots of different types of decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, if you think about there are ones that we have to make on the spot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are ones that we have a deadline for and we ve got some time to prepare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we ve got time for that anxiety, that initial anxiety to wear down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got time to test the decision to live with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One trick you can do is make a decision for 24 hours and live with it and see how your body responds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the next day, do the opposite." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, if you re going to decide, yes, OK, I m going to do this thing, but I m not going to tell anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just going to live with it in my body for 24 hours, see how it goes, flip it the next night, see how that goes, if you have the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think, really, I think the question beneath your question could be, what if we don t have the time?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do we do when" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we have to make a decision kind of on the spot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of that I think is, you know, the secret that nobody really talks about when it comes to decision making is in some ways the decision is rarely the point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The point in many ways is who are you becoming in the process of making this decision?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as we focus on our character," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who we are in community, who we are spiritually, who I am on the inside." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that can grow us to give us more confidence later when a decision comes and you don t have time to cultivate your character real quick." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s something that if it s a lifestyle," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then, I think it helps us make better decisions along the way, keeping in mind that such an invitation that I have tried to extend to myself, and I don t always do this well, is to be my own friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, me too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because listen, we re not always going to get it right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sometimes we re going to be in a great headspace, and we re going to ask all the right people, we re going to be" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, spiritually, physically, mentally feeling great, and we re gonna make our call, and then we re gonna live the life, and we re gonna live the decision out, and everything s gonna go terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we ll be like, what did I get wrong?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s when doubt can come in, and we wonder like, did I not discern correctly?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe I can t trust myself after all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe I m embarrassed, or I look like a fool now, and maybe other people can t trust me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So all these questions come in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the reality is that we do the best we can with what we know at the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if things go terribly," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If our measure of success is how things turn out, I think we ll continually be disappointed, and we will lack confidence in ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if we say, my goal is to make this decision as the person I most deeply am right now, with all the information I have in front of me, and to do my next right thing, to move, to take action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Marie Forleo talks about how clarity comes from action, but clarity cannot be rushed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we just have to do what we can do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then once we make that decision and we live with whatever the consequences are, then we say, oh, well, if the goal wasn t perfection, if the goal wasn t that everything turns out exactly right every single time, if the goal was me becoming more of who I most deeply am, well, I still get that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you never don t get that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You never don t get that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If anything, I ve learned the most from my bad decisions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think bad decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, bad decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was like, should I be nicer?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, no, it s OK that it s bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, it s like those are actually the things that that really test you and really" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "force you to grow through it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When things are all sunshine and rainbows, you can hit autopilot and be like, I m chilling out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we need those moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take it when you can get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that s the way I ve reframed it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I make bad decisions, it doesn t make it any easier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a lot, it s a lot easier said than done, but I ve tried to reframe it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I make a bad decision," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this is where my character development comes in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, do you think that that reframing actually, ironically, makes you make better decisions?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you can convince yourself, the truth actually, it s not even, it s actually true, that bad decisions are not, I mean, it depends on how bad it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, did you do something really bad?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, you know, like something- Is the law involved?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, let s, like, if it s," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to move to New York or to Los Angeles, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we ll keep it in that world for the sake of the conversation, but it s like, if you should have actually probably moved to LA, but you moved to New York, if you can look at that decision as, yeah, one might be more fulfilling for me, but also the other one s gonna teach me something even more valuable, it s like, does that reframing then" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "make you make better decisions overall?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you think, no, it doesn t make a difference?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I feel like taking the pressure off naturally puts you in a better state to then make decisions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you noticed that in people or even in yourself?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think so for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did a very informal survey among my readers about who among you are decisive?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You would self-report, I m a decisive person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Only about 30 to 35% of the people who read my stuff and who listen to what I m saying and teaching would say that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe that s because the decisive people don t need to listen to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s skewed already." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But among those who were like, yeah, I m not a chronically hesitant person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can make a decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I dug into them and I asked them like, okay, so what would you say contributes the most to your ability to be decisive?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the things that many of them said over and over and over again was that they realize and they just accept that hardly any decision is permanent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, I m kind of like, really?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know what, that s true if you think about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, it doesn t mean it didn t have consequences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t mean it might not take time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, you cut bangs, that s not permanent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But like, if I could avoid the six weeks of growing back, that would be great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But people who are decisive, they just decide the risk is worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like they would rather, they say they would rather live with the comfort of having this decision made, even if it s not perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then with that discomfort, like that tension, that liminal space between like knowing a decision needs to be made and actually making it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t like that feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so they go ahead and make the call knowing that probably it s not going to be so permanent that they can t change their minds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s huge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, whereas I feel like indecisive people, maybe instead of alleviating that pain by just making the decision, they alleviate the pain by avoiding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Avoiding the decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Avoiding the decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Putting it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s discuss that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how successful is avoiding making a decision?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, can you get away with that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in my experience, you can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You always ultimately have to make a decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on top of that, what s your advice for people who" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "avoid that feeling?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it reframing what that feeling means to you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you fix your relationship with that feeling?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think, you know, you ask, can you be successful by avoiding the, like, is that a successful strategy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think the first- Ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the first question would be, what do you mean by successful?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You mean like, can you get away with it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, can I go through life" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Basically, that person is sort of opting out of life in many ways if you have a lifestyle of avoiding it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And listen, we know people like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we ve all done it at some stage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you shudder because you don t like that feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t like that version of Emma." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like carrying around like a backpack of bricks and like it s it s terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the heaviest weight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The heaviest weight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I don t think you can get away with it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So because of that, I think when we think about, okay, so I can t avoid this decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the reason we do it though is, well, there s many reasons why many of us would do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But speaking for myself, I want to avoid making the wrong decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s thinking in binaries." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a right and there s a wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m a prayerful person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ll be like, God wants me to do a particular thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s a secret." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t actually think God works that way, but I think in my mind sometimes I fear that when I m trying to make a decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or when it comes to any binary thing we think about, like there s a right and there s a wrong, there s a path this way and there s not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t want to screw it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think also we re not only afraid of picking wrong, we re also afraid of being wrong, our identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s kind of like in there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "like a terrible person if I don t do this exactly right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think what that person or what I m looking for when I m in that space and what would be helpful is some type of framework." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I just need, like, some steps to follow because the steps are not going to fall from the sky of, like, here s what you ought to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s, like, what we want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I ll give, like, the simple framework, and then I ll give, like, the little bit four-steppy framework that could be helpful maybe for anyone who might" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Be like, I m actually holding a decision right now, and I was supposed to decide last Tuesday, and I haven t done it yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The four part that s helpful for me is it starts with a practice called point and call, pointing and calling, which comes from the Japanese railway system, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they have this system called pointing and calling where it s very simple." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of the railway workers, they have a job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And their job is to point at what s happening and to call it out loud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s so simple." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, the train is going this speed, and they point it with their body, and they say it with their voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it has reduced workplace errors by 85%, which is wild, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we can do the same thing for decisions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think pointing and calling can be something like, OK, if I m deciding, for example," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Should I stay in this job or should I take this job opportunity?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Should I stay in this room where I m in or should I go into a different room?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Pointing and calling, like, what s true in this room?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t know about the other one yet, but what do you know here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s true about this space?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this a space where I can be myself?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this a space I chose or did it choose me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this a space where I m avoiding some corners because there s some red or yellow flags over there and I don t want to look at them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why not?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How often is that happening?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, pointing and calling, when it comes to decision-making, is just a great first step." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what s going on here?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And just name it out loud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing that I think prevents me and, I mean, I think a lot of people from sort of making a move is figuring out intuition versus anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a nightmare!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is my..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, like, it is so, it s so bad because I am a very intuitive person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to trust my gut, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m also such an anxious person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I mean, I am an anxious, anxious, anxious girl." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It runs in the family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me and my parents, we love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, we hate it, but we re, here we are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I am deeply intuitive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What have you noticed" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "about intuition, like when is it good to trust it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When is it just anxiety?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I read something once about how your intuition won t scare you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it won t, it will feel smooth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you ll just glide into that decision when it s your intuition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when you re anxious," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s like, that s not intuition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like don t get those confused because it ll be so obvious when it s your intuition where, but I don t know if that s true though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I ve made, I ve had an intuition about something and still struggled to make the decision." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what are your thoughts on intuition versus anxiety?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we decipher which is which?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also how can we better tap into our intuition?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s such a great question." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think it s something that especially people who have a strong intuition, it s a great question to ask yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "fear and the knowledge of knowing that I need to do the deeply right thing feel very similar at first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think upon reflection, and that s speaking of kind of step two of this framework is looking back, is remembering your path, which is what you re doing now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re thinking like, okay, well, when I ve made this decision before," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "when I have had a really strong sense of intuition, but then I confused it like, is this intuition or is this fear?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That there is a difference between the peace that comes from doing the deeply right thing and the peace that comes from avoiding something uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so at first, they present themselves very similarly, that they both look like, I feel strongly, you have a strong sense of it, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I was talking with Dr. Hilary McBride." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She wrote a book called The Wisdom of the Body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she talked about, if you have social anxiety, you re somebody who, you go into a gathering, a party full of people, and you feel a sense of anxiety in that room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you leave the room because you re afraid and it s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You leave the room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you leave the room, you leave the party, your body feels better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it really does feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You feel a sense of relief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But she described that as that you weren t actually ever in danger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was just a sense that your body gave you that like, I need to get out of here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what happens is the next time you re presented with a party or a gathering, your sense of fear might even be higher." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then your compulsion to leave is even stronger because you re like, I know how to feel better here, is I m going to avoid being uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The problem with that is that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "everything that s good and right is not always comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we have to do our work of self-awareness, of reflection, of work talking to our people, of all those practices in the regular Tuesdays of life so that when the Saturday night decision comes, let s just say, we have some muscle memory." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have some memory of what it feels like, the difference between the discomfort that comes from being truly unsafe, and this is not a great decision, or just, this is right for me, but I m going to have to have a really difficult conversation I don t want to have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or I m gonna have to be alone or I m gonna move to a new place and it s gonna be hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could see why you might wanna avoid that, but I would say that when you get really quiet and you get alone and you kind of are able to focus on how your body s feeling in a moment, I think we all know what it feels like when we re moving from a deep place of our inner knowing versus when we re moving from a frenetic place of our fear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it takes practice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It so does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It so does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also like touching the stove a few times and seeing that it s hot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is it still hot?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, there s so much of that because there are going to be times when you make decisions based on anxiety that prevent you from, that actually make you feel worse long term." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, if you re socially anxious," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might feel good in the moment, you know, instant gratification to leave, but you ll find delayed gratification if you push through it and learn to be able to go and enjoy the party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like feel comfortable and safe in the party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that intuition is a reliable source?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How reliable is intuition?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in my experience, I mean," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, because it s like, when you tell someone to trust their gut, it s like, is that even good advice?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it could be your genuine, truest intuition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it could steer you wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, so it s like, do we trust?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think there s actually a spiritual element to intuition for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where it s like, this is my deeper knowing calling me to whatever I m supposed to be doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, regardless of if that s even what I think I want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, so, yeah, what are your thoughts on that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think anything that we say, is it bad to trust this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the follow-up is, well, I think anything we put in that blank alone maybe is not enough information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I would say that I do think there can be a spiritual element to it where it s like, it s not just me alone, that there is spirit, that there is, you know, I use like God language, that there is, you know, God, divine love with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that therefore, it s not all up to me to figure out my life, because that s a lot of pressure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as I cultivate my own spirituality, my own life with God, my own life with those who love and know me, that intuition, I think a lot of us, it s not so much that we don t trust our intuition, we actually don t know how, we don t even bring it to the table." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because some of us have been told like, you can never trust your gut, like you can never trust yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so those people," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who have experienced life in that way have to learn to bring themselves to the table." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so anything, I don t think I would ever say trust your heart alone, follow your heart alone, follow your gut alone, follow your thoughts alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like anything alone is probably not the best idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that we can have that be a data point in our world of decision making." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a tool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think if we measure our ability to trust our intuition or our heart or whatever only based on the results, I think that we won t always have an accurate measure of, because sometimes you can trust your gut, you can trust your heart, you can trust your people, you can trust God, you can do all the things, and it still turns out terribly, like we said, and it was still the right thing to do, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could have still been the right thing to do or the best, the deeply right thing for you in that moment, even if it didn t turn out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so instead of having that be the judge, it s like, does trusting my intuition help me become the person that I believe I m meant to be, yes or no?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And hopefully yes, but not again, not in a vacuum, not to the exclusion of everything else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sort of made me think about deeply emotional decisions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what comes to mind for me is like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "removing yourself from a friend group, you know, moving out of your hometown, breaking up with a significant other, you know, those decisions are so deeply emotional, usually in one extreme or the other, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, going through a breakup, you might be like, I know deep down, or maybe you don t, maybe you don t, but you re like, it s not going well, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want this to end, like I would do anything for this not to end." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do those types of just all-consuming emotions impact the way that we make decisions?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s like one of those unavoidable, full-body," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like consuming decisions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve found when I am deeply emotionally invested in a space, a person, a thing," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do think it s harder to make a clear decision in the midst of that emotionality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do think if you can get the tiniest distance from it, it s always going to be better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Buy yourself as much time as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t think you re to despise your heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes I m like, ugh, if only I wasn t such a feeler, I could be clear-headed about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But clear-headed, that s even language that we use." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, if I could have a clear head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But, you know, that s not always the way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, we re human people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I do think that having small practices that you can do, like, for example, what s just one next right thing you can do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You might not be able to make the final decision today about moving from your hometown or breaking up with the love of your life or whatever, but what s one next right thing that you can do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that breaks it down a little bit to where it s like, I m not, I m, I m not making the final decision, but I m just going to do one thing today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe it s take a nap." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe it s like drink some water." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s actually for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Small things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Taking a nap." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds so wild." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it doesn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it has been, sometimes that is so what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, are you just hungry, Emma?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need food?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That can really make a difference." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you dehydrated?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you sleep enough?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it is interesting how it can be the smallest little, because sometimes a nap will help level out your emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it will give you that distance that you need, and it will give your brain that rest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes it s calling a loved one, but it is true that my dad always tells me to make a plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s kind of that, but it s even easier than that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a tiny plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a tiny plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the next, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think, too, knowing, and this is, you know, your dad s giving you some great advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad s giving me some great advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He once told me that 51-49 is still a decision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we want every decision we make to be 100% yes and 0% no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as we look at all the data, our heart, our mind, our intuition, everything included, we might come out to be like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want both of these things, but I..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sense that this one is just like 2% more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the toughest ones." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The toughest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there s so many things on the other side." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s 49% of the things that we think are great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s still a call we have to make as grownups, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what we have to do then is we need to grieve the 49%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got to name it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We got to take what we can with us, leave what we can t bring, leave it behind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and learn to fully invest 100% in that 51% yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you recommend handling that grief of that 49%?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, let s say you go with the 51% and let s say actually that is the better decision for you, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even if it is the right decision, I think when it is a close call like that," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the experience of grieving the 49% can then make you resent, you know, the 51% choice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that is something that, you know, is hard to manage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it sort of going into every decision knowing that you re going to lose something and accepting that as a part of it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how does one manage that grief so that it doesn t make them resent their choice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This question is so important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wrote a whole book about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s called How to Walk Into a Room." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the subtitle is The Art of Knowing When to Stay and When to Walk Away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the whole thing of it is there are those decisions that are, I mean, when I talk to people across the board, the decisions that are the hardest are deciding to go or stay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To leave this thing behind or to walk away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or to stay in this room and make a difference, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what s it going to take for me to stay here?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if I leave and everything falls apart?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if I stay and nothing changes?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what you re talking about is when you walk into that next room, the one that might truly be meant for you, how do I let go of the last one?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how do I leave that behind?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s an excellent question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a formative question because the way we walk into a room is almost entirely dependent on how we left the last one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, we bring that stuff with us and nobody walks into a room like as a blank slate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we bring our stories with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We bring our narratives with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We bring, you know, we all can have in the same room, we all can have a shared experience, but we don t have the same experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have our own experience because we re bringing the last stuff with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think for me, it really has been, I mean, I talk about lists and I don t make pro con lists as much, but I, I do make lists of like, what are the gifts of that room?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like truly, like I write it down, like here s if it hadn t been for that room or that potential room, like let s say the one I said no to, like, what are the things that were gifts there?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That I m bringing with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m a different person because of that space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or even doing it for the room you re walking into." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what are the gifts of this room that would not have been in that 49% room?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do I have here?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also naming, like, what am I leaving?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what are the things that I m, like, real glad to be done with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because those things are good to remember." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you know how it is, like when you make a call, like, you know, you look you look around a space, you re like, oh, there s there s things I don t like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s red flags." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to get out of here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then as soon as you make that call, you re like, oh, but it had this and that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And oh, it was so great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You remember all that stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t deny it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think we have this tendency of when we make a decision, especially if it was tough, we want to paint that last space or that decision that we, the call we didn t make in like all villainous colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, well, it was going to be terrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was awful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those people were the worst." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so glad to be done with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in reality, that s just not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody is just one thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No room is just one thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "honest about your experience, about what it was, about what you are, who you are now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think grief is a thing that, I mean, just like we don t know how to listen, we don t know how to grieve." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think learning, like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s okay to be sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feel your feelings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t mean you chose wrong just because you re sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also maybe, I mean, some of us let go of things that we were really good at." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I worked really hard to get in that space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though it was the right thing for me to leave it or to not go down that path anymore, it s really hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can feel like, you know, like, well, at least in America, we don t like to waste our time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we think like, did I waste all my time in that space with those people or trying to get that degree or working so hard?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, you did it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did the thing, and you got what you needed from it, and now it s time to move on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think just because you re good at something doesn t mean you have to do it forever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s something that we don t have a lot of concept for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, I m skilled at this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my thing forever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we re being invited to be a beginner and to start again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We like new beginnings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are fantastic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being a beginner, like having to ask where the bathroom is and not knowing my passcode and all the things, like being new, we don t like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s also too that we think we re not going to like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we dread it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We dread it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of times it s like that with a new job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you re like, oh, I don t want to get a new job because, yeah, I don t want to embarrass myself and ask questions that might be considered dumb to the people who are higher up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then you end up" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so much room for excitement and fulfillment there that you don t even, that you forget about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You forget about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Same thing with like, you know, you break up with somebody and then you start dating, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, oh, I don t want to date around again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you start dating around again and then." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you start something new with somebody and you re like, it s actually really exciting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I m having fun in the beginning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like we tend to dread these sorts of things and it s not always, yeah, sometimes the beginning does suck and you know, that s fair, but there are also times when" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it looks a lot worse in our brain than it s actually gonna be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It totally does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have to let it sort of show itself to us in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that actually just made me think about sort of preconceived ideas about things, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like we all have, just based on our life experience," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, who we are, we have these sorts of ideas about what this is going to be like, what that s going to be like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they re often not accurate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How important is it to, you know, I think this directly relates to decision making because it s like those sorts of ideas that we let fester and exist there, how important is it to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go in and check on those." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, what you re kind of describing is the narratives that we have about ourselves, about the world around us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they are powerful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a philosopher, Dallas Willard, who says that we all live what we believe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just don t live what we say we believe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we say, well, oh, yeah, I believe in whatever the thing is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then we actually live what we truly believe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s kind of what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are deeply rooted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And your whole life you ll spend like discovering them because we don t, it s like a fish in water, like we don t know that s a narrative that s been formed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just think that s reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s my reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why it s so sneaky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very sneaky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I was asked to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "teach at a graduate-level class." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really feel like I had business doing that, but I was invited to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a narrative, you see?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was invited to teach at the school that I graduated from for a week-long graduate class for students." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my first response was like, yeah, that would be amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first response was, fantastic idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My second response was," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "uh oh, I m going to have to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to have to do this and that s going to be deeply uncomfortable and it s going to challenge all of my own self-confidence and all of my insecurities because the other people who teach have like these, you know, they like went to Yale and Princeton and all these smart schools and I m like just me and I remember that s when popped up a narrative, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a sign language interpreter by trade and so this is the sign that popped up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there it was, was like, oh, this this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it often comes like in your own voice, like a first person, like I m I m not good enough to do that or I m not smart enough to do that or whatever the thing is, we have them all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we all we walk into a room and we re wondering, like, what are they thinking of me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that was a moment when I had to when I had to kind of take the invitation for what it was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to go outside of myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is where I would say when it comes to like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being aware of your own stories, sometimes that you think it s intuition, like my intuition" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "says, you can t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s like a negative, that s a negative thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think our intuition shames us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think instead it invites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there s an invitational piece to intuition." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s when I had to get outside of my own head, my own story, and say, this person, whose program it is, is inviting me to do a thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the belonging is in the invitation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So even if I feel all the things on the inside, that s my own work to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m not going to act." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not going to move out of that space." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I might feel it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to have to deal with that maybe in therapy, maybe with my, you know, besties or whoever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s not where I m going to make my moved decision from." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to be like, I ll discern it and figure it out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I m like, yes, I would like to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you very much for the invitation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so it s almost even on a case by case basis." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it is because you don t know what might be in there until something happens to kind of wake it up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it is so it s so sneaky, but it is also so satisfying when you realize that you have one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is awesome because being aware of it is actually the hardest part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So once you re aware of it, yes, it s hard to combat it, but I think the awareness is key and just being, you know, every decision that you have to make, paying attention to yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watching yourself make the decision can teach you so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so much to learn from that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s a pointing and calling practice, like really." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, oh, here s a narrative, point at it, call it out loud." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Half the battle s over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what about when someone s stuck?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all fall into a period every once in a while where we just feel stuck and we don t know why." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And upon thinking about that, I think most of the time when you feel stuck, it s because you have a few decisions that you re not making." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s always what it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re not ones that are timely and they re not ones that are so loud that you can t actually" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes, like sometimes there can be a really big decision festering, big life change, but you re like subconsciously avoiding it so it s not even loud yet, like you re not even looking at it, oh I ve done that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my body almost knew before me that, like I felt stuck and I couldn t figure out what it was and it was because I had a decision to make somewhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s your advice for people feeling stuck?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what is, you know, how do you figure out what the next right thing to do is?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, two things come to mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We mentioned earlier this framework that I think for someone who s stuck, it s so helpful to first point and call." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember your path, past decisions you ve made." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What did you learn?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Acknowledge presence." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who s with you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who can you trust?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who can you depend on?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t go alone through these decisions." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, yield to the arrows." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what that is, is you re describing someone who s desperate for maybe an answer, but they don t actually even know what the question is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I would say that rather than" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "demanding an answer before it s time, how can you yield to the arrows?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what I mean by that is, first of all, if you can t put your decision into a sentence, you re not ready to make the decision yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no decision to make." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we feel this like, oh, if only I could resolve this discomfort." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t like it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we think like, if I just make a call," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "if someone can just give me like a bearing or some like, we almost want a deadline." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because then we d have to make a decision, but we don t know what decision is yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so this is the worst, but you might just have to wait." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The worst, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to hear that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I do think that like this smoky like stuckness, I would challenge someone in that space though." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you go through the process of pointing and calling what s true right now," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of remembering your past decisions, of acknowledging who s with me here, I m not alone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like once you get to that doing action step, you might actually not feel so stuck anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now you might not know the final decision, but you might know one next right thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there s not, and I think we can often get stuck with that phrase, like do the next right thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like we get stuck on the word right" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re like, but what is right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would just encourage you to think instead of the word next, like just what s the next thing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just the next thing today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, it could be, it could be a phone call." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be a question to someone you trust." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be like we said, a nap, brush your teeth, have some tea or coffee, whatever it is, you know, like, you know, just, you know, maybe that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think we can over complicate" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "decision making because it feels so deeply important." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it is so deeply important." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t think the stakes are always as high as we make them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sort of pivoting to soul minimalism, tell me about what a soul minimalist is and how in the world do you become one?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we all know the word minimalism." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, this is like, you know, we re trying to get rid of the things that don t matter and elevating the things that do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I think a lot of us maybe imagine" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re a minimalist, you own seven things and you live in an empty, cold house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s like those full guru vibes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going back to the gurus." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we have that idea." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then this idea of your soul, like your inner life, what s happening beneath the surface, what s happening on the inside." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you think about the way we accumulate stuff" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In our physical spaces, we re always having input, like holidays, we have a birthday, we get gifts, we go shopping, we travel, we do things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s always input." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then when we drive ourselves nuts because our closets are full, we have a spring cleaning day, we take everything to donations." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got to get this output, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We know the input, we know the output in our physical spaces." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to soul minimalism, the question is, we are always receiving input on the inside, on the level of our soul." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A conversation you had this morning, an appointment you just got back from, something that bothered you that you didn t have the time to name because you were in a hurry, but it s like there on the inside, and it impacts the conversations you have later in the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the time you lay your head down on the pillow at night, you have been accumulating reactions, responses, information, invitations," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "junk advertisements all day long." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the question is, where s the output?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what it means to be a soul minimalist, there s not a club." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do have a Substack newsletter called The Soul Minimalist, which you can find, but you can be one right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all it is is how can I begin to develop some practices of a regular practice of output on the inside?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because this is stuff we re carrying around with us all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if we don t have a way to release some of it," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just going to be a ball of nerves everywhere we go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the thing is, is everything we re carrying impacts the decisions that we make." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It impacts the interactions that we have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so what might it look like to release some of that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a couple of things that come to mind for me are silence and stillness and solitude are to the soul as decluttering is to the home." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally, yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it can be an uncomfortable practice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, so I just sit in silence for five minutes?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would say yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do, you try it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what happens." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what happens." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been craving that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you said that, I was like, oh, like sitting alone, quiet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you get to a point where you crave it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I might be a soul, like I crave that output." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know how I came to that conclusion," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that there s so much value, though, to understanding what you re doing, because I ve never understood what I was doing or why I needed it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally texted someone today and I said, I need to stare at the wall all day tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting how your brain just starts sorting, sorting, sorting, and as you sort things out, your body can send them out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a practice of release." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious, in your own life, how do you recognize that you need some wall-stirring time?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are your tells?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really bad anxiety because my brain is cluttered, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like, I m on edge because I don t feel like I have my finger on the pulse of everything I need to have my finger on the pulse of, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are things piling up in the peripheral." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love having too much in the peripheral." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I see that cluttering up on the sides, I m like, and I feel that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I know not everything s getting attended to, that creates anxiety for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when the anxiety starts to go up, I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it starts to go up, it is no mystery to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, irritability even." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can be irritable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can snap at my parents or maybe not enjoying" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "social things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t want to go out with friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want everyone to leave me alone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it s like, oh, well, we don t, we don t always have time to go stare at the wall." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like sometimes it s, it s, you know, especially, I especially think of new parents." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have a lot of people in my life where, you know, they just had kids, right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I see them and it s like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They wake up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "kids, go to work, kids, head hits the pillow, up, kids." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have not a minute." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so important to find the time, though, for that output." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we all can, but it s so easy to be like, but I need to go on my Instagram Explorer page because there s so much fun stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that is a form of input, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is a form of input." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s a horrible form of input." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you do it too much, it s so bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your, how do you know when you need" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "when you need to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you the same?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think what you described is very similar." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had twins." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had two babies at one time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I brought them with me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you can meet them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fantastic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let me just tell you that when I had two human people who I was in charge of," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about input." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hardly remember their whole first year of life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t blame you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it was just constant." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As soon as you feel like you ve got one person s needs met, you re like, oh, the other one needs something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was wonderful and a gift and all the things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, there s like two years of a blur." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I say that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to say a couple things, especially if there s a new parent listening, that there s so much grace for that season of life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s so much more grace than you can, you can t plan for it and you can t get it a minute sooner." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t store it up either." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just, it comes when you need it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would also say that when it comes to being a soul minimalist, it actually might take less time than you think." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That we think like, if I could get a week away, then I could recharge and show up for my life again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s very rare that we get a week away." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would say a lot can happen in five minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "literally set my timer for five minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like on my phone, I will grab my phone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will set my timer for five minutes and I will set it down and I will say, you don t have to do anything in this five minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you don t have to do anything, but you can t do anything else." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, there s no assignment during this time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The assignment is to be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just be a person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you get those five minutes, because probably even the busiest, working full time, new parent, all the responsibilities can probably find five minutes in the day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of that five minutes, that s not scrolling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not doing a thing to be productive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have such like this idea that I have to be productive at all times." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I have five minutes, I should be doing something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let me tell you, just" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell yourself you are decluttering on the inside, and let that be you re doing something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Write it on your to-do list if you need to, like, decluttering time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you can check it off when you re done, and then it feels like I did something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that that five-minute timer can go a really long way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you have 10 minutes, you can do 10 minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing what that much silence can do for you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just so rare." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s also other times too that you can even find it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I know when I m in the car, if I m not, I love being in the car driving and I m on, you know, I m calling someone or I m like, you know, listening to a podcast or I m listening to music and people think this is very bizarre of me, but I will sometimes turn everything off." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "no noise." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Obviously, I m driving, so I m focused on the driving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not like I m doing nothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But in Los Angeles, we have traffic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sitting in traffic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll easily get five minutes of no movement." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like you can get creative even with where you find that time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think the brain during these moments of like five minutes of silence, stillness, you know, solitude, do you think that do you think the brain just sort of does what it needs to do?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you noticed that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you think that there is a need to sort of" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "figure out what you re going to do with that time, or is that in itself ruining the practice?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it can." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that in itself, but I think practicing it imperfectly is better than not practicing it at all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even if you overthink it, okay, overthink it for the first 10 times." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But eventually you re going to calm down." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think neurologically speaking though, I am not a brain scientist, but I know this much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is that when we take deep breaths, it sends a signal to our bodies, to our actual nervous system, that we re safe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you think about it, when we are not safe, our breathing gets like... I listened to your episode about the scariest night of your life and how your body was telling you that you were in grave danger." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You weren t, but you didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so your breathing was probably really shallow and you were breathing quickly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But only when you calm down, your body started breathing more normally, and then your body calmed down because you got the signal that everything s okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can do that because sometimes we go through our lives low-key terrified every day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so having those five minutes of deep breathing even," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can just be like for your brain, it s like a brain bath." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, okay, I m going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially when you re anxious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially when you re anxious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the only solution when you re anxious is just breathe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so ... My anxiety ... I go through ebbs and flows, and recently, and sometimes I can t even explain it, high, but it s fine, but recently it s just been so" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but not even in a conscious way, it s just in a bodily way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there s a lot in the peripheral." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s just a lot happening, a lot of input." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can t tell you how many times per day I m like, we re gonna deep breathe now for three minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you do get back into it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s something that is coming with maturity for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like not laughing at" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "these sort of small, easy things like deep breathing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when my mom used to say, take a deep breath, I d be like, shut up, what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That does nothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, what, I need more, I need stronger." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so, you know, I think part of maturing is realizing that these things are not, they re not," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They work, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of people, and myself included when I was younger, just sort of shrugged off things that seemed too easy, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Seemed too obvious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally, yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we do that a lot." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We get in our own way by looking at things that seem too obvious and not giving them the proper attention." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, oh, I am so excited." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to give myself a really good five minutes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t wait for you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really didn t get a good five minutes this week." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we both deserve a five minutes today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amen, sister." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I learned so much from you today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so glad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was so amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can t wait to meet your twins." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would love to meet you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,830
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just got back from Fashion Week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was gone for two weeks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in Milan and then I was in Paris." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did the whole thing this season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to seven fashion shows." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I tell you that there is nothing in my brain right now other than fashion, there s nothing else in my brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a conversation yesterday with a friend who could not give less of a fuck about fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I don t know how to conversate with this person because the only thing I m thinking about is fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I fully immersed myself in the fashion world in a dangerous way in the last two weeks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s because I took it more seriously this season than I ever have before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved going to the shows and being a part of it in person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when my imposter syndrome kicks in and I m like, why am I here?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why did they invite me here?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like after my first fashion show, I was like, yep, I love this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It inspires me fashion-wise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even if I see a show that I don t like, it just further helps me develop my taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, okay, well now I know I don t like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, even though I ve always loved fashion and Fashion Week, I ve never taken it as seriously as I did this last season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this last season, it became a sport for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I want to go to as many shows as I can," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to wear outfits to these shows that I m really proud of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "put extra effort in and really make them good, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every last detail, from the accessories to the hair and makeup, my stylist and I really took it fucking seriously this season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime we weren t at a show, we were planning the next look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we were at fittings, we were making mood boards for the hair and makeup, like we were so into it, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was so fun, like it was so fun, and it felt like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I know I used the metaphor of the Olympics earlier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the mini leagues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like third graders playing soccer because it s not that serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a third grader playing soccer because it s not actually that serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Olympics are very serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fashion Week, it s not that fucking serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it is kind of like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "third grade soccer, but it doesn t matter because it s fun, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like with third grade soccer, those third graders feel like they re in the Olympics, but really they re just in the mini leagues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how I felt with this fashion week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, it felt like some sort of fashion Olympics for me, but it was really just, it was really not that important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doesn t matter though because it was fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this to say, my brain is so consumed by fashion, because for the last two weeks, it s all I ve consumed, that it s all I know how to talk about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So naturally, I m here today to talk about the trends that I saw at Fashion Week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to seven shows, but I looked at probably 25 shows and like really looked at them online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the trends I m discussing today are things that I saw reoccurring through about 25 collections that I was interested in looking at." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I made this list completely on my own through analyzing various collections, but then I was like, am I just pulling this out of my ass?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, am I really seeing these patterns or these really reoccurring themes or am I reaching?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I had the genius idea to Google it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, let me Google it and see what big fashion publications are saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they seeing the same trends as me or am I losing my mind?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turns out I was kind of on the nose, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was one of the best feelings of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I rarely toot my own horn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, do I rarely toot my own horn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So please let me toot it now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re just going to have to take my word for it because that could have easily been a lie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have just looked up top trends from" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fall winter 2024 women s fashion week and then stole them all and then you know said that I came up with them and then fact-checked them after it s like just trust me okay I would tell you if I stole them I always give credit where it s due or I try to and if I fuck up then I give credit later I m not a bad person I don t think so anyway let s get into the trends that I saw at fashion week this is fall winter 2024" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mainly women s clothing, but there were some men s looks in there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, for each trend, I m going to discuss my overall opinion on the trend and the trend s relationship to the zeitgeist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, how the trend relates to culture in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First trend I saw was a lot of mesh see-through clothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there were a lot of nipples on the runway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was really into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am kind of into the nipple being out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of a relief in a way to see the female nipple having a really vivid present moment because I m a person who doesn t like to wear bras." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate wearing bras." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I don t even own bras." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all the bras I own are literally, they don t have underwire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this is a privilege because I don t have large breasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is comfortable for me because I have small boobs, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wear like the most useless bra you can imagine like what it basically does is just kind of smooth out the boob but like barely okay but barely because there s no padding there s no underwire it s a bralette basically like a triangle bralette" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many times where I m like, I d rather just not wear a bra here, you know, but my nipple is a little too present." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I kind of have to wear a bra, you know, to be socially acceptable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m into the nipple being out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that this is not a new movement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, we ve been saying free the nipple for a long time, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know like I was stoked to see a lot of nipple and I actually think that the sheer mesh clothing sort of showing the body is a very beautiful and flattering way to show some skin you know because a lot of times the structure of the mesh piece gives some shape you know what I mean like it sort of puts the boobs in a nice place and it like it sort of creates this" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "filter over the body that looks beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just looks beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I think naturally in society, we look at nudity, especially like, no, nudity in general, showing skin in general as being sort of inappropriate, not classy, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of a common belief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the thing that I think is so special about the mesh pieces that I was seeing on the runway is that they were all very classy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like before, I think a lot of us would have thought of a mesh see-through top as like something that, I don t know, a college kid would wear to spring break to show some skin and be flirty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a neon mesh top." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for spring break in Miami." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us would associate it with that, which is not maybe as much of a classy vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anyone is trying to be classy at spring break, but you get what I m saying, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way that I saw mesh and skin being shown was very classy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was shown in" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dresses that were gorgeous and like really, they felt business-like, you know, like you could wear that to a meeting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although it s a crazy idea to think of showing nipple at a meeting, but you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I love this trend and I think it s really beautiful and I love the way that it was done in every show that I saw it present at." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that this will present itself as a trend in the world, starting with more celebrities wearing sheer gowns, dresses, etc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on the red carpet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s where it s going to start." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I think in general, maybe over time this will become a norm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t see it becoming a norm" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the workplace, like ever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, that s, that s a stretch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, even going out to dinner at a nice restaurant, you know, I think you see sometimes people wearing see-through mesh clothing where there is nipple visible, but it s kind of rare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that that s an appropriate setting for it because, you know, there s sort of this classy yet off-duty sort of field going out to dinner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it ll become more normalized too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wear sheer clothing, maybe to dinner, maybe to a bar, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe even going to the farmer s market, maybe even going to the flea market." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it might become more normalized over time, and that s exciting and cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll see what happens with that, but it looks great on the runway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t not mention this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it feels" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "boring and sort of lackluster." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were a lot of trench coats." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, a lot of trench coats this season." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I saw so many" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "trench coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is not new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel like trench coats have been in for a while now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess this season was proving to us that they are still very much in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally love trench coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like they re such a classic sort of jacket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also love them because you can throw them on when it s cold out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only will you stay warm because they keep you warm from" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "neck to knee, but they also are like an easy outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a gorgeous trench coat over an all-black outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just chic and cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like wearing a dress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a one-way ticket to an outfit, a trench coat." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just so easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s classic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you look at fashion through the decades and there s always a trench coat somewhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s very in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The trenchcoats I was seeing this season were very boxy, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a lot of boxy trenchcoats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, not necessarily, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were kind of all types of trenchcoats, but I definitely saw a lot of boxy trenchcoats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in general, this is sort of to be expected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, again, trenchcoats have been trendy for a while now, in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that it s a sign that people are really in the mood for a classic, timeless silhouette still." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If not, now more than ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve talked about this a lot, but in the early 2010s to mid-2010s, like what, 2015, 2016, I don t know if that s the right timeframe, but it was around there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a lot of maximalist fashion, you know, very extravagant" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like a classic, simple trench coat is sort of the opposite of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because I feel like we re coming out of that phase of maximalism, something like a trench coat just makes sense for right now, because I think most people are craving simplicity, craving something a bit more minimal, a bit more timeless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a natural thing that happens with the trend cycles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this trench coat trend, it makes sense with the culture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s already in, it will continue to be in, but it s especially in because we re craving minimal, timeless things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, kind of the opposite of the timeless trench coat, I saw a lot of fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually fur in general, but more than anything fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like big, big fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I saw some people talking about this new mob wife trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are people online saying that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the sort of clean girl aesthetic, whatever that really means." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess it s like chic, clean, neutral colors, pretty makeup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pretty meaning like very natural and I use the word pretty but that s such a terrible word for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, clean, minimal makeup, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen a lot of people saying that that s out and what s in is like mob wife, you know, like grungier makeup, big fur coats, you know, like sassy boots, like tights." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, probably like mini skirts, like stuff like, you know, a bit more edgy, a bit more sassy, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Definitely saw a lot of fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not fully sold on them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of times fur coats don t look great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a lot of times they can look very costumey." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really depends on the material that s used." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, there s faux fur, there s real fur." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, faux fur is the better option." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t really matter what type of fur is used, real fur, faux fur." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can look costumey." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can look kind of, I hate this word, but it can look cheap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you got it from" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Forever 21 or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when it s a $20,000 jacket walking down the runway, you know, it can still look sort of cheap and not nice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a shame, especially if it is real fur and an animal died for the jacket and it doesn t even, and it looks bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, that s really bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s, that s a crime." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a crime." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I saw some of that on the runway, you know, where I was like, this is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a really expensive jacket, and it looks kind of cheap, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a shame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I saw some really cool, interesting fur coats that were furry in a way, but they were using an unusual type of furry material." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I saw one that looked sort of like a sheep, and like, that was cool, because it looked like a fur coat, but then it was sort of more like yarn-ish, maybe?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t—" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think unique takes on it are exciting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I thought that that was really cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s interesting that fur coats are coming back in because, I don t know, I think people are much more aware nowadays of the harms of wearing fur, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s interesting to see fur coats come back into style because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of people and most people, honestly, are like, I don t want to wear fur." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s the same thing with even leather." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything that involves, you know, an animal, I think is sort of controversial in a way, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to see it sort of come back in, in such a big way, there was so much fur happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the way that we re going to see this manifest in the culture is a lot of fur." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually see this becoming a big trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think most people are going to opt for faux fur for many reasons, but I think it s going to be a trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think branching off of that, there s going to be, you know, little fur details, whether that s at the bottom hem of a pant or at the wrist of a long sleeve shirt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see that happening, but I don t think it s going to be in the same way that we saw on the runway because the" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "big, massive fur coats that were on the runway are not wearable, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You would struggle to walk around in one of those fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were too big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think what we re going to see is big fur coats, but manageable fur coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that big." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s interesting because when I think of a fur coat, I think of more maximalist fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like a big fluffy fur coat to me, is not necessarily minimal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, it sort of is, I guess, in a way, because the silhouette of it is somewhat simple, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess it still sort of fits in with that trend that s happening in the zeitgeist now of minimalism." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe, maybe it s a sign that we re about to enter a phase of maximalism again, but slowly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it starts" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where everybody s swinging in the opposite direction, rejecting maximalism, going all in on the simple silhouettes, nothing flashy, and then it slowly builds back up to being maximalist over time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Slowly but surely, that might be what s happening, and this might be the first sign of that coming back in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who knows?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe I m overanalyzing it, and I don t know what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So love you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Moving on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of stiff, rigid, sculptural pieces, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, a stiff leather dress that honestly probably is made of plastic on the inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that rigid, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about stiff plastic, like the type of plastic that would be used in a water bottle, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously it s not so stiff that it s like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can t move it or bend it at all, but it s rigid enough that it s almost always in its form, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a dress that it was like black leather, but it was super stiff on the body and it had breasts sort of built out on the dress, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It had these manufactured sort of boobs, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was super" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "rounded on the bottom half so like where the skirt would be it sort of peplumed out in this very stiff way okay that was something that I saw I actually saw multiple dresses like that on the runway there were actually now I m thinking about it there was a lot of that there were like trench coats that were like that there were super sculptural like stiff stiff stiff okay" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope I painted that picture right, but I saw a lot of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I love how this looks, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks so cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every single time I saw it look like that, I was like, ooh, yum, I love that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks amazing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks so cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks sort of like Polly Pocket clothes, like it looks like doll clothes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something sort of dystopian about it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks like a video game or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very satisfying to look at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also satisfying to look at because there s not one wrinkle in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not one wrinkle in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s perfect, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of perfect in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because it is so sculptural and it doesn t move." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a hard time imagining this trend actually making its way into culture because I don t think that these pieces are wearable, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they look amazing, but you can t sit in them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too stiff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re too rigid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re wearing one of these dresses, you re not sitting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know, I ve been thinking a lot about how this could translate into actual trends that, you know, the masses are wearing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t know what that looks like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a less extreme version." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s using a rigid material that s less rigid, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can still sit in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But would that then lose the effect of the design itself?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see if that makes its way into the trend cycle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could maybe see this becoming a trend in tops, like, because with the top, I don t know, like all your main hinges on your body, what your," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "waist when you sit or your hips, I guess, when you sit in your knees, you know, none of that is obstructed with a top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, unless you re like hunching over, I guess it couldn t be a long sleeve top, though, because then your elbows wouldn t work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how this is going to make its way in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe it won t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s just something that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we appreciate the art of, but we can t really adopt ourselves unless we wanna not move our limbs and have our joints be, well, we give our joints a break, that s for sure, but that s not very practical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So interesting, it s interesting to see something like that be so prevalent on the runway and be like, I actually don t think that this is functional though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how does this manifest in the world?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very curious to see, but I will say," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that I love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would maybe buy a piece like that if I could find one that was wearable but still had the same effect visually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, we ll see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of delicate pajama-like knits, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a few pajama-like looks on the runway, which was very interesting to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in all the collections that they were present in, it like came out of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what is this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I saw it a few times, so I have to mention it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about thin, white, blue-ish, sort of pastel-y sort of fabrics, sort of sheer, in pajama-like silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when we think of pajamas, we think of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "little button-up long-sleeve tops and, you know, soft shorts and little soft tank tops and, you know, with little buttons and maybe a little bow or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Little pajamas, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw that on the runway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so pretty and dainty and it looks soft and comfortable and appealing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you look at someone wearing that type of clothing, you re like, oh, they look so comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it looks like they re in their pajamas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what was interesting was all the looks that I saw on the runway were very pajama in all sense of the word." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they looked like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something that someone would wear to bed, but yet they were sort of styled in a way that they would be worn out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe this is a sign that we re bringing the pajamas out of the bedroom and we re bringing them to the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually kind of love that because I love these materials." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually love these silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The materials, again, as I said, look soft." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look dainty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look pretty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see someone in that type of clothing, you re like, ah," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look so comfortable and they look so sweet and there s something so endearing about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on top of that, it s flattering too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the idea of pajama-esque clothing becoming more trendy for out of the home because I think that, why not?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you take all societal expectations out of it and all societal rules, if something s comfy and you love to wear it and you feel good in it," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wear it out of the house, even if it s considered pajamas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who cares?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it ll be a while before we see people like actually wearing full pajama-like looks out of the house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, people already sort of do that, but I think that we ll be seeing more pajama-like pieces styled, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let me give an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, little pajama-looking shorts with like a t-shirt and like socks and sneakers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s already kind of started to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve actually seen that a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe this was a reflection of things that are already happening out in the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I could also imagine like a pajama like top paired with jeans, you know, and like that being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, like that s kind of already happening, I guess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, but I thought it was nice, so no complaints." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I saw a lot of bows, which was interesting because I think that the bows being present in all these collections was not fashion thinking first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the culture thinking first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there s been a lot of bows happening for the last year probably, maybe even a few years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen a lot of bows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like bows have been very trendy, like tying bows on everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and that s not going anywhere because I saw a lot of bows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bows are still very relevant, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A dress with bows all over it, you know, a big jacket with a big bow on the front, like just bows, like ribbons, bows, it s all happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am sort of neutral on this trend, like, I think it can be done well, almost in a way where you re not even thinking about the bow piece of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the outfit or of the clothing piece it sort of just naturally becomes a part of the outfit or of the piece and it just works and that s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think sometimes the bows can be sort of overdone to a point where it s like okay let s relax you know what I mean like slapping bows all over something can feel maybe overly trendy in a way like bows are classic like I don t know but when the trend is leaned into too hard maybe it can" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "become a little corny in my eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who am I to talk, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s my read on it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I like the use of bows, even dramatic bows or a lot of bows, if it s done in a way that feels unique and natural and cool and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feel like a reaction to the trend, but it feels like just a genuinely thoughtfully made piece." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I m like, yeah, that s cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s already a trend and I think that the trend will probably end soon and Bose will return to just being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a detail that we see every once in a while you know it won t be a trend they ll never go away they re bows like we will always have bows on things but yeah it ll just go back to being something that we see every once in a while because i feel like it was already a trend and then now it s on the runway it s like okay we re done maybe like i think people will be done with it soon so i think that was the last season for bows i don t think bows are going to be as serious next season but what do i know again what do i know i m just fucking spitballing here okay sue me" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I saw a lot of 1960s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about pencil skirts, you know, skirts that cut off at the knee, little matching jackets, boxy dresses, cute little plain sweaters, you know, classy little shoes with it, like a little loafer looking thing or some sort of flat or like a short little heel or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the 1960s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I fucking, I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, really sparked joy for me this season." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime I saw a 1960s silhouette, I was like, wow, that s just amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I fucking love that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what was cool to see, though, was that it did feel somewhat modern on the runway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I saw it done in a way that does feel current." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it didn t look like a costume version of a 1960s person, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt like a slightly modernized version of the 60s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whether it was by using different materials, like, I don t know, maybe integrating leather in a way that s sort of unique or maybe slightly modernizing the silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I saw this simple short-sleeve sweater." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the sleeves were a little shorter than I think what was popular in the 60s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it felt a bit more modern in that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I loved it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I loved it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it because it s comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s practical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally timeless in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, things like pencil skirts are not always in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like pencil skirts are not always in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d argue that they re timeless, but they re definitely not always in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can always make a pencil skirt cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always a world where that can happen, but they re not always in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that the way that they re being done now is just so, I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love all the 1960s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will see me wearing sort of medium length skirts, whether it s" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know cutting off at the knee or maybe right below the knee with a cute little plain sweater and a cute little matching jacket like I love that and I would love to do that with a cute little easy shoe some sort of loafer adjacent shoe and like a sock always I mean I have to always wear a sock with that type of vibe but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that or with like a little kitten heel, you know, it s it feels retro." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels vintage, but it can feel hot and cool and young, too, if it s if it s experimented with a little bit, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think these 60s silhouettes are going to come back, for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to become cool again to sort of dress like your grandma a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I think we re going to see the younger generations, you know, my generation, Gen Z, maybe even millennials." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wearing what is traditionally known as clothing for people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, these silhouettes are known as almost sort of grandma-esque clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not saying that in a derogatory way, but" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no denying that, you know, there are stereotypes about how people in certain age groups dress, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think because these silhouettes come from the 60s, when our grandparents were, I don t know, how old were they?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "20 maybe, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of them haven t changed their style." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they re wearing the same sort of thing, right, that they were wearing during their 20s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just think of these silhouettes as being for maybe people of a different generation, of an older generation, but I think it s really exciting to see them become relevant now and I think it will be picked up on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see this becoming a trend and I m excited about it because I think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are chic, timeless, really elegant, but yet practical and comfortable designs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m stoked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that the sort of feeling around these silhouettes are going to change in a way that s palpable, you know, like, it ll go from being like, oh, that s like a grandma outfit to being like, cute and chic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa, we love that, you know, like, it s just gonna change." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I could I could see that for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I saw a lot of monochromatic outfits, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, all red outfits, you know, all maroon outfits, all mustard yellow outfits, all dark gray outfits, you know, like charcoal gray outfits, all black, a lot of all black outfits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, so much all black." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Monochromatic meaning every single piece in the look is exactly the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s a monochromatic mustard yellow look, the top, the jacket, the bag, the pants, the shoe, like everything is the same color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like this because it s easy and practical and it always looks chic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you just naturally look put together if everything that you re wearing matches." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I think it s satisfying to look at." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it almost always looks cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know if people agree with me because I feel like I didn t always like monochromatic outfits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to think it was too matchy-matchy and it was almost sort of cringe a little bit because it felt forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you re forcing yourself to wear all the same color, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it felt forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless it was an all-black outfit or an all-gray outfit, unless it was an all-neutral colored outfit, so like all-black," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all gray, all beige, it felt sort of forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like wearing an all red outfit, an all blue outfit, an all mustard outfit felt forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what I think makes it work is when the color that s chosen is a really palatable sort of color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, if somebody s wearing a monochromatic neon pink outfit, that s tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a tough one to pull off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love that, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s also because I don t like neon pink, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody wears a monochromatic maroon outfit, that s a much more timeless color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more classy, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it comes down to what color is being chosen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on the runway, I saw a lot of understated sort of colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Easy on the eyes, dark blue, maroon, mustard yellow, you know, like, again, easy on the eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what other way to put it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious about whether or not monochromatic outfits are going to become trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see it because there is something so convenient about it in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s particularly convenient with more neutral colors, like all black outfits, all gray outfits, all beige outfits, all brown outfits, like that s easy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of us have those neutral colors in our closets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like easy to create a monochromatic outfit with neutrals, you know, because a lot of us have those neutrals to begin with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I am curious about and what I can t necessarily predict is whether all maroon outfits, all mustard outfits, etc." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are going to become trendy because you kind of have to make more of an effort with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you have to go and buy a bunch of maroon pieces of clothing that all are the same shade of maroon or else it doesn t really work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the inconvenience of that makes me think that that will not be a huge trend necessarily." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, wearing all black, all gray, all beige is kind of always in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone s always doing it, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it ll become more trendy than ever, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious to see if people start really leaning into the monochromatic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I honestly want to lean into it a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only one that s hard for me is all white, like white top, white pants, white shoe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s, there s something about that that I just don t think I ll ever do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe because I m worried about it getting dirty and it s just too stressful for me or maybe I just don t like how it looks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of just don t like how it looks for some reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "White is just so sharp on the eye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just I don t like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see what happens there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I already sort of mentioned this, but I saw a lot of understated color palettes, like not a lot of bright colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of neutral colors, black, beige, brown, gray, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of like jewel-toned colors, you know, like deep reds, rich yellows, deep yellows, you know, darker colors, like less," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bright, less uncomfortable on the eye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I even saw like some sage greens in there, you know, like it was just it s pleasant on the eye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love these colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like only want to wear these colors anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love wearing bright colors anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of rich colors, but I also did see some sort of pastels as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the pastels are pleasant on the eye as well, but it was like all very muted versions of colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t sharp." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt, they almost felt sort of like the most neutral version of the colors that they could be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They weren t super potent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s nice on the eye it s really nice on the eye it s soothing to look at and it s honestly more flattering in a lot of ways like super bright colors just don t look good on me they do maybe look good on some people they definitely probably do but i don t know like i think almost everyone if you were to take anyone on the planet and take a picture of them in a neon pink shirt and then take a picture of them in like a pastel pink shirt" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think most people, if not all people, are gonna look better in the pastel pink shirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you took anybody and you put them in a bright, bright, bright red shirt, or you put them in a more maroony shirt, I think most people are gonna look better in the more maroony shirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bright colors just tend to overwhelm people s features." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t explain it, but it just doesn t normally look good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It rarely looks good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I did actually see a lot of classic red, red, like bright red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was kind of a reoccurring theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just red as a color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot more of these more muted colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even want to address it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just it s like it s the color red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you even talk about that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s less of a theme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I saw that color a lot, but it s also like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I just imagining that one?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I m loving the muted colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yum, yum, yum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that will show up in the trends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think it already kind of has." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anyone s talking about neons right now or even just bright colors in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like most people are gravitating towards more muted colors right now just because it goes along with the more minimalist" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "phase that we re going through in fashion, you know, like people are not gravitating towards the eye-catching, the loud as much maybe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of black and white outfits, but particularly black and white sort of suiting" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like classic suiting like white button up in various different forms with some sort of tie and some sort of suit jacket okay and then some sort of classy pant it could be a skirt it could be you know slacks it could be whatever but i saw a lot of that and it was done in quite a few different ways like some felt sort of victorian some felt more just like kind of generic i don t know" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But obviously the black and white suit is very classic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very timeless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, it sort of reminded me of, like there s something sort of gothic about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve been saying that I think it s going to be a trend to dress like Count Dracula." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of how a lot of these suits look." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you look up Count Dracula right now, he s wearing a black and white sort of suit, sort of dramatic suit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I saw a lot of things like that on the runway." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, oh my God, this is very Count Dracula to me, the sort of classic black and white suiting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s cool." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does have a weird little gothic undertone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could just be my imagination." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t know what I m talking about, but I really like it because not only is it timeless, but there s something really cool and weirdly edgy about it, which is ironic because it s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A black and white suit is as classic as it gets, but I think the silhouettes that I saw on the runway were a bit more dramatic, a bit more maybe Victorian-esque, which makes them feel a bit more gothic, which then makes them feel a bit more edgy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I m really into it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think, yeah, it just feels kind of like cool Dracula." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m into it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t know why I like it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m trying to explain why I like it, and I m realizing that I don t even know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s because I ve always in my heart sort of liked gothic clothing, like anything that feels sort of gothic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this falls into that category in a very mild and nuanced way, in a very wearable way, really." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there s a range of gothic styles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go full gothic or you can just be lightly gothic and dress like Count Dracula." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I think this classic black and white suiting will... I don t know if it s going to become trendy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been predicting it for months for some reason." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s going to dress like Count Dracula." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been predicting this for some reason and I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I was manifesting it for myself because I just love this vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only thing that I think is challenging about it is that it requires a level of tailoring, like you have to go and get a suit top like that sort of tailored a lot of times and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess maybe not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe if it s made of like stretchier material, maybe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe, maybe it will take off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think sort of vaguely gothic styles are going to come back in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe as a response to a combination of the 2010s maximalism being like bright and neon and cheetah print and weird galaxy print and shit like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe as a response to that, and then also as a response to minimalism, which is like the complete opposite, it s like so simple, it s so timeless, it s so just, you know, what do you even say about it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it is what it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the response to both of those things is something a bit more gothic, you know, like a vampire vibe, a Dracula vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, you know, when you look throughout the years, there s always been people who have gravitated towards that aesthetic, and it s sort of always been present, but maybe it ll have a mainstream moment this year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ve been seeing people on TikTok and stuff, well, not TikTok, I don t have TikTok, I guess on Instagram Reels, like doing their makeup, making it look like they have bloodshot eyes or like dark circles under their eyes, like, you know, making themselves look" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "pale in a way like not bronzing their cheekbones and stuff like that to bring color to the face like instead just washing out the face and sort of doing a more vampire sort of aesthetic and maybe that s just my algorithm because I like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of gothic vibe and I always watch those videos all the way through, but also maybe it s happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s becoming mainstream that that s a cool vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is kind of random, but I saw a lot of skinny belts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like skinny little" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "belts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw them over dresses." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This kind of goes hand in hand with like the 60s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, imagine like a boxy sort of dress with a little skinny belt around it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I saw that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just skinny belts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were around." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I saw them around a few times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really love a skinny belt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sort of forgot about them because I don t often wear them, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to wear" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of, I would say medium-sized belts, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like medium thickness, maybe an inch thick, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of these belts are like a centimeter thick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very dainty." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love the way that they look." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love the way that they look around a trench coat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the way that they look around a dress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the way that they look in a dress pant or in a skirt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I particularly love a belt that matches the piece that it s belting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a dark green trench coat with a dark green thin belt around it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like a black dress with a black thin belt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it just looks so good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It adds this dimension." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It, you know, brings a bit of attention to the waist, but it s subtle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love the way that this looks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so cute." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that it s going to become a trend because it s kind of an easy thing to find." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is an easy accessory to go pick up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go to any thrift store right now and find a thin belt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they re everywhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that they were as trendy over the last few years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s probably a lot of them in the thrift store right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s just an easy one to go pick up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I could see this becoming a trend because it s easy, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of times that s when things become a trend is when they re easy and they re doable, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "big, massive statement belts, that s maybe a more challenging trend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s harder to wear those with things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t often fit them through your belt loops, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not as convenient." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not as usable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So people just aren t going to gravitate towards that trend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to have a harder time taking off because it s just not as easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the little, cute, dainty little belts, easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyone can go pick up a mini belt right now like that, a little thin belt, easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I definitely see that happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think accessory trends tend to pick up a lot easier because it s just like the barrier to entry is just not nearly as challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have a lot of hoods." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of hoods up on the runway." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a lot of outfits where the hood was up like that was a part of the outfit that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether it was a jacket with the hood up or it was a dress that had a hood built in, I saw a lot of hoods." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this to me was very exciting because there s no better feeling than having my head warm and covered and cozy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that feeling." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wear hoodies all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing a hoodie right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hood is up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I love the sensation of having a hood on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I ll put on my robe and a beanie." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I should just get a hooded robe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m not, I don t need a new robe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just use the beanie for now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I love this because I love the sensation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I love wearing a hood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just feels good for me for some reason." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also like the way that it looks and the feeling that it has." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s something about having the hood up that feels" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "cool it feels effortless it feels kind of like i don t care don t talk to me you know what i mean like i m incognito like don t talk to me it has this sort of cool mysterious vibe to it in a way and i actually bought this big" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of stiff actually, it s kind of stiff and structured, not quite like the pieces I was talking about earlier, but it was definitely stiff and structured." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This stiff and structured hoodie, and it has this really comfortable hood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wore this hoodie out because it s more of like a, it s not a hoodie, it s more of like a stiff sweater." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feel like a sweatshirt, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I wore it out to dinner a few weeks ago, maybe a few months ago now," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was having a really bad hair day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I actually wore the hood up because the piece is maybe a bit more fashionable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I felt like I could get away with it, like wearing it like that to dinner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wore that with like cool glasses that were appropriate to wear at night and a black long skirt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And honestly, kind of like a creeper-esque shoe, like kind of a gothic shoe, creeper, not really gothic, barely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, but kind of, anyway." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wore the hood up the whole night, like the entire dinner, I wore my hood up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I loved it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so comfortable and I felt safe and I felt incognito and it was just so nice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt like I could get away with it because of the specific outfit that I was wearing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just felt okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because normally like wearing a hood in a restaurant is probably like kind of rude, but you know, anyway." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the vibe that it gives off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the way it looks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the way it feels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think hoods are in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think hoods are already kind of in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re only going to become more in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think in more intentional ways, you know, like maybe pieces that are made to be worn out to dinner, for example, but have a hood built in that you can wear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because like a lot of times the hooded clothing that we have is like sweatshirts and hoodies, you know, like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t find a lot of clothing pieces that have a built-in hood that aren t a hoodie, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, maybe a jacket sometimes, but often not sweaters, not shirts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I could see hoods becoming a detail that are included in all sorts of tops and dresses and things like that in unique ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s really cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I d love to see that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also saw a lot of really dramatically high turtlenecks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love a turtleneck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved a turtleneck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even need to dig into it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re such a staple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of the turtlenecks I was seeing on the runway were like dramatic high turtlenecks, like going past the mouth, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, sometimes even covering the nose." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually like this because I don t think it s completely ridiculous and stupid." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s really cold out, it s kind of nice to have a really dramatically high turtleneck to pull over your mouth to keep your face warm." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a completely inconvenient piece." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, it looks cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of has the same feel as a hood." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels sort of incognito." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it is comfortable because, I don t know if this is a toxic thing or a negative thing, but I love sort of covering up sometimes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s nice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like to feel covered up and secure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s kind of a joy and a pleasure sometimes to" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "pull your turtleneck over your mouth and to just sort of have your eyes showing and to feel sort of hidden." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that s a nice feeling and I don t know I love the idea of turtlenecks becoming like a face cover as well as a turtleneck and it makes sense like it s very natural to do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could definitely see this becoming a trend because turtlenecks are always in like they re just" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "such a staple, but then being slightly dramatized is not completely ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the thicker neckline of a dramatic turtleneck, honestly, it looks great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sort of looks like you re wearing a scarf sometimes, which is cute and again, sort of timeless, but then pulling it over your mouth or having it go sort of" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "high up, maybe even kissing your ears or in like the bottom of your chin even, like that s comfortable and honestly flattering on everyone and it can even be convenient during the wintertime because you can pull it up over your mouth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know, I could see that having a moment." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next we have, I don t know how to phrase this, but" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just say vintage-looking patterns and prints." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I say vintage, I m thinking of old floral prints, like roses." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you were to go to a thrift store and look at all the tablecloths, what do those fabrics look like?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might find a tablecloth that has a bunch of fruit on it, like fruit illustrations." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might find one with a bunch of roses on it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a lot of that on the runway." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a lot of prints like that, a lot of floral prints, especially." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, this is actually sort of grandma-esque." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, again, I m not saying that in a mean way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just saying that a lot of our grandmas now have curtains or couches or tablecloths made with those sorts of patterns because that s what was trendy 50, 60 years ago." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s coming back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those patterns are coming back, but now in the form of clothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like taking those old tablecloths and curtains and whatever and turning it into clothes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not quite sure if those patterns were popular for clothes back in the day or just for home." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that I think about it, I associate those patterns with the home" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and not as much with clothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s kind of interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that was a home decor trend back then, and now it s resurfacing as more of a clothing trend, which is interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe it was a clothing trend back then, and I m just uneducated and stupid." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually don t hate these patterns necessarily." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, they are sort of corny in some ways." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they sort of feel corny." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s kind of what I like about them in a way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that they re timeless necessarily." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because they re too specific." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re so specific and they re so loud in a way that I don t think they re timeless." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I appreciate them for what they are and I like them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look at them, I m not like, that s hideous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m kind of happy to see that sort of pattern back, those sort of florals back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because florals are almost always cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this sort of tablecloth-esque floral doesn t feel as cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If anything, modern florals feels cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like modern floral patterns." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to be really not, I don t like it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but retro ones I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if this is going to become a trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might ve just been like something that the fashion designers were into this season, but I, my gut tells me that this is not going to take off." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it totally could." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s unfortunate about it though is that if it does become a trend, I think it will be something that doesn t last very long." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think people will go out and buy pieces that include these sort of patterns and then they ll end up regretting it because it feels stale very quickly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the problem with super distinct, super specific patterns is that they tend to go stale really quickly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those trends tend to come and go real quick because it s so easily to become fatigued by something that s so specific." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas something more vague, like a simple white T-shirt, it s like we re never gonna become fatigued by a simple white T-shirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, it s too basic, it s too simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, I saw a lot of oversized clothing, a lot of baggy, oversized clothing, like baggy pants, big oversized jacket, sleeves are really long, shoulders are too wide for the shoulders, you know, like a lot of oversized baggy pieces." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this I love because" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only do I think it can really look cool just because there s something effortless about it, there s something sort of nonchalant about it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, wow, like there s something kind of cool about it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when somebody s wearing sort of baggy clothes, I don t know, it just it does have a cool feel to it, but also it s fucking comfortable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m stoked." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw this and I was like, great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being baggy and comfy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about feeling like you re walking around in your PJs." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a great trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d much rather that than skin-tight fucking latex, which looks amazing, by the way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks fucking amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime I put on latex, I m like, wow, that looks good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I m like, nothing has ever felt worse." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m always stoked to see this as a trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this has already sort of been a trend but I think it will continue to become even more of a trend and I m excited about that because it s fucking comfortable and it s fun to wear and I love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are all the trends that I saw this fashion week." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the things that I m particularly excited about are the mesh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the mesh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the 1960s silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so excited about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love the monochromatic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love the skinny belts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love the hoods." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So excited about the hoods." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really excited about baggy clothes, as always." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m always excited about baggy clothes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, and the sort of gothic black and white suit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, that s that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my Fashion Week analysis." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really felt like I got a lot off my chest." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, now I think I m good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I can go back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got that all off my chest." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talked about fashion so much that now I m sick of fashion and don t want to think about it for the next six months until there s another Fashion Week." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I do not want to think about clothes ever again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can think about something else." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what yet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s drama." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it is... I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s a new hobby." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll start a new book." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s something else." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now something will take its place." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to find out what it is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, maybe I ll go through another cooking phase because that ended." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a cooking phase and it ended." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll get back into it now that I have all this empty brain space." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you all for listening and I hope that you enjoyed this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether you re into fashion or not, maybe you learned something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you are going to try out a new way of styling yourself in the morning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe this further confirmed that you don t give a fuck about the trends and that you do your own thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, new episodes of Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can listen anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow the Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at emmachamberlain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on YouTube at emmachamberlain, or just emmachamberlain, you can look it up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, my pride and joy, my coffee company." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Earlier today I was drinking our Social Dog blend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in my espresso machine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a beautiful medium roast, but we have all the roasts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have flavored blends." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have it all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have matcha as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically anything you could need for your caffeinated morning routine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or we also have decaf if you like decaf." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also have lattes in a can if you re just somebody who likes to be on the go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever you need, head to ChamberlainCoffee.com, order online, or go on the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got for today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all, and I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you so soon in a few days." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m a victim of?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Misinformation on the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa, do I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A headline from a random non-reputable source that says, turmeric will cure your depression." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m clicking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m ordering turmeric on Amazon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not safe from this side of the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not even like this side of the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The internet is filled with truth, lies, and everything in between." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always a lot of hearsay going on, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just a whole lot of hearsay on the internet, and none of us are safe from it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But today I have a treat for all of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wendy Zuckerman, a science journalist," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for over a decade, reporting on everything from octopus intelligence to superbugs to ozempic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of a topic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wendy has probably read 15 studies about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She started her career as the Australian correspondent for New Scientist magazine and then went to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in 2015, Wendy started to notice health care trends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that were very misinformed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s when she came up with the concept for her podcast, Science Versus, where she basically takes a topic and lays all the science out on the table." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, there s just a whole lot of hearsay all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just gonna answer some questions that I have today because she s sort of like a walking scientific journal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sit back, relax, and enjoy Miss Wendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you a science kid in school?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I was not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, like, you know how, like, you backpedal your life story and you re like, I was meant to be a science journalist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there is, like, I did find, because now I live in Melbourne, like, back in my hometown, and I did find a book that I wrote when I was, like, in year two or something that was, like, how Plarke forms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was like basically what I m doing now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, you know, the little bacteria live on your teeth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, look, I was destined to be, but the truth is I wasn t really that interested in science at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess I was like more of a drama kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so funny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you were not into science, but were you like naturally maybe curious?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not even, I mean, I studied it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So like finished high school and was like, I get, you know, like, I don t want to get a job yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I, you know, I got to go to college and then was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Curing cancer is a thing that seems great in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s why I studied biomedical science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was really bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a nerd in that I want to get good grades, so I was studying really hard, just rote learning stuff, didn t really understand anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In my second year of uni, I had the Bunsen burner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was terrible in lab." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Had the Bunsen burner on too high and melted some equipment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so bad that I almost got kicked out of uni because they were like, you must be incompetent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They didn t believe I could be, so they were like, you must be a pyromaniac." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I managed to convince them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, no, I didn t do it on purpose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I swear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just did it anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I walked out of that meeting and was like, okay, clearly I m not going to be a scientist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then somewhere along the way, I realized that what I love is science stories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so much fun stories of discovery to be found in science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s how we know how the world works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s how we know" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "why you should go on one diet and not the other, whether jumping into ice water makes you feel better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s how we know anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was fun, to talk to scientists." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and explain things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think because I was so bad at it, it helps me explain because it wasn t intuitive when I was starting out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People would say complicated science things and I d be like, I don t understand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please say it again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, that is such a perfect niche for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you are curious about all of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your job is then translating it into human." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a totally different skill to translate it to human, and that s kind of what you do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right, and I think, like, because I had these, like, my parents, who were both academics, funnily enough, so I guess that must have been another thing in the mix, they re always telling me, like, if you don t understand something, just, like, ask more questions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t ever feel stupid for not understanding something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, if someone s trying to teach you something and you don t understand it, you just keep asking questions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think that really helps." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like if a scientist is just using these complicated words." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, by now I m a scientist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been in the game for so long." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can speak the language." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I was starting out, there was just a lot of, okay, so what was that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Any analogies you can help me out with?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s been fun to like marry the two worlds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, your specialty is translating things to human and sort of sorting through all the different sort of scientific misconceptions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because the scientific language is so complex, it can be misunderstood so easily, which is why your voice is so important, but also so exciting for people because it s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand because it s like there s always so many conflicting ideas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ultimately, you know, I think science is relevant for everybody because it s like we all use it to figure out how to have a better life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you Google something, you re going to find 90 different results." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, there s so much garbage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s funny is when I started Science Versus, the world of bullshit online was just starting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I guess that s what I was seeing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, oh, I should make a podcast where we re looking at things in the zeitgeist and really examining them and really reading the scientific papers, because we don t want to be regurgitating more of the misinformation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re down there reading the scientific papers, then translating them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I started Science Versus, I was like, we ve got four seasons in us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once we tackle, yes, climate change exists, yes, vaccines are good for you, and we need to be taking them despite minor risks here and there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once you hit the top, I was like, all right, all right, this show is going to be done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the internet has just kept minting bullshit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like as if it was just coming for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it s never ending." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s never ending." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More and more diets every year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s fasting, there s keto." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Last season I did seed oils." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, now we re not allowed to eat seed oil." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did this come from?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, thank you internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing is, is that humans love, I think humans love, and you ve probably noticed this over the years, we like to find a band-aid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to find a band-aid for things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to find an explanation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And honestly, I m somebody who is somewhat, I d like to say that I m not, but I am..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "somewhat, we all are susceptible to these, you know, big claims." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, we want an answer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When something s wrong with our health, when we know we re not functioning in the way that we used to, like whether like our brain s feeling foggy or like tummy s not feeling right, we re like, what could it be?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What could it be?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, going to doctors, like I m all about the like healthcare system and go to your doctor, but like they can be assholes and they cannot listen to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so at the same time as we re seeing, you know, this sort of rise of misinformation online, there s also a greater appreciation that like, yeah, you go to your doctor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you don t have a GP that you like, they might just be like, it s all in your head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Live with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it really that bad?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like take some medication that has nasty side effects." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it doesn t surprise me that people are then going online, finding like influences, like people that they" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are giving them other solutions and then running with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I totally get the situation that we re in, but it just does mean that I think a lot of vulnerable people who are searching for solutions, who don t have the doctor, the medical care that they need, I think they are getting trapped in this world where they re buying supplements they don t need, going on diets they don t need to go on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s why it feels good to make the show, to be like, well, look, here s what might be going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you don t need to be buying this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe jumping in ice cold water will be helpful, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think like, as I ve been making the show, I ve been way more empathetic to all of us who are just, you know, I think maybe when I was starting, I came in from like a real like on high of like, I ll read the science and tell you what the answer is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now I m like, I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really, really hard out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we re just like trying to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "put good information out there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think is the reason for so much misinformation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I think about it, one reason could be there s a company benefiting from misinformation, possibly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s maybe one source." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or a person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or a person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think it s more, nowadays, influencers and uneducated individuals, or individuals who lack the credential to be spreading information?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "those sort of people who kind of want to provide an answer to, you know, maybe build a following and so people will sort of trust them and like look to them for answers?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you think it s more like corporations that are interested in spreading misinformation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you think it s a combination?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ones that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that really piss me off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know when we look at the big problem of misinformation online." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Generally, I think it s individuals." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Corporations have all, we always know, we know capitalism exists." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re there to spread a message of propaganda." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like people know, people have in their head, if you see a shell ad for like, we re interested in renewables, everyone s head is like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck off now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s like, okay, thank you for your contribution to climate change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We understand the language." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see through maybe a corporation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But with individuals, that s where I see people really getting sucked in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes you have these really, I don t want to name any names, but in the wellness influencers sector, there are some really big names who kind of use, what I see is they use our mistrust of corporations to then twist things on their head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a story that I hear over and over again is like, you can t trust big pharma, you can t even trust science." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all in it for the money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, what you need are natural supplements." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess who sells them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, and you re like, they re like, follow the money, man, follow the money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you can t trust pharma." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, I ll follow the money right to your damn pocket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just this story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, how are people getting sucked into this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, but I know why it s this thing that like, sometimes science calls the guru effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where you have these guru they have this like which you ve talked about on the show this parasocial relationship Yeah, where they feel like, you know, oh, it s my friend I can trust them and then all of a sudden you re buying these supplements when it s like yes unproven Yeah, you are putting money right into their pocket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m shitting on science." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, excuse" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s the thing that s so annoying about it, I think, too, especially, is the blatant and so obvious hypocrisy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, like, right there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, babe, you re... You know, it s unbelievable, but I also... It s such a perfect business model, despite it being evil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s genius, because it s the perfect manipulation, because it s playing into, like, well, I m a small business, and I m, you know, and I m an individual, and I ve healed my issues through this, you know, turmeric supplement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you say, like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "oh, you can cure this, this, and that using this supplement that obviously doesn t work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no science to show that it works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s potentially very, particularly if you re not saying things like you need to make sure you take traditional, conventional medicines too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that really pisses me off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the other thing that I see a lot of, because you were sort of mentioning, is it influencers who maybe are uneducated, but actually I see a lot of people who have MD," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wearing their scrubs out there on TikTok talking bullshit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, that really pisses me off because they re clearly using their healthcare education, like whether it s their RNs or whatever it is, they re using that and they know they re using that to get" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to get people to think, oh, I can trust them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve got their scrubs on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They probably came out from seeing a patient or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re wearing your scrubs or you re like a doctor, you know, you need to be really careful about your facts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so often I m like, because part of the show is like looking for like, what s the Internet saying about a particular thing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll see these like doctors saying stuff and then we fact check it with experts in the field and I m reading the papers and I m like, that s not, that s not real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this is, this is like what we re fighting against." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, if you are about to go on a show like this with an audience, take some responsibility, get your facts right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s play devil s advocate then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re all human, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Including the experts, including the people writing the most advanced, the most modern, the most accurate scientific papers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can we really trust anything for sure, in your opinion?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s my pitch for why I love science and why I think we can trust science." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So at its best, science is just testing all these theories we have, whatever it is, like will this skincare product reduce wrinkles?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will ketamine cure depression?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can say that, or even you can have had an amazing experience, or you and your friends can have had amazing experiences, and you can tell people about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you ll never know, like, oh," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like, does this actually work or was it, you know, I took ketamine, I felt great for a month or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, was it something else that happened that night?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, were you actually moving to, like, was it starting to be a good place in your life and then you felt great?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, so the only way you could actually know, was it the ketamine that caused it and like, that caused this benefit?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s stick with our ketamine example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is to actually do a study where not only do you take like, let s say a hundred people," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and give, who have depression, and give some of them ketamine, you also need to give some of them a placebo." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the placebo effect is so powerful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So powerful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so, and like, I know sometimes people hear that and they re like, oh, it s all in your head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, but no, it should be something that we can all harness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it is wonderful that the placebo effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that we can cure ourselves with our minds to a certain extent for certain things, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it does mean that every clinical trial worth its weight in anything has to have a placebo arm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you tell someone, like, hey, I got a great new drug for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to try it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of a sudden, they feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, who knows if it was the placebo or ketamine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So science is the way that we can do that, that we can find that out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then through other kinds of studies that we can actually test the mechanism of how the hell ketamine might be having these effects." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But having said that, you can t trust a single study." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what we ve learned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s, I think, what we keep getting caught up with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like saying, like, the media, because I am the media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the media will often present a single study and be, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sticking with the ketamine example and be like, ketamine now cures depression or whatever, because there was one study that maybe gave people, you know, ketamine and then checked them the next day and was like, oh my god, their depression scores, which has happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There have been studies like this where they get people with serious, nasty depression, you know, maybe having suicidal thoughts, really bad place, give them ketamine and a bunch of them the next day, they re like, they don t even have depression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there have been studies like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then if you report that, you re like, oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, this is the cure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the cure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have to, and I understand that you cycle yada yada, but just so people understand sort of how science works, then you just got to wait and see what s going to happen with the other studies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to test it in more people with different kinds of depression and ketamine is a perfect example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now we have more data and we can see that it probably helps about 50% of the people who take it and it probably affects on average last a couple of weeks and then many people will go back to normal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s where I think people start to think like, can you trust science?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re like, wait, you just told me ketamine was the cure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it s not the cure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When really it s just like the progression of knowledge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so on Science Versus, and I would just like encourage people as you re looking" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on the internet at studies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, is this just one study?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this a body of research?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how sure can we be that this is going to hold up?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t mean that that first study was crap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just means like, that s what they found once." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they going to find it again?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, I think it s also, it s so important for people to remember, we have to trust while also understanding that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the research never ends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It never ends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We will never have this perfect book filled with all the answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, maybe in, what, 5,000 years, whatever, if everything lasts that long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, I mean, maybe then, maybe then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s exactly, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it goes back to what you were saying about how we want a quick" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "solution, and science is a process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a frustrating, long process, but it s still the best we got, and it s still way better than someone said." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is actually amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a lot of us, we re not grateful enough for the time that we live in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is actually a phenomenal time to be alive where medicine is so advanced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my gosh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re curing shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crazy hearing stories about different diseases that we re just" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wiping everyone out, like a hundred years ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now it s no big deal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s no big deal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or there s a vaccine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one even gets it anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we take it for granted, but also, you know, when there are things that go wrong and there are things that like, we think we understand and then we don t, and then maybe some people, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all human and we re doing the best that we can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we, I think at the end of the day," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, yeah, there s the man who wants money, and then there s, you know, even the individuals who want money, but I think, ultimately, we all want to be happy and healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that that is most of our goals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I don t want to be, like, out here being like, you know, science is like, you know, like, come down from heaven, as, you know, God was like, ah!" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because there are problems with science, and science does have biases." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I was," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was listening back to our episode on the G-spot that we did, which has a very funny history." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels kind of dated now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is anyone talking about the female G-spot?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think people need to be talking about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t know anything about the G-spot, which is crazy because I m the type of person who d be like, okay, find it, to a guy, but then I m like, I actually don t know what it is or where it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also don t know if anyone would feel good if you found it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The story of how the G-spot was born is wild." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, let s do a brief detour and tell us about the G-spot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, and then I ll come right back to how it fits into science comedies sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There was this nurse, Beverly Whipple, who was doing, who I interviewed, um, still alive today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And, um, she, oh gosh, what was this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s, let s put it in the eighties, was doing this study in women who, when they orgasm, they peed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "a little and in some cases peed a lot and like needed like towels and this was very upsetting for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so she was, yeah, and so she s studying these women who at the time, you know, very taboo, very embarrassed about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so she started examining them, which meant this is the time when video is going to be helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she would take their vaginas and like just kind of like insert her finger and then kind of go around like in a clockwise direction and be like, how does this feel?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How does this feel?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How does this feel?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she kept finding that around the, if you imagine like your vagina is like a clock, like the 11am to 1pm was like women would start smiling and get excited." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so then she ends up writing a book about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She goes on the Phil Donahue show and like we found archive from the Phil and it s so funny because it s like so like you know but she s out there talking about like you know the best way to do it is with the woman on top and like missionary she does something like missionary style just doesn t cut it and I m like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, in the 80s, you know, and you hear Phil Donahue go like, oh, you know what, they can t handle it, they re like, we ve never talked like this before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Once it starts blowing up, maybe before she wrote the book, she did this talk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And people were like, you have to name this thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And at one point it was going to be called the Whipple Tickle because her name is Beverly Whipple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then they went for the G spot because G is like Dr. Grafenberg was another doctor who maybe found this spot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Anyway, so it goes on Phil Donahue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It blows up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s all these articles, you know, G spot, G spot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can you find it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s find it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But in the meantime, like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No one knew, like, what was it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, is it nerves?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it a gland?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, what s going on there?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it took until the 90s, like 1998, I think it was, when an Australian urologist, Helen O Connell, was on a totally different track." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was reading, this is where we get back to science can be fucked sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She wasn t really aware of all this G-Spot talk at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "She was studying anatomy, she s a uni student, and her anatomy textbook basically didn t have the clitoris in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, I asked her like it was a blank spot there and she said basically a blank spot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she s like using this anatomy textbook for four years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, it s got a perfectly formed penis in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without it, of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s no doubt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s like too much information about the penis in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But nothing on the clitoris, nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she s getting madder and madder and madder about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then one day she gets given this book by a group of feminists in America." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was like a friend of hers was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you want to see this book?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she s like, yeah, I want to see this book." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it had these beautiful diagrams of like, like the vulva and the vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And these women had like, tried to look at what their vagina, but they had this line in it that was like, we, unfortunately, we didn t have cadavers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So we couldn t like dissect to see like, what s going on in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And Helen O Connell s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have access to cadavers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m at a medical school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We got like cadavers coming out of our ass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So she starts a study in like the nineties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of the first scientific studies actually dissecting like, where is the clitoris?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going on?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s going on in there?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because now I think it s fairly well known that like the tip that you see is like the tip of the iceberg, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s this very large, large, you know, I m really, this is like something that s really good about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like you guys know, we know this, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like even, you know, six years ago when we were looking into the episode, people were like, wow, the universe is so big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But now we know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s got like a Burt Reynolds mustache kind of vibe coming down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But she worked that out in 1998, that paper was published." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it was only then where we could start being like, wait, so what s the G spot to take it all back around?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And she was like, I can t see anything in this 11 to 1 position, but what I can see is this huge clitoris." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, this thing is big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s talking about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So wait, is that actually what it is?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that the clitoris just extends inside?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, for some women." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, because I feel like some people can t" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "orgasm vaginally?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s right yeah yeah so it s probably so it s so now our understanding of the of like the vagina and that and the that whole region and the clitoris is like that the the clitoris the vaginal wall even the urethra which is like where we pee out of they all sort of interact in this very interesting way that like that they I don t know we use this terrible analogy in the podcast where we were like like puppies dancing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love that!" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that is now like the vaginal urethral complex, which is probably what the G-spot was in some of these women." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so there is no spot is bottom line." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But like, why I think it reflects like that science can suck sometimes is like, why wasn t the clitoris in that anatomy textbook?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, like, how did that get missed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the thing is that in the 1900s, you know Grey s Anatomy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Grey s Anatomy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a textbook." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s an anatomy textbook before it was a TV show." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In the 1900s, they had the clitoris." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Late 1940s, clitoris gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We just got fucked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Our entire view of female sexuality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are women s orgasms bigger?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that true?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Have you read into that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We did a whole episode on the orgasm gap." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, this idea, like, if you ask, like, cis men, like, how often do you orgasm when you have sex?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "95% will say yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You ask, like, women." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you want to have a guess?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, let s use my own life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s so mean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry to everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, oh god." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to go too low." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going to say 40." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was going to say 40%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "65%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, that s good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, you want to guess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, so that s straight women." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you want to guess gay women?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it must be way higher." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I feel like that would be like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "95." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it s 89." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "89%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Very good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that tells us that this is largely not a biological thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s not like it s that much harder to get us off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "This is a cultural thing, mostly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you think it is harder for women to orgasm?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, actually?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, so we looked into the science of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Get into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, what is this orgasm?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s causing it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is the female orgasm such a big mystery?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was our exact question." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And there s been these phenomenal studies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I love our sex episodes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re so much fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can really dive deep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just talking science, man." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, no one s talking about it in a day-to-day as much because it is sort of even still sometimes a taboo." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little taboo, yeah, yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For example, they ve gotten people to go into MRIs and orgasm and either masturbating or getting their partners, but MRIs just as fun details." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Have you ever had one?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An MRI, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so it s loud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it s a very weird experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s a weird experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It d be really hard to orgasm in there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So hard?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you kidding me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, do you get any stimulation?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in there alone with a loud sound." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good luck using your imagination." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know they re not playing a video for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re really on your own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so sad and so hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And not only that, on an MRI, you know how you have to be really still?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because movement is the killer of an MRI." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need the image to be crystal clear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so researchers had to design a helmet, which she called, the researcher, Dr. Nan Wise, she called it the Hannibal Lecter happy helmet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ew!" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it ended up like covering the face just so they like wouldn t move so they had to wear this helmet uh-huh then they had to like you know sort themselves out or they had a partner partner do it but because it was so loud the the scientists had to be like relaying information like she described it as like a deranged and like a flight host where she was like she was like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your partner has started orgasming now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your partner has stopped orgasming now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So through studies like this, researchers have discovered that the orgasm is a big brain event." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot going on in your brain, which is how it feels, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s not that surprising." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And from what we can tell, the differences between like the male and female brain under orgasm, very similar, very similar." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s other similarities going on, like when you look at the nerves around the vagina versus the penis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the biology doesn t seem to be able to explain the huge differences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One researcher did suggest that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because the penis is external, there s more to play with, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you could see, is this a sensitive area?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this a sensitive area?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can do that with the vagina, obviously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a little more difficult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was saying she studies people in the lab, and she s like, sometimes we are poking around the vagina, and we ll be like, is this nice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is this nice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they just can t find it on some women." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is kind of like a mess sometimes in there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even with my own vagina, I m like, it s a mess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m like, it s not- A beautiful mess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A beautiful mess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed with it, but I m happy to have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally, she s awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even sometimes with me, I had to learn, even when it s your own vagina, it s not like you know where your clit is immediately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You learn that later in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas if you have a penis, you can see the penis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s right there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no like, oh, wait, where is it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no discovery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, that s right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know some women I know have like maybe a smaller clitoris so like you have to like and it might be like under fold so you have to like actually move things around just then see it like yes it it s very interesting but I mean yeah so so so that tells us that like so maybe there s a little bit of biology there yeah but the fact that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "gay women can orgasm almost 90% of the time tells us that a huge chunk of this orgasm gap is social." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s social." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And actually surveys have been done of college kids, college men, and they know where the clitoris is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re clearly just not" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "finding it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t care, you know, like, or some men, some men, like, oh, no, definitely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s, there s surveys that have been done of women that like, we prioritize male orgasm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s when sex ends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s really sad that like that, that hasn t changed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That hasn t changed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it has not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, and that sucks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember when I was in high school, I was like, the gender gap on many things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, we re so close to getting that, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once we get the wages sorted, equality s like, we got it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We got this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then we re both going to come every time and it s going to be fucking awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now I m like, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s still the primacy of the penis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s still, sex is done when they come." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can see it in the data that women will say, I prioritize them coming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve done that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because they should be like, okay, now it s your turn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s how it should work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s also like, I think a lot of guys too are scared to ask." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s just a sex thing anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s a very hard conversation to have to be like, you re not doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not working." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It ruins the like, it doesn t need to be that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could just be like, let s try it this way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be a fun thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t need to be like you re ragging on them or anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could just be like, hey, let s try this, let s try that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you mind if I touch myself while we re doing this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This could be, yeah, it doesn t need to be negative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think one day," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we ll be alive when the stats go up and the girlies are having their orgasms just as much and it s all, maybe we ll be alive for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wouldn t that be such a treat?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really thought, you know how there was big dick energy a couple of summers ago?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, what about generous lover energy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about excited clit energy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about well-attended-to clitoris energy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are we not doing that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, that s what we need." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could go through the celebrities in our lives and be like, Cardi B, well-attended clitoris energy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can tell." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been phases of my life, if you scroll through my Instagram, you can tell when my clitoris was not well-attended to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can see that shit in my eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then all of a sudden, it s like one day, there s a little glisten back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happened?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you can see it in the eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so we re starting that as a hashtag, you guys." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll take that and run with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just unintentionally answered one of my first questions, which was, let s talk about the orgasm, because that s one of the things that you ve dug into." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You dug into so many things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to dig into like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a few things we need to dig into that I know that you re like, you ve done the dirty work, you ve done the research, you ve whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of them is very relevant to me because I was addicted for many years vaping." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s have the vaping conversation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How is your journey going, by the way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happened to me was I made an episode, a podcast episode, being like, I m quitting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I woke up one day and I was like, I m quitting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I quit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I went through a rough patch and I was like, there s no fucking way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because nicotine withdrawals are tough and it was like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t, I need this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my pacifier, I need this back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then, a month ago, I quit again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve gone a month." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My goal was, okay, I m gonna quit by the time I m like 25." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you ultimately have to quit when you get pregnant, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, I don t want to deal with..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "pregnancy and having to quit nicotine, which is so emotional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You gotta cut down on your caffeine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s already a bunch of shit to do, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Too many stimulants that I love will have to exit my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Alcohol as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really can t handle all this quitting at once." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To not have a glass of wine on a Friday, wow, that s rough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, tell me everything about vaping because I ll tell you what my, I always had excuses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you re addicted to something, you always have excuses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not even like, there s no tar with the vape." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no tar." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing combustible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing burning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember somebody told me once, actually, I think it was a guy I dated for a month." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was telling me, because he was super addicted to the vape, too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he s like, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the vegetable glycerin, the base of it," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said something about it being water-soluble, so it won t stick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s vegan, it s okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, he s like, it s actually really organic, so it s like chia seed vibes, so it s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s super kale energy, it s super air one coated, they ll start selling it at Air One soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s organic bears." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but also, oh my god, wait, this is, I m getting ahead of myself, but I m so excited, because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was basically saying, like, oh, so it s safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It won t stick to anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just exhale it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also something that a conclusion I came to was, hold on a minute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are all these vapes that are supposed to help you quit nicotine, and they re supposed to be completely safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they re quite literally the exact same ingredients." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only difference is there s no nicotine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, I get that that then helps you sort of like if your oral fixation is what you re the most sort of drawn to more than even the nicotine itself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, for me, it was always nicotine as a stimulant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think it helps me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they re marketing the" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is alternative vapes with no nicotine as being a healthy alternative, and it s like, this is still you inhaling something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what s the difference there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s flavors involved here, and I actually tried one of those once, and I will not say the name, it made my lungs feel very weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did not, like it made me feel like heavy, and I was like, this I don t like, and I immediately stopped, because I was like, I do not like this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, anyway, so all of this rambling to say," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going on?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going on with the vape, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, cause honestly, if somebody were to tell me, it s actually totally fine, I d be like, amazing, I m gonna fucking vape then." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would literally, if someone told me right now, okay, it s totally safe, I d be like, peace out, I would literally wait, I would have my babies, so that, you know, cause I, whatever, and then I would then vape for the remainder of my life, so please tell me everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, okay, unfortunately I m not gonna tell you that they re totally safe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think a lot of the like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "confusion out there is because the vast majority of data out there shows that vaping is safer than smoking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that is because smoking cigarettes is so bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We sort of missed out on how bad it was because already by the time we were sort of coming into our own, like a lot, there d been all these like ad campaigns of like how bad it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, we ve just sort of forgotten." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But one academic told me that like cigarette smoking, it s kind of like, you know, it s a bit of a cartoon example, but it s kind of the equivalent of like putting your mouth over like a car." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "like exhaust fumes and just being like, you know, like the amount of cancers that it caught, I think it s like one in three deaths from cancer in the US can be directly caused by smoking, like directly contributed to smoking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s crazy how bad, like it s crazy that it s legal, but it s so bad for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so to say that something is safer than smoking is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like saying like, you know, like being, you know, smoking is being like hit by a truck and then like dragged for 10 miles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, vaping is like being hit by a Jeep, you know, and you re not dragged, but like, so, so that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think like in the UK, for example, there s this big push to like use e-cigarettes to quit smoking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because that is still considered safer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The vast majority of studies, although I will say there was a study that came out recently that kind of suggests otherwise, but I think going back to our point of you look at the data, that s what it suggests." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so given that, so if you re currently smoking cigarettes and want a way to quit and think vaping might help you, I think the data suggests that s a good idea." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But vaping compared to nothing," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "compared to air beautiful beautiful yes this is where we re gonna this is where the french is gonna get into trouble yes no i i need this i need to hear this continue yeah so for a long time and i almost feel like it was probably like you know really in the last like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "10 years or whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So first there was just like all this talk, it s safe, it s safe, it s safe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I feel like that s when a bunch of people started taking it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the data starts coming out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even though there were always academics that were like, look, it s probably not great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you are still breathing crap into your lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime you re inhaling anything that s not clean air, it s probably bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For example, we talked to this researcher who had interviewed something like 3,000 kids, late teens, early 20s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And found that if you vaped, you were way more likely to have symptoms like coughing and wheezing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Two thirds of the people in their sample had symptoms like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the researcher was like, this is not normal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like a 19 year old wheezing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, that s not, that s not good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a bad vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a bad vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like that, that s not doing good things to your lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like, and it s sort of, you know, you can deal with coughing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wheezing, you know, but it s sort of thought that these problems that it s causing to your lungs are like the canary in the coal mine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like if you keep vaping, you keep, it suggests that something s going on and your lungs are having trouble." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it kind of, if you keep vaping, keep bringing that stuff in, it doesn t get better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we have data on the flavors, for example." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The weird thing with the flavors is that a lot of them have been approved for safety for eating." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s wild is that that s where most of the flavors come from." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like cinnamaldehyde is the chemical they use for cinnamon vapes, which I don t think is a very popular flavor." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, horrible flavor." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ew, who s smoking that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Y all are weird for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, yeah, ew." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll tell you, I haven t smoked that one, so we re good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Continue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s how they started getting the flavors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were like, oh, we already know like it gives whatever this chemical gives like a cherry, like to your cherry ripes or whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what if you just inhaled it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And no one had really done the studies for inhalation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were just like, it s safe to eat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we know that like our stomach has acids, like our stomach evolved" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to eat weird, potentially dangerous shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re eating berries and you re like, this wasn t great, but just get it out, you ll be fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But your lungs weren t designed to have evolved for that sort of industrial-style clean." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we already have examples where stuff that has been safe to eat" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we know is not good for your lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the example scientists like to use is diacetyl, which is like a buttery flavor that I don t, it shouldn t be put in vapes because we know it s really harmful, but it s put on popcorn." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gives like the buttery taste of popcorn as far as we know, really safe, like very yummy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then in a popcorn factory a couple of decades ago," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is how scientists were like desperate to like, do we know anything about its inhalation?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So popcorn factory where they re making their diacetyls going into the popcorn, but there was an accident and a bunch of people inhaled a ton of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it, and a lot of them, their lungs just like fucked up a couple needed like lung transplants as a result." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s like the, and it s called popcorn lung, which maybe you ve heard of." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which sort of sounds like, oh, your lungs turning into popcorns, but it s actually from this popcorn factory." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was like the first example where, you know, we know that diacetyl is bad for your lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there have been examples of people who have inhaled a diacetyl in vapes and it hasn t been good for their lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I mean just generally and then the propylene glycol which is the stuff that makes it like fog that makes it like it s like a little fog machine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is actually the same chemical that s in theater smoke machines." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh god." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The amount of years that I inhaled that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is so bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, continue, continue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me the truth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it s like fascinating from like a chemical perspective that you re like, oh, that stage like fog machine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh my God, I m in like a fucking Halloween haunted house in my lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My lungs literally for years looked like a Halloween haunted house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For better or for worse." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you, I was having fun blowing my O s, but I was really like..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it can t be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or like you re out at a club or whatever and they re putting the pot, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a rave in my lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that s right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s evidence that s also not great for your lungs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they even have studies from theater workers who have had to inhale a ton of this stuff and things like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we know all these, they re not good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s also some upcoming research into nicotine itself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there s been a debate for a long time about whether nicotine is even that bad for you because it s addicting and it s the reason, as you well know, that you want to keep coming back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in that way it s bad because it s bringing along the flavors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being addicted to anything s not good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, yeah, I mean, I guess it s a philosophical debate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, it s funny you say that because that was something that I did research on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always would do research and cherry pick the studies or things that I would look at to allow me to continue vaping." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I would literally cherry pick the articles." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fully know what I was doing, but I would be like, I read one article once that nicotine as a chemical, it s the same as caffeine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be a little bit more addicting, but when it comes to like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s risks, I guess?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was equal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now there s this new, that was kind of how I had understood it as well, and then when we did this episode and dove in, that was like kind of for a long time, and because it s so hard to study, because most of our nicotine research comes from smokers," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you re like, how are you supposed to know what caused the damage?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like the nicotine in the tobacco or everything else that you re smoking?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you burn the tobacco." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so now they re doing research and it s really at its early stages." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what we ve known for a while is that smokers have a high risk of getting depression." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for a long time, there was this question of correlation causation, which is basically this question of what did the smoking" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "cause the depression, were these people already likely to become depressed?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or are depressive people less likely to care about their well-being, therefore smoke?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Therefore smoke or smoke to already help with the symptoms of depression." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just wasn t clear whether nicotine was... Then they started to see the same pattern with vapors." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So vapors were more likely to get depression." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, you have the same, like, what was going on." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now, to answer that question, science often uses, like, rodent studies, basically, to try and find, like, a mechanism, like, how on earth could nicotine, like, what do we know about nicotine in the brain?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or in the rat brain?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, how could it cause depression?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does that even make sense?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, this early research and the problem is it s in rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not in humans." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what they re finding is that like, there are some areas in the brain, like the reward center that like makes things feel good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, when you smell a flower and you re like, that was nice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "like nicotine does seem to be affecting the reward center in these rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That makes sense." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That makes sense." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes sense." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there is this question that maybe for some people it s sort of like dampening your enjoyment is sort of the theory, which we know is a symptom of depression is that like things that used to give you joy or that perhaps give other people joy don t, you re like, whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that, you know, so that s kind of where the research is at, which is like, we re seeing this trend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see it in the rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yeah, we ll have to wait and see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t want to oversell it that nicotine s going to cause everyone s depression, because that s clearly not the case." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we re just seeing that pattern." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s just another reason, I think, if people want to reduce consumption." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The few times I ve quit, insane depression." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a very anxious person anyway." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think anytime anything changes, my anxiety is just the first thing to react, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But horrible anxiety, like the worst." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was really bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, no, it was really bad and like mood swings and like all these issues and then you know now I m My nicotine consumption if you were to like look at how much I m consuming now versus when I was using the bit It s much less and I do feel much more emotionally stable" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my parents noticed that too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, oh my God, when you re not... I always get so mad at my mom, because she d be like, I swear to God, the vape makes you a wreck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes you a wreck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been vaping since I was 16." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bitch." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me being so mean to my mom, and it s because I m vaping?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m vaping." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m being rude to her because I m so strong on this shit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you saying?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you saying?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shut up, bitch." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so emotionally stable right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it definitely made me, or I noticed that sort of, I don t know, I think there is an emotional impact." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Overall, the consensus is we don t actually know that much about vaping, but we know that we shouldn t be doing it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All the signs are pointing to if you cannot do it, that s great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the less that you do it, the better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have you done anything about alcohol?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there any way to drink alcohol?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ve seen so many contradicting things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been the study, a glass of red wine every night, it doesn t hurt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I ve also seen like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tequila with lemon, totally healthy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually totally fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my mom was like, my mom texted me that once and was like, oh my God, see, this is what you order." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tequila soda with lime or lemon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, yay!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, you know, only on the weekends." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, if you only have it a few times a week, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you save it for special occasions, it s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your thoughts on drinking?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The alcohol episode was one that actually made me change my habits and made me change the way I drink." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s actually kind of like a really interesting science story of why we thought alcohol was good for your heart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Basically, researchers like did these studies where they got, you know, it s like what if someone were like, how would you run a study to find out whether alcohol was good for your heart?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, we get 10,000 people, whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ask like, how much alcohol do you drink?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you follow them for a bit of time and you see who s hot." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Looks the best." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, alcohol looks the best." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what they kept finding is that the people who drank alcohol seemed to have better hearts than people who drank no alcohol whatsoever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so they were like, this is amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think maybe the first studies were to do with wine, but then later studies came out about all the alcohols and they were like, oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they start telling" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Antioxidants, antioxidants must be good for your heart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we have a mechanism." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re in." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then some researchers were like, wait a second, wait a second." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like who are these people who aren t drinking any alcohol at all?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this was like pre the non-alcohol era, you know, and you might think it would be, and I would have still thought like, no, like maybe it s like my body is a temple, super healthy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it turned out that the group of people who weren t drinking any alcohol at all were actually people who were sick." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and their doctors had said, you need to stop drinking alcohol." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then there was this big battle in science, like maybe it s a little bit good for you, even if you, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now I think that the thinking is it s not really that good for your heart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was just this like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This like, you know, science progresses, science progresses." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, but what we do know is that it is a carcinogen and it does increase your risk of cancer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know it was a carcinogen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is crazy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I should have known that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The breakdown products of alcohol can like muck up your DNA and like, and it causes, and that is what, because like when you get older, people you love start getting cancer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, uh, and that s what made me really cut down my drinking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, cause we do so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To prevent cancer like, you know, yeah, like I ll go do exercise." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll do this I ll do that and then I was like, but I was still drinking a ton Totally, and I m like, oh, what am I doing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t need to be drinking a ton." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes Yeah, I d also like I mean at least for me it makes me anxious and depressed like it fucks with my brain Yeah, like when I m you know, you want to create like a crazy I did an episode on numb on hangovers or" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was on my list." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think the most surprising episode we ve done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think is the cause of hangovers?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My guess would be that your liver is processing" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no idea, by the way, so this is so random, so this is my guess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We did like voxies on the street, like vox pops, and everyone had the same answer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It did not involve the liver." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Dehydration!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re kidding." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, no, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s what I think a lot of listeners, that s what I thought it was, dehydration." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the thinking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what everyone thinks, is that it s being dehydrated." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re being dehydrated, yeah, because alcohol, there s this story that alcohol is a diuretic, it makes you pee." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and then you lose a lot of water and you become dehydrated." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But actually, anyone who has had a hangover knows about or thought they knew about this dehydration thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I definitely have had a terrible hangover and I m like, before we did the study, and I m like, I gotta drink water, I gotta drink water, and I am peeing" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "water." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Clearly my body is rehydrated and I still have a terrible hangover." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the current thinking is that it s actually caused when your body breaks down alcohol, it produces like the breakdown products are kind of like little toxics, like just a little bit toxic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it creates this inflammatory response" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because your body has this immune system where it s like, what s all these toxins doing in my body?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the immune system comes, and it starts to be like, get rid of all these toxins, creates inflammation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s what s thought to cause the terrible headaches, the real hangover effects where you re just like, ugh, brain fog, stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s inflammation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That makes complete sense." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, wait." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is completely, this last topic that I need, because this is so me, I cannot, we cannot skip this one." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gossiping." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need the science on gossip." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it, am I allowed, I m such a gossiper." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am, but I believe that it s healthy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s my belief." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, to an extent, I think that it s healthy when it s done" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "responsibly, like when it s not just like when it s not harmful hat the other day, like it s just mean and bitchy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s when it s like for the sake of." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "analysis." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s discuss gossip." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of people will say gossip is all bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like that s a negative thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing redeeming there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then some people will be like, no, this is how we connect as human beings." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should gossip all the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think that that s probably where the science lands." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the ruling on gossip?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that kind of is where the science lands." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we know that gossip can be harmful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "particularly in high school, middle school, we ve all been there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be really nasty, it can ostracize, if you re the target of gossip, it can increase your risk of mental health issues." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s also a lot of studies done in the workplace, which I hadn t thought of as a gossip-mongery place, but of course it is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Studies that show that gossipy workplaces, people tend to be" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "less creative, less happy, you know, and we ve all been there as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is, it s like stifling to be in a gossipy workplace." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then the positives." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So interestingly, there was this really fun study that got people, a Spanish study, that got people to, they were scanning their brains, I think it was an EEG, and gave them either statements that were gossip or statements that were just like trivia." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they started a sentence that was like, the highest mountain in Germany is blah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they said, how interested are you in this answer?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people would answer whatever, very interested, not interested at all." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then for the gossip ones, I think there was one that was like, who did Barack Obama have an affair with?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people were like, you know, not interested." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t, that s not me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not interested in that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then he went back to them like a week later and was like, so do you remember what the highest mountain in Germany is?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People tended to be like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, do you remember the answer to the Obama question, which was Beyonce?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is this huge rumor in Europe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we know that we remember this content." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, when he looked back at the brain data, he could see that people s brains sort of lit up." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the brains were giving them away." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The brains were more excited about the gossip too." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though people said, like, I don t care about that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re morally like, I don t care about that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then they re like Googling it the second they re out of their MRIs." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is something about gossip that we love." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is a bonding component to it, without a doubt." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you meet new friends, you know, who know your other, it s like a connector." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you can feel that love in the room when you got some great story about a friend." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It may not be bitchy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there is like a bonding component." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think like where our episode landed, and maybe it s where the sides landed, is like, if you could gossip in a way that isn t going to hurt someone else," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you could be a little careful with how you tell a story, then you could get the benefits of gossiping without the detriment." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, there was this fun study that I think tracked middle schoolers and that said that if someone is saying really negative gossip, which really only happens in middle school, I feel like, when you grow up, you abandon those friends pretty quickly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the next person in line, say someone was like, oh my gosh, Jeremy s pants today look really stupid." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the next person said, oh, I actually think the pants look cool." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was the fizzle." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The gossip ended." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You needed that second person to be like, oh yeah, him and his stupid pants." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it was like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can be like the savior of the gossip." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If someone s just saying something mean, if you like punch it down, it s like, oh, not a good story." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what the study found." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you could be the savior of the gossip." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you could not." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I believe in like, I do believe, though, that for the for the for somebody who is like me, for example, who loves gossip like I do, although I m so, so protected about it, like I have like" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "four people in my life, maybe five that I gossiped with." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just about to ask you what s the best bit of gossip you ve heard recently." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so good about, I ll share some gossip with you after, I ll come up with something." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s like, I never share it on the internet." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of people go on their podcast and are like, let s gossip." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, no, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like the worst thing you could do for society." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so, you know, it s like a handful of people, only when I know that it will never get back to the person, like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s fine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then also, it s not all I but I have noticed that even though I m somebody who s prone to gossip, enjoys gossip, loves gossip, believes in gossip, thinks it s crucial for society, I also know that you have to, it can be negative even for the person who loves it and who wants to discuss it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it s" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "if it s not done right, like you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t wanna be like getting enjoyment off other people s pain as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t think." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be fair." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and that s like, that s like not a good side to the soul." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess you re not really gonna feel great after just, you gotta, yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It has to be in good faith." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you have to like, if you re gonna be shitting on someone," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "they have to have shit first." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They need to have done something genuinely bad." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t be that on a t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, that s, okay, that s so easy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna be shitting on someone." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m gonna now, if you guys make anybody out there merch companies, I m gonna be making that, so it ll be really extensive, but I ll make sure, just because, yeah, but get ready." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just remembered another fun fact from that episode, which is that men gossip basically as much as women do." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whoa." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they ve done these studies where they like put microphones on people and then switch them like on and off." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is why we love science." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can objectively measure this stuff." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At different times." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they find that men do it too." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the definition of gossip is, it s a very loose one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just talking about someone when they re not there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not necessarily mean, but men, women, we all do it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I refuse" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to date a guy who will not gossip with me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m actually not kidding, that is a deal breaker." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, if there s... Because if they re going to be annoying about it, like... No, I m like, if I m like, if I want to be like, oh, like this, you know, this girl was like so rude to me today and she did this and blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need, I refuse" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to go on a second date with a man who, I don t really go on dates, it s not very Gen Z, but anyway, I refuse to entertain somebody who will not be like, wait, what was she wearing?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need a guy who will." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They gotta have fun with it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I need a guy who will meet me there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s true, it s not as stereotypically, it s a woman thing, but if you allow" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone gossips." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s everyone." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s everyone." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really not a girl thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s not." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, yeah, I think maybe some of the studies show that like sometimes women do mean a gossip on it, but everyone s talking about everyone else." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Otherwise, what are you going to talk about?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, what else is there to talk about?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What else is there?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think about that sometimes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, yeah, you can talk about art." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can talk about yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can talk about music." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can talk about, you know," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can talk about philosophy, but when you, okay, but that s like, oh, okay, great." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now you have an hour used up." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What else is there?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now there s gossip." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sorry, that s when the gossip comes in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so that s great." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now I know that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can feel good about it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Science approves of your gossiping." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so I can t vape, but I can have a glass of wine every once in a while, and I can fucking gossip." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So life is good, and you know what?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can orgasm." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I was going to say, and I can orgasm." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every fucking time!" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes!" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just, as long as, no, you just need, oh my god." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that, and I should, there are other ways to enjoy sex and being with each other." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t, not so much pressure on the orgasm." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I, I m sorry, but." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If they re doing it, you can do it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I, I ve, as, like, you know, like, there s a phase, I think, in every young woman s life where it s like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Damn, it s not happening, huh?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say, yeah, it took mid-20s before I was even horny." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, really?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coming on the show, I was like, oh, what is something that I think is an important message that we don t talk about enough?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there s so much pressure, particularly in high school, maybe in college too, about like, oh, she s frigid." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s frigid." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I was so frigid." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you frigid or were you just not horny?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I wasn t." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, I wasn t... I don t think I was... It was not possible for me because you can t mentally get there unless you feel safe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I remember sitting around, when I lived in a share house in Sydney with amazing three other women, and we were sitting around, I guess I would have been in my mid-twenties then, and they were all talking about the first time they masturbated." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of them was like, I never remember a time I didn t masturbate." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were like, I kind of remember rubbing up against stuff when I was three years old." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I didn t even think about it as masturbate." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another one said when I was 13." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when I was like, I was like going down in there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they turned to me and I was like, um, I haven t done it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I so get it because I didn t until I, okay, wait, no, for me, I, I came from, like, my first orgasm was from a guy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like doing it for me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my first boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, me too." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had never, I didn t even know." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was crazy." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s right." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And no one s like talking to you about it." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one s like giving you advice." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And unlike with guys, it s not like right out there." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to have like an urge from within." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just like didn t have that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know what you re missing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Until my mid twenties." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so like, I really wish the conversation, instead of it being like," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "frigid or whatever, or whatever fucking words they re using to like judge women and girls who don t want to have sex." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just like, do you want sex right now?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to want sex right now." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like you re 13, you re 16, you re 19." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you re just not horny." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like, there s absolutely nothing wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so like, what happened when I was 25?" }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, fucking awesome." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, I m so of that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because it s not, it s not even good when you re younger anyway." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not that, it s not, okay, so like, for example, it s always like, oh, like, have sex, like, you know, you want to, like, have sex as soon as you can." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was, like, the belief when you re, you know, in high school or whatever." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, have sex now so that you can get good at it and then it, whatever." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, you re so, no, if you, that s just not how it works." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re not feeling horny, you don t need to do anything." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I could talk to you all day." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to come on again." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so much fun." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could go down every... We just scratched the surface today." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was amazing." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much for having me." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for coming on." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so much fun." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best ever." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you actually have to come on again." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love that." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "7", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,832
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m an anxious girl." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I ve gone through phases throughout my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, ages 3 to 10, I was very anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had really bad separation anxiety from my parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had anxious emotional attachments to inanimate objects like stuffed animals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was constantly worried about my safety and well-being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was very anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the anxiety sort of lessened and from ages like 10 to maybe 19, I struggled more with depression." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the depression lessened and the anxiety came back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for the last few years, ages probably 19 to today, I ve been in an anxious phase of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m hoping that maybe one day I ll have a phase where I don t struggle with either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, wouldn t that be gorgeous?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Manifesting that for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve been in an anxious phase for the last few years and I ve gone through many phases with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had this phase where my anxiety would manifest in sort of an obsessive way, like I would obsess over something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, for example, I would obsess over whether or not someone was mad at me, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that would cause me to have a complete meltdown." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And until I could confirm that they weren t mad at me, I d be in a state of not panic, but extreme agitation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t say I was panicking about it," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I later discovered what panicking felt like and it was very different, but it was very upsetting for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I d find something to obsess over, I would experience a lot of anxiety and agitation about it, and then eventually I d resolve it in one way or another, you know, if I thought somebody was mad at me I d" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "figure out whether or not they re mad at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I was worried about somebody s well-being, I would contact them to resolve it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every once in a while, if I couldn t resolve the obsession, whatever my brain was obsessing over, quick enough, I would freak myself out to the point of a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, I d be able to resolve it quickly and my brain would just move on to the next thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was in this constant state of finding something to obsess over that would freak me out until I could resolve it or it would freak me out until I get a panic attack and then eventually resolve it post panic attack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, so that was one phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then more recently, I have been struggling more with dissociating in panic attacks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a whole episode about dissociating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check that out if you want to hear my experience with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that horrible feeling and type of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is horrific." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s awful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But go listen to that if you want to hear me talk more about that in detail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The phase of anxiety that I m in now is a combination of two things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, dissociating, this horrible, anxious feeling that makes you feel like you re in an eerie dream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but you re in reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of like your brain detaching itself from reality to protect itself in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of what it feels like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m not a doctor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know I m not a doctor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one thinks I m a doctor, but that s my opinion on how it feels." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like when my brain s overwhelmed, it just detaches and makes me feel numb and spaced out, and it s a horrible feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like underselling it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it feels far worse than I m describing it as." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, the way I m describing it kind of sounds amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, what a nice relief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, it doesn t feel like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels scary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you feel detached from reality in a way that s scary, not in a way that s relaxing or comforting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like meditating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like everything around you suddenly feels unfamiliar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very, very, very unusual feeling, and I would not recommend it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not, no one s choosing to dissociate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, so I m going through a phase of anxiety where I m dissociating, but then I m also very paranoid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I find myself very afraid a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I find myself in these moments of terror, whether I m worried about my health or my safety, or I m worried about the health and safety of my loved ones or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just been experiencing a lot of fear about various things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I m not dissociating, I m most likely really scared of something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know this sounds really sad and horrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sucks, but it s also just life as an anxious person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re an anxious person, you know what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just, it s constantly managing these challenging feelings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does go through phases." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My most recent phase has been pretty bad, but also I have phases where I m not anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like that doesn t happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s very rare, but yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been in a really hairy phase with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for the last few months and I feel like I m coming out the other side." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to talk about how I ve managed this most recent phase of anxiety because it s sort of complex and compounded and it s been really hard for me to manage it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this most recent phase of anxiety has been probably the worst I ve ever had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, well, it s hard to say it s the worst, but it s been the hardest to shake, you know, because it s not just one thing that I m managing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a few different things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just dissociating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just obsessing over something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just living in fear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s dissociating and living in fear, both at once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve gone through phases in the past where I ve just dissociated, or I ve just lived in fear, or I ve just obsessed over things, but now I have two at once, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the anxiety is a lot harder to resolve, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I wanted to talk about how I ve sort of gotten through this most recent horrific phase and I think the reason why I m coming out the other side of it and I m starting to feel a lot better is because I ve figured out ways to manage it myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now again, I m not a doctor, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the fuck I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are just things that have worked for me and maybe they ll work for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if nothing more, you don t need to try any of these things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, they re all beneficial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, anyone can try them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all just helpful practices for day to day life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if nothing else, I hope that this can comfort those of you who have anxiety as well and remind you that you re not the only one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The funny thing about anxiety is that even though it s very common and so many people have anxiety, panic disorder," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be really easy to feel like you re the only one who has ever felt these horrific feelings because anxiety and panic disorder, all of that feels so extreme and so huge in the mind of an anxious person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can feel like, I am the only one that s ever experienced this and something s really wrong with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, something s really wrong with me and I m unsafe, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m unsafe because I m the only one that s feeling this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m going to the doctor and the doctor doesn t, and you know, my therapist, they don t, they don t get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They think I have something, one tenth of the strength of what I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not diagnosing me properly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s a part of having an anxious brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you have an anxious brain, you don t believe that anyone else gets it because that s how the anxious mind works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go to the worst case scenario." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think you re the only one experiencing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That conclusion goes hand in hand with having anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like so horrible because that feeling like, oh, I m all alone in this makes the anxiety worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let me reassure you that you are not alone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And many other people get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here is how I ve been managing my really bad anxiety over the last few months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, I ve been really leaning on the basic, obvious anxiety life hacks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first started struggling with anxiety, I leaned on my mom because my mom also has horrible anxiety, really bad panic attacks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I basically got it all from her, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, shout out to my mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she would always tell me, Emma, take deep breaths, pinch yourself, eat sour candy, name three objects that you can see" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "list three sounds that you can hear, move three body parts, like, all these little life hacks that, you know, you can find with a quick Google search." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was always like, but mommy, yes, I call my mom mommy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is way worse than that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is, hello?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m fucking freaking out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want me to take a deep breath?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to be so against these generic anxiety hacks, but they work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t fix the problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in a pinch, they work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to get anxious when I m driving because, you know, when you re driving, you want to be sharp mentally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I start dissociating while I m driving or I start to think that I m having a panic attack while I m driving and I might start hyperventilating a little bit, it can easily cause a spiral because I can t always pull over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I might be on the freeway in traffic in Los Angeles and I can t just" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "pull off to the side of the road, like I can t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a pinch like that, I m taking deep breaths." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m taking a long breath in, holding my breath for five seconds, breathing out, repeating that over and over and over and over again until eventually I calm down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also found that when I m dissociating and I m feeling really spaced out and really scared, it can be really helpful to pinch myself, just lightly, not hard, just until I can feel a little pinch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might pinch myself on the wrist or on the leg, and that sharp pinch feeling, for whatever reason, can sometimes help me calm down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m feeling overwhelmed in a crowded place, like let s say I m at an event and I m starting to feel really anxious," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll take a minute in the corner to myself, not in a weird way, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I pull it off and make it look like I m just chilling out and I quickly, to myself, in my head, will name three things that I can hear, three objects that I can see, and I ll move three body parts, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll be like, oh, I see a woman in a beautiful dress and I see a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "martini glass and I see a chic pair of glasses, like someone s wearing a chic pair of glasses, and then I ll think to myself, okay, I can hear people s voices." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can hear this certain person s voice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can hear this song playing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can hear the sound of people s shoes hitting the ground as they walk around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ll move three body parts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might move my fingers really quick, move my toes really quick, and then move my arm a little bit, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sounds stupid, but there s something about focusing on that little assignment that really helps." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just helps put you back into the present moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times with anxiety, you re spiraling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are all hacks that you can find online, but a lot of us overlook them when we re super anxious and we re in a really, really dark headspace because we re like, there s no way that these hacks are gonna work when it s this serious, when it feels this serious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in a pinch, they really work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And another thing I ll do, if I have a little bit more time, is I ll find a few minutes, literally under five minutes, to do a little meditation, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just a little meditation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say I was really anxious when I was driving, and I was driving to a doctor s appointment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I parked the car, I set a timer for like three minutes, and I just let myself close my eyes and take deep breaths for five minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Five minutes is generous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I ll do it for 60 seconds, but just giving myself that little moment can really be helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll even feel like I m about to have a panic attack at home, in the safety of my own home, just on a busy day when I have a lot of stuff going on, and I ll have to sit myself down and give myself that moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can even do this on the toilet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done this on the toilet many times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, at like an event or a party or something, go sit on the fucking toilet and take deep breaths and close your eyes and set a timer for a minute, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I had a groundbreaking new hack to give you, but the basic stuff that you can find on Google is very helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my point of telling you this is that we just shouldn t underestimate these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say they re more of a band-aid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re not going to help you over the course of six months get your anxiety down to lower levels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, yes, maybe, but it s more like in the moment hacks, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things to do in the moment when you re in a pinch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing I ve been really working on is figuring out who and what helps me during my worst moments and who and what harms me during my worst moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are people and things that, on a normal day, make my life better, enhance my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in an anxious moment, do not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and there are people and things that are really beneficial and life-enhancing for me on a day-to-day basis, for sure, but when I m anxious, really help me more than usual." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pay attention to how people make you feel when you re in an anxious state of mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are certain people in my life that I call when I m anxious because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they help me in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there are some people that I avoid when I m anxious because they inevitably make it worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they are people that I love and adore, but their energy does not help with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether they re also anxious people or they tend to be maybe more dramatic or more extreme, the types of conversations that I have with those people can make my anxiety worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, there are people who have a calming effect on you, and it s a matter of taking mental note of who makes you feel like what in challenging moments, and then applying that when you re having a rough moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like you have to cut these people out who maybe can trigger anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just have to be careful about when you talk to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they re not the people you call to help you calm down when you re actually having a panic attack, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of what I m saying here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s knowing who you can lean on in the darkest moment and who you maybe shouldn t call." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s the same thing with actions, things that you do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m on the verge of a panic attack or I m having a panic attack, I can t go and work out because I ll convince myself that I can t breathe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll convince myself I m going to pass out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t go do a workout, but I can go for a walk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both things are physical, but one makes it way worse and one makes it better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I stopped doing workouts during this phase of anxiety?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I just know that I have to go to the gym when I m in a better head space." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I know when I can and can t go to the gym." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes going out and being social really helps me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a distraction from my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helps me feel more grounded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Conversation with other people can help you get out of your head, can kind of stop the spiral in your brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s too overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes, lying in bed makes me spiral more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m too focused on my current headspace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes, exactly what I need is to lay in bed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes, listening to calming music is really helpful for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listening to really loud, fun music is what helps me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes diving into work really helps distract me and it makes me feel in control and it alleviates anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I can t work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sends me into a spiral." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes going on the internet is helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if I watch some sort of educational YouTube video or podcast or I m on Pinterest and I m making a fun mood board, sometimes that s really helpful for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that leads me to doom scrolling on" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "various platforms, and I end up down a rabbit hole that I didn t want to be down, and now my anxiety is 50 times worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish that there was a formula." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you re really anxious, go for a walk, and then read two chapters of a book, and then eat a snack, and then take a nap, and then you ll be better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wish there was a formula, but it is very personal to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the last few months, I ve really started to figure out what makes my anxiety worse and what makes my anxiety better intuitively." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it requires a lot of self-evaluation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to ask yourself constantly, when you re in your worst, most anxious moments, is what I m doing right now in this current moment helping me or making it worse?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also have had to pay attention to what has made me feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe I ve called someone up on the phone in a really bad headspace, and by the end of the phone call, I felt normal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well, I need to take note of that because I need to start calling that person more when I m anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, oh, you know, getting to work and distracting myself with" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "tasks, you know, that actually really helped me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s figuring out what works for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is no formula." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just no formula." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But really paying attention to what makes it worse and what makes it better is very helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The next thing I ve been working on is figuring out what specific things are going on in my life that trigger my anxiety the most, and then hopefully resolve them through research and acceptance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are a few types of triggers that I ve noticed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New fears unlocked can really trigger anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like an example of that would be flying on planes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never used to be afraid of flying on planes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then all of a sudden one day," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I became afraid of flying on planes and then that became a new trigger for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I knew I was gonna have to go on a plane soon, I would be really anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or big shifts in my life, positive or negative, have really triggered anxiety for me more recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like whether it s going through a breakup or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "moving homes or going on a really long trip and being away from home for a long time or starting a new business venture, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big shifts in my life can cause me a lot of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I ve found is figuring out what triggers you the most in a given moment and then attacking it head on has been really helpful for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing that has been really helpful for me recently is researching anxiety, researching dissociating, researching panic attacks, understanding what these feelings feel like, understanding why these feelings happen in my body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason why this has been so helpful is because I ve noticed that it s sort of a vicious cycle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something benign will make you anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you might be anxious about a high pressure work situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe you have an assignment due or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe you re going on a date or something and you re anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not anything dangerous, that s not anything too serious, but it might spark a little bit of anxiety in you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll spark a little bit of anxiety in anyone, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if you re not an anxious person, that ll still make you anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re an anxious person, it might make you a little bit more anxious than the average person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you start to feel the symptoms of anxiety, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like noticing maybe your heart s beating a little bit faster than normal or maybe you re breathing a little bit faster than normal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then as an anxious person, you ll notice those things and those things will scare you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, why is my body doing that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then that will make you even more anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you feel like, wait, why do I feel like I can t breathe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I suffocating?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to pass out?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I dizzy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You start to get anxious about the physical reactions that you re having." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you ll start to have a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re like, Oh my God, no, I m having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of having a panic attack because the feeling of having a panic attack is horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re somebody who s experienced it before, you re like, Oh my God, no, I don t want to feel that feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then you start to get anxious about having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I don t want to get a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you have a panic attack, and then while you re having a panic attack, you don t know how to calm yourself down because you re so afraid of the feeling that you re feeling, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re afraid of the feeling of the panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s this horrible cycle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, similarly with dissociating, it s like, I m so afraid of the feeling of dissociating that I might be dissociating a little bit, and then I ll notice that I m dissociating, and then that will scare me because I m like, oh my God, I hate this feeling so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to feel like this forever?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is this the time that it never goes away and I feel like this for the rest of my life?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s usually my fear with dissociating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, what if this is permanent?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s such an uncomfortable and eerie and weird feeling that you re like, oh my God, what if it never goes away?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That then makes you feel extreme fear, which then leads you to get a panic attack, which then makes you start breathing faster and makes your heart beat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re afraid of those symptoms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re like, why is my heart beating?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why can I not breathe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I dying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m dying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s wrong with me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s really wrong with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you have a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s all connected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One thing triggers, another thing triggers, another thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the more that you understand anxiety, the less afraid you are of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, for example, as I ve educated myself on dissociating, it s like, OK, no, you know, the feeling will go away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will pass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just have to be patient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the irony of it is when I don t freak out about it and I take deep breaths and I distract myself in ways that are helpful for me," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I don t let myself freak out and I don t let myself indulge in the fear of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Indulge is the wrong word, but you get what I mean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The dissociating passes so much quicker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when I allow myself to be afraid of it, it just makes it worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now that I know that it s normal, it s completely normal to feel like you can t breathe and to feel dizzy," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and to have a pounding heart when you re anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I don t get as afraid of those symptoms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, hey, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just on the verge of a panic attack or I m having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to calm myself down and let this pass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, the irony of it is," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re not afraid of those symptoms and you don t let yourself get anxious about the symptoms of anxiety, they end up passing a lot quicker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I really recommend for all of you who tend to be anxious to do a lot of research about anxiety because a lot of the anxiety that we get is about anxiety." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that has been really helpful and my mom recommended that to me because she s really struggled with this through the years and that s what really helped her get her anxiety under control to a place now where she can really manage it well, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "researching anxiety, dissociating, panic disorder, all that, understanding it, has made me less afraid of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then in tandem with that, I ve also been really working on accepting that I may cycle through phases of these feelings forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though I still struggle with the fear of anxiety itself, and the fear of dissociating itself, and the fear of panic attacks themselves, I m trying to accept these feelings just as much as I m educating myself about them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Similar to another trigger for me recently, which has been my health." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why this is happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been happening for a while now, in some ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve definitely had a lot more anxiety about my safety and my well-being recently, after years of going through depressive episodes where I couldn t have cared less if I lived or died." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, all of a sudden, I don t want to die anymore, and I ve gone the complete opposite direction, and now I m overly protective of myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of being really concerned about your well-being is being concerned about your health." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve just been so paranoid about my health, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, I constantly think I m pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m constantly anxious that I m pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on birth control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have birth control, but this has been going on for a long time, but I am always concerned about getting pregnant on accident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really don t want that to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so to combat that, I ve started stocking my bathroom cabinet with pregnancy tests so that I can constantly be checking and making sure I m not pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done a lot of research about my specific type of birth control and how effective it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m also working to accept the reality that even though I m on birth control, and even though it s very effective, I might get pregnant anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it could still happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m working on accepting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another health anxiety I have is that for some reason recently I ve been convincing myself that I m having an allergic reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been very afraid of experiencing an allergic reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve actually never had one before, so that s why it doesn t really make any sense that I m so afraid of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve convinced myself multiple times recently that I m having an allergic reaction because I ve felt my throat closing up and I ve convinced myself that my skin is itchy and shit when in reality I m just having a panic attack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what have I done?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve researched what it feels like when you re having an allergic reaction, what to do if you have an allergic reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m learning to accept that I might have an allergic reaction one day that s really bad, as I fear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if that s the case, you know, Jesus will hopefully take the wheel here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jesus or the universe, whatever, the wheel will be taken by something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are just a few examples, but this is happening to me all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid that I m going to lose my voice completely one day because I always have a raspy voice and I lose my voice a lot and I probably have vocal cord nodes, but whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of something happening to my voice" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I constantly am afraid that I m sick or that I have a disease that I don t know about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m always anxious about these things, and so I m very paranoid about different bodily symptoms." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as they come in and as they happen, because we re human and we all feel like shit s off every once in a while, I go to the doctor and I say, hey, can you, you know, just what s up?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t go to the doctor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "nothing s wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I make sure there s actually something off or wrong first and then I go to the doctor and I take control of the situation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I research my symptoms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that can be a really bad thing to do sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t always want to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just blindly research symptoms because it ll tell you" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re gonna die, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So definitely I d talk to a doctor instead if you re an anxious person and you can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes it s actually helpful to look up your symptoms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is it normal to have white sweat?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like one time I had sweat that was like milky, like it looked milky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like am I, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I googled it, it was fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was like, oh, okay, we re good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I didn t think about it again, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Educating yourself on what s happening in your body, that helps so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, in tandem with accepting that something might also be wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s such a huge challenge with anxiety, is accepting yes," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "things might go wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like your biggest fears might come true, but there s nothing you can do about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you have to let it go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s this balance of easing your mind through education and accepting that things might go wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of similar to my health anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also had general anxiety about my well-being, you know, thinking I m going to get stabbed in the street." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of getting murdered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of someone breaking into my house, which you ll listen to my episode called The Scariest Night of My Life if you want to hear a fun story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of being in an airplane and it crashing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m afraid of my house catching on fire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been very afraid of these types of things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s been really helpful for me is looking up the statistics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often does a plane crash?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often does a house randomly combust?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like explode?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often do people get stabbed?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I prevent getting stabbed?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I prevent my house lighting on fire?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Digging into the research, figuring out how I can prevent these things from happening so that I feel in control, and then ultimately accepting the fact that it still might happen anyway and there s nothing I can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m doing everything I can to prevent it as much as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another interesting anxiety trigger for me is existential thoughts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I hope that I don t sound completely bizarre for this, but when I think about what the hell we re all doing, like how the world works," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not, I m not talking about capitalism." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about politics, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the bread and butter of how the world works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, gravity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This sounds so stupid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sound like a stoner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t smoke weed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s, this is something I do just when I m driving my car and it makes me want" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to go to sleep for two weeks, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll think about, you know, how is it that my body is working right now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember to breathe, I remember to blink, like it all, I m conscious, I m a conscious human being." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How does gravity work?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is it working so well?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrifying when you think about all of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Human existence, when you really think about it, is very overwhelming, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I go down a rabbit hole in my brain about it, it can really create anxiety for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it particularly causes me to dissociate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s interesting because I ve been aware of all these things my whole life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been aware of how cool it is that gravity works as well as it does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, as well as it does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know that it just works in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how cool it is that humans are conscious and it s like I ve always known that but for some reason the older I get the more anxiety it causes in me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now what s interesting about existential thoughts is that I haven t found that educating myself further on those things makes me feel better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I already, we learned about a lot of it in school like how our bodies work and how gravity works and how" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we all got here, although we don t really know for sure, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that when I m sort of having an existential crisis and I m anxious about how this all works, I guess, instead of educating myself and doing research to alleviate those feelings, I sort of do the opposite and I focus on what s in front of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ll call someone up on the phone and talk about dumb little things, or I ll focus on a dumb little task that s on my to-do list." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that has really helped me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think there could be some value to researching, I don t know, like if you re stressed out about how human existence works," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be helpful to research it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found the most helpful thing is to accept it for what it is and then focus on smaller, completable tasks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things that have a start and an end." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if your brain gives itself the assignment of understanding and comprehending human existence," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you will not ever complete that project." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I don t think anyone really fully has." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ve now given yourself an assignment that you can t complete." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I found for me, it s better to find an assignment that I can complete and to distract myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that to say, figuring out your anxiety triggers and then attacking them head on in one way or another, whether it s through research or it s through healthy and necessary distraction, all combined with as much acceptance as you can find within yourself for what we can t control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anxiety just festers and gets worse if you don t address the root of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t address what s bothering you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, it s interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One trigger for me was flying on planes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After doing a lot of research about the safety of airplanes and sort of just accepting that I don t know what s going to happen, but airplanes are really safe, so everything s probably going to be fine, I ve been able to let go of that fear, of that specific trigger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s probably a better way to handle anxiety that I m not aware of, but I ve noticed that going down the checklist of all the things that trigger me and sort of slowly but surely removing them from my list of triggers, I just get anxious less often." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then that also leads us to my final self-assigned assignment, which has been pushing through the fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another way to alleviate the anxiety of specific triggers is to face them head on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the things that really helped my fear of flying, in addition to doing research on planes and accepting that it could be dangerous, we don t know, but probably not," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also didn t let myself stop traveling by plane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be really easy to be like, I can t handle this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t handle this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to go on the, like, I m afraid of this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This triggers my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m already anxious enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to, I can t do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to, I m not going to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to face this fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you got to face the fear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be recently I ve been really afraid of having an allergic reaction and I was prescribed this medication by my doctor for something and the first day I was going to take it I was a wreck because I was really afraid that I was going to have an allergic reaction to the medication because I ve never taken this medication before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of me almost wanted to be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t even want to take the medicine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m so afraid of having an allergic reaction to the medicine that I don t even want to take the medicine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what I did?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I took it anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything was fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more that you push through things that trigger your anxiety and you prove to yourself, oh, wait, everything is fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because I have anxiety doesn t mean that the result is going to be bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can mistake anxiety for intuition." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can think that we re having" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "an intuitive feeling about something or having a gut feeling about something, but it s just anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what makes us so afraid of certain things like flying on the plane, having an allergic reaction, etc., etc." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you face the fear head on and everything goes fine, you re proving to yourself that you don t need to be anxious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, there s always risk in everything in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things could always go wrong, and things will go wrong at some point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But most of the time, things don t really go wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t go wrong as often as we think they re going to, for the most part." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you can teach yourself that through facing the fears that stem from your anxiety, you can also help to alleviate your anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So these are all things that I ve been doing to help get through this anxious phase and I think I m coming out the other side of this one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it seems that my anxiety morphs over time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in a way that makes it challenging to ever fully have a grasp on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I might resolve one type of anxiety, but then my brain miraculously figures out a new way to be anxious that now I need to attack." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the end of the day, we re all dealt various cards." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, some of us are anxious," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of us are depressed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The list goes on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no human being on the planet gets away with having no challenges as much as that would be a beautiful thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, maybe one day, maybe one day I ll really get it under control and I ll only have like one panic attack a year and I won t dissociate as often." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe one day I ll fully get it under control." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, who knows?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I don t, then I ll just keep working on it and everything will be fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully this was helpful for those of you out there who," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "struggle with anxiety, whether it s in a small way or a big way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s always so helpful to be reminded that there s a lot of us dealing with this specific challenge in life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we just got to stick together, you guys." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just have to stick together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I actually have to go get on a plane now, which is so ironic because I was talking about how afraid of planes I was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you, I m not afraid of going on the plane today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a little teensy, teensy, teensy bit of anxiety, but it s so minor compared to what I was experiencing a few months ago." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all is well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And thank you for spending your time with me today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can tune in to Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch video only on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow anything goes on Instagram at anything goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coffee, tea, whatever your heart desires." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a grocery store near you, so go on our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or just order and have it show up on your doorstep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will talk to you very soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye!" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you!" } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember growing up, there was a saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s three things you don t talk about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Religion, politics, and money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it is kind of true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, if you want to start an argument, bring up one of those three things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, there you go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now you have an argument." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Enjoy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But today we re going to talk about one of those three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a topic that is very uncomfortable for me, but we re going to be talking to Ms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Paula Pant today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Paula is a financial journalist in the brains behind Afford Anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The Afford Anything blog, newsletter, podcast, and online community are popular resources for practical advice and inspirational stories all in the world of money, finances, investing," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "real estate, it s all happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Paula s main goal is to empower everyone, everyone, no matter who you are, to sort of grab your finances by the reins, okay, and to master it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a lot of people, even myself included when I was younger felt like, Oh, I will never make enough money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I just, it s especially if you didn t grow up with money, you know, you can fall into a trap of feeling like, well, I ll never make money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is just, it s just impossible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the world of money and finances is so confusing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it seems to be its whole own language at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that doesn t make you feel any better either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But Paula is here to help us understand and to empower us to not be afraid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of money to not be afraid of our finances and to be smart, but to also enjoy life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, she s not going to come on here and say, pinch all the pennies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s here to say, Emma, if you want that Prada bag and it s really going to make you happy, figure out how to get that Prada bag." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, let s bring in Paula, everybody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you sort of financially savvy as a kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, those kids who are like, actually, I kind of did this like I used to sell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "things at school, like I d sell little erasers that my mom would buy me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, you were super entrepreneurial right from the start." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so like my mom would buy me these erasers that were like collectible and then I d go to school and sell them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I d pocket that money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom didn t know, which is actually like so that s like being entrepreneurial in like the worst way, like being kind of sneaky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But anyway, I didn t know any better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But were you like that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, were you financially savvy as a kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because that was the only example of me being financially savvy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I loved shopping." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, yeah, I maybe had a little entrepreneurial streak, but then I was addicted to shopping even when I was a kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, first of all, I m going to challenge, we ll come back to this later, but I m going to challenge the idea that loving shopping means that you re not financially savvy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to challenge that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll get back to that in a second, but first to answer your question, so sometimes" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do the right things for the wrong reason, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can have these habits that appear as though they re really healthy, but they re coming from an unhealthy place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was me when I was a kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was really, really anxious, just super anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, coming from a place of scarcity, believed that there would never be enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I clutched onto every penny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hoarded." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not because, oh, look at me, I m a good saver, but because I was terrified that I would run out of money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was doing the right thing for the wrong reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we get down to the root of money, right, a lot of people make the mistake of believing that money is tactical." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, you just do X, do Y, do Z, or hire it out, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People make that mistake all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reality is most people know the basics of what to do, but we get it in our own way because money truly is behavioral." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about unpacking that psychology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the root of it, everyone is either money anxious" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Money obsessed or money avoidant?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most things that people do, most behaviors, boil down to one of those three things, anxious, obsessed, avoidant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you were anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was super anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like over time, how has your relationship to money evolved personally?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was anxious because I never believed that I had the ability to make a lot of money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew, I had like no aptitude for STEM, for science, tech, engineering, math." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had zero aptitude, like biology, chemistry, math class in general, I was bad at." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I knew that all of the highest paying professions seemed to be in the STEM fields, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was like, well, I m not good at any of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can I do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had this fear that I would never make money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so through high school, through college, through my early 20s, because of that fear and because of that lack of confidence, I clutched onto every penny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was only as I got older and actually started making good money that I realized I have the ability to make money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have the capacity to make money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more I grew in confidence in knowing that even if I spend every dime that I make, that s fine because I m able to go out and make more as long as I m healthy, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As long as I have the health to work, I have the talent and the skill and the ability to make more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the moment that I started believing that, I allowed myself to begin spending." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you look at my actual like dollars and cents, it looks as though my relationship with money, like, you know, it looks as though I ve quote unquote gotten worse with money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you look at my personal like balance sheet, what you would see on the surface is that right now I m spending a lot more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it looks like I m quote unquote bad with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When in reality, I m actually better with it now because it s coming from a healthier place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that is a common misconception." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s easy to figure out how to be good at money or good with money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just don t spend it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spend the least amount of it possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that that s the common belief, but it s sort of a simple Band-Aid that you can just slap on the problem and whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, what is a healthy, like, like a healthy relationship with money?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, to to explain a little bit more of why, like, just don t spend is actually an unhealthy attitude." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, it s it s incredibly reductive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we were to take that to its logical extreme, we d be Ebenezer Scrooge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ebenezer Scrooge is the perfect example of a guy who lives in" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "abject poverty, despite the fact that he is one of the wealthiest people in his neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one wants to be Ebenezer Scrooge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think nobody would argue that Ebenezer Scrooge is good with money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then on the flip side, you ve got Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has a lot of money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He spends a lot of money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He lives in that big mansion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he is obsessed with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s obsessed with making more, and he s obsessed with money for its own sake." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so he s also an example of someone who s not good with money." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s successful at accumulating it, but he s not successful at translating his money into" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and expression of his values." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be good with money means that you are using money as a physical manifestation of your values, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So whatever it is that you value, that you prioritize, maybe you prioritize travel and adventure, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Underneath, what is travel?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Travel is a form of adventure and exploration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe what you, the value that you have is adventure and exploration, and the expression of that value is through travel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how you use your money in that particular case to express those values." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the value that you have is generosity, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you, you know, you spend your money supporting friends, supporting family, and that can sometimes, you know, you gotta be careful because that might tip into, yeah, enabling, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you don t, so there s a whole lot there to do it well, but maybe that s how you express that value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re just clutching onto money, if you re just not spending it," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then you re divorcing yourself from the way that you can use your money to be an expression of your deepest priorities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I think a lot of people, their goal in life is to make as much money as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I know growing up, that was my goal, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, why would I, what other goal is there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, it was sort of this obvious goal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I just need to make as much money as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was not factoring in" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "sort of why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re spending all your time making money, and you make a lot of it, but you have no time to do anything else with it, then what s, I guess, the point?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, how do you think balance is best found in that way, between sort of making enough money that you can" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "survive comfortably, and then also spend on things kinda that are enjoyable for you, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s zoom out a little and talk about limited resources, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because money and time are both limited resources." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when we re talking about how do you balance how much money you make versus how much time you have, what we re really asking, if you go one step above that, is, hey, I have," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These very, very limited resources, time, money, energy, attention, those are all of the limitations that I have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now inside of those limitations, I can exchange one for the other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can exchange time for money or I can exchange money for time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exchanging time for money is having a job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exchanging money for time is hiring somebody to mow your lawn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so within the scope of how much right now at this current moment, how much abundance do I have in each of those categories?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How abundant am I in time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "how abundant am I in money, you know, typically where you are within that is going to determine, you know, if you have a lot of time on your hands, but you don t have a lot of money, all right, then you re going to be hustling a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve got a lot of money, but you feel a little bit strapped for time, all right, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "time to start outsourcing a bit more, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hiring assistants, hiring help who can take some of the workload off your plate, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that exchange, if we look at the pool of like, these are my limited resources, then it just becomes a question of how do I trade one limited resource for another?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because ultimately it s a time and money balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that really one of the best uses of money is to trade that money for time because ultimately money is renewable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can always make more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas time is non-renewable and once it s gone, it s gone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So time is far more valuable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you talked about there s this idea around work that people dislike their work and do it only for money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can sometimes be like the knee jerk reaction to the idea of work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know I listened to your interview with your mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You and your mom are both workaholics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Self-described workaholics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that you re not doing that to put groceries on the table, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not doing that because you re stressed about the cost of bananas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you love what you do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have been creating videos for years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you do it because you love art, you love creation, you love video as an expression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a certain thing that happens when" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your work, like your dad said, hits that flow state, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to the extent that you can, you can direct your energy towards doing work that is not just like drudgery for the sake of earning a dollar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes there s an era in your life when you have to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you do what you gotta do in that moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in terms of the long game, the big picture, if your work can be the type of thing where you are creating something of value that you are putting out into the world, the more you do that, the more richly you ll be rewarded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do have a question for you about, you know, your sort of job journey, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like you were sort of more in a nine to five and then eventually broke out of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell me about that journey, you know, like your journey through jobs over the years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, so I, straight out of college, I went to work for a newspaper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a newspaper reporter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this was back in the days, I m dating myself a bit, but this was back when Craigslist first started and classified ad revenue was going away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this was in the days when everyone in the newspaper world was panicking because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those classified ads used to be such a big source of income." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I would go to these journalism conferences and everyone was like, the internet killed all the jobs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People were so pessimistic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I would go to content creator conferences and they were like, the internet created so many jobs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally, totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everyone was super optimistic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was really hard for me to understand, like, people who are trained in journalism are really, in my opinion, like some of the best qualified content creators because, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet no one was doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like so many journalists were just stuck in this like, well, I need to keep applying for jobs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no one was just making that pivot to being like, I can be my own boss." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just the one who decided that rather than going for job interviews, I was just going to make the pivot to doing my own thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s beautiful about living in the era of the internet is that anyone can do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The gatekeepers have gone away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are low barriers to entry to starting your own business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, it used to be that if you wanted to start a business, you needed a brick and mortar retail location, like you needed a high cost of capital." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was so shut out for most people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now anyone with a smartphone can can make something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you feel like your journey from being, you know, anxious about money as a child to then, you know, going into the into the work world in a very traditional way to then being like, I need to get creative right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have to figure something out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, wait, I figured something out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "journey sort of enlighten others on what you had discovered?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What came first?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Was your fascination around money, did that come first?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or was it" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "your experience, you know, in the workforce, was that what made you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think there were a couple of things that were happening in tandem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one, so I m an immigrant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was born in Kathmandu, Nepal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was two months old when I came to the U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so my parents, when I was a little kid, a lot of the things that most people s parents do before they re born, like I watched my parents as brand new immigrants go through all of these" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "milestones that most people tend to do when they re in their teens or early 20s, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They bought their first car." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They bought like a tiny little starter home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad didn t open his first retirement account until he was 50, 50." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I watched them be very, very frugal out of necessity, just because they were getting a late start in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they like when you earn in Nepalese rupees," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t translate to anything when you translate that to U.S." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dollars." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they were doing all of the right things, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were clipping coupons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We never went to restaurants." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because I saw frugality, but I also saw its limitations, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I saw that frugality would help you survive, you know, but it would keep you off the streets, but it would never help you get ahead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way that I like to say that now is you can t shrink your way to greatness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, frugality is, if you think of it as sports, frugality is playing defense, but entrepreneurship is playing offense, or investing is playing offense, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a good sports game, you ve got to do both." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that understanding came later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It started with me being in high school, realizing that my parents were doing all the right things and they were really frugal, but we still weren t really getting ahead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also, I went to an all girls Catholic school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I would see these other kids at school and they were doing what I considered rich kids stuff, which like, you know, like eating a Panera bread." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought that was a rich kid thing to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was like, I can t imagine having $14 to spend on a kale and strawberry salad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my definition at that time of what a rich person was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I saw these other kids at high school who had that kind of money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what is it that they re doing that we re not?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I started reading books and I started learning about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, oh, OK, the difference is investing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Talk about sort of your slogan." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Tell me the story of the slogan, you can afford anything but not everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When did this sort of message come into your brain and dig into it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this happened at the time that I quit my newspaper job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d saved up about $25,000, which was all the money that I had in the entire world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a $700 ticket to Cairo, one-way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I flew to Egypt on a one-way ticket, and for the next 27 months, I lived out of a backpack." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just traveled, mostly sticking to countries where the dollar exchange rate really worked in my favor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I spent six weeks in Egypt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spent about a month in Laos." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spent a month in Cambodia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lived on a budget of around $1,000 a month." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was able to do that first by being in countries like Laos and Cambodia, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Countries where the dollar goes a lot further." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And second, I wasn t like traveling around doing touristy things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I was like, I d go to one location." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was minimizing transit costs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I would just stay in that one location." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in a guest house, eating the same food that locals eat, just living like a local." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at that time I was reading books, I would write the occasional freelance article, but I was mostly just there to experience the culture and to have that adventure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so many of my friends back at home said, oh, I would love to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would love to travel Southeast Asia, but I can t afford it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I heard that over and over and over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I knew that these were friends who lived in apartments, like luxury apartments with stainless steel appliances, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they would go to the bars and spend $14 on a cocktail." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or there d be a concert in town where like concert tickets were a hundred bucks and they would go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I saw them, they would spend their money in these ways and then they would turn around and say, I d love to travel but I can t afford it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so here s the thing, if you sit down, and again remember how I said money is an expression of your values, if you" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "really ponder, like, what do I value?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you decide that wanting to maximize your life at home is what you value." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you, so you make the conscious decision that the creature comforts of having a luxury apartment, having the $14 martini, having the $100 concert ticket, you decide that that is genuinely what you value and you prioritize that above and beyond anything else, including travel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I applaud that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great because that is conscious, thoughtful, deliberate spending." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if that s the case, then the way to express that is not, I can t afford to travel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The way to express that is, I choose not to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a priority." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what about your acronym, FIRE?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dig into FIRE for me too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to lay the groundwork here and then we can really dig in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, perfect, perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there is a movement online called the FIRE movement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so FIRE stands for Financial Independence Retire Early." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have my own different acronym for FIRE." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my personal acronym for it is Financial Psychology, Investing, Real Estate, Entrepreneurship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s talk about both of those." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So first, the general online acronym of FIRE, Financial Independence, Retire Early." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Financial independence is the point at which you no longer have to trade time for money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s the point at which you have enough residual income, typically through investments, that you have enough, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you think about," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Taylor Swift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If she decided to stop working today, she could easily live for the rest of her life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She doesn t have to go on the Eras tour or put out a new album for the sake of putting groceries on the table." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s fine for the rest of her life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Warren Buffett, same thing, fine for the rest of his life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a lot of these people who we typically think of as quote unquote wealthy," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in a traditional sense, are financially independent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not working because they have to, they re working because they want to, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so financial independence is anyone who has enough money to do that, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On a smaller scale, it s the person who works as a registered nurse, but saves" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "30% of her income and invests it in index funds and does that for 15 years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And eventually the money that she has built up in her portfolio is enough that it s pretty much going to match what she was spending as a registered nurse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so she s like, cool, I ve got enough, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s financial independence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now the other side of the FIRE acronym, retire early, I don t actually like those two being conflated into one thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a lot of people are drawn to the FIRE movement because they re like, oh, once I have enough, I can retire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that registered nurse who maybe doesn t like her job is like, once I have enough money that it s matching what I make in my day-to-day life, I can then retire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the problem is when we conflate those ideas together, we end up with a bunch of problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all, retirement is one of many options." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You could choose to retire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You could choose to change careers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You could choose to do, I mean, you could choose to do anything, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why would you make one of the many possible choices?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why would you confuse that with the idea of having that freedom in the first place?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it does kind of take away the freedom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, what if you want to go and, you know, maybe get a job that is like, doesn t pay a lot, but you enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not retiring technically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like this idea that now you need to move to the Florida Keys, like the second, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what about yours?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So my FIRE acronym," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is financial psychology, investing, real estate, and entrepreneurship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you can master all of those, then you ve got the building blocks of good overall financial wellness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So financial psychology is the first piece, it s the foundational piece, and it s, I would argue, the most important piece." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because money is not tactical, it s behavioral." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To get to the root of why we behave the way we do with money, we need to understand our own inner psychology." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I mentioned earlier, people tend to fall into one of three categories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re either anxious, they re avoidant, or they re obsessed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re obsessed with money, you know, we see these people who like, they blow it to show it, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they re all flash, no cash, and they really conflate their self-worth with their net worth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Money avoidant tend to be people who have really internalized the notion that rich people are greedy, or money corrupts, or the idea, I d rather be happy than rich, as though they re mutually exclusive, as though you can t be both at the same time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they ve really internalized these ideas, and they ve internalized this notion, like, look, if rich people are evil," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I don t want to be evil, so I m just never going to be rich, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by doing so, you ve sabotaged your own success, even at a subconscious level, you hold yourself back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because why would you ever want to be rich or successful or powerful if you deep down believe that rich, successful, powerful people are evil or bad or greedy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, people who have really internalized that, those scripts, tend to be money avoidant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you ve got people who are money anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that can either be because you don t have enough and so you re anxious about, as I described myself when I was younger, or it could be because you have a lot" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so now you re worried that you re going to lose it, you re worried it s going to get stolen, you re worried that people are going to use you for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So either way, regardless of whether it s due to scarcity or due to abundance, you are living in the state of hypervigilance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then what is the happy state?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the healthy state?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you were just describing this, I actually think I m avoidant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, I m always like, yeah, it s weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been sort of avoidant about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or no, actually that s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was anxious as a kid, and then I think now I m avoidant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I just don t want to see it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to believe it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wonder if that s because, and I don t mean to like play armchair psychologist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I love this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get into it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I wonder if that s because, you know, when you were a kid, you didn t have a whole lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now you have significantly more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you have probably more than you ever, the 12 year old version of yourself would not have imagined where you are today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I m guessing there s probably some imposter syndrome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s probably some sense of, wait, do I even deserve this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how did this happen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there are all these other people who you see working so much harder for so much less." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so and so all of that then ends up turning into avoidance because deep down you don t feel like you really deserve it in the first place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s absolutely spot on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what is the like happy like what s the happy medium?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I mean or is it always is the relationship with money always one of those three that s a little bit faulty?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean what is the is there even a name for" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for a balanced relationship with money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would say it s a lifelong practice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, in the way that a relationship between a couple, you re never done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like with your spouse, your partner, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, like you re never like, okay, our relationship is healthy forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like that s, it s, that s not a thing, you know, because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the two of you are dynamic, and the two of you are always changing, and so you constantly have to be working on your relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way that you do that, oftentimes, is just by observing what s coming up within you, and then asking yourself, wait a minute, let s unpack that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what s behind that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think the relationship with money, a relationship that a person has with money, is similar to that, in that you re never done having a healthy relationship with money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because your relationship with money is very much a reflection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a projection of all of the gunk and the noise that is inside of you, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting projected onto money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like your relationship with yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve got a really healthy relationship with yourself, that s likely going to translate into a very, very healthy relationship with money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if there are parts of yourself that are suffering from trauma or from damage or from" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, just feelings of brokenness or insecurity or inadequacy, that s going to translate into your relationship with money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So what about investing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The I. The I. The I of your fire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so I. So" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll kind of take these together, the ire, the ire of fire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll take these together because when we talk, so investing real estate entrepreneurship, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As an entrepreneur, if you run your own business, you are investing money into that business, but you re doing so in a much more active way, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Versus as an investor who s investing passively into things that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you don t actually have any day-to-day involvement in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you buy a share of Coca-Cola stock, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t work for the Coca-Cola company, you have no day-to-day involvement in it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just bought some stock on the public market and that s that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So traditional public markets investing is very passive, whereas if we go to the other side of IR," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Entrepreneurship is very, very active." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Owning real estate is sort of a hybrid between the two." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s kind of fitting that the R falls into the middle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you think of IR, you can sort of see it as a spectrum of moving from passive to active." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where public markets investing, buying stocks, buying bonds, things like that, that s the most passive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Building your own business, that s the most active." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that gradient in between, that s how you move along the passive to active continuum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s almost like those are sort of the main ways to get to a point where you re financially independent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it a combination of investing real estate in entrepreneurship?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it choosing just one?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is there sort of no rules?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you were to be giving advice to the average person, what would that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Advice B. So remember how with the financial independence retire early, the FI is really the heart of it and the retire early is like one of many options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The same thing is true in my acronymifier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The R and the E, the real estate and entrepreneurship, those are options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to, fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess it s like if it aligns with your values." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it aligns with your interests and values, cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If not, you don t need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fundamentally, all you need is that, again, with mine, just like the other, just the F and the I. You need to understand your own financial psychology and you need to, at a minimum, you need to invest for retirement, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ll need, if you live in the U.S.," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "401k or a 403b or an IRA, you ll need some type of an account or just a taxable brokerage account, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you need some type of an account where you can make investments in, you know, you can buy into a broad market index fund." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s basically a big basket that tracks" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all of the publicly traded stocks, get an account, buy a broad market index fund, hold it for the next 40 years, and you ll keep contributing to it every month, and you ll be golden." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very, very simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My dad is so" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "he s always said, Emma, it s, you have to invest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is all it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, it s so daunting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so daunting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I, I m so overwhelmed by, cause I want to understand it and I don t like I, and it s, and that s kind of my fault." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of young people especially are like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll figure that out later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I do think that from everyone who has more life experience than me, the advice is to invest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like that is the best thing that you can do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to make it really simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, please, please, please, please." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who get paid to make it sound more complicated than it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you can scare people into thinking that it s complicated, then people are going to throw up their hands and be like, let me just pay you to handle it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a whole financial industry out there that has a vested interest in making it feel scary and feel complicated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, first of all, I threw out a bunch of letters and numbers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "401k, 403b, blah, blah, blah, blah, IRA, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are all just different types of accounts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what is an account?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of when you go to the bar, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you go to the bar, there s a pint glass, which typically holds beer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a martini glass, which typically holds vodka." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a shot glass, which might hold whiskey, it might hold tequila, it might hold gin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just because a particular vessel is designed to have a particular substance in it, you don t have to put that substance in it if you don t want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can take a champagne flute and put water in it or coffee or you can put anything you want in a champagne flute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just that because a champagne flute so often contains champagne, a lot of people will conflate the two." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when we talk about these various accounts, right, there s 401Ks, 403Bs, IRAs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those accounts are just vessels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those accounts are just the glasses that hold the substance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when we talk about various investments, right, we talk about stocks or bonds or CDs or money market, you know, those are the substances that go inside of the vessels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So sometimes I ll hear people say, oh, I don t want to open a 401k because I don t trust the stock market." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, a 401k is just an account." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The stock market or stocks are a particular type of substance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can open a 401k, you can open an account and you don t need to necessarily have stocks in there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would recommend that you do and we can talk about why later, but you don t necessarily have to have stocks in there if you don t want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the first thing to understand is just the distinction between the vessel," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the pint glass and the beer that goes inside of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to invest, first just get a glass." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even care which one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just to start." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just need an account." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start with something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then fundamentally, stocks and bonds, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the two big types of publicly traded investments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a stock is just a piece of ownership in a company." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the good news is you don t have to choose which companies are going to be winners or losers because there are these indexes and an index is just a bunch of stocks that are all traded together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the biggest one in the United States, the biggest one is called the S&P 500." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is 500 companies, 500 of the biggest companies in the US." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if all you do is get an S&P 500 index fund, right, get that, get a total bond market index fund, boom, it s as simple as that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s also one that s called a total stock market index fund." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just get that, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like, it s almost like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, there are going to be some people who are really into investing and they re like tracking the patterns of this and that and this and that and trying to sort of, you know, invest in the most fruitful way, like the way that s going to be like explosive or something like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you don t necessarily need to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can just invest in the S&P 500 and be like, I m good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that sort of the vibe?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, actually, what s interesting is that the data shows that people who try to beat the index don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, really." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Statistically speaking, the laziest approach is actually the most profitable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a treat that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it goes against our nature, like in almost any other field, in art, in science, in technology, in anything else, in athletics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In anything else that we do, the more we try, the better results we get." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Investing is the one area where the more you try, the worse results you get." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Statistically speaking," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "if you try to beat the index, you don t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most people who try to beat the index end up underperforming, which is just a fancy way of saying doing worse." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Most people who try to beat the index end up doing worse over time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, sometimes you ll see headlines where so-and-so, they beat the total stock market for the last five years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Big freaking whoop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Five years in the span of a human lifetime is a blink of an eye." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "almost nobody can consistently over 40 years or 50 years reliably beat the index." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so your best bet is actually the simplest and laziest one, which is you just stick with, I mean, if you want to keep it really simple, just get two indexes, get a total stock market index, get a total bond market index, have a combination of both." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "put them in one of the vessels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Ideally, you would put it in a tax-advantaged vessel, which is just a vessel that gives you a tax break." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So put it in one of those vessels, and you re good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the most important thing is just that you keep contributing regularly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So with every paycheck, just keep putting money in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so where most people go wrong is most people try to time the market." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So they ll say, oh, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "this is happening, there s a recession going on, or I m worried that there might be a recession coming up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s a pandemic happening right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "People are looking around at all of these big geopolitical events, and they re trying to make guesses about what might happen in the future, and they re trying to time the market." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s a mistake." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Don t do any of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The people who are the most successful just routinely put in exactly the same amount of money with every single paycheck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so imagine that you get paid once every two weeks, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And we ll say with every paycheck you put in X amount of money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Maybe it s $100, maybe it s $500, maybe it s $1,000, whatever you can afford." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re putting in the same, we ll say just $500, if you re putting in the same $500 per paycheck," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "then naturally whenever the stock market is expensive, meaning when stocks are high, naturally that same $500 is going to buy fewer shares because stocks are expensive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you re putting in that same $500 every two weeks, every paycheck, then naturally when stocks are low, that same $500 is going to buy more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So by virtue of putting in the same fixed amount of money with every paycheck, you inherently automatically end up buying more stocks when they re cheap and fewer stocks when they re expensive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess that s sort of the most practical." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "piece of advice for like the average person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like it s like anyone can benefit from from investing in this simple way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess my question is like, what about people who are, let s say, in student debt or" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, maybe people who they are living paycheck to paycheck, they don t have that extra $50." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your advice for those people to get out of that period and to have that surplus?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, how do you, you know, how do you get there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you re living paycheck to paycheck," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "then start with 1%." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now 1% means $10 for every $1,000 that you make." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you make $3,000 a month, start with 30 bucks a month." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so this month, if your income is $3,000 a month, this month my challenge to you is to set aside 30 bucks and to put those $30 into a Roth IRA, which is one of the many types of accounts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do that this month." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Next month, do one more percent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So $60." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if you just continually do that, start with 1% and then increase by an additional 1% every month." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And do that for somewhere between 6 to 12 months." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "By virtue of doing that, then within 6 months to a year, you ll be saving between 6 to 12% of your income." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s going to be gradual, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s going to start with 1% this month, and it s going to be 2% next month, and it s going to be 3% the month after that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then the question is, all right, how do I either cut my expenses by $50 a month, or how do I increase my income by $50 a month?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so you re every month you re solving for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But of course, in a given month, you re never going to cut exactly 50 or earn exactly 50." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But what that does is like if you stay on that trajectory, if your goal each month, we ll say you make five thousand a month." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "your goal each month is just to increase it by an extra 50 bucks a month, then even if one month it s 30, and the next month it s 70, and the next month it s 45, you re still kind of hugging to that 50 bucks a month, and you re still increasing over time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s almost like it motivates you to sort of, I don t know, you can get really creative to make that $50, for example." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re like, oh, I want to go out and make an extra $50," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it ll sort of give you a reason to do that that you wouldn t else otherwise, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your advice for people who sort of maybe have a mentality where they re like, I can t, you know, like people who are like, I can t make money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t attract money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t make money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no getting out of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no turning it around." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just my deck of cards." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your thoughts on that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, the story that you tell yourself, right, your money story that you tell yourself is the single biggest predictor of your financial future." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you tell yourself the story that you just described, then that story becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And a large part of that is because the story that you just described is a story where what s called your locus of control is outside of yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Locus just means location, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So where you locate the source of control, the source of power, if you locate that into the external world and you say, the external world is broken." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "which it is, that s true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But if you put all of your, if you give that all of your power and you don t see the power inside of yourself, then you do end up stuck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But so what you need to do is change that story and flip that script." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s why financial psychology is the single most important, like your financial mindset is the single most important thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because when you flip that script and you put your locus of control internally, and you say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it s true that the world is broken." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s true that my childhood sucked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s true that, you know, like X and Y and Z, those things are all true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We re not invalidating any of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I also have these advantages." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have this power." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, there are so many things that I can do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And like, once you flip the script and start telling yourself a more empowering story, then the question, it changes from, I can t to, how can I?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And if every time you find yourself thinking, I can t, you flip that script and ask, how can I?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you start seeing the world in different ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is almost like our ultimate goal in life is to survive, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a big part of that is money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a lot of us, I think, fall into this routine that everyone else did, you know, the traditional sort of path of like, you go to college and you get this job and you, you know, do this and you do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so hard because it s so easy to just" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of fall into this stereotypical routine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then there s also this desire to, on the other hand, completely reject the original structure, or the expected structure, which is also bad, because you don t want to completely reject, because that might be a great path for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also like some people might" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this is very Gen Z, but young people might be like, well, I don t wanna go to college because I wanna be entrepreneurial and it s not as entrepreneurial to go to college." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or young people might be like, I don t wanna get married because everybody gets married and I m not gonna sort of succumb to the man." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s this sort of desire to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rebellion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my generation is definitely in a phase of rebellion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s interesting about rebellion is that you re still shackled by expectation within rebellion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so ironic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If you re doing something because it s contrary to what s expected, you re still doing it because it s expected." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still going by a book." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re maybe not going by the book, but you re still going by a book." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re not a free thinker as you feel." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Exactly, exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like true freedom is" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "doing something in a vacuum of what s expected, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re doing it because it s what feels most true to you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re neither doing it because it s expected nor are you not doing it as a reactionary, like anti-measure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Either way, I think the common thread that both of those share is that they re not, and I know this is a very overused word, but they re not authentic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meaning they re not coming from the quiet inside of you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think follow your curiosity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what I would say to people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s hard, people say follow your passion, but sometimes it s hard to know what you re passionate about." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But follow your curiosity." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are you curious about?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you think anyone can find fulfillment in their career?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See, I agree, too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, but then it s also like I think about certain jobs that I feel like nobody would want to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like even being a garbage man, you know, like it smells bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, but it s like maybe there are some people who genuinely love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They love that they see the same people every day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I guess my question is, is that realistic?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is that a realistic goal for humanity that everyone can find fulfillment in their job in one way or another?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s essential to find fulfillment in your career because your career is where you spend at least 40 hours of your week, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s a huge, huge chunk of your time, of your waking life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, there are a couple of things that I would say." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One is there s a distinction between a temporary job that you might have for a moment versus a 40-year career over the span of your lifetime." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I worked a bunch of food service jobs when I was in high school and college, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those jobs, for me, they were never going to be my career." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But those were jobs like there s a distinction between a job that you do temporarily." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I say temporarily, it might be for a few years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s a distinction between a job that you do temporarily for a brief era in your life versus what you do long term." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So so that s one difference." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other thing is there are a lot of people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for me, I worked food service and I was like, this is not my path." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are a lot of people who go into food service and they re like, wow, I m actually, I m really into this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think I want to go further in this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think I d like to, you know, I m starting out as a bar back, but like, I would love to one day be a bartender." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then eventually I would love to open my own bar, you know, or I m starting out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "just like as a food runner, but I would love to one day eventually become a sous chef and then maybe become a chef." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which, by the way, there s actually research." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a book called The Millionaire Next Door." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The average millionaire in the United States, first of all, four out of five millionaires in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are first generation millionaires." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So they did not come from, they did not come from money." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They are the first generation in their family to be millionaires." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of the four out of five millionaires in the U.S." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who fit that category, the bulk of them are not only are they entrepreneurs, but they re entrepreneurs in what are known as like kind of boring professions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So totally janitorial services." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there s not a lot of competition there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not glamorous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And because of the fact that it s not glamorous, you can really grow something big." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would you say?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If there were a course in high school for kids, what is the most valuable information?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Obviously, at school, you can only fit in so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So if you had to fit three smaller topics into a course for high schoolers about being financially literate, what would you teach?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What would be those three smaller topics?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first thing I would say is, going back to what I said earlier, money is a physical representation of your values." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so to figure out how you want to spend your money, first you need to figure out what your values are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what that means is that you might not be doing the same things that everybody else is, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, be weird, you know, be weird." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we live in the society where we re taught that you should spend on X, Y, and Z just because that s what everybody else is doing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People feel this pressure, like you said earlier, to you get the fancy car, you get the fancy home, you spend your money on appointments, like you get brows and lashes and nails, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you do it just because everybody else is and you feel like it s expected of you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you can shed that and" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and really ask yourself, do I care about my hair and my nails?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe, like I know you, you came to the conclusion you do care about your nails, you don t care about your hair." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s an example of being really, really clear about what you care about, your nails, and what you don t care about, your hair." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re going to spend time and money on your nails, and you re not going to spend any time or money on your hair." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you take that and you make that bigger." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You apply that to everything in life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you really care about a fancy car?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And some people do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people are obsessed with cars and they read car magazines and that s their thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And other people, it s like if you lived alone on a deserted island and nobody saw what you drove." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a great test." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like the deserted island test." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We need to trademark that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What else would you teach high schoolers?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like two more, two more." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it investing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it the basics of investing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or do you think that s something that kids can go and learn on their own?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What else?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of the information that I said earlier about open an account, get a total stock market index fund and a total bond market index fund, have a mix of the two, put money in it every month routinely with every paycheck, and you re good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It does not have to be any more complicated than that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s very step-by-step." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very actionable, it s very tactical." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s great and it s important, but I literally can and just did say that in 30 seconds." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What influences whether or not you re actually going to do that is unpacking the money stories that you tell yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many get-rich-quick schemes out there, like TikTok is the worst" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "space to learn about money." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But why do people fall prey to get-rich-quick schemes?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s because a lot of times that slow and steady, gradual, incremental, just put money in with every paycheck and don t touch it, it feels so passive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that people are like, I feel like I should be doing more." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I should be taking action." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So yeah, you can teach the tactics, but most people get in their own way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most people get in their own way because" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "they have some type of a story that they re telling themselves, a story that they should be doing more, the story that they should be responding to broader economic news, the story that they should be trying to time the market." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have all of these myths and misconceptions and those pull them off of that track and create all this unnecessary complexity and actually end up doing way more damage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I guess it s like, I m thinking about it now and it s so true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A lot of people say," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "oh, why didn t they teach us how to do this, this, or that with money in school?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s somewhat true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think there is some value to maybe a semester of learning how to do, learning how to invest, learning how to do various things like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I do think that s helpful, but I think you make a great point that none of that matters unless" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you understand the psychology of it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It just doesn t even matter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I do think it s true that you can easily go out and learn the technical side of things, like how things work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you recommend for young people who are coming into maybe a bit of their own money for the first time?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s your recommendation for young people on how to learn" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because I think there is something hard to grasp about money for some reason, like how these things work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s all a whole new language." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What s the easiest way to understand it properly?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it reading a book?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here s what I would say." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re young, if you re 22, you ve just graduated from college, you ve got your first steady paycheck for the first time in your life, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "First of all," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Know that it s not that complicated, but there are vested interests that want you to think it s complicated because they make money if you get overwhelmed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you have a job that has a 401k or a 403b and there s some type of an employer match, get the full employer match." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care if you re in debt." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t care about any." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get the full employer match because that employer match is part of your page." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It truly is yours." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re earning that money." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re just, if you re not getting the full employer match, you are not getting a portion of the money that you ve earned in your job." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you are entitled to that money." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is part of your compensation." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you re just foregoing part of your compensation, foregoing part of your paycheck by not getting that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So get the full employer match." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number three, just stick with broad market index funds." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So to keep it super simple, total stock market, total bond market, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get just those two." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your age minus 10 is the percentage that you put in the total bond market and the rest you put in the total stock market." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There it is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then just put money in from your paycheck every single month." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s super simple." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to get in there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of have to get in there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like that s the only way to learn in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do have to..." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t run away from it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been known to run away from it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I, yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Avoidance, that money avoidance." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do, I run away from it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve never been aware of that piece, that it s because I m avoidant." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I didn t know why." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been like, I don t wanna see it, I don t wanna know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wouldn t recommend that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t recommend that, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that s good." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the disconnect I have, in a way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some reason for me mentally, I feel mentally healthier not seeing it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and not knowing what s happening." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And knowing that I m living far below my means so that I don t have to look ever again." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s not, I don t know, but I don t know if that s healthy necessarily, because it s like, I should just be involved." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s something in me where I m like, eh, I don t wanna see, I don t wanna know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As long as I know that I m living far below, in a very safe area where that s fine, then I," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "don t, I don t know, you know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let me ask." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we ve talked earlier about that internalized imposter syndrome, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where it s like, wait a minute, I ve never had anything even close to this before." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think there s an element of you that" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we re often taught, like, either you work for joy or you work for money." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t do both." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is there an element of you that, like, if you saw how richly you were getting rewarded for the work that you do, do you think that it would take away from" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think like there s a lot of guilt, I think, too." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel guilty." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, fuck." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I. I feel bad." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s dig into that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You how old were you when you started making YouTube videos?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sixteen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you, I m imagining the first week or the first month that you made videos, how much did you make doing that?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Zero." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And did you love it?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And did you want to keep doing it?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And did you ever imagine, I mean, did you think realistically that you would be here?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so fast forward to today, do you love it just as much?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you see yourself continuing to do this 50 years from now?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, maybe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe not." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the act of making videos." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That I would do forever." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "putting them on the internet is a different thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So being on the internet I think is where, so that s actually what it is, I m realizing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not about creating a YouTube video." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love doing that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about the internet s involvement." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being a public figure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I have a really hard time with that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as your status as a public figure grew, the money grew in lockstep with that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The more of a public figure you became, the bigger the money grew." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I wonder if there s an element where you associate the money that you have with the public figure element of your job." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had a very hard time with being a public figure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t think" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m necessarily built for it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that there are some people who are just naturally a thicker skin, naturally enjoy the attention more than me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do enjoy the attention to an extent." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sometimes it can be so nice." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate it, but I don t need it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feed me, ultimately." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could go without it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could go without" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being a public figure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually have moments all the time where I m like, I kind of wish I went and did something else that wasn t in the public eye, but maybe gave me the same fulfillment as what I do now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely have my fair share of existential crises, but I do think that that s also inevitable." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t, but it s like, but here I am." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it is great in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, and I think fixing that relationship with whether it s me being in the public eye or, you know, the money of it all, like I think fixing that would allow me to just sit in it and maybe even enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have yet to crack that code." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here s what I m hearing is there s a," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a craft that you love, which is making videos, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s this other thing that came along with it, which is being in the public eye that you accept as part of your existence, but you don t necessarily love." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And being in the public eye is also the piece of it that s in lockstep with money." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I, my guess is that the moment that you ll start to actually pay attention to your money is when you make peace with the fact that you re in the public eye." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, wow, that s actually very true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m now realizing how connected that is because I m afraid, like I like have this, I have this like deep visceral fear" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it comes to being in the public eye." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so like, it s almost like because I can t handle that, I almost don t really believe that maybe," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my financial success is, I m like, this is gonna go away because I know I can t handle being in the public eye for much longer." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, I think that could be what it is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I m not even gonna look, because this is not gonna last." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m gonna be, I am not strong enough to be here." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I will eventually crumble." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, no I won t." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of it is all subconscious sort of little chatter that if I were to truly address," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, no, I ve made it this far." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be fine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s interesting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very rare these days that, you know, with my podcast and with all these things that I." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "realize something new about myself that I ve never even touched on in that I have never." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what a treat." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like, cause I really, I m not avoidant with almost anything in my life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except for that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beautiful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is amazing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, is there any other advice or anything?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I feel like I ve, I feel like we ve covered everything in the whole world at this point." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The core message is to have a healthy relationship with money in the same way that you would have a relationship with a lover or with a parent or a child or with yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the message." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, love it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so great." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lost my voice again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this isn t a shock to any of us because I always lose my voice, but I went a solid month where my voice sounded crystal clear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No hoarseness, maybe a little bit of raspiness, but that s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My voice sounded incredible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounded beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sounded like Ariana Grande when I was talking, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounded like a whistle tone, an Ariana Grande whistle tone when I was talking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was that crispy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was that sharp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it s gone again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s something wrong with my vocal cords." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little bit concerned about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I will be going to the doctor soon because it s just a little bit weird how often I lose my voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whatever i ll get to the bottom of it for now i m just gonna eat a lot of luden s cherry cough drops and cross my fingers and hope for the best i just downed a cough drop it was delicious i m i m feeling good and i m ready to talk so" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Recently, I ve been thinking about cringe, the feeling of cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been sort of trying to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I noticed that with myself, I know when something s cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can look at something and be like, that s cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can do something and be like, Emma, that was cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I rarely ask myself why it was cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rare that I m fully aware of why something is cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just know if it s cringe or not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very black and white in my brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it s like that for me, I have to assume it s also like that for other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know when something is cringe, but we don t always know why it s cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think cringe is worthy of investigating because I don t think any of us want to be cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think most of us want to avoid being cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think it s possible to completely avoid being cringe, but I feel like understanding what makes something cringe maybe will be beneficial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also investigating whether or not cringe is always bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, often cringe is bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I really think about it, it s not always bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today I m going to be investigating what makes something cringe and when cringe is bad versus when cringe is maybe good?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just going to go down the cringe rabbit hole today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So first I wanted to research why we cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found an article on theface.com that referenced Dr. Dean Burnett, a neuroscientist and author of Emotional Ignorance, Lost and Found in the Science of Emotion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he says that cringing is essentially a mechanism to deter us from behaving in ways that risk us losing status or gaining the negative judgment of others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our bodies consider negative judgment to be a threat to survival." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our primitive brain reflexes don t really discern between a physical threat, example, a nearby tiger, and a psychological threat, example, potentially embarrassing ourselves in front of others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so they trigger similar responses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The subconscious desire to make yourself smaller to avoid detection or judgment means we cringe to minimize our presence until the risk has passed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sort of explains the physical reaction to cringing like when you cringe you sort of crumble up into a ball and you know" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel like cringe has sort of taken on a new meaning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s less about the physical reaction of cringing, because that s sort of an intense reaction, and it s more a genre of behavior, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s less about the literal physical reaction, and it s more about individuals actions, I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s not like I physically cringe at everything that I believe is cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like cringe is much more now than maybe it once was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a much larger umbrella now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s basically anything that s embarrassing, awkward, uncool, uncomfortable, try hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in my opinion, there are two types of cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s negative cringe, which has underlying feelings of anger and disgust, and it tends to be more embarrassing, uncomfortable, try-hard, like it tends to fall into those categories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Negative cringe tends to make you dislike someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a rare instance where you pity them a little bit, but I d say for the most part, negative cringe is infuriating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re almost mad at the person for being cringe in the way that they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I m not on your team, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s positive cringe, which tends to have underlying feelings of pity and almost a sweetness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something endearing about positive cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to fall into the category of being uncool, awkward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can cringe at something but if it s the right type of cringe you can be like, yeah that was cringe but I m still on your team." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this distinction I think is important because inevitably in life we re going to be cringed sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unavoidable but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think our goal should really be to avoid being negative cringe, the type of cringe that really alienates you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes people not want to be around you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Versus harmless, positive cringe, where it s like, yeah, maybe you did something kind of uncool, kind of awkward, but no one s leaving you in the dust for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so let s sort of dig into this now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s discuss some scenarios that make me cringe in a negative way and try to find a commonality so we can distinguish the difference between negative cringe and positive cringe so then we can go from there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, when someone shows up to a casual event in a bunch of designer clothes, and they have logos everywhere, and they re wearing sunglasses, and they have a cocky attitude, and they re being dismissive of people, and they re just being a fucking cocky, bougie asshole, that s negative cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone walks in like that, and you re like, who are you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cringe because they re putting a lot of effort into trying to make everyone around them feel smaller than them, and that rarely works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It maybe works with people who are more vulnerable or insecure, but for the most part, it just comes off as cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It comes off as trying too hard, and nobody wants to be around that type of person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, when someone parks their expensive car in front of a restaurant or in front of a bar or something and stands around it and tries to get attention for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cringe!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is cringe because this person is clearly trying to attract" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people based on something that they have rather than what they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like an immediate red flag, like this person must be lacking somewhere and they re covering it up with this car, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a very LA thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, it falls under the category of trying too hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "someone who constantly has to bring up their business success in front of people, particularly in a cocky way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s one thing if you re thriving in your career and you re like, yeah, my job s going great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about people who are going out of their way to brag about their business success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something embarrassing about not being humble." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it falls under the category of being uncomfortable because being cocky is not in good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have keen social cues, you re not gonna be cocky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, posting excessive photos of your significant other clearly in attempt to brag and flex and be like, look at what I have, you wish you had this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s cringe to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I see couples posting like hot photos together in a way that feels super manufactured, I can t help but cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They might look hot together and maybe even look like they re having fun, but you can tell when they re posting it to make other people jealous versus them posting it because they just genuinely want to share this experience that they re having." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s cringe because the viewer of this type of content can tell that it s rooted in insecurity in the relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you might not even realize that you re picking up on that when you see this type of content, but subconsciously that s how it reads." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh God, you guys are trying to prove to the world that you re happily in love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you were happily in love, would you have taken this photo?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a feeling emanating from it that screams, we re trying to prove to the world that we have a good relationship because we don t even believe we have a good relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can also read like, oh," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to get back at your ex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to make them feel like shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s all of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in some sort of insecurity somewhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s palpable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also sort of bouncing off of that, someone who s constantly reminding everyone how successful their love life is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what comes to mind is that friend you have who is always reminding you how much sex they have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m talking about?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like someone who s like, yeah, like, I don t know, like I ve gone on a lot of dates this week and like, just goes into detail about like this incredible sex that they re having." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s one thing to share these things with your friends, but it s, there s something about the tone and the intention that can make it cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s rooted in, again, insecurity, trying to be like, oh, just in case you forgot, I fuck, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how to explain it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are people who are overly sexual in a way maybe trying to overcompensate for their normal sex life or maybe their sex life is not super bustling at the moment but they maybe will exaggerate it to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "make everyone around them think, look at me, like, you know, I ve known quite a few people like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is very cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s cringe because that person is trying to weirdly be sexually dominant, not dominant, but like, for whatever reason, they want to prove to you that they re super sexually desirable more than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve known many people like this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why I m mentioning it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, when people, primarily guys, try to start a fight at a bar to impress a girl." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like anytime someone tries to pick a fight to impress someone else, that is cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s cringe because, again, it lacks social cues, so it s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it tends to be sort of awkward." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not necessarily stereotypically uncool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think stereotypically it is cool to win a fight in a way, but that s almost what makes it uncool is that anytime somebody tries to start a fight at a bar or something, it s very clear that they re trying to be cool by doing it, which then makes it uncool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, when adults try to say young slang," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be cool with the kids?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something really irritating about that when it s clear that the adult doesn t get it and isn t trying to figure it out even, just is just like haphazardly picking it up and throwing it around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s cringe and that s infuriating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are adults that can throw slang around and it works because for whatever reason, they get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they did research on it, they get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This actually goes beyond adults with kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This can sort of happen in any scenario." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just someone using terminology, slang if you will, that isn t theirs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they don t get it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s slang terms that I don t understand, whether it s because I m not on that corner of the internet, or it s not relevant where I live, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And therefore, I don t use them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not in on that joke." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not in that club." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t use that verbiage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it d be one thing if it started to click for me, it started to make sense for me, and then I start naturally using it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s when someone forces themselves to talk a certain way to try to fit into a certain group." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whether it s adults trying to be like kids or whatever, that s cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sound like such a bully today, but I ve done all the I ve probably done all these things, so it s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like I m guilty, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, so keep that in mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, I think extreme narcissism is also cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, someone who s constantly looking in the mirror, taking selfies, speaks highly of themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in unison with speaking horribly about others." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, someone who never has anything constructive to say about themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always like, I m perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have nothing to fix." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m awesome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That tends to be cringe, I think, because it s just naturally a delusional state of mind, I guess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all flawed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have work to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have areas that we need to improve." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you re living in a state where you re like, I m perfect, no one s better than me, I m the princess of the universe, that s cringe because that s impossible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one is that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re aware that no one is that, then when you see someone behaving like that, you can t really take them seriously and you see them as sort of delusional and that is cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when someone fakes interest in something to try and bond and relate with someone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can tell when somebody doesn t really understand what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like if I were to go on a date with a guy and he s really into cars, guess who s not into cars?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know shit about cars, but then I try to be like, well, my grandpa has a 1967 Ford Mustang." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually like worked on the," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "worked on it once with him one summer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the guy s like, did you really?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What kind of motor does it have?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s like awkward, because it s like obvious that you re faking it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, you know, someone s nodding and shaking their head, being like, oh, yeah, no, I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s clear that they don t know what you re talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I think is better than that is being like, I don t know anything about this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please tell me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, instead of trying to fake having something in common, which is cringe, I think it s better to be like, I m completely unfamiliar with this world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tap me in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I think that falls under the category of just trying too hard and also lying in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think lying is cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lying itself isn t maybe cringe, but then getting caught in a lie is cringe because it s like, oh, you tried to pull a fast one and you failed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of embarrassing, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another cringe example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone who tries really hard to keep up with social media trends but they don t quite get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there are certain trends that I ll never try because I just don t get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I tried to do it it would be cringe because it doesn t come naturally for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s cringe because it s clear that someone is forcing themselves to do something, you know, participate in a social media trend that doesn t fit their personality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it doesn t look right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feel right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s clearly forced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s forced in attempt to maybe go viral, maybe to feel hip and cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it doesn t come naturally to you and it s not something that you d authentically do on your own, it s clear and there s something off about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can feel it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even people trying to be cool is cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when somebody s standing in the corner of a party being all moody and whatever, or even when someone posts a photo on social media and they are clearly trying to pose really cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably do this all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s obvious that they re trying to be cool and intimidating and moody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times they can pull it off, but I d argue most of the time it s kind of cringe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are infinite examples of things that make me cringe in a negative way where I m like, oh, oh no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, not all of these things are sinister." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not all of these things are wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually think I ve probably done a lot of these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, these are all things that make somebody tough to be around for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we re all human." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every once in a while, we might accidentally do one of these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fair enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they all fall under the category of negative cringe for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what do they all have in common?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, their actions rooted in insecurity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m starting to realize that that s the root of most bad behavior." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, lack of humility." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of these things lack a sense of humility, lack a sense of self-awareness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three, they re impulsive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of these actions are impulsive, like you do these things without thinking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not well thought out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Four, they re not authentic to oneself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re clearly not authentic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have this innate sense in us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can tell when someone s not being themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t always pinpoint what it is, but we can feel it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And number five, out of touch, not self-aware." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I kind of already said not self-aware, but I m saying it again, making it its own number, because I think it s that significant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these are actions that people wouldn t probably do if they reflected on themselves and their lives a little bit harder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s discuss scenarios that make me cringe in a positive way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like harmless, sweet, innocent cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I m cringing, but I still love you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone overdressing for an event, but strutting around confidently in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, they stick out like a sore thumb." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s looking at them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look a little bit weird, but they re owning it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That makes me cringe a little bit, but because they re owning it and because they re selling it, it actually makes me respect them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "someone who s dancing horribly at a party like imagine somebody standing in the corner at a party just dancing like a freak okay it s weird to watch it s actually kind of uncomfortable to watch they re in their own world they re deep in it it s cringy to watch but they re confident in their moves they re confident in their moves and they re having a good time and they re dancing for them they re dancing because they enjoy dancing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cringe, but again, you have to respect it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can t watch something like that and not feel a little bit of respect for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, when someone is interested in things that I find to be really weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say someone s obsessed with baby dolls and they love baby dolls so much that when they re home alone, they eat dinner with their baby dolls and they set up their baby dolls all around their table and they eat dinner with their baby dolls and they talk to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a little cringe, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s unusual to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hear something like that and I m like, what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if somebody can talk about those things to me and show me passion about them," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might cringe a little bit, but my cringe quickly gets replaced by curiosity and there s something endearing about someone who has a weird hobby or thing that they like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be a couple" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who is inherently cringe, like their wedding photos are just overdone over the top, and it s cringe, and they constantly are participating in PDA, and they always post photos of each other on Instagram, but you can tell that they re doing it for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can tell it has nothing to do with anyone else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can just tell, you can feel in your core that they re doing it for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re sharing it with the world because they re like, we don t know what else to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know any other way to live." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re so passionate about each other that there s no other way for us to take wedding photos, but to make them over the top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way for us to be in public without being all over each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Social media is about posting about your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what else to post about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just in love with my Significant other you can tell when there are couples like that where it s just genuine love and obsession and it is cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so cringe It s like stop you guys." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so cringe, but also don t stop because this is actually beautiful and rare You guys just genuinely are this obsessed with each other?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s endearing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Enjoy it It s making me uncomfortable, but I can t help but be on your team" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could go on all day, but I can t make an entire episode of just examples of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things do undeniably make me cringe, but it s in a benign way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what all these things have in common is that even though they re uncool, they re weird, they re uncomfortable," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re genuine and there s confidence involved." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not trying to be something that they re not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so even though the action in itself is cringe, it s received in a loving way because it s rooted in somebody being their authentic self." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, here s the ultimate question, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it possible to never be cringe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that inevitably, we are all cringe sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say your goal is to never be cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you act a certain way, you carry yourself a certain way in order to avoid being cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to do the coolest," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "trendiest, hottest things possible in order to fit in, be cool, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I don t think that that works because a lot of times that shit is cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re trying to be something that you re not, you will end up being cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of the negatively cringey examples I had today were examples of people trying to be cool and it obviously not working because it s unnatural." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So inevitably, if you re trying to be cool and trendy and whatever, you re gonna end up being negatively cringed sometimes, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s inevitable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, let s say you are dedicated to being completely yourself, quirks and all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still gonna be cringe, because we all have some weird shit about us, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also inevitable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, the type of cringe that you will be is different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Based on the examples I listed today of positive cringe, if you re being completely yourself, quirks and all, you re still gonna be cringe, but you re gonna be cringe in a positive way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s the worst case scenario." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we all have to risk being cringe in order to be less cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re afraid of being cringe, we try too hard and then we re more cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you surrender to the fact that we re all going to be cringe sometimes, but the way to be the least amount of cringe is to just be yourself quirks and all and just let it all out and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll end up being less cringe at the end of the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I think it s better to be completely yourself and be cringed sometimes because it s received well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cringe at people that I love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People that I love cringe at me, but they re cringing at something that is genuinely, authentically me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if anything, it makes them love me more and vice versa." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cringe about little quirks in people that I love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh God, why are you doing that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s them though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re confident in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They own it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s authentic to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And over time, it actually becomes something that you love about the person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when you accept that you will be cringe regardless, your fear of being cringe slowly starts to dissipate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the reason why this is great is because then you can be more confident in who you are, which will then, ironically, make you less cringe because you will be being yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fear of cringe makes you more cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The desire to be cool and to fit in makes you cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The acceptance of who you are as you are, quirks and all, makes you cooler and less cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think nobody s truly cool, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I made a whole episode about that, how nobody s actually cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to listen to that, go listen to that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But everyone is cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are just better at hiding it, but they re cringe too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is all my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is all my analysis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can shoot me a message on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow the Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen to new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen anywhere you stream podcasts, but watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, ChamberlainCoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please let me know your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hopefully, I ll get to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna go be positively cringe today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I don t know what that looks like yet, but I ll figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just the fact that I have a Stanley Cup two feet away from me right now is a little cringe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something cringe about that, but I love my Stanley Cup, so, and it s authentically me that I love this stupid cup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, like maybe that s how I ll be cringe today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who knows?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, okay, I love you all, and I appreciate you all, and thank you for listening and hanging out with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always such a treat, and I ll be talking to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have a beautiful day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "TTYL." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to be human today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is to be stressed out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re stressed out, I m stressed out, we re all stressed out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is why I m so excited to be talking to Dr. Aditi Nirukar today about stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like the stress doctor, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s a Harvard physician, a nationally recognized stress expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s a lecturer at Harvard Medical School in the Division of Global Health and Social Medicine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her work has been featured everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re talking about Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Oprah Magazine, Architectural Digest, Elle Magazine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, she s a rock star, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s also the author of The Five Resets, Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s really special about her is that she is very aware of modern stressors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s very aware of" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the way that modern technology meets our biological caveman brains to create a high-stress world today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her focus is truly helping people and making people less stressed, not, well," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you start a successful startup and you make billions of dollars, then you won t be stressed because you ll be on a yacht." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that her approach is" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "incredibly reasonable, incredibly doable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like she speaks to me in a way that I can understand so that I can apply the things that she discusses into my life so that I can slay harder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because isn t that what it s all about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just finding ways to slay a little bit harder?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what it s all about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without further ado, let me present to you" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dr. Aditi Nehrukar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here she is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, let s start out with what made you want to get into healthcare and stress as a topic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you a stressed out person?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that what drew you to this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or through your studies, did you realize, oh God, this is a huge issue?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I became an expert and a doctor with an expertise in stress because I was a stress patient looking for answers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was a medical resident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was in my second year of medical training working 80 hours a week, seeing death and dying on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had a very sort of light bulb moment I was in the cardiac ICU rounding on my patients I had just worked a 30 hour shift, and I was seeing a patient and then I had palpitations in my chest it felt like a stampede of wild horses in the middle of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "work day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I like sat down, my nurse who I d been working with for a long time came over and gave me some orange juice and we laughed it off because it lasted a few seconds and it went away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She noticed right away that something was wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is when she was like, oh, it s probably nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "probably just have a little, you know, it s low blood sugar." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, yeah, I didn t sleep well last night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "None of us, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re working 80 hours a week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a 30 hour shift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then that was sort of my awakening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went home and every night for two to three weeks straight, it would never happen during the day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as I was going to bed, I would get the stampede of wild horses across my chest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was terrifying, Emma, because I ve never experienced anything like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "nor now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been 25 years and that was like my only experience of that debilitating stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went to see a doctor because what are you going to do if you re feeling this way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the doctor did the million dollar workup, did my blood tests and heart ultrasound and EKG and everything and told me you re fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything s good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t worry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Big smile." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just try to relax." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve all been there in medical training." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I was like, OK, what does it mean to relax?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just try to relax." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I did what everyone does." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what do you do when someone says, just try to relax?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I watched movies, spent time with my friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went shopping." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had a spa day, hung out with my family, went to good dinners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing helped." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It kept happening over and over." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s when I kind of put my scientist hat on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I said, hang on, stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My first reaction was actually stress doesn t happen to people like me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, we can talk about that, like this idea of like stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s like I m resilient." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not getting stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not getting stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m a doctor in training." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I had been taught at a very young age" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You, it was like my, I don t know, second month of medical school, and I was sitting in an auditorium." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To this day, I ll never forget it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the person who said it, he was a professor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He sat us all down and he said, you are going through something that very few people in the world have ever experienced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to be a physician." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in that process, just remember, pressure makes diamonds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you re going through a process working 80 hours a week and you re like, pressure makes diamonds, I m a diamond in the making." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then my diamond cracked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I had to address it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s sort of my origin story, my villain origin story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "story of how I became a doctor with an expertise in stress because I was looking for answers, didn t find them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just try to relax wasn t enough because what does that even mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t really help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then when I put my scientist hat on, I started doing all of the research of what is stress?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How does it impact your brain and your body?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how can you get out of that mode?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I found my way out of the dark tunnel of stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I feel like the first step to understanding something is actually knowing what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like everybody throws the word stress around constantly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, what an overused word." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re always talking like, oh, I m stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh, she s stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why she s doing that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But and people get angry at me at times because I love defining things in the most simple terms, but it s so helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is stress?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in its simple terms?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love this question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We say we re always like, oh, I m so stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, you re so stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This week is going to be so stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are actually two kinds of stress and not all stress is created equal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s healthy stress, good stress in scientific terms." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I won t get too scientific, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s called adaptive stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Adaptive stress is things like rooting for your favorite sports team, getting a promotion, getting a new job, your hosting gig at the Met Ball." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Healthy, positive stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It moves your life forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe buying a house or graduating from school or getting a new dog or a pet or having a new baby." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of these things are versions of positive, healthy stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is biologically impossible to live a life with zero stress, and that is not the goal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The goal is to live a life with healthy, manageable stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, when the other kind of stress is unhealthy stress, in scientific terms, it s maladaptive stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maladaptive stress is what you and I, when we hear the word stress or in pop culture," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is maladaptive stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s dysfunctional, unproductive, and harmful to your brain and your body." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So all of the ways that we can feel stress, there s mental manifestations, there s physical manifestations, and the goal is to really transform that unhealthy stress, bring it back to balance to healthy, manageable stress so it can move your life forward and it can serve you rather than harm you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So those are really the key differences." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why, on like an evolutionary level, why do humans get stressed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We developed the ability to get stressed because it is a protective mechanism." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a way for us to feel safe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we were all cave people living together in tribes," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are we would go out foraging for food, let s say, and you see a tiger in the forest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your fight or flight response is activated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is your stress response." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s governed by a piece of your brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s called the amygdala." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a small almond-shaped structure deep in your brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the amygdala is what drives your stress response forward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you see a tiger in a forest, you can either fight or you can flee." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why we call it the fight or flight response." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your heart starts racing so that it pumps oxygen and blood throughout your muscles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your lungs breathe quickly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start having rapid, shallow breathing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what anxious breathing is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s stressful breathing to get more oxygen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your blood is shunted away from vital organs and to muscles so you can either fight or flee." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your pupils dilate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s a real biological response that s happening in the body when you have the fight or flight response." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it is a way to keep you safe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, after those times when people were cave dwellers, there would be a moment of respite." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The tiger, you would either flee or fight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you would bring yourself back to equilibrium." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The challenge with modern day stress is that amygdala is always in the background." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your fight or flight response is always in the background." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because all of these tigers, we re not fighting tigers in the forest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of our tigers now are metaphorical tigers that never seem to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "go away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Relationship problems, financial troubles, health issues, climate anxiety, so many things that just are on always in the background." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And therefore your amygdala is always on in the background." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s a part of our mechanism." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you are feeling that chronic sense of stress, it s not you, it s your biology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, your brain and your body are experts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "designed to handle short bursts of acute stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s when it becomes chronic that it becomes a problem, and that s when burnout can set in, and all of the health problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a little bit of healthy stress is okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Keeps you safe, protected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That amygdala, it is about survival and self-preservation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the only role of the amygdala." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you think cave people had that sort of maladaptive stress, like that non-helpful stress, or do you think that s new?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am not an evolutionary biologist, but what is interesting is if you think about the onslaughts, it s kind of the same rationale as when people say, young people, they can t really handle stress like the old people used to, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hear that all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You guys aren t as hardy or as resilient as we used to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I always argue to say that the onslaughts that young people are facing with technology, with financial struggles or all of these things, it s ongoing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s different than the onslaughts that the older generation was facing in the same way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Evolutionarily speaking, of course there was, you know, there was fear of famine or home issues with cave dwellers, but it likely wasn t something that was 24-7." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Again, I m not an evolutionary biologist, but it just seems to me that now the modern day stressors are ongoing, continuous, and they never seem to go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other thing to kind of think about is, I use this analogy in my book, The Five Resets, about this night watchman." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you think about yourself, so the amygdala is always in overdrive when you re feeling stressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And evolutionarily speaking, when the tribe would sleep, there was a night watchman who would scan for danger so the tribe could rest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we are all our own night watchman because we are all feeling a sense of hyper-vigilance and a heightened sense of fear and we re nervous about our own survival and self-preservation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we scroll." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so how do we do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We scroll on social media or we scroll reading headlines or news and all of these ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in many ways, we are creating our own stress because we are just feeling that sense of constant danger and we re looking around and scanning the environment at all times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Back during cave dweller days, there might have been one person who was assigned and designated for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, the way our modern world is working, it s just really different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re all doing that all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hence that amygdala always on in the background." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s probably why it s so addicting to read" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The news to, you know, scroll on social media and find all the stuff that makes us feel bad is because we re programmed to find that to protect ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now it s everywhere and it s so readily available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what s funny about it is that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Technically, we can survive without it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Before, we needed to look out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We needed to protect ourselves from these bad things, from bad news." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Whereas now, it s like, technically, we don t have to look at all that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s a moral dilemma that I don t want to get into, but it s like, that s very fascinating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like we re bearing the weight of the entire world s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "stress on our own back all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All day, every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hear a lot like, well, it s our responsibility as human beings to be aware of what s going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s a huge ask of humanity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can we handle that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a beautiful question." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I would say that it s really important to be an informed citizen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Agreed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I work in journalism." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My two loves are medicine and journalism, and I deeply believe that it s our responsibility to know what is happening in the world and to be informed as citizens so that we can act in positive, productive ways, whether it means donating, whether it means" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Calling out certain causes and amplifying things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is not about censorship We want to make sure that people are engaged and you know, yes Unfortunately, you can t do that at all times 24-7 it you cannot do that at the expense of your mental health and so it s about preserving and protecting your mental health so that you can be the amplifier of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and the engaged, informed citizen that you want to be about causes that you believe in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so there s like a balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about striking a balance and knowing when is your stress something that you can harness for good versus it becoming, you know, like Spider-Man, it s a blessing or a curse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Same kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, when is your stress something that can be used for good to improve humanity versus something that is going to be a curse on yourself, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, this is not about anyone bigger than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, when is your stress going to get so out of hand with you engaging in news?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because studies show that when you are engaged with graphic content, whether it be" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "videos or if you re reading lots of things, there s lots of humanitarian crises in the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as you are engaging and consuming that information, you yourself, without actually having been in that conflict area, you are thousands of miles away, you can be impacted firsthand and develop signs of PTSD, which was a shocking finding in the research done by a researcher here in California, in fact." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she found, her group found, Dr. Silver," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Roxanne Silver, she found that people who consumed graphic images and content of things happening thousands of miles away increased their personal risk of PTSD and their risk of health conditions years later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you are consuming the news or headlines or social media or all of these things, first it s important to recognize that it s not your fault." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s your primal urge to scroll." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you feel stressed, that amygdala is fired." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re scanning for danger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are your own night watchman." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And clickbait works on the biology of stress, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start feeling stressed, you feel hypervigilant, so then you scroll some more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then that increases." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a feedback loop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it increases your sense of hypervigilance, so you keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you find yourself coming down this rabbit hole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what s fascinating is that this scrolling is not benign." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not like, oh, I can just shut it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s hard to shut off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But this idea that you cannot, it has to be all or nothing, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can still be an informed citizen, consume the news, do it in a way that feels responsible and good for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do it in a way that makes you take action on issues that matter without compromising your mental health." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is the fine line." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s hard because it s a slippery slope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as you consume, you want to consume more and more and more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you can do various things to reset your stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The key is to create digital boundaries because we have boundaries in every relationship in our life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have boundaries with ourselves, with our partners, our children, our coworkers, our family members." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why don t we have a boundary when it comes to the relationship that we have with our devices?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s almost like that boundary is like a boundary with yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think that s the hardest boundary, like boundaries that you create with yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They re so hard to uphold because you are the checks and balances." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know I have moments where I feel like I have two sides of my brain fighting each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I have this, it is like a devil and an angel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve always felt like I have that in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s a hard thing to manage, but it is worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s so worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "To sort of further demonstrate why it s so worth it," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Explain to me how stress impacts a human s well-being." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, how does stress presence in someone s body impact their well-being on a day-to-day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The thing with stress that is so difficult is, first, let me just paint the picture of the data." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "70% of people across industry, regardless of industry, regardless of what job that you have," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "70% of people, regardless of industry, have at least one feature of stress or burnout right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like saying in a room of 30 people, 21 people are struggling with stress and or burnout." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you are feeling any of these things, you are not the exception." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are the rule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How does stress manifest?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is such a personal thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People have mental manifestations of stress and physical manifestations of stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So certain mental manifestations of stress could be anxiety, depression, insomnia, hypervigilance, irritability, quick to anger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On the other side of the spectrum, lethargy, fatigue, not motivated, unproductive, or bored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many flavors of stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Flavors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "physical symptoms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people have no mental manifestations and get physical manifestations of symptoms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sure you have friends or family members who say, oh, I don t know, my back just feels weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or you get neck pain, or shoulder pain, or abdominal pain, dizziness, nausea, tingling, numbness, headaches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are so many kinds of physical manifestations of stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The key is first, of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, if you are feeling any of these things, to go see your doctor, because that s always important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a doctor, I always have to say that to get the full workup, like I did when I was having the palpitations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to a doctor and I said, the stampede of wild horses, is it something to be worried about?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it my heart?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it something, you know, what is it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So once your doctor does the whole workup of whatever symptom you have," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then they tell you it s probably just stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything checks out okay, it s stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stress in medical terms is a diagnosis of exclusion, meaning we have ruled out everything else and then we say it s probably your stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One statistic, which is really the genesis of why I decided to do the work that I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is because one study back in the 1980s found that 60% to 80% of all primary care visits with doctors had a stress-related component." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That means that someone has abdominal pain or headaches or something, and they go to see their doctor, they do the full workup, and they re like, it s nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that happens 60% to 80% of times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not to say stress causes these symptoms, but stress makes things worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet, only 3% of doctors counsel their patients for stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of that is because doctors were 20 for them to really do their job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, a doctor has to work 27 hours a day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has 27 hours a day right to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s lots of it s not an individual failing of physicians." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the system that s really broken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also not the individual feeling of people to say, I don t know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this stress?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it not?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really hard to pin down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like this multi-hyphenate performer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t pin stress down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And stress, typically, with most people, it presents a certain way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I call it the canary in the coal mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an analogy I like to use." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this idea of, historically, coal miners would go down into the mines and they would take a canary, a bird, down with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When the air got bad, the bird would stop singing and the canary would stop singing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they would look around and say, okay, time to go up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why didn t they recognize that in themselves?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They couldn t recognize that the air was bad because humans historically, we are just bad historians." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t tell when something is happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the canary stopping to sing was the first tell." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So often" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you will notice that there is certain things happen to you when you are feeling stressed before it becomes a major issue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s irritability." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For people, no sleep disturbances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of nodded when I said anxiety." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people feel anxious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s like this tell your own canary of, wait, something s up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s not right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But often, because we re bad historians, we re like, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just keep going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just keep going." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you get into trouble." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s also like when you re not dying," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So many people are like, well, I m not dying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I m just going to live with this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think we sort of gaslight ourselves into believing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re fine or like everybody s dealing with this, so it s like I m not going to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "make a fuss about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I also think a lot of people, again, you know, you made a really interesting point about out of 30 people, 21 are stressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, being stressed is the rule." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, again," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve sort of normalized being stressed out, and it s almost like if you re not stressed out, well, are you working hard enough?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you even getting your job?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you re lazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re not stressed out, you re lazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We kind of live in that sort of time, which is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a manifestation of hustle culture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this idea of toxic resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I was seeing my doctor and that doctor said to me, you re probably stressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first reaction, like I said to you, was stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stressful to have little people like me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m resilient because I bought into the resilience myth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is that resilient people can t get burned out and can t get stressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know based on data now that is absolutely false, categorically untrue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Resilience is protective, but it s not enough to prevent burnout or stress, especially now, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "21 people out of 30 are facing some form of stress or burnout." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this idea of hustle culture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We, when you hear the word resilience now, Emma, you and I and everyone else, we bristle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like, oh, that word, like it s just has a bad connotation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas true, because we ve kind of made it into toxic resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in 2018, 2019, you heard the word resilience, and it was a positive word because it was true resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In scientific terms, resilience is your ability to adapt, recover, and grow in the face of life s challenges." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without a little bit of healthy stress, there can be no resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a little bit of stress for resilience to show itself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, over the past like four to five years, that has morphed and it s no longer true resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you hear the word resilience, it is toxic resilience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a manifestation of hustle culture and corporations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much messaging did we get in our workplaces?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just power through." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can take on this deadline." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re resilient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the past several years, right, we ve all lived through" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "individual and collective trauma and stress through global events that have occurred over the past four to five years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so now that word has taken on a sinister and dark meaning because it is no longer this positive, uplifting thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when you say that, you know, it s about" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People just feel like, oh, this is what s going to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m stressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m burnt out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We cannot let this way of being, which is feeling a sense of maladaptive stress and it being dysfunctional, it can t be a badge of honor anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to change the script and debunk this idea of toxic resilience and really stand in our true resilience, which, by the way, true resilience honors your human limitations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It honors your boundaries, your human boundaries to say no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It celebrates saying no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it leans into this idea of self-compassion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we need a lot of grace and self-compassion now more than ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It should be that the more privileged you are in your life, you know, the more comfortable that your life is, the less stressed that you are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It seems humans are, they wanna find stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost like we re hungry for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so even when somebody, this isn t across the board, but it s like I ve just noticed a lot of unnecessary stress in the lives of people who really, they shouldn t be stressed at all on paper." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are two kinds of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this gets to that idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say that because I have worked in clinical medicine and I ve seen so many patients from so many walks of life, stress is really the great equalizer that no matter how much money you have or what job you have or whether you have a roof over your head or not or whether you have food in your fridge or pantry or not, stress is really the great equalizer and it s part of the human condition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yes, I think that stress across the board, people feel a lot of stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you re speaking about is, you know, so someone has this beautiful home and many cars and all of these degrees and can buy anything, and yet how can they feel a sense of stress, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this idea of hedonic happiness and the different kinds of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s about humans being meaning-seeking, purpose-driven creatures." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you chase hedonic happiness, and it s something that is really perpetuated in our society, especially in the modern age, but always," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You chase, you know, the fancy restaurants and trips and yachts and private planes and beautiful homes and nice bags and all of these things, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are all manifestations of hedonic happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is something in your brain called the hedonic treadmill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is that we all have a set point of hedonic happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can, this is why lottery winners, they win the lottery and you think, okay, they re not going to have any stress and they re going to be happy forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you kind of get back to your baseline level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s, it s, and you know, you buy this, I don t know, maybe you run into a ton of money and buy a $20 million home and you think that s it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to solve all of my problems." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you end up not solving all of your problems and you end up feeling stressed because we have a hedonic treadmill." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not to say that if you don t have the means, we know that people who don t have financial means and who are impoverished do have more stress just because you are working on, you re focusing on survival and self-preservation, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s this hedonic treadmill that we hit a set point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what is the antidote to that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about another kind of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s eudaimonic happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And eudaimonic happiness is about contentment, meaning, purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for you, Emma, you re engaged in all of these pursuits and that brings you deep meaning, fulfillment, and joy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A different kind of happiness than if you were hanging out with your friends and taking a fabulous trip to, I don t know, Italy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wonderful, magical, but a different kind of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s about a marriage of the two and really focusing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We focus so much on hedonic happiness, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what you were describing, that lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s about, yes, of course we want hedonic happiness, but we also want to manage our stress by creating some eudaimonic happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the fascinating thing about these two different kinds of happiness is that our bodies know the difference." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There has been science done which our cells showed these different kinds of happiness affect our cells in a" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "different way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Decreased inflammation, all of these fascinating things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And your body knows the difference between these two kinds of happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe it s because when you re only focused on hedonic happiness, then it s so short lived that you re always looking for another hit of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And trying to get another hit of it is stressful because it s like you start to become numb to things like going to your favorite restaurant doesn t mean anything anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s almost too easy to only find your happiness there when it s available and there s no reason to not go in that easy direction." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can then," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "abandon the more challenging direction, which then, yeah, leads you back to your baseline because of lack of discipline, I guess, in a way, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like maybe that s what I m, that s, maybe that s what it is in that scenario, like why that happens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know about lack of discipline because then you re putting the onus on yourself and that might not feel, you know, you re not giving yourself enough grace because when you are feeling a sense of stress," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you are living in the here and now and you re focused on survival and self-preservation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re feeling in that resilient state or the normal state, many people can t even remember what they were like in their normal state right now, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That area of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, which is an area right behind your forehead," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is that area of the brain that governs all of these things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you are living in amygdala stress mode, it s hard to get out of your own way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to get out of that immediate fight or flight mechanism, survival, self-preservation, protection, and to start thinking about a different way, which is led by the prefrontal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "cortex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So in many ways, if you start kind of, and the other thing that happens with stress is that you start, your inner critic starts to hold a megaphone and say, you re not good enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll never achieve this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why even try?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those harmful messages you tell yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you are feeling that sense of stress or burnout, as we know, most people are, 70% of people feel that way, saying to yourself that you need more discipline." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to do better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to, you know," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "change your way your happiness in a good in the in a fulfilling yeah yeah that s true instead instead just give yourself lots of grace have a lens of self-compassion and start small you don t have to think about eudaimonic happiness like what makes me happy and what fulfills me and what s my purpose get out of your head and into your body go for a five minute walk every single day commit to that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Commit to some digital boundaries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Commit to protecting your sleep like the vital resource it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fill your tank." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many of us are running on fumes, and it s hard to think about these big, grandiose things like purpose and meaning when you re just trying to get through the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You biologically can t, in fact." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, you definitely can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a different part of your brain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t be even remotely philosophical when you re in a state of burnout or when you re in a state of stress because that takes this almost impossible nowadays sort of balance in your brain to be able to focus" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "on that level, like it s just, and I think it s a shame because I think so many people want to tap into that side of themselves and they can t because we re all so stressed out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s interesting because in 2024, you might think, oh, I got through this like horrible thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be feeling amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people are feeling worse now than they did in 2020." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s the delayed stress reaction." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everyone is wondering, why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I feel worse now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be celebrating, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is because that is not how your brain works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain is built like a dam." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so during difficult moments, like what we ve all lived through, we shore up our internal reserves and we keep it together at all costs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about your life, Emma, to periods of time that have been really difficult periods of time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chances are, many of us, you keep it together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, there are people who break down and you have moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you keep it together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You shore up your internal reserves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then once the acute crisis passes, I ve seen this with my cancer patients over and over." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They come to see me on the day of diagnosis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They go through their treatment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t shed a tear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When they get that clean bill of health, their oncologist says, congrats, your cancer is cured." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in my office the next day weeping." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing that would happen to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would see patients, and I was seeing so many patients in the clinic, never had palpitations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At night, going to bed, finally relaxed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when the palpitations came." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so now all of us collectively" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have come out of a really difficult time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are finally feeling psychologically safe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our defenses are down now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They weren t down in 2020, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were very keyed up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all feeling more relaxed and calm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not feeling a sense of imminent threat or danger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our true emotions are emerging, and it s a deluge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that is why our dams, collectively, individually, have broken." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s all coming out now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, my anxiety has been so bad over the last year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it feels like it s all coming out now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, this is so resonating with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it does feel like almost... It feels like a direct response to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I can feel that connection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel those strings there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s so interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I feel like we all... We really all kind of just let it pass, and then now we re like, oh, we re all back to normal now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think a lot of people feel really off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really freaked out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we haven t processed what we ve gone through." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain and body are not designed to sustain this level, this cyclical level of trauma, onslaught, grief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s just going on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is no respite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain and your body can handle short bursts of stress as long as your brain and body come back into equilibrium." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we ve had no equilibrium." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve had no recovery time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like a muscle, your brain is a muscle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So with your biceps, you go to the gym and you work out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you give yourself a rest day with arms, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might do legs or whatever it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You give yourself that rest day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your muscle recovers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you go back to the gym the next day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or two days later, and then you can work out a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you were lifting heavy weights and doing, I don t know, dumbbell presses every single day for four years straight, how would your biceps be reacting?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain needs a rest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain is a muscle, just like your bicep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you need a little bit of rest and recovery to regroup, and then you can come back stronger, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something called post-traumatic growth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s lots of things that can happen, but if you never have that moment of pause or respite, it all has to come out somewhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think a lot of people right now are very confused because like you, Emma, people are feeling anxiety, depression, insomnia, and they re wondering why, because their messaging that we have been told in our society is everything s great now," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Back to normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, we lost a lot of headway, so let s make up for it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s work harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, wait a second." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We didn t even take a beat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain and body certainly didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that is why you are feeling all of these things now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s important to know that this is a normal biological process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing wrong with you if you re feeling worse now than you were in 2020." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s everything right with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain and body are acting exactly as they should." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only way around is through." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You mentioned earlier how when you were going through your moment of stress and you were having the stampede at night in the heart, on the chest, and you tried all these things to make the stress go away and it didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why did those things not work?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like, how do you actually target stress and get rid of it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because you can t just, you know, go have a spa day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, that s a Band-Aid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to find the root cause and change it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, change something about your life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that the only cure?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, what is the ultimate cure for stress?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I am with you all the way in terms of getting to the root cause and trying to change it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But unfortunately for most of us, we can t change it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are systemic forces at play." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so whether it be financial constraints or parenting constraints or" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, responsibilities and roles in our lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t just say, hey, I m going to check out, see you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to Bali for six months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go on a surf trip or live in Paris for three months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone in L.A." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "has no problem doing that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sign me up for that life plan." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the reality is that ninety nine point nine nine percent of people can t go to Bali for six months and go on a surf trip." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the solution there?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first is to give yourself a lot of compassion and see and understand that if you re feeling like this, and you know, you have to parent yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the first sort of approach." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m a mom, and I have lots of rules for about bedtime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and screen time and all of these things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did too as a child." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know how that works in society." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We set limits and boundaries for our children." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have a certain bedtime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have a certain time to go outside and play and move their bodies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have certain nutritional guidelines, screen time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t we do that for ourselves?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t we learn to parent ourselves?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is challenging, but it can be done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the first reframe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t have to be about morality or right from wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can simply be, I m going to learn to parent myself better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So knowing what your boundaries are and when you ve exceeded them, rather than being like the coal miner and just powering through, understanding like, hey, wait a second, my canary stopped singing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to, you know, I need to get out of this mine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The air is bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So understanding what that is, it s not about a large systemic change." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love a large systemic change, but when are we, I think we got to wait a long time for that to happen, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to happen in the moment, in today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s about building some of ways to manage your stress and reset your stress using your brain and your body and the biology of stress right in the messy middle of your overscheduled life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one very clear example." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Aiming for a 10 o clock bedtime." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embrace your inner grandmother or grandfather and go to bed at 10." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I feel like grandparents stay up much later than young people these days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they love Jimmy Kimmel." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because they re living life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have to stay up for Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They love that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, they re living their best life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My parents are grandparents and they re living their best life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead, okay, maybe we use another analogy instead of Greg Barry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inner baby, maybe, like inner baby." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inner baby, I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because babies love going to bed at night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, they don t, though." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t sleep either." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do humans ever go to bed at a reasonable hour?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe never." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we should be the first generation that is doing this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really engaging and practicing self-care." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We use the word self-care and self-love a lot, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We throw that word around." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But instead, understanding that there are certain biological mechanisms that your brain and body need" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for rest and recovery and prioritizing rest and recovery, not as a nice to have, not something that will happen when, you know, when my children grow up, when I have less work, when this happens and that happens." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, rest and recovery have to happen right here, right now, today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so really protecting that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So making sure that you are going to bed at a decent hour, 10 p.m." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is based on data, is shown to be most protective." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hours between 10 and midnight are the most restorative for sleep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So creating some digital boundaries, getting your phone off your nightstand." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things have downstream effects because if you re not scrolling, if your phone isn t on your nightstand, you re not scrolling at night, you re going to bed at 10." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a direct competitor with our sleep, our screen time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in many ways biologically because that blue light from your screen is keeping you awake at night, it s activating the awake mechanism in your brain, and also psychologically because you re consuming lots of difficult things and then continuing to scroll because your stress response is high." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, when you keep your phone off your nightstand in the morning, 50% of people first thing on waking, whether they ve had a restful night or not, will scroll their phones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is just" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "habit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s underreported." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s probably higher than more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s probably definitely higher than 70, 80 percent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, when you keep it off your nightstand, you create a geographical boundary, which means that you wake up, you let your eyes adjust to the light." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may be taking a deep breath or two." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not talking about, you know, spending an hour before checking your phone a few minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That short stopgap can change the tenor of your entire day, moving your body a little." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that when you sit for long periods of time, there s this" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "saying, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sitting is the new smoking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you sit for long periods of time and you feel that sense of anxiety or depression and you really just feel so heavy in your body, five minutes of a walk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Commit to it every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can lace up your sneakers." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the hardest part, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then try for 10 minutes the next day, and then 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to find a way to avoid the all or nothing fallacy and saying, well, if the system isn t going to get fixed, why even bother?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, when you do these small resets, we re talking five minutes, it can help your biology of stress for your brain and body." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And science shows that even 10 seconds of a break during the day can have an impact on your brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there was this beautiful study done with two groups of people and they looked at brain scans." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was done by Microsoft." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one group had, took no breaks, just worked straight through the day, Zoom meetings and lots of, you know, various things that we all have to manage throughout the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other group took short 10 minute breaks throughout the day, I think anywhere from four to five." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The number doesn t really matter, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of the day, they found that the group that took breaks cumulatively, they looked at brain scans, and found that that group that took breaks had less stress throughout the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the day, better cognition, attention, focus, and all of these things to preserve the prefrontal cortex." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other thing that I would suggest is while we are trying to work on the broader system, but how do you manage your stress in the day-to-day, is to really think about what you are doing during the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for example, multitasking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Multitasking, we all do it all day long." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we think like, oh, this is something good for our productivity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Multitasking is a scientific misnomer." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is no such thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you are multitasking, what your brain is doing is task switching." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re doing two separate tasks in rapid succession." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though 100% of us, Emma, think that we are excellent multitaskers, you might think you are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to think that I was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth is only 2% of human brains can effectively multitask." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you are a true multitasker, likely you are part of that 98% who is task switching." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there is no such thing as multitasking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a myth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, the antidote to multitasking, and the thing with multitasking is it weakens your prefrontal cortex." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It decreases productivity, decreases concentration, memory," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and ironically decreases productivity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the antidote to multitasking is monotasking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what monotasking means is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you have an hour to finish four tasks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is multitasking?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have everything going all at once, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead, monotasking is kind of like having a dinner party, and if you re cooking four dishes, it s focusing on one thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do a time block of 10 or 15 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus on the one task." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then take a break." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Build that science into your life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take a five-minute break." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take a 10-second break if you can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then focus on the second task, 10 or 15 minutes, then take another break." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the end of the hour, you ve finished all four tasks, you have monotasked, and you have preserved your prefrontal cortex, which is all about solving complex problems." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many complex problems in the world we cannot afford to multitask." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So aim to monotask instead." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just did this the other day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was thinking about how much stress" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I experience from picking out an outfit every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You look amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is an example of me being like, I m done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to snap into a uniform." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I might do that because I calculated how many hours I spend picking out an outfit every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also weighed the pros and cons." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does this make me happy?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause I do enjoy fashion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I love fashion, but on a day to day basis, constantly making these choices, I was like, this kind of, this kind of has a net negative impact on my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I do love it, but I don t think it s working for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I m in this phase right now where I m sort of stepping back and looking at all the things that I do and sort of analyzing" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are they working for me?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I don t think we do that enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think there s a lot of hidden stressors that we don t think about that accumulate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what you re really bringing forward is this idea that we all have a limited amount of bandwidth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not this thing that just grows on trees where, oh, bandwidth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want more bandwidth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the problem with toxic resilience, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you can do more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just do more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just work harder." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Expand your bandwidth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As if we can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s biologically impossible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You all, we all have a set amount of bandwidth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be different for different people based on your personal experience, your circumstances, your resources." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many factors that go into bandwidth, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what is bandwidth and how is it that, but to really understand that we all have a finite amount." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you are spending 20 minutes every day picking out your outfit, there s lots of people, by the way, I think Steve Jobs, you mentioned Apple." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think he was one of them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Einstein may have been another." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Full uniform." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Einstein had white shirts and gray pants and Steve Jobs had black turtleneck and jeans." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just an entire wardrobe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it was like one less decision to make because ultimately what happens is when you are, you have to take into account decision fatigue." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you are constantly making many decisions all day, every day, it s a way to streamline." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think for you when you re saying, you know, you love fashion, of course, when you re going to the med ball, of course, you re going to be thinking about fashion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And planning your outfits or you have a big event." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the day to day, you re like, does it make sense?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I would actually say to you is hearing you say that you re thinking about this, you re thinking about the different areas of your life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That, to me, tells me that you are not feeling a sense of acute stress, that you are very much living in that thriving mode in the prefrontal cortex because you are forward thinking, strategizing, planning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So congratulations for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, because I don t actually think I m very stressed right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think you ve really stepped into that idea of, you know, meaning, purpose, mission." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you have all of these ideas of to be able to do all of those things out there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do I need to do in my day-to-day to streamline?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But to get there, it s taken you years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s been the most turbulent journey." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a sense of relief, though, when you do figure out, OK, what am I trying to do?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, where can I provide value to the world in some way?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t need to be huge." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be for five people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, what is that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, that s what s so hard about" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the period before you discover maybe what your purpose is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You spread yourself so thin because you re just throwing everything at the wall like what s going to stick." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting because that s making me realize how not having a clear goal in life" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can cause a lot of stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in moments of my life where I ve been aimless, that s when I ve been the most stressed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when I ve been the most overwhelmed because I don t know where to direct my energy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel all like sprawled out all over the place." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, have you noticed that having a distinct goal or, it doesn t even need to be big, it can be," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanna have a, let s say you re pregnant, I wanna have a healthy pregnancy, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is a big goal, but you know what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, very tangible and concrete." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, like the first step." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that helps?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course, it helps." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the first step." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I call it the MOST goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s having a MOST goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s your North Star." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s your why." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do you want to have less stress so I can achieve X, Y, and Z?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your MOST goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "M-O-S-T, it s an acronym, so it stands for, is it motivating?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is the goal motivating?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it objective?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you said, is it something small or is it like, I just want to have, I want to make a big impact on humanity?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s not a MOST goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like so vague and nebulous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to have enough energy by this summer so I can play baseball with my grandson." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is a MOST goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or MOST, M-O-S-T, M stands for motivating, O is for objective, S is for small, and T is for timely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you achieve these things in the next three months?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It takes eight weeks to build a habit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Understanding that your brain and your body, when you re having a new habit and you fall off, getting back on, falling off, getting back on, that is part of habit formation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t mean that you failed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just means that s how your brain is learning and growing and changing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when you have a most goal and have a why, then everything becomes more clear, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because then you have an aim." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for you, if your most goal, you, you know, if we want to use the analogy of the example of you don t want to pick out your clothes anymore." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because then you don t, you want to be on time and you want less stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because ultimately you re trying to achieve something very concrete in the next three months." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "yeah for your work whatever it may be you want to have that bandwidth because we all have a limited amount of bandwidth instead of dispersing it on these day-to-day actions that cause you a lot of stress you want to hone it and focus on what matters most yep and so it s less about what s the matter with me when you re feeling a sense of stress how often do we say because of that inner critic what s the matter with me" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why do I feel so bad?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the matter with me?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead, we need to reframe and it s not about what s the matter with me, it s what matters to me most." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And really move things forward using that lens." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your advice for" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "figuring out what your goal is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I really do think that that is so helpful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just something about having that goal that it makes everything else so much easier to analyze in a way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re able to properly, rationally make decisions about your day to day life when you have that goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wonder if there is any advice you give to somebody who s like, you know, I m so stressed out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "probably partially as a result of not knowing what I m aiming for." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would your advice be to a person like that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it depends." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for someone who s saying, I m so stressed out, I hate my job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want a new job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So in three months, that goal could be, I want to get a new job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But to actually get there and get that new job requires a couple of things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s your most goal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s motivating, it s objective, it s small, and it s timely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So let s say in three months, I want a new job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you say that to yourself, then what has to happen?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You create a backwards plan." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you end up with having a new job, but there are, I don t know, 10 or 15 steps prior to getting there, which include protecting your mental health, managing your stress, filling up your tank and having enough bandwidth to then go search for a job, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re miserable at your current job, you re running on fumes, you re coming home, you re exhausted every night, you re watching Netflix, you re maybe drinking wine and self-medicating" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, three or four drinks and you re up till one or two in the morning, doom scrolling, go to bed, wake up, feel terrible, go to work, you re dissatisfied with work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you are in that hamster wheel, you need to figure out a way to break the cycle on a daily basis so that maybe you start going to bed early." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe you don t doom scroll, maybe you create a digital boundary so you re not doom scrolling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then you start getting, you know, you start rewiring your brain through these things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then your stress starts decreasing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your stress starts decreasing, you get out of amygdala mode and fight or flight mode." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start having your prefrontal cortex take over again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When your prefrontal cortex takes over, it s about forward thinking, strategy, memory, planning, organization." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then you might start your job search." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have a little bit more energy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You start cleaning up your resume." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "putting out feelers." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So all of these things take time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so you need to make sure that you are well enough mentally and physically to then engage in that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then the other thing I will say is when you are doing anything new, understand that anything new is a stressor on your brain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Change, even positive change." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is a stress to your brain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is why when you re starting, you know, it s a new year and you have like 20 things for your New Year s resolutions, by February you ve given them all up because it s just too difficult to sustain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not you, it s your biology." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So aim to do two things at a time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I call it the resilience rule of two." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And do those two things and then build on that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for eight weeks, do these two new habits of going to bed early every night, keeping your phone off your nightstand," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then, you know, after that, those eight weeks, that habit has become part of your wiring, then start doing a daily walk if you can and start doing something, you know, stop multitasking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then once that has happened, then you add two new things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So by the end of that three months, you have brought all of these things in, you ve protected your brain, moved out of amygdala mode, which is about survival and self-preservation, like in the here and now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you can t look for a job three months from now if you re just thinking about the now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s about shifting your perspective and getting out of one mode to the other." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s just one very concrete example that I think many people can relate to because there is such a sense of feeling dissatisfied with your work, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People are not happy in their work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They want to get out of their job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They don t know how." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because they don t have the bandwidth right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you can create, it s not about creating bandwidth, exactly like you said, Emma, it s about redirecting and harnessing that bandwidth away from all of those things that are depleting you and redirecting it back to yourself so that you can start thriving rather than just surviving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This all really leads to the five resets." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give me the summary of what that, what do I need to know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, when I was seeing patients in my clinic in Boston, what I found fascinating is that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all, as a doctor, pattern recognition is what I do, is what all doctors do, which is why I can see 100 people with abdominal pain, belly pain, and I can tell you the difference if this person has pancreatitis or this person has gastritis or ulcers or stress or whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ask a lot of questions and then we can tease out what s happening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I started to see a pattern with stress, one-on-one with my patients with a large group." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because stress is not this mythical, magical creature." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are actually tangible ways that we can measure our stress, understand our stress, and ultimately overcome our stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so the five resets are five small but mighty mindset shifts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "along with 15 scientific strategies that get you out of everything that we ve been talking about, that amygdala, fight or flight mode, back into your prefrontal cortex." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a way to reframe your stress and burnout and transform your relationship with stress and burnout for good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These are not hacks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your brain body is too smart for hacks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really don t like that word very much at all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s about doing small things every day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was really important for me with the five resets is that everything is free." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I have been a doctor with seeing thousands of patients with all different resources, having something free, we can t all spend an hour in some fancy spa or doing some therapy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, whatever it may be because not everyone has access to that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So having everything be free in the book and it s always my approach." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything I suggest is always free." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that was really important to me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Having a low time cost as well so it s not just about financial cost but time because like I said, right, we talked about what are the things people are really stressed out about." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People are stressed out about their jobs, not having the financial means, parenting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "People don t have a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone s juggling life" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, time is our greatest currency." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So making sure everything was short on time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So five minutes, ten minutes, here and there, small tweaks and practical." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s got to feel like you can build it into your life today." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One of the best feelings that I have is when I give talks or when I m talking to a patient," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When someone says that that whatever little nugget I gave them, they re going to start doing it today and then they ll send me a DM like a week later or a month later saying, it totally worked." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It totally worked." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like amazing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So for me, what s the meta of all of this is that I wrote a book on stress and burnout" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "when you are writing a book on stress and burnout and sharing it with the world, you experience a lot of stress and burnout yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I doubled down on those five resets, man." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like... You tested those." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve tested them for 25 years." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now it was like during that phase, I can t imagine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, for me, it was a game changer to use all of those resets." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve always used, I walk the talk and I do all of those resets anyway." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but I doubled down." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I protected my sleep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I redrew those digital boundaries because even though you know all of the science about stress and burnout, it s so easy to slip up because we are mere mortals, all of us after all." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so for me, what has been the most gratifying about this journey of writing the five resets is I am used to seeing patients one-on-one and then giving me the feedback." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ll always say, Dr. Nookhart, you cured me of my stress." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You helped me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You cured me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I always say, I didn t cure you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You cured you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All I did was hold up a mirror and show you, and you did it yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it s really important for me to, for people to feel a sense of empowerment." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That like, I can do this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can do this myself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think just being able to share the human story, my story with others, but also other people s stories, I think my greatest hope for the five resets is this idea of bibliotherapy, which is this idea that a book can help" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you heal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels therapeutic." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It creates a community." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when you are facing stress and burnout, you don t feel alone." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Understanding that this is this great paradox of stress, that we are all facing this, 21 out of 30 people, and yet we feel completely isolated." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in our togetherness." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead, I hope that the five resets and our conversation and all of my work really, really makes people feel like they are seen, heard, understood, and loved and understand that if you re feeling this way, just to normalize and validate this difficult experience of being alive in 2024." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amen to that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t wait for everyone to read it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, everyone s gonna love it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the best." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re the best!" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, you are such a bright light for, I think, of all the ways that you could spend your time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Speaking of time and bandwidth," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are so many ways that you could spend your time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I really, I ve been a fan of this podcast and of you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the way you conduct yourself in this world." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And of all of the things that you could do, you are so interested in bettering yourself, bettering the people around you, your community, making people think about things in a different way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it is such a beautiful legacy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we have to, oh!" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna make me cry after this, but thank you, thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is like all we can do, you know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, what s the point if we re not helping other people?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like what it, it has to be that, if nothing else." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, thank you again for coming on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for having me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the sweetest ever." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I learned so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right back at you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,836
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is gonna come as a shock to many of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because many of you know me as a fashion lover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talk about fashion all the time on the podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I post about fashion on Instagram all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m known as somebody who loves fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s one of my main hobbies, going shopping, putting together little outfits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m known as a fashion lover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this episode may be a shock to you," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But don t be fooled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode is also a shock to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently became sort of obsessed with the idea of dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way that I get dressed in the morning now is every day is a blank canvas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a blank canvas and I m building something brand new every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I repeat outfits for sure, but my default mode of getting dressed in the morning is putting something new on every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve flirted with the idea of a uniform before when I did my series on minimalism a few months back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I talked about the minimalist lifestyle and how being a minimalist means only owning what you need, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That applies to clothes as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I talked about minimalism a few months ago," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t saying I wanted to be a minimalist for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rather, I was discussing the extreme lifestyle and pulling little pieces of advice from it that were valuable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was analyzing the concept as a whole, finding the positives and negatives in it, in an attempt to apply little bits and pieces of it into my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I discussed how appealing the idea of uniform dressing" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the time, I didn t take it super seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was aware of how beneficial it could be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I discussed how beneficial it could be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was something that I didn t feel was realistic for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Recently, there s been a shift in my brain and I m taking this idea much more seriously, like I m really heavily considering it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been a few events and a few epiphanies that have driven me closer to the conclusion that this might be the lifestyle for me, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, I ve been so late recently to things because I ve been taking too long to get dressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I look at every outfit as a blank canvas like I start with nothing and build something completely brand new and because I ve built such a collection of clothing over the years getting dressed takes me like an hour even if I m just going to the grocery store like I take every outfit so seriously because for me" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a creative outlet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like an art project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every outfit is like an art project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I take it very seriously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that s inherently bad because again, it is a hobby for me, but I ve been late for things recently because it s taken me too long to get ready." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the other day I went to go shopping and to hang out with my friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "literally my best friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t give a fuck what I m wearing, even though one of my best friends is my stylist, Jared, and he has great taste, so, you know, I always want to impress him, but he doesn t give a fuck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He doesn t care what I m wearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To his core, he doesn t care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re hanging out as friends, not as him being my stylist, he couldn t care less what I m wearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no reason for me to spend an hour picking out my outfit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was late to their house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I could not figure out what to wear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was taking it seriously even though I was putting together a casual outfit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On weekends when I m going out to dinner with friends, going out for drinks with friends, I m always at least" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "15 minutes late because I couldn t pick out my outfit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes even 30 minutes late." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For business meetings, I m always down to the wire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stressed out because I can t figure out what to wear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, every outfit feels like a masterpiece to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, yes," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "yes I ve I ve I ve done it I ve done it again I ve created yes you know like yeah I get that feeling and that s great but at what cost because I ve been so late recently and I m not somebody who feels comfortable with being late I know some people who don t mind being late" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My blood pressure raises." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m shaken up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m freaked out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do well when I m late." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel guilty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s all bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m starting to build resentment for the outfit building process because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been creating negative emotion for me because I ve been late a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on top of that, for the past year or so, I ve been traveling with only a carry-on suitcase, which means I don t get to bring a lot of clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether I m traveling for a week or a month, I only bring a carry-on, and I just do laundry while I m traveling, and it s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been really enjoying that for the last year or so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of my favorite parts about that, I ve realized, is how I m forced to wear a uniform every day because I can t pack 10 outfits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I can pack maybe three pairs of pants, four pairs of pants, a few shirts, one jacket, a few accessories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of locked into a uniform and I ve grown to love that because when I m traveling I don t think about my outfit in the morning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only have three options." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean I have a few more than three because I can mix and match things a little bit but for the most part I m locked in and in the morning I don t think about what I m gonna wear because it s all right there in front of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not digging through my closet trying to find" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something new." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not trying to balance the colors of my outfit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not overthinking like, oh, is this the right vibe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because no, I only have a few pairs of pants to choose from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only have a few shirts to choose from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only have one vibe to choose from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the vibe that I pack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so nice to just get dressed in 30 seconds in the morning and then head out for the day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like the outfit because it s an outfit that I picked out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like I don t like it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an outfit I feel good in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t care if people see me wearing it twice because I m in a new place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m traveling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not going to see the same people twice, most likely, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve grown to love that experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those two things have made me come to the conclusion that it might be time for me to really commit to the idea of dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, let me define what this lifestyle is in my eyes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does that mean to me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think that could mean something different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, Steve Jobs famously had his black turtleneck, blue jeans, and whatever the fuck shoe he was wearing, and that was his look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was his uniform." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mark Zuckerberg famously is in like a gray t-shirt and jeans and like a sneaker to each their own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel like Steve Jobs owned just 50 black turtlenecks, 50 pairs of jeans, 50 loafers or whatever shoe he would wear, and then like one tuxedo for weddings, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think he rarely deviated from that look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could picture Mark Zuckerberg also wearing his gray t-shirt to a wedding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t even think he owns a tux, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not what I am imagining when it comes to uniform dressing for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of one outfit, I think of having like between three and five." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, one look for going out at night, like one sleek, hot, cool, fun going out look, one running errands look, one formal look," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for like a wedding or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then maybe a few versatile basics that I can interchange." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I can plug in here, plug in there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also imagine myself using accessories still, you know, switching out the sunglasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe adding a scarf or a beanie every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe having a few different jackets, like two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe having a few different sweaters, like two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not gonna be so strict that I m wearing the exact same outfit every single day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s still gonna be some variation, but on paper, there s like three to five outfits, and I m wearing them over and over and over and over, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the last rule is that it can change and evolve over time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every six months to a year, this can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The uniform can change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can donate the stuff from the prior uniform and build a new one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not stuck wearing the same thing every single day for 15 years like Steve Jobs, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not going to work for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m somebody who likes fashion too much to stick with the same uniform for 10 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, listen, if it happens, it happens, but I m not making that a rule for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you might be thinking, Emma, why do you have to make a choice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you making this such a big deal?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can just wear a uniform when you feel like it for, you know, a few months and then go back to dressing creatively" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on a daily basis when you feel like it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, why are you being so rigid about it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have this toxic trait of being all or nothing with everything in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe instead of deciding whether or not I should become a uniform dresser, I should address my toxic trait of being so all or nothing with everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, that s much less fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d rather exacerbate my toxic trait and allow myself to indulge" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the all or nothing of the uniform dressing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why I want to go all or nothing with this is because if I don t, then I won t get to benefit from the beauty of uniform dressing, which is removing the choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s the whole beauty of it, is you don t have a choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If all you have in your closet is your uniform, then that s what you re wearing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see, you can t benefit from this without that mentality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also just hate a gray area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like with people in my life, for example, I tend to be all or nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re either friends or we re not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re either dating or we re not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m either doing something 100% or I m quitting it altogether." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is just who I am." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, is it toxic?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds kind of toxic when I m saying it out loud, but this is just who I am in general." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But specifically with this concept and lifestyle, Ooh," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s even more tempting to do it all or nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s discuss the pros and cons of dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the end of this, maybe you ll decide that you want to start dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re already dressing in a uniform and this episode just further confirms that that s the right lifestyle for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you ll decide, no, it s not worth it for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to dress in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe if you re dressing in a uniform, you ll decide, I don t want to dress in a uniform anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually want to become the blank canvas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully you come to some conclusions and hopefully I come to some conclusions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shall see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start out with the pros of dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, I can spend almost an hour, I mentioned this earlier, picking out an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dressing in a uniform would save me so much time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say, for the sake of math and statistics, that it takes me 45 minutes on average to pick out an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually I have to pick out an outfit three times a week on the low end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually twice during the weekend I have to pick out a cute outfit, whether it s to go hang out with friends or it s to go out to dinner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then during the week I often have to get dressed for a meeting at least once or maybe" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "get dressed for a podcast interview where I m on camera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I have to pick out an outfit seven times in a week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the sake of math, let s say on average three times a week I have to pick out an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a uniform would save me two hours and 15 minutes per week on the low end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nine hours a month, 108 hours per year on the low end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, even 2 hours and 15 minutes a week, that s kind of a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do a lot in 2 hours and 15 minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So not having to pick out an outfit, that would save me a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what else I do a lot?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shopping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mainly online shopping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also shopping in person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably shop for two hours a week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s again, on the low end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By quitting that, I would save eight hours per month in 96 hours per year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the low end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would also save time when packing for trips." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I travel approximately twice a month and it usually takes me approximately eight hours to pack and I know that that sounds wild but I ll tell you why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I only pack a carry-on and when I pack for a trip I have to figure out how to create as many" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "outfits as possible with the least amount of pieces of clothing possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what I usually do is pick out four pairs of pants that all look good with the same one or two pairs of shoes, and then I pick out like four tops that look good with all of those pairs of pants and those one or two pairs of shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes me so long because it s a full puzzle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a puzzle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes me so long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m also trying to factor in what I m going to be doing on the trip." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, is this trip more casual?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just hanging out, not going to fancy restaurants or blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I can create casual outfits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I doing a little bit of both?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to some events?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to some fancy restaurants?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well now I need to somehow balance that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes me a long time to pack." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I travel approximately twice a month, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I travel a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now listen, I d probably still need an hour to pack with a uniform because packing just takes a while in general, but if I had a uniform, I d save seven hours every time I pack, which would save me 14 hours a month, 168 hours per year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so now let s add this up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I had a uniform, I would save approximately 372 hours a year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a little bit over an hour a day, which might not seem like a lot, or it might." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just depends on how you look at it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do so much in 372 hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, ideally, I would use this time wisely, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d learn a new hobby." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d get a little bit more work done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would sleep an extra hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that realistic?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it cannot be overlooked that a lot of time would be saved having a uniform." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s very safe to say that, I would say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, a promising pro is that not putting creative effort into picking out my outfits will leave more creative juice for other things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You only have so much creative juice in your brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think of creativity as a never-ending supply." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally run out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only have so much creative energy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spend a lot of my creative energy picking out outfits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t get me wrong, I enjoy the act of picking out an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like I m making a little masterpiece every day, even if it doesn t look like a masterpiece to other people because it s like, she looks so casual and chill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, it s a masterpiece because I balanced the colors and it has a specific vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, it s a little masterpiece." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will say it s not the most fulfilling creative endeavor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I d rather take that energy and make a YouTube video, you know, like make an interesting YouTube video or learn how to use my camera better so I can take better photos or learn how to play an instrument so I can learn how to play music." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d rather" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "use that creative energy to create something that s more satisfying for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Putting together an outfit is fulfilling to an extent, but doing it on a weekly basis and spending a lot of my creative energy every week doing that, I just, I think it s wasting a lot of my creative juice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I never thought of it like that because to think of it like that feels like overthinking it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m convinced that I m wasting creative juice on this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, my uniform can evolve over time as my personal style changes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not stuck with one look forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can still play around with fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just going to be on a less consistent basis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of me" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting creative every single time I need to get dressed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m getting creative every six months to a year and building the perfect uniform for myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On a daily basis, I can get creative with my accessories." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still going to have" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "various accessories that I can play with, different sunglasses, maybe a few different purses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not going to be exact." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There ll still be a little bit of choice, maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a pro that there is still some room to play." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not as frequent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to build off of that, I can still enjoy the art of fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just in a different way, like in between uniform switches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can continue to study clothes as I always do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it ll serve a different purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, normally I m studying clothes cause I m trying to figure out what I m gonna wear tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m online making mood boards, this and that, constantly trying to reinvent myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I m uniform dressing, then I m studying fashion in between uniform switches to try to figure out what my next uniform is gonna be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I still get to enjoy studying fashion and there s still a purpose to it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not as immediate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s actually" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "going to force me to be a better consumer of fashion because I m only going to buy things that I ve heavily thought about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of, you know, making a mood board and getting super excited about a certain trend or idea and then immediately going out and buying it, I m going to have to marinate in the idea of a certain thing before I go out and buy it because I have to wait for my next uniform switch, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that I genuinely enjoy the project that would be building my uniform, from conceiving the uniform, deciding what it is, to going and finding the perfect pieces." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say my uniform is white t-shirt, blue jeans, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Very obvious example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going out and finding the perfect pair of blue jeans, going out and finding the perfect white t-shirt, like, that s a fun project." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I would enjoy that experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also on top of that, this is maybe a more niche sort of element of all this, but when I go to fashion shows, fashion events, red carpet events, et cetera, I work with my stylist, Jared, and he goes and basically rents clothing for these events." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could be an opportunity for me to play around, because those clothes are ultimately given back, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not committed to my closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not taking up space in my closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still have room to play when I go to events." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s kind of cool, too, because fashion is still involved in my life in that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can play around then, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that doesn t happen very often." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to fashion events every few months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I do red carpet events every few months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like I do that very often, but when I do, I ll be able to enjoy that experience knowing that I can give everything back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, none of it s mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, less clutter overall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The amount of closet space I m gonna have if I do this, wow, it makes me smile, like I m smiling thinking about it, because I am a clothing collector." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I am a clothing collector." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely, definitely, definitely collect clothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it s one of my hobbies." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m totally making excuses for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just addicted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m a little bit addicted to shopping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not in a bad way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know people who are way worse than me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that that s an excuse either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, I m enabling myself right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of clothes, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so grateful for every single piece of clothing in my closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t want to sound like I m not, but also I don t like clutter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like having a lot of stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me stressed out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It causes anxiety for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a common feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m almost always drowning in clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have to go through and purge my closet and donate a bunch of stuff every few months or else I am just drowning in clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it would be so nice to not have that issue anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I know, it s like calling that an issue is fucking ridiculous, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like a clothing hoarder, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I rarely get to experience the satisfaction of wearing something down until it s worn out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I do wear different things every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get to wear a pair of shoes down until there s a hole in the sole." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I know what you re thinking, Emma, this is such a ridiculous thing to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, it is, it s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a privilege to want that, to want to wear something until it s done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m fully aware of that and I m aware of how stupid it sounds, but I have to mention it because I do enjoy that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I was younger, at the beginning of the school year, I d get a new pair of shoes and then by the end of the school year, they re a fucking mess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Satisfying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a satisfying feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like, wow, I really got my fucking money s worth out of this thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I wore it down until it was trash." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m such a clothing collector, because I have so many clothes, because I wear something new every day," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "nothing ever really gets to that point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why I crave that is because you build this very special relationship with pieces of clothing when you wear them on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You watch them wither away and you form this emotional bond with those pieces of clothing and you re like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you were with me through thick and thin, and I know it s an inanimate object, and I m being weird right now about it, but there is something special about that bond that you build with a piece of clothing that you wore out completely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like you want to put them in a museum or something because you re like, I spent so much time with you, you being that piece of clothing that you wore over and over and over again for a year or two or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have that with some things in my closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like there s a few pairs of loafers in my closet that I ve really worn out, a few pairs of sneakers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My slippers that I wear every day are absolutely destroyed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m looking at them right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re really destroyed and I need a new pair, but they just, they don t make this pair of slippers anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, I like these." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to get new ones." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, I have that with certain pieces of clothing, but I don t know, I m craving that relationship with my clothes again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel like clothes have become too interchangeable for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they don t mean anything to me anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have relationships with my clothes as much as I used to when I was younger, and I was wearing a uniform every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I wore the same sweatshirt every day in second grade, and I had a relationship with that sweatshirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I m craving that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m craving the moment when it s time to retire it and I m sad, but then I m excited because I get to replace it with something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I miss that experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I know it sounds fucking ridiculous and it s such like a privileged, stupid thing to say, but I m craving that relationship with my clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also am intrigued by the idea of having guaranteed outfit confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a firm believer that you are your most confident," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "outgoing, authentic self when you re wearing an outfit that you feel good in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are times when I step out in a brand new outfit that I ve never worn before and I feel confident and great and amazing and all is well, but there are a lot of times when I experiment and I put something together and I wear it out and I m like, ooh, I actually don t feel good in this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you build a uniform, there s no doubt that you re going to feel good in that uniform." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, that shouldn t be your uniform." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it would allow me to be more comfortable" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "out and about more often." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of exciting to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I would definitely save money, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spend a lot of my money on clothes because, again, it s a hobby." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a passion of mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that I made my own money, I started spending money on clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like before I bought myself a car" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, you know, like it was like, no, I m buying clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that was what I was the most excited about spending my money on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so ever since I started making my own money, I was like, let s fucking hit it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s hit the shops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re shopping because." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fashion is one of those hobbies where you have like, okay, you don t necessarily need to have a lot of money to be involved in fashion because you can go thrifting and find incredible things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there is a barrier to entry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do need to spend money on clothes in order to wear clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can get thrifty with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I did that for many, many, many, many, many years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I still do that even to this day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, I mean, that s that s a big part about participating in fashion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you have to buy clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to consume clothes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it was just like, I was so stoked when I made my own money because, you know, my parents were like, bitch, no, you re not like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, my poor parents," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they were paying for my clothes in a phase when I wanted new stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted new expensive stuff to fit in with the kids at school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas when I started making my own money, I got super into thrift shopping and everything was like, I would go buy 20 pieces of clothing for $20." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they caught me in an unfortunate phase." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But regardless," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will absolutely save money from not shopping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I think that that goes without saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very obvious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s obviously a pro, you know, for obvious reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even need to explain that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, pretty promising list of pros there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be hard to beat that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s attempt with the list of cons of dressing in a uniform." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, the satisfaction" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of stepping out in a new, fresh outfit will be lost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the endorphins that are released when you put together a masterpiece of an outfit and you get to debut it to the world, that s lost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, even the puzzle of picking out an outfit being solved" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in such a satisfying way, that s lost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a lot of joy in that for someone who enjoys fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, if you don t like fashion, if you don t like getting dressed, that does not apply to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me in particular, I love that process, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of torturous at times, but I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I won t be able to do that anymore because I ll go into my closet and I just have my uniform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the excitement around fashion will sort of die in my day-to-day life and be reserved to when it s time to switch up my uniform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and for when I go to events and things of that sort where I m renting clothes to wear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other than then, fashion will not be a part of my day-to-day life as much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I won t get that excitement and satisfaction from that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, arguably, I might get it elsewhere because I ll have so much more time to do other things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll pick up another creative endeavor or something like that, and that will replace the satisfaction that I was getting from building outfits on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I just lose this excitement in my life and it isn t replaced and that s a risk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another con is that the fashion muscle is not going to be flexed as often if dressing in uniform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say, I learn so much on a day-to-day basis while styling myself, casually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I pick out an outfit, I learn something new." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might sound sort of dramatic, but the way that I get dressed in the morning, you know, looking at myself as a blank canvas," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m building something new every day and it is an educational experience, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s always a struggle because it s like putting together a puzzle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to make everything match." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to make the colors balanced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to make the vibe consistent and somewhat vivid in my own eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if the vibe of the day is, okay, I m going vampire today, then there s a puzzle to make it feel that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if the vibe is life on the farm, you know, I m trying to make the outfit feel like life on the farm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the vibe of the day is alien, I m trying to make it feel like an alien, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, like balancing all those things, technical elements like balancing colors and then more abstract elements like what the vibe is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Balancing all of that and putting something together that feels fresh and new and exciting to me is a puzzle that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "inevitably teaches me something every single time because I m having to get creative to arrive at a place where I feel satisfied." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I end up learning new ways to layer my clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I end up discovering a new color combo that I really enjoy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, maroon looks really good with yellow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never tried that before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just tried it right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And wow, that looks good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have never thought of that before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always learning something new." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have to wonder if I d become less fashionable if I just wore a uniform because I wouldn t be learning as much on a day to day basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not solving that puzzle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My exposure to fashion will be much less, you know, it ll just be" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more of something that I m consuming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I am studying fashion as I always do, whether that s making mood boards on Pinterest or that s looking at Vogue Runway and seeing what s happening on the runway, that s definitely contributing to my knowledge of fashion and my understanding of what I like and don t like, etc." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that only teaches you so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you learn the most about" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fashion when you get your hands dirty and you re putting together outfits yourself that are uniquely you, which inevitably they will be because unless you re copying everything you see on Pinterest or the runway, anytime you go into your own closet and you re left to use only the stuff you have to create something exciting, it will always feel uniquely you, you know, because you re not, you re not just copying something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of always have to get creative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have to wonder if I would lose that fashion muscle a bit and end up kind of rusty when it s time to put together an outfit myself, style myself, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, will I lose a bit of that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a risk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll also just be losing a hobby, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spend a lot of time and energy on shopping, getting dressed every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "et cetera, losing a hobby is a bummer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, obviously it ll still be a hobby for me when I get dressed for events or when I m studying clothes online for fun, but it ll become less relevant in my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ideally I d replace this hobby with another hobby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I d have more energy to participate in a hobby that is more fulfilling for me because even though fashion is very fulfilling for me, I do enjoy it a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am very aware that I would be more fulfilled participating in other hobbies, but would I participate in other hobbies?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With this new brain space, would I use it wisely or would I use it to watch more Instagram reels of monkeys doing funny stuff, such as eating a banana in a funny way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I watch a lot of monkey reels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My algorithm on Instagram knows that I love monkey reels and gives me so many reels of small little monkeys doing things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would I pursue other creative hobbies or would I just watch monkey reels?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a huge question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d also have to say goodbye to a lot of my clothes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in order to fully enjoy this lifestyle, I d have to get rid of majority of my clothes, leaving only what is a part of my uniform and pieces that are special to me, which I don t have very many of, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m thinking of like collector s items, like something that comes to mind is this" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really cool shirt that I thrifted once that it has these cool pockets in them that are shaped like a hand and they poke out the bottom of the shirt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The shirt s actually on my Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really cool and there s nothing like it and I don t want to get rid of it because it s like a collector s item to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a collector s item" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to the world, probably not, but to me it s a collector s item, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not getting rid of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, I bought this vintage Jean Paul Gaultier jacket, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just so gorgeous and like, I don t want to get rid of it because again, to me it s a collector s item." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the grand scheme of things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a collector s item?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s not like super rare." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to go resell it for like, but to me it s a collector s item and I want to keep it because it s special to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like having an art piece in my closet, you know, I haven t even worn it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just like owning it, which is stupid and I should wear it, but I d keep those things, you know, just because they re special to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d be getting rid of probably 90% of my clothes if I were to participate in this lifestyle, because otherwise what s the point?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, if I m just wearing a uniform every day, then that means 90% of my closet is not being worn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would so much rather those clothes be worn by people who would wear them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I d rather donate those clothes than just have them collecting dust in my closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s number one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a huge benefit of wearing a uniform is getting rid of the clutter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I m not getting rid of the clutter, then what s the point?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it makes sense to get rid of the stuff that I m not wearing, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That isn t a part of my uniform and isn t one of my special collector s items in my heart." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s be clear about that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it d be nice to not feel cluttered, but I spent so much time building this collection of clothing that allows me to experiment in my closet whenever I get dressed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s taken me years, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this journey started the second that I got my first paycheck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, let s fucking run it and let s" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "start building this collection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been building it ever since." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I ve purged it periodically throughout the years, but there s a lot of things that have lasted with me for a long time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some of that is going to have to go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of scary to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, am I going to miss anything that I get rid of?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to regret one day getting rid of this huge collection of clothing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of unknown there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I ve yet to ever regret donating something, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never once in my life regretted getting rid of something, but this is on a much larger scale, and so, you know, there are a lot of question marks there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the last con that I can think of is that people might judge me for wearing the same outfit over and over." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As much as I d like to say that I don t care, I don t care" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people think and as much as I don t care like cuz I don t I do a little bit okay I do a little bit" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there definitely would be some people that are like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Emma wears the same shit every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this is so weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially in LA where everybody s in entertainment and in fashion and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There d definitely be some people who are like, ew, like Emma just wears the same thing every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so cringe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in my little bubble of Los Angeles and hanging out with people in fashion and stuff and being around people in fashion," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see some people judging me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I lived elsewhere where fashion was not as relevant, nobody would give a fuck and it would be gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because of where I live, I think people would judge me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in elementary school, high school even, people wore the same shit every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone had a uniform, you know, especially in elementary school." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although we were kids, so nobody really even cared." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was not as big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you could wear the same thing every day and you weren t going to get" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You couldn t wear the exact same thing every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But kids were re-wearing outfits all the time, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like normal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I live in a really interesting bubble where the standards are different, and I think I would be judged a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also don t care." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s fine with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still consider it to be a con because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being judged or whatever, it never feels good, but also I wouldn t let that stop me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this is not a real con, but it s sort of a con." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, in conclusion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s pretty clear to me that on paper, dressing in a uniform seems like the way to go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only thing holding me back is the project that it would be to sort of get started, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also the pain of getting rid of a lot of my collection." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think that s what s holding me back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I am sort of convinced that it would have a positive impact on my life as a whole." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for that reason, I m intrigued." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also fear that this concept is appealing to me because I feel like it ll solve problems that it won t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wish I had more energy to attempt more creative endeavors." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I was never late for anything, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But would those problems really be solved by me sort of stepping back with the fashion in my day-to-day life?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times we can become fixated on an extreme idea, like an extreme life-changing idea and be like, this will change everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it might not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, because I do see this actually making a difference in my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I wrote it all down, I was like, this should not be ignored, actually." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, this is," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a significant piece of my life, and it would change my life genuinely to do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll keep you all updated on my journey, what I end up deciding." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, maybe I ll end up being the test guinea pig and I can try it out and let you all know how it goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what s she going to do?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s she going to do?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode, and if you did, you can let me know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can rate and review the podcast." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch video exclusively on Spotify, but stream audio anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow anythinggoes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have matcha." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have lattes in a can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have everything you can imagine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everything, but yeah, a lot of stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can see if we re in a store near you using the store locator, or you can just order online and it ll show up straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how ordering online works." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all, and I hope that you enjoyed hanging out with me today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really enjoyed hanging out with you, and hey, maybe I ll talk to you in a few days, and that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you!" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hope you re having a gorgeous day, and I ll talk to you soon." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A couple weeks ago, I made the decision that I was going to get laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was asking around and I was like, does anyone have a good place to go get laser hair removal?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because this last place that I went to, I felt like was pulling a little trick on me because I went in like four or five times and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the hair just kept coming back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I need to go to somebody a little bit more serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So asked around and I was referred to Christina Kitsos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went in, I immediately have so many questions about laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, why did the first one not work?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This, this and that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She knew the answer to every question I had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m super excited to be" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bringing Christina on today because she s just so incredibly knowledgeable about all of the popular treatments that we all know and love today, from Botox to filler to anything you can imagine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She knows about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s a multi-specialty trained registered nurse with over 15 years of experience working in some of the most renowned practices in the field of minimally invasive aesthetic medicine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So listen, she s doing the Botox and the filler." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s not doing the Brazilian butt lift surgery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s not a plastic surgeon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a difference there, but she knows what the fuck is up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live in a time now where this is happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the beauty standard nowadays to have Botox, to have filler, to have a facelift, to have this, to have that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That has become the beauty standard, whether we like it or not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I find myself constantly confused about where I stand on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think today s conversation is gonna help me come to a clearer conclusion, and maybe you too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m very excited to introduce you to Christina Kitsos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She knows her shit about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "looking snatched and hot, obviously, but she s also just a hoot and a half, so enjoy her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, we have to know, or I have to know, how you got into medical aesthetics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what made you want to do this with your career?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I come from a long line of doctors in my family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was seven years old, I used to go, my dad s a plastic surgeon, I used to go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And after school, I would literally go into the operating room and watch him do surgery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s where I learned like the architecture of the face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After college, I didn t go into medicine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanted to go into business and so I went to business school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I did that, I was in San Diego and I was a nanny for four children." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was not only doing my MBA, I was the youngest person in the school because I went straight from undergrad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was nannying for these four kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was super stressed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was not eating well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was not getting a lot of sleep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I started breaking out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not just a little bit, but a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So much so that I literally did not go out socially for two years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would lock myself in the bathroom and I would pick at my pimples." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thought I kind of knew what I was doing so I d get like a sterile needle from because my stepfather s a doctor also and I had the tools but I really didn t know what I was doing and I kind of made it worse and then I would get like prescription steroid creams because that would decrease the inflammation but it would also thin your skin which is why they are prescription not over-the-counter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then I recruited my dad and my stepdad and my mom and I said, we need to do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was prescribed minocycline, tetracycline, retin-A, spironolactone, all the things everyone goes on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it just wasn t really working." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "dove into medical journals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this was 24 years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we didn t have access like we do now on the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I really had to seek out that information." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was at that time that I found out about something called matrix metalloproteinase inhibitors, which is like a long word for something that increases the barrier function of your skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "niacinamide." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then I would like make my own concoctions and put it on the pimple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I didn t really know what I was doing, but it worked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it was at that point that I realized" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Skin problems are real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I was thinking, gosh, how can I go into business and help people at the same time?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then I went to nursing school, did my RN degree, and then started working in aesthetics." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Acne was just the starting point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I realized everybody has a skin issue, whether it s rosacea, whether it s a birthmark, acne, their hair is falling out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They have too much hair, too little hair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "all of these things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I realized that I can learn how to help people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the business of medical aesthetics, I can imagine there s sort of a blurry line, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where you re like, I want to help people, but we also want people to accept themselves for who they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where do you find that balance?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with your clients, but even with yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we all are on that journey where we re trying to figure out, okay, when is a procedure of some sort enhancing my life and not enabling me and not enabling, do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely, it is a fine line." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s interesting because I ve had young girls, maybe in their 20s, come in wanting lip enhancement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And some of them," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, their lips are unbalanced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I want to even them out and balance them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But some are coming in because they ve seen it on, you know, Instagram or TikTok or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll go in and most of the time I will do it a little bit because the good thing about injectables is they re all reversible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what will happen is I ll wash off their face, you know, with alcohol and prep it, and I ll notice a lot of blackheads around their skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ll say, you know, you re here for lip injections, but let s talk about skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I kind of veer the conversation towards skin because in my opinion, if you can have really clear skin and not have to cake on so much makeup, you re going to feel so much more secure and maybe you re not going to ask for those lip injections." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because maybe you re insecure because of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And maybe not, but if you are, I know how to help you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you kind of, I think what I m picking up from this is like, you d rather start in a place where you re not actually changing anything physical about someone s appearance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d rather start from the inside, you know, and like work with what s already naturally there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from there enhance what s already there, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I feel like getting your skin to a healthy place, I so agree with this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my skin is good, I forget about other insecurities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m insecure because my left side of my lip is more flat than my right side." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if my skin s good, I m not even thinking about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually a great point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s true, I think that s a great way to approach it is let s work on" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting our bodies to the healthiest, happiest place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The best version of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want the best version of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you can go from there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s always the goal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s balance, it s harmony." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not perfection, because perfection s not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Perfection is like, it s like when you see a picture of a tree that a five-year-old drew, and it s all perfectly green here, and it s even, and it has, that s not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels artificial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you look at really like a painting of a real tree or a real tree in nature, it s not 100% perfect, but it s beautiful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a Japanese term that I love to use, it s called wabi-sabi, and it s perfectly imperfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the goal is not perfection, the goal is balance, the goal is symmetry, and you want that wabi-sabi, you want that perfectly imperfect, because if everything is too perfect, and you ve seen them on Instagram and all these social media, it s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it s a little robotic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s hard to talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you see someone in real life like that, their face doesn t move naturally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think it s so important to have that natural movement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, to a certain extent, you can do a little bit of Botox to decrease the movement if you are one of those people that is like really hyperdynamic with your face, because that movement creates wrinkles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you do too much and you look like a robot, it s uncomfortable and it just doesn t, it doesn t, in my opinion, look good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I completely, I mean, I think even the people, how do you think it gets to that point?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you think it gets to that point where somebody" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw somebody the other day on my explore page who has so much filler, like their cheeks are literally, it s like their cheeks and then their jaw." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to show you after we do this because it was the most unbelievable thing I ve ever seen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "scene, their head is double the size that it normally would be, from probably even implants, too, in the face." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know what it was, but I was like, how does it get to this point?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it must be some sort of, you know, facial dysmorphia, body dysmorphia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how do you manage a client who comes in and clearly has some sort of dysmorphia?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I am a very conservative injector." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that being said, I will inject and I call it the Goldilocks effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, OK, too little is not going to do anything and too much is just bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a just right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s taken me I ve been doing this almost 20 years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s taken me a long time to be able to tell people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the right injector for you, and I will send them away if I think that they re asking for too much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I ll kind of like steer the conversation to, again, balance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you re talking about the person that has a lot of cheek filler or jaw filler, what can happen is when you start doing that, you have to look at everything in relation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the more filler that you put in your cheeks, the more hollow your temples will look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the closer together your eyes look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s a limit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then once those proportions become a little out of whack, it s real obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people can t put their finger on it, but they know it looks weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but they don t know why it looks weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because things need to be in proportion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when people ask for too much, what they don t understand and what I really try to educate them on is how an injection in one area will make another area look different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like when you make a hill higher," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the valley next to it seems lower because the hill is higher." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The valley next to it is the same as it s always been, but the higher the hill, especially when women get older or men get older, they start losing fat in their temple area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I call it like the old elephant effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it kind of looks, you know, like elephants have the indentation right there?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or Mr. Peanut or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so when people start getting too much in their cheeks, it exacerbates that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it actually looks really weird, but most people that don t have a trained eye," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "can t put their finger on why it looks weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then they might go and get more filler to go fill in this part, and now this is bigger, and now they have this huge head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now their eyes look closer together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the distance from here to here is increased." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why I am such a conservative injector, because I think a little goes a long way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want your friends and family to recognize you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want you to go to a party and then go," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that, you know, Julie, or is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right, right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like you don t want to change the way someone looks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just want to, like, do these tiny tweaks that almost..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are the things that probably no one else even notices, but that someone is insecure about and they just want that little tweak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re more concerned about a little tweak than you are a big change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My clients stay with me for years because I have their long-term best interests at heart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they know that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I say no often because I really want people to age gracefully, look like themselves, but also feel really great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people can become addicted to this stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they doctor shop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as soon as one person says no, they ll go to another person and another person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eventually somebody s going to say yes to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s how they start looking strange." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, they re only looking at themselves normally in two dimension." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re taking a picture and then saying I don t like this on this picture, but they don t see we see each other in three dimensions We see each other talking we see each other moving and emoting and so when you have too much done in a still Two-dimensional photo it might look okay, but once you start talking it looks like amoebas like yeah floating amoebas in the face and it just doesn t" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "move naturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is really, really obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it doesn t look good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also when you do too many injectables, especially fillers, it s dangerous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The chances of an adverse event like something called a vascular occlusion, which is a big word for a blood vessel getting clogged." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the thing is, is that the blood vessels in your body are all connected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I drove over here today on the 405 and the 10 freeway." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I make an occlusion in a blood vessel, even if it s on like some side street in LA, eventually that will make it to the 405 freeway or the 10 freeway and to the heart or the brain or the lungs, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, it doesn t really matter if you re in a small vessel because that occlusion can make its way to the bigger areas that will really cause a detrimental effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, that s the other thing that I think a lot of people who, you know, are really interested in getting treatments done, they re so unaware of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number one, what the best options are, because there s so many terms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are so many different ways of doing things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, if you wanted bigger lips, there are probably 10 ways you could do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So with that in mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Walk through the most popular treatments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, we re in Los Angeles, the mecca, you know, the mecca of aesthetics, it feels like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are the most popular treatments right now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then from there, we ll dig into all of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By far, the most popular procedure is Botox." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s popular because you can use Botox for so many different things and because it s so safe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are like five different types of Botox, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s Botox, there s Dysport, there s Xeomin, there s Juveau, and now a new one called Daxi." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They all work the same way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They work by cutting off the communication between the nerves in your brain that are telling the muscle to contract and the muscle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s as if you have a cell phone and you re calling that muscle and saying contract, but you have no cell phone service." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People get Botox for all sorts of reasons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The most popular are the area right between the eyebrows, and we can call that the frown line or elevens or, you know, when people are thinking or mad or, I can t do it because I have Botox." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shocking, shocking, I m sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other area that a lot of people get done are the forehead lines across here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a big fan of those." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, I can move like a lot, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have forehead lines." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not a hyper-animated person, so I do them maybe once a year, just to kind of keep them at bay and make sure that they don t get worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other area is crow s feet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are people that are squinters, or even really big smiles can cause those lines." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the other areas that are not as popular but are really, really powerful are" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hyperhidrosis, so people that have really sweaty armpits or hands or feet, and it is debilitating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have clients that literally will put on a t-shirt and they have to, within five minutes, they ve got pit stains." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This one girl in particular, she can only wear tank tops that are dark." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, and she s a dancer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so with her, we do Botox under the armpits and it is absolutely life-changing for her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s so amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other area that s pretty powerful is these muscles here are called the masseter muscles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We talked about this because I was thinking, because my mom and I need it because we clench." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so clenching your teeth is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It causes headaches." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It creates long-term problems with your temporomandibular joint." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also it wears away the enamel on your back teeth, which over the years, your teeth are irreplaceable, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t get another pair or another set." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you can decrease that tension every night on those back teeth, you will save your teeth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when it comes to Botox," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, it sounds like to me, Botox is not gonna give you any sort of life-threatening side effect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s also not even gonna make you look goofy or anything, as long as you re going to a good person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think that s sort of what clicked for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you were saying all this, I was like, this is all true as long as you re going to a good person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, this is all serious medical stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like even though Botox is probably one of the safer options, it s like out of all these different treatments, it s like you still have to be going to a good person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still a prescription." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Botox is one thing, but injecting fillers, especially into the nose and into the area around the eye, you can cause permanent and irreversible blindness, immediate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finding someone that you know and trust and to me the best way of doing that is by word of mouth That word of mouth is so important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people ask me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I find someone I live in?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, Wisconsin and so I always ask that I tell them ask your friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got to ask around I don t think people Realize how serious these things can be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean we obviously started with talking about Botox, but it s like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think Botox and filler are probably the most popular, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely the most popular." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And filler, it can be really dangerous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So filler is way more dangerous than Botox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Botox, the worst thing that can happen is maybe you can have like a wonky eye for two, three months, or you might lisp when you talk if there was too much put around your mouth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But filler is dangerous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really dangerous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all I can say is the years that I spent watching my father do surgery, I also did OR circulating for many, many years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was invaluable, that information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now injectors in the US, a lot of them are doing these cadaver workshops where they re going through and looking underneath the hood, taking the skin up, seeing where are the vessels, how do I find them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you re injecting, it s kind of like digging in the street." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could hit a pipe, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to know where those pipes are, and just because you know where they probably are, we re all different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people might have a few millimeters up, a few millimeters down, so just knowing what to look for, and that s where the conservative injection comes in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you just do a little bit, and you can always add and just do it safely, that s really the best way to approach any sort of filler injection." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also using something that is reversible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that would be a hyaluronic acid filler." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve heard about like filler migrating around the face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that happen with hyaluronic too?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happens with hyaluronic, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of the big factors that contributes to that is over-injecting, doing too much at one time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you do too much at one time, it s like putting too much sausage in a casing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s only a certain amount that you can put in before it s gonna start spilling out, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you have a cup and I start pouring water in, at a certain point, that water is not gonna fit in that cup, it s gonna pour out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yes, the skin stretches to a certain extent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when you re talking and moving, if it s injected in like a bolus or in balls, it can start migrating up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So another reason why it s really important to go to a qualified injector that has a good track record and also doing it in baby steps little by little." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now I m curious, because obviously Botox and filler are the main treatments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like that s what everyone talks about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are some other treatments that are really popular that maybe are a little bit less well-known but still, you know, a lot of the celebrities that we know and love probably have them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s things like radiofrequency and microneedling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you really look at it, it s pretty much all intense pulse light." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "IPL, or intense pulse light," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is a great way to treat things like rosacea, brown spots, like age spots, or some people don t want their freckles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do it a lot of times on active acne to kind of kill the bacteria in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, it s like a good way to stimulate collagen in your skin and keep your skin healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like going to the gym for your skin, like keeping it in shape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s also something called Clear and Brilliant that s a great way to keep your skin in shape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these are all different wavelengths of light in order to stimulate collagen growth and to stimulate the skin to regenerate itself, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because as we get older, the skin regeneration slows down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re 15 years old and you get a cut on your face, it heals pretty quickly, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I got a pimple the other day, literally a week ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, it s still there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still healing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it just goes to show that the older you get, the slower that skin regeneration happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have to do other things like using topicals and lasers and stuff to stimulate that skin to regenerate and be in the best shape possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there any risks with that one?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only risk would be if you come in and you have been on Accutane or Retin-A, those things make your skin more sensitive to any light, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you can use, if somebody came in and say they lied and they didn t tell me, and then I would use the setting that I thought was appropriate for them, and it was like really bad, it could possibly blister or something like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why you have to be really honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with the provider that you re, you know, tell them what you re on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I have Morpheus, which is, and again, these are microneedling with radio frequency." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s more than one brand." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s Silpherm, there s Morpheus." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re all good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kind of the person that says, oh, my brand is the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all microneedling with radiofrequency, and in the right hands, I can make all of the machines work well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much more important, in my opinion, to find a great provider than to go to a place with a certain machine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because ultimately it s the person using that machine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And their knowledge and their history." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, oh yeah, I had this one person four years ago that blah, blah, blah happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they have that history and they know what to expect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing is microneedling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love microneedling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I use a peptide serum that I created in Korea and I microneedle that into the skin and it s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I don t ever use with microneedling is vitamin C because there s this really, really rare thing that can happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen it twice in 20 years and it s called granulomatous reaction from vitamin C topically applied and then microneedled in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people do it and it s very rare for this to happen, but if it happens, I can show you a picture." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible and it lasts months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks like you have like stripes, raised bumpy ridges all over your face." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happened to a very good friend of mine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She went to, I think, four or five dermatologists." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was on prednisone, on all of these steroids to try to bring it down, and it literally took months because the vitamin C molecule got underneath the skin, and it created kind of like a capsule around it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So do you know, if people get breast implants, you can form something called capsular contracture, and that s when your body" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "notices that this is a foreign object, and it goes, uh, that s not part of our body, so let s create a fortress around it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of pushing it out, it goes, we ll just put a wall all the way around it, and then we don t have to deal with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, out of sight, out of mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s got a wall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That wall gets really hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why when people have capsular contraction with breast implants, they re really hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s because that s the scar tissue, your body created around it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now think of that on a really small microscopic level, around every little microsphere of vitamin C in your skin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And most people don t have this reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the ones that do, and it happened to be a very good friend of mine, I was heartbroken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just felt so bad for her, because you can t cover it up, even though there was ridges." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looked like your face is corduroy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I know, I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, if it was like a week, okay, you can deal with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But two months?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then I started doing some research and I found out it s this granulomatous reaction to microneedled vitamin C. Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I m really vocal about problems that can happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like to share information and I ask people s opinion that are in this field all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So important." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been doing it a long time and I still am learning things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still seeking knowledge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just curious by nature, but the reason that I ask is because I m like, someday I m going to meet someone that s going to need this information." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why I like to learn all of these things and then help people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s so new too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, it s all so new that you kind of have to learn as you go and stay up to date or else it s like, you know, cause even you just mentioned Morpheus like a few minutes ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I don t even remember what Morpheus is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I can t even get, what is Morpheus?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Morpheus is microneedling with radio frequency." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, so all these little needles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only on skin, on face skin or everywhere?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do it everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do it everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it tightening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know what I mean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does it tighten the skin?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So these little needles are going into the skin, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then at the very tip of the needle," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a little bit of radiofrequency energy is exerted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not doing anything to the top layer of your skin, but the new skin cells are grown down here, and then they re grown here, and then they come up, up, up, it s about 21 to 27 days is the process, and then they get shed off with the normal sloughing of your skin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we wanna get those skin like baby, newborn, newborn baby skin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, we re gonna get these newborn baby skins." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re gonna get them in shape, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when they come up, they re gonna look great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re gonna act differently, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And have you ever seen..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a piece of bacon cooked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you start out with a big bacon, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you cook it and it shrinky dinks a little." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what a shrinky dink is?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I aging myself?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah, no, of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it shrinks a little." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you think about that, think about that concept, if you put a little bit of energy into the skin and you shrinky dink just a little on each tip of each needle, the overall endpoint is a little shrinking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "get a little tightening?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little bit, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it brings, it makes things look fresher, newer, but then it also tightens?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, like if I take away 4%, if I do it three times and each time I do it, I take away, I shrink it down 5%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After I ve done it three times, that s 15%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So people are doing it on their abdomen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people, after the age of, I would say, 45 to 50, start losing collagen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And skin that you didn t even know was going to be a problem starts to become a problem." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I never knew I had crepey, thin, saggy skin here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we can just give it a little, just a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there any risks with it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The risks of morpheus would be pain, swelling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s always gonna be a potential for infection, but that s, it s not, I ve never seen it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bruising, possibly, but even a teeny bit of morpheus in the upper eyelid," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because some people genetically, and it s not an age thing, they just have a heavier hooded eyelid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so instead of going in and getting surgery there, you can do a teeny bit of tightening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s all these little tweaks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, the goal is not perfection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s balancing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s making, because as we get older, things start to look a little bit unbalanced because what happens is our face, our skull starts getting smaller." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think of when you lose, say you have your favorite pair of jeans and you lose five pounds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The material on those jeans is gonna hang or sag a little bit, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so now let s think of your skull as your body and your skin as the material." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The skull gets smaller as we age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what happens to the material, your skin?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re sagging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a melted candle, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do we do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people go in and they try to just put tons of filler and that helps a teeny bit, but it can look weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we can tighten up with Morpheus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can use different modalities to try to counteract that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the skin, the actual skin gets thinner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you think about kids, kids have this thick, juicy, resilient, lovely skin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can make facial expressions all day long and it doesn t stick." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because their skin is like velvet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can sit in a velvet dress and be sweaty and stand up and it s like no wrinkles." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But try to sit in a silk, thin silk dress for five minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You stand up, there s wrinkles in there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because the material is so thin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as we get older and that material gets thinner, it s going to show every little nook and cranny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s where I come in and I try to find the right modality within reason, always, and within a safe zone and just pump the brakes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have to reverse, we don t have to completely stop, but pumping the brakes just makes you tread water." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just hang out here for a little while." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How long have you been in this field?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been doing injectables for 20 years, but I would say 40 operating room, worked with 40 different surgeons in the OR doing OR circulating all over the United States." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve seen it all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How have people s aesthetic desires changed over the years?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like, because that s so fascinating to me because I feel like a lot of times people go in and do things that can be unreversible, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not in your office, it doesn t sound like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like everything you do is not really, like, you choose things that are reversible, I feel like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Purposely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want no liability." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to be responsible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want people to come in, and I say no often, and they come back and they say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much for not doing blah, blah, blah last time I was here because I really realized I didn t need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what I ve seen over the years is kind of a change in the perception of beauty." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting because when I was younger," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always thought I had the biggest jaw and I hated it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now jaws are in, I m like, perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also, when I was younger, enormous boobs were in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would see these people come in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember this one woman kept asking my dad to do these enormous implants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was like, no, you re gonna have a backache." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna have all these, telling her all these different problems, but she was so insistent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now, they re coming in," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they don t care about the breast implants, they care about the butt, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so now they re coming in trying to do all these things, which there s the BBL, that BBL is the Brazilian butt lift, which is, that just means that you re liposuctioning fat from somewhere in your body and putting it into the butt." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that fat that is put into the butt, they have to like over-inject because a certain percentage, it could be like up to 50%, will actually not take." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re waiting for each one of those fat cells to get a blood supply." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once they get a blood supply, they re like, okay, we re gonna hang out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now we ve got food coming in, we ll stay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But until they get that blood supply, the ones that don t get the blood supply, they die out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to make this enormous round, like it s kind of crazy how large they make them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s a big difference that I ve seen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s people that either" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "don t have enough fat on their body to liposuction it out and put it in their butt, or they don t want to go through that surgery because that s a really, really painful, long recovery kind of surgery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they opt for things that are faster," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but really, really dangerous, like life-threatening dangerous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And BBLs as a surgery, they have a lot of risk, but at least you have a surgeon, hopefully a surgeon, not their assistant, doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of these people, if we can go into it if you want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, let s do it, let s get into it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was really shocking to me, because I kind of thought that this," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "era of injecting silicone was a little bit over." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because now people know what can happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they used to do silicone injections into the lips." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing is, they would look good for like four or five years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then that silicone would migrate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And unlike a migrating hyaluronic acid, it s not reversible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem is, not only is it not reversible, but even if you went in for surgery to get it cut out, it s like trying to cut out jam from a sponge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t, you have to cut part of the sponge, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re having like way uneven skin texture and tone and it s just a big nightmare." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had a client come in and she was really excited because she had just had her butt done and she wanted to tell me all about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Little did I know, I thought she had gotten a Brazilian butt lift and had the liposuction and so she said, yeah, I just did it yesterday and I m thinking," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you standing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I asked her, I said, where did they take the fat?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you look extremely thin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was like, probably five, four and a hundred pounds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m thinking, where did they get this fat from?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she goes, oh, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just had injections." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m thinking like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What did you get injected?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she shows me a picture of her butt and it is very, very large." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, what, what did they put in there?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She doesn t know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How much did they put in?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, two and a half vials." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m thinking, okay, so a normal vial of" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of just like saline would be 50 milliliters." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m thinking she probably saw a 50 milliliter bottle, which is like about that tall, that wide." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s still, that s a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s 50 syringes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Each 50 milliliter is 50 syringes of filler." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m thinking that s probably a hundred syringes of filler." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, you know, it was kind of weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, where d you get it done?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, well, it was in a hotel room." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she goes, yeah, this woman, she comes in once a month or once every other month, and she has just a line of girls." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, how much did you spend on this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She said, well, for each vial is $5,000, but you have to bring cash." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have chills." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate this shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is really unsafe that you don t know what it was that was injected." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, well, I have a picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to see it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so she showed me a picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the little vial, the 50 ml vial that I thought it was going to be, it wasn t that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the size of your cup right here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like 16 ounces." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there was one of those little white, no, the little clear plastic cups that you get at the hotel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she goes, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what she would do is she would pour it from there into that cup, and then she would draw it up with a syringe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was all in the picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I have the picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll show it to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then she would just inject it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, what is that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the picture, I notice a little thing of superglue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She goes, oh, yeah, that s what she uses to close up after she goes in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was, not only was I speechless," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but I told her that she is lucky to be alive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I made her promise to never do it again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I said, you need to tell your friends that this is life-threatening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many other reasons why it s not okay, which I will get into." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, one highly illegal, but that s not even... The real problem here is if that needle punctures a blood vessel," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that silicone goes into any vessel, even though it s in the buttocks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just like I said, the street that I pulled in here, it s connected to the 405, it s connected to a freeway in New York if we drive long enough, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if that gets into a blood vessel in the buttocks," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that can go to your head and you have a stroke and die." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can go to your lungs and you can have a pulmonary embolism." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can die." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a joke." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not something to take." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She goes, yeah, there was like 10 girls." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And she was telling me some of the names and I knew some of the names." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, have you seen throughout time people risking their lives?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is that something that s been consistent throughout, or do you think that s newer now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s newer, and I think these girls are making a lot of money on certain websites." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the other problem is that they show their friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it looks good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For a few years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re like, oh, I had it three years ago, it still looks good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But guess what happens in three, four, five years?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Silicone, it s not like fat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A fat in a BBL, it has a blood supply." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, we moved in, we re staying, we re not moving." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But silicone is just kind of hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like suspended animation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s this little thing called gravity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it doesn t happen overnight, it doesn t happen in a year, it doesn t happen in two years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give it three, four, five, six years and slowly but surely it has the melted candle effect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it goes down to the point of least resistance." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The point of least resistance is the bottom of the buttocks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it starts to look like you re wearing a dirty diaper." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all bottom heavy and it s impossible to cut out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And these girls are just lucky they re alive because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t get it got reported." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think about a year ago I read about it that it was that someone actually died here in Los Angeles by one of these illegal butt injections Yeah, it s a serious issue and up and I just wish these girls knew that it s not gonna look good in a few years Yeah, and that there s nothing you can do to take it out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think a lot of girls feel like oh" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They need these things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone else is doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone else is doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the truth is, if you re going to somebody who doesn t have a real credential, then it s like, if somebody doesn t have a credential, they re not going to tell you the dangers of what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s just this mess." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s why the topic of any sort of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, enhancements from Botox to silicone filler." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the reason why I think it s so controversial." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The people that have good work, you think they haven t done anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s called good work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s subtle and it s little and it s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, injections get a bad rap because of the ones that are done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "poorly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that there s just that limit that a lot of people, because they re so influenced by what they see online, they kind of keep striving and they think it s going to make them happier if they just get a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you know, I feel like we ve never had a time in history where beauty standards have been more complex." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, there s been dangerous phases in the past, but this feels different." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It feels different because it s in your face every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I was growing up, we had magazines and you d look through and you would see these beautiful models that are airbrushed and they look great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you put the magazine away and you go on with your day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But now it is constant and every day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a 13 year old niece." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t want her thinking that you have to do all these things, you know, to attain this beauty standard that s really not realistic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that s why I really push with her skincare." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you can have a beautiful glowing skin, I don t care how old you are, you will look and feel really great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so to me, that s the foundation for everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "really great skin, and there s so many things you can do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is some lasers and stuff like that, and it is some products, but it s also supplements." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s also getting enough sleep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s also decreasing your stress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s looking at your daily habits." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I see people come in and they ll have" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a lot of blackheads on the one side of their face." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they ll sit there and we ll talk to each other and, you know, we discuss what they want to get done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the whole time they re doing this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then afterward, I ll ask them, do you touch your face?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they always say no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, really?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because in the last 15 minutes, you ve touched your face like 25 times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what are you doing when you touch your face?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re feeding those" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "those pimples or those blackheads, you are literally feeding them and it s like watering a plant, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So these lifestyle changes, once you re aware of them, you can change how you behave in order to decrease the chance that those are going to be problematic, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re doing dermaplaning, which is so popular, and you notice that after you do dermaplaning," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The day after or two days later, you break out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, maybe dermaplaning is not good for your skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it s actually causing those oils to get trapped and causing a little bit of abrasion in the skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So things that you see that you think like, oh, everyone s doing them on Instagram and TikTok, and it must be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Also, too many products." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A lot of people use too many products." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally overdo it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you don t need all those products." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s that whole education that I like to really focus on with people because they get little bits and pieces and they don t know what is real and what is appropriate for them and what is not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And not everything, a retina is not appropriate for everyone, you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve seen" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "little girl is going to the store getting retinols and stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, this is not appropriate for your skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to rip away at the acid mantle that is protecting your skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s going to make you more sensitive to the sun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s just not appropriate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not necessary either." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "collagen doesn t decrease until your mid to late 20s, and then it decreases just a little bit every year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think that there s, because we are constantly inundated with quote unquote information, it s really hard to decipher, okay, which is this going to the pile of really true information, or maybe true but not for me, or completely false." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when people say, oh, once you start doing Botox, you have to do it forever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s totally false." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, I heard that for years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Botox just stops the muscle movement under the skin." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It pauses it, like puts it on pause." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that skin can t move in and out and in and out, and it prevents the wrinkle from forming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think aging completely naturally with nothing?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your thoughts on that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that, I ve struggled with this when it comes to different cosmetic sort of procedures, because I m like, do I preserve the natural human form?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that even need to be preserved?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this moral dilemma, and I ve gone back and forth about it forever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so you probably don t remember this, but way back when, when I was growing up, there used to be ads on TV," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that someone would walk into a room and she had this beautiful hair and it would say, does she color her gray?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Only her hairstylist knows for sure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was shameful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does she cover her gray?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, she s old enough to have gray." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She must have gray." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the only person that knows is her hairstylist because she doesn t tell anyone because it s a secret." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like that s the same now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas, like, no one cares about the hair anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so beyond no one even cares." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, oh, who colors your hair?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so obvious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not even rude to ask that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not taboo." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so accepted." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wonder if that s going to happen with especially Botox and, like, you know, even different, like, microneedling, different lasering." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wonder if it s going to become a thing at some point where it s not taboo." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, most people do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s already kind of getting to that point." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it is too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Overall, if you look at this whole industry as a whole, what you do, but also even plastic surgery, just this whole space of aesthetic enhancements, do you think that this is having a net positive impact on the world or net negative?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as a whole?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh gosh, that s a really hard question." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we need to pump the brakes a bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that it s gotten to the point now where we need to start focusing on things that are really important" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "focusing our time and effort on building" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "our internal self, I think that we need to really hone those kind of skills and teach those to our youth and celebrate those kind of things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s gotta be more than just looks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like, you know, the industry of various, I don t even know the word to use, like cosmetic enhancements, medical cosmetic aesthetic enhancements." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, the whole industry," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In general, I actually think that it s pretty miraculous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "for somebody who got into a car accident, for somebody who has, you know, really bad jaw pain, whether it s something like that or it s just, I don t like my nose and I want it to look different." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is a miracle that we ve figured out how to do these things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that the reason why we can t necessarily celebrate these advancements to the level that we want to is because we live in a very vain era of society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so now it s like these," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "advancements mixed with society focused on vanity, like where vanity is like the number one pillar of whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, that s why it s a bad combo, which I think is unfortunate because how great would it be if there wasn t this sort of universal dysmorphia happening all at once?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what makes it so horrifying." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re probably overwhelmed by that, but then at the same time, you re like, I want to do good here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s just," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know, does it ever keep you up at night?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The older my clientele gets, the more accepting they are of themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s really refreshing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, once people have children, they kind of realize, oh my gosh, I can t control everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m gonna do what makes me feel good, but those little things that used to bug me, it s kind of like that don t sweat the small stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The older you get, the less you sweat the small things, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I do think it s a factor of age." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I feel like my duty is to kind of reiterate that to my younger clientele and then steer them on the path to what s really gonna make you look good, feel good, and be in the best possible situation for you to excel in life in general." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just about lasers and injectables." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a lot about sleep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a lot about dealing with your stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, for someone to say, deal with your stress, it s such a vague concept, but when I give them really tangible things that they can do, and I ll say, download this app here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve already gone through the thousands of meditations." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are the four great ones." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want you to commit to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is why I have these conversations." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have long meetings with my clients, because I really want the best results." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not just here, boom, boom, boom, inject, bye." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, I will do these things, but this is all the background stuff that has to happen also." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once you get all of this under control, you are going to look better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are going to feel better, because you re giving your body all the resources it needs in order for, your body wants to heal itself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we do things that strip away your body s capacity to heal itself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the things that we do?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We stay up too late." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Drugs and alcohol." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really delve into that with my clients and I say, you know, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you taking certain supplements?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you washing your face every night before you go to bed?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have acne on your back, after you wash the conditioner out of your long hair, do you lift up your hair and then wash off that residual conditioner that s now on your back clogging your pores?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, I used to have that so bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so all of these things, and most of the time when you go to the dermatologist," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they don t have that much time to sit down and talk to you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, and they re not looking at, I feel like I m a skin detective." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go around and I m like, let s, let me see your makeup brushes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they ll open their bag." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, they re right here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh, so your makeup brush is just touching your wallet, which you were just the earth cafe on the counter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on the, with the money." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so now you re putting that now on your face." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, oh, I didn t think about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of these things you don t think about, you know, that are, that are exacerbating whatever problem you have with your skin." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many factors." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your diet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you eating a lot of processed foods?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I mean, a lot of people say drink more water and it s, it s, that s great, but there s a lot more to it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve got to decrease the amount of sugar and processed foods that you re eating." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of these things work together to really, to really help you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think too, you know, a lot of people," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think in a way because now getting various procedures, it s so much more available now that I feel like people feel like they can be lazy when it comes to taking care of themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think for optimal results, you re completely right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like someone should come in the best possible version of themselves." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Obviously, none of us are perfect." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re always gonna like, you know, be like, oh, I didn t sleep that well last week, but it s like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "bird s eye view, if you wanna get a procedure done, you should probably get your routine in order first, because I think- It s like before you get pregnant, be in the best shape." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that your pregnancy s easier." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the other thing is, with some of the lasers and stuff that I do, if you get sun exposure afterward, you could actually cause something called hyperpigmentation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s called PIH, post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you could make the pigmentation worse." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you get this sun exposure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I m going to show you a picture." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want you to tell me what, this is a truck driver, he drove a truck his whole life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so we know that UVA rays penetrate glass and clouds, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you tell me what side his window was on?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s pretty fucking obvious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s pretty obvious, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s on the right, the one I m looking at." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s on his left." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so what does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That means that the UVA light that s penetrating into your car is aging your skin." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I always, I went to get my driver s license, and I took the test, and I took the test with my hands down here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The guy that was giving me the test was like, well, you need your hands at 10 and two." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know what 10 and two was, because I always saw my dad drive like this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He never drove like this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He was driving with his hands underneath the wheel because he was like, I don t want my hands to get wrinkled." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he just started wearing sunscreen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Isn t that so funny?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, this just made me want to wear it better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s a reason why it s called the glove box, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can get gloves on Amazon that are like $5 that have the fingers cut out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what else you can use them for?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, when you get your nails done." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gel manicure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve got these gloves everywhere." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they re $5.99." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in my glove compartment." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re at my house." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s probably one in my purse, because I always want them there for if I do a gel manicure or when I m driving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the other culprit to skin aging is the sunroof." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re sitting in our car all day long." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just baking all that UVA light." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some people go, Oh, I think mine has a UV filter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, I don t believe it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like racking my brain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can I fix this?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I realized $7 solution at CVS." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went in and got a piece of black poster board." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just put it up between the two." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have total blackout in my car." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, you have so many life hacks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like go through all of your life hacks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, so that s a great life hack." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other life hack I have for people who maybe don t want to get Botox or, you know, it s it s pretty expensive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you notice that you have a tendency to frown." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I cannot do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have a tendency to frown and you constantly are like scowling, maybe you re thinking a lot or maybe that s just your go to expression." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oftentimes people will also do it while they sleep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they re kind of setting those wrinkles in while they sleep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can go to the hardware store and get paint tape." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or there s also a tape by 3M, it s called paper tape, and you can get it on Amazon, but you can also get it at all of the drugstores, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So say you re sitting around and you re studying, or you inadvertently frown your eyes when you sleep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re obviously not going out like this, but if you are one of those kind of people that does it often, you should take that and then" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Put it right here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then every time you make that frown, it s like a constant tap on the shoulder reminder." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if you do a little bit, it reminds you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you go, oh, wow, I was doing it again." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was trying not to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So wear that when you sleep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can leave it right by your bed, and it comes right off." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like people take the hacks too far?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, how do you feel about, I remember I saw this straw one time that s like, so that you don t like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like so instead of going like I think that s a little crazy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like a straw where you could just go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dude, I ve seen it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a little ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Isn t that crazy?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, because wrinkles are there when you re doing something constantly and excessively." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, like having a little sip out of the straw, it s like, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That I would not buy into." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like when you re making an expression all day long." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like it can t become an obsession." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you need to have a healthy relationship with like, okay, I am going to age a little bit, but also it s about finding ways to integrate, you know, whether it s into your beauty" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that could be going and getting Botox or filler." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could also just be your skincare routine and sunscreen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like finding ways to naturally integrate, you know, these things into your schedule in a way that doesn t control your life, though." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can t control your life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the key." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that balance is what sometimes it takes a little bit more life experience to get there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people get it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But some people, you kind of have to live a little longer to realize, okay, I am not going to obsess over X, Y, Z. I m going to just kind of like have a more balanced approach." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yes, do things, do things because they make you feel better and look better, but take it, don t take it to the extreme because that s when you can get into some real problems." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is really interesting how different, I don t think people," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "take seriously enough how your well-being impacts the way that you look." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s everything." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People do not realize that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve made shifts in my life and gone like, let s say I saw somebody at one point" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a bad point, and then six months later I see them again, and I m in a way better point, they know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without even me opening my mouth, they re like, something s different with you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You look vibrant, you look alive, you look so healthy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas before, the last time they d seen me, I was depressed and in bad situations, and they caught on to it, and it was so fascinating." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, again, I think" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all these different things that we can do to make ourselves look and feel better, but it has to start there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really does." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sounds corny and it sounds stupid, but I think even you must agree." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It all starts there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like when someone s in love." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can tell." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want you and everyone else to be in love with themselves." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, so much in love with yourself that you re like, oh no, I m going home to go to bed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, no, I m not gonna do that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m gonna eat this instead or yeah, just be in love with yourself and treat yourself like you were in love with yourself." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, super kindly and You ll see a difference." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it is palpable true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah Is there anything else you want to touch on?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s good." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we did everything." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We did so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, that was phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was great." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, thank you for coming on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks for having me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the best." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was awesome." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll see you soon for laser." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe masseter Botox." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are noticing a decrease, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I exfoliated and it was like, it all fell out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the difference between laser hair removal using IPL." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it works." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was amazing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s permanent." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, also one other thing I want to add, don t be embarrassed if you go somewhere to get your laser hair removal and you have a hair or two or three growing in an area that you think is so weird because it s actually not weird." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have done laser hair removal on people s tips of their nose." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve done it on women, the belly, like bikini going all the way up to the belly button, nipples, toes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "back, lower back, nape of the neck, all these areas." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get one on my chin." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, in chin, exactly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need you to help me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s there right now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been touching it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The other key is you have to do it while you re young because once that hair turns white," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re done." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re dead." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t get it anymore." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The only way to get rid of a white hair is to do something where they put like a really thin needle and they electrocute it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a one by one process, like one hair at a time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, next time I m in, can we do my one chin?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the other thing is, is you have to make sure that it s shaved and not plucked." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, right, right, right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I need that root." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If there s no root in there, my laser s like, yeah, I don t see anything." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if there s a root, it s like, we see where we need to." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so excited for my one chin hair." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, actually, we ll talk about my special spots next time I m in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sounds great." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, see you then." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for coming on, you re the best." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are the best." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,838
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I had an epiphany recently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big shocker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Huge shocker." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bet you ve never heard me say those words before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had an epiphany recently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bet you ve never heard me say that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I actually start every episode with that exact phrase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re probably getting sick of it, but there s no way to get around it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if an episode sprung out of an epiphany, I cannot weasel my way around that fact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I must" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "state it at the beginning of the episode." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of my podcast episodes stem from an epiphany." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe I m overthinking it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re not annoyed with me saying that in the beginning of 90% of my episodes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it excites you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m just insecure today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It actually might be that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of am having an insecure day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just woke up feeling like the world was mad at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the worst fucking feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the worst feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because no one s mad at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quite literally, no one s mad at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ironically, if I annoy the people around me, asking them, are you mad at me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you mad at me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For no reason, they actually might become mad at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a brief little peek into my brain today that you didn t ask for, but that s my headspace right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m being a complete nuisance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you know, I had an epiphany recently within the last few months, and it s been a really fascinating epiphany because it s about a belief that I ve had that I wasn t fully conscious of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve found that subconscious beliefs can be even more powerful at times than conscious beliefs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "powerful in the sense that they impact your day-to-day life even more than conscious beliefs at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because conscious beliefs are sort of a choice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re fully aware of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in the front of your mind all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You speak about them a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel in control of conscious beliefs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas subconscious beliefs, they impact your behavior, they impact the choices that you make, but you re not even fully aware that it s there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like, I want to use the word parasite, but that s just not the right word." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like almost being possessed by an evil spirit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not necessarily by an evil spirit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Subconscious beliefs possess you in a way that sort of takes away your control of your life in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it impacts the decisions that you make, and it impacts what you do, but you don t even notice that you re doing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The subconscious belief that I ve carried almost my whole life is that people who are harder to get are better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who are harder to get can provide more value in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people who are harder to get are worth striving to have in your life most of the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Saying this out loud is icky to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gross to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate saying it out loud because this is a belief that if I had spoken it sooner, I would have demolished it sooner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have gotten rid of it sooner because I know in my conscious brain that that s not true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some reason, I ve always believed that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it took a handful of friendships and relationships to make me realize that that s not the case." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think this discovery started maybe a year or two ago with some really automatic, beautiful friendships that were not challenging to acquire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But within the last few months, it really became vivid to me that I ve subconsciously had it all wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this applies more to relationships, romantic relationships, than it does to friendships, but it definitely applies to friendships as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the epiphany for me stemmed more from various experiences in romantic relationships, but arguably it started with good friendships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But to sort of flesh out my belief that people who are harder to get are in some way better or more valuable," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me give you some examples." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I subconsciously used to believe that a friend group that is harder to break into is the ideal group to be in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Subconsciously, I thought, they must be hard to break into because they re such great friends and they have such high standards that they only let good people into their group." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Therefore, I should strive to be better to get into their group." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or they re so cool and they have such good taste and this, this and that, that they only want to be around people who are on their level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why they re such a hard group to break into." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A challenging friend group to enter to me was a sign of superiority." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was like, there s a reason why their friend group is hard to get into." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a reason why it s not easy for me to get into this group." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I m not as good as them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to make myself better to get into their group, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In romantic relationships, I ve always loved a man who s hard to get." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been more attracted to a man who s hard to get." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my head, I used to think they re challenging to get because they re probably a dream to date." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have to be so picky because they re such great partners and everyone wants to be with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they don t like me back because they re just drowning in options and they have to make the right choice because they re such a catch, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably so emotionally available, and so romantic, and so sweet, and so caring, and so thoughtful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That must be what it is!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I guess I associated challenge with value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more challenging something is to acquire, the more value that it holds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, I m mainly talking about relationships with other people, but this could also apply to anything, honestly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say you re comparing two colleges, two universities." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of us automatically assume that we should go to the college or to the university that s harder to get into, because that means that the school is better, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or with a job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which job is harder to get?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is a more prestigious position?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that probably is a better job to get." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the thing that s so complicated about all of this is that, as with almost all things, two things can be true at once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something that s hard to get can actually be good for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can actually provide a lot of value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be worth striving for, but not always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s where my prior belief was toxic because I didn t give people or things or opportunities a fair judgment because I was like, it s too easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s right here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And immediately in my mind, I was like, that means it s not as valuable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should search for something more challenging to acquire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are a lot of times when things that are right there in your life are a phenomenal option and they shouldn t be overlooked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us get the ick from mutual desire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this mainly applies to relationships, but this could also apply to, again, anything like jobs, schools, etc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think as humans, we re put off by things that are too easy sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I read an article on psychcentral.com about why it s ingrained in a lot of us to be put off by mutual desire." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, we re excited about the thrill of the chase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s something almost drug-like about chasing something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It consumes you completely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of an escape, in my experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I don t know if that s something that everyone experiences, but when I m chasing something, it feels like I m under a spell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am fully tunnel-visioned." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether it s having a crush on someone, or it s wanting to break into a friend group, or it s wanting to get a certain job that s really challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, whatever it may be, it s like tunnel vision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To have a goal, and to be like, I m gonna chase that to the end." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think a lot of us are excited about what s at the end of that journey, but there s something addicting about the journey there too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I love chasing something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s stressful, it s emotionally turbulent, but it consumes me in a way that takes me away from other stressors in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I m obsessed with a boy and I have a huge crush on a boy and he s hard to get, I ll tell you, I m not stressed out about work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not stressed out about my career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not stressed out about my health or the health of anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have a lot of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get health anxiety about myself, my loved ones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I get career-related anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times I get career-related anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have so much anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I have a huge crush on a boy, I don t have anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only have anxiety about this boy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think we love the chase because it s exciting and it s exhilarating, but also because it can be a distraction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us also find" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being accepted by a challenging to get person or thing will validate us because we put those things on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we re validated by those figures on the pedestal, then that means we re brought up to their level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s validating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we crave that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But putting things on a pedestal is all a figment of our imagination." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we could debate right now about whether or not anything belongs on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does anything belong in a pedestal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, my personal belief is, yeah?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ah, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t think anything belongs on a pedestal, because I think it s always taken too far." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, maybe there s a way to have a healthy relationship with putting things up on a pedestal in a way that doesn t make us feel insecure, in a way that doesn t make us feel small, in a way that doesn t put the wrong things on the pedestal, maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think for the most part, we don t utilize the pedestal correctly, and it ends up just being unhealthy for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we look at somebody who has maybe a more prestigious job than us, and we put them on a pedestal, and it s like, yeah, but are they happy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they even like their job?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a whole other topic for another day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But validation feels good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And being accepted by a figure of some sort that we put on a pedestal feels good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it satisfies our ego." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This article also mentioned low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you have low self-esteem, you re hungrier for validation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re hungrier for an intense validation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we don t feel as validated by something or someone who was easy to get." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s a less intense form of validation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when your self-esteem is really low, you re going to be more likely to choose things that will give you a huge boost if accepted by them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that explains why I ve always liked boys who are hard to get, is that I ve always had particularly low self-esteem when it comes to dating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always, always had low self-esteem with dating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it started, well, there s many places it could have started, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most notably in middle school and high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a late bloomer The boys would make fun of me because I had my body was not as developed And so they they wanted to see boobies and I didn t have boobies and it was just like ew emma s gross because of that and Ever since then I think i ve always felt like less of a woman in a weird way like that scarred me, you know not having the physical" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "attributes that are most womanly was an issue in middle school and high school and it reared its ugly head and it was shoved in my face and I was made very aware of it and I think that fucked with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think not being a super hyper feminine woman just by nature, like the clothes that I wear, even the way that I speak, my voice, you know, what my voice sounds like, like all of these things," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are not stereotypically hyper feminine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s also made me self-conscious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like not feeling like this proper woman in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of that has bothered me for a long time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s something I m sort of getting over now in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, that s always impacted my self-esteem in relationships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it makes sense that I ve always liked guys who are hard to get because I ve always had low self-esteem in that area." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, according to this article, we as humans have a tendency to unconsciously place superhuman characteristics on our object of desire, which again puts them on that pedestal that makes them feel so irrationally exciting when they re really just human like everyone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or the opportunity is good, yeah, maybe on paper, but it s probably not what you think it s going to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a good example is with dating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We really fill in the gaps when we re chasing someone who is kind of playing hard to get." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know that much about them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re playing hard to get." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re removed from us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have access to them in the way that we want to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our imaginations run wild." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I bet they re so emotionally available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bet the sex is amazing with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bet they re probably so romantic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll probably get married." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy to go there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or with a job opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy to be like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, if I got this job, everything else in my life would be fixed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It would somehow solve every problem I have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, maybe that s true, but probably not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are all superhuman, paranormal, arguably paranormal, wrong word, but only word I can think of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, from this article, the less the person or opportunity or thing reciprocates, the more time we tend to invest trying to get the thing, the person, the opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something about spending time on something that makes us more invested." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more time we spend invested on something, the more determined we are to get the result that we want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we don t want to waste time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eww!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to waste time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eww!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s... No, we don t want that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a horrible feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To feel like we wasted time?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horrible feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, some would argue there s no such thing as wasting time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you always learn something from working towards something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we can still feel like we ve wasted time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a shitty feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the more time we spend trying to get this thing, the more invested we feel in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to feel more invested in something that s hard to get than something that was just handed to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, the epiphany I had, I think is going to change my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone or something s value has nothing to do with how hard you worked to get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not related." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my head before they were related, the level of challenge directly correlated with the value in my head before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The epiphany I had was, uh, those two things are unrelated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are two separate variables." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are not connected at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, sometimes they are," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, a really phenomenal potential partner could be really sought after and they could be harder to get because they re genuinely a great person and everyone wants to date them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, maybe, but somebody who s hard to get can also be a horrible, horrible person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trust me, someone you really don t want in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there might be a job opportunity that s super shiny and when you get the job, it s actually great and you love the job and you re happy that you got the job and it did improve your quality of life to an extent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also you could see this shiny job and be like, I need to get this job and you could finally get the job and then be like, I m miserable and I hate this job and I miss my old job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, again, it s not directly correlated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just simply is not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to relationships with people, romantic or platonic, a lot of times the people who are hard to get are not the people for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like majority of the time, because in healthy relationships, the love, the admiration, the excitement is mutual." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s what is the foundation of good relationships across the board is mutual feelings." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a rare occasion when people play hard to get with you because they re playing a game and they really like you, but they just want to use psychology to make you like them more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d say for the most part, people play hard to get for other reasons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they re not even playing hard to get." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just don t like you like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t want to be friends with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t want to date you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels like they re playing hard to get, but it s like, no, they just don t like you, which is fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s human." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they are playing a little psychological game and playing hard to get to make you like them more, is that really somebody that you want?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want a relationship built on games?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trust me, I ve done it, but it s just, it s, you don t want that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so exhausting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of the best relationships happen automatically, seamlessly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my two best friends, I met them through work and we became friends because while working together, we just started talking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my stylist, Jared, and his boyfriend, Owen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we just naturally became friends through working together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we just naturally started hanging out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there was never any pushback." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was never fighting to become friends with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were never fighting to become friends with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just sort of happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was right in front of me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re phenomenal friends to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I think of even longer term friendships, like friends that I ve had for seven, eight years," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those friendships started in a similar way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were so easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were so automatic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was never fighting to get in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it just happened, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the friends that I made because I really wanted to be friends with them and I thought to be friends with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I made a really strong effort to be friends with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of those friendships have fizzled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve done that a lot over the course of my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to break into this friend group, try to break into that friend group." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m like, oh, I want to be in this group." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so appealing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those friendships don t last, in my experience anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve not retained any of those friendships, none." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And obviously, all the guys that I ve dated that have been really hard to get, where are they now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not with me, not with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because with all those boys, one of three things has happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Either number one, they never liked me back, and then I just let it go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they were just playing a game, and they did like me back, but then our relationship was built on games, so then that s destined for failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then option number three, they were playing hard to get because they liked me, but not that much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They didn t like me enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The feelings weren t mutual." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked them more than they liked me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they liked me, but they didn t like me enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, of course, that was also destined for failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see, every relationship I ve had that started with somebody being hard to get, which is most of them, absolutely blew up in flames." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us get grossed out in romantic situations when someone likes us a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we re like, ew, what s that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew, like, you re creepy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do you like me so much?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a lot of us do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us have that reaction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, it s so much better to date someone who likes you just as much as you like them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe even it feels like they like you a little more than you like them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many of us are put off by that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was put off by that for years, but it s so no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the beginning, you may have feelings where you re like, Oh, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is too easy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not a challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might even get the ick from it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might even get the ick from mutual desire." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s worth pushing through to see if you can come around to the mutual feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a huge recommendation I have for people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wait it out if someone likes you back or someone likes you first give them a chance a little bit before you if you re like oh i think i do like them but i don t know i m kind of grossed out because they like me back too much give them a chance before you fully blow it off" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just see so many people in my life blowing people off the second that they find out that the liking is mutual because they re like, ew, now I m grossed out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be a wasted opportunity, I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really worth pushing through because I think the best romantic relationships are formed on mutual obsession and excitement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe obsession is the wrong word." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of an extreme word, but you get what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you like someone so much and then the second that they like you back, you don t like them anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That feeling where you re like, Oh, I don t like them anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is short lived." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t end it the second that that happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t cut that person off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t say, Oh, I m done now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait it out a minute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give it a minute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m serious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just see what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, see what happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I think that s where a good relationship is born." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Call me crazy for that, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it comes to opportunities in life, a certain job, a certain school, a certain city to live in, whatever it may be, just because it s harder to get doesn t mean it s good for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you have two job opportunities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One pays more money and is harder to get but requires you to work seven days a week and you have to be available 24-7 to answer calls for this job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it is a full-time job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then let s say the other job is an easier job to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s less prestigious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It requires less training." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s less of a flex to say in conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but you only have to work four days a week and a lot of cool people work there and you re going to make enough money to be comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To many people, that first job opportunity is more appealing, more money, more bragging rights, harder to get, better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s an opportunity that should be taken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the second job just sort of looks like, oh yeah, I mean I could live happily with that job as well, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not as much of a flex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not as much of an accomplishment to have this job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m going to choose the harder one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, this becomes a question of what makes something valuable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If something s valuable to you because it gives you bragging rights, it s impressive, it s shiny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well then, go ahead with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think something s valuable when it improves your quality of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It allows you to live a happy, fulfilling life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, that other job, four days a week, good people around, a little bit less money, a little bit less prestigious, like, that is a better option in my eyes, because that option would make you happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have time to pursue hobbies, you have the opportunity to make new friends, like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This all comes down to what your definition of value is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your definition of value?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s what is going to be the most fulfilling, what is going to create the best quality of life, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why this is such an important conversation is because a lot of us waste so much time chasing things that are hard to get because we re like, ah, in order to be successful, we must acquire as many things that are hard to get as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in reality, that s not the case, necessarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are things that are hard to get that are worth getting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t ever want to discourage anyone from striving for that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess it s like in order to strive for that responsibly, you have to ask yourself why you re striving for that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like me trying to date a guy who s hard to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, why am I doing that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I doing that because I ultimately want to be in a happy relationship?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or am I doing that because I feel insecure and I want the validation?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or am I doing that because I ve placed superhuman powers on this person?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I doing it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I want to get this job because it s fulfilling for me, truly, even though it s hard or challenging?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do I want to get this job because there s bragging rights associated?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I want this job?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I really do think that to live a fulfilled life, you have to remove ego from your choices." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to remove ego from the way that you decide to do things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only then can you make the most responsible decisions for your own life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there is no formula, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like things that are hard to get good, things that are easy to get bad, too easy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a case by case basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life becomes so much easier when we allow ourselves to enjoy things that are easy to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A friend group that warmly welcomes us in, someone who we have a crush on, who really likes us back, maybe even more than we do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A job that presented itself in such an organic and easy way that we feel qualified to do, that s gonna allow us to live the life that we wanna live." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m stoked about this epiphany though, because I think it s going to impact every corner of my life in a positive way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, all the relationships in my life across the board right now are relationships that happen naturally, happened easily, that have complete mutual feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, no one s playing hard to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one is just simply hard to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s none of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few career goals that are a bit harder to get, but I also have some career goals that are not at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, let me, as always, as always, let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you agree with me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think I m off base?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can let me know on the Instagram at anything goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use the store locator or you can order online, which is epic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have matcha." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute accessories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have almost everything you could need for a sacred morning beverage ritual or afternoon beverage ritual." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, whenever you drink your beverages that are caffeinated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We do have decaf, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "chamberlaingcoffee.com, at chamberlaingcoffee on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give it a little peek." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all hanging out with me today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always such a pleasure just getting my thoughts out with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I love more than that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not a lot of things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are definitely some things, you know, that I love more than it, but it s, this is up there for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love our time together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are many things that I enjoy more, but no, I m kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, I love all of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate all of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for tuning in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stream anywhere you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you so soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to talk to you so soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll be sooner than you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember when I was little, I became obsessed with efficiency, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I became obsessed with taking the least amount of steps to get everything done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I m so excited to talk to Tim Ferriss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tim Ferriss is a household name in the self-help world, and he has a long list of things that he does." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, wow, that guy s productive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This guy does it all, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s an entrepreneur, he s an investor, he s an author, he s a podcaster, he s a lifestyle guru, and much, much more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has set a Guinness World Record." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He speaks, like, a bunch of languages." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He does acro yoga." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He does breakdancing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, dude, slow down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, he s one of those." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, whoa, whoa, slow down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s sort of the go-to guy for people looking for meaningful, practical, life-changing tips and hacks, because it s one thing to give a tip or a hack that s useful, but sort of impractical." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a level of mastery to figure out or distinguish what is" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a truly life changing hack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m very excited to dig in to that with him today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s written five number one New York times bestselling books, including the four hour work week tools of Titans, the tactics, routines, and habits of billionaires, icons, and world-class performers, tribe of mentors, short life advice from the best in the world and more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He has a podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, focuses on what we can learn from people who are at the top of their game." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Definitely go listen to that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Definitely go read the books." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could go on for hours, but the last honorable mention is he founded the SciSAFE Foundation, which is a foundation that focuses on cutting edge technology and research." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is, I think, a really special person because I feel like he is able to discuss" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "productivity in a way that feels human." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not hustle culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not, Oh, you got to do the most." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it needs to be the most shiny thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it needs to be Instagrammable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s all about finding the ways that you can optimize your performance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only for" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "success, but also for well-being and for fulfillment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m really excited to be talking to him today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We will link the SciSAfe Foundation down below if you want to check it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, a quick disclaimer, we do discuss mental health struggles" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "depression, suicide." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that s a sensitive topic for you, maybe don t listen to this one, Tim Ferriss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s bring him in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your whole thing is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the most productive man in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is, I mean, what a, what a stressful title." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Burden." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have to, I m curious if this started in childhood for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is this something that has followed you your whole life or did that become a part of your life later?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of it started early in the sense that from a really early age, I ve always been a systems person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I got fired from my first job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was a cleaner at an ice cream parlor called Snowflake, no longer exists on Long Island." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I figured out how to make the cleaning much more efficient, but that left me with a lot of extra time on my shift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just sat around reading magazines, which was not ideal for the boss, I suppose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I got fired, but that interest in finding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "elegant solutions, looking for fewer moving pieces." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that started really early." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a fascination for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s part of figuring out how things work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my mom was very good at" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "fostering that creativity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if I expressed any interest towards anything, marine biology, drumming, whatever it might be, then she would try to point me in a more focused way in that direction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then learning is just figuring out how things work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So fundamentally, I think that a lot of people have that interest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I might have a little more OCD on board, but it s not automatically stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think productivity can be stressful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "practical productivity that allows you to have some endurance should reduce stress." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if you re trying to pack as much as you can into every minute, then of course you re going to be a complete headcase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you remember your very first, like even before the ice cream shop, your very first sort of system?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually trying to think of mine too, because I ve always had that sort of brain where I m always trying to do things in the least amount of time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where it s like, how can I take the least amount of steps in my day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s sort of how my brain, that s how it started for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being productive was like, I want to do a straight line and get everything I need to get done, done on the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And by the way, productivity is just getting done what you want to get done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can dress it up and put it in a tuxedo and say, well, it s about maximizing your per hour output or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can find these other definitions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But really, it s just figuring out the straightest line from where you are to getting done what you want to get done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I don t know if this counts as a system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It seems like a very generous term for it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I remember being very small, maybe three years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve never talked about this, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t lead with my vroom vroom, so there s this car, it was like a little kid s car that I would put my knee on and then push, kind of like a..." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like a skateboard almost." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Kind of like a skateboard is the way I used it for better speed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there was this one step in the house that dropped down into this living room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I would clear things out of the way so that I could get maximum speed to fly off this thing, which didn t always turn out super well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s what I was going for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I wanted at the time was just max speed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for me, this was like the Olympic ski long jump." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m on my vroom vroom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I had to strain to think of a first memory, that s the one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, do you feel like productivity is boiled down?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to speed in a way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do you think it s all about speed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I actually think that that s where people screw up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I should say also, I m not like the paragon of ultimate productivity in the sense that my trick, if anything, is really basic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is that effectiveness, meaning what you do, is more important than efficiency, how you do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Another way to put it, whether you re trying to learn languages quickly or you re trying to build a business, like what you do is more important than how you do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because you can follow the herd, you can bend to the whim of the crowd, you can end up imitating even people who are close and good at what they do, who happen to be in your peer group or cohort." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you re not thinking for yourself, you end up getting really good at things that aren t actually that important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not gonna move the needle as much as other things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you choose the right thing to do, then even if you do a B minus job, that will be ultimately more impactful than doing an A plus job with something that is two levels down in importance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that can be applied everywhere, everywhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like I m curious," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you make that choice?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In someone s mind, how should they build the tier list of like, okay, what do I need to learn how to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it like the most important is what s going to be used the most often?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, you know, what does that look like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, there are a number of different ways to approach it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "An easy way to remember at least how I tend to approach it is with this framework which was in the first book, the 4-Hour Workweek, DEAL, which is Define, Eliminate, Automate, and then Liberate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can run through this real quick." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So define or definition is the most important." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s just really clearly defining what you are trying to accomplish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there are different tools you can use for that, but definition is number one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where is your target?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Where is the center of that target?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can you quantify any of it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t need to be quantified, but that is helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The second piece, which is most neglected, is elimination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How much can you stop doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How much can you remove?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How many steps can you put to the side, even temporarily?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right, so that you re majoring in the major things and not in the minor things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are very few critical things and there are a lot of trivial things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And in the quest for quote-unquote productivity, people tend to try to do a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and or do more and more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that is often a fool s errand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re young, I should say, and when I was young, you have to throw a lot against the wall in the beginning to just figure out what you re good at and what you like and what gives you energy instead of drains energy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to be different for different people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have definition than elimination, getting rid of as much as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then automation, and you can use tools for that, you can use systems for that, figuring out rules and policies to defend yourself from your lesser self." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you have liberation, which is taking advantage of different resources once you ve liberated them, like time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you have money, which is renewable, so you can afford to spend that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you can regain it later in some ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Time is a different thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Attention is a different thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Energy also somewhat of a different thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So figuring out how to use these currencies best once you liberate more of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sounds super abstract, but you can apply that to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Any skill you want to learn, you could apply that to building a business." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what you define and then what you eliminate, it s going to be super personal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for instance, I get asked all the time about writing books." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should I write a book?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I make my book a bestseller?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s usually where people start." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I make my book a bestseller?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I want to write a book." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, do you now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another one of my worst nightmares." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, like, why do you want to write a book?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And asking five whys, basically, this is an exercise a lot of people use." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I really want to share this teaching with the world, this, that, and the other thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m sick of my job and I would love to do speaking engagements." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I want to make an extra $250,000 a year and that would solve my problems." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, why do you believe that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you start drilling down and maybe at the end of the day you realize, actually when we do the math," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fucking fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to write a book." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if you were to want to get to that dollar amount, this is not the most effective way to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going through that type of process, which again, is just asking better questions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can then pick the target." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the point I want to make here is like picking the target or picking the game you want to play is more important than winning the game, whatever game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you re not aware, like beyond shelter and food and whatever, we re all playing different games." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re opting into different games." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m playing the podcast game or the book game or the angel investing game or fill in the blank." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And step number one is to figure out what games you re playing now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then to be really deliberate about what you choose to play." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Picking the right game is more important than being good at whatever game you happen to land in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can figure it out pretty quickly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do feel like a lot of people" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "choose the game for the wrong reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so easy to see a sparkly game and be like, I m going to go do that one instead of going and doing what you re maybe naturally good at, naturally going to succeed at maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a new way of thinking for me to be like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the end goal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if it s like a financial end goal, you just need to get there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s like what you do to get there doesn t need to be this sparkly thing, I guess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it doesn t need to be sparkly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of what strikes me as very interesting about you is I think you ve been very good at taking steps back to look at what game you re playing in a way that is very," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "beyond your years." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s been impressive to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think you re, you re very good at this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why, but you seem to be good at like pausing and stepping back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s just because you flame out and burn out and you re like, I need to take a step back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be part of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think it actually is because I almost feel like I m a very intuitive person so everything I do is very intuitive and I can feel immediately when I m playing the wrong game that it s not working and it s not even like I can" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "do it anymore, like my brain shuts off and I go full depression immediately if I m playing the wrong game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s sort of like my body telling me, it s miraculous in a way, like it s something I m sort of perplexed by even though it happens to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, well if I could, and this is just speculation on my part, but I would say that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the first part isn t speculation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first part is language is relatively new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Spreadsheets and pro and con lists on the scale of human evolution, pretty brand new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we have millions of years of evolution and other" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "means of knowing or evaluating our environment and things happening in our environment that we have trained ourselves, I think, by and large, to mute or ignore, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve come to overvalue the highly analytical, explicit numbers on a spreadsheet approach to things and problem solving, whereas" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like part of what you re doing is just using all these other means of sensing that are harder to put words into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have, since I was very young, had challenges with depressive episodes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I ve become much smarter about how I approach those, and they become less and less frequent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could talk about why that s the case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Far less frequent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some cases, though, like depression can, and I ll make this personal because I don t want to project all over you, but I just say sometimes when I ve been like, oh, I m feeling depressed, it s like, no, you re getting a signal and your energy has dropped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not automatically the same as this constellation of symptoms that we would call psychiatric depression." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep, completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those signals are easy to mix up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But oftentimes it s like, no, this is an energy out activity and your body is making you pay attention to that as opposed to an energy in activity, which is how I choose a lot of what I do, which comes back to like, okay, well, how do you choose the target?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give people just a, if it s helpful for folks, how I choose, say, the few big yeses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, I was about to ask this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in a world of infinite distraction and a million shiny objects and phones that force feed you temptation at all times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember I interviewed Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sachs at one point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He sadly passed away a few years ago, but he said one of the key skills is being able to distinguish between" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "let me get this right, an opportunity to be seized or a temptation to be resisted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that skill is going to be increasingly important." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to become very obvious this year with AI and many of the tools that are going to be used to inflict a fire hose of temptation on everyone, including the two of us sitting here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do I try to sift through that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of it is if you have a list of, let s just say, five things you might want to do, and I m in a transition period for myself right now where I m thinking about new things, 10th anniversary of my podcast is coming up in April." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like, oh yeah, let me use this as an opportunity to pause and think about what next chapters might look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a few ways that I look at my list of possible candidates and start to filter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one is how do I succeed even if I fail or can I succeed even if I fail with these?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I mean by that is if I try this project and by any external measurement it fails, whether that s books sold, views, subscribers, revenue, whatever, if it fails." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will I develop skills and relationships or deepen relationships and develop skills that will transfer to other things?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If so, that s not a failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can still have a very meaningful partial win, even if externally it s a total failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If any of those candidates don t check that box, they re out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That has to be a prereq, because then you snowball your way into long-term success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has never failed me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never seen that fail, and it s done really methodically over time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need endurance for that, which comes to the next point, which is energy in, energy out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, if you re not really excited about something, it s not quite the right word." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know you ve talked about this, you know, passion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these words are kind of clumsy labels that we try to apply to what I think fundamentally is like energy in, energy out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If language learning for me is energy in, and somebody else wants to compete in that, let s just say money, money was big in the language learning game, which it isn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, okay, I want to do that because five other people I respect are doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it seems like this exploding opportunity like AI or web three a couple of years ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to chase that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s energy out for you and it s energy in for me, I m going to win." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just no way around it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Assuming I have like the basic skills." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So choose a game you can win, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will this help me snowball into success long term?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will the skills and relationships transfer potentially to other things or persist after this, even if it fails or succeeds?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then beyond that, it s kind of doing an 80-20 analysis of what you re trying to do in your life, whether it s finance, personal stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, all right, let s rank order your life and break it down in some way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could do this a million different ways, but it s like, all right, finances," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "physical health, mental health, like which lever are you trying to pull?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, if you ve checked the first two boxes, then you check on the third, like is this addressing, say if you rank each of those on one to five, anything that s a three or less, you probably should deal with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, then you choose the overlap and that s what you go for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can fuck, sorry, am I allowed to curse?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can fuck that up every which way from Sunday." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m from Long Island, so I curse a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you go through that process and you choose the right target, you can have off days, you can have off weeks, you can have multiple days in a row where you think to yourself, what in the hell did I get done today?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was looking at my computer a lot, but I don t think I actually did anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as long as you have the right target and you get a little bit done," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "week by week, I mean, you really can produce some miracles from the outside looking in, but it s that front loading, that thought process in the beginning that really makes the difference." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if people looked at me from day to day, week to week basis, and if I had some journalists or various folks pitch me on like shadowing me for a day or a week, and I m like, no way, because it s going to look" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "terrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m going to look so, quote unquote, unproductive because there s a lot of empty space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of kind of feeling lost or being unsure of next steps." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are ways to improve that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not totally terrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as long as I ve taken my time in the beginning to do that type of deconstruction of things and assessment of things, if I have the right target, those off days don t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every time I m having like an off day or even an off week, well, actually in the beginning when I first started working and when I d have these off periods, I would feel horrific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d be like, this is, I m wasting my time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not getting anything done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now I lean into it because I ve realized that those periods are very productive because you re doing work in your subconscious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like sometimes the," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the off day, the off week can be productive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you agree with that to an extent?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, busyness is often laziness in disguise in the sense that you re not willing to sit with those spaces." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you choose something that s easy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You choose something that s sexy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You choose something that s shiny because it s right in front of you and it s easy to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you end up with" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "five kind of cool things that you re not particularly good at that drain you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is your schedule." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that target that you chose so carefully in the beginning just disappears." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although usually if you go through the trouble of choosing it, it doesn t disappear quite as easily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those empty spaces are" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to accomplish and have some end product to show for myself at the end of the day or the week as much as the next person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is important for positive reinforcement." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you look at the best scientists I ve ever interacted with, a lot of the best creatives," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of negative space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they actually deliberately create that for themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my feeling is, and this isn t across the board, there are always exceptions, but like, if you feel like you are rushing," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you are rushing almost certainly in the wrong direction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you feel like you re rushing, you re going the wrong direction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you ve chosen something that you re somehow uniquely or close to uniquely well positioned to do, right, because it s energy and you re building these skills and relationships, since it s energy and you re going to have some endurance, et cetera, et cetera, you don t need to rush." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the window of opportunity isn t going to close really quickly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If however, and I ve seen this with a lot of folks, you re chasing some specter of a fast disappearing opportunity because whatever the latest thing is, is what you re sprinting towards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re going to have to rush or you re going to feel like you have to rush." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And chances are 10 people can do it just as well, if not better, or maybe there are a hundred people or a thousand people and you ve chosen the wrong game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a bad game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for me, an indicator that I m probably running in the wrong direction with my hair on fire is if I feel rushed, I probably should take some time to think about what target I m aiming for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When did writing a book become a target for you, and why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After college, my senior thesis almost killed me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really was a brutal experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went to Princeton, where a senior thesis is a requirement, and it s a huge part of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "departmental or I should say your departmental average is a huge piece of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s very high pressure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how long mine was, 170 pages or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, by far and away the longest thing I d ever written." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just absolutely crushed me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know how to handle something of that scope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was very complicated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And after I was done with it," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which took way longer than I expected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I made this vow to myself that I would never write anything longer than an email ever again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way the first book came about is actually how I m thinking about exploring my next chapters a bit is teaching a class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had this professor at Princeton." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been really" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part lucky, part by design, but a lot of luck in terms of having some teachers who ve had huge impact on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Ed Schau, Z-S-C-H-A-U, was teaching this class called High Tech Entrepreneurship, and it was based on the Harvard case study method where they would use these real case studies of, say, business X has this problem or this goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What should they do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here are all the facts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pause." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then students have to figure out what they would do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the second half is, here s what the company did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he would bring in the CEOs or the former CEOs of these companies to explore their decisions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a great class." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started giving these lectures, and I think I guest lectured in this class from 2003 to 2013 or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every class asked for feedback from students." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what did you like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Favorite piece?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How could it improve?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I always ask for that kind of feedback." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do this all the time, by the way, with everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes Princeton kids can be snobby pricks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this one guy put in, I don t understand why you re teaching this class to like 30 students." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t you just write a book and be done with it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was not intended to be a serious recommendation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just a dickish response." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that stuck in my head, and I was like, eh, I don t want to write a book." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I reached out to a friend, this is years later, around 2004, who was an author, and I basically showed him my notes from the class, and I was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ve been thinking about what I m going to do next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I want to write a book, but what do you think of this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he replied with, you should definitely do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had some conversations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got turned down by a bunch of folks, uh, ended up finding a guy who was a superstar editor who had just become an agent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So he was new to that game, the agenting game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was new to the writing game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ended up really hitting it off and." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We signed, the book got turned down by 27, 29, somewhere in that range." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Publishers got turned down by everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then somebody bought it and then I had to write it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s how it happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was not as though I had this burning desire to write a book." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was one of these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think things that I have done that have been most" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Successful per se have been the things that I just cannot get out of my head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have to I have to do them which is what I say to people when they re like, uh, maybe I ll write a book I m like you should only write a book if like you have to write a book Yes It s almost like it has to like haunt you it has to haunt you and you almost have to like resent it in not like in a weird way where you re like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Leave me alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost like it starts like that sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not always, but I ve noticed with me too, like even with YouTube, it was like I had to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the same thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I was like, oh, it s not going to do well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I don t eat whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you feel, you know, the muse keeps like tapping you on the forehead long enough and you re like, ah, for fuck s sake, I ll be fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What would be your advice, I guess, to somebody who is so obsessed with productivity and like, you know, and success and this, this, and that, but they re miserable?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s a big question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of things are fundamentally driven by a desire to improve our lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we can get distracted by these secondary metrics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll give you a very simple example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Investing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re saving a certain amount of money, and you have that money to invest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you investing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People say, well, I m investing to grow my money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, you re investing to grow your money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do you want to grow your money?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, because then I ll have this money, and I ll have retirement." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do you want retirement?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, because I want security." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, what is security?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is that feeling that you re going for?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s ultimately, for a lot of people, feeling more peace of mind on a day-to-day basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what do they do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They decide to put it in the latest shitcoin, crypto, whatever, that is bouncing all over the place, and they re stressed out of their minds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, if you get distracted by the secondary metric of, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "compounded annual growth rate, you re going to make bad decisions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to keep the fundamental" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "underlying driver in mind, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say that for people who are miserable in the quest for productivity, often it s because they forget about like the layer one, now I m using crypto terms, but meaning the fundamental layer, they forget about the fundamental layer driver, like the primary driver they should pay attention to, and they re getting distracted by metrics that are higher up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that are vanity metrics or they re just distracting metrics, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not to beat this drum too hard, but it s like modern tech platforms are not" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "designed to maximize your well-being." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just to be very clear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, no, they re not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can come back to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will say that for people who are miserable with productivity, I would say generally it s because they probably have a target that is energy out instead of energy in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they have not taken the time to define a target, which is even worse." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And secondly, it s the belief that productivity means more is more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for me, I ll add one more thing to that, but for me, I m always looking for, if you look at any of my books, one of the commonalities is searching for something that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is called the minimum effective dose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you want to get a suntan?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going out in Australia, laying on the beach as pale as someone like me for like three hours straight, probably not the right way to start, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you want the minimum effective dose if you re using medication." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially with things that are a little dicey, like Tylenol, acetaminophen, which can have incredible liver toxicity if you take too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not that much at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re looking for the least you can take to produce the desired effect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how I think about productivity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to do, and there was a very famous, I m blanking on his name, track athlete who had many athletes with world records." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he said, the goal is to do the least necessary, not the most possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is a fun puzzle for me to try to solve." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I use the word elegance very deliberately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mentioned it earlier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the fewest pieces in the least dose to get what I want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you aim for that, you get fewer side effects, just like with drugs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last thing I would say is a lot of folks who are striving to be hyper-productive and they re really stressed out, it s because they have chosen a really crowded, what you might call red ocean." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A brutally competitive, fast-changing game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Aim to be a category of one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Choose an uncrowded game or create a new game for yourself where you can be the one and the only." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of the reason I m looking for what my new experiments might be is that when I started, for instance, the podcast in 2014, there were already podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there was a proof of concept, but it was not mainstream in any capacity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was very uncrowded." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a lot of room to be differentiated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is very hard now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Super hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not just because it s crowded." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because within that crowd, there are a lot of really good people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Incredibly good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for me, that s like, to use the casino analogy, I ve been playing single deck blackjack." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they re like, well, we re actually going to play with three decks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, ooh, that makes counting cards a lot harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they re like, you know what, Mr. Ferris, stay exactly where you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they move the tables." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now the roulette is in front of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to play this game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not from a purely competitive perspective, because you have to be careful about competition, I think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make you very unhappy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me to feel energy in, I want to feel like I am doing something that I am uniquely suited to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I d say that if I were going to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "be a productivity doctor and diagnose the most likely causes of that misery, would be the few things I just mentioned." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we re in a real, like, hustle culture of it all, to use the lifestyle hustle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I used that in the beginning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Bring it back to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, but, I mean, people, like, the hustle culture of it all, where it s, like, all about, like, looking productive, like, you know, that s what it s all about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it can get very dangerous, very unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m also curious, sort of speaking of social media, like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like one of my greatest challenges when it comes to focus is social media addiction because a lot of us now have to use social media in one way or another for our job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like whether you have a bakery or you are, you know, you re the bakery and you re like, whatever it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, if I didn t post on social media, I would delete the apps to not be addicted anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me push back on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might be helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I m so addicted to my phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s push back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have any social media apps on my phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not saying that is optimal if your goal is to grow your following because the platforms and the algorithms dictate what you will be rewarded for as an obedient little" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "little puppy begging at the heels of whatever platform you happen to be on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds a little harsh, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the rules of the games, how confident can you feel in your choice of game when the rules of the game constantly change?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No wonder you re stressed out, of course." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I would say though is" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making up this example, but like some of the top contemporary artists in the world, individual artists, they posting every day, I guess probably not a lot of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say you might be right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that seems like a hypothesis worth testing where you could say, OK, I m going to do two weeks, no social." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, to do that, though, you have to decide how you re going to evaluate whether" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you need to or don t need to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For that, you would need other metrics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this is where I think it gets challenging for folks if they, for instance, have sponsored posts on social and that is their metric, as an example, or in stories or whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then, yes, you are captive to the platform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have other products, if you have coffee," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can assess your progress, what you need to do or don t need to do, by something other than the metrics the platform gives you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is just a long way of saying, you can test it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can test all of these things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are not permanent decisions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll add one thing to that, which is sometimes the pain isn t acute enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I listened to your episode from 2021." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rock bottom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And but you said something which I ve thought a lot myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If something is just if something s mediocre or a little bit painful and you can tolerate it for a long time, that is oftentimes a more precarious situation than really acute" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "devastating pain because the latter forces you often to do something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you need to manufacture that though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for instance, right now you re like, I d love to, but I can t, I can t, I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, let s say you continue doing exactly what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does your life look like?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mental health, physical health, friendships, finances, this, this, this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look out three years, all right," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "five years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "10 years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But usually if someone is like, I don t know, I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like pebble in the shoe that right now is a little irritating, but on a hundred mile march, like you re going to tear your feet to pieces." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I do that type of telescoping out a lot where I m like, okay, if I continue to do this as I am," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the costs of inaction?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think often folks will look at, and this is a lot for our work week, honestly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like breaking down risk and thinking about risk differently." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, let s just say the risk of taking two weeks without doing any social posts yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we think about the risks of that action." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a new thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we don t compare it to something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when something is, we say, ah, it s risky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The follow-up we should always ask is, compared to what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Compared to what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in this case, the compared to what is doing the same thing for the next two, three, five years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you sit down and you evaluate that and you telescope out, sometimes you re like, oh shit, like doing no social for two weeks is extremely low risk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the potential payoff is so high." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why not?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "The past two weeks for some reason I ve been" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "horrific with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, it s been terrible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I feel terrible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, I do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m anxious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m, like, dissociated a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Weirdly, for some reason, when I m on social media too much, I have, like, negative existential crises, like, over and over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, it makes me weirdly existential in a bad way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are in no way evolved to" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "thrive in these secondary digital environments?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How long has it taken even a small percentage of the population to get accustomed to lactose?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, these tools are brand new." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you a quick anecdote, which is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I travel a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really enjoy traveling." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I spent some time in Ethiopia in the north, in the Tigray area." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was going from spot to spot, and I had this driver." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a group." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By and large, people seemed really happy in the rural areas." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we came across this one village where people seemed pretty surly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, that s weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he goes, oh, it s because they got satellite TV." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he goes, well, now they can watch the Kardashians and they can watch all these people with fancy cars and fancy lives." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now they ve concluded their lives suck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m paraphrasing, but that was the gist." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you take that and you basically put 5 million horsepower into it, you have social media." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think social media is all bad, but there s enough, it s very, in my experience, it s increasingly difficult, especially with the kind of TikTokification and competition that we ve seen across platforms." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to selectively engage with social media and just peel out the positive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is very hard because you re no longer limited to accounts that you follow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get served anything that will captivate your attention, which can then be monetized." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I feel like that switch is when it got harder to have boundaries with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I don t have TikTok, which is nice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I do kinda sometimes have a little FOMO." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Actually, I didn t for a long time, and then recently, I was like, this is such a, this is the platform, and I m not there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s not that I was like, oh, I miss watching it, but it was like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I want to be present there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I had this feeling that I hadn t had in a long time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was like, why am I feeling that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So that s something I m analyzing right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Why am I feeling that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where something like the five whys, it doesn t have to be exactly five, but it s just like sit down with a cup of coffee and journal and just..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, I m actually going to do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes 10 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing how much you can get out of like 10 to 15 minutes of structured journaling." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so fast." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like the five whys or morning pages." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a huge fan of morning pages by Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist s Way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just like, you wake up, three pages of writing out whatever s in your monkey mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bitch and moan, complain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not writing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to show anybody." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just like, get it out of your head so you can move on with your day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trap it on paper." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s the simplest thing ever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do you think about going cold turkey on something?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, for example, social media." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How do you decide whether cold turkey makes sense?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do cold turkey with stuff all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know, and you kind of have to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do moderation well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think, I shouldn t say that, it s not like I m abusing everything that I use or do, but keep it simple." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simple usually means, instead of titrating off of social media or saying, well, instead of using it for 30 minutes in the morning, I m going to use it for 10 minutes in the morning." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God s name makes you think that you could possibly do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so outgunned." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so outfunded." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so out-researched." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These platforms are not going to lose." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you re bringing a knife to a gunfight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be very challenging to make work, at the very least." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, do the easy thing first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the easy thing is cold turkey, in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do the simple thing first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s another exercise." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had a TED Talk a handful of years ago on this topic called fear setting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where you re just as you would with goals, to have a goal that you have some chance of accomplishing, you can do the same thing with your fears." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re like, I can t do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but no, if I do that, then I ll become irrelevant." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I do this, then people will forget about me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I do this, then if I don t do that, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to take those cloudy, nebulous fears and put them on paper in some structured way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and i ll just tell people how to do it go old school piece of paper pen and you re gonna have" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "three or four columns." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the first column is like all the things that could go wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the very top, it s like what you re considering doing or not doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stopping social media for two weeks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Write down all the things that could go wrong and get as specific as possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the second column, you write down what you could do to minimize, like to reduce the likelihood of each of those things happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then in the last column, you just write down what you could do to recover, even temporarily, if that thing happens." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like how could you reverse the damage or" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "minimize the damage." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s page one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Page two is the cost of inaction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I don t do this thing and I telescope out one, three, five years, what does my life look like?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re making explicit something that is implicit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That if you choose not to do this thing, you are making a choice in another direction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the costs associated and the risks associated with that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would say one time out of 10, you re like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is risky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I shouldn t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nine times out of 10, you re like, this is fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am risking like a three out of 10 temporary setback that I could reverse for like a nine out of 10 durable benefit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obvious, like the choice is obvious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What happens, though, when your intuition, or so you think, see, that s the thing about intuition is that you don t know what it is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s so hard to know when you get a feeling, is this intuition, is this anxiety, is this delusion?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, like, what is this?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How does one balance their intuition with being sort of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Analytical and rational in a way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you give any examples of where intuition has really served you point you in the right direction and maybe an example of where It didn t serve you right where maybe intuition because sometimes intuition is used as a guise Yeah for like justifying doing what you want to do or what is comfortable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See that s the truth, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s the truth because when I think about it anytime I ve used intuition and it s steered me in the wrong direction and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "friends, boyfriends, that s most of the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I knew deep down it wasn t my intuition, but I convinced myself that it was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Whereas like, I d say intuition serving me right has been" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "more career wise, you know, like being like, okay, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Working with this, with this company doesn t feel right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I don t know why because on paper it looks good, but to me it looks, it feels bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a great example." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so here are my thoughts because the intuition, especially we re sitting here in LA, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Intuition comes up a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, at every bar." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s Friday tonight, we re all going to hear it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, there s going to be a lot of intuition chat tonight." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a few things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say first, if you rely on what you would call" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "intuition a lot, practice using some frameworks, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is sort of just a meta comment, and then I ll come into the specifics." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If, on the other hand, you re very head-centric, as I have been for most of my life, I would say, then practice tuning into what you might call your intuition, like your body feel, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you re used to constantly thinking in terms of," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Frameworks, and pro and con, and this and that, and the other thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you feel, right, like with this company, with this person?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re on the phone, are you constricted?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you get off, are you drained?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you checking the time because you want to get off the call?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, pay attention to that stuff." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not as much the content." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because content doesn t matter if you feel like your system is giving you a yellow or a red." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I would say intuition to me is most interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it contradicts what you ve arrived at in your head." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when I pay attention, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m like, God, like all my, you know, these friends or these advisors that tell me to do this thing on paper, like, oh, this looks great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s part of me that s just like, uh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would wait." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mmm, that doesn t feel good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That should be, and I ve become, I think, very good at this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an automatic no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like there s something in this pre-language evolved sensing that is telling me, fuck no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I have overridden that," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never worked out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always some problem later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, damn it, I knew it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the worst." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we did this deal and you can t do a good deal with a bad person or an untrustworthy person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I find intuition most valuable when it is actually subverting what you think you want." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it s always such an unsettling feeling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, I had that about college for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was like, this is just not right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, this is not right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I can t do it right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I got so depressed because I was like, this is my dream is to go to a good college for, you know, what reason?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hadn t asked myself why, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then my body rejected it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I went into full depressive episode, and then I knew, like, this is just wrong." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Speaking of that, we are both depressive people, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How has that impacted... I don t know, everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I, like, you mentioned earlier that the more wise that you get, the easier it is to sort of..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "get through those moments and not fully crumble under them, but... Well, there s a bit more to that story." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, depression runs in my family, manic depression as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have the manic episodes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d say, historically, I ve had... It s really hard to pin down a number, but I would say... four to six extended depressive episodes a year, on average, since I was an adolescent." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Per year?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay, yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they could last" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anywhere from let s say two weeks to like two months, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There have been years when it s basically been mostly depressive episodes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since 2012, 2013, that frequency is probably down to like one every two years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re typically pretty short." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re typically one to two weeks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would attribute that to a few things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to really provide, I guess, a harrowing" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "example of how bad that can be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, in college, I had a date on the calendar to kill myself and came very, very close and through a host of very lucky coincidences, ended up getting snapped out of it because my mom called me because I had reserved this book at the library." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was taking a year off of school." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was related to suicide." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reminder on a postcard got sent home to my parents house." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I forgot to change the mailing address." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she got it, freaked out, called me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sort of snapped me out of my own self-imposed delusion in a way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you put on these very dark glasses when you re in those states." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where it seems very personal, you re the only person, you re uniquely flawed, nobody else has this problem." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And objectively, you realize, at least in my case, your life is pretty good, so I m fucked, because this is never going to get better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s permanent, therefore, X, which is often some type of final exit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if that had happened now, all digital notifications, I wouldn t be here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had it all planned out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had the whole thing figured out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that didn t happen, thankfully." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I would say some of the contributing elements that have helped are" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "different therapeutic modalities like for instance IFS, Internal Family Systems, created by a guy named Richard Schwartz." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What is that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Internal Family Systems is a therapy technique that as its basis uses a type of role-playing that allows you to interact with different parts of yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you might have defenders who are trying to protect you in certain ways by" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "provoking certain behaviors or beliefs." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they have names for these different parts of yourself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if people want to hear an example, I interviewed Dick Schwartz on the Tim Ferriss Show." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was a little hesitant to do this, so we agreed that I might not publish it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s a live session." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He takes me through it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a structured way of having you interact with these parts, have conversations with them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "identify when they came up, like how old are they?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What age are you when this kind of player entered the stage?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve seen tremendous effects from IFS by itself." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you can layer in other tools that are sometimes" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "very advantageous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the case of IFS, IFS has been adapted in part to a protocol used with MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So post-traumatic stress disorder, in this case, treatment-resistant post-traumatic stress disorder, where at least with the phase 2 trials, I think the average was something like 16.8 years or 17 years of diagnosis, which meant" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these patients had not found a solution to address their PTSD symptoms for an average of let s call it 17 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they do two or three sessions with MDMA-assisted psychotherapy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the IFS parts work, parts work is another term you ll sometimes hear and I think I m gonna get the numbers slightly wrong but they re not that much off it s something like 58% or 60% were asymptomatic or they no longer met the criteria for PTSD after two or three sessions plus integration work and prep" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the, I wanna say six or 12 month follow-up point, that number had gone up to something like 68%, which is very rare in psychiatry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So for me personally also, psychedelic assisted therapies have been a critical component." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not a panacea, there are risks, but I can honestly say that in combination with good therapists and supervision, that I think these things have," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not just saved my life, but allow me to..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "re-envision and re-author the beliefs that govern my life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a big deal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Certainly a big deal for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people are too cavalier with these compounds now, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t walk down the street in LA without somebody offering you a matcha latte with magic mushrooms in it or something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, seriously." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, oh, I m really healthy now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I no longer drink." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just use ketamine five nights a week." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, well, time out, time out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my god, that s everyone I m gonna see in like eight hours tonight." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah, it s Friday Yeah, so I I do think that people are taking these things in ways that are going to be very problematic later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah But in the right circumstances with the right supervision, I Think these tools are are incredibly powerful for" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look at, say, the research of someone like Ghoul Dolan, this incredible researcher who I think is currently at Hopkins." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And her belief is, and she s testing this as a hypothesis, of course, is that psychedelics, some psychedelics reopen critical windows where you can effectively, and these are my words, not hers." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "recontextualize experiences." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is certainly how a lot of subjects would explain the PTSD and MDMA, where they can revisit this traumatic experience, whether it s war, sexual abuse, whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and recontextualize it as an adult so that it in a way kind of overwrites the disabling stories." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s hard to measure, so a lot of scientists are looking for mechanistic ways to explain these changes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s very difficult to do." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The content, from my perspective, matters a lot, because you look at the durability." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For most psychiatric medications that may be used for, say, maintenance, suppression of symptoms, or addressing any number of things like depression, you take these drugs, and they re three to five times a week or every day." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you get off of them, you have to be very careful, because there are withdrawal symptoms, and there are lots of contraindications." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I should say these conventional frontline drugs are really critical and very effective" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a lot of people, but they also don t work for a lot of people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you, say, take someone through a trial where they have one or two high-dose psilocybin experiences for, say, treatment-resistant depression or major depressive disorder, and they report 12 months later that they have not had any return of symptoms," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t explain that by the presence of the drug because the drug, the half-life of psilocybin is so short." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Psilocybin being what is considered the active sort of constituent element in magic mushrooms, psilocybe mushrooms of different types." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I find so deeply interesting about psychedelics is that, and I m going to borrow from a very famous psychotherapist named Stanislav Grof, and I m paraphrasing here, but it s close enough, that what the telescope did for astronomy and what the microscope did for biology, psychedelics will do for the mind." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In terms of, I think, probably overturning or at least augmenting very long-standing beliefs about the brain and mind, many of the effects we re seeing are just so far outside of the normal purview of psychiatry" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that it s hard for me to offhand pick something I find more interesting." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because our conception, our beliefs and conception of reality are, if we re talking about base layers, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s layer one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everything else is built on that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you start to, if you can learn more about that, and if you can use these, not just to help individual people in clinical trials, but also to get a better understanding of how we create reality, because let s not be," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s not make any mistake, we are constantly creating reality as we go." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a book called The Case Against Reality by a scientist named Donald Hoffman, which I think makes this very compelling." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I were a mantis shrimp or a sparrow, this room would not look the same." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mm-hmm." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Clearly." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So as we learn more about the user interface as we experience it, I think we ll have some very, very compelling breakthroughs in terms of not just treating psychiatric conditions or what we might consider dysfunctions, but also to help with broader mental flourishing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that s what we re seeing with psychedelics right now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the long story long, I suppose." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To end it off, what s your piece of advice for the listener?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be something broad, it could be something niche, in random, you could go full indie with this piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, hit it however you want." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, the piece that comes to mind is not from me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually something I heard first from someone named B.J." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Miller." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Dr. B.J." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Miller is a" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a physician who has done a lot of work in hospice care." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s helped thousands of people to die, where he s shepherded them through that experience." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he also was the victim of a terrible accident when he was in college." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was electrocuted, lost three of his limbs, I want to say, and nonetheless has incredible sense of humor, very smart guy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I asked him what he would put on a billboard, metaphorically speaking, and his answer was, don t believe everything that you think." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s where he got that, and he said, I think it was a bumper sticker in Berkeley." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s okay." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so real." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s okay, but don t believe everything that you think." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of what we think has not been stress tested." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of what we think, the things we take to be our beliefs are not our beliefs." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re our parents beliefs or expectations or the product of difficult experiences or maybe fantastic experiences that have distorted things and those things have not been reexamined." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re just, it s a gold mine waiting for you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t believe everything that you think." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Such a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Likewise." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh boy, do I have a story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a story for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know what you re thinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, a scary story?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You must be running out of podcast topic ideas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A scary story?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are we in?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the third grade?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coming up with fake scary stories just to have something to talk about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to further back that up, I can almost promise you that I m not gonna have another scary story to tell you for a few years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because shit like this just doesn t happen to me very often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my day to day is very consistently not interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very rare that these types of things happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been very curious about how story time YouTubers, story time podcasters keep it going because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like crazy shit just doesn t happen every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t get used to this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like a rare treat for all of us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a rare treat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma has a crazy story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a rare treat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So without further ado, let me walk you through something that happened to me a few days ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was a casual Monday night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in bed at around 8 p.m., very early, already did my skincare, already brushed my teeth, already put on my PJs, fully in bed for the night, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not ready to go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too early." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I m not fully in bed for the night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At around 8.20 p.m." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get up to go pee and I go to reach for the toilet paper and I m reminded that I haven t had toilet paper in my bathroom for the last 24 hours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you might be wondering what I was doing instead." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was using a wet wipe, even when I was peeing, to wipe every time I went pee because I was too lazy to go get more toilet paper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sat on the toilet for a second and I was like, okay, I m either gonna go and get toilet paper now or I m gonna go do it tomorrow morning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a tough decision, but I ended up deciding to go downstairs and get the stupid toilet paper now, tonight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought of it as sort of a gift to myself the following day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what a joy it s gonna be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to wake up the next day and have fully stocked toilet paper in the bathroom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I finish up peeing and I walk down to my garage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where I keep the toilet paper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, fun fact about my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I open a door or a window, there s a chime sound, like a ding that goes off every time a door or window opens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is for security purposes, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a part of my security system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I open the door to the garage, it makes a little chime sound." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will be relevant in a moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Open the door to my garage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chime sound goes off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Walk into the garage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Grab the toilet paper." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Walk back to the garage door." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Open it again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chime sound." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Close it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start walking up the stairs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hear another chime sound." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I didn t open a door." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t open a window." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what the hell was that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, every once in a while, there s a little fault in my security system." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the sensors is too sensitive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so a chime will just go off on accident." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That happens every once in a while, but usually it happens as a result of something loud happening close to one of the sensors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I might slam a door on one side of the room and it makes a sensor on the other side of the room go off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the sensor also goes off if it thinks glass broke." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why that sometimes happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, OK, it might just be a fault." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This happens sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s no big deal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All my doors are locked, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s probably nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little freaked out though, like my gut starts to turn a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something feels off in me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And most of the time when there s a little fault with my security system, my gut tells me that it s nothing and it is nothing and then everything s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my intuition felt something was off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I walk upstairs and I sort of scan around my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pop my head into every door, just making sure that no doors are wide open or windows are wide open." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was sort of a ballsy move, but I was like, there s no way someone s in my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s no way someone s in my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I want to look just in case." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s one of those things where it s like, you re not going to go and look unless you don t think anyone s there, because if you really do think someone s there, then you re not going to look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to go hide." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, no, there s no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, rationally, I was like, there s just no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mind you, I m fully home alone, OK?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is just me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is no one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t see anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I proceeded to go to my primary bathroom, the bathroom in my room, and put my toilet paper away as though nothing was wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m putting the toilet paper away and all of a sudden my cat, Declan, sprints into my room and then into my bathroom, makes a complete ruckus, okay, is like slipping and sliding on the hardwood floor, like ran into the door a little bit of the bathroom, like freaking out and jumps up onto the countertop in my primary bathroom and pushes himself against the wall." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "frightened beyond belief, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His tail is puffed up triple the size." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His eyes, I ve never seen this look in his eyes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen him look scared before because sometimes there ll be like a bird outside or he ll be fighting with my other cat, Frankie, and he ll get all freaked out and his tail will get all puffed up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve never seen this look in his eyes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw terror in my cat s eyes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Terror." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I freaked the fuck out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I froze dead in my tracks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I stare at him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "frightened standing on my countertop for probably 30 seconds just trying to process what he could have seen because again I ve seen him freaked out before from mundane things this happens but something was different something was very different I ve never seen this look in his eyes but I was like you know what Emma you re" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re freaking yourself out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you have a tendency to catastrophize things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s probably nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He probably was just playing with the other cat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or he probably just saw a raccoon outside." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I walk out of my bathroom, and he follows me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he runs in front of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he starts peeking his head outside of my bedroom door, as though he was looking for something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, something s off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I see my other cat with the same look in her eyes, though her tail was tucked underneath her belly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, she was frightened too, but her body language was a little different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They both were so scared that I was like, there s no way something is not happening right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something really fucking weird is happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone s in my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I run to the safe room in my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I shut the door, I lock it, I deadbolt it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My cats are not with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did not have the time to secure them in there with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my safe room has security camera panels, a panic button, you know, you press it and the police come, all these other technical security related things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m still not fully convinced that there s someone in my house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know something s off, but I m like, how is this possible?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How is this possible?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All my doors are locked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t hear any forced entry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would have heard that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I call my mom and I m like, something s really off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, I explained to her the story and I m like, I don t know, am I being crazy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe you should," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "drive over because my mom lives about 15, 20 minutes away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, maybe you could drive over and just look around with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really feel good about being here alone, but I also don t think that there s anything dangerous going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re sort of deciding whether or not she should come over." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I decide to arm my house, which basically means if any door opens or window opens or breaks, a really loud alarm will go off and the police will be dispatched immediately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I arm this alarm all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is an alarm that I almost always have on and it doesn t go off from movement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can have that alarm on while I m home if I know that I m not going to be going in and out of the house because it doesn t go off from movement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like I can move around, my cats can move around, it won t go off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll only go off if a door or window opens or breaks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I turned the alarm on and my thought was, if there s someone in my house and they try to leave or they try to let someone else in, at least now I ll know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I set the alarm" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my head, I m like, there s no way this alarm is going to go off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have this alarm on for hours and hours a day and it never goes off on accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, if this alarm goes off, I know I need to call 911 and we really need to take this seriously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, there s no way the alarm is going to go off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just no way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, two minutes after I set the alarm, it goes off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "blaring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Beep, beep, blaring." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on the phone with my mom and I m like, someone s in my fucking house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, call 9-1-1." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hang up with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Call 9-1-1." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing all the shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I pressed the little button to dispatch police, but I couldn t tell if it was working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, is the battery dead?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hide behind the door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the door were to have opened to this panic room, I hid behind the door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I call 911 and I m on the phone with the operator and I m like, listen, I think someone s in my house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I explained the story and they were like, have you seen anyone?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I open up my security camera app." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have an app on my phone with all my security cameras on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I open up the app." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s disconnected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I check my cameras all day every day on my phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All day every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on that app constantly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot name a time in the last, I don t know, three to six months where it has been disconnected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always connected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now all of a sudden, it s disconnected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The crazy part about it is that the system" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that my security cameras are on are separate from the system that my security alarm is on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not like, oh, the alarm went off and it somehow made the cameras glitch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they re disconnected completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not related." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So me going on this app and seeing that all of a sudden my cameras are down, I m like, someone cut some wires or some shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s fucking happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something really bad is happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get hysterical, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh my fucking God, this is it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot express to you the terror that I was feeling in that moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have never, I m so grateful that I ve never felt that before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gone my whole life without feeling that level of terror." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of your life flashing before your eyes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in survival mode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I might die right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really might die right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was a new feeling for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had never felt this feeling before, this level of terror." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m locked in a room in my home, not sure what s happening outside of that room, certain that something bad is happening because the series of events paint a bleak picture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I become sort of hysterical on the phone with the 911 operator." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s reassuring me that police are on the way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a fucking wreck, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, should I break out of this window that s in this room and climb up onto the roof and, like, get into the chimney?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what should I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt so trapped and powerless in this room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the 911 operator was like, don t fucking move, you idiot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, didn t call me an idiot, but should have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was like, don t move." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stay still and be quiet and just let the police come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m crying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m full body shakes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like clutching my hand over my mouth, trying not to make sounds because I was so hysterical that I was like, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m texting my mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom s rushing to me, driving to me as fast as she possibly can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then all of a sudden, the alarm in my house goes off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now, if there is someone in my house, they think everything s fine because the alarm just went off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I go on my app in my phone to try to make the alarm go off again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, would you look at that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m on the phone with the 911 operator and I m like, my alarm is not going off again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need my alarm to go off again because it just stopped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And because, you know, the alarm is going to scare off anybody who s doing something bad, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to be like, oh shit, it s drawing attention." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to get out of here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m freaking out, trying to figure out if I can make the alarm go back on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This scares me even more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I realize that my phone is on 7%. 7%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, if this doesn t last me until the police get here, like, I don t know what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a phone charger in this room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I was so unprepared for a moment like this at the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ended up in the panic room waiting for the police for 20 minutes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of this is a blur for me because I was so deeply frightened that I couldn t even function properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasn t thinking straight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was completely in a fog, but also my brain was moving at a thousand miles per hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on the phone with the 911 operator asking every 30 seconds when the police are going to arrive, trying to figure out if I can reconnect my phone to my cameras so that I can see if anyone s in my house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing s working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck is going on?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, my phone is going down in percentage 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At this point, it s probably been 15 minutes of me hiding in this room and my phone s at 2%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I tell the 911 operator this, my phone s at 2%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He tells me that the police have arrived, but that they have to search the perimeter of my house before they go inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like, okay," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, you know, who knows how long it s going to take to search the perimeter of the house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, I want somebody to come in and grab me and save me now, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But knowing that the police were there made me feel so much better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, my mom shows up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s talking to the police." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My phone gets down to 1%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on the phone with the 911 operator and I m like, you need to send someone in here because my phone is at 1% and I will not be able to communicate with you or anyone moving forward once this dies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so we need to figure something out please i m crying i m so i m i m freaking i m sobbing at this point because i m like i m so close yet so far like i feel better knowing that they re here but also like come on like let s just" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Save me already, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to text my mom that my phone is dying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s at 1%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gonna die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I m about to send that, a text comes through from my mom that says, come to the front door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then, I kid you not, like a fucking movie, my phone dies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t make this up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you think I m lying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that you think I m lying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that this sounds like a fucking- it sounds crazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, this is what happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the truth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right as- so I couldn t ask my mom, what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I couldn t ask the 911 operator if I should go to the front door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like a crazy request." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think that there s an intruder in my home, and the police have yet to enter my home, and they re telling me to come down to the front door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, what s happening?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m convinced that someone bad has kidnapped my mom, taken her phone, and started texting me from her phone saying, come to the front door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, I m like, I know that my mom is with the police, but then I was like, what if somebody" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "snatched her, grabbed her phone, and is, like, holding her hostage in a car, and they re texting me from the phone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, there were so many different scenarios that could be unfolding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I didn t... Maybe she had never crossed paths with the police." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was really struggling with what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my gut told me that my mom was with the police, and that they had told her to tell me to come to the front door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I felt kind of stupid for doing it but I mustered up the courage I took a few deep breaths and I opened the door and I bolted I mean bolted to my front door swung it wide open there s my mom there s like 10 police officers" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just start sobbing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never felt the level of gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could like, I m like choked up right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never felt that level of gratitude in my life to just be safe and alive and to have the support from my mom and the police officers that, you know, got there as soon as they could." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was the level of gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like, I, again, I m choked up right now thinking about it because I was," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just so grateful that that was over and I m like hysterically crying and I ve always seen in movies people being so afraid that they re dry heaving like they re like about to throw up I always just thought it was like a fake thing like that was just something that happened in movies uh-uh I was fully" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dry heaving, crying, like about to throw up everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was one of the most bittersweet feelings I ve ever felt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, the police are searching my house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom and I are outside and I realized in this moment, whether someone s in my house or not, whether I was really at risk or not, those 17 minutes of me in that room thinking I was going to die has changed my life forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter what even comes of it because those 17 minutes in that room felt so real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will never be the same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lo and behold, the police come out and they say, there s no one here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no forced entry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Must ve just been a faulty alarm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I feel horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel stupid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel gullible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I apologize to them profusely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also can t blame myself for reacting the way that I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the whole series of events was so, so insanely unusual." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The odds of all of those things happening back to back, it s like one in a hundred thousand that all of those unusual things would happen back to back within a five to 10 minute period." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One faulty alarm and then both of my cats being really freaked out in a way I ve never seen them before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then another faulty alarm once I armed my house, like what are the odds of that happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That never happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And oh, oh God, and my camera s shutting off and like the alarm s not working." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what are the odds of all of those things happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never have issues with any of those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of a sudden they re all not working." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my rational mind, I said, there s no, it s more rational to think that something bad is happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We send the police on their way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel intense guilt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel so bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just wasted their time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel horrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m also like, I had no other option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So someone from my security team comes to my house that night trying to figure out what happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we look through the database to see what caused the faults, what made that chime go off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t figure out what happened after I shut the garage door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That first fault, we can t figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "nothing showed up in the database." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Normally every time a door or window opens, closes, breaks, et cetera, it shows up in this database." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That first one just didn t show up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The one that went off after I armed my house that caused the alarm to go off was a random window that never gets opened, literally has never been opened and just for some reason faulted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That window has never opened, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The little chime for that window has never had to go off and it never has because that window never gets opened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The security guy examines the alarm that s connected to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing seems wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing about it seems faulty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He does a bunch of tests to see if it goes off on accident easily because sometimes" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the little sensors on the alarms will shift a little bit, and then they go off easier, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, even if you tap the wall, it ll make the alarm go off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s all these different little technicalities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He basically tests this alarm in every possible way, and there s nothing wrong with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he s like, this is really weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s really weird that this alarm just went off out of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That these sensors had a mistake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is very unusual." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my mom and I are thinking about this for a while and we re like, what the fuck happened?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what in the world could this be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she says, Emma, I think it was the ghost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, now this is when you re going to think I m fucking with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you think I m fucking with you right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that you think I m fucking with you right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I don t know, what do people do when they run out of ideas for their podcast?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or for their YouTube channel or for whatever, they start coming up with stories about ghosts, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get that you think I m selling out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get that you think I m a liar and I m just doing this for clickbait." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it, but it s- I m not fucking with you!" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not fucking with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me explain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I first bought this house, it was kind of run down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was kind of old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of had a creepy vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was built in the fifties." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hadn t been renovated in a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I immediately felt its history in the walls." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this house feels old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t necessarily feel haunted to me, but upon falling in love with this house, I felt its history in the wall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I obviously tore this house apart and updated pretty much everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very different house now to what it was when I first bought it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of the things are the same, still the same flooring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The layout is pretty much the exact same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the wood is pretty much the same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like we tore the whole house down and rebuilt a brand new house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My interior designers got me a gift when we finished renovating the house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the gift was a session with this spiritual woman where she comes into the home and she sages it and she talks to ghosts and asks them to leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically getting rid of all of the bad energy and bad spirits, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I have an open mind, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t necessarily believe in ghosts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is my basement alarm going off?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did my security guard just get here?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I think it was just my security guard accidentally made the alarm go off, but that never happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little freaked out from the alarm going off in the middle of me talking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have PTSD now from that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a coincidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very neutral when it comes to ghosts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am very open-minded." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t strongly believe in them, but I also don t strongly not believe in them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought that this was a very generous gift, and I was open-minded about this person coming in and clearing all the bad energy from my house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I wasn t there the day that this woman came in and cleansed the energy of my home, but my mom was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She was at my house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she told me later that the woman who saged my house told her that I did, in fact, have a ghost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this ghost is a young boy, around 12 years old," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he s completely harmless, but he likes to play pranks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if things ever go missing or anything unexplainable that occurs, that feels like a prank could be this 12 year old boy ghost." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But she did say that she asked him to leave." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it shouldn t be a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if things like that ever start to happen, it s because it s him most likely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, we d only had one unusual occurrence prior to the saging, which was we had this ladder go missing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we had this huge ladder and it went missing and we couldn t explain it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how do you lose a ladder?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then again, you know, the way that we rationalized it was there were a lot of people working on construction at the house." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody might ve taken the ladder on accident and taken it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "back to the I don t know like we were like there are so many different construction teams here somebody must have taken this ladder on accident whatever and that could still be the case but I remember my mom was like oh my god that might be where the ladder went who knows" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fast forward to a few months ago, maybe four months ago, my mom was in my garage doing something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know what she was doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she misplaced her glasses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she knew for a fact that she was wearing her glasses when she was in the garage, but she either put them down somewhere or they fell off her head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She couldn t remember, but she knew that she was wearing her glasses in the garage because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "she used them to read a label or something in my garage like she used them at some point in my garage and then at some point while she was in the garage they go missing she s like this is so weird like where could they be like did I did I bring them upstairs into the house like could they be in the kitchen or on Emma s desk like where are they" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She tells me about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, Emma, I lost my glasses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot find them anywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally can t find them anywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes no sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was only in these few areas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know where they could have gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like they just poof, disappeared." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, all right, I ll keep an eye out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll let you know if I find them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look around, I don t see them anywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then during the weeks to follow, my mom and I are like constantly looking for these glasses." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like, how did they go missing like this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like where in the world could they have gone?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We searched the whole house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We didn t just stick to the garage and the kitchen where she was that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start looking everywhere, and we cannot find these glasses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then one day, randomly, probably a month after they d gotten lost, my mom and I are talking in my closet room, and we were talking about these glasses and how it was crazy that they went missing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in this closet room, there s like sliding closet doors that open up to a small closet that hold my hoodies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And while I m talking to my mom about how her glasses went missing, I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am kind of cold." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to open this closet and grab a hoodie and put it on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I opened the sliding door to this closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I reach up to grab a hoodie and I pull it down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in this closet, there are shelves below the hoodies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s like a shelf separating the top level from the bottom level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I look down and there are my mom s glasses folded up perfectly, just sitting right there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I turn around and I say, look, and my mom looks and we start crying our eyes out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start bawling our eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How did they get in here?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally, I was like, is there any way?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like screaming at her." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, is there any way that you were in this closet?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, no, there s no way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if I was, the glasses would have never been put down right there so perfectly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, wait, but I ve gone into this closet at least a few times since this whole thing, and I never saw them here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How is this possible?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s like, I never went into this closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re crying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we start screaming at the ghost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you the one who pranked us?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We seemed like we were really going through it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if somebody were to be a fly on the wall to see this whole spectacle, we were hysterical because we were like, this is so weird that the glasses are right here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we were talking about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they showed up right there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, the ghost heard us and put them right there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we were like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it was just, it s like, what, how did that even happen?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s not like that s where I store my glasses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even store glasses there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like I would have accidentally taken her glasses thinking that they were mine and put them in that closet because that s where my glasses belong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a closet I use for hoodies, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Glasses have never gone in that closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes no sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could not figure out how the glasses got in there, and it did not make sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It also didn t make sense that I hadn t seen them any sooner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I don t grab a hoodie every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And especially not that time of year, too, because this sort of happened during the summer months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we just we could not explain it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We simply could not explain it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it made us feel" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we were losing our minds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We couldn t figure out how this was possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But ever since then, my mom and I believe that this 12 year old prankster ghost lives in my house." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sort of explains why my cat got so scared and why the alarm decided to go off two minutes after I armed the house out of nowhere in a way that is unexplainable to my highly trained security team." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I have a ghost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It actually doesn t bother me, which I know sounds wild, but it really doesn t bother me as I spoke to this ghost and I don t know how to speak to ghosts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I don t even know if I believe in them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know what, I don t know what s real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what s not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I m open-minded, so I don t think it s dumb to try to speak to a ghost, because none of us know if ghosts are real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not one of us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not scientists, not anyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know what we don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, ghosts could be real, and so I tried to talk to the ghost, and I said, listen, you can live here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can live here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can even play little pranks on me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing with my mom s glasses, that was fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was innocent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just don t make me think that I m going to die." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was too serious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re real and you re here, you can live here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can hang out with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But just don t do that shit again because you took it too far, buddy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally was alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in my house like talking to this ghost like dude cut it out all right simmer we re gonna have to take this down to a better level because where you re at right now uh-uh you re getting too brave with it you re getting a little bit too brave with it i m not gonna kick you out you know what you live here too maybe you lived here when you were before you died i don t know this can be your house too but you just need to respect me and my and my well-being because that was too far" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "listen maybe it was just a crazy coincidence maybe uh this just i don t know like maybe this was just a rare series of events that s possible too i m open to that but whatever it was it definitely changed my perspective on things forever because even though i was totally safe the whole time without even realizing it i was so sure that something bad was happening that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it almost feels in a weird way like something bad did happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though nothing bad happened." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so fucking lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even express to you my gratitude that nothing serious happened and that this was all just a weird fluke or maybe it was a ghost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in a weird way, my body still feels like it happened." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I ve sort of been struggling with, like ever since." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sort of traumatized by it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes sense because the level of fear and terror that I felt for those 17 minutes was so real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my body went through a process as though it was happening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s been really fascinating to observe within myself how even though it didn t end up being a threat to me at all, my wellbeing at all, everything was fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My body is processing it as though it did happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been having horrible anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m tense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have a bunch of like back pain and neck pain because I ve been so tense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my mental state has been really bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve been very sensitive and irritable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what is a positive takeaway is number one, updated security measures." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have no idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That experience was like, okay, no, we re taking this more seriously now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But number two, this new level of gratitude for being alive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve never experienced the reality of, oh my God, every day could be your last until that moment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though again, it wasn t real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt that so deeply and so vividly that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I just have a new level of gratitude for being alive and I m much more aware of how fragile life is and in a lot of ways that makes me uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives me a sense of existential dread, but on the other hand, it makes me feel more inspired to protect my life and every life around me because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a second everything can change and I m so lucky that I had just a false alarm And that wasn t even real and it was just my little ghost friend, but my god did it leave me with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Profound realizations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean the realizations that I just shared now are just scratching the surface." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it permanently changed my brain and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually very grateful for this experience because I feel like my brain expanded from the experience without even experiencing the trauma that comes from something like that to the fullest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I almost feel guilty about that in a way where I m like, okay, I had this profound experience through this, but I was safe the whole time, even though I didn t know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it made me empathize with those who have experienced anything similar." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, a moment where your life is at risk like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, I had never experienced that feeling before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I could empathize with people, but not all the way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I, I have a whole new level of empathy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for all of you who have experienced that feeling and for people who experienced that feeling and they were right in something bad was happening and maybe something bad did happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is, this whole thing has really, really moved me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just so grateful that I m okay and that everything s fine and that, oh, but I just, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we could have anything we want in this world, I would wish that feeling upon no one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one, not even my worst fucking enemies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is one of the worst feelings in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh God, okay, I m done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So moral of the story is I think I have a ghost in my house, but maybe I m being dramatic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m reading into things too much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m creating a narrative around coincidences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think I have a ghost?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think this is just a weird string of coincidences?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let me know on the Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you or just order online, straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Boom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coffee, matcha, cute little accessories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all happening on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video episodes exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Audio can be streamed wherever you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for hanging out with me and listening to the story." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might think that I m a little bit loopy for this one, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m being pretty rational." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You down or no?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, listen, you can come and hang out anytime." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just know that you re always welcome here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re always welcome here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll talk to you very, very soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "goodbye from me and my little 12 year old ghost." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go play Monopoly with him or something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I m going to go play Monopoly with him or something." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,841
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, I present to you Jared Ellner, my stylist, my closest confidant, my soulmate, my fashion soulmate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes my boyfriend, but that s weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, today I m going to be talking fashion with the only person I want to talk about fashion with, Jared, my stylist, my fashion soulmate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been very into fashion myself, and I truly do believe that my relationship with Jared has allowed me to explore fashion with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "less of someone who s telling me what to do and rather a partner in crime." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, somebody who also has a fashion mind, who is excited about putting together looks, you know, coming up with new things, experimenting for various events and even day-to-day life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are true collaborators and together" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We put together outfits, and that s really all it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait for you to hang out with Jared, because my God, I love hanging out with Jared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do it all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s bestie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now you get to have a little piece of Jared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had to drag him on here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So enjoy Jared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t take it for granted, because he is a rare fruit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you a stylish kid?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, my first instinct is to scream no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really wasn t a stylish kid, I was just obsessed with fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, deep cut, like, fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, I was a pretty... I grew up in, like, a repressed town, so I was, like, not that stylish." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, your style was, like, fitting in with the kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Describe an outfit for Jared in high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s kind of similar to what I wear now, because I just wear a t-shirt and pants." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it was a bad t-shirt and ill-fitting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a worse t-shirt and a worse pair of pants." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There wasn t much going on, which is embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s one of my favorite things about you, though, is that before we started working together, I was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stylists must have the best personal style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It must be so insane and dynamic and crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it must be present there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was so fascinating to me about you is that your personal style is understated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like you re" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, wearing like an Alexander McQueen gown to like your birthday party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re wearing like Carhartt s t-shirt, but like with a chic little boot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, so to me, it s so fascinating that your interest in fashion seems to be outside of yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like you re obsessed with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what you put on you, you re obsessed with the art of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Elaborate on that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just didn t think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I didn t think about what I was wearing too hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I m like, I mean, growing up, happy and, like, fit in, great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it progressed and, like, hopefully it got cuter and just, like, simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I ve never been a person who, like, stares in the mirror and is like, okay, how does this fit?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what does this look like?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what do I have to do to look like this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m obsessed with, like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "how other people look and how to like turn someone else into something and I think that s hopefully translated to my style where like it improved and now I do think about it but it was never about like oh my god I have to be a stylist because I love sneakers or something you know what I mean like and I have 500 sneakers I have two sneakers you know what I mean that s the vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so like you re weirdly a minimalist with your own closet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I go into your closet, which I do, I m like looking around and- There s nothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s simple." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s effective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I feel like you have your uniform so that you can focus on putting other people into their little costume." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is not a personal inward art form for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very outward." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel like it s all about putting things out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, honestly, it s like each time somebody gets dressed, it s like a little art project." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m doing little dioramas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what it feels like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re doing a little diorama on me, and then I m in leather underwear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And somehow it s a really slutty diorama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s so crazy, but it s totally hot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And effective at the party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And inappropriate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And super inappropriate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was controversial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Was it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People were like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who s this fucking freak?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they were like, she s kind of cool, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait a second." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re taking their pants off?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re talking about when you wore Acne Studios underwear, leather, and a jacket." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And nothing else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And nothing else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, we ll get into that later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll talk about all of our looks later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of the fun risks we ve taken, because we got riskier later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you went to fashion school in New York City." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Parsons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went to Parsons, but I went for design." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not dream of being a stylist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think there was one time that I was growing up that I dreamt of being a stylist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanted to be a designer, like always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then after college, I just started working at a magazine, and then you quite literally turned me into a stylist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would not have been a stylist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something else would have happened, but you were like, wait, I need a stylist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, I ll do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never thought about it, but I went to school for fashion, which is also like, the fashion kids are less like, what s my vibe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they show up in like something blank and they re like, what s your vibe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what s so interesting about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is that for me, fashion is so personal for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do love fashion objectively." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do enjoy looking at it and analyzing it and thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s like, I think I only do because I like fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "using it as a form of personal expression." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s kind of what sets apart, I m realizing, like a true fashion head who s like, I wanna work in this shit in the sense that I m designing, I m a stylist, I m, I mean, this is not true across the board, but I m noticing it more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, now I m thinking about it more, and it just depends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You disagree." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m like, now I m thinking about it, and there are definitely some stylists who it s very personal for them, too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they want to be dressed up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a mix." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a mix." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some people need to live in the fantasy of it, too, along with the people that they re dressing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think I m just starting to have more fun with that, but I never got into this to be involved at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want to be behind the scenes and do the cute things and make it all happen and then disappear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think the people who are excited by being in the spotlight too, it s a different story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a different vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared needs to be in the spotlight and isn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Isn t it always this way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those who really deserve to be in the spotlight because they re so special, they just want to be hidden." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want to go to bed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to go to bed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to make Jared go out with me on the weekends and he s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sending my boyfriend Owen with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d do it for you more than anybody in my entire life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you kidding me, Jared?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so brave with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every three asks, two of them are no s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But for anyone else, it s just a blanket no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, but that s why I love our relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We push each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like we re perfect for each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re soulmates." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We are soulmates." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you went to fashion school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were like, I want to be a designer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you are a designer and you design clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how to design clothes and you design clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re working on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are a phenomenal designer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve worn your clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You actually have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stop lying to the public." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was a scary moment for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that was one of like our first five fittings, maybe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we were just doing like cute stuff to dress up in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I put you in it and you re like, this is so" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I didn t say anything until after you d worn it or something, because I don t want to influence you and be like, I made this, but I did make that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s deeply personal to create something, and then it s even scarier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, in retrospect, I m scared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine you had showed it to me and been like, what do you think of this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d said, ooh, Jared, that s hideous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you made it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s fair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need feedback." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, that s happened, not with you, with other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll tell you about it later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m already thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m curious about your education." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s one thing that you learned from going to fashion school that you feel like is invaluable, if anything?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s one thing that you wish you had learned and you didn t?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something that I learned that was invaluable?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Knowing how clothes are made." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and like how to fit them is like..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how you do this without it, because there are so many times where, one, we re rolling up to the red carpet and the dress falls apart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh-oh, we have to sew it back together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have to tell that story later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horrifying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happened to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was terrifying in the moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was terrifying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There were bigger issues, but that was horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But knowing how to repair something, knowing how to make something fit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Clothes are not meant to fit everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re meant to fit one person, so you have to really mold it and shape it and make it look like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "flawless and that takes like knowing where to pull that tucks that in that like cinches hair like remember the dress you are for business of fashion like that s a contraption something like knowing how to turn that into something that actually fits is like yes" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how I would do this without that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how people do it without knowing how to make or adjust clothes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doesn t fit then we re not wearing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like No, a lot of times we re taking these pieces that are like, you know Okay, there s one size and it s basically like can we make this work?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and it is a huge huge huge piece of everything that we do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like trying to figure out how can we make this look right because I Mean, especially when we re working with pieces from the runway and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like it s a nightmare Yeah" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, you know, but I never even thought about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the technical side of the structure of a garment, that is huge and invaluable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s so many instances where it s just you and I in a dressing room somewhere or like somewhere random or in a remote part of I don t even know where, where it s just like me, you and some safety pins." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, if I didn t feel confident in my ability to," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "alter things, I would be like, okay, well, you re going to look horrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s nothing we can do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, there s going to be something weird and baggy in the garage." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It looks amazing, but it s just one giant lump on the back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s huge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s something I m really" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "happy that I learned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something that I wish we had spent more time on, I don t really know how to describe this, but I wish there was more emphasis on how you put an outfit together and genuinely what you are so good at doing and why you are so good at" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "fashion, you can put pieces together and you know what that style evokes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, this is going to be really steamy in a second." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are brilliant for that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve learned so much from you because that s not how I look at fashion and you look at fashion in a way that s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so personal and you can figure out how to turn random pieces into like a style or a vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if I had known or thought about fashion like that, I think I would be better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like if I had started there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you start working at a magazine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re doing editorial styling for the magazine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I started as an assistant, but yeah, eventually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you did that for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, tell the story of how we met." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was working at a magazine called Garage Magazine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so lucky to work there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a magazine of six people, and I was the assistant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I worked there for years with the fucking sickest team, and I learned so much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was insane." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then by the end, like year three and a half, I started styling my own shoots and working less as an assistant and more as an editor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they wanted to do a TikTok shoot, because TikTok was it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So ironic now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The most ironic thing possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They were like, okay, let s do a TikTok shoot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do we do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I forget how, but I remember being like, we should use Emma Chamberlain for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were like, okay, that s never going to happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, yeah, I know, but this is, we re spitballing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is brainstorming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then shockingly, I guess you were down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were like, okay, she s doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, oh shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were like, you re going to style it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, okay, I m going to jump off a bridge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it was actually great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had so much fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was a fun shoot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so it was basically we shot for like, what, seven hours?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt like for one TikTok." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it had crazy transitions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is when no one knew what TikTok was, what the point of it was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I remember doing the story and being like, this is going to be so out of touch in three weeks, but we still did it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was great, but also it was in the era where TikTok was just dance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a song and it was a dance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was nothing else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a lip sync." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe, I don t even know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t even know if lip syncing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe not even a lip sync, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know if they ve heard of it yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it was basically you doing one TikTok switching outfits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The entire time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I have like a lot of criticism for that shoot, because like it was the first thing I ever did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would change a lot, but- I have such a fondness for the way that you styled that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, okay, it was campy to the max." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, I don t think that that TikTok would have" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "been interesting had the styling been maybe more cool or maybe more like it kind of had to be campy and crazy and fun and you put me in this like insane dress that had the crazy the big it was so loud and so crazy and it was so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what made the TikTok." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had like pink eyeshadow on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like, also the hairstylist taped my face back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remember?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You looked amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I looked so good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Holy fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You looked so good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I ve gotten my face taped for a shoot after that point, it s been like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Damn, I can t ever go back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Damn, this shit feels good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s really nice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, it hurts so bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s horrible, but the result is a relief." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For those of you who don t know what getting your face taped means, you put two little, there s two sticky pads that go on your temples, and then there s little hooks on them, and then there s an elastic that you put around your head, and it" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just lifts the whole fucking thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It lifts your face as though you have a snatched ponytail, and your face just looks... It s completely toxic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s horribly toxic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like horribly... It s ruining our world industry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like... When we all say social media is fake, it s like, yeah, yeah, the girls faces are taped." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so let s go back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were... Sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we... That was me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, Jared, you re on thin ice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so we re... You re putting me in these crazy outfits for this TikTok shoot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, at the time, didn t have a stylist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, for me, was almost anti the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was like, I... You are style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You became who you are in part for your style and how good you are at doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s like such a crazy thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because that s like, how does one even do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do think that that s why I was so against it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was like, I m going to lose my edge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not gonna be me anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I was always so against the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is very valid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the only time I would work with a stylist was at a photo shoot when it was like editorial and it was like, okay, I m being put in like a crazy outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is so fun, but also for my day to day or like for, you know, even for an event, I used to style myself and I would" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really do bad to that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t believe that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, my first event outfit ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was insane." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, we ve never looked at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What was it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m thinking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a pair of super high-waisted gray plaid pants that were tapered though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s where they got bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then we had" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A Gucci boot, lace up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little heel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, it gets worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a white bodysuit on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This whole event that I went to, not only was my worst outfit, but also it was that embarrassing speech I did at the Streamy Awards." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I won an award and I went up on stage and I bombed the speech and I still get made fun of about it to this day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fair enough, you guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You need to be character building humbled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t, this is something we actually discussed, you can t be hot all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you shouldn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not right for the fabric of society, like it s not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cannot, and anyone who is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to bomb." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is a bad person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bad, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stay away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sinister." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sinister, if you can t find a skeleton in the closet, like an embarrassing skeleton in the closet of a human being." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something s wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no, huge red flag, abort mission." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like get out, because it s not gonna be good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, that was really bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s tough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like my personal style, I did not want to be threatened, but I was like, and I just was scared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, if I hire a stylist, you know, what s going to happen to my own personal identity?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was also at the time like working with stylists only for photo shoots." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s how I met Jared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole styling world" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like what a stylist was, I always thought of it as, this is so business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so for press, for magazines, for this, for that, for the red carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the time, I was rarely doing those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was like, I don t know, it was just interesting because I met you in a context where I was like, this is so fun to work with somebody on this and I love this, but also," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where does this fit into my life?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, but then I was like No, something clicked for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I need a stylist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you became a busy girl Well, it was also it was like a combination of like, oh, I m starting to go to more events I m starting to have more photo shoots for for things but also like it d be so fun to have just like a partner in crime on this you can like who has the resources to to go out and and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this is huge, basically rent things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lend things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s just unsustainable to be always buying new things and then now you own them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes no sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas Jared and I are technically renting things all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I wear it and then we give it back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, anywho, so I was like, I need a stylist and Jared was the only option." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s interesting that if you don t want to have a stylist because you don t want to lose your identity, but when you start doing so much that you need to be in clothes so much, if you work with a bunch of random people, then you actually don t have any identity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s like..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s really helpful to have somebody to grow with so that you can start to feel like one brain and that you don t have to explain anything and they know about your weird stomach issues and if what s gonna work with that or not and also what vibe you are in in your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No body suits Jared, Emma might have diarrhea at the function." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No thongs because, I can t actually say this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No thongs because Emma will shit herself and it will be everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think what happened was, my publicist Kate was like, you need a stylist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t handle dressing yourself for events, dressing yourself for photo shoots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "dressing yourself or even just pulling pieces for day-to-day life, you just don t have time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she was like, you really need to consider a stylist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was so against it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then she was like, what about Jared?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that is perfect because I could tell that you were never going to make it your agenda." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I could tell immediately that fashion for you, there s not ego in it for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you, it s art for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was so clear to me on that day that the second she said it, I was like, that makes complete sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is exactly," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, very, very quickly, I feel like our relationship just became what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would say it s very unusual." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you agree?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t stop smiling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was the sweetest time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was so, I was so scared during that time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like falling in love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was actually falling in love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I hope you weren t nervous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was so nervous during that time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was nervous too because it s like, this is like, weirdly an intimate thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Inside you like I m like taking your pants off and like putting on like g-string like it s so intimate I mean like at the Met one year like he s Cutting my underwear like he s like up my inside inside with scissors cutting this seam around my underwear because you could see it through Through my skirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is an incredibly intimate relationship on an emotional level and on" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On a physical level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So intimate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s insane." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think when we first started working together, we did Chamberlain Coffee shoot and I put you in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t know that your mom was going to be at this shoot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "no one told me and for whatever reason I thought it was appropriate to put you in a gorgeous but like such a slutty outfit for the first outfit we ve ever done like officially together oh my god it was stunning it was this beaded miniskirt and top but it was so short and the top was so tiny and my nipple was kind of poking through the bead just a little bit and we were like oh but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you were in the highest heels." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, all the Chamberlain coffee shoots before that, tan, demure, it s holiday, full skank." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so fun, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then your mom literally walked out from the back room and my heart sank." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, it s over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but now you know that, like, no one s a bigger fan of Jared than my mom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She loved it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one s a bigger fan of, well, maybe me, but also you looking hot and slutty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom loves it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s obsessed with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom does, like, yeah, she does love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She loves it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because she s like, Emma, like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you not tapping into this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re young." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s correct." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Enjoy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But not all moms are like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I did get a little nervous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then you found out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then I found out and I was like, okay, we should go shorter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like when are we going shorter?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then fast forward to now I wear underwear on the red carpet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so silly fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s super happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s super happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s really proud of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s kind of like what I ve turned into." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, describe our relationship in your words." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In my words?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ll describe our relationship in my words." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll fill in the gaps." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Truthfully, I really do feel like you re my fashion sister soulmate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are very few people who" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe not agree, because we mostly agree, but who understand what I want to articulate, or I want you to articulate, or what I m envisioning or imagining, you, I think, can understand what I m going for." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Very easily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of people, it takes a lot of work and a lot of proving and a lot of trust and a lot of successes to be like, okay, I trust you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think you really get it and also are excited by the same things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel deeply connected to you in a disgusting way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s very embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fashion and then it s also, because the thing is, Jared and I, if we were not doing fashion, would still be best friends anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would hope so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared, you re my best friend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I literally, I m like, I don t have anyone else, Jared." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I know, we need each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re my best friend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then with Owen, the three of us, it s like..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, this is, this is life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is, it s, I don t know if this is the right description, but I will never, ever, ever be more grateful for a relationship, probably ever in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe my family, maybe, maybe Owen, but like you- Maybe Owen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, Owen, but also maybe not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Owen is literally- Honestly, maybe not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Owen s in the group chat right now, like Jared, what the fuck was that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He heard it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He heard it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, he heard it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He probably did hear it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But genuinely, because nobody else, one, still allows me to do what I want to do in a way that you allow me to, but also, it s really a lot of trust and power to put in someone s hands, and to feel confident enough to choose a random," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know how old was I at the time, 23, 23-year-old, to be like, okay, you, is crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You fully changed my life and I will never get over it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We literally have to talk about something so- So superficial." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So inappropriate and superficial after this or else I m going to start crying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because Jared, I mean, you to me are" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "complete fashion soulmate and it s there s not only do we see eye to eye but we also disagree." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve gotten good at disagreeing lately." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing, Jared." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would argue creative relationships are fucking pointless if it just becomes an echo chamber." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you agree about everything, no one gets challenged." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one learns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so healthy to disagree." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think that s why we create so many looks that we re proud of together because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We fight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, no, no, not that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hair needs to be up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared, hair needs to be down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We do get in a lot of glam-specific fights." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, this is for red carpet events." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re always... Jared s like..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, you re wearing, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ponytail down to the ass for today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s gonna have to be ponytail down to the ass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared, can we just do a natural, let s just do a natural super scruffy, looks like I didn t brush my hair for four days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, ponytail down to your ankles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There was a period where that was the fight, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for six months, I feel like there was a certain length of your hair where you re like, scruffy, obviously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, it can t be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we kept getting into fights." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a few memories of some good fights." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But also, just," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "before I forget the opposite I feel like happens to where either someone gets dressed by a stylist and they take all of their opinions completely or they need to dictate the show and they have to like do what they want" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to do and they are unable to actually tap into a stylist s ideas because they re either too insecure or they need to stick to what they ve done or they re controlling, like whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s also something too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s both ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Both people have to be equally open." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently did some self-reflecting, because I was like, my style really is all over the place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We go to one event, and I look like this pretty little princess, and then we go to another event, and I m wearing the leather underwear, and then I m going to another event, and I m a little schoolgirl, preppy vibe, and then I m playing tennis, and then I look like an alien." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always wondered, what is the through line?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there a through line?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does there need to be a through line?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As long as it feels authentic, then it s on the same path." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have so many different facets that all of that s authentic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think you re so comfortable with so many parts of yourself that you re like... There s a lot of parts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a lot of parts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a lot of looks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of looks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s just different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s the most fun part." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also I think, more recently for sure," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you slash we have gotten more experimental because you re even more comfortable and we re even more comfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also it s a sense of like, who gives a fuck?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like we ve gotten to a point where it s like, if we feel like it s good, even if it doesn t translate 1 million percent, like we know what we did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and we fucking like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s something interesting I ve noticed about the fashion world from the perspective of people in fashion and from the perspective of people outside of fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just noticed that the fashion world, in all the various eyes on it, take it way too fucking seriously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody, a celebrity, wears a look on the carpet and the masses don t like it," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s headline news." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s headline news." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually really insane how fashion has that effect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your thoughts on that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just a waste of time to like be that critical about something that s so surface level." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then again, I also am obsessed with it and that s what I spend my whole life doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I find it fascinating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I kind of bounce back and forth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think fashion is as equally" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "dumb and a waste of time and overhyped as I am deathly obsessed with it and will never stop thinking about it and spend every second of my day working on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So like, I m not a good barometer for this because I can t make up my mind about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I ve noticed is people who aren t necessarily in the fashion world, they don t really care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not their sport, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really judgmental of fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people who are not in fashion think fashion is stupid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually really fascinating because I always did too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, this runway show is stupid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, really?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a show on YouTube or something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like there was all this stuff coming out and there was like whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember thinking, I don t get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who is this for?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is what purpose is this serving?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did not understand what it was." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I thought it was dumb." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why I was critical of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always hypercritical of fashion because I think I didn t understand it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, I think in a weird way, I was threatened by not understanding it, which made me resent it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s how a lot of people probably feel because it s so, at times, over the top that it s like, how could I even engage with this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, I can t engage with this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, I m kind of pissed about this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is dumb." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like that s probably the trajectory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, it s not wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fashion is the most pretentious space, unnecessarily." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You find the people with the worst morals and who care about the worst things and are so judgmental, and not even the people, but the ideals that it projects, there s so much toxicity in it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think if you re not someone who s gonna ever directly benefit from the part, are you good?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so good, keep going." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "From the parts that like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are great about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re never going to wear something for a photo shoot or, I don t know, not even that, but just dress up for the sake of dressing up, most people don t either have time to do that or have the freedom to explore that or express that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re never actually gonna benefit from fashion, it s pretty useless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fashion can be horrible and what it promotes is pretty horrible a lot of the times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re actively working to change that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "maybe we can make it about the art again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, cause I think that s what, that s what it should be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that I m thinking about it, I m realizing like both of us genuinely care about fashion because it to us is like, this is art to us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that that is true for the rest of the industry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, fashion is like, for whatever reason, however this happened over history, so deeply tied to power." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s just fucked a lot of shit up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And like, I think also part of the allure and fun of the fashion industry is like, the like, sexy, am I gonna make it in?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are people gonna respect me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, this is so tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, I did it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s just like the devil wears Prada." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It totally, like, that movie, I think is," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all anyone needs to know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a stylist, how do you manage to figure out how to create a look that will translate to the world?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is that process like?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then also, where s your head at when you re sending off your person, your client, and they re about to go get a bunch of photos taken and there s now nothing you can do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about all this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Literally terrifying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sending someone out and having no control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to have thought through every possible thing that could go wrong or look wrong or be weird or not make sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So scary." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And who knows?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a gust of wind when the photo s taken." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh-oh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her boobies out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Her boobs out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Literally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I had a boobie out yet?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I ve ever told this sort of story." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t think I ve ever talked about this publicly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I go to events, when I do red carpets, when I go to the fashion shows, I m also a mess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As you should be, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, it doesn t matter how good I feel in person, it doesn t matter how confident I feel in person, if the lighting s off, if the photographers aren t good, if, I don t know, there s a weird shadow somewhere, I mean, Jared, you know, it s ruined my day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which one are you referring to?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not always the outfit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s sometimes even just like the glam, like how the makeup looks, how the hair looks in person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Venice day one red dress." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which was crazy because I thought you looked amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looked so good on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or no, it looked so good on iPhone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was whatever, but my face just looked weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You look so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I understand it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes you just can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes it just doesn t work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but it s like, sometimes it comes down to bad lighting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s certain red carpets that always have good lighting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like... Vanity Fair." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s Vanity Fair Oscar party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the Met Gala." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s... You don t like the Met lighting?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Usually it s great, but Vanity Fair is like... Vanity Fair is the best." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, what else is good?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You haven t gone, but the Academy Gala is so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The lighting is really good there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, but these are the things that we think about because, you know, it s genuinely so frightening to, and it shouldn t be, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, in an ideal world, it s like, we don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you know, you don t look at a photo and ever think you look bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In an ideal world, I m so sorry, that is not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an impossible place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not impossible, I m not gonna say that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is such a challenging place to get to that majority of us are not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "going into a red carpet, like, yo, fuck it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I look like shit, I look like shit, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but also there s so much effort put into those moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be happy with what it looks like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you style a look that you think will translate well" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it ends up on the internet instead of it just being in person because what have you found is the most effective is it like taking photos of it with your iPhone and seeing if it translates like sometimes in a 2d form it s like definitely okay that s like step one yeah it has to look good in iphone pics it has to look good in a shitty quality photo like it it just has to that s if it doesn t pass that test it s not being worn done" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Lighting is a lot of it, so also imagining like every type of lighting it could be in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s basically just like a huge checklist of like, okay, well this won t look good because of this, or this won t look good because it s not, even though in person it s snatched, if you look at it from a weird angle, it s not, like there s so many things that are so specific to each look that I don t know if there s a way to categorize it all at once, but it s a lot of like canceling out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s basically finding something that hits all the criteria, which is super challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even still, it s like, eh, let s hit it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, why don t we tell them some of our horror stories?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t you tell the story about the lawn comb event at the Louvre." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Red dress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happened, Jared?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You tell it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a beautiful dress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a vintage red dress that we learned was very delicate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a lot of times you can t cut things because it s vintage or it s a runway sample or whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have to find a way to tailor it without cutting it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "challenging and this specific dress was too long so we had to figure out a way to make it shorter but it was so thin that it wasn t an easy dress to make shorter so a special like hand sewn alteration that didn t cut anything had to be done and it was like kind of a big train so it was all the way around so that happened you tried it on you did glam" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you were doing photos beforehand, and I looked over and you were like, uh-oh, and the whole thing had come undone, the whole hand-sewn hem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That probably took like, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That probably took hours for our sweet tailor to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this is just what happens, like you, no shade to the tailor, like that just happens when you re working with- Well, because my shoe got caught on it and ripped the thin thread, and it s just like, that s all that-" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re doing the best we can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you got in the car." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Luckily it was kind of a long drive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Long drive." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe 20, 30 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s nice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was a bumpy ride and I just had to sit on the floor and re-hand sew the whole thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Finally done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re so happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more challenging to understand." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I quite literally didn t know how Jared was sewing this in a certain way to accomplish what he wanted to accomplish." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was very confusing, too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had our flashlights shining on him, and he s like, the fucking car is coming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared s sewing my skirt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was insane." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was horrible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was horrible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then five minutes, no, I would say three minutes before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no, I d say two." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As we were pulling up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As you were pulling up, we looked down, the center seam of your dress popped." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, out of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This was our worst luck yet." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, the security of the event was trying to open the front door and Jared s like, shut the fucking door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, Jared, baby, that was so weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, shut the fucking door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, this is not that big of a deal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it actually was because my entire cooter was out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quite literally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like split down the fucking center." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck happened?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It actually wasn t that big." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was probably like what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but it was, like, very vaginal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a slit, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, like, that was a hole for your vagina." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Anyway, so we had to close that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, we actually should have left it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You could have had a lot of fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had to close that, and that was really stressful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was, like, kind of stressed before that, but then when we were, like, there, and they were, like... Yeah, but thank God you had thread from the bottom." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, thank God you brought your sewing kit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because imagine, like, you hadn t..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "needed it so desperately, you could ve forgotten it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will never, I don t think I have it on me now, but I will never go anywhere without a sewing kit now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ever again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s impossible not to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that was a horrible one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was a really bad experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it turned out great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It turned out totally great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That same week, remember, one of our favorite looks that we ever did, which was that, you know, it was the Armani privé dress." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the, you know, it was black." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was completely beaded all over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It had sort of an argyle." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A thousand pounds." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was about to say, this is where the catastrophe strikes for this one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looked fucking amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where was the catastrophe?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was fully intact." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "90 pounds, Jared." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe this is my story to tell." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared, okay, so this dress is unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks so good, but there s a few challenging elements to it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, it was very much like a spaghetti strap sort of dress situation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The boobs were almost out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had to tailor it so much to keep the boob in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The entire night, my boob was almost out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was fun for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh my God, Jared, I m about to absolutely have a boob fall out in front of Anna Wintour." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in heels, though." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, this dress was 90 pounds." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So heavy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only is it 90 pounds," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "90 pounds on a spaghetti strap." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s just digging into my fucking shoulders." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we had to put concealer on my neck because my neck was like chafing and bloody because it was like, it was like so heavy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only that, but I had bleached eyebrows." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was actually the good part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was the best part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was an amazing part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I love that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We should do that again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then whenever I would take my makeup off," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like being in the hotel lobby, like after, everybody s like, oh my god, because I don t wear makeup that much and off-duty, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Off-duty no eyebrow is like, whoa, like what is wrong?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks like full, like..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my god, that s a lot of tequila for her." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes the dark circles come out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes the lips look extra pale." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It literally looks like she ate recalled cantaloupe from the grocery store." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s only eating spoiled fish." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She is severe food poisoning." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very Voldemort." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s super Voldemort." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes it s hot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I totally think it s hot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes it s not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "True." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you will be doing bleached eyebrows." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, you sold me because the thing about bleached eyebrows is that it gives more room for the eyeshadow look." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s literally the only reason." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s sick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so sick." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can bring the shadow all the way up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, I don t know, I feel like people are more intimidated by me with the bleach brow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, oh, she s totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s super scary because it s like, holy shit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s wrong?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is she gonna stab me?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is she gonna hug me?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do I wanna fuck her?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do I wanna be her?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is this?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or should I just run away?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, everybody runs away." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, can I ask you a question?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s your favorite look?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That we ve ever done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have one that immediately comes to mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the Margella look." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, yeah, that s a very solid one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why I love that so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To paint a picture for you all, it was this white bodysuit with fishnet tights over it, white heels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "With a sock." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With a sock, which I always loved the sock." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ooh, I loved my second Met look though too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the switch doing the blue gown." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re third." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Third." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve just gone too many times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My eighth Met look is my favorite." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, it s coming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s coming, coming soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I loved the blue and then I loved the black." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved that we had two looks for the Met." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One for the carpet, one for the interviews." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I be honest about that one though?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That one is one of the looks where I feel like we both, but I especially learned" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "what works and what doesn t because that look in person was so good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t translate as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t translate as well as it should have, which is, it s still, I thought you looked amazing, but in person and in videos specifically, you were a princess." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The vibe of the look" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really did change on the red carpet and it did not, like that look for something more editorial, it would have had this different vibe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was still like, no regrets." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I loved it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The two, but that was also your genius idea." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, they came, Miu Miu gave us two of the same things, which was so nice, and you were like, we can t not use these." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s what it was." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we had two versions of the same." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not sustainable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, they made two colors of the gown, one in black, one in pale blue, because they were like, we don t know what color you re gonna like better, but I was having a really hard time deciding which color I liked better, and I did decide, I was like, let s use both, let s use both, because I really don t wanna waste" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t wanna waste one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it just would be such a shame." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That was great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really loved the second look because it was like so fun to be at the Met but in this like casual ass outfit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was wearing, it was like I was wearing a loafer heel." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like a quarter length skirt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was very you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was like still very, it still felt elevated enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean it was definitely more approachable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was fun to," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "go casual mode, because years in the past it was like, oh my God, I m still wearing this very, very over the top, complicated gown while I m doing these interviews." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it was nice to... Me, I haven t breathed in two hours just thinking about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Two years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two years, actually." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been two years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finally exhaling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just like... Yeah, but that s valid stress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live for it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I actually do live for it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to being involved in fashion, I think it s crucial to appreciate it for what it is, appreciate the art that it is, while also understanding that it s a novelty." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fashion has a cultural impact that is significant, like deeply significant?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And do you think it impacts society or do you think that it doesn t and that s okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it has quite literally everything to do with what s happening in society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, but what do you think comes first?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fashion imitates life and society and the world and culture?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you think culture follows fashion?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, honestly, like, fashion has so much to do with how people are represented in society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s just so many examples of fashion that have shaken culture." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Miniskirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No longer wearing corsets." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, number one, my personal favorite, miniskirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared loves..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, if you are what you love putting on your clients, you re a miniskirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A miniskirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, I have a miniskirt for you to try after this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I ll explain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m coming over." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love a miniskirt." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, miniskirts, crazy revolutionary." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That changed society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women in the 19th century, 18th century were wearing, you were in full corsets and bloomers and gowns and ruffles." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were covered." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in a way that s shocking if you actually think about it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To be in a t-shirt, even pants, is revolutionary." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Women were not allowed to wear pants at a certain point." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I will say it is so influential, because our little sliver of time and what we currently wear is so different than even 50 years ago, which is so different than 50 years before that, and is so different than what it will be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in 10, 20, 30, 40 years." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think fashion has a deep connection to freedom and what is acceptable and what s allowed and rules and restrictions." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there s a lot of politics and culture." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "deeply embedded in fashion." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious about where you see yourself next fashion-wise." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because there are a couple eras that I remember you being like, this is the next phase." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you wanted to start doing minimalism, which was like maybe a year ago?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe a little longer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were like, trust me, it s minimalism." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then we just started doing that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was a thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At least for us." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Currently, super grunge, super goth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, oh my God, it s so funny, Jared." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, me?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like, remember when I, okay, so I wore that black dress." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To the CFDA Awards, and it was this corseted black strapless dress, and I did a little Vogue interview on Instagram where I was like, I don t know, I ve just been in a more grungier phase, and all the comments were like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not, that is not grunge, you fucking liar." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, they were right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, people, people, people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s grunge to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, this is so polished and so proper, but it s a little bit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was a little messy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a little teeny kiss of like a darker, grungier feeling to it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s dark." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I think grungy wasn t the right word." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you re feeling dark." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Holy shit did the fashion kids get mad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, you got slapped in the face, but it s fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But by the way, humble me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, teach me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Teach me, love me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Touch me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, okay, to answer your question, what my next phase is, because by the way, we would need to have this conversation anyway." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re just doing work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, we re working right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, we re on the clock." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a fucking meeting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we re on the clock." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in a really weird phase right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few things happening in my head." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Talk to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, number one, it s definitely vampire core for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Explain but like not full vampire, but like I don t know, you know, I ve been loving like it s it s black white gray Yeah, it s silver jewelry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you know, super like Suiting like silhouettes like yeah, you know like a little vest a little, you know My favorite black bag is like sort of almost a briefcase briefcase esque it s like wearing like a deep lip liner not covering my under-eye bags and" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a little Wednesday out of the- Straight black hair, like my hair is really dark right now, it s like straight hair." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you know, square toe loafer, it s like a trench coat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m there, but like weirdly something clicked a few weeks ago and I was like, no, I want to be a Parisian artist stereotype." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is- I m kind of tapping into it right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going to say that s this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fully, like beret." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love a beret right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll get over it in about two days." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Are you actually?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was just looking at a beret the other day and thinking, how horrible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No Jared, can I, can I?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll show you, I ll show you the one and you re gonna understand." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay yeah, because well berets have to be very simple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it also can t be like too like, oh this is a beret." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you wear" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in my opinion, if you wear a beret properly." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How would you wear a beret?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like sitting like nicely, like kind of back on the head." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s more like just this little thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t read as like French painter Halloween costume." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just reads as like this cute sort of more floppy thing that s happening." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a pic of me in a beret that like fucking hits." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it has to be done right because you can t" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t fuck with a beret." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "primary colors." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like classic Kelly Green, the most classic red you ve ever seen, the most classic like denim blue." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a perfect mustard yellow, like French s yellow mustard yellow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like that s the palette." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like French artist vibe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s another thing that s happening in my brain right now that I m loving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, what do you want to see me wear next?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you want my next era to be, fashion-wise?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your next era, fashion-wise?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I love the dark." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it would be fun to merge that and feminine a little bit because when you went to Gaultier, the all pink outfit, that mixed with" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tom Brown or Acne, those looks that we did." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Some merge between those two I would be obsessed with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Something that s like a little more feminine and fragile but like still really like dark." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would love that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also a very challenging balance and I tend to lean more" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m always like, I am going full tuxedo right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely do tend to lean more towards masculine silhouettes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that s my comfort zone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think it s like comfort zone, but for a reason." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It works really well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does work for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It works for my personality, but also more than anything, it s more comfortable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like at an event, I m like, I feel the rush because I m like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I m like, I don t have these tiny little spaghetti straps digging into my neck and my boobs aren t out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also like, that s a fucking vibe too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I like that too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a mood board that I ll show you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s gonna be gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the best thing I ve ever seen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jared, that one was so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I haven t seen it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really like this high, high, high fashion editorial vibe for you that we ve been exploring more, but I think it would be fun to sort of merge a couple vibes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s not like this time we re going goth and this time we re going..." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it maybe speaks to like your previous conversation about through lines and like maybe figuring out a way to make it feel like one girl, even if it s just for like... I love this." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m getting what you re saying." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not making much sense, and it s not really that clear." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but I get it, where it s like, okay, we re not so on the nose with a theme." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like, oh, we re going full vampire mode today, or like, oh, we re going full just freakazoid alien today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re actually making something new." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like, alien went to the supermarket, but whoa, why are her boobs out?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, whoa, is that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s so preppy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, she s so preppy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hold on a minute, is that my mother?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is what I want." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like something almost like giving a new feeling that still makes sense." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an interesting challenge that I would love to do with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And specifically I am really excited about like Princess Ian Goth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re so far apart." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "what we re seeing for the future." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, okay, so I m basically a French artist." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m Picasso." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m only wearing archived Picasso s clothes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found them ultimately in the museum and I ultimately stole them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m wearing them to Vanity Fair Oscar party." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m super drunk in the clothes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s a big problem." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so we have a lot of different vibes to achieve." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but that s also what makes it fun." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because also, who knows what else is going to pop up in our brains on a random Tuesday in April." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And there s a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s so much fricking time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to think if we have any other fun stories we leave them off with." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There has to be one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s our final- There has to be one fun story." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We haven t said anything." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You cut my underwear out at the Met." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a good one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You sewed my dress." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We actually, no, we re done." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cool." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll let it be." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I have a lot of shit I have to tell you in the car, like I have life updates." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s totally true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m actually sick of recording this because a lot of shit s going on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, let s go." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, yeah, let s leave." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you, Jared." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for coming on my show." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love you so much." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for having me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re my soulmate." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re mine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, this is getting weird." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,842
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to start today out with a little story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A few weeks ago, I was talking to a loved one, and this particular loved one makes music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were talking about how easy it is to make ambient music, music that s just pretty much sounds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No singing, just sounds, but cool sounds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh my God, I wish I knew how to make ambient music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t play instruments and it takes a long time to learn how to play instruments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I at least knew how to make ambient music because number 1, I like listening to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 2, it would be so cool to put ambient music in my YouTube videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh my God, it d be so fun to make a YouTube video and then make my own music for the video." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, that would be so cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, but there s just no way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s no way I would figure it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the person I was talking to was like, Emma, it s so easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can learn how to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, no, no, I don t think I can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were like, why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were like, I literally Googled it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then focused on it for like 48 hours and then I knew how to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were like, I taught myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can just teach yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can totally do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, no, but I can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, yes, you can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this back and forth for a few minutes, and then I realized, I stopped in my tracks and I realized, I have a problem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a mental block." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some reason, I don t believe that I can teach myself something successfully, especially something that doesn t come naturally to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been naturally good at playing instruments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that s not necessarily true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have good natural rhythm, which is very helpful when it comes to playing instruments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what I don t have is the patience that it takes to learn how to play an instrument." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve never stuck to it and I ve always quit early on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I don t feel like I m musically inclined." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I m not confident in my ability to teach myself how to do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had this sort of epiphany." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I have all of these poisonous thoughts floating around my head about why I can t teach myself how to make ambient music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t even think that these beliefs are true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I realized that that was a limiting belief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I ve heard about limiting beliefs a lot, and I ve explored the topic a little bit, but I ve never really dug into it up until now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s a fascinating and important topic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what we re going to dig into today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start out with what limiting beliefs are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not gonna lie, my definitions are not super reputable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I found the best definitions on websites that are not like scientific journals, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I thought that these definitions were good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So just take all this with a grain of salt, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not pulling these from the top psychologists in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as much as I wish I was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked these definitions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were easy to understand and they feel true to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, take it with a grain of salt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got these definitions from betterup.com and pushfar.com, both self-help websites." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A limiting belief is a thought or state of mind that you think is the absolute truth and stops you from doing certain things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These beliefs don t always have to be about yourself either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They could be about how the world works, ideas, and how you interact with people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Limiting beliefs can change your life, but not always for the better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you like how I m reading this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it entertaining?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They create self-awareness that stops you from chasing after your dreams, forming healthy relationships with people, and creating change in any area of your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having primarily negative beliefs puts boundaries and limitations on things in our lives and keeps us within our comfort zones." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Limiting beliefs, in most cases, are unconscious thoughts, which appear as defense mechanisms to avoid possible frustrations, failure, and disappointment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At a time in the past, you may have suffered from something specific, and now when you come face-to-face with a similar situation, your subconscious finds a way to try to block it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Limiting beliefs keep us in our comfort zone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can greatly limit development and achievement in our goals, both personally and professionally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is these thoughts, whether conscious or unconscious, that we regard as absolute truths." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, these negative thoughts, which hinder our journey towards life goals, can be overcome and replaced with more optimistic messages." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By changing your thinking, you can change everything too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much to betterup.com and pushfar.com for these incredible explanations about what limiting beliefs are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Explained it better than I ever could have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I became hyper aware that I have this limiting belief about my ability to teach myself how to make ambient music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this sort of realization caused me to realize how many limiting beliefs I do have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s not the only one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me walk you through some of my limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the one that we ve already discussed, the fact that I don t believe that I can teach myself things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is hypocritical, because I always preach that we can teach ourselves anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many resources out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can Google shit, you can go to the library, even though no one does that anymore, and you can read a book about it," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t want to go to the library, open up your iPad, download a book onto your iPad, ask someone in your life who knows how to do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we have endless resources, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can teach ourselves anything we want to teach ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the resources are there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m all about spreading that message because I believe that it s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yet, I didn t realize until recently that I had a limiting belief about my own personal ability to teach myself things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe that the rest of the world can teach themselves things, but for some reason, I don t believe I can teach myself things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been subconsciously telling myself that it s too hard for me because I m not smart enough and I m not capable enough to figure it out and that it s too hard to find adequate resources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, you know, how do I know that my resources are good?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do I know that I m learning something the right way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s too hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I subconsciously tell myself that I don t have enough discipline and motivation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not a focused enough person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, I m lazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I convince myself that I m lazy because a lot of times with my free time, I tend to relax." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I m not working, I m relaxing most of the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve convinced myself that that s lazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just think I m lazy in general." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And lazy people can t teach themselves how to do new things, now can they?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve subconsciously told myself that I don t have enough time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only that, but it s not worth my time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This sounds so dark, but if it s not work and it s challenging, it s not worth my time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve subconsciously convinced myself that there s no use in challenging myself outside of my work life, because what s the point?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "paying the bills, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so dark." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s crazy to me how different that perspective is from the message that I spread to the rest of the world, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a weird moment to have when you realize that your beliefs about the world are different than your own beliefs about yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I was digging into all my limiting beliefs, I noticed that that was a recurring theme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I believe that the world and the people in the world have endless opportunities and anything is possible and dreams can come true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for some reason, I don t believe that about myself because I have so many limiting beliefs about myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example of a limiting belief that I have is that I ll never be enough for a man." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it s so sad, but I definitely have that belief subconsciously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, it s hypocritical because I will tell everyone, I ll scream it from the rooftops." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many fish in the fucking sea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will find someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s someone out there for everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I genuinely believe that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "except for for myself for some reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To sort of dissect this limiting belief, like why do I think that I ll never be enough for a man?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I have the limiting belief that there s always someone out there who s better than me, prettier than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, cooler than me, of course." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also have the limiting belief that I m not attractive enough, feminine enough to be satisfactory for a guy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "subconsciously, that guys only like me when they want something from me, like they can gain something from me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I know that that s not true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in my conscious mind, I know that that s not true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that I can absolutely be enough for a man." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that in my conscious mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that it doesn t matter that there are always going to be" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, girls out there who are better than me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that I m attractive enough and feminine enough for a man to like me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that there are guys out there who like me for me and don t want to gain anything from me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But alas, I have those limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so even though in my conscious mind, I know the truth, those subconscious voices are still there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so confusing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also have this about rejection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have the limiting belief that I can t handle rejection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I shouldn t try anything that will lead me to being rejected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is especially prominent in romantic situations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely avoid being emotionally vulnerable at times out of fear of being rejected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I might want to be sappy and sweet, but I ll never be the first one to do it because I have the limiting belief that if I get rejected, I won t be able to handle it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll destroy me or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Upon reflection, I avoid trying new work endeavors sometimes that I m not 3,000% certain that I m good at because I believe I will be rejected and I believe that I won t be able to handle that rejection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When in reality, I know I m capable of handling rejection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m certain I m capable of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been rejected before, and yeah, it sucked, but it s always ended up being worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never regretted an action that led me to being rejected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always taught me something, or it s always allowed me to speak my truth in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been rejected by guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been rejected in the workplace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always handled it just fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know I can handle it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know why I avoid putting myself in situations where I ll be rejected because I know I can fucking handle it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s this subconscious limiting belief that prevents me from doing these things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I m a hypocrite because I will scream from the rooftops once again that it s so worth it to put yourself in positions where you could be rejected because that means that you re being yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it means that you re doing your best and it means that you re..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing what you want to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always better to try and get rejected than to not try at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that, but it s these limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last example, I have the limiting belief that I m not working hard enough unless I m overwhelmed and stressed out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I have convinced myself subconsciously that the sign of good work ethic is misery, is pain, is agony, is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "exhaustion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some reason, I believe that having a healthy work-life balance is lazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, again, again, you re probably thinking to yourself, like, Emma, this is insane." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are all things that you ve openly said." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s so crazy how my beliefs towards the world and other people in the world are so different than my beliefs towards myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I treat myself so differently than I treat the rest of the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The advice that I give the rest of the world is not always aligned with the standard that I uphold for myself, the advice that I give myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m far more toxic with myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because of these limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those are just a few examples of my limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely have more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m already thinking of more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I have tried to quit nicotine in the past, I ve been filled with limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve told myself, it s going to be too hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to be able to mentally handle it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve told myself, I don t have to quit because it s not showing any negative signs yet that I m addicted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve told myself that it s fine because I don t consume nicotine in the form of cigarettes and cigarettes are much more unhealthy than a vape or, you know, like, do you get what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that to say, I m very hyper aware of my limiting beliefs right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s very clear to all of us, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very clear to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma is hyper aware of these." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m kind of at a loss about how to get rid of them, because I m aware that they re there now, and I also know that they re not true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, as I ve mentioned this whole time, I give advice to my friends, my family, to you listening to this podcast, that contradicts all of my limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean that advice when I say it to my core, but yet these limiting beliefs are still present and they still impact me and I ve not been able to fully shake them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when I reflect on my past before I was super conscious of these beliefs, I have many memories of me combating these limiting beliefs without even realizing that I was doing it, but it wasn t clear to me like it is now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I want to get rid of them altogether, but I don t know how." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want to know what I did?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking Googled it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I Googled it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so let s go through the internet s advice, specifically betterup.com and pushfar.com." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go through the internet s advice for me on how I should get rid of my limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe these will be helpful for you too, because I don t think there s a human on this planet who doesn t have limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So first, it s important to learn where the beliefs came from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could have come from your family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up, your parents and other family members impact the way that you see the world before you even are conscious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, these are the first people that you encounter in the world." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re very susceptible to the people around us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re very malleable, especially when we re young." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our core beliefs start with our family, whether our family intentionally pushes those beliefs on us or not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could be life experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Any experience that we have in life gives us a distinct feeling that we remember." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And vivid experiences cause us to come to conclusions about the way that life works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that impacts what we do in the future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we have a good experience doing something, then we ll do it again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we have a bad experience doing something, we won t do that again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, sometimes, I mean, it s not like that always, but you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could be education." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it s someone s job to share information with you and beliefs with you," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you naturally are inclined to absorb them because there are certain people in our lives, teachers, mentors, doctors, etc, etc." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re sort of trained to trust these types of people and so when they tell us something, we take it as fact a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like, especially when we re young, we look to these authority figures like God, in a way, and everything that they say is Bible, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Society can also impose standards that generate limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Religion can sometimes spread limiting beliefs because there s always a set of rules with religion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is good, this is bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes those things are obvious, like, yeah, don t go and kill someone, obviously that s bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes they re a little bit more opinion-based, and that s where it gets a little bit tricky." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so the first step, apparently, is to figure out where the limiting belief came from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you need to go in to your brain and identify your limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I already did that with at least a good chunk of my limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The internet recommends that you reflect on your behavior, figure out when this belief formed and why, then write everything down on paper." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easier to organize your thoughts when they re outside of your messy brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like trying to organize things like this just in your head is so, it s so challenging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just messy, at least for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then make a list of your challenges." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Write down your challenges and look for any patterns." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will show where your specific problem areas are and can help you sort of connect the dots and figure out, okay, what are my limiting beliefs?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where are they showing up in my life?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Et cetera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, it s time to eradicate the limiting belief." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get that shit out of your head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is where it really gets interesting because I feel like I personally have done the first two" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I ve yet to fully get rid of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this is where I m getting excited." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa, I m on the edge of my freaking seat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How am I going to get these out of my stupid little head?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start out by realizing and recognizing that your belief may simply be a belief founded on falsities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s likely to be completely untrue and just a belief, not a fact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so huge, actually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds simple, but it s such an important reminder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think now that I m aware of my limiting beliefs, every time one comes up, I can tell myself, hey, this is not a belief rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a belief rooted in a mini little trauma or a dumb idea that you picked up a long time ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that will help me, but we ll see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll have to give you guys an update later after I implement these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another helpful step would be to recognize that it s just a belief, not a fact, and then to question it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say you have the limiting belief that you re lazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Question that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be like, what does lazy mean to me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to be lazy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s define that in our heads." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then look at your life and be like, am I really lazy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that actually true?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might find that it is true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you can be like, okay, well, why am I lazy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going down a rabbit hole of asking why and why and why and why." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next step is to determine the consequences of holding on to a limiting belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think making yourself aware of how something is hurting you can weirdly motivate you more to get it under control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not aware vividly of how it s harming you, then you might just let it stick around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re so aware of how damaging it is, you re more likely to put a plan together to really make it stop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, choose something new to believe in, something that will improve your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve had a certain belief for a long time, there s a chance that you have a strong emotional bond to the belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if it s negative, you can still have a strong connection to that belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We build a foundation of beliefs that we stand on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you have a limiting belief that s a huge chunk of your foundation, taking that out makes you feel uneasy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess what this piece of advice is saying is it s helpful to find a new belief to replace the old one with so that you don t have this gaping gap in your foundation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is really helpful, to not only just get rid of the old belief, but to also replace it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That makes a lot of sense to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you don t have anything to replace it with, then you re so much more likely to just go back to that limiting belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you believe, I m unlovable, and then you change that belief to, I m very lovable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of an obvious example, but now every time you say to yourself, I m unlovable," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You immediately are like, no, actually that s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am and I know that because that s my new belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas if you just decide, I don t believe that I m unlovable anymore, but you don t have this new belief to cling on to, then you re left with this empty hole." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The unlovable example was actually horrible and awful and I regret it because it s such a simple example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you either are lovable or you re not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can t go back in time, can I?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And give another example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So... I m just gonna hope that you re patient with me today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get what I m saying, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next piece of advice is to take action and start implementing things that support your new belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If your limiting belief told you that you were too old to start a new hobby, instead adopt the belief that it s never too late to start." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then spend 15 minutes that day working on that new hobby." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think taking action is so crucial." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can start to prove yourself wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can show yourself through action that your limiting beliefs were wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that helps you to solidify your new belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re just trying to convince yourself in your imagination, it s much harder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times, our limiting beliefs come from life experience, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things that we ve been told by people that we respect, good or bad experiences that we ve had, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, we learned our limiting beliefs through vivid life experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to teach ourselves new beliefs also through vivid life experiences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To get there, we have to put ourselves out of our comfort zone a little bit, but if we can do that, then it s good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, conditioning yourself to your new beliefs means creating the reality you want for yourself in your mind, visualizing the results that you want to achieve." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Visualization is a great way to create anticipation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will mentally experience the result you want to achieve." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With this, you ll be sending congruent signals to your brain, making it work for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a really abstract piece of advice from the internet, but I m going to try to analyze it anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like what it s trying to say is when you visualize the life that you want to have, you ll attract the life that you want to have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you visualize a life without limiting beliefs and you can figure out what that looks like, like, oh, if I got rid of all my limiting beliefs, this is what my life would look like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then it s much easier to work towards that because you have a clear vision of what your life would be like without those limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only will that motivate you to get rid of the beliefs, but it also gives you a clear thing to work towards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s hard to sort of work towards an abyss." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to try this shit and I ll let you know how it goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that you care, but I thought that it might be fun for me to go through my limiting beliefs and figure out how I m going to eradicate them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought maybe you d want to sit here with me and listen to me figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So with my limiting belief about my inability to teach myself things, I think what I need to do is I need to go and teach myself something successfully." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to make time to teach myself how to make that stupid ambient music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to go and learn how to make that stupid ambient music, and I need to prove to myself that I can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then once I teach myself how to do that, I need to continue to prove to myself that I can teach myself things, especially things that I don t believe I m naturally good at." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because that s a limiting belief within itself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m not naturally good at that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s, like, we say that type of shit when it s not even true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the limiting belief that I will never be enough for a man, I need to replace the thought that there will always be someone out there who s better than me with there s no one else out there like me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s only one me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s only one Emma, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, no, there s actually a lot of people named Emma." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Excuse me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of people named Emma." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually a very popular name, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no one else out there like me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s one of me, and that s special." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to replace the belief that I m not attractive enough, I m not feminine enough, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, with, again, I m exactly who I am, and that s special, and that s exciting to some." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to replace the belief that people only like me to gain something from me with, there are a lot of people out there that just like me for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know those people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve met those people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They exist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a romantic and non-romantic setting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I also been in a romantic situation where somebody wanted to use me for their gain?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure, sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve also experienced romantic situations where that wasn t the case." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I know it s possible, but for whatever reason, my brain has chosen the limiting belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I need to remind myself that that s not always the case, and I know that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to rejection, I need to replace my fear of being rejected with the belief that I ll never regret speaking my mind, doing my best, and being myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m scared of being vulnerable in a romantic situation because I think I ll be rejected, I need to tell myself, yeah, I might be rejected, but you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s okay, because at least I said what I wanted to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m anxious about trying a new work endeavor because I think I m gonna be rejected, so what if I get rejected?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I won t know if I don t try." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I m replacing my limiting belief that I m only working hard if I m overwhelmed and stressed out with working hard does not have to be a horrible thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can work hard and have a healthy work-life balance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I m replacing that with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can work hard and still have a healthy work-life balance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we ll see how it goes then." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see how it goes then." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was really unsettling for me to become hyper aware of all these beliefs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was hard for me to admit to myself because I didn t want to believe that the advice that I give to the world could be so different to the beliefs that I hold so close to my own heart." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that are negative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was unsettling to see the difference between the way that I see the world and the way that I see myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is how my limiting beliefs present themselves, but everybody s different because some people have more limiting beliefs about the world or about how life works." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mine are very self-centered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to limiting beliefs, I m a narcissist, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one else exists, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited to see how eradicating these beliefs impacts my life, and maybe at some point I will update you on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode, and if you did, tune in Thursdays and Sundays." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video episodes are exclusive on Spotify, but you can stream anywhere you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow anythinggoes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go on chamberlaincoffee.com and go on the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we re not, or if you just don t want to go to the store," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Order a Chamberlain coffee online." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have matcha." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute mason jars." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute straws." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute cups." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have cute tote bags." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have it all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have it all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always my pleasure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love getting to chat with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love getting to hang out with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you do too, then I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t, then I won t talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that all goes well for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I love you all and appreciate you all and I will talk to you so, so soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye for now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today I have a real, real treat for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mommy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, she s my mommy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s not really my mother, she s my mommy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My mom and I have a very special relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In my older age, I d argue we have a really special friendship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s definitely one of the girls." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do with that what you will, she s one of the girls." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And today we re just gonna hang out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a mother-daughter date and you get to listen in on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we both love to overshare, so it s going to be totally fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here is my mommy, Sophia Chamberlain, the one and the only." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In what ways do you think I m my mother s daughter?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like there s just a list that goes on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you re," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a workaholic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I don t give off that vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I give off like slacker energy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, God, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Recently, you ve been getting out more, which I think is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like before that, though," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it was all about just like, oh, I have to do this, this, you know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re definitely like that too, though." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I mean, that s what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, it s, you wouldn t just like let loose and go have fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was too scared, I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like scared that I would like lose it if I was like too much like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you were younger, did you do that too?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you like a workaholic with school or with work or were you like, no, I m gonna go out and be with cute boys?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think any opportunity that I had, like if friends were going out, it was like, where are we going on Thursday night?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had the dance clubs to go to and we had our routine and stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So any chance I got, I would definitely go out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether it was a party or clubbing or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s interesting because you became a workaholic" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "later in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you are the most, like that is like you to a T. I thrive on accomplishing stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I thrive on getting shit done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s not that it makes you, like it s not that you love it, but rather that it feeds you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends also what kind of work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For work work, like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s an integrity thing, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I have to accomplish a lot and get it off my plate and do it to perfection so that my integrity stays intact." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I am your mother s daughter in this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s like so, not like toxic, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re definitely both such perfectionists about, I mean, not I wouldn t say just our work life, but I think it s very, very apparent and present there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But just in general, I feel like we re both so things have to be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "done right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like things have to really be done right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like no cutting corners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be done right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because otherwise you think you sit and think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think like, oh, we could have done this better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We could." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you see it physically see something that s not done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s, you know, little the details." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re not as detailed as I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you ll you you re more accepting of things not being perfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you almost because you growing up with me, like wanting things to be so" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "rigidly, you know, tidy and straight and this and that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of like want to mess things up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you want to kind of have things a little beat up or a little crooked or a little wonky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas I m constantly, you know, like, and it s a control thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s another thing that you re, you know, we have control issues." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we definitely do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Another way of my mother s daughter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Growing up with my mom was like growing up in an army base." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every single household chore was boot camp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Doing the dishes boot camp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, literally my mom would inspect the fork after I washed it and she d be like, you didn t use fucking hot water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, you didn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You didn t use hot water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow, wow, did you even use dish soap?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did you know that you have to refill the sponge with the soap?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, obviously you don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you look at me, what do you think I get the most fixated on?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s like controlling what s gonna happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love to have a plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like so bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s from like kind of random daily tasks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everything has to be timed out on my Google calendar to like, I need to know like who s going to be my maid of honor in my wedding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to know who s I m going to marry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to know how many kids I m going to have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I like am obsessed with" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that too, like having that, I need to know where I m going to live, like I m obsessed with planning the future as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s an age thing too though." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Were you like that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I feel like it s kind of a goal, like a life goal or something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you want to get we re very impatient." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the other thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we want to get to it as soon as possible because you have it all planned out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what has to happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you just you re in a big hurry to get there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was very much like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on a daily basis, I may not be like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anxious about my future like you are, because I feel like I ve kind of arrived, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have your career, you have a child who s a nightmare, and that s so much so distracting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then you have... Filled with a lot to do on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In what ways are we different?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, like I said, I mean, I think you rebelled against my precision on things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you kind of like when things are a little more" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "knocked around, beat up, wonky, crooked, a little messy, you kind of rebel against that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like your house is dirty or unorganized, it s more like you might be attracted to a little vintage piece of artwork or something, and it ll be maybe" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "chipped up and knocked around and not, and I d be like, oh no, but it s got chips and not, you know, dents in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, but that s what I like about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like things to be like more, you know, I like, you know, vintage things or antiques, but I like them when they re- But you want to be refurbished." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like them to be more like in better shape." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you are totally good with something just like falling apart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it looks cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so that s one way we re different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think we re different socially?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I m not social." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was when I was your age." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re definitely outgoing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t, I get bored at like, you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "social events where it s maybe like I have trouble hearing people talk you know like I can t if there s a lot of people talking like so it s hard to have a conversation so I feel kind of like I start to like close up because I" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t understand what anyone s saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m like, I m just like, just shaking my head and I m just like, you know, and so I feel that s awkward to me, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s also such an interesting perspective because it s like, it s so true that in most social situations, a party, a club, like, you know, a bar," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s fucking loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just loud and it s not fun to talk to talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It actually is awful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I, you know, when I go out and as we know, I ve been doing it a lot because I call my mom when I m on the way home and it s like two in the morning, three in the morning, four in the morning." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been six in the morning and I m driving home because I don t drink." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, yeah, you get the tea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, how good is the tea?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s awesome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is totally a detour." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now we re going in a completely different direction, but share the best tea I ve ever given you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, what was a story that I got in the car and I called you and I told you about where you re like, this is the juiciest shit yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually like when you ve seen somebody that you haven t seen in a long time or you met somebody" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for the first time and you just really hit it off and it would be an unexpected person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Boy drama." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, boy drama is always the best, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like, oh man, who would have thought that would have happened or that they would have said that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It usually has to do with boys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually where you ve been out and about and you ve seen someone and then you see," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that was kind of the best one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know what you re alluding to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In LA, I think it s like, you re always going to see people out that you have a history with, whether it s an old friend or an ex or whoever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, I think those are the best stories for you, probably, because you know these people, you ve met these people, and then now it s interesting to see what" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or sometimes I ll have been a fan of maybe it s a music artist or an actress or a model or something like that and you ve become friends with them and then you come home and then you tell me stories about an evening out where you ve run into them and then the conversations you ve had or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like so riveted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s so fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like someone that you maybe, you know, watch them on TV when you were little." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ve watched these people grow up to be, you know, successful, whatever artists, musicians, whatever they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s just kind of fun to hear the local stuff that happens when you re out and you run into these people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What they re really like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what they re really like or like, you know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just so fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I honestly feel like I go out and be social for the debrief after with you and my friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, that s what it s about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of like wake up automatically at like 2 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and just go, and I like, Oh, she s still out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well maybe she ll, and then like, if I think you re in a odd place, sometimes like the location will seem a little odd and I ll check in and just say," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you good, just to make sure you re good, but also to let you know that I m awake so that as soon as you get in the car, you can call me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Speaking of you tracking me on my phone, you re an anxious parent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why don t you sort of dig into how you manage being a deeply anxious person and having a child?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I mean, I" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "didn t even want to have a child because I knew that I would be such an anxious parent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was almost like, oh my gosh, I am not the kind of person that should be having kids because I m going to be worried about the baby inside my tummy, worried about the baby coming out okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be worried about everything, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, and then the experience I went through, which was," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the most part, you know, other than being like nauseous for the first six months or whatever, everything was fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except for, you know, you coming out with an emergency C-section." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was like, you had to come out that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so reflective of my personality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Afterwards, you know, go to nurse and you d constantly fall asleep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the nurses would come in and they would be like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "jamming your face, you know, like to nurse, and then you d be arching your back, like, no!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was like, I was like, oh man, we are in for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This girl is like, is gonna be a force to be reckoned with, and here you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the worry just went on and on and on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were anxious and you definitely needed to know where I was at all times, and you definitely were like, you know, you had a leash on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a metaphorical leash on, because some parents actually do the little leash on the kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you had a metaphorical leash on me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t like I was a complete loose cannon." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you did kind of let me be a loose cannon." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, when I look back, it s like, holy shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After school, I d go to the youth center." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "These kids and I would just be running around town, doing whatever, and we were on our own." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I got a little older and I started partying," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was experimenting with drinking and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You and my dad both were like, it s okay, just keep us in the loop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that that s exactly the way to do it because I think it prevented me from ever rebelling in that way and wanting to overdo it, which I think was" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "phenomenal, but it s like, how did you let me go then?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You kind of let me go, even though you re so anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First of all, I trusted you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t feel like you were gonna make a bad decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody makes bad choices, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how we learn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I didn t have the capability of tracking you until you were a little bit older, until you had your first iPhone, basically, because I feel like the other ones, we didn t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because my intentions or my thoughts about tracking you or keeping an eye on you, it wasn t about what you were doing or who you were hanging out with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was just more about being able to rescue you if you were in a bad situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about knowing where you were so that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if there was an earthquake, then I could just come pick you up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what you were more anxious about, rather than what I was actually doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I was never worried about what you were doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was never about controlling what you were doing, who you were hanging out with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was about keeping you, just knowing that I could come and save you somehow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you didn t like it at first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I mean, I think it s invasive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then once I said, hey, but if you re in a situation and you can t call me or something, then I can literally drive to wherever you are and I can pick you and your friends up and get you guys out of a bad situation or maybe a situation you don t wanna be in, which happened, it happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where you guys would be in a house party and the cops would come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you guys would be hiding in the bushes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So scary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like texting me and you don t even know where you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no address because, and you don t even know what street." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I literally could, I would just jump in the car and I would find you that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, I literally, the amount of times we got, the cops got called on us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I wonder if that s normal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, did you have the cops called on parties when you were a kid?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we never, you know, we d all get word and then everybody would split and hide until they drove away and then you would, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember like the Uber account, it s like my Uber account, and you guys would go and then you guys would split, you know, the Uber or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My rating went to shit when you guys would go to, what was it, Shoreline, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Shoreline, for context, was this, like it was this music venue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not super close to where I lived, but like 40 minutes to an hour, and it was where there was $50 country concerts, country shows, and all the high schoolers would go and get super drunk and just make out with each other, and it was really weird, in retrospect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it was so good for you to have that independence, because I feel like, even though you might have been drinking and making out with boys and doing all these things," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the parents really knew, they would be like, oh, that that s not allowed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s the thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do think like you can t rob your child of like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "experimentation like you can t like but within like you know but you there s a responsible way to do it and I think you I think yeah I mean if you were messing around with like scary drugs and stuff or like hooking up with 40 year old men I d be like absolutely not yeah that you know what I mean but you guys were all with each other you guys had been around each other since you were like in fourth grade or fifth grade or even younger some of you" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even knew each other as toddlers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was like, I didn t feel like you were doing anything abnormal at all, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But to an extent, you have to let your kids touch the stove to know that it s hot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "While keeping the leash on those still, too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s like, you know, you were in control of the situation enough where it s like, I" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you also educated me enough to a point where you were like, she s not gonna get hurt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s not taking anything to a level where she s fine, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I didn t feel like any of it was dangerous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I did, I probably would have said no, but I never felt, I felt like you were smart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were also nervous and worried, so you weren t gonna be like, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wasn t totally cool and badass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so scared of everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve never been reckless, and that s a thing, that s a difference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never snuck out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I m the only kid that never... You never needed to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think my personality was set when I was born, or do you think that you and my dad... Influenced?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, do you believe, this is actually, let s take me out of the equation, do you believe that personality is..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "innate or do you think personality is developed through parenting or do you think it s a combination of both?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s a combination of both but like you came out a rebel 100% and I saw that from the get-go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from the very, I didn t understand it the way I do now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think different people wrote books on personality types and there was like personality quizzes and stuff and so one of the ones I really liked narrows in on four different personality types or tendencies that we have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember it because it was right around the time you started high school and that s when I figured out your personality type, my personality type." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very simple." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your personality type and what s mine?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the four tendencies, they call them, is the upholder, the questioner, the rebel, and the obliger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re pretty much a rebel through and through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s overlap, obviously, on every single one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me, I am 100% one of those people who will take care of everyone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the obliger?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, before I take care of myself, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting better, hopefully, about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have no accountability." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re basically held accountable by outside forces or outside people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when it comes to work, you know, just work yourself to death and to the bone and dig yourself in a hole because you are going to" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, do what other people are asking you to do because you want to you don t want to let anybody down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You you re going to rebel against, you know, what everyone is asking because it s deeply rooted in you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s there isn t even any explaining it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It just is what it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you have a little bit of other stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so do I. And for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do feel like I definitely have pieces of all of those, though, when I think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, definitely, I am rebellious, but I also think I can be a people pleaser and just be like, I will do anything for everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I also think I can prioritize myself and be really selfish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think some of that, though, comes from the parenting styles, you know, like where you re saying, did I come out that way or did... Because I feel like there s things that I see you do" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that come from situations that happened when you were younger, where I might have parented a little harshly or, you know, we ve talked about this before, you know, reactive parenting has caused" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t want to say issues, but you know, like you kind of have like PTSD, maybe, I don t know what it is, but you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very self-aware for you as a mom to say, I did something that might have fucked you up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but it s a very rare thing, special." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Really?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I don t know, I feel like all parents feel guilty about something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because here s the thing, it s like, the thing is," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every parent is going to fuck up, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s about being able to apologize." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, Lord knows when I m a parent, God, I don t know what I m gonna do wrong, but I will do something wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s just how it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I mean- But we all do, because we, you just, you re learning as you re going, kind of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not like, you know, I don t think any of us are prepared or know, and I don t care how many classes you take." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t, I did all that stuff, and it didn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You came out," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so opposite of me, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so, you know, it s like, okay, sweetie, it s time to brush your teeth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, yes, we have to brush your teeth because you don t wanna have rotten teeth and you don t wanna go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re like, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then there s me, you know, pinning you down on the floor of your bedroom going, we re gonna brush your teeth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re like, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, yes, yes, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re like power struggling through life until I realized," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "who you were, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was by that point, though, all that reactive parenting had already taken place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, when I think of reactive parenting, it s like a more emotional tone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a more, it s a more elevated tone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more, there s anger, you know, there s emotion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, it s- But it s also cutting off children and not hearing them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like being really emotional about something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or snippy and not giving a child a chance to say, hey, wait a minute, I have something to say about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, you just need to go brush your teeth and go to bed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, it s like, but wait, I have something to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, you just, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that is something that I ll probably never be okay with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s just, you know, cause it hurts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, I, because I see you overcompensating sometimes because I think" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that influenced, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s kind of sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s not sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause you go, I just, especially with, say like in relationships with like friends or boys and it s like, no, no, no, no, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s, I caused that for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t like be sort of more of a pushover or be like too agreeable or be like, or not feel like, or hesitate to, to speak your mind because you were shut down" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "as me being a reactive parent in that parenting style, kind of shut you down in a way so you felt like you weren t gonna be heard or that you couldn t speak up for yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I ve seen you do it in relationships, whether it s just friendships or, you know, where the other person may not be the best person for you to be around because of their- So then they bring out that side of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so then, not that they would ever, you know, maybe even consciously take advantage of that of you," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but that dynamic comes out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And, uh, that s where, so one time I was, you know, it was like, it was a real, and it wasn t even that long ago." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I saw it on Instagram and it was somebody acting out a reactive parenting scenario." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I went, Oh," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh no, I was that parent for a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I sent it to you and I was like, Emma, oh my God, I was that parent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think this is why you do this thing or do these different things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I wanted you to be aware of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you would say, wait a minute, I don t have to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t have to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a voice and I need to be heard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I don t need to hold back just because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "of something that happened to me when I was a kid that influenced the way I am with everyone else in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d much rather you recognize that and me go down for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll go down for it just to help you see the person you need to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but ultimately, that is phenomenal parenting though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you never stopped being a parent, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, and it s like, okay, yeah, that was a rough patch and it was," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it definitely formed me in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, every single little thing that happened when I was a kid formed me in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also feeling like I can call you at any time and talk to you about anything and you re never gonna judge me and you re always gonna, you re not gonna get mad at me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On that side of things, that formed me in a way where now I m not afraid of being myself as much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being a good parent is being selfless enough with your child, taking your ego out of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being selfless enough with your child to say, I fucked up, this is how I think it fucked you up, and I m sorry, and let s work through it together so that you can heal from that, I can heal from that, and we can all blossom." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because at the end of the day, if it s not that, it s probably something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think in order to be a good parent, you kinda have to let your ego go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree, because that s why you re able to now, to see this TikTok about how you were," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How you parent it in a way that you re not proud of and to send it to me and say, I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t do that if your ego s in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, no, no, no, I have ego in being a good parent, a perfect parent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But your dad and I have talked many times about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Once you have a kid, you go out the window, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not about you anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have this little person and you gotta give it your all and make sure that they re safe, happy, you know, and whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not about, you know, raising the smartest or the cutest or the most talented." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just about, we ve talked about this so many times, we gave you the opportunity to be you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we had respect for you as a little human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we wanted you to develop into whatever you were going to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "not who we are, who you are, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s where a lot of parents are like, oh no, no, no, we don t talk about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t talk about this or we don t get, you know, boy crazy or we don t, you know, we don t say this word." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t, you know, and it s like, but you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Such a funny example to use because nine times out of 10, I m calling you, it s about a," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about all of those things, which is just totally normal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whereas other parents, I think, really try to control that kind of stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, why though?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it because you re worried about looking bad because your kids are boy crazy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "boys and everybody s crazy about everybody, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At a certain age, it s like, so why do you care how that s gonna make you look?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also even like college, like, oh, my kid needs to go to this college or, oh, my kid needs to get this job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it does really get, it s..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible on both ends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible for the child because they feel like they can t discover what they want to do with their lives themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it s terrible for the parent because, I m so sorry, you re going to get disappointed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re going to get fucking disappointed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or if you put rules into place like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We had conversations because you felt like you had to go to this college or that college or a good college or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, no, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can do whatever you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re in the driver s seat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No judgment here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why you re doing what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s interesting though, because how rare is it for a parent to, this is so backwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often is the kid like, no, I need to go to college, but something inside me is telling me I m not going to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the parents are like, don t go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When does that ever happen?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s crazy how the gut instincts really kick in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "your dad and I, it wasn t about us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was about you and about you being happy, healthy, figuring things out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t about like, Oh, well, if she doesn t go to Harvard, then we re going to look like dumbasses or something like it just, you know, it," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It didn t matter to us, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But also, I went to FIDM." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He went to a few years of, you know, so it s like, well, right, it s like, who are y all to talk?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right, but it s like you could say, well, don t do what I did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Go for your education and reach for the stars or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you don t have to reach for the stars on a certain path." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you had made it really clear that that path was everyone s doing the same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody looks the same way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I look around the room and every face looks the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like driving going, oh my God, she s freaking me out right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I don t even, what does she mean by that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I thought, you know, cause you were so much, so much more advanced, you know, than I realized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re telling me this on the way home from school one day when you were in high school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going very Shakespeare." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going very poetic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was going very abstract art in the car with you that day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like shaking going, oh my God, do I need to like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "have a, you know, like, sign her up with a psychologist, like, I don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was like, we went to the, you know, college counseling and you walked out of there just shaking your head and I m going, I don t know what s going wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say that was when I sort of, like my, I started having very intuitive feelings at that point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you said you didn t see yourself graduating from high school like walking the line, and it freaked you out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Remember that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that was what was so weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to this day is so weird with graduating high school in the proper way, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like walking down the line." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, I couldn t see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "could not see me in college." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted both of those things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know I was a very studious, academically driven child." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You were so anxious about?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Perfection in that setting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right, like because you were, it was something you would say, I gotta get into the best colleges, I have to have those, I just have to, I have to, and we re like, but why, you know, like why do you feel like you have to do that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole thing is weird in retrospect because it s like most of the time a kid s not going to" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Catholic all-girls school unless their parents forced them to go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to go because I was like, this is gonna help me prep for college so that I can go to a good college because I really think what it was rooted in was feeling, obviously the Bay Area, the Silicon Valley, it s a bunch of tech families, it s a lot of wealthy kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we weren t necessarily there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were up there with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we weren t there, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, I was like, I feel inferior in a way, which was completely fucking ridiculous in retrospect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but that s normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, as a kid who doesn t understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And even as a parent, I wanted so badly to provide that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "a house with you know whatever and then whatever kind of car you wanted when you turn 16 and you know like I wanted to provide all that and and that made us who we are today you know and in it you know but at the time you know my heart hurt" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, to not be able to provide that for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when I looking back, I m glad I didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me fucking too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, I mean, I m not I don t regret any of any of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But at the time, it was really hard because it was like I was constantly looking for the little house, even just rent that would be affordable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think growing up how I grew up," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also felt inferior to the kids that had the married parents, the brothers and sisters in the house with the two dogs and the this and the that and the two trucks and the car to go to town in and all the stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not have any of that either." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I look back and I go, oh man, my childhood is so interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also when you re a kid, you probably have experienced this, when you re a kid," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You take everything for granted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t realize how good you have it until you re older and you re able to see things from a worldly scale." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was under the impression that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, my childhood was much more challenging than it was because I was comparing, you know, myself to like these rich kids who have like tech parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like millionaire parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re everywhere, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like I m comparing myself to that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only made it worse by going to Catholic all-girls school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only way that we were able to do that was by getting financial aid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I m around it even more and I was just so cynical." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, like, fuck these people, because I m around, like, I m around all this, I m around, actually, what I realized now was extreme wealth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that is an unusual, you know, sort of set up, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not normal for," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, 15 year old girls to be getting like a Dior bag for Christmas." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s very weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in most places that s not normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or like the car of their dreams, brand new for their 16th birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they crash it and then they get a new one the next week." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, I just had no clue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had no context." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes you, because you look back," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and you, like, I so appreciate my upbringing and my childhood and all the different stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also too, even yours, even though I was obsessive about, you know, like I said, getting the cute little house that you could have your friends over and not, you know, be embarrassed because, you know, it was, you know, like I actually," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was cute inside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was cute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just describe it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like basically we had this apartment that we lived in for years and years and years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like 10 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like 10 years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was mortified of this apartment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s OK." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it was listen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, in retrospect now, I m like, my mom put a roof over my head." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had two bedrooms in there, which is like incredible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We had, I had my own space, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Awesome closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was clean always." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like decorated so cute inside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it was, it was more, I could not be more grateful for it now, but at the time, let me tell you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all the neighbors were a little creepy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we had some cute ones." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ones across from us upstairs were awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the ones below us were awful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In absolute feud with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was insane." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had to tiptoe walking around the house, because if not, they would start hitting the fucking ceiling with a broom, and they d be like, shut the fuck up!" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were always on some sort of drug, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our apartment smelled like weed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my mom... Calling the police all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh God, it was awful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d call the police on us, we d call the police on them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think reactive parenting came from that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not trying to make excuses, but that situation, I look back and I go, I should have just gotten us out of there because I would be so short-tempered because of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but it was hard because I lived, I was going to school there and it was going to be emotionally challenging to get me out of that school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re like, by the way, we were rent controlled there, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, the rent was so amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You could walk to school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So there are some good things about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you could walk to school or I could pop you over or walk you to school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There came a point where you wanted to walk to school by yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gave you that independence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But how often did your friends come with you after school?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we were one block away from downtown." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you guys would go over and get whatever Starbucks or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, and it was the pad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You guys all hung out and you guys would, you know, take little videos out of the window and of like friends walking by, you know, because it was so fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was actually like location, location, location." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was interesting because like I was always very embarrassed to bring other kids over because, you know, of course, naturally I m comparing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this apartment to, you know, most of them had gorgeous houses or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, two story, you know, six bedrooms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was like, but what was interesting was that most of them actually did end up preferring hanging out at our place because it was cozy and it was, and there was a, you know, a special energy there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, like I," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so appreciative of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We went off on a crazy tangent, and I m glad we did because that was a phenomenal topic, but all of this was because I was saying it made no sense for me to be like, I need to go to a Catholic all-girls school because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a lot of friction to get me there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t like, oh, this is a seamless, easy thing, like, whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But did we ever do anything easy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but I had this gut intuition." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I need to go to this Catholic all-girls school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it was like, you know, I knew I had to go there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then when it came to going to college, I knew" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not gonna happen, but it was going against my logical brain and it was so weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to this day, though, it s like, that happens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just happens with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even with friendships, I ll be like, I don t see this in two years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if I m like, we re having so much fun, I wanna be friends with this person forever, but I ll close my eyes and I ll be like, I don t see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, but then I ll have friends where I close my eyes and I can see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a more recent development." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I like, you know, where it s like, Whoa, I actually am seeing these people in my head for a long time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But same thing with even dating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like every time I, Oh, this is like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "torturous when you are, I m like, I ll be so in love with someone, I think at least, whether it s real love or not, it depends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be an illusion, it could be not, but I ll be so convinced that I m in love with this person for the right reasons and that this is something that s gonna go the distance and I ll close my eyes and I ll be like, it isn t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it isn t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it goes against what I want to be true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you kind of want to go, well, I could be wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then every time I do, I get fucked over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m learning now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s such a gift." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s something to pay attention to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you have that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like we all have a gift for intuition." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so say you re talking about a situation with a relationship." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "friendship, whatever, I m not saying specifics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I might just have an intuition about somebody, and I ll say it, and I m usually right, and it s kind of freaky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of freaky." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, moms kind of know, and maybe it s just because I ve been around the block multiple times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People always say that moms always know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so interesting because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck, you have nailed it on the head with everyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do know, you immediately, I actually need to start asking you more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I ll give you my opinion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s not even judgment on someone, it s not even like, oh, those are bad people, don t hang out with them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s about the compatibility with me?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s not even about, yeah, it s mostly, it s like a dynamic and you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve just come to that place where I pay attention more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think you ve just been more in tune." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I think I might be in tune, but yes, I ignore it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, no, I think what happens with you, though, is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "because you have anxiety, you will overanalyze those things sometimes and then you get worried about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "An example would be like an intrusive thought, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then all of a sudden, you ll start to make something out of that because you ll go, oh, that popped in my head." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And is that, okay, but does that mean it s real?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or is it just because it was an intrusive thought?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you have this like, oh my gosh, you poor thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s really," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have done that my whole life and I got a handle on that when I was in my older 20s." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m getting better about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was probably even in my 30s when I was able to get a handle on that and figure out the tools and you will, you ll get there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it sucks because you ll spend so much energy and time and lose a lot of sleep over this kind of stuff that you create yourself that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "99.999% of the time never happens, and so that s why I m here to remind you, because I ve learned how to cope with that and talk myself out of it, and it s been a blessing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I, like, thank God that you are as anxious as me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, imagine you were sort of a child that you grew up just as anxious as me, but you didn t have a parent who understood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a certain..." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "feeling that you have when you re the anxious kid that s, you know, worried about a lot of things because you re so distracted by the worry and the, and that dark cloud following you around that you just don t, you know, it s hard to, to like let go and have a good time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you, like, I just, you know, I, I see some of that in you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I try to do whatever I can to" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Say, hey, I did that, and look, you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it makes it so much, it s so, it is such a gift, like, to have somebody to call, you know, when you re like, I m experiencing this, this, this, this, and that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what s happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to have somebody say, you re not dying, you re not losing your mind, you re totally fine, this is normal, and it s happened to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I really think that one of the most powerful resources anxious people can have is just someone, anyone," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that has experienced it before, that s a key, key, key component, needs to understand it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you talk about it with somebody who doesn t, they ll make you feel crazy, actually." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ll make you feel, you know, they ll completely, the way that their tone towards you will never be empathetic enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only from somebody who has experienced deep anxiety, only can they" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s at least my experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I never had, I never had anybody." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I never had anyone to understand it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not a parent, not a friend, no one." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No one understood what I was going through." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it wasn t even like well known." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like panic disorder and anxiety, generalized anxiety and panic disorder was just not very commonly," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "talked about or addressed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And most people, if they did have it, they were on anti-anxiety medicine, which was not an option for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But nobody understood what I was feeling." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so until I finally did work with somebody who did, and they gave me" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "this workshop thing and I did it twice over and that s how I was able to to get the tools that I have and and thank goodness have them to share with you and to understand it is just you know that s what it is I ve noticed with anxiety is like once you understand it and that s what s making it easier for me now like" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "knowing that it s normal and it s gonna pass and that it s not like something is very, very wrong." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say, though, I ve noticed in you recently, you re making friends in the neighborhood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My mom moved to Los Angeles, California." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now she s not my neighbor, but she lives pretty close." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, we re L.A." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "girls now, obviously." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like you moving to L.A." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "has been really good for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like you have so many friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll call you and you re like, I m on a walk with my friend." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, wow, that s weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re like, wait a minute, you re always there for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I m going to this dinner party or something and I m like, oh, what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, it s kind of crazy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think living in L.A., you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re coming out of your shell, and I think you re learning to have a better work-life balance, and I honestly think it s never too late to figure that out, and you re at a place now where, financially, it s like, maybe you can give yourself a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve worked so hard for so many fucking years, so fucking hard for so many years, and you ve, it s like, I think at a certain point, it ll click for you, and you ll be like, I think I do get to celebrate now, and that can happen," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can just happen whenever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no timeline where it s like, oh, I missed out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t do it soon enough, so now I have to live this way for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, hello?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m trying." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing it s baby steps." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I m here to be like, okay, well, I need time to get out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s getting weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like time to get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mommy, you re being so boring." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so weird." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you know, it s funny, like, it s like, back in the day, it s like, oh, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The different things that adults did to go have fun is just not the stuff that I like, you know, so now it s like having, you know, taking out time with these new friends that I have to try new restaurants or just have them over for coffee or" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "go take the kids for long hikes to the top of the hill, things that are just more in my, so I m just more lined up with people that like to do the same things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it s kind of funny, because I moved here and I ve never looked back, and it s been so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually think we love LA." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love LA." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone loves LA." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s funny because you know I hated LA for so long." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually fucking into LA right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m loving it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I would come down and help you at the different locations you were at before," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was kind of like, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I lived in terrible areas." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was just like, I don t think I could do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then when I got kind of stuck here, helping to get the house finished and all that, and just got a routine down, it was like, oh, well, I already kind of lived here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I liked it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I liked it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was like, I ve never lived back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, it s so fun!" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not, like, I just am giddy with how much nature I get to be in, like, all the critters." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She, okay, we love rats, like pet rats." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she had a pet rat in college and she would carry it to class in her pocket and it would sit in her little sweatshirt pocket and it" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "would crawl up on her shoulder and sleep on her shoulder." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And this was her little best friend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when I got older, then my mom was like, let s get Emma a rat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I wanted a rat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I had pet rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We both have a deep fondness for rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Top rodent, I d argue for the both of us." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Although my mom also loves squirrels." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s her top rodent." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My top rodent is probably rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like actually love them and I think that they re incredibly smart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, I m not, listen, I don t," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t need to see a big like two foot New York rat, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I m not hungry for that experience." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But like a little cute female pet rat, obsessed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Long story short, my mom loves rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She also used to feed the squirrels at her work." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then she also, and then on top of that, she s obsessed with the salamanders that are all around, or no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not salamanders." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lizards, sorry, she s your lizard friend." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Western fence lizards and southern alligator lizards." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is so many cool lizards at my house, you guys." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it is so cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of them are super turquoise and some of them are just like, there s all sorts of little baby ones." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my gosh." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re definitely an animal person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very special to see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s why I would rather be with the animals than be out and be social." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "See, you re one of those that needs to wear the shirt that s like, I like my dog more than people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s you, actually." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the picture of the person laying on the floor talking to the dog when they re at a party." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Classic Sophia." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Classic mommy mode." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t help it, sorry." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not gonna apologize for it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think their final conclusion is, my mom likes any critter that s within a 10-foot radius of her house more than she likes me, and that s okay, and that s a relationship." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now, because you re older and you re now an adult, they can take priority over you sometimes and you don t like it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I actually kind of am relieved, I m like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s having fun, and I can call you at 2 a.m." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "while you re cuddling with the critters." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s a perfect balance, what we have." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, Mommy, thank you for coming on the show." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re welcome." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you have fun?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you come back?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, totally." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we could talk forever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we will." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ll come back, and next time we ll talk about" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we ll really dig into the rats." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh God, yeah, no, no." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I should probably stop saying God." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I keep saying that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh really?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can say God." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, okay." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can say fuck." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can say shit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can say God." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can say anything you want." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can say damn." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ass." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Titties." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, titties and ass." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cooter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Vagina." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vagina!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Penis." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Penis!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let loose, that should be like my warm up before I record is I make everyone go down the list of like, you know, of like, ooh, that s a little spicy words." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spicy, I like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spicy words." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you did amazing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Awesome, I m glad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can t wait for you to come back." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I can t wait to come back, it was fun." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"" ]
11,844
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to know what all the cool kids are talking about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fine, I ll tell you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s going to be in in 2024 and what s going to be out in 2024?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s what all the cool kids are talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, it s what all the cool kids were talking about a few weeks ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m a little late, and I always am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m late because I m not on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ask you to let me enjoy this conversation anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Indulge in this conversation anyway, because my God, is it a good one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last week, I discussed what I think is going to be in in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you haven t listened to that, go give it a listen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This week, I m going to be discussing what I think is going to be out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s done?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s finished?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re leaving it in the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This list is filled with a combination of things that I want to be out in 2024," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "things that I m manifesting will go out, and things that I genuinely predict will go out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s sort of a combination." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that we re on the same page, let s begin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, having too many appointments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having an expensive, time-consuming, inefficient self-care routine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now hear me out, I myself have quite a few appointments constantly on my schedule for self-care, or is it self-care?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Self-improvement?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the word is, but getting your hair done, getting your nails done, getting your eyebrows done, getting your eyelashes done, getting your lips done, getting your hair waxed, getting your hair lasered, you get what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that having a bunch of appointments constantly on the calendar for these types of things is going to be out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s going to be in is scaling down the routine a bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll use myself as an example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to get way more treatments, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to self-tan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d get spray tans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to get my eyebrows done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to have a really complicated hair situation, like I always had to be getting my hair done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always getting it colored or bleached or something like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to get waxed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to do waxing for a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to get facials." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to constantly be at an appointment because I was always getting something done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I don t even think I took it too far, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like when it comes to people who have a lot of appointments, I was on the less extreme end of things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even still, I felt like I was always going to some sort of appointment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the years, I ve shed a lot of appointments and now I ve scaled it down to what really, really matters to me so that I can spend more time doing other things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I dyed my hair back to its natural color." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now my hair maintenance routine, I go in every few months, get a little trim, even out the color, call it a day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m good for months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having my nails done is very important to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I always have my nails done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m currently getting laser hair removal so that I never have to shave again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I only have to go in and do that every six weeks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then every once in a while, when my skin is feeling shitty, I ll go in and get a facial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other than that, I m good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I shed all of the treatments that were not serving me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting my eyebrows done, that s not important to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be important to you, and that s totally fine, but it s not important to me, so I shed it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to let my natural eyebrows do their thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to have that appointment on my calendar every month." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t need that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to be getting facials every week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That being said, I was doing that more when I had acne and I don t really have as much acne anymore because I went on Accutane, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to do that anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s removed from the consistent schedule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many treatments these days that you can get that alter your appearance that are impactful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting your lips done, getting your eyelashes done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting lymphatic massage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do enjoy lymphatic massage and I do get those sometimes, but like there are so many different types of treatments in appointments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think in 2024, it s going to be out to have too many appointments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of people are going to start scaling down their routines in that way and just doing what s important to them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jumping off of that, number two, spray tans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think spray tans are out for so many reasons." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, they don t look that good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they only look good for like three days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they start to look patchy and gross and weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been getting spray tans for years because when I was a cheerleader many years ago, we would all get spray tans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because we were wearing these tiny uniforms and we all wanted to look like we had big muscles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like bodybuilding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like bodybuilding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s honestly toxic, but whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re tan, your muscles look more defined." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re wearing a tiny uniform and you re" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "half naked, it s tempting to want to look more buff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it was totally a trend in the cheerleading world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always had to spray tan for cheer competitions because I wanted to look buff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been doing it for years and I haven t done it in a while now because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think it looks good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think it looks good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times, it can make you look a bit orange." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rare to get the shade quite right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It so rarely looks natural." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can look natural, but it s so rare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will always end up patchy at some point." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think it s worth it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s worth it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it better than going in a tanning bed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although going in a tanning bed looks better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, it does." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not good for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Spray tans are harmless, but they just don t look as good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s going to be in to just accept what you have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, during the summer, get a little sun kissed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But during the winter, I just think it s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think spray tans are out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are not a lot of redeeming qualities about it when I think about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much work to go and get a spray tan just for it to look splotchy and orange in like 72 hours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "posting everything on social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think 2024 is the year of less is more on social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like instead of posting every move, it s going to be less frequent posts with a more impactful update." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this goes for public figures as well as people who are just sharing on social media with their friends and family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the whole concept of sharing everything is so hard to do healthily that I think a lot of people are going to stop doing it just naturally and they re going to start living a little bit more in the moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re going to check into social media less frequently to give a little update." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what I think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know for me," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is appealing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I haven t been the type of person who shares every single little move that I make on social media in a long time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when I was younger, I did that a lot more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I value living in the moment in a whole new way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t even think to post every move on social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have to force myself to do that if I were to want to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an unnatural behavior for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of people are trying to spend less time on social media and make their time on social media more impactful, like when they are on there, you know, looking at things that make them feel good, posting less frequent updates." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think most people are heading that direction, or at least they re trying to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think constantly spamming social media is going to be out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s going to be out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not across the board." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are always going to be people who are sharing every single little detail of their day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think on a broader scale, it s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s not to say that social media itself is out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course it s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so ingrained in us that it s not ever going to be out, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s now a permanent part of human life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the way that we use social media is going to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be less" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like when it was new, everyone was so obsessed, so addicted, so in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like now as a collective, we re all like, hold on, we need to live in the real world a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s fucking awesome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, I think this means being less emotional when posting things on social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There has always been a certain type of person that goes on social media when they re upset and posts about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve never felt like that s a good idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always think it s better to wait to post about something emotional until you ve settled down a bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the same thing with getting into an argument with somebody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to get into an argument when you re too fired up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to wait until you re" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bit more level-headed so that you can be more rational in conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just a better way to carry yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It leads to a more successful conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the same goes for social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people are going to hopefully think a bit more before they post." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Overall, I love the idea of posting everything on social media being out" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number four, staying at the party, even when it sucks, just to see if it gets good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck that, I m done doing that, and I feel like we re all done doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know when you go to a party and the energy is just off, there s a bunch of little groups standing in the corner, maybe the lights are on a little bit too bright, the flow is not there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a good party has the perfect balance, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a good amount of people there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s mingling with each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The ambiance is correct." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The lights are down low, but not too low." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The music is loud, but not too loud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The energy is just right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you never know when you re going to find that energy at a party or even at a bar or at a club." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just depends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the universe just decides." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is why I hate throwing parties myself because there s so much pressure to accomplish that perfect vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t accomplish it, it s kind of embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s kind of vulnerable to be the host of a party because if it doesn t have a good vibe, then people are like, oh, that person doesn t throw good parties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I hate that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I don t do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only do small gatherings, but I m done staying at the party to see if it gets good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes on a Saturday night, I go out and I m like, fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s fucking hate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll end up at a place, maybe it s a bar, maybe it s a party, and the vibe sucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because it s Saturday and because I want to celebrate, I m like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to stick it through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to stick it through." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what I ended up doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wasting my whole evening because it never gets better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I could have went to bed at a reasonable hour, but instead I wasted my whole evening waiting to see if it would get better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will admit, sometimes the party does get better, but I would say, in my experience, that happens less frequently than the party just never getting good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re better off going home or finding another spot to hang out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of my favorite evening memories consist of my friends and I going to a party, hating it, and then going to a diner and talking shit instead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the best!" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop waiting around to see if it gets good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Five, constantly being available and responding to every text." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, an expectation has been created to constantly be available, constantly respond to everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of us feel bad that we re not like that all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we feel bad if we can t respond to everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We feel this pressure to always be available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, I think we re all going to collectively agree that it s not that deep if we don t respond to a text for a few days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that deep if we don t respond to a text at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we just don t have it in us to be communicating at all times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the expectation is going to lower in 2024." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that in 2024, we collectively take that pressure off of ourselves to always be available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in addition to that, we also take the pressure off of others to always be available." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of ridiculous if you think about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a really big ask of ourselves and of others to always be available and to always want to respond." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not built to communicate in that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re built to communicate in a much less intense or frequent way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we re built to communicate with people who are around us in a given moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when we re alone, to be fully alone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s sort of gone now because we can just text each other, email each other, call each other, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, at all times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes it so that you never get to fully be alone and recharge in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things are going to change, maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe things are going to change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going off of that, number six, showing virtual face on FaceTime or on Zoom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we can turn off the Zoom camera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to show our face in every meeting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re calling instead of FaceTiming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so exhausting to always be on camera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already started turning my Zoom camera off nine out of 10 meetings that I m in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I always apologize for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I say, sorry, I don t really want to be on camera today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I don t say it like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, you guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really want to be on camera today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just feel like, no, it s not that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, hey, you guys, I m off camera today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Excuse me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hope you don t mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t say that either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew, why am I saying it so weird?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always bring it up and I m like, don t take it personal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t like being on camera, basically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I ve been calling people instead of FaceTiming them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there s something fatiguing and exhausting about having a conversation virtually and your face being visible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that it s just visible to them, it s also visible to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when you re on Zoom or you re on FaceTime, you can see yourself in the corner of the screen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something exhausting about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like to think about what I look like when I m having a conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it distracts me from communicating properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know I m not the only one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think showing face virtually, it s out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number seven, feeling guilty when it s unnecessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, it s fair to feel guilty if you really did something wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you really did something wrong and you really wronged somebody, I don t think there s anything wrong with feeling a bit guilty about it for a period of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some would argue it s crucial to learn your lesson." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you have to feel that shame, that guilt in order to learn your lesson and to eventually come to a place where you forgive yourself and you re hungry to do better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think guilt is sort of a crucial part of that journey, but there are so many instances where we feel guilty and we shouldn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like cutting a friend out of our lives who doesn t make us feel good, doesn t click with our life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to feel bad about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Accidentally waking up too late some days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to feel bad about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re human." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We make mistakes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being lazy sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to feel guilty about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Falling out of our exercise routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re human." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to feel guilty about that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like with these sorts of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "instances, it makes more sense to feel inspired instead of feeling guilty." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, you fall out of your workout routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not doing it anymore, but you know it makes you feel good and you really want to get back into it, but you know it takes discipline and you re trying to find that discipline from within, but it s hard to find." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of feeling guilty and bad about falling out of the routine, instead be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m inspired to get back into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really going to make it a priority to get back into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if you spent a week being really lazy, you just had a lazy week, instead of feeling guilty and like you re a piece of shit, let it inspire you to get back into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Changing your mindset in that way is so much more effective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I just think feeling guilty when it s unnecessary is out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number eight, adopting a pet even though it s a bad idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we ve all seen dogs, puppies up for adoption and been like, oh, I need it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all found ourselves going through a rough time and thought, you know what would fix this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Adopting an animal companion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a coincidence that I adopted both of my cats directly after breakups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, it s not a coincidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t regret that for the record, but I probably shouldn t have done it when I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I probably should have waited a little bit longer and thought about it a bit more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, no regrets, but still." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so tempting to adopt a pet, even though it s not a good idea for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, even for me, I travel so much that I honestly shouldn t have pets." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For my job, I travel all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I travel, I have to have somebody watch my cats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have multiple options available for that, but that s not an ideal situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably shouldn t have done that, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I figured out a routine that works, and that s great, but not everybody wants to pay for a babysitter for their pet when they leave town." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we forget that when we re in a haze and we want to adopt a pet so bad, we can t think of anything else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you meet a really cute little kitten at an adoption center." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You meet a cute little puppy at an adoption center." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go into a trance and be like, oh, I need a little furry friend though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a decision that requires so much thought." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to analyze your entire life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this a good idea?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often do you travel?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you work from home?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you have the time to give this animal the love" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "care it deserves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say 9 out of 10 people shouldn t have a pet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I shouldn t have a pet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My pets are totally taken care of and they are so loved and so happy but I shouldn t have a pet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you get what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my lifestyle does not align with having a pet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we re not impulsively adopting pets." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number nine, food delivery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hear me out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think food delivery on a special occasion is phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Night in with friends, ordering dinner, fuck yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A really long day at work, no groceries in the fridge, food delivery, fuck yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Occasional food delivery is incredible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a novelty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s exciting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I think is out is constantly ordering food delivery, getting food delivered once a day or more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure if this is something that people do more in big cities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or if this is something that people do everywhere, because I will say food delivery is much less available in smaller cities, smaller towns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In big cities, it s so incredibly available." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many options." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know if this is more of a niche one, but I know a lot of people that order food delivery on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And understandably so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gone through phases like that because it s so convenient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy to get into a routine of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And especially when you live alone, it s like, I don t want to go get groceries for just myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to order food, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s why I think it s going to be out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, it is definitely not cost effective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an expensive habit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only is restaurant food more expensive, but also there are delivery fees." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all these different taxes like, oh, delivery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all these things happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The price is always higher than you think it s going to be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re burning money almost, you know, if you re doing it all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like burning money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, doing it all the time destroys the novelty that is food delivery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think food delivery should be a novelty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It should be this exciting, romantic, fun thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you do it all the time, then it s not that anymore and you take it for granted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not doing a lot of food delivery right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been really cooking for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m not cooking myself anything extravagant, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m making the same things every week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s boring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I enjoy making these simple meals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like getting my hands dirty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s therapeutic in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only that, but it s much more cost effective, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My grocery bill compared to like my postmates bill, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think abusing food delivery is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Special occasions only." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get back into cooking again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you don t need to cook yourself anything super extravagant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just do what your ancestors were doing and cook again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 10, ordering everything online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never going to stop ordering things online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now that COVID s over and everything s open again and it s been a few years, I think shopping in person is going to come back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think ordering everything online is going to be out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s why." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a lot of ways, it s less convenient to order everything online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so nice to go into a store and enjoy your time there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to get all the stuff that you need, but also maybe pick up some other stuff that you didn t know you needed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Discover new stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re shopping for clothes, you can try things on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to deal with the pesky returns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, it was all about online shopping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And online shopping will never fully be out, but I think it s going to go out a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think ordering everything online is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s going to become ordering just some stuff online and getting back into the stores." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we were to look at the data, the data is not showing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m going against all the data, but I could see people craving the experience of going to a store again and the convenience in some ways of going to the store again, especially I think for clothing shopping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Irresponsible tattoo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Picture this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a night out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You and all your friends are a little buzzed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You walk past a tattoo shop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody says, wait, we should all get a matching tattoo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go in and get something hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two years later, you re not even friends with those people anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This shit s out, okay, this shit is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Irresponsible tattoos are out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting a matching tattoo with your significant other, don t do that, that s out, that is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cursed and it s out, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting a super trendy tattoo that s really of the now, that s not even that personal to you, it s just trendy, that s out, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s in is to take tattoos seriously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s out is to just go out on a whim and get a tattoo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That has to be out soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like a lot of us don t take tattoos that seriously, but it is crazy how permanent they are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re very permanent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t get them lasered off, sure, but who wants to do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a huge decision to get a tattoo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to make sure you go to a great artist who has good technique and has a lot of experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to make sure you re in the right frame of mind and that you ve fully thought about what you re going to get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you love the idea and you know that it s timeless and it ll never get old to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the only way to get tattoos I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have quite a few actually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have like 12 or 15 and they re all on the insides of my arms and every single one is meaningful to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do have one irresponsible tattoo." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I regret getting it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, because I just don t think regret is a necessary emotion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do have one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I were to be faced with the choice of getting it now, would I get it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, absolutely not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the moment, I wanted to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re young and you re like, oh, I m going to get a matching tattoo, like with someone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Terrible idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t ever do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally don t ever do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t regret it, but I wouldn t do it again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I could go back, I wouldn t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And moving forward, I won t do that again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think irresponsible tattoos are out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 12, tampons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sick and tired of tampons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need them sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m going to a red carpet event and I m wearing this gown and I won t be able to address the situation for hours on end, it s pretty handy to have a big tampon that will soak it all up, holding it down in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, I rely on tampons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a very vivid fear of toxic shock." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what that is, I will tell you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a rare, life-threatening complication of certain bacterial infections." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can get it from wearing a tampon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to my.clevelandclinic.org, there isn t a set time for when symptoms of toxic shock syndrome start after using a tampon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, tampons should be removed from your vagina after eight hours to lower your risk of toxic shock syndrome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This doesn t mean that you will get toxic shock syndrome if a tampon is left in your vagina for longer than eight hours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means studies have shown that prolonged use of a tampon promotes the production of harmful bacteria." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so scary." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I don t want to fear monger here because I don t think that it s, it s not very common, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think if you re using tampons responsibly and you re taking them out responsibly, you know, you re not leaving them in for too long, I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, you re most likely going to be fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you start to get a fever while you re wearing a tampon, then you take it out immediately and go to the hospital." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you know, we re going to be fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a lot of paranoia around them because it scares me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also a lot of them have fragrances in them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a lot of tampons have fragrances in them and other like harmful chemicals and stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can buy ones that don t, but they re less available." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like if you randomly ask someone for a tampon, they re probably going to give you one that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "isn t like all natural and shit, and that s not good for your vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just over tampons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They stress me out so much, and they re very uncomfortable, and I think that tampons are out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, call me crazy for this, but if your period s not too heavy, maybe it s wearing a pad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love wearing a pad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been wearing pads more recently, and it s like kind of amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do it when my period s super heavy," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when it s a bit lighter, I m wearing a pad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also wear period underwear that soak up the blood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of has like a built-in pad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love those." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been pondering getting one of those menstrual cups." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a reusable cup that collects all the blood and you can reuse it forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not forever, but for a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think tampons are out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re so convenient, but they might be" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 13, extreme PDA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about grabbing each other s asses in public, making out when it s kind of inappropriate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the lights are a little too bright in here for you guys to be making out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, being super overwhelmingly affectionate with your significant other in front of other people during conversation, like it s distracting, it s inappropriate, it s weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love PDA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m in a relationship, I actually enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like a little grab on the leg under the table at a restaurant with friends, with bae." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love even a casual arm around me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like a little kiss on the cheek in public." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love a little holding hands when waiting in line at a coffee shop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think overwhelming PDA kind of needs to go out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a few weeks ago I was at a party, and let me paint the scene for you, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well-lit room, like very well-lit, like everyone could see everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s sitting around super casually, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just sitting on the couch casually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of space for everyone to just hang out comfortably and spread out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this one couple, and I don t want to shit on them because I bet they re really happy and I don t want to shit on their happiness, but at the same time I m about to do it, so sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re sitting on each other s lap." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of like making out a little bit like not fully but like kind of and it was just a little inappropriate to me i was like this is not the right time for that you re gonna go home and you re gonna like have sex like just wait or like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sit next to each other and hold hands, but like sitting on each other and like kind of making out in front of everyone in a well-lit room." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s a little weird, and I think it makes people uncomfortable, and I just don t think it s the vibe in 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we re leaving that in the past." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see part of me is actually hesitant to say this because I actually kind of love watching a super affectionate couple, even if it makes me kind of cringe, I kind of love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I m in line at a coffee shop or I m in line at the grocery store and there s a couple in front of me and they grab each other s ass or something or" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know put their hand on each other s butt or something and like kind of squeezing a little bit it s so cringe it s like please don t do that like why are you doing that that s really like don t wait just wait but then i m also like can t take my eyes off it i m like i m so intriguing i i can t stop watching or if i see like a couple making out in the middle of a party in front of everyone part of me is a little uncomfortable and part of me is like come on you guys like save it" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, save it or like go in a corner, you know, but then part of me is like, I can t take my eyes off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m being a little bit too rigid about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m being close minded about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s something I need to work on myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m being too judgmental." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m inflicting my own beliefs on other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Extreme PDA." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Speaking of that, number 14, hookup culture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was in for the last few years, you know, being on the dating apps simply to hook up with people, going out, just wanting to hook up with people, a societal fear of commitment, like everyone collectively being afraid of commitment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like that s out actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this year people are going to be looking for someone serious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think hookup culture has its benefits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the idea that you can be single, but yet you can still enjoy sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I totally get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think a lot of people do want a partner in crime." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "deep down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not everyone, okay, not everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s always going to be people who prefer just hooking up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not judging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that in mass, people are going to be looking for more serious relationships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re going to be using the dating apps and putting in their little description, I m looking for something serious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I see that happening and I see intense hookup culture sort of dying out a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it might be out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually saw some people say that in their ins and outs list." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, I d been thinking that too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think it might be out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, for me, it s always sort of an out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve tried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve tried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve tried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve tried to enjoy like a random hookup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really have tried." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m such a relationship girl." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so maybe I m biased, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m biased." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s happening in our culture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe not though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 15, playing hard to get." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so done with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so done with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Games, playing games and relationships are out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s time to say to the person you like, I like you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s time to shower people with love and affection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s time to respond to your crush the second that they text you, not wait four hours to make them think you re busy all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so done with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you feel like you have to do that, chances are the person that you re talking to is not good for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve learned that recently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you feel like you need to manipulate them into being excited about you by being a challenge, I genuinely don t think they re good for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I played that game a lot in my life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been great at it, but I ve definitely tried it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve definitely toyed around with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve personally made the decision that I m done, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that, again, as a collective, we re all sick of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all sick of the games." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so fun to really like someone and them really like you and to just lean into it full throttle, just to gush for each other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to be present for each other and to be vulnerable and put it all out on the table." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think finding somebody that you re able to do that with is rare, but it s worth the hunt because I think that those are the relationships that are going to last longer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you feel comfortable and safe to do that, then you ve found somebody who likes you just as much as you like them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times we end up playing games because either one, we don t feel like the other person likes us as much as we like them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we re playing hard to get in a way to match their level of effort or to make them more obsessed with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or we play hard to get because we personally are insecure and we re like, oh my God, I don t feel like I can" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fully show how much I care, blah, blah, blah, because I don t feel like I m worthy of love and appreciation and reciprocation of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think games are going to be out because I think it s time to find that confidence within ourselves to do it, but then also to not entertain people who don t match our level of excitement, to find somebody who you don t want to play games with because you don t have to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just naturally loving and exciting and warm and open and vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 16, waiting in long lines." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently saw on the news that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a Target-Starbucks-Stanley Cup collab." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this bright pink cup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what I m talking about, just look up Target-Starbucks-Stanley Cup and you ll see what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were people waiting outside of Target for eight hours to get this cup, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And everyone was in a line." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was intense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I actually appreciate people being excited about things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t want to shit on people being excited." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I more want to shit on waiting in line." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Waiting in line for that just to potentially not even get the cup, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if that s a good use of your time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also understand the novelty of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m sort of on the fence with this, but I think in general, waiting in line, I just think it s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another good example of this would be, let s say there are two really great coffee shops in your town, and one of them always has a really long line and the other one doesn t, but both of them are really good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only difference is the ambiance in one of them is better than the other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the other one s more trendy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the one with the long line is like the hot spot, whereas the other one is maybe a little bit less Instagrammable, a little bit less aesthetically pleasing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s maybe a little bit more homey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the crowd that goes to that coffee shop is a little bit different than the type of crowd that you tend to surround yourself with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s in to go to the underrated coffee shop and not have to wait in the line." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like another good example, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On New Year s, I was in New York City and there are all these parties with long lines and all these bars with long lines because those were the hotspots to go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what my friends and I did?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We went to this horrible, horrible dive bar." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one was there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, every time we wanted to get a drink, it was like, okay, just walk up to the bar." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t even have to wait." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ended up having more fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ended up having more fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so tempting to go to the popular spot and to wait in that line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so glad we didn t because we would have gotten in there and we would have ended up getting disappointed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the other thing about a long line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re waiting in a long line for something, it s because you have an expectation and you re so much more likely to be disappointed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you aren t waiting in a long line, you have no expectation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, this is easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m just going to be happy with what I get." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think long lines are out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 17, quantity over quality." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Buying one really nice shirt instead of five shitty ones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting one really nice bottle of wine instead of ordering 10 shitty cocktails over the course of the night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "10 cocktails is a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say this, okay, getting one nice bottle of wine instead of ordering five tequila shots over the course of the night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, quality over quantity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One good friend instead of five mediocre ones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One good romantic interest instead of 10 mediocre ones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the mindset for 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us by default feel like more is better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, with shopping, for example, buying clothes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I d rather have five different shirts than one shirt because now I can make more outfits." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but one really good shirt can be styled a bazillion different ways, and it s enjoyable to wear, it s comfortable, and it lasts forever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Five shitty shirts, you get sick of them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They start falling apart." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not as comfortable because they re not made beautifully, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "10 mediocre romantic interests." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "will leave you feeling more lonely and more sad than one really promising romantic interest." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One really nice bottle of wine is a novelty." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God, that s my word of the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "W-O-T-D, word of the day, novelty." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that word today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always do this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always get a word that I can t stop using." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few words right now that I can t stop using." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Novelty, apparently," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Indulgent, can t stop saying it, such a good word." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh wow, such a good word." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Indulgent, novelty, and that might be it right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The word prior to those two was phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t stop saying phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was really heavily in the rotation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kind of glad to see it go though, to be honest, because it was sort of, not pretentious, but it was just," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of pretentious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I was always saying it tongue-in-cheek," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like being like, wow, this food is phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just like, Emma, shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not funny, no one s laughing, and it s just cringe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I couldn t help it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t help it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Quantity over quality is out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 18, spinach artichoke dip." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we not order that for the table?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can that just be taken off of every menu?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know a lot of you are gonna be mad at me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of you are gonna say, Emma, spinach artichoke dip is delicious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why don t you give it more of a chance?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s gross." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there was no spinach and no artichoke in it and it was just like a cheesy sort of dip, great, I would eat it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need the spinach in it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need the artichoke in it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like slimy and gross." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I see it on a menu, I m like, why?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I find it to be disgusting and I think it s out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s going to be exiting the popular restaurants menus soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s just going to be out soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m fucking stoked to see it go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so stoked to see it go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that gets ordered for the table, I m not going to have a bite of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same with tartare." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m a vegetarian, so I wouldn t eat it anyway, but even if I wasn t, I would be so grossed out by it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Steak tartare, tuna tartare, mashed up raw meat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, sorry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t want to yuck someone s yum." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think Tartare is going out anytime soon, but ew." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 19, movies with old stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like all the movies that I ve been seeing coming out recently are old stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, for example, celebrity biopics, Marilyn Monroe movie, Elvis movie, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate it, but it s also like, what about something new?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about something fresh?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re remaking a lot of the Disney movies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, what about a new story?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would be so fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s because it doesn t perform as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, like new stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they ve made so many Exorcist movies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the same story over and over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel like in Hollywood, they just keep doing remakes or retelling old stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just feels redundant and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it s not exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I love a new story." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not to say that new stories aren t being made in film all the time, because I think they are." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel like what gets the most press, what gets the most attention, retold stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Old stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it doesn t feel very fresh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, maybe I m like being too harsh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe this is a really terrible opinion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d love to see new stories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d love to see those new stories blow up and go full mainstream." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just find it to be not very exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, that s just me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no disrespect to the directors making them, no disrespect to the actors who are in them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I get why it s happening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, because it s reliable, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you make a new movie about something that s already succeeded, chances are it s gonna succeed again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a safe option." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no risk there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And obviously these big companies are putting a lot of money into these movies." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They want them to do well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a safe bet to just retell an old story that already did well before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, for writers of movies, it s hard, really hard, to write a good story." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when you re just writing from scratch, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s a lot easier to start with this plentiful base of either an old story, slightly redone, or maybe you re making a sequel, so it s like a sequel to a movie that already exists, there s so much to pull from, or it s a biopic" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where it s like, okay, this is about a public figure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of information here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s just retelling a story that already exists." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easier." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think nowadays it s all about speed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, you know, if you re in the film industry, it s like, you need to be putting out as many films as possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes so much time to write a new story that it s not as cost effective for writers to focus on coming up with a new story." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes more sense to," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have a head start and to redo an old story." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I just think it s so sad because I think new stories are so much more exciting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not inspired to watch a remake or a sequel or a biopic even." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Biopics, I think, can be interesting if they re told in a new way or they re showing a new perspective." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think biopics next to all the remakes, next to all the sequels," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s just, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 20, being late." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we all just leave 15 minutes earlier than we think we need to?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can we all trick ourselves and write on our schedule for the day?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Leave at this time, which is 15 minutes earlier than you think you need to leave." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, let s say you need to leave at 9.30 to be there right on time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Put on your calendar to leave at 9.15 for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so sick of being late." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate being late for things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t happen a lot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it stresses me out so bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it makes me anxious and it s not worth it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done being late and I think we should all be done being late." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think being late is out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think planning ahead so that you re not stressed out and you can be a little early is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "21, becoming invested in stupid celebrity drama." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all, almost, okay, not all of us, but almost all of us love stupid celebrity drama." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there was so much drama at the Golden Globes Awards." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always drama with, you know, celebrities getting divorced." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always drama with celebrities having a falling out, like if they re friends before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so, so intriguing, and it s so interesting, and it s so hard to look away." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we are wasting so much time on this, like keeping up with the drama, because it s kind of time consuming." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to know what s going on, you have to be involved." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to be checking in on it on a day-to-day basis." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not hard to do because your algorithm" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is probably feeding you all the info." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve wasted so much time paying attention to celebrity drama, celebrity divorce, celebrity falling out, celebrity in rehab, like shit that is none of my business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, it s none of my business." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then number two, it s not benefiting me in any way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s useless information." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think I m done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m done paying attention to it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of us should." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think all of us are kind of getting sick of it too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being like, why does this matter?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not benefiting anyone at all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t making me smarter." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t making me happier." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s junk information." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think becoming invested in it is out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this next one I m on the fence about, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to elaborate because there s a lot of nuance here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So please allow me to indulge in this, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really get into it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 22, Coachella." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hear me out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that it s starting to lose its cultural significance, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For so long, it was like such a big deal what everyone was wearing to Coachella." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the hot destination to go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like almost a national holiday." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody was looking." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How s everyone s Coachella performances?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How s everyone s Coachella outfits?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s eyes were on Coachella." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s already started to fade." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think in 2024, it s going to reach a new level of being out of the zeitgeist, but not in a bad way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s where the nuance of it all comes in, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coachella will always be successful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always going to be one of the main music festivals, if not the main music festival in the United States." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not going to change." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think its cultural significance is going to be one-fiftieth of what it was in 2014 to 2018." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the world is not going to be looking at it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually think that s good because I think that that s going to make the festival more enjoyable." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are really going to be going for the music, for the experience." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be less about what everyone s wearing and more about just enjoying being there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that is going to be actually great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be less about the optics of it all and more about just being there and enjoying it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s going to be more enjoyable for the attendees and more enjoyable for the people who used to watch through the screen." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I know before I went to Coachella, I had such bad FOMO about it for some reason." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I always had horrific FOMO about it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to be there so bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what a relief it is to remove a FOMO event from society." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last thing we need to feel is FOMO, because it s not actually a rational feeling most of the time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not really that fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not actually that great." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not as great as it looks on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I actually think this is a positive thing for Coachella and for society, for us to just stop putting it on this pedestal, you know, and to make it just what it is, a fun music festival for people to go to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I m going to go this year." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been really trying to decide." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coachella is like a part of my being for some reason." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It goes against my personality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like I scream Coachella girl, but for some reason, I have looked forward to it so deeply ever since I was a teenager and I started going." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved it, but I was like, maybe this year I ll take a year off." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, probably not." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll probably end up there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we ll see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m definitely not gonna put any effort into my outfits if I do go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s no effort." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is no effort this year if I do go." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a white tank top." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s jeans." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, 23." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Checking bags at the airport." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm-mm." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have been using exclusively a carry-on for almost a year now, if not over a year actually, and it has changed my life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will travel for weeks and weeks and only live out of a carry-on." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all you need to do to do that is just to pack a bunch of versatile pieces that all match each other." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and do laundry while you re traveling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might need to head to the laundromat." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some hotels have laundry service." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might need to use that, but it s so worth it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so worth it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes traveling so quick, so easy." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You never have to worry about losing your luggage." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It elevates the experience in a way that I can t even begin to express, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, a one-off trip where you re like going to the Bahamas for three weeks, okay," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, maybe check a bag maybe, but it s like you don t need to." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so nice to travel light." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes the whole day so much easier." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think checking bags is out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 26, working from bed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love working in bed, and I work from home, so I can do almost all my work in bed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of my work is me doing things on my computer." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me editing a YouTube video." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me doing emails." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me doing Zoom calls." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me writing podcast outlines." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me doing research about things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me writing down a bunch of different ideas, like conceptualizing things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of it can happen in bed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not everyone has that sort of situation, so this might not apply to everyone, but I think too much time in bed is so bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m hopeful that 2024 is all about working at a desk, not spending too much time in bed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, it s so out to compare yourself to people that you see on social media." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done doing it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we should all be done doing it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know better now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know better now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that it s not an accurate depiction of reality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that we re all becoming vividly aware of it enough to soon just stop doing it altogether, almost." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not altogether, it s not possible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do, because I think we all know better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all too good for that shit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all too smart." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need to stop." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the beginning, it was hard because we took everything at face value and we didn t know any better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nowadays, come on." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know better." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know about Facetune." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know about how everything is just the highlight reel." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s time to set that free and to stop doing that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we want to be competitive with other people, if we want to sort of compare ourselves to others in a way that s" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whatever, at least do it in person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even then, we shouldn t, but still." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s terrible to compare in a way that s constructive." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the way that we grow and improve ourselves is by comparing ourselves to other people and seeing what they do versus what we do and becoming better as a result." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on social media, it s almost never useful because it s not realistic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re comparing ourselves to something unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re going to do that, I think it s best to do that in person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think online comparing, fuck it, it s over." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s over." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, it s over." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re done with it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are my 2024 ins and outs." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please let me know what you think." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Instagram for Anything Goes is at anythinggoes and you can let me know what you think there." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you all hanging out and spending time with me today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means the absolute world to me and we always have fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just love you for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love us for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stream anywhere, you listen to podcasts, watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My Instagram is at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go follow me there if you want to keep up with me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My coffee company is called Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have delicious coffee, canned lattes, matcha, all the beverages, hot chocolate, chai, all the fun beverages that you love ordering at a cafe, you can make them at home with Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m doing an infomercial." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go to ChamberlainCoffee.com, order online, or see if we re in a store near you using the store locator." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all she wrote, people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all she wrote." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I love and appreciate all of you very deeply, and I will talk to you very soon." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, I m providing you with a treat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today, we re going to be talking to my very own father, Michael Chamberlain, also known as Chamberlain Paintings on Instagram, also known as CP by close friends and family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s long overdue for me to talk to my dad because I don t think I would have a podcast without my dad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s very similar to what it sounds like when I m talking to my dad on the phone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, similar topics, similar" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "opinions, similar ideas, similar hypotheses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Moral of the story is, it s long overdue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And he only has one kid, and it s me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I am a full-time job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But he s also an oil painter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He creates YouTube videos." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s also a musician, singer, songwriter, musician." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s one of the most creative people I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "easily the wisest person I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you re gonna love him more than you love me and want him to take over the podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s gonna be fucking heartbreaking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody s gonna be like, oh my God, Emma, give the podcast to your dad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And honestly, he deserves it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s shaking his head off camera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s like, I don t fucking want that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So here is a conversation with my wonderful, wonderful dad, Michael Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what do you wanna know about me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know everything about you, so it s easy for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think in some ways, well, yeah, but yeah, okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, not to age you at all, but- Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m actually proud of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not to totally expose you, but a lot has happened in your life thus far." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so many nooks and crannies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like I m always finding out something new about your life and various" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "know, just like phases that you ve had, etc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you think is the most important for strangers to know about you?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have to say like, you know, growing up in New Jersey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So living in New Jersey till I was 14 and moving to California, like" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the summer after eighth grade." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do like that I grew up back there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that growing up back East, it makes me appreciate the West Coast more in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m so grateful for the weather and the beauty and that sort of thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, but there s a lot I love about the East Coast as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I do feel like that s a big thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I was like, I think another thing, even though I m like, I ve always been a creative person, like I never stood out creatively." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I always took art art classes and I always took" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was interested in stuff like that, but it s not like, I think, you know, even though I m a painter for a living now, I think most of my teachers, if they were told at the time, oh yeah, by the way, that kid, he s going to be a professional painter someday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They d be like, what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was always like the art star kids in class, the kids who stood out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was never one of those kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I just love to make things and do things creatively." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think I really necessarily stood out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went to San Diego State for two years, really enjoyed that, but then left early to play music, moved to San Francisco." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there, once I started playing music and playing in bands, then I started meeting other musicians." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I lived in the city." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, I m burping." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s all right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m used to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you burp more than me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do I?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Louder and louder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so natural that I don t even notice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody asked me, I d be like, I don t think I ever burp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know when somebody sneezes and they make it super loud and you re like, that just didn t need to be that loud?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You do that with burps." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You burp so fucking big." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For theatrics?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I must ve got that from my mom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it all goes back to grandma then." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I m doing it now too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m burping with my chest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know why it is?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when I hang around with you, I drink sparkly water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it s your fault, because that s what I said." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But anyway, yeah, so- You moved to San Francisco to do music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why don t you set that scene for everyone?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I moved back into the house that I grew up in, in Foster City, but my parents were not there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They both lived in separate places." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I lived in this house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was 19." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My brother Kevin was 18 and my brother James was like, he was like 15." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all lived in the house by ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I turned the garage into a, like we went and got like insulation and whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My brother Kevin, you know, Uncle Kevin is a drummer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I know my Uncle Kevin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know Uncle Kevin?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I know Kevin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kevin was like, you know, he dropped out of school after a year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We were both back home at the same time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Frat vibes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, do you want to play drums?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, or, or I started playing bass at that point and singing, and then we brought in guitar players." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we were kind of a trio." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we played for, just played in San Francisco and like recorded songs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I played in a couple of other bands after that until I was about 30." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I getting ahead of myself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause I, my next question was, did you want this to be your job?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you went into starting this band and you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you took the risk to leave school?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Were you like, I want to be a musician." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to get signed with a label." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like this is what s happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Was that the vibe in the beginning?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, these thoughts were happening at college." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I could not see myself as being, you know, sort of working in an office kind of thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not again, not that there s anything wrong with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just wasn t like, I felt like I ve always been a creative person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always loved music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it would be so ideal if I could actually make a living, you know, with music." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at that point, the only way to do it was to be like a rock star or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the channels to do that, like the ways to do that at that point were pretty limited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was basically how to get a record deal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, spoiler alert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You didn t get the record deal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s either you didn t want a record deal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "or nobody gave you a record deal?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or those are two very different sort of outcomes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m curious what happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the first thing that happened was like, that did turn me off was that somebody in the industry came and saw us and was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really like these songs and like you re singing, but like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you, you know, consider adding another guitar or doing whatever?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was sort of really resistant to having any kind of pressure to change in any kind of way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my feeling and they were actually cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, you know, I want to work on it with the guys that I m working with, because being that Kevin s my brother and I was like, I just we want to work on this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were like, OK, well, they were going to be patient." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that kind of thing where I started thinking," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, having to make changes or putting pressure on us to change." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started, we did, we, cause then in the practices, we started trying to conform to what it was, which I don t even remember what the, what the things they were talking about then were, but it already started to creep in and, and, and that caused like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, pressure or it changed the vibe of the band too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wasn t experienced enough not to let that happen because I, you know, um, but it was all a great experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, and then part, part of that was, and then I started playing in other bands and, and with older guys that had actually done touring and had record deals and that sort of thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hearing the stories, it didn t sound glamorous at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then, so at the age of 30, I, I pretty much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop playing in rock bands, you know or like, you know, but I still kept playing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds like music Before you know, you left college and you started the band with a" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "my uncle Kevin and some other dudes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Before that point, music was a hobby for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You just enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it was like, okay, wait, maybe this is my job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then it went back to just being a hobby again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what, you know, the other thing too is I think that when you re 19 years old and you re looking at like, I m going to have to support myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I gotta, I think that there was so much, like I was so," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was really afraid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s normal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think about that now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought about, how am I going to make a living?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no sort of business thing that attracted me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a terrifying time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just thought, this is it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got to go for this because this is something I love and whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a way," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that as a painter now, I m going to paint for a living and I have for 10 years now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something I ve had to kind of wrestle with there as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you do something that you love creatively, but then you start doing it for a living, you have to make sure that the job portion of it doesn t take over and kill the joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that it s a delicate balance to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like in some ways when I had my bills paid," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "by something else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was working for DHL as a courier in San Francisco and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though I didn t make a ton of money, I didn t make that much, but I was frugal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at least all my basics were covered." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just felt like I can just be creative for fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s much more enjoyable not to have that pressure to sell it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I do think that if the money comes as a result of just you doing what you naturally do," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then that s a gift and that s great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think with a lot of creative kids and a lot of creative people, I mean, the reason you start is not to like become famous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, maybe with some kids, you know, but I think most of them, like most of the kids I know are most of the people now that are either young people that I paint with or older people or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of all the same." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They started out as a way to," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it just calmed them down or it made them, it just was their sort of, you know, like their happy place or their, it gave them joy to make things and be creative." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and I think that is where it started." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that that s something that I had to sort out as well, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, so for me to be creative," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, it was like, I can t give that up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to have that as my, that s what makes me happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s more important than anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, so yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to have another income, um, that takes some of that pressure off is really is, is, is allows you to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I would recommend that most people expect someone who." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "goes into art as a profession to be like a child prodigy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s definitely not your situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how long had you been painting before you were like, well, maybe" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Maybe this is my job now because this is kind of my only option." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started painting in 2003." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I remember it was even before I painted, like I was 38 years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t have any art experience at all, except for what I had, like, say, in school, just that I would take art classes because I liked it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started painting at the age of 38, 2003, and then I was like, okay, I m not ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I worked for another, I think it was six years, maybe more than that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it was like 2013 when I quit my quit everything and just was painting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, you know, the underlying theme, I feel like of your career is, and this is so rare is that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every career move you ve made has been about your happiness and your well-being." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve never made a career choice based on money, which is interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like we re all so programmed to be like, we just need to make as much of it as fucking possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you are the complete opposite." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You find your fulfillment" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "so genuinely in creative endeavors and living a good life that the way that you make money is so secondary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s just such a rare point of view." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I think that, you know, I did think about that a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I left school, I read a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I was not a good student." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of the books I read, I don t know, there was a lot of philosophy in there about making life choices and things like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the thing that I really wanted was, I valued freedom more than... It seems like there s a trade-off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, you can have a lot of money or... Now, it s possible to have both, a lot of money and freedom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And obviously, having money can make you free." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re... In my case, I just felt like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m frugal and careful, then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m getting fulfilled by these up by the freedom and the things that I have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, like, uh, and I did a lot of stuff like you, I don t know if you remember when you re little, like I taught sailing for seven years, you know, and there was a little money there, but not much, but what an experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I learned so much through that whole thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, uh, you know, obviously music and painting and all these things and all the social interactions and friends that are associated with those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made it so that life was satisfying and rich in that regard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you probably remember, it was kind of a fun challenge when you were little to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, let s go on a cafe crawl." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, today s budget, three bucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, we would go to San Francisco and he d be like, okay, so picture this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it was under five." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, yeah, under five." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He d be like, we re going to go have a total day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s going to be totally fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we re spending five dollars, so when we go to the cafe," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we re gonna say, can we just grab a bottle of water?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or can we just have a glass of water?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, because you weren t even drinking coffee then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, so I d like get a glass of water." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like you d get like a black coffee and I d get like a glass of water and we d be like, yes, in this fancy cafe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we had fun and it was totally great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those habits still, they still kind of exist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, most everything I do doesn t cost very much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a trade off and it s a choice you have to make, you know, like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, I mean, it s," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it s not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think that s what I m realizing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s a dark side to it too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m gonna be honest about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were several times in the process where I thought... In the process of what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of this journey as being a professional painter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were times where I thought," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what am I, like where I d run out of money or come really close." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, my philosophy with money was always like, if I have a buffer in my account, I don t even look at my account." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then there s this gut feeling like, I think I need to look, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I d be like, oh, how bad is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one time I looked in there," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was really bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What was it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like $1.67." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this was not that long ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t sleep like the whole night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just like in a panic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought, what am I gonna do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s when I- How old was I?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "15, 14, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": null, "text": "13?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were literally already a YouTuber." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not that long ago." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you remember, actually, do you remember when you came up, there s a video where you come up, surprising my dad on his birthday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Child, I was broke, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I knew this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, because you came up and you were like, so what I did was, I mean, maybe some of the people have seen the video, so here s what happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the days before that, I was like, what am I going to do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I thought I ll throw my own show and I ll like make postcards, your own art show, my own art show." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I asked Grammy Pat, I was like, can I, can I use your house?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m going to put hors d oeuvres and I m going to send out invites and invite people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve got to sell some paintings or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And grandpa Bob was really helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He like took a stack of the postcards, you know, he s like, Oh, I ll, I ll hand them out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he did, he handed out cards and he s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, he s so social and everything, talks to everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I sold like $4,000 worth of paintings and I m like, I m back in the game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those times where I was like against the wall, kind of like that, were so good for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But arguably self-inflicted, it s fascinating because, you know, it s like you could have gone and gotten another job, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you didn t, like you hit $1 and you said," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Instead of saying, like, I need to go get another job that s more stable because all creative industries are completely, completely unstable and you never know what next month is going to look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just fascinating that you threw another show instead of going and getting another job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you consider that behavior reckless or would you consider that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "intuitive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I guess it s entrepreneurial maybe, you know, because it really is like if you re going to be, and I think too, if you re going to be successful as a creative person, you have to be as creative about how you make your money as you are with your art." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s where like YouTube came in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I was interested in YouTube." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve been making YouTube videos since YouTube came out, but it was different because you were making music." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but it was it wasn t until we started talking right before you started your channel, but I was thinking the same thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I want to do something with art, but I don t know what." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had already made a few videos where I just sat and talked to the camera about like mixing colors or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember, but I I didn t really have any." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I didn t know what I wanted to do with it or how that could end up being something that could actually bring in some additional money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So my intention when I started like a sort of painting related thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was more like marketing for your art." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just didn t even know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just thought, ah, this seems like, you know, my feeling is if you re a painter or you re a music, if you re a, if nobody knows" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "you exist, you re selling nothing, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I m like, all right, I know how to upload things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I you know, but what do I want to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that s when you wanted to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You were thinking about YouTube and that s why I was, you know, you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was sort of thinking about YouTube, but you were like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, you need to do you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, first of all, I already had seen your some your edits, like your fun edits for that you were wearing your." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I don t know if you my little my little still at your Finsta edits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t explain this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, anyway, the bottom line is I saw some of your fun edits that you would do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you ve talked about this before that you did with your classmates and stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I used to edit fun videos with my friends and just for myself and for my friends and my dad loved them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Oh, and then you did your vibe video phase." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You had your vibe videos." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I can t remember." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But those were good too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was like, damn." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to make my friends and I used to make these." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "videos that would be like slow-mo of us like vaping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the point I wanted to make though is like some of them- They were honestly a vibe every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, but those were like, those were well done and those were cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the ones I liked, so you had two sort of creative, or you had two sort of video approaches." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One was the vibe video, which was like maybe trying, like it was kind of cool, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was totally indie sleaze." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it was like trying to be cool and everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "wearing my Lululemon leggings, like trying to be like so fucking like cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And but the thing about those is the edits on those were good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like I could see I was like, wow, the timing was good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And the music." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was like, OK, it s a vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "These are like my videos." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But the other ones that I liked that were just were just you being a goof." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like friends goofing around and like zooming in on the funny shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And just like I just remember one where you guys were in the gymnasium at high school and like, oh, this is so great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And you had like, I think you set up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were bowling with chairs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, but what did you set up as bowling pins?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so basically what happened was we put a bunch of chairs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Set up as bowling pins." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Set up as bowling pins." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there was this like rolling thing that it was like a flat like rolling device that they were using to like transport something into the gymnasium." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then we basically, we would take turns sitting on that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "rolling device and we push each other into the, it was like bowling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what happens when you go to Catholic all girls school and you can t flirt with boys." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to fucking play human bowling cause you re so bored." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I remember, I remember watching it and I was like, yeah, somebody, you guys are laughing and somebody would get on, you know, it s in a gymnasium so it s got that nice like" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "slick floor or that smooth floor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "One of you would get in there and the others would just push with all your might just, and the thing would just crash into the chairs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, this is insane." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like hilarious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s Catholic all girls school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I remember like watching those and I just thought there was other, yeah, other videos you did too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But in any case, to get back to it, like I was like, Oh, these are so, so I thought, you know, when you were expressing interest about doing YouTube or whatever, I thought," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Go for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then at the same time, cause I remember I was thinking, yeah, I ve been thinking I want to do something art related on YouTube." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then that s when we started saying, I was like, send me some videos that you like and I ll do the same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And that was when I found like discovered vlogging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I hadn t even looked at watching." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wasn t like, I would always go and watch music, but then I started seeing that people were like vlogging." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I thought, Oh, what if I did something like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Vlog related about painting where you go out and you sort of record the experience of painting on location because I m doing it already Sort of incorporate that and so then that s that became my YouTube thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, we both kind of simultaneously became youtubers, you know So the thing that I think is really interesting is that So you were 17 when you moved to LA?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I knew people who are musicians who moved to LA to me, the thought of moving to LA by myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Now, obviously just so that we don t, that your mom and I don t seem like negligent parents or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "We were going to be like, all right, we ll take turns being down there to make sure that you re okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I remember you called me and you said, I m moving to LA and you can t say no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But my question is," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Did you have any fear about moving to LA?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it s like, it s six hours away at best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the car." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, it s like almost 400 miles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From where I grew up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "From the Bay Area, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So it s quite a ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it was a combination of a few things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think number one, I was aloof to, you know, moving to this big city as a 17 year old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what the dangers of that even are, I think I was aloof to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I do think that I was running on adrenaline and it s like, wait, hold on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just spent the last year of my life not in school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All my peers are in school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, not socializing with kids my age very much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only time I get to is when I m interacting with my peers who are also, you know, in this industry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like, wait a minute, this is my ticket to being a social being again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like I want to be around people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was starting to get recognized by fellow YouTubers at the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that was so exhilarating to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, all these people I d been watching on YouTube forever are now like, we watch you on YouTube." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, that is, I can t handle that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to move now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I don t care about being famous, but the thing that really put the fire under my ass to succeed at it was to be friends with these people that I watched." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s almost like that motivated me more than anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wasn t," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like super fangirl about it, but it was more like, oh, I genuinely think that these would be good friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we also have a common hobby in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, how..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "special would it be to have friends who have the same passion as I do for creating a video?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s so cool to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I wanted that so bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That is the one thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think when you called me, you were expecting me to push back on that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought it was great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I thought you need to go because of that very reason that you were doing this thing, you had committed to it, and there s no one in the Bay Area that was doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Or maybe they were, but there were other" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, people down here that were doing that sort of thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So to me is like, yes, go for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And but when I thought about it, it still impressed me like, wow, she s like 17 and she s just going for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But and you re right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, I think I thought about this, too, when I when I first came down to visit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You re not somebody who s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "moving to LA to get into the industry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You were already in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it was almost like overdue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was like overdue that you got down here where other people were doing things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And cause immediately you hit the ground running when you came down here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it was automatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did have things to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it was like somewhat easy for me to make friends because at that point I was, I was peers with these kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What was clear to me, because I came, what did I come down, I came down with you, like your mom and I would take turns, but even before you moved down, we came down with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I remember you were just, you had constant things going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was nonstop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I don t even think you expected that, that first time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a lot, there was almost too much going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember losing focus easily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it was like, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were so many kids that were like, you need to come out and do this with us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to come out and do this with us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to come out and do this with us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it became hard to balance that social life with like, wait a minute, I still have to do what I came here to do though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will say, I got lucky that, yeah, I think I lost my footing quite a few times throughout the journey, but I never lost my footing to a point where it was," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Irreversible, it was unfixable, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think naturally, when you come and do your career when your brain is not fully developed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you re just due to, my brain still isn t probably fully developed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I mean, that s what I was saying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "For fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You have to make, part of any, I mean, that s part of the journey is like making mistakes and learning what works, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "As long as it s not dangerous, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I know, I really, I stayed out of danger." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I just think it still took courage to come down here, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See, for me, it was like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was just like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was like, holy shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, and the other thing I was gonna say too is, this is another thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "that I observe is that and you can tell me your take on this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But when it came to all of this, it wasn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I never felt like money and fame was something you were, that was not the point of you with YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "YouTube for you was almost like, and correct me if I m wrong, but you saw videos or you saw things where you re like, that s cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s always been hard for me to figure out what I was even trying to do with YouTube." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was all so intuitive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, I m just," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m obsessed with doing this, but I don t know why." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like with YouTube, it s not obviously creative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not obviously creative." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I did not understand, like, what, why do I, like, why does this creatively fulfill me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And up until recently, I was kind of unsure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "is making a YouTube video a creative thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I, it totally makes sense to me now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think number one, it s the art of entertainment, like creating something that will entertain somebody for a period of time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think number two, it s sort of the art of creating something so seamless" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that when you re watching it, you re there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the editing of it all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I say something?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is beautiful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost think" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for whatever reason, this whole thing is so intuitive to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t even explain it, but I can t, I, I, I have thought about this a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what you re trying to articulate is I think, here s my thought." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can tell me if I m right with any kind of art." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t care if it s music or painting or making a video or making a movie or whatever, what you re trying to do is create an alternate" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "world or reality for a person to disappear into." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if the mechanics of that are obvious, then it breaks the spell and you re out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re like listening to a song and all of a sudden you hear like the beat is like completely off or the voice goes off or this or that, it can be a lyric, anything to break the spell, you re out of that, that world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so what you naturally had in a video is the same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to create something where" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the person disappears into that world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s real, but it s seen through your eyes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The music you create, down to a tenth of a second of an edit or a cut makes a difference on how the flow and the feel." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something I noticed very early on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, because it s musical in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like that ability to where you can get lost in your edits and you go for that ride and your edits have changed as you ve changed the way you present and you know how you create your videos, but it s all still you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it seems to be very natural." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the key thing I think with all good art is it takes you disappear into it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you don t see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s why I think a lot of times the good stuff, it almost seems like it just exists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could say like people might say, oh, like Emma, you know, this is I ve seen your I ve seen your timelines." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve seen you work and and." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a gifted editor, period." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and so like and you keep getting better, you know, and so" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just going to start bringing guests on to gas me up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what hey, I mean, that s what dads are for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, the reality is that s the truth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like it s clear when you re talking about these things that you re it is such an instinct for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the key thing is, is that that that is so important because." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You almost have to get out of your own way when you re creating effectively." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like the, the flow state where you are creating is when you re in that moment where you re entertaining yourself almost." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it starts there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gotta be in that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best stuff comes when you re like, you re in that state where you re creating something and you re not thinking necessarily about, Oh, how s anybody going to watch?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, how s this going to come off or whatever?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you re, that s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to lose the, exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to lose the flow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s why you really have to enjoy it doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think this industry is fascinating to me because, you know, and this is not to insult anyone at all, but I think a lot of people want to be, they want the end result, which is being famous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then they choose a creative outlet that they re like, well, this, this one maybe is my favorite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going to try to do this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It, the unfortunate thing about it is that I really don t think it can be forced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I, I went, Oh, go on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, no, I mean, I was going to say, cause that s, that s such a good point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the point I want to make about that is you re right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a couple options." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I ve noticed is there s the flow state where something comes from something authentic and it has vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has uniqueness that is as unique as you are as a person when you re channeling that part." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve noticed with any kind of art, music, et cetera, there is another way that s easier psychologically." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I ll just say this style and technique." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you like, so you can, there are so many tools we have now and even, I mean you can rely on," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fluff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like all style, no substance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s really what, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly, and I m almost the other way, like the stuff I like is almost the opposite, where the substance is good and the style and the other stuff is played way down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, that s kind of why, when it comes to like everything I do, I would say across the board, I am really diehard about" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "using the bare minimum equipment, having like the lowest quality, this, well, the setup that we re using right now for the podcast is gorgeous and nice, but when I m at home, it s much more basic, but it s not too fancy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think there s two reasons for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number one, because it s just easier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can waste so much time" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "making sure your super fancy camera is all charged up and in focus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, fuck that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, let s just use the easiest equipment possible so that we can just go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, let s just go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s number one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s just like for ease." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause then you can be much more spontaneous and whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then I also think, you know, being able to make something that I, that is good and effective in my eyes with," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "non-fancy equipment, it forces me to create the substance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not getting lost in the sauce trying to make it look super crisp, super perfect, super whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the reality is, nobody cares." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It makes no difference." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really doesn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what s fascinating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to say, okay, and I ve been thinking about that a lot lately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the idea of writing a song and recording it on my phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it doesn t work like that, then it s not working." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s so true because I said, you know, I was like, if you put Paul McCartney or Elvis Presley in front of your phone and they sang a song or anyone, if it s good, it s good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think that one of the challenges we have now is like technologically speaking, we have so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I even do this with painting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve cut down my colors to like minimum colors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll paint a painting with one brush only." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of the things that can happen to us nowadays is that, like you say, we can get lost in the sauce or we can get distracted by things that we may think are important or necessary and they re not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I had another question I wanted to ask you regarding the pressure to stay in that state or the flow creative state where you re making something for yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does happen easily, like say in a video, like making something when you have so many people, you know, that so many people are going to watch that video." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so trying to get into a place where that doesn t get into your head while you re making videos." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know, obviously, we ve talked about this and there s times where it does or it s hard to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what have you found that s been helpful to to to maintain that flow state in creating, even though there s you know that you have such a big audience?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like a level of like detachment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, almost a level of denial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I ve tricked myself into" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "kind of forgetting that part." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I ve, unintentionally, so I can t really explain how I did it, but when I m making the video, I am sort of making it for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so much work to make the video." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which sounds ridiculous, I m so embarrassed to say that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s not, it s work if you re not doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re doing it for yourself, it s not work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, no, let me actually, let me elaborate." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just so time consuming, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, there s many more time consuming things on this planet, but you know, my videos take 20 hours to edit, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You won t make it through." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You won t finish editing unless you re doing it for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because it s a very tedious project." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like I can t even finish it if I m not doing it for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that explains the, I don t know, probably 50 videos that have never gone out because it s just like, I couldn t, I was in my, I wasn t in flow with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t finish it if I don t get into that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I can only get into the flow if I m making it for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m like, this is for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am excited." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like so excited for the end result that I, you know, I need to keep going, whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that seems like that s what brought you back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "too recently was that just needing to return to that creative outlet that was made you happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I think the reason why I was off of it for so long was not because like editing the video wasn t getting me into flow state, because I definitely think I was actually able to get there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t the editing that was a problem for a long time, but rather." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t want to be on camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so that was the challenge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If I were to have been given a video of somebody else to edit, and I was excited about that video, I would have been able to get into the flow state and be excited about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like, I don t wanna be on camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t wanna look at myself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t wanna talk on camera." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And those are two separate things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what s interesting about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like there are two," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "key variables when it comes to making a video." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, number one, I need to be in a space where my energy is just good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My energy just needs to be good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I need to have things that I want to say." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I need to be an energy that somebody wants to be around." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then also, I need to be making a video that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m excited to edit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it s those two variables." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I found that now I m excited about making videos because it has nothing to do with money." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, I m not doing brand deals anymore on my YouTube." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My YouTube is now my playground completely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve removed all industry from it completely." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, there are moments when it s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I work with Levi s, I m wearing a pair of Levi s in this video anyway, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s shove it, let s throw it in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s like, the industry is completely removed from it for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s an absolute privilege." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so grateful that I m able to do that, you know, from a financial standpoint now where, you know, I don t have to make money from YouTube anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So now, that just can be fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just, it s back to being my little playground." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I really think that s what s so wild about it is it s like, I, YouTube became my job." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inevitably that," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "that challenged my relationship with YouTube." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I struggled with it up until now, where it s just fun now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think I ever was, I don t know if I can ever have that as a job and still enjoy it as a hobby." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t, but also did you feel, did you feel like this is something that I felt when I was younger, that if I let go, like any of the creative things that I was doing, if I, I had to hold onto them, if like, if I took a break, I felt like I d lose it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was always nervous during breaks." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I, what I ve found as I ve gotten older is that breaks are essential because if you re not growing as a human being, your art isn t going to grow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have nothing to pull from." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you go like, so I find that the best way creatively for me is to do a push when I m feeling it, you know, when I m like, all right, it s I m ready." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do a big push and then take a break and do, you know, and not feel bad about it and not feel, um," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know when I hit that wall, when I m like, okay, I m done, I can t, it s not, it starts taking a toll on me emotionally or whatever, or I ve been, and I just feel like, okay, I m ready." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the thing that in the past is I felt like I couldn t let it go." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I did, if I, if I stopped, then I d actually lose what I had." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reality is every time, every time I came back after a break," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even with something like painting, I, there was times where I just, for whatever reason, I was working on music and I didn t paint for two months and I come back and I ve grown and doing other things and engaging in other things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s ridiculous, but all of those have helped." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I first started surfing, I didn t do anything else for like months, no music, no." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and even that," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "changed my approach to music and art." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, it s all of it s interlinked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re, if you re just doing your art over and you re going to run out, like you need life, you need it life to bring into what you do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, but the point is, is that living life gives you, it fuels your creativity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s why I think, you know, the ultimate goal when you re in a creative industry at all is like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "get to a point, you know, where, where you can set things up from the get go to a point where you have space, you need to give yourself space." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that was the thing that was so challenging about, well, I mean, I I ve been on some sort of weekly calendar since I started, whether it was with YouTube or it s with podcasts, you know, and," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s definitely, that s, it s challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think now I m at a point where I know how to create space so that I can go live, you know, but it can be really easy to sort of just get on a hamster wheel and not be able to get off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, you know, but you end up running yourself into the ground and you ve absolutely, but you also stunt your growth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also the other thing I was going to say is in, during those breaks where you are getting that fulfillment, that s also like the way I look at it, that s input mode right there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when I m listening to tons of music and." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or looking at a bunch of art and it s like priming the pump and also living, you know, whatever, whatever I m doing, whether it s hanging with friends or whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, for me, I kind of ping pong between these different things, but yeah, those breaks away from it are like input mode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that that s really my input mode is so different." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like my input mode is like." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "OK, a few things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number one, being very social." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who s dating who?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who s fighting with who?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Who s going out tonight?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like being a normal 22-year-old who just is fucking in this drama and in the thick of it, it s like that gives me so much to talk about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That gives me so much to talk about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That gives me," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I mean, it s also just fulfilling, weirdly enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know, but that s sort of my info about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you touched on another really key thing that for me, for a while, was I kind of neglected, and now it s the most important thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being social?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people, whether it s your family or whatever, but friends, having good friends is, I couldn t even, and that s something I learned when I first started painting full-time, I was just by myself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I kind of, when I was working as a courier, I saw a ton of people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when I was, you know, when I was doing construction, same, there s this constant interaction and that was almost enough for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then when I went to full-time painting," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not good, because I didn t have any interaction." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it took several years, but now I realize people is the most important thing, period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I agree." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I completely agree." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having good relationships with friends who are, and you got to choose your friends carefully, because if you re a creative person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, not even just your friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s fucking everyone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s your friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s who you work with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s who you date." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s all of it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to be around." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be around people that are excited." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "excited about just the reason you came here to LA." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re around other people that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "let s go for it, let s do this or whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what you want to be around." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And sadly, there are people that are not in that space, you know, that, that, and you have to be careful around them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, you know, you know that I ve like, okay, you can t get into any sort of flow state when you re around somebody who s just shutting down that energy, like getting into any sort of creative flow state requires this sort of, this sort of free flowing sense of," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your personality out into the outside world." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to just be able to let yourself be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when somebody s around you and they just dull that, and I mean, you ve seen this happen to me throughout my career where there s a bad apple and I can t fucking do anything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m out of a job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, what I would say, one thing I have noticed that I ve actually learned from you this way is that, and again, you run on instinct, but if you sense that, they re out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have been out, whereas me, I would be more polite and I would let that mess me up, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but you know I ve let it mess me up." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, I know, but you are better about that person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I ve gotten way better about that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And part of it is just that I have, for whatever reason, I think when you re putting out a positive" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, thing or whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If your vibe is positive, you start, you just attract other people like that as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I can easily make that choice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just not going to hang out with somebody who has that sort of oppressive, you know, cause it is so detrimental to, if you re a person who," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "A big part of their joy is the excitement about making things and creating things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to be careful not to be around somebody who s going to dampen that because it s going to bum you out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It goes for even people who aren t creative." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oftentimes, though, the trick is that sometimes it s just a feeling." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just don t feel good" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "After I am around this person or something and then you and then you and a lot of times you ll You ll even question yourself and you ll be like, is it me or whatever?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then that s why it s helpful to have a friend who s like, no, it s not you You know, that s what you do for me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s like it s so it s a tricky thing because it if you re brought down and" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re criticized, you might buy into that mindset." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, no, that is not reality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s their reality." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is not what we re after." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is fascinating how you start to see." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "reality through like I realized this more recently how The people that you re around you see things through their lens." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like when you re alone That is when you re seeing things truly through your own lens." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no bias There s no you like something because you like something when I listen to a song alone." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a completely different experience to listening to a song with somebody else." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like today I showed you a song and I was like, this shit is so fucking good and I showed it to you and I was like, oh my God, wait, this is actually kind of bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I didn t, because I started to listen to it through your, I was listening to it through your ear." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I felt- Or no, you were listening through what you thought maybe my ear would be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sure, sure, but- Yeah, but that s the thing, is because, and I, same thing, same thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s why you have to be around people though." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When you share something with somebody, you re like, oh wait, I know, because you re second guessing, that s right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more than that, it s also that being around somebody else, you re seeing things through their lens, and maybe some people don t do that, like that might just be a personal thing to me, or a personality trait I have, but like when I m with somebody, I am then seeing the world through their eyes," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for the duration of the time that we re together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, people that you re really close to have to have a really solid lens that they re viewing the world through." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if not, then you d start taking their lens with you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, if they re... If they see things in a way that is shitty, negative, bad, then that starts to become your default." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s gonna drag you down for sure." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think you re exactly right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s something that, like I said, I ve become more aware of." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think for you it s like instinct." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s easier for me because at the end of the day, I m happiest when my core people are good, which is, that s excluding," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "those who come and go, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you and my mom and like, that s the core, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even like, if me and you and my mom and the few other little core people are there, and I m in a really exciting, inspired, motivated place career-wise," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All is good." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if there s a bad apple, guess what happens?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I can t get work done, which literally, you know this?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking freak out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking freak out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, why is it not going?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I have nothing to talk about?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I have nothing?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cannot make anything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t say anything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do anything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Freak out." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Crisis mode." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone batting down the hatches." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then as a result of that, now I m bringing that terrible energy to the core people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You and my mom and Ali and all the core people suffer now because I m a mess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then my relationship with you suffers." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then now I have nothing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My relationship is suffering with my core people because I m a mess." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my work is suffering, all because of that one bad apple." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Isn t it interesting how that one little ripple can have this effect?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I haven t even thought of it in that terms." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just think" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s why it s so easy for me to be like, holy shit." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me, it s life or death because I need those foundational pieces of my life to be intact." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if that, I m so hyper aware of, but see, there s been moments in my past where there s been a bad apple and I know that this apple is bad, but I let it fucking go for too long because I m like, I don t want to let go of this person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my God, have we paid the price for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why it s so important." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In every type of relationship, across the board, platonic, romantic, business, it doesn t matter, all relationships kind of need to be taken slow." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to take every type of relationship slow, and it s so hard to do that, because in every type of relationship, again, you can be like, oh my God," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we just click and you can start skipping steps." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This happens in friendships too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I know that most people are probably thinking of romantic relationships, but I m actually thinking about friendships as well." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you meet a, you know, a fun person at" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a bar and you re like, oh my God, we just click." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like bestie vibes, whatever." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, okay, we re going to like go on a trip together." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to go on a girl s trip." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s like, no, you don t know that person well enough." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s, and the problem with that is that s when you get yourself into a relationship where you find out later that they re so, so bad for you, but you got, you, you skipped steps and now you re so far ahead that you can t then pull back and create that distance that s safe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too late." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That sounds like almost something like you re going into a friendship or a relationship with sort of a set of preconceived ideas of who the person is as opposed to letting it evolve naturally in a way where you re seeing them really for who they are, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that it is hard because I think, yeah, I think it s, uh," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s tough to do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do think, especially in romantic relationships, people start creating all kinds of scenarios about who that person is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nobody s perfect." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, that s like the three month thing is just, you know, just be friends with somebody for like three months." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most of them might make three weeks and you re like, Oh God, thank God I dodged that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, but some, if you re getting up to three months and you re still like, wow, this person is really cool, you know, then you re on to something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then push it another three months." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad s a big fan of dying." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the rush?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is the freaking rush?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I honestly feel like that s the magic time." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is the most fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so wonderful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so cool." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think there is no rush in it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Allow somebody to be who they are and it ll" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll come out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will come out, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s kind of interesting to see how soon that comes out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How long can they keep up the charade?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what s so crazy is I m just thinking about- And we all do it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m just thinking about all the times in my life when I ve come to you and been like, I am obsessed with a guy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve seen that?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, moral of the story is I m like mortified thinking about through your lens how often I m like, no, wait a minute, this is the one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, wait, hold on, this one." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait a minute, back it up, that one, out, this one, in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s like- Yeah, but I don t know, because I don t see it that way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t look and go, oh, she s so cringe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I did that, oh my God." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God, how did I raise such a cringy daughter?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She is the worst." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, it s more just like, it s more, that s just normal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially when you re younger, it s really normal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It comes with experience where you re like, okay, I kind of rushed into that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or the girl who cried wolf." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like the girl who cried wolf with like, it s also like an anxious thing too." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when you re anxious, you re like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to move fast to secure this thing, whatever that is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what the rush comes from a lot of times, or a lot of times the rush is, I have a void in me and this is going to solve my problem." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you re like, and then that s when the wheels start spinning and you re, you know, creating these, this illusion." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in a state of, of kind of satisfaction and happiness, I think then, then you can look at almost everything around you with, with no expectations." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you see, you see things more clearly and you make better decisions." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think the moral of that story is." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you re, if you find a way to be fulfilled and happy personally," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then you re not going to be looking for, whether it s business opportunities or this or a relationship or this or that, to solve that problem." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you end up rushing in and making bad decisions." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is the ultimate challenge in life to reach that state." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to be honest, you re one of the only people I ve ever met in my entire life who have successfully done that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, but I mean, it s just" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not happening by this age, I mean, it s a lot of years of doing exactly that and learning from the process, you know, of having that experience and saying, oh, you know, I need to slow down and just understand that a lot of the decisions I made were to fill some kind of void." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think you do anything to fill voids anymore." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And think part of that is, you know, part of it is, is the lack of expectation of anything anymore." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think part of that comes with being a dad." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that was huge." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like having a child, and I do feel honestly like I don t need to do anything else, you know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I take up a lot of your time calling you scream crying about something." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not so much lately." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, I m kind of good right now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When do you think it got really good recently?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would say... Because it was pretty dark for a minute for me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but I would say overall, I d say overall since the beginning of this whole adventure or whatever," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, what whole journey?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like my career?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I think, well, no, no, but what I m, well, I know, I know, but what I m saying is, is that I ve noticed this gradual progression where it s gotten better and better and better, but I d say like where, where it s been really good." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The last few months have been fire." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last, but, but also I d say like the last, even the last," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, the last couple of years have been better." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then now it s, it just continuing to get better and better is what I m seeing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there was a time there was like hard, it was tough, you know, it was difficult." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause, and, but now like you re sobbing because it was what?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t, you know, part of it was learning about this whole situation." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like I was about to say, what I was going to say is where do you get the information?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you do this?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized you have to just trust your heart through this whole process." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, and then talking to your mom and same thing, I felt like in a way you re just sort of alone in this." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I feel like both of us have kind of gotten to, all of us, all three of us, have sort of come back to just being normal people." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just feels just very normal now." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, I feel like I m not calling you as much with- No, it s more to share stuff." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Can I be honest?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I actually think I ve really figured out how to self-soothe." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "have figured out how I can, I don t know, all of the unfortunate feelings are now familiar." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I can, I know what they feel like, I know that they re gonna go away." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I also have various little mantras that I have stored in the back of my head for when a thought comes up." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when I m getting really anxious about" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, like how I feel overexposed and stuff, for example, like I feel so exposed." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think the hardest thing for me is like just being, it s just that I think this job, you know, exacerbates various mental health issues I already have." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like being an anxious and depressed person, I think it just, it can," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mainly with anxiety for me though, it just really, it really sends me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s, but again, those things I m figuring out how to." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think we re all challenged by those things, myself included." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think anybody is not, there s a whole new set of challenges that we have today." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even if you re not in the industry." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still wrestling with this digital reality that we re dealing with." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that I have like, that s more like the root of mine." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "at times can be more challenging to express, I think, because they re just very unusual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that the feeling is ultimately the same." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And again, but we both are so in support of the internet as well, where it s like, for sure, we, you know, it can enhance life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think if you re a creative person, it s awesome." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just trying to figure out." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s about consuming the right stuff when you are online and also making sure that you have a life outside of it as well." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s tough." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tough." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I agree." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is important." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an important distinction that you made, which is that I do still, I m so thankful that as a creative person, being able to have YouTube and Patreon and Instagram as an artist, it s essential." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s super helpful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it is this thing where I have to constantly remind myself not to get too sucked into it and to appreciate the three-dimensional." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s why it s so important to have a goal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to create something that has a positive impact in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like that s why that s crucial." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s because it s like, you know, you don t want to build a career online in a way that is adding to the junk pile." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Which is easy to do and can actually be quite fruitful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s a valuable thing just to create a little quiet place somewhere for people to visit." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that s enough." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is enough." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hopefully we created a quiet place for the listeners today." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think it was very quiet." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we re good." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you feel like we covered it?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I love it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope I delivered." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You definitely did." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"" ]
11,846
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apparently, all the cool kids have been discussing what they think is going to be in in 2024 and what they think is going to be out in 2024, what they think is going to be hot in 2024, what they think is going to be not in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the conversation happening on the internet right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And normally, I m late to these conversations because I don t have a TikTok." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Normally, I find out about these conversations three months late through Instagram Reels and in really dark times, YouTube Shorts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not this time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not this time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This time, the conversation made its way to Instagram Reels and YouTube Shorts a little bit early." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma gets to participate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma gets to participate in the trendy conversation that s happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so exciting for her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so excited that I m going to make a two-part series." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, a two-part series about what I think is going to be in and what I think is going to be out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a rare occasion that I m on time to these conversations that I have to take advantage of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to enjoy this experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so in this episode, I m going to share what I think is going to be in, in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And next week, I m going to share what I think is going to be out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stay tuned for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But today we re going to be discussing what is going to be in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is in?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let me be clear, I m not talking about what s going to be in, in any particular category, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just what I think is going to be in broadly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can disagree with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I love when you disagree with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this is just what my gut is telling me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just what my intuition has told me, and I can t fight that voice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry, I just can t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s begin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, being unapologetically choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of you probably know what choogy means, but for the few of you that don t, choogy is a slang adjective mocking someone or something as uncool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are out of touch with current trends or trying too hard to be trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Similar slang terms are basic or normie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, a lot of us want to be cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say it s been a priority for me in the past to be cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s even still a priority for me now, but I m ready to go back to being a little chew-gear." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little more basic, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sick of everything having to be perfectly aesthetic, and vintage, and retro, and artsy, and tastefully done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t live like that 100% of the time, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we want to go to Bath & Body Works and buy a fucking candle that has terrible packaging, that smells delicious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that chuggy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, that s chuggy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But do I have a Bath & Body Works candle lit right now that smells like sugar cookies?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it making me happy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it completely throw off the aesthetic of my room?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it ruins it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But fuck it, because the candle smells good and it makes me happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like my Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, Stanley Cups are considered choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what a Stanley Cup is, Google it, look at the photo, and you ll say, oh yeah, I know what that is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the big stainless steel cup with the handle on it that has a straw coming out the top." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve seen it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people think that this cup is chuggy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone has one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I fucking love my Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love my Stanley Cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It keeps me hydrated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I buy a new color of a Stanley Cup, I m happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It brings me joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something I use every single day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that fucking cup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me correct myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love those cups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have three of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I use all of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of them goes in the dishwasher pulling out the other one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of them breaks or I leave it somewhere." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a third one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Stanley Cup is amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care that it s choogy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to own it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ugg boots?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been wearing them for the last few years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love Ugg boots." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they choogy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, Ugg boots kind of became trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, Ugg boots really became trendy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not even choogy anymore, I m realizing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well, ignore that example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get the idea, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s so obsessed with being cool these days that they don t get to enjoy choogy shit anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think, as a collective, as a society, we should all come together and be okay with being choogy again, just a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have to be choogy across the board, just choogy in little ways that make us happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in, it s in for 2024, mark my words." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, the five second rule with food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of foods that I eat that are perfect for the five second rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I love grabbing a little handful of almonds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, do I love that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love pouring myself a little bowl of popcorn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Want to know what these two foods have in common?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They always end up on the floor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, every single time I drop a piece of popcorn or an almond on the floor, I ask myself, is it okay for me to eat this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And almost every time I decide, yes, it is okay for me to eat this, and I eat it off the floor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I don t recommend the five second rule across the board in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "okay if you drop a wet food like you know a piece of pizza with wet cheese on it or i don t know like ice cream on the floor yeah don t pick it up and eat it okay don t do that because it s like picking shit up right but like something a bit drier something a bit airier like a piece of popcorn or a chip or an almond you know what i m saying you can eat that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I must also be clear about where you drop the food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re walking around the streets of New York and you drop a piece of popcorn, my God, let that thing go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let that thing go, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re sitting on public transportation and you drop an almond, my God, kick that under the seat, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use common sense here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have common sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know when the five-second rule applies and when it doesn t, but I know that there are a lot of us out there that don t utilize the five-second rule when it s meant to be utilized." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I m at home and I drop an almond on the floor, for fuck s sake, you know, I m not wearing my shoes in the house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can eat that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually do wear my shoes in the house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Damn, sometimes, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shit, I m probably eating dog poop when I drop an almond on the floor and then it picks up a piece of dog poop from my shoe and then I m eating it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you get what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we can utilize the five second rule more often than we are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re all gonna be fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just be smart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use common sense with the five-second rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, let me clarify." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me summarize." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s in is using the five-second rule with food with common sense, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t have common sense, then you shouldn t use the five-second rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you do, you should be using the five-second rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just don t forget that it s there and don t be ashamed of it either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like sometimes I eat a snack in my bed, especially popcorn." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really in a popcorn phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll eat popcorn in my bed and I ll get a few pieces of popcorn in my bed and I won t notice until like the next day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m eating that shit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, I m eating that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of a version of the five second rule in a way because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your bed is so clean that it becomes like the 48-hour rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the floor, it s the five-second rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In your bed or something or on a chair, 48-hour to a week rule." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can still eat it, in my opinion, in my humble opinion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think there s anything wrong with it, as long as you re using common sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I like the rush that it gives you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives you a little rush, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can disagree with me on that one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three, high quality entertainment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve talked about this quite a bit because I am so dedicated to this concept of consuming high quality entertainment to improve your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not to be corny, but we are what we consume." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I notice that very vividly in my own life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m watching a lot of toxic shit, like I m watching shitty videos about celebrity drama or" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m watching shopping hauls of people buying like $40,000 worth of designer clothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, when I m watching shit like that, I feel my brain rotting, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel my brain rotting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, don t get me wrong, that type of stuff is fun every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s realistic to cut all of that out, but, oh no, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is realistic, actually, and that is a goal that I m going to set for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to consume that type of content at all, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t benefit me in any way, shape, or form." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feed my brain in a way that s positive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watching well-done movies" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "well-done documentaries, listening to educational or inspirational podcasts, making creative mood boards on Pinterest, watching interesting or wholesome or educational YouTube videos, all put your brain in a better place." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m all about good entertainment, good quality, high quality entertainment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve noticed in myself, it lowers my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It teaches me things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me feel more inspired on a day-to-day basis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It changes my whole mindset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "High quality entertainment is in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Low quality entertainment, gossip, drama, overindulgence, you know, like people flexing their wealth or whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things that are artistic and beautiful and wholesome and educational and interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In, in, in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also noticed that that type of content is less addicting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much easier to just enjoy a little bit of it and then go back to what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that type of content makes you feel inspired and excited about your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then you re stoked to get back to your life when you re done eating your lunch and watching your little YouTube video." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re scrolling on TikTok, you feel weirdly doomed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you don t want to do anything after that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "High quality entertainment is in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In addition to that, reading." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reading is in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number four, reading." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love reading a good fucking book." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m so not disciplined about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so bad about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this year, I m making it a priority." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to read at least a book a month." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not going to happen, but I m going to set that goal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if I read one book every two months, I ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m reading, I ve noticed I m so much less anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My vocabulary improves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my attention span improves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it forces me to slow down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s just great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also a great thing to do before bed, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of scrolling on your phone, scrolling on your computer, watching TV, read a little book for fuck s sake." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reading is in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gonna take discipline from all of us, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard because there s so many easy sources of entertainment all around us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But reading has got to be in this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to go back to reading." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all need it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all rotting our brains." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to read this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so good about reading like a year and a half ago, two years ago, and then I just fell off the horse completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it, I m back and I want it to last for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reading is in in 2024 and beyond." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, number five, badminton." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, in 2023, it was all about pickleball." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure if you heard about that craze, but I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you, I never played pickleball." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still, actually, maybe I did once with my little cousin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t remember." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if I did, my little cousin, this specific little cousin is like eight." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if we did play pickleball together, she s not, she wasn t playing it properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it didn t count." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s no shade to her." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love her, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did I play pickleball?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never participated in that trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all the rage these days." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think badminton s better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think badminton is better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Badminton is so unbelievably underrated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve never played badminton, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a racket and you have this little thing called a birdie that s this ball with a" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a ball that has feathers coming out of it almost." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s very lightweight and you just hit it back and forth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so much fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s barely any learning curve." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can be good at badminton almost immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like tennis where there s all this technique." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I even think pickleball probably requires some technique." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Badminton doesn t require a lot of technique." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be good at it in an hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could figure it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s good when it comes to little activities, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us have jobs, have shit that we have to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have time to learn how to play tennis, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something like badminton inspires us to go outside and play like kids again, and my God, do we need that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, we need that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, number six, letting your hair grow out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2023, everyone was cutting their hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody was getting a haircut." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone was cutting their hair short, dyeing it various colors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we re healing our hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going back to our natural color." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re growing it out long just to see what it feels like again, because my God, haven t we all forgot?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Natural hair is back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t in for a while there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was all about doing something eye-catching with the hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a blonde bob for a while." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did an orange bob for a while." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a super dark brown shag, which was not an intentional haircut." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was kind of an accidental haircut, but regardless, I did that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m ready to grow my hair out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m ready to just be natural again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hair was so damaged, and it was so short, and yeah, you know, having long, natural hair is maybe less fashion forward." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t give a fuck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going back to all natural, okay, with the hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might not be in for everyone, but I m telling you it s in for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it ll be in for a lot of us, not for all of us, but there s been so many damaging hair trends over the last few years that I think everyone s ready to just go back to natural hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number seven, fresh herbs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hear me out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine this, you cook yourself a little pasta, nothing special." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you boil some pasta, mix it up with some pesto from the grocery store with some tomato sauce from the grocery store pre-made, add a little sprinkling of Parmesan cheese, that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But imagine you go and grab a fresh piece of basil, cut that thing up and sprinkle it on top." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s a whole new dish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a whole new dish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine you re roasting some potatoes and you throw in some fresh rosemary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s a whole new dish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Potatoes without rosemary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s pretty good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Potatoes with rosemary, fresh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine you re making a salad dressing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, wow, this is kind of, it s lacking something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You add a little fresh dill." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making a bagel with the works, you know, the cream cheese, the lox, the capers, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Throw some dill on there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fresh herbs." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now listen, buying fresh herbs is so frustrating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, going to the store and buying a little box of fresh herbs, annoying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They die immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wilt immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can buy a little basil plant, a little dill plant, a little mint plant, a little rosemary plant, and have your own little herb garden for cheap." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it keeps growing more and more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, the plants will die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The plants will ultimately die." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will tell you that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not completely foolproof, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell you how many basil plants I ve had die on me, but it doesn t even matter because it s fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this amazing thing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be growing a plant is so special." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels so special." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel maternal in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel nurturing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel responsible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re keeping this thing alive, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to do a little bit of research to figure out how to keep the thing alive, and that s satisfying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To research something and then to execute, wow, that s satisfying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but you really get to reap the rewards when you make a little pasta dish and you throw a little bit of fresh basil on that thing, or you make a little pizza in the oven." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s pizza night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s at home pizza night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You throw a little basil on top." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s delicious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You make a little fresh mint tea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh God, that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making little spring rolls, you throw some basil and some mint in there, and some cilantro, maybe you throw some cilantro in there, wow, that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making a bagel with the works, you re able to throw some dill on top, wow, that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making some potatoes, wow, throwing in some rosemary, all from my garden, wow, that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to have a big garden, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gardening for the average person, and it s satisfying in all ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unrealistic for all of us to start a garden, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a small little garden in my backyard, and let me tell you, it s a mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s dead." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too much work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not only that, but it doesn t produce enough produce for it to be worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a strawberry plant and a tomato plant, and I m not getting a lot out of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get maybe 20 strawberries in total in the summer, which is a quantity of strawberries that I would normally eat in about 45 seconds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I might get 50 cherry tomatoes during the summer, but I end up getting to a lot of them too late." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not all done at the same time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve had a hard time with my garden, except for with the herbs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The herbs, they re thriving, and I always have enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number eight, random weekend road trip." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We need to be going on random little weekend road trips more often." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Otherwise, we find ourselves in a slump." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so important to change up the scenery every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, when I say a little weekend road trip, I m not saying you need to rent an Airbnb and have this extravagant road trip." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it can be as simple as," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "driving to a friend that lives five hours away and staying at their house for the weekend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be driving home and visiting your family for the weekend if you live a few hours away from your family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be a little camping trip." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it doesn t need to be extravagant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t need to be fancy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there s something about a little weekend road trip that will get your ass back on track." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I get back from a little weekend road trip feeling like a brand new person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s something about splitting up two work weeks with a little change in scenery that gets me back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it can be random, it can be spontaneous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, I d argue it s even better when it s random and it s spontaneous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Call your friends, say, hey, let s go camping." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s go backpacking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Calling your mom and saying, I m driving home this weekend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Random weekend road trip every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think what s especially in about it is that it doesn t need to be extravagant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think a lot of people feel intimidated by the idea of like taking a little weekend trip because they re like, oh, we have, you know, I have to fly somewhere and I have to get an Airbnb or I have to get a hotel, you know, and then not necessarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not necessarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Think outside the box a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s what I m going to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, number nine, being silly and funny in business settings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m so sick of the business facade that everyone puts on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I understand being professional and being respectful and being somewhat elevated for that environment, but I feel like the norm right now is too sterile and too boring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, there s no room to burp during a meeting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s no room to make a little silly joke during a meeting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sick of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve been trying to disrupt the stiff business setting ever since I joined the business setting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m in a meeting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to make a joke." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m going to make a joke." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so stale." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Otherwise, someone has to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know what I ve noticed too?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The second that somebody makes a joke in a business setting, everyone becomes disarmed and the environment becomes so much more productive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At the end of the day, what is everyone doing in a business setting?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re trying to make money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re trying to succeed in some way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s so much easier to work together and succeed when everybody feels disarmed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everybody feels comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nothing does that better than a little bit of humor." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I really believe that the business facade is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Being silly in business settings is in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Stop with the, how was your New Year s?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it was good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mine was good, too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was in Sedona, Arizona with my family, and my granddaughter just got into college, and she s very excited." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Shut the fuck up and make a joke or something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, make a joke already." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do something funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is why I should... I m only partly kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number 10, re-wearing outfits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The whole always having a new outfit on social media, always having a new outfit for every event is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not a sustainable way to live your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all have shit to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re not all equipped to have a new outfit for every event, every wedding, every" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "meeting, every date, you know, every night out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And listen, some people do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They always have a new outfit ready to rumble." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, if you re somebody who really enjoys always wearing a new outfit every single time you leave the house, listen, don t let me stop you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think from a societal standpoint, it s out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Outfit re-wearing is in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I made this decision recently that I want to buy the perfect dress, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The perfect dress that s understated, simple, and gorgeous, and I want to wear it to every single wedding I get invited to for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I only want to wear one dress to other people s weddings for the rest of my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For my wedding, fuck it, I might wear that one too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t even care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There are certain things that come with the societal pressure of having a new outfit every time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m sick of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Weddings?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m re-wearing the dress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Going out to dinner?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll wear the same outfit twice, two nights in a row, if I m seeing a different group of people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s say one night I m going out with my friends, and then the next night I m going out with a boy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The boy wasn t there the night before, and my friends aren t there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And also, they wouldn t care anyway, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m wearing the same outfit twice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s such a weird stigma around outfit repeating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Outfit repeating is cool now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s hot and it s in 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "11, asking for extra sauce on the side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t tell you how often I purchase food from an establishment and it comes with some sort of sauce or dressing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and it s simply not enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just not enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For example, whenever I get a salad, I always ask for an extra side of dressing because a lot of times it ll be underdressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, sometimes it s perfectly dressed and that s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I d argue three out of five times, not enough sauce." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love sauce." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My favorite part about the salad is the dressing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What does the dressing taste like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My favorite part about ordering a french fry is what sauce I get to dip it in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it a Dijon aioli?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it a spicy aioli?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s it going to be today?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s my favorite part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I get a bowl at a restaurant, some sort of vegetarian bowl," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Whatever sauce they put on it is the highlight for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when there s not enough sauce, I m bummed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m bummed and my food is dry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I like a lot of sauce." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think a lot of us do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you want to know what s in for 2024?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Asking for another side of sauce right out the gate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now, some of you might be saying, Emma, that s wasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s wasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not necessarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I could always ask for the sauce to go and then eat it with something the next day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll make that sauce." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hey, I ll put that sauce to work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t worry about that part." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ll put it to work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It won t be wasted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you knew that every extra side of sauce that you ordered would be utilized, would you order it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, and a lot of times they don t even charge you for it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ll just bring it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Fuck it, it s in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Number 12, getting a random massage every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I thoroughly believe that we all need a massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You, me, everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone needs a massage at all times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t matter what your job is, how often you exercise, because obviously, if you exercise, you get tight, sore muscles, and you need a massage even more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it doesn t matter who you are or what your lifestyle is like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone needs a massage for one reason or another." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you sit a lot at your job, your lower back s hurting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you exercise a lot, you have muscle soreness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you stand on your feet a lot for your job, you need a foot massage and a back massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone needs a massage and you can find some really great spots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like every town has a massage place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve popped into some random places for a massage before and I ve almost never been disappointed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Actually, I was disappointed one time when I went to this massage chain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was like a chain type of place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I won t say who it is because I m about to give them a bad review and I don t think that this is a reflection of their business." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I went in to get a massage and I booked it super last minute because I had the epiphany, I need a massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it was probably like the second massage I got that year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t get massages enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to get them more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s why I think that they re going to be in this year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Not only for me though, for all of us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think we all need to be getting more massages this year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I had this sort of intrusive thought." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was like, I need a massage right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I called a few places and nobody had any availability except for this one massage chain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they had a slot open." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I was like, great, I ll take it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I show up and the masseuse is a dude." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, Annie s like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "kind of close to my age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, okay, like, it s just awkward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you know, we re all adults, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was a little awkward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, you re literally 25, maybe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re about to massage my gluteus." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not my idea of a relaxing Thursday evening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it s weird a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t help but wonder, like, are you into this a little bit?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, sorry, but you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t help but wonder that, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To make a long story short, he ended up talking to me about his Subaru that he s fixing up himself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and his ex-girlfriend the whole time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted a relaxing massage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, he was not having that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He needed to tell me about his Subaru, and he needed to tell me about his ex-girlfriend, and he needed to tell me that I m much nicer than his ex-girlfriend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He did make sure to let me know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was a nice compliment, but I had a horrible time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still tipped well, but I really was upset." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I shouldn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, so that was the only bad massage experience I ve had." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other than that, it s been amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like every hole in the wall you find, random massage, it s probably gonna be good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But before you confirm, just ask if the masseuse is 25 and has a Subaru." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if the answer s yes, then say, do you have another massage therapist, please?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "13." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Politely speaking up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many of us don t speak up enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re at a restaurant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They bring out the wrong thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We get nervous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to send it back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we re speaking up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This just happened to me the other day, and actually I didn t speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I should have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the rest of 2024, I m going to speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was getting my nails done at the salon and I wanted to get a dark brown, almost like a dark roast coffee bean." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like very dark, almost black, dark brown nail." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I picked out what I thought was that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It turned out to be more of a milk chocolate color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like imagine, my nails right now look like chocolate almonds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They look delicious, but this is not the color that I wanted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She painted a swatch of it on my finger and showed it to me and she s like, what do you think?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, fuck, I hate it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I didn t speak up for some reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I regret it and my nails look horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate this color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not what I wanted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I didn t speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh-uh." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we re speaking up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody says something rude to you, speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Politely, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about the delivery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just be polite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing to be afraid of as long as you re being polite." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody can get mad at you if you politely speak up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "14." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hanging out at a cafe for like three hours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I miss this vibe and I think it s so in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need more of this vibe and I think it s going to be in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bringing a book, bringing a journal, bringing some work to a coffee shop, sitting and hanging out for like three hours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe some friends that you know pop by, they sit with you for a little while." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "vice versa." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need more of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More community happening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something so inspiring about getting out of your house and going and hanging out at a cafe for like three hours." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes you want to work harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can sometimes be distracting, I will say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can sometimes be distracting, but it can also sometimes get you to focus because like you have more distractions in some ways and then you have less distractions in some ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I used to work in a cafe every single day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d drive 15 minutes from my hometown to go to this little cafe every day and I d edit my YouTube videos and I would do emails even though I was like 16 and didn t even know how to read an email." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like I was doing it though or I was trying and it was kind of amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I started to become friends with the baristas at the coffee shop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to see other regulars there on a consistent basis, and I sort of became friendly with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we re lacking that in-person community element of life, and we need that back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need that back now more than ever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, it s in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "15, having a sweet treat after dinner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been somebody who wanted dessert after dinner until recently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so in, it s so in to have a sweet treat after dinner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A sweet treat after dinner?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm-mm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how I ever lived without it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "16, becoming friends with somebody before you date them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, that s in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wanna know why that s in?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think that is one of the most promising things you can do to build a long-term relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want shit to last, that foundation of friendship has got to be there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this whole immediate romance is out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people might disagree with me, and that s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being friends first, it s amazing in every way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad has always told me this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, Emma, you need to be friends with these boys before you date them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always been like, okay, thank you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then gone and like immediately like met them and then like kiss them the same day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s horrible because it never works out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It never works out because it just never works out for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know it doesn t work for a lot of other people too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much better to build that foundation of friendship and then add in the romantic element." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very hard to backtrack and build the friendship after you ve already gone romantic mode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why, it s just very challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s possible, but it s very challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I think is good about being friends first is that you get to fully suss them out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I get along with this person?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I click with this person?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I actually enjoy spending time with them?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re not biased based on your sexual chemistry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like let s say you like hook up with somebody immediately," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you guys have a good sexual chemistry, great, that s half the battle, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then you actually don t get along on a friendship level very well, but you are able to sort of ignore that red flag by covering it up with sex, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Becoming friends before you date somebody, that s in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "17, maroon nail polish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dark red, fingers and toes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I ve been obsessed for years, but I ve never been like, oh, that s my signature color on my nails." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m locked in on maroon nail polish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so hot and cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that it falls under the category of the red nail effect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have heard of the red nail effect, which is that red nails help to attract a lover." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether that s true or not, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do feel the hottest when I have a red nail." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like baddie mode for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But bright red doesn t always, it s not always what I want, you know, like a bright apple red." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The dark maroon has that same hot, fun appeal that the bright red has, but it s more neutral, so you can pair it with more stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s my new default color." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the maroon now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sold." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now, oh, my nails." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate my nails right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to go back in and get the maroon, to be honest, because that s just what Emma likes now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "18, onion rings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong, I love ordering a french fry for the table when I m at a restaurant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love a french fry period." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "French fries are delicious, they re amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I recently ordered an onion ring instead and I said, hold on a minute, this is even better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much more of a dynamic experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s fun because it s in a ring." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to rip it in half, dip it into the sauce." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crispy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The onion inside is sweet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s delicious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Onion rings are absolutely delectable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have been just sleeping on the onion rings for years because I m like, a fry is so much better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s classic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it is classic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, it s harder to fuck up a French fry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes an onion ring will get fucked up, but there s always a French fry on the menu." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s almost never an onion ring on the menu." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I see an onion ring on the menu, I say, I m getting that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one is talking about onion rings at all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t heard somebody talk about an onion ring in years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When was the last time you heard someone talk about an onion ring?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when was the last time you thought about an onion ring?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been too long." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, onion rings are in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tater tots too, but those are even more rare to see on a menu." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Onion rings are in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh man, so good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So freaking good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the topic of food, number 19, feta cheese." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feta cheese is in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was all about Parmesan cheese for the last few years, obsessed with Parmesan cheese, wanted Parmesan cheese on everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My love for Parmesan is still present" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but feta cheese might be even better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to say anything controversial right now, but I do think that feta cheese is the cheese of 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about feta cheese that feels so 2024 to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tangy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s delicious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s versatile." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can throw it on a salad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can turn it into like a feta dip." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, feta cheese is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "20, laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now before you say, Emma, what the fuck are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone needs laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, this one is very catered to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everybody needs, wants, or can get laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know this, but for me, laser hair removal is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so done with shaving." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t shave anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so done doing it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a process." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sick and tired." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started getting laser last year at this time and I went for like five sessions and it just wasn t" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "working, like it was working, but I don t think, I don t know, I don t feel like they were going hard enough because the laser never hurt and everybody s like, oh, am I laser supposed to hurt?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, really?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it never has hurt." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t really work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m trying it again this year and I m ready to be hairless." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s my preference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hair is itchy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m stoked." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m stoked to get laser hair removal." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think laser hair removal is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes life so much more convenient." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For those of us who shave, my God, does it make life so much more convenient." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Twenty-one, going on a walk after dinner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love going on a walk after dinner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether I went out to dinner or I ate dinner at home, a little 20-minute walk after dinner helps you digest, gives you a little breath of fresh air after dinner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was home for the holidays, every day after dinner, my dad and I would go on a really long walk and I realized this needs to be a part of my routine as often as possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about eating dinner that makes you overheat." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always get really hot when I m eating and I get full and my stomach hurts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going for a walk helps ease the stomach pain, helps cool me off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything about it is perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "walking after dinner is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "22, orange light bulbs in lamps around the house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need more orange light bulbs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, they just give off the warmest, most delicious light into my house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s like, it changes the whole energy of the house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turning on orange lights, soft warm orange lights, as the sun goes down, you feel like you re in a cozy fairy house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A cozy little mushroom fairy house." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something so cozy about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The coziness is unmatched." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like super fluorescent, bright, white light bulbs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Makes me anxious, overwhelms my eyes, doesn t feel cozy, feels too sterile." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Orange, warm, cozy lighting, that s in for 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number 23, ambient music." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, turning on relaxed, instrumental, ambient music while you re doing your chores, while you re working, while you re reading a book, changes the whole energy of everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like you re the main character in a movie while you re reading your email." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like every movement has purpose when you re putting your dishes away." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about playing relaxing ambient music." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a playlist on Spotify called I m Thinking, period." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what it s called." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has music in this category." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I listen to this music all day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sets such a chill mood." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s better than silence." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s mild enough that it might as well be silence." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not distracting." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I feel like it subconsciously changes my mood, makes me feel a bit more lively, a bit more tuned in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My Spotify is Emma Chamby if you want to find me and find that playlist called I m Thinking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "24, swimming in oceans and lakes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Swimming in natural bodies of water, so in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last year, I did not swim in enough natural bodies of water." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a little bit, but this year, I need to go all in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This summer, all summer, every day, I m in a natural body of water somewhere." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will find it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing like it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s refreshing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It grounds you to the earth, I swear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I sound crazy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sound like a yoga teacher, but it really grounds you to the earth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It grounds you to the earth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It soothes your anxiety in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just puts things into perspective." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about being in a natural body of water that just resets your brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Splashing around in the ocean, splashing around in a lake, what s more fun than that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, doing a little boogie boarding in the ocean," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kayaking around in a lake?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "25, music with good lyrics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now listen, I don t want to shit on any music because to each their own, but I think I m at a place in my life personally where I need my music to speak to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s speaking, then I need it to speak to me and I need it to be smart." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need it to almost be smarter than me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to read the lyrics and be like, wait, I don t get it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I have to like read, read a little harder." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I want to read the lyrics and be like, wow, that s exactly how I think of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s crazy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It read my mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m all about good lyrics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think good lyrics are in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Smart, poetic, good lyrics are in for music 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of cheap, lazy lyrics." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of out for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now listen, I m not saying simple lyrics are bad, but there s a difference between simple and lazy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m done with lazy lyrics, where it s like, come on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know when you re reading lyrics to something and you re like, come on, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Done with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, and last but not least, number 26." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what s in?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Living life for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doing what makes you feel good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Standing up for yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being honest." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Appreciating yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, living life for you is in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to explain that anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You already know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You already knew that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all on that wave." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "2024, we re all on that wave." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can feel it in my bones." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all of my predictions for what s going to be in in 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please share what you think is going to be in in 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can comment on the Anything Goes Instagram at Anything Goes and let me know what you think is going to be in this year." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now stay tuned for next week because I m going to be talking about what is going to be out in 2024." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stay tuned for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so happy that you came to hang out with me today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you had a good time with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you didn t, new episodes still every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just don t have to listen." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain to see what I m up to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re popping up in a lot of grocery stores." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So check our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you and go pick up some Chamberlain coffee or you can order online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not in a store near you, order online or do both." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Order online and go to a store and pick it up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m not going to stop you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love and appreciate you all very, very, very much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will talk to you in a few days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,847
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today we re talking about something that many think is not sexy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, parenting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is something that s particularly interesting to me because I m somebody who wants to have kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to have kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s sort of a goal of mine is to have children and try to make them good people so that they can spread love through the world, you know, for the next generation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, that s inspiring to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ah, snooze fest, yeah, whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, as I m vaguely approaching this time of my life, I m thinking about parenting, I m thinking about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What being a good parent is, I m thinking about how I should be preparing myself to be a parent one day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How can I start now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s why I m so excited to be talking to Dr. Aliza Pressman today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the healthcare providers who care for them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Aliza is also the host of the hit podcast, Raising Good Humans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She has two teenagers, so she s in the thick of it, when it comes to parenting anyway, and her first book is coming out January 2024, and it s called The Five Principles of Parenting, Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Parenting is a topic that you could truly talk about it forever, but we re gonna scratch the surface today and start thinking about parenting, so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I introduce to you, Dr. Pressman." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think parenting comes intuitively?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it just like a human thing to parent?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you think that it s something that in order to be good at, you kind of need to research a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You kind of need to ask, you know, the older and wiser in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m curious how much of it is instinctual and how much of it is learned." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you don t waste time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t waste time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re jumping right in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have thought about this quite a bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I land in two different places." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is, of course," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "some of this is just instinct and it s like our natural way of developing and taking care of our young." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like even if you didn t birth an infant, if you re the person in charge of that infant, like things kick in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But part of the problem is that some of the things that kick in" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are instinct, they just might be leading you down a path that you don t mean to be going on because you go to the place that your childhood experience brings you to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so for some people, instinct is awesome." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for other people, instinct, it s like people that you re attracted to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, does your gut lead you to someone that says, this is safe, but actually safety for you is a memory of an unsafe home?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So is there instinct?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, like one of the biggest predictors of a positive attachment relationship with your child is to have come to terms with your own experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in that relationship in your early years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to be reflective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and so I do think that it s nice to find people that you feel like safe, trusting, that they have, you know, like you just look at them and you just think, you know, and it could be your mother." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be just somebody that you re like, I really like the relationship that you ve developed with your child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell me a little bit about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that didn t really answer your question, but it s a little bit about it did well I also think to you know, what works for one parent is not going to work for the next" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, do you think that the philosophy on parenting is consistent, you know, just in general for raising all kids?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or does one piece of advice not fit all?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure, one piece of advice does not fit all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, like, I think your ears should always perk up if somebody sounds like it s a religion, like, parenting is a religion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve noticed that, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s a red flag." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like any time where you re going to be a robotic parent because you have so much, you know, like here are all the rigid scripts and all the ways that you should be, because of course it s different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s different between kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you have one kid with one temperament." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think there s an overall parenting approach where we have research that suggests there s like one that s a little bit better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s how you" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "interpret it that will be different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are three styles that people look at in the research." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s four." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is neglect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is obviously, we re not, we wouldn t be here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the three styles are authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not like we all fit into exact categories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the way it s looked at is you look at both sensitivity, like the connection, the relationship," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "paying attention to the individual child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the other side of it, which is what s called demandingness, but really you can think of it as like boundaries, limits, control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And authoritative parents are kind of balanced on both fronts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re both sensitive, but they also have really appropriate boundaries, clear limits, like you know what to expect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that gives a sense of safety emotionally and a sense of safety physically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it gives you the freedom to be who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then there is the other side of each extreme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The permissive is super sensitive, loving, delicious, amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So hard to give boundaries and limits because those parents typically feel like so uncomfortable with their children s discomfort from having a limit that they like bend in whatever direction they need to to make them happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in doing so," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this is typical, it s not always, but typically those kids end up more anxious and more unhappy because you can t always be pleased." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, they don t ever rock." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like you don t feel centered in the same way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have a connection, and that s wonderful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other side of it, look at kids whose parents don t give the sensitivity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, it s my way or the highway because I said so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s authoritarian." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those kids tend to just lie to their parents more because the rules are so rigid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that they become, like, great liars." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you know anybody who had really strict... Like, my ex-husband s parents were so strict, and they thought he was so perfect, he was crawling out the fire escape, going out, setting the alarm, like, doing everything that, you know, you could do, and they still have no idea." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the other side of it, you know, so the relationship isn t strong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you kind of have to decide as a parent, well, what am I looking for?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then also, what outcomes do I want for my child?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like you said, it s going to be different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I think of as what I m hoping for for my kids is going to be presumably different than what you re hoping for, although I m sure there s a baseline of similarity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would say that s the thing that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "always you could lean on is all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you could feel and be exactly who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still going to give you boundaries and limits, and that s going to keep you safe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the rest is like, do what you want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you think the way that you were parented impacts the way that you parent your kids?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, that s such a loaded question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s so much there, but like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess, is it like you naturally will take what your parents did with you and recreate that unless you stop the cycle?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do we have to be honest with ourselves about what type of parents we had and make an active choice to not be like them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or can we just sort of hope it goes away on its own?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you answered the question in asking the question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We repeat what we know unless we re conscious of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even the act of saying, I don t want to be anything like that is a conscious decision." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you come to terms with the experience that you had being parented," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re inevitably going to be able to make better choices." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s just so much freedom in not just going on that autopilot, like, I m just going to react exactly like, you know, my mother did to me and her mother did to her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m actually going to take a moment and think, why am I responding this way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, I still default." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My default setting is very similar to my parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love my parents, and they re amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to be like them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I love them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think anyone goes into psychology, particularly this tiny minutia field that I m in, which is developmental psychology." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "which is sort of how you come to be who you are and growth over time and emotional development." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you re not interested in that because you were around all of the normal, like, things that we think are easy breezy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s because I was kind of watching just wildly interesting things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When do you think you know you re ready to be a parent?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there s a level of understanding you need to have about your own childhood, your own experience with your parents before you re ready to go and be a parent?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or do you think that that s something that you sort of learn as you go?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, do you think that it s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ideal and responsible when possible to kind of have that sorted out beforehand?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In a dream world, that s exactly what happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In reality, you re kind of born as a parent the day your kids are born, and you re just like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in process all the time, but it definitely helps to have thought through this kinds of all these things that you do to think about how you came to be who you are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This inevitably makes you more ready, even if you don t feel ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think there s a moment when any of us feels like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, don t you remember the first time you, well, I have no idea, I m gonna make up a scenario that might seem ridiculous, but like, the first time you drew your own bath and poured a glass of wine or something and you re like, I m allowed to do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m, this is nobody s, I m not being rebellious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I m just an adult now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s a weird feeling and I think you still feel that way when you become a parent and you re just like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, no, there s nobody like no one s checking my work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, seriously." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s just weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you you start to just you embody it because you have no choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And a really incredible thing happens to your brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the first three years of life, biggest growth in our brains." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The next spurt is adolescence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the third one is transition to parenthood." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you can be adoptive parent, you can be dad, you can be mom." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not biological, but the brain actually grows the most, it s like the third peak before the decline." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it s so wild and it s like the most flexible and motivated you will ever be in your adult life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that s so cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one, I have not heard about that before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except for like spec, like my dad told me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like, Emma, I am not kidding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he doesn t have the science to back it, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like he doesn t know about this scientifically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He just felt it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was like, when I, the day I became your dad, like my brain changed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He was right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like he fully, he was like, I didn t, I could have never predicted it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t understand it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the same thing happened for my mom, but you know, my dad is really reflected on that, especially as," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, he s always been sort of this creative, like free spirit, like also, you know, maybe more inward in a way, like more focused on himself and his own creative endeavors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But something just switched when I was born." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s interesting to hear that that s actually... It s like biologically true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Isn t that crazy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I do think a lot of this field" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t have to know the science." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You ve it s just you re a person and you re like, you feel it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel this stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that growth is so motivating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s also just exciting to know that some change really does happen in the act of the caregiving." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you don t have to be ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s great to get ready, but it s not like I think you wake up one day, although I do think you re by a lot like I do think there s a moment biologically where you re like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think I could have a baby." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not there yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pivoting to, like, you know, co-parenting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mm-hmm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, here s, like, an existential crisis I ve been experiencing recently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Tell me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I mean, I m kind of young to be, like, dating with this mindset, but, you know, ultimately, I want to get married and have kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not the hot, cool thing to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Excuse me, everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I- This is rebellious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is rebellious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is punk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fully punk now to get married and have kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But dating through that lens is so daunting because you re like, all right, not only am I trying to find somebody who I like for various reasons, you re also trying to find somebody who s gonna be a good parent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a partner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was not in my mind at all for years because I was just too young, it didn t matter." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I m feeling the weight of like, I need to find somebody who" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "checks so many boxes, and one of the most important ones being, who s going to be a good parent to my child?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I can do everything right and be an incredible parent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everything right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You never do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can do almost everything right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can be a really good parent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if the other parent is not, then it s like, this poor child now, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a bummer, what a bummer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m curious, how do you know someone s a good partner for co-parenting?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so a couple of thoughts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first is I think it s so cool to get to that place when love becomes more than attraction and intense excitement and when you re thinking about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wait, what is this long-term?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s a balance of who compliments you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I will say, just to ease anybody s worry, it really only takes one caregiver that makes you feel seen and safe and secure to have positive outcomes for kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So a second one is great, obviously that s even better, but you re not screwed if you only have one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really promising." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I wouldn t look for like a dud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We still shouldn t settle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But you can really grow resilient, amazing humans with one loving adult in their life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I would say that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I kind of boiled down all this research into five ideas, let s say, principles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Those are the five things that I think we all need to possess and have capacity for in order to do our best in relationships and with our kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you re a person, for example, who s really good at" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "relationship, connecting, sensitivity, but you feel uncomfortable with rules, maybe you find that partner that s really good at that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think when you meet someone that is willing to be reflective and that is self-regulated enough to pause before they react." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you see that they set appropriate boundaries, that they have the kind of rules for themselves and others that keep everyone kind of knowing what to expect and safe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then I think repair is everything because people in relationships and parent-child relationships do not have like a beautiful dance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s messy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But when you can come back from it, and this is all in the research," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like how couples repair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you come back from a dysregulation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you come back from disrepair?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you come back from a fight?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I would look at that more than I would look at whether or not you fight because interesting that s when you understand that there s stability in that person or not, you know somebody who has a fight with you and Is like that s it" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That doesn t feel safe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The hard feelings part can t be a threat to the overall relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it is, that person has to figure out what kind of experience they had in their early years that makes them think that any uncomfortable feelings means this is over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would probably, after going through all of the things that I just said, I would look at how they come back from the disconnect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think about, okay, what would I look for in a co-parent, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what comes to mind immediately, like this sort of easy answer is like, somebody I get along with perfectly and there s no problems and everything s great and we re just like, you know, we agree" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "free on everything and it s like but obviously that s not gonna happen now that just will not happen so you know it s it s sort of comforting to hear that it s like who can you argue" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "responsibly with, if you will." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we look at attachment relationships, like secure attachment, if you ve heard any of that stuff, anxious attachment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m very anxiously attached." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There you go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like when you think about that, what do we look for?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We look at how, not how a child responds when a parent leaves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We look at how the child responds when the parent returns." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the relationship isn t being judged by if you re screaming and sad if your parent goes away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really about, do you forgive them when they come back?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you back in?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you reconnect?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the sign of the healthy relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s the same thing when we look at repair in adults, like how quickly" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do we have capacity to come back and make like a bid for reconnection?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody holds a grudge, if somebody like makes you prove your worthiness, if somebody makes you make up for it because you really did something that hurt them," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does that mean for their capacity for repair?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because of course you re not going to agree on everything, especially once you have kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I would pay such close attention to that because that s the scary stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not when you re getting along." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, how do we handle?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t handle a fight well, or maybe you don t, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like maybe you re the one who s like, when this happens, I m out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there is someone that you feel so safe with," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that you can try the idea of not being out, of believing that actually it was just a fight and it s gonna be, you re gonna have learned from it, you re gonna grow and you re gonna come back together, that s a huge positive sign." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re bringing out the part of your psyche that s the most healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No biggie." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No biggie." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So no biggie, good luck everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Let s pivot to actually" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "individual parent and child." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Your podcast is called Raising Good Humans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Give me a little spark notes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What is a good human?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s a little bit of a trick, trick name because of course, who would I be to suggest that I know what a good human is?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know we all just know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you don t" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "necessarily the same answer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we all know that if we sat down right now and wrote down on a piece of paper for five minutes straight, what is a good human?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we could each circle a few repeated words that just come to mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that, to me, is the exercise that everybody should do to figure out who they are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who do I want to be?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my center?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the most important thing is that you are integrated, that your insides and your outsides are feeling aligned." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to believe that your insides are worthy of showing up on the outside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Accomplish that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kind of worthiness for your kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I rarely see bad things come of that, but I, I definitely think raising good humans is about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "raising whatever you define as a good human and it s really raising good parents." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s really raising ourselves because kids are going to be who they are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like we re controlling them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more like can we, you know, water the seed that was planted to become the" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the flower that s going to bloom the best that it can while being that exact flower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I try not to say what a good human is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah, I get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because that s a huge... Because I can t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because, well, I don t think anyone can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like there s not one definition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But it is true that we all" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "can feel when someone s a good person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, it s like, does that mean that they haven t fucked up?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, but it s like, it is very true that it s something that we feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "When do you think" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "a friendship between a parent and a child is unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when do you think it s healthy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, it could be totally defined by if the child, like if you re having a blast with your parents and you re like having a fun day and doing all the things you wanna be doing and laughing together and whatever, that s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The minute it s unhealthy is when, let s say your mother or father turns to you and says, I need you to take care of my emotional needs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mm, it s like you want to feel like I, the parent, can take care of you, the child, and I can take care of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can share your stuff with me, but I m not going to, it s not that reciprocal, like a best friend, you tell each other your problems, you share, one of you is struggling, you take care of them, the other one s struggling, you take, it s very equal, or it should be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With a child, that would be a red flag to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that mother has nobody to turn to except for you, and then you as the child are like, I guess," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to be the caregiver to this person s emotions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when I think friendship takes a turn that is unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yes, that makes total sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So I think if the child feels comfortable to almost treat their parent like a best friend, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But then it cannot be reciprocated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just can t be reciprocated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because how could you set boundaries as the adult?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How could you give limits?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How could you have rules in any way, shape, or form that keep that child safe if you yourself are dependent on that child to come up with them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it would also probably be challenging as a parent to be treating your child like a best friend, and then to have to go and, you know, enforce discipline in some ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, how can you discipline a child that you feel like you re best friends with?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s uncomfortable and weird, which I can imagine then causes a parent to not discipline when they should." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And speaking of that, you know," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What is the right way to discipline a child?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it being super gentle and being like, you know, whatever?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it being more explosive?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Is it different depending on the child and what they react best to?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "In general, what have you seen is the best way to discipline a child?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it goes back to the idea of the all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there are natural consequences and logical consequences." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you are angry at me because, you know, and you re like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t let you keep your iPad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re yelling at me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That, I m not disciplining that feeling, but I might say like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when you throw the iPad at me, I m now going to take that iPad and I m gonna put it away because the behavior is not acceptable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m okay with you being mad at me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not okay with you doing something dangerous with the iPad, so I will be removing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a natural and logical consequence, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if I said, this is my rule, I m not gonna explain why, and it has nothing to do with the crime," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not very effective." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think you can answer almost any discipline question with, did I honor the feeling?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I see you re really angry right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s allowed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And did I explain the behavior that is expected?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t keep the iPad on, or you can t throw the iPad, or you can t whatever it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then enforce it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s what I said." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s predictable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I told you about it in advance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then once your child knows, like, oh, I m allowed to have a feeling about this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the first part you connect about, like, I m not just blindly" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m not just being a tyrant here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see what you re going through, and I m so sorry about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, I trust that you can get through this feeling of discomfort, because that s part of being a person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m still going to take away that iPad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just that translates to every single scenario, what party you can go to, what your bedtime is, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course, as kids get older, you collaborate more with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ask them, like, in your ideal world, what time would you go to bed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to say that to a two-year-old, but you would say that to a 10-year-old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they might say something that feels" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "totally unreasonable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you might have to say, OK, that my job is to make sure that you re safe and healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I can t say 2 a.m." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I see that you want a little bit later of a bedtime." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s try this and we ll see how it goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think every single discipline issue can be boiled down to all feelings are welcome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all behaviors or not, and I just have to be clear about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What about the tone of voice?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just thinking about that, because the thing is, is no, you shouldn t yell all the time, obviously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yelling, so if I, I don t yell a lot, I m not a yelly person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, me either." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I yell, my kids would be either terrified or laughing, because they would be so uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If their dad yells, they don t even hear it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s a yeller." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re not scared." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s actually more damaging when I yell." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like the tone ideally doesn t, when you look at your kids, if they re visibly scared, something s going wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they get you, you know, one side of my family is they re very loud immigrants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and my grandparents mostly were not speaking English in front of me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they sounded like they were screaming all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody, like no one was scared of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, it was their norm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was just their norm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have to almost look at how people are reacting in the family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that family s natural cultural norm is just like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, in another household, that could be really scary." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s super dependent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also the kids like there s a there s a scientist that I think divides children up in this way that maybe sounds ridiculous, but it s so beautiful to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Orchids, dandelions and tulips." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He studied orchid kids, and what he wanted to know was, his name s Thomas Boise, and what he wanted to know was, why do some kids thrive in any environment, like a dandelion, and some kids wither, like an orchid, if they re not given the exact sunlight, water, and soil?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what was really interesting is that when they are given the exact sort of support system that they need," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They bloom magnificently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And who are those kids?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re mostly artists, creative people, highly sensitive people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re people who s, you know, might be called thin-skinned, but really you might think of it as like you re just more porous, like you feel the air more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have higher ear temperatures." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s a real thing being a highly sensitive person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to me, if I m raising a child and I ve got one who s more of a dandelion, who doesn t care if I snap at them and say, like, grab your things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to be late." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also have an orchid who is going to be like, you hate me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m better off just like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "taking a minute before I say something because they need a little bit more, it s not coddling because they have to learn how to operate in the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re just like slowly, you re patient because you know they just thrive better with a more patient tone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think tone of voice matters depending on even the type of child you have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have that orchid kid, you need to pay a little bit more attention." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s interesting that, you know, the answer is not, no, you should never yell." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s not a dream voice, but the answer is not you should never yell." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, I m just going to say a word or a term and you tell me your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Gentle parenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it means different things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, that s why I was... It s like inconsistent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you could say that it means all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that the feelings part of it, that you re seeing your child, you re acknowledging them, you re paying attention, and you re setting boundaries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could be gentle parenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it could also be that gentle parenting is you never set boundaries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So because it s not, there s no one definition, I like to assume, the more generous interpretation, is that what people mean is," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re going to take an approach that is child centered around seeing how the child feels, what s going on, being sensitive, but that will still have boundaries and whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In which case, like with all things, it s all back to the same authoritative parenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just like mindful parenting, gentle parenting, whatever the popular phrase is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s all it means the same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just like go through" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "different ways of talking about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have a reaction to it, but my reaction is more like, it s so unfair to parents because it s like so vague and it might give the impression that it s about like something just soft to the point of not having boundaries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then parents are like, am I allowed to have a rule?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, that s why I don t like the word or the term." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To me, it feels completely" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it feels, and this might totally be judgmental, but it s like, when I read like gentle parenting, what comes to mind is like spineless parenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like having no backbone at all and just being like, ah, you can do whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, and again, that s without doing, that s just my like gut reaction to it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but I think that s half the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you re right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that is the thing that a lot of," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "gentle parenting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, because it s so vague, you could have one person who s like, no, it s not that it s alongside a spine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the fact is, the name harkens the idea of like, we re not going to have any uncomfortable feelings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will all be peaceful and calm and easy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is ridiculous and unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess it s one of those things where" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would want somebody to define what they mean." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Speaking of dental parenting, to what extent should we protect our kids from, you know, conflict and hurt and even danger at times?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And how do you find a balance between" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "kind of sending your kids out and being like, eh, I don t know, and over-protecting them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you don t want to send them into a situation where they re going to be in danger, but also danger is everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So, you know, you have to let your kids go at some point, but you don t want to over protect them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do you recommend finding that balance?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about resilience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think if you, of course we want to protect our kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to protect everyone we love from having hard feelings and from experiencing difficult things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you don t exercise those muscles and you get thrown into the world of" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "finding out that things can t always go your way, you end up weaker for it because you didn t have the hard experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the way you could look at it is, is this a manageable stressor or unmanageable?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will this stretch my child so they can grow or will it break them?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s going to break them, I got to be there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re not ready for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s going to stretch them, they re going to be uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not going to like it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That builds resilience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s, like, what I always ask parents is, is what you re asking of your child something that is survivable, but you just don t think that it s fair to have them be uncomfortable?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that is a terrible message, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they should know that your adult self isn t like, oh, my God, it s the end of the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to tell them to give you the part in the play that you didn t get." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that is a weird message, or I m going to fix the bad grade, or I m going to tell that kid to invite you to the birthday party." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are normal, shitty things that we have to go through in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the key with our parents is that there are people we can come to and cry and say, that felt horrible, but that they re not going to be like, I can t have you feeling as horrible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me fix it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have this whole need to fix the hard feelings and then kids don t experience those very challenges that make them resilient." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What about when a child wants to go do something dangerous, you know, like they want to put themselves in danger and you know" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "this is risky, like this is not okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or like, this could be risky, it probably won t be, but it could be, because again, anything can be risky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, my brain can find the risk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, me too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m terrible at that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Now that I m an adult, it s like everything feels like a death wish to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, what can t I do anymore?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Most young people go through a phase where they want to do stuff that s dangerous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They want to go drink with their friends when they re underage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They want to go to this party late at night." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They want to go, you know, drive around with their friends when they re not supposed to because they only have a permit, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "create boundaries there that keep them safe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like let them explore a bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But also let them explore a bit because it s like, my parents were pretty chill about me doing whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as a result, I actually wasn t, I was the least crazy out of the group." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My parents were like, go and do whatever you want, but tell us what you re doing and we ll tell you the risks" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "what you do with that information is up to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, is that a good way to handle it?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Did they nail it or no?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if it s that until a point, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there is a certain point at which the risk is too high." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And your job as a parent is to say like, you can t get into a car with a drunk driver." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are certain things that are too risky because your life is in danger." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s lots of risky stuff that doesn t put your life in danger, that is just going to be a dumb idea." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those things, it is great for parents to be like, here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that happens, here s the consequence." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you get to make the choice of whether or not you re going to do it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think to the point of, you know, reasonable, that s great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have a different level of what reasonable is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that, you know, if you don t give your child" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the freedom to make mistakes and stuff, they re either gonna lie to you or they re gonna be really severely underdeveloped." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no good outcome if you don t fall on your face a bunch." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just so painful to know, is that you just have to sit there and witness it, you know, offer a glass of water and a hug." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, a glass of water seems very boring." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a little lemonade." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like maybe we put a little lemonade in there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the idea that you can t bubble wrap the world, which is just hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s part of our development as adults." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That our loved ones can handle difficult experiences knowing that they re going to come out the other side." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is like the biggest gift you can get, which you can only get from experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you apologize to your kids?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you know, being a parent means making mistakes as a parent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I really do think that it s about, you know, at least based on my experience, how you remedy the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, that s, like at least when it comes to my relationship with my parents, if they ve been able to apologize," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in a way that I truly feel is sincere, then, you know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re back in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then I m back in." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes, I mean, sometimes it takes some time, but I m curious, what s the most effective way to apologize to your child, and how do you know when an apology is warranted?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in the same way that talking about a partner who s able to repair, like you re setting the stage for your child to see that you make mistakes and that you can come back from them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those apologies really matter so much because when you look at young kids who feel so guilty or like they just blew it, or even a teenager, whatever, or grownups," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know the ones who weren t apologized to because they feel like the screw up is irreparable and like they hate themselves for it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have a situation where you have to apologize to your child, I think the most important thing to do is kind of I mean, the the biohack of like putting your hand on your heart and just taking a breath and saying like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I screwed up, but I m a good mom, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m gonna make repairs." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives you like a little moment of self-compassion." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you apologize, I don t want you as the parent to make your child feel like you re just berating yourself over and over." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can be like, hey, I expect that sometimes I m gonna mess up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was one of those times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what I did that I wish I hadn t done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know how I can make it right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and in the future, here s what I m going to do to do better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a, you know, it could be as big as that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be as small as letting someone pick the movie and laughing together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you just kind of know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just kind of got back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that the first part of the apology has to be with yourself so that your child recognizes that it s not the end of the world to have to apologize." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, that s very true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I think" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "maybe it can also be sort of damaging if an apology is like an entire event." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because now you feel like it s an event and it s not like, you know, so maybe there is no such thing as like over apologizing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess when I think of over apologizing, I think it s when" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "parents apologize for creating boundaries, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally, that s different because they didn t need to apologize." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, and they shouldn t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that is a really good point because it s really hard to apologize for something where you really blew it because you have to then tell yourself what you ve done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s way easier to say, I m really sorry that you re upset right now because you can t go to the party." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like a bullshit apology." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, totally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, but the ones where it s like, I just took your weak, vulnerable spot." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I took advantage of it, and I criticized you for something that I know you have deep shame about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is very hard to admit, because it really makes you feel" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I mean, you look in the mirror and you re like, who did this?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know, like, then we remember we re people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re just going to keep being people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you think if you apologize along the way that you can create a child who carries no damage from you?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or do you think that it is inevitable that your child will" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "bring some damage with them throughout their life because I swear my parents were fucking amazing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I really did have phenomenal parents, but you know, I," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "have some issues from them for sure we all do it s inevitable yeah i don t think you cannot have that like i because i look at my situation and i m like i don t know how they could have done any better they ve apologized even for everything especially like you know now that i m an adult my parents have apologized for everything i ve brought up i ve figured out" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "all the different things that they did and how that impacted me now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And they were open and receptive?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So open, so receptive, so like, you know, my mom apologizes on a weekly basis to me about various things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "She s like, I just remembered this one thing I did when you were like 12 and I feel so bad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was so mean." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m like, hey, it s all good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I do forgive my parents for every little thing that they ve ever done, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have noticed that certain things have impacted the way that I am in friendships, the way that I am in romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that, you know, the apology doesn t change that, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so now, you know, it s taking a whole nother, you know, I have to go back in and now address that and unlearn that in, you know," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "get to the bottom of that, because now that s sort of become my own philosophy, that now has nothing to do with them anymore, because they ve repaired what they ve done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The lingering effects, I have to handle now, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is your burden, because it s the life choices that you re going to make." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, like, you know, no one gets out of – it would be boring if you just were, like, squeaky perfect and who needs that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it is interesting to be able to say, like, what are you drawn to in romantic relationships?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And is that aligned with what you would like to be drawn to in romantic relationships?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how do you respond?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those things do come from early experiences." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, when my parents got divorced, it rattled things a little bit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then, now, I m very anxiously attached because I feel like I can be... The way I internalized that was I m being put on the back burner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then, now, I m super anxiously attached because I m like, I can just be abandoned at any point, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s, so your place that" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you ll work on is believing somebody s there even if they go away for a weekend or don t have dinner or are grumpy about something." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then does it also on the other side make you feel, and I will say you re not anxiously attached." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I feel like that just- Well, puts you in a box, it s true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It puts you, it really, it sets you up to have all relationships like that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it does sound like your, you know, natural inclination might be to be worried that someone s leaving." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so your challenge is to either choose people who are really comfortable making sure you feel safe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because sometimes when you have that tendency, you are attracted to people who are very... I love an avoidant man." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like what s sexier to somebody with... I m obsessed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, somebody who s super, super needy would probably be so annoying for you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I hate that too." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you would become avoidant." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s more like how you are in relationship to someone else." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s finding the fit of someone who doesn t bring out that part." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is actually a really phenomenal point because when I have been in situations that were much more secure or even the other person was anxious as well, it s been like, I actually feel like I have secure attachment." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s only when I m with somebody who s avoidant that then I am avoidant or I am anxious." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like two," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Psyche s bringing out each other s worst parts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the trickiest part about that, which is a conversation for another day, but it s not sexy to be safe." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So true." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you re 22." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you going to convince your body and your nervous system to be attracted to someone who is safe while at the same time" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s who you want to partner with." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are two really opposing things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so growing into, especially if you bend anxious in that way, growing into finding sexiness in safety is a hard thing." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hurdle." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s like totally my, that s my vibe right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m trying to, I m trying to love safety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s really about like finding the person who brings out and who you bring out that sense of safety and finding the sexy and safety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just, I remember once someone said to me, that isn t" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sexy or love, it s anxiety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was so young at the time and I was like, what?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, moving right along." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then here I am decades later and I remember it because it s hard not to confuse those things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, when you can find two nervous systems that bring out a sense of ease and you don t think of it as boring and lame, you win." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Back to kids." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "By the way, that was a detour I needed right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "More on that after." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But many kids feel a pressure to become what their parents envision them to be." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, you know, you should get this job." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You should get married at this age." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, you should do this, you should do that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What are your advice for parents on how to not do that?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and how to let go of those, you know, expectations." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what are your advice to kids when it comes to blocking out that noise and doing what you want to do?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for parents and people in general, the people that you love need to know you love them for who they are." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not a single bit of their accomplishments, not how they look, not how they act, but who they are inside at their core." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you catch yourself praising and deifying qualities that are about performance," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Catch yourself so that your kids know that they are loved for who they are and that it doesn t matter that they got 12 trophies or that you aren t invested in whether or not they end up doing this job or going to this college or going to that whatever or marrying that person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we as the parents have to be vigilant about catching ourselves in how we praise and what we pay attention to, not just in our kids, but in other people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you could be really meticulous about not praising your daughter for how beautiful she is, but then walk around telling everybody else how beautiful they are and looking at all of that stuff and the values get baked in." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that is part of it, is just what values do you want your children to feel you value?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if that s a sentence, and just checking in with what you perceive as important." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one thing that you can always do with people is do kind of a family mission statement where you kind of say, in this household, we value, and you pick three things." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when your kids get to even age four, ask them what they think you value." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if there is a misalignment," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a good, it s just information." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you re like, we value kindness, compassion, and persistence." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But your kids are like, I think you value hard work, performance, and success." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No judgment on either of those, but there s a misalignment." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So figuring out whether or not you or be honest with your kids." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s almost worst if you pretend that you don t care about certain things, but you do." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then for for young people." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Resisting" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "looking outward for your worth, which is impossible, but it s just a practice." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a practice every day of recognizing and getting the courage up, starting with your parents because they re the people that are not going anywhere, hopefully, of saying, this is who I am and realizing you re still loved." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As a parent," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "what s the responsible way to enforce boundaries with the internet?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, because it s so, it s such a nightmare." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, my parents kind of let me have free reign, and... Well, it served you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It ended up serving you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You did well with it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s the exception." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know, and I know, and that s, but even with me, psychologically, as much as it literally built a career for me, and you know, I m," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "obviously beyond grateful for that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It also has given me, I mean, there s so much damage that it s also caused." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What kind of damage do you feel like it s caused?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I mean, for sure, severe body image issues throughout my whole life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, since I was like 10, okay?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it makes my anxiety a lot worse." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m already an anxious person." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It definitely exacerbates depression for me, which I also already have." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or maybe I, or maybe," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "those are byproducts." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It could be because I ve been on the internet since I was so young." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, I ve struggled more recently with like kind of OCD like perfectionism in a way that s like not normal." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like it s like, okay, we need to not," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is like too much, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All from the internet, or at least made worse by the internet." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, yeah, it definitely amplifies all of our natural struggles." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for girls, of course it s gonna be body image, depression, anxiety." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s perfectionism." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you named everything." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re in a post-truth world now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know what s happening right now online." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also know what it feels like." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will sit for, certainly recently, for so long, I don t know how time has gone by, and I m just watching things, and I can feel my entire body is just basically shaking, and it s so bad." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me too, I know." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think about young nervous systems," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So basically, I think because it s the kind of addictive, tricky mechanism, we have to create certain boundaries." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I do not allow electronics past 10 in bedrooms, no matter what." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not an argument we ever have because this is me protecting" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you from what is a reasonable want, which is to just be able to be up all night scrolling with your friends, doing whatever." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t imagine how you could have the self-control with a teenage brain." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s all gas, no brakes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m there as a support system for that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But unless we re on vacation." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it depends on the individual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you have to look and see how is your particular teenager managing social media?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does their algorithm look like?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If their algorithm is like a bunch of puppies and bunnies doing funny things, I m not worried about it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think you can tell by just checking in." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re paying the bills for the most part, so that can be an agreement." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a sneaky thing." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, look, I have to know your passwords." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not gonna just spy." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m allowed to, but that s not... I m not doing that for fun." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna check in every once in a while as a responsible parent." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If things are looking like there s a problem, we ll figure out a solution." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If things are looking fine, but mealtime and..." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sleep time to me are sacred from from screens." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think that s reasonable because I don t think you can t I mean again It s like when you when the rules are too strict, it s just the kids end up rebelling and I think with the phone it s like they re gonna feel the effects of being on it too much like Obviously taking the phone away like all together not giving your kid a phone." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You can t do that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost like" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it really socially at this point it s it s they would have no social life it s terrible so it s like you can t not give them you know the phone at all but also they will they will 100% surely have a negative psychological" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "there will be a negative effect if they are overdoing it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s like, they will feel that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think if you can warn them of that, I guess that s the best you can do." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, like we have these certain things that are just non-negotiable, and then the rest is, yeah, checking in with, how is this feeling for you?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And usually, if you re pointing it out, but you re not accusatory, they can come up with their own realization." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they just might need help." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, a lot of teenagers find relief in just being forced to have space from all of that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To wrap this up, what is your most unexpected piece of advice for parents?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, a piece of advice that they d be like, oh, really?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what do you think is sort of a curveball, if you can think of one?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a curve ball is, this is so specific and random, but not arguing with your kids to convince them out of their feelings." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if they feel ugly, telling them why they re beautiful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if they feel scared, telling them why they shouldn t be scared." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that is a very natural thing to want to do, but not what is recommended." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is, like, see, that is exactly what." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Was that the kind of curve ball?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes, because, you know, what I think is being brought to my attention for the first time in this conversation is how it s nobody else s place to get in the way of what someone s feeling." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve recently been handling my emotions differently, personally, just on a personal level, where" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m just letting myself feel things fully, feel so sad, so upset, so blah, blah, blah, and I just sit in it and I m like, and I m not trying to change it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And what s been so interesting about it is when I just let myself sit in it, when I come out the other side, I feel truly resolved, right?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you know, my entire life," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Before that, it was like every time I d feel uncomfortable, I d just try to find a way to feel comfortable again." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And now I m like, no, I m just going to sit in it and I m just going to see what happens, knowing that at some point it will end." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the key." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It always does." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It always does." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like you ve got to believe that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How will you believe it until you go through it?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that s a journey that somebody has to go on as an individual." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so when somebody comes in and sort of" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s almost unfair, in some ways, to come in and say, no." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t feel that way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You don t feel that way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You should be feeling this way, and here s why." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because, you know, you re such a great student, and everything s going so well for you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s like, don t take away my ability to just be sad right now, and just whatever." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I think that that s so huge with parenting, but also across the board in life." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Even with how you parent yourself as an adult." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to learn to sit with every emotion and figure out how you manage it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think, you know, when it comes to parenting, it s like, what do you say when your child is upset instead of saying like, oh, don t feel this way." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you validate without changing if that s what it is?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you mirror, you almost say back to them like what it sounds like, like let me get this straight." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds like you feel really unloved or ugly or scared or whatever." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there any way I can be helpful is a totally reasonable question, but first you have to acknowledge it and let them know." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, the other risk is that they then have to either convince you so it gets bigger." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, no, here are all, it s like, try to tell somebody who s afraid of flying all the reasonable statistics about why they shouldn t be afraid of flying." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A person afraid of flying is gonna be like, I ll one-up you on each one of those things with, you know," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whatever, you can t argue with anxiety." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An anxious person is going to outwin that argument." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A kid feeling a feeling is going to have to lie about their feeling or feel like they can t trust their own feelings unless you validate them and let them have them." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just think it s important for them to know you can handle it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s hard." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really hard." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mess this up all the time." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you can sit there and not feel total just devastation that your child s experienced, you re showing them that you can handle it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And who wants to, you know, even if you think about friends, like," }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who do you want to talk to about your troubles or your sadness?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it the one who s like?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trying to convince you out of it or is it the one who s just like let this shit out?" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so valid and then eventually let s like I" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take off our sweatpants, get outside, and do something that feels good." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But first, I m going to let you indulge in this feeling." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to make you feel ashamed of it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just do it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just be there." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the people that you re calling on because they can handle it." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Absolutely true." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Amen." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you for coming on." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, thank you for having me." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was so phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so wonderful." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a thoughtful, cool, awesome, I want to interview you." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should come on my podcast." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes!" }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never had a person who s not, that would be so- I would love that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I could ask you so many questions." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would adore that." }, { "chunk": "6", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I can t wait." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,848
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m recording this, 2023 is almost over." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in some ways, thank God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in some ways, oh no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m getting to the age where getting another year older is starting to become daunting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I was younger, I was excited to get older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, the older I am, the more independence I have, the cooler I ll feel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is amazing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now getting older has a little bit more weight to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m turning 23 this year and 23 sort of feels like 25." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And 25 is getting pretty close to 30." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be a lot of life changes for me in the next few years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the new year is sort of reminding me of that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this rude awakening that the clock is ticking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that, I feel like time is just moving so much faster the older I get." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like New Year s Eve 2022 was six months ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it was a year ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Time is moving really fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m going to be totally old soon, but that s totally fine because I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think my happiest years are yet to come." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s at least a silver lining." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some reason, I m already having an existential crisis about the new year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do new year s resolutions this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost just need to pretend like it s not a new year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my vibe this year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, nope, it s just another day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I don t want to think about how quickly time is moving." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But do you know what I do have the mental bandwidth to do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk about fashion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In an honor of us approaching 2024, I thought I would predict some fashion trends for 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to share what I think is going to be trending in 2024." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I will say it is harder to pinpoint trends nowadays because we re so exposed to various niches and aesthetics through the internet and trends just don t feel as universal as they used to pre-internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I assume because I wasn t alive really before the internet, but" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Despite how messy and overwhelming the fashion world is today because of the internet, there still are trends that you can pinpoint." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, in 2023, we had ballet core." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People were wearing little ballet slippers, little leg warmers, little leotards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were ribbons, you know, like ballet-esque sort of pink ribbons happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Balletcore definitely happened in 2023." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was the quiet luxury stealth wealth trend, which was pretty much just basic clothing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like simple, minimal designs, classic, timeless pieces." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that are classy have always sort of been somewhere in the zeitgeist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But this sort of style became very trendy in 2023." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people, especially celebrities, were really gravitating towards that sort of aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll be honest, I hate" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "calling that aesthetic stealth wealth, quiet luxury, old money aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate it because you can accomplish that aesthetic for so cheap." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go to a thrift store and buy everything you could possibly need for that aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go get a simple button down, a pair of khakis, a pair of simple, well fitting jeans, a pair of old loafers," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a few nice sweaters, you can get all of that from the thrift store for like 30 bucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like how it s being associated with wealth, though I understand it in a way because prior to this being a trend, designer clothing, expensive clothing, was mainly very loud." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lots of logos, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was the trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now it s all about wearing designer clothes, but it not being obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a way, I sort of appreciate that sentiment too, but I guess my issue with the name of the trend is that it sort of excludes people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who can t spend $500 on a button up like most people can t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s so exclusionary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unfair to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it paints this picture that only wealthy people can participate in this trend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just, I fucking hate that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, I went off on a tangent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What else did we have in 2023?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sort of a soccer, or if you don t live in America, football aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people were wearing soccer jerseys and soccer shoes, like the Adidas Samba was the shoe of the year, I would say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of a soccer shoe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so many people were wearing soccer jerseys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like all the rage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that to say, you know, yes, it is harder these days to pinpoint what the trends are, but in retrospect, there still definitely are trends happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not like a complete mess where it s like everything is happening all at once." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t put a finger on one thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here are my 2024 fashion predictions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These predictions are based on things that I ve seen on the runway over the past few months and gut feelings that I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My predictions are somewhat rooted in reality because I m kind of seeing what s on the runway and the runway tends to predict what s gonna happen in the world, but I m mainly going off of gut feeling, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m probably gonna be wrong about everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, maybe not, maybe not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll see." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, to start, 2010 Abercrombie and Fitch aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s gonna come back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I lived through this time, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember what everybody was wearing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was skinny jeans, low-waisted, button-up sort of polo shirts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything was really fitted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was definitely some preppiness going on, you know, the collared shirt, little preppy, khaki sort of skirts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "very much a New England vibe, a East Coast sort of vibe, like upstate New York vibes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the jackets had these like big buttons and sometimes were lined with fur." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the Abercrombie and Fitch aesthetic from 2010 combined preppiness with outdoorsyness in a way that felt completely impractical." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like Abercrombie and Fitch is not like Carhartt in the way that Carhartt is actually outdoorsy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Abercrombie is not fully preppy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are skinny jeans, there are mini skirts, there are short shorts, but there are also polo shirts and sweaters." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really think that the entire vibe of Abercrombie and Fitch in 2010 is gonna come back now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I predict fitted collared shirts" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could even kind of see skinny jeans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel like we re due for skinny jeans to come back and Abercrombie really loved the skinny jean." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see like tight jeans that have sort of a little bootcut flare coming back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both of these types of jeans being low waisted at the highest mid waisted Abercrombie did a lot of mini" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "denim shorts, like super short denim shorts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see those coming back too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Abercrombie tended to stick to a very nautical, outdoorsy, preppy color palette." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "navy blue, white, dark green, dark gray, etc." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I could see that sort of happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like Abercrombie & Fitch was sort of a romanticized version of living in a preppy place like Connecticut." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, imagine you re just growing up next to a lake and you go to this prep school down the road." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you wear your collared shirt and your skinny jeans and your little boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with your little sweater and you go out and take a walk by the lake and then afterwards you go and, I don t know, like ride a horse or something and then after that you go to bed and then the next morning you wake up and you put on your cute little collared shirt again and you put on your little skirt and your little boat shoes and you go to school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that sort of fantasy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I feel that coming back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really, really realized that this was coming" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "back when I went to the Spring 2024 Ready to Wear Miu Miu show." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go check out that collection if you want to see proof that I think that this is coming back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If Miu Miu is doing this, it must be coming back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s like this preppy" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "meets outdoorsy fantasy, because it s not fully functional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s definitely an aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next trend is sort of similar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So be patient with me, because you re going to be like, Emma, you re a broken record." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, we have other stuff to talk about, but that comes later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next trend, sailor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about someone who sails a boat, a sailor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People are gonna be ripping off that style, or not ripping off, but copying that style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, a classic sailor s uniform is white pants, white sort of button-up top," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe with some navy blue details, like a navy blue handkerchief around the neck, and then a classic sailor s hat, which is like a round sort of cap that has sort of a lip at the front of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually white, although, you know, they come in various colors." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then of course, boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, boat shoes, I m not kidding, like Sperry s." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I swear they re going to be in in 2024." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not going to lie, I m going to get a pair because I forgot about boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my dad and I were talking one day, randomly," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "about what I wore in high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And boat shoes were kind of trendy in high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a few kids had boat shoes and were wearing them around." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I want boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I got boat shoes and I wore them a little bit in high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said to my dad, I m kind of bummed out that I donated those actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said, now that we re discussing them again, I m realizing how cool they are and how classic they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my dad was like, is anyone wearing boat shoes right now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, honestly, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, like no one s wearing boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fast forward two months later, I go to the Miu Miu show, the same one that I just referenced earlier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re wearing boat shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, stop this right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop this right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Boat shoes are going to be back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The classic brown boat shoe with the little brown lace on top." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just mark my words." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just really see people finding inspiration in the classic sailor uniform that we all know and love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, there s the boat shoe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We already covered that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people are going to be copying more than that, though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of times sailor outfits are all white with little pops of navy or little pops of red." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could see that coming back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, lots of stripes, like navy blue and white stripes, little pins and stuff on jackets and hats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like sailors always have little pins on their jacket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even beyond that, just nautical themes in general, like sweaters that have anchors on them or fishes on them, quilted-looking fabrics that have sort of a beach scene on them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think nautical in general is going to come back, but more specifically, sailor aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, this one might be a reach, but hear me out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the French artist aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain what this is when I imagine it in my head." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I picture boxy sort of comfortable pants in neutral colors, black khaki denim, maybe like sort of a," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "classic denim, like a classic blue." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I picture a black and white striped top." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I picture a little beret." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I picture loafers or ballet flats, but not like a ballet flat that actually looks like it would be worn for ballet, like no pink satin." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about just a flat black or maybe red shoe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really think that this is going to come back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Specifically, black and white stripes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horizontal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Horizontal black and white stripes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like that is going to come back in a big way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like that is going to be the pattern of the year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that s a huge statement." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I want to make that statement, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m getting nervous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really think that black and white stripes are going to come back and be a very popular, popular, popular pattern." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because obviously, horizontal black and white stripes are always somewhat in, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very classic pattern, but I can see it being like the pattern for a moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the cute little French beret hat with the little thing sticking up, the little boop sticking up at the top." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think berets are underrated, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just got a few of them because I realized that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are deeply underrated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re so cool looking." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They add so much personality to an outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I really like them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe even with the pants, pants that have like paint stains on them and stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can see it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see if it happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the French artist aesthetic might be hot this year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it is, I fucking told you so." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it s not, forget I said anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next, I m seeing vampire comeback." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like we ve already sort of seen the vampire kind of aesthetic comeback, but I think it s gonna get even stronger in 2024." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think of sort of a Count Dracula-esque look, I think of black clothes, maybe with some pops of white, maybe with some pops of maroon or dark red." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of suiting, you know, like black and white suiting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of lace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "triangular shapes, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, for example, maybe it s a tight leather vest that has little points." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think of Dracula-esque fashion, I think of sharp points, pointy clothes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of dramatic trench coats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of a sleek black heel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe I even think of, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think the vampy vibe is going to be happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like lace hasn t been super popular necessarily over the past year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m missing something, but I haven t seen a lot of lace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think lace is going to come back in a big way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lace everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not lace everything, but people who are into this sort of Dracula aesthetic will definitely be wearing a lot of lace." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can imagine people wearing clothes that have like a skeleton on it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I feel like that fits into this vampire core as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine a shirt that looks like it s an x-ray and it can see through to your ribs and stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s going to be really trendy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like clothes that have a skeleton sort of printed on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually just bought a shirt like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I bought two shirts like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell what came first, you know, the chicken or the egg." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, did I buy those just because I like them and now I m saying that I think it s going to be a trend because I like them?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it starting and I m just on the bandwagon without even realizing it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that that s going to be a big part of that trend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so next one is a complete random guess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I guess it s not a complete random guess, but I m definitely winging it with this one, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But hear me out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Over the past few years, we ve had many trends based on sports, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was sort of the soccer core happening, which was the soccer jerseys, the Adidas Sambas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was ballet core." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole theme was like the ballet slippers, the leotards, the leg warmers, the bows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s next?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There has to be another sport that has its moment in 2024." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few guesses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, race car driving aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about race car jackets." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about super sporty glasses." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about, you know, tight sort of jumpsuit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "looking outfits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This sort of happened already in like 2015." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be too soon for it to come back, but I think it might come back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not that, I could sort of see it being hockey too though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the classic hockey jersey coming back in with the sort of zigzag laces on the neck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know though, there s not really a lot to do with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not a lot to rip off from hockey, so I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be baseball." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Baseball core?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I losing my mind?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, baseball jerseys are really cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not opposed to referencing a baseball jersey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the capri pants, super tight, the short sleeve button up top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Baseball, it could be baseball." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what if it s like ice skating?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be ice skating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of not, that s kind of too similar to ballet core though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hmm, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that a sport is going to have its moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t know what sport it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t think it would be football." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also really don t see it being basketball." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just does not, it just, it s not, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t see that happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tennis already happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like 2021, 2022, if I remember correctly, a lot of people were into the tennis aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the tennis aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s very cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that that s over for now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of already happened." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could it be wrestling?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what s, what is, there s really not a lot to pull from that either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We will see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We will see what sport ends up being trendy all of a sudden." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next trend has already sort of been happening in 2023, but I think it s going to get really, really strong in 2024, like even stronger than it is now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sort of the 90s minimalism vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like not minimalism in the sense that the people wearing this style only have two shirts and two pants in their closet, meaning they re living a minimalist lifestyle, but rather minimalist design, simple designs, simple colors, you know, a gray pair of slacks with a black turtleneck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a long black skirt with a button up top and a black sweater on top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like simple accessories, a little pair of glasses, nothing big, extreme, super spicy, simple, white tank top and blue jeans, like just super simple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the color palette is black, dark gray, maybe light blue, denim," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "white, maybe maroon, maybe, but that s sort of the color palette." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Little sporty, small frames, glasses, a simple loafer, or a simple boot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s sort of understated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I think that that s gonna continue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Speaking of trends that I think are gonna continue, I also think the sort of stealth, wealth, quiet, luxury trend is going to continue, and you know how I feel about that, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already went through that, so I don t need to go through it again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think just minimal designs in general are going to continue in 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s a lot of fatigue in fashion because of the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why a lot of people are reverting to more minimal designs, more timeless designs, less loud designs, because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more loud, overtly trendy things get old a lot quicker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re being exposed to a lot at all times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think the desire for simplicity is going to continue for probably the next few years, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s already happening, but I think it s just going to continue to happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d say the 90s minimalism vibe and the stealth, wealth, quiet luxury vibe are just two versions of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not mad because I could wear dress pants and loafers and button-ups and sweaters and cute little glasses all day long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t necessarily like wearing that all the time, but it s definitely a vibe that I go for quite frequently because it s simple, it s effective, it s timeless, and it makes me feel good, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to dress that way when I don t want my outfit to overpower me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be the star." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want my outfit to be the star." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be the star." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now completely opposite to that, I also think that funny slash ironic clothing will continue to be trendy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, there s always humor somewhere in fashion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, there s always someone doing fashion in a funny or ironic or weird way, but I think it s going to continue." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last season, when I went to the Acne Studios runway show, I remember one of the models walked out and was wearing this white t-shirt with a red bra on top of the shirt, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was one of the looks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, wait, whoa, interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then fast forward to like a few days ago, I m shopping at this great shop in LA and there s a skirt that has a pair of underwear sewed onto the outside of the skirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you re wearing the skirt, it just looks like there s a pair of underwear like slapped on the front." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, now that s silly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s a great example of how brands are going to try to be funny and ironic in 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exposed undergarments, I think that s going to be pretty big this year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But beyond that, I think we can rest assured that brands are going to do the classic silly things that they do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, whether that s putting a funny graphic or a funny text on a shirt, or that s" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making a bag that looks like a banana or that s creating a pair of sunglasses that cover like half of your face or that s." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making shoes that are pants, like making a pair of pants that has shoes connected to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like your shoes and pants are connected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s all one piece." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things that are sort of extreme, ironic, funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s always some of that happening somewhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s going to continue and even become more of a thing in 2024 because in 2023 we saw some brands have a lot of success by coming out with products like that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, there were these big red boots in 2023, they were called the mischief boots and they looked like little cartoon boots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were these huge, huge red boots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were like hideous and dumb and funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so many celebrities were wearing them and they were all over the news." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re all over whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s incredible for marketing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think in 2023, we saw a few brands, that one that I just mentioned being a great example, utilizing insane products that are ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to market their brand, you know, get attention." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think there s going to be more of that in 2024, like even more than there was in 2023." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s a game nowadays for, for companies to win the attention of the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s very hard to do because there s a lot of entertaining shit on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think a lot of brands are going to throw" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a bunch of crazy ideas at the wall to see what will stick and what will go viral." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as a result, there s just going to be more silly, goofy, borderline gimmicky pieces out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think some of them are fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s something that you can truly wear on a consistent basis, great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s something to buy, even if it s a little gimmicky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes gimmicky things actually can be timeless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very rare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think what distinguishes a gimmicky piece that s just gimmicky and a gimmicky piece that actually is a good purchase is whether or not it s usable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you use it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you wear it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s something you can t actually wear, then it s just a gimmick and it s a waste of money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if it s something you can actually wear and it s something that you genuinely enjoy and think is amusing and funny, then great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing I ve been seeing on the runway that s been shocking to me" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is super, super high-waisted pants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "skirts, shorts, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about super high-waisted, like up to the rib cage, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen these types of pants paired with bra-like tops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen these pants paired with shirts just simply tucked in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve seen it on multiple runways, and that is a sign to me that it s coming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Super, extremely high-waisted pants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally will probably not participate in this trend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do not like how it looks on me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a very long torso to begin with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really don t need it to look any shorter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you never know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might try something on and be like, this is great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This actually works really well for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing is, these super, super high-waisted pants are not like normal high-waisted pants that cut off right at your waist, right at the middle of your waist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they go a little bit too high on purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of an awkward design." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it looks awkward on, but I think that s sort of the point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know, sometimes we wear clothes because they give off a certain feeling and that s the number one priority." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they give off this certain feeling and that s all we care about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like that s what these pants are for." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These pants are not necessarily meant to be flattering in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re meant to have personality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I predict clothes that are very handy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re talking about pants that have a bunch of pockets on them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re talking about a pair of boots that has a pocket in it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re talking about a shirt that has a bunch of pockets in it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Clothes that are really useful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Useful in the sense that you can put a bunch of shit in your clothes, not actually poop, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, you can put your belongings into pockets on your clothes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s what takes clothing from being functional to really functional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, whoa, there s a place to put my keys, there s a place to put my phone, there s a place to put this, there s a place to put my snack, there s a place to put that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, I just can see that being a trend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And whether or not the little pockets are always useful is almost irrelevant because I think it s gonna be more of a style thing than it is actually a functional thing, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is very much utilitarian, you know, workwear, sturdy fabric, comfy, boxy silhouettes, lots of pockets, maybe even too many pockets." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s going to be happening in 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I got, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is all I have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see if I m right or wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know your fashion predictions for 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would love to hear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can DM me at anythinggoes and let me know what your fashion predictions are for 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really want to know what you think is going to come up, what s going to happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so excited to see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like the one thing I m excited about for the new year is like, what is going to be trendy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I mean, I m excited for other things, too, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just something so amusing about seeing what a new year brings in fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we shall see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, you can tune in Thursdays and Sundays, anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch video though, exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can shop online or use the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my last episode for a few weeks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m taking a few weeks off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for the holidays, you know, going to go be with family and relax and rest my little brain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ll be back on January 11th, 2024 for a whole nother year of Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the weeks that I take off, I ll be re-uploading some of my interviews that I did over the course of the year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, maybe re-listen to those." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ll pop up on your feed and you can re-listen to those if you want." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there will be nothing new until January 11th, 2024." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Until then, I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope you have the most incredible holidays." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love and appreciate you all and I ll talk to you next year." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, here we go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part two of breakup advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part one was about the breakup itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we re talking about the two weeks before the breakup, we re talking about the breakup itself, and we re talking about the week or two that follow the breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s part one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you haven t listened to that yet, go ahead and listen to that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is part two." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is about the equally as challenging and arguably more complicated phase of a breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The months following the breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In some ways, it s easier because you re through the thick of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve survived the first week or two after the breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got a lot of tears out, but now you kind of have to get back to your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s why it s complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the first week or two, you can kind of lay in bed and cry and get the bare minimum done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at a certain point, you have to get back to your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in the months following the breakup, you have to get back to your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to figure out what the hell to do with your time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you have all this" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "time that you used to dedicate to your partner, but now it s just free." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be really easy to use that time in a negative way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use that time in a detrimental way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so used to putting your energy towards your partner that you can end up using this new chunk of time that you have to continue to focus on your partner, but now in a far more harmful way because you re not together anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s what makes the months following a breakup so challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Utilizing that new free time to benefit yourself in your life instead of using that time to continue to give energy to your partner who is now not your partner anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it sounds harsh, but it s really not that harsh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the truth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before we get into the advice, I want to be clear that this advice is for safe and harmless romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For advice on toxic or dangerous relationships, please contact professionals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a professional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the hell I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Please contact a professional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First piece of advice seems pretty obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, it s much easier said than done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s time to focus on yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know you re like, Emma, shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could Google search that right now and find that exact answer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know, I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s a lot easier said than done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I have some advice on how you can focus on yourself successfully." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s one thing to say to somebody going through a breakup, focus on yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s another thing to figure out how to execute that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And based on my experience, you know, I have a few methods." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, make some goals for yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Long-term goals and short-term goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And make a plan for the immediate future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make this time about self-development." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really make it a priority in your life to work towards goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you can start this by writing it down in a journal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can open up a journal and start jotting down some goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to make more friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to find a hobby that fulfills me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to get a raise at work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to get a 3.8 GPA next semester." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever it might be, just start jotting down goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not really into journaling, you can do this in your imagination, but I do think it s helpful to journal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Depends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "start writing down goals, larger goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then from there, start writing down different things that you can do on a day-to-day basis that will get you closer to reaching those goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really map this all out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve so much more free time now that you re single." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have the time to map this shit out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t say that you don t have the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you have the time to go on a date every once in a while with your significant other, you have time to jot down your goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have time to make a plan on how you re going to reach those goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad always says to me when I m going through a hard time, to make a plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s really what this is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re going through a rough time, it can be really easy to get off track." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think it can be really helpful to have goals and to have actionable steps that you can take to get closer to reaching those goals so that you have something to reference." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In moments when you re feeling like everything is falling apart, you re like, I m losing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m missing my ex so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m falling into bad habits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m focusing energy on them still when I need to be focusing energy on me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can either open up your journal or close your eyes and go into the archives in your brain and find an actionable step that s ultimately getting you closer to a goal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember during one breakup, I was like, I really want to start exercising." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t exercise at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not in good shape." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I walk up the stairs and I m out of breath." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not physically fit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a goal for me to start exercising more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, every time I d have a rough moment, I d go for a walk or I d go to the gym or I d go to a workout class." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not every time, because you can t really do that every time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because that was one of my goals, I was able to use that as a tool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also gone through breakups where it s become a priority for me to be more social." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so in challenging moments, I would text a friend and be like, hey, what are you doing tomorrow?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s grab coffee." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there s something so powerful about having goals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really, really helps you stay on track." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it really, really helps you focus on yourself without even trying too hard." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also really recommend trying to make your goals your escape in moments when your mind wanders." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "During a breakup, there are going to be so many moments when your mind wanders and starts thinking about your ex, and that s normal and inevitable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the past, I ve really tried to train my brain to reroute and start thinking about my goals in those moments when I m thinking about an X. It s not always possible, and that s okay too, but if you can try to train your brain to reroute back to something that s benefiting you, it can be a great practice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do that with a lot of things in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I feel imposter syndrome, I try to replace that feeling of inadequacy with feelings of gratitude for what I do have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve sort of trained my brain to reroute from feeling like I don t deserve what I have, etc., etc., to just being grateful for what I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you, with imposter syndrome specifically, that was so helpful, and I applied that to thinking about an ex during a breakup, and it really helped me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But none of that is possible unless you have it sort of mapped out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be very clear what your goals are and what steps you need to take to get there or else you might lose it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s really important to try to figure out how to create a life that you enjoy without a partner at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the past, I have relied on romantic partners to complete my life, to make my life feel complete." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m somebody who ultimately wants to have a family and have kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So one of my long-term goals is to find a partner that I can be with for as long as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, my parents are divorced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You never know, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it is a goal for me to find a long-term partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it might seem kind of counterintuitive for me to create a life that I enjoy without a romantic partner, because it is my goal to have a romantic partner one day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I truly believe and many people truly believe that in order to be in a happy, healthy relationship, you have to have a life outside of that relationship that fulfills you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, creating a fulfilling life is an ongoing journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be moments when your life doesn t feel fulfilling and you need to get your hands dirty and figure out why and then get your hands dirty again and work on getting to a place where you feel more fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so important, especially during a breakup, to work on building a life that is fulfilling with or without a partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the perfect time to do this because you need to be single right now anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, listen, I m not going to say what you should and shouldn t do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t recommend getting into another relationship anytime soon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You at least have some months, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have time to figure out how to find fulfillment from within." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us feel incomplete in our lives without a partner, but that leads us to failed relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when we re putting too much pressure on our partners to make our lives fulfilling, then our expectations for how they behave and what they bring into our lives are too high, and they ll never be able to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fulfill those expectations, and then we ll end up disappointed with them in the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this starts with taking care of yourself physically and mentally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eating nutritious foods, exercising, finding self-care practices that work for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some people, that s meditating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some people, that s journaling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some people, that s taking a bath with a glass of wine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For some people, that s taking a walk every night with their dog." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s different for everybody, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really prioritizing your physical and mental health is number one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that helping others can really help you find fulfillment in your own life without a partner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Helping others really makes life more fulfilling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, helping others is broad, is vague." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it could be something large like volunteering somewhere, you know, doing work for your community, doing work for charity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it can also be something smaller." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be tipping a little extra at dinner when you have the funds to do so." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just being a little bit kinder to everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be complimenting more people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it doesn t necessarily have to be something grandiose, but I ll tell you that will make you feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crazy how much it makes you feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crazy how much more fulfilling your life becomes when you make an effort to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is also a time to nurture your hobbies and interests." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, you have more free time now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so you can go and take that cooking class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, you can go and paint that painting you ve been wanting to paint." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can get really good at yoga now, you know, like there are so many things that you could do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just have to figure out what you really enjoy doing, and then put a little bit more time into it, nurture it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, a fulfilling life means a life filled with good people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Family, friends, co-workers, people you share a hobby with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having good people around you makes you feel fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having good people around you that you don t want to have sex with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nurture your relationship with your family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nurture your relationship with your friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go out and make new friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a time to build a community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Community is so important during a breakup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It changes everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have people around you who love you, this whole process is a thousand times easier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you feel discouraged because you re like, I don t have that right now," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go find that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t make excuses and say, no, but like, I don t have any friends right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You fucking got this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start studying at a coffee shop or working at a coffee shop and just start complimenting people who walk in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take a cooking class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know why I keep saying that, but take a cooking class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start talking to the person who sits next to you at school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start talking to the person who sits next to you at work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To the best of your ability, try to build a community." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you already have a community, just continue to nurture that community because happiness is only real when shared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a whole episode on that quote, but it s true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A fulfilling life is filled with good people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life means nothing without other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, reframe the way you think about focusing on yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be easy to be like, I don t want to focus on myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to focus on my relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to focus on my ex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to think about me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it can be really helpful to be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this actually is kind of great in some ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might have to really think about it, but try to get excited about the fact that the time that you used to put towards your partner can now be put towards doing things for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now you get to wake up at whatever time you want on a Sunday morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to wake up when your partner wakes up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can watch the TV shows that you want to watch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can eat what you want for dinner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can work on your hobbies and passions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can schedule your day however you want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to call or text anybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I mean, I guess you still probably do for your family and friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like, you don t have to tell your significant other where you are, what you re doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope, you re free." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to see it as a positive thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be hard and it can be sort of unnatural." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But try to indulge in that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now let s discuss managing the painful thoughts, because they will come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are a lot of different types of painful thoughts that will come, but they will all come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And of course they will, because breakups are painful and they re terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t control what thoughts come into our mind, but we can control how we respond to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so let s go through some of the painful thoughts that are going to come up and how I recommend combating them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be moments when you re drowning in nostalgia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re thinking about all of the beautiful moments that you had with your ex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know that time when they farted on the train when you guys were taking the train somewhere and it was so funny because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It smelled so bad and everybody on the train had to plug their nose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it was so cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, oh my God, the way that they used to kiss my cheek in that certain spot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, you re going to have all that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In those moments, it s so important to remember a quote that my dad always tells me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know who originally said it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad did not come up with it, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He always says, the rose we remember, the thorns we forget, which basically means we remember the sweet moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our brains have this way of blocking out the terrible memories and just remembering the good ones." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is so true in general in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look back on vacations, I only ever remember the good moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember this one trip I went on was a fucking mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everything about it was terrible and I was like depressed the whole time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look back on it though, it still feels fond to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when in reality I was miserable the entire time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember the handful of good moments so vividly and I can barely picture the bad moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why I m even bringing them up now is because my dad always uses that trip as an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, Emma, you were fucking miserable on that trip." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, oh, I know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But remember when we did that one thing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain is tricking you a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, there were beautiful memories, but there were also terrible moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why you re broken up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, there were terrible moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to remember that your mind is playing tricks on you, and you can t fully trust your brain in these moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re drunk on nostalgia." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s important to bring yourself back down to earth and see things rationally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re drunk on nostalgia, you re not remembering things properly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so in these moments, it can be kind of helpful to remind yourself of the challenges that you faced in your relationship, the terrible moments that you faced in your relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because that gives you a more balanced view of what things were really like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can still be sad and nostalgic, but reminding yourself of the challenges, too, will lessen that pain a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thought you may have is that the pain will never go away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy to think, I will feel this shitty forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you won t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whenever I m experiencing pain, I always forget that it s going to pass every single time without fail until somebody reminds me, but it really always does pass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll still feel pain again in the future." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it might come up here and there, but you re in the worst of it right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be patient because you will feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t think you will, but you will." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You also might find yourself feeling like this pain that you re feeling is ruining your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s getting in the way of your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might even feel like you re wasting time experiencing this pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might feel antsy to get it over with because you re like, I m not functioning right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is not benefiting my life experiencing this pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "False." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pain leads to growth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not wasting time by experiencing pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to expedite the process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sitting with the pain, experiencing the pain, and coming out the other side with an epiphany about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might not know what it is immediately, but it will always come." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is growth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, if you try to hide the pain, if you try to suppress the pain, you ll only prolong things and waste even more time if that s the way that you view experiencing pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you accept it as it comes, and you allow yourself to feel it, and you allow it to teach you something, it s incredibly beneficial and it is not a waste of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You also may feel like you re never going to feel love like that again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re never going to feel that way towards another person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, false." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have done some research on this and humans have" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the capacity to feel electric love romantically over and over and over again in their lives." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is scientifically proven." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So take that piece of science and let that rock you to sleep tonight because you will feel love again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may feel like your relationship was one of one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was irreplaceable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll never feel that way again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why that s true is because the way that you ll love the next person is a little bit different because it s a different person, but the level in which you love them can be at the same intensity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You absolutely can and will feel that way again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, you might start obsessing about what your ex is doing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they dating someone new?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they happier without me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they talking shit about me to their friends and family?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what are they doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is my ex doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can drown in those thoughts, but what you have to remember is what they re doing is out of your control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing you can do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I know it s a lot easier said than done to not worry about the things that we can t control, but to the best of your ability, try to remind yourself of that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can also find yourself thinking that you re unlovable and terrible and disgusting and hideous because you may have gotten rejected" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if you didn t get rejected initially and you re the one who broke up with your partner, you can still find yourself feeling unlovable, terrible, hideous, because maybe you expected your ex to come crawling back to you sooner and they haven t yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you feel guilty about what you did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel guilty about breaking up with your significant other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you broke up with your significant other because you thought that you were a bad partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there are many different scenarios, but both parties can feel like they re unlovable, they re terrible, they re awful, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, we all make mistakes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of us are perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You aren t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your ex isn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Forgive yourself and accept yourself for who you are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, a lot easier said than done, but really work on reframing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Say, listen, I m not perfect, but neither are they." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just going to work on becoming the best version of myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know for sure that there s somebody out there who will fall in love with that because that s true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thought we may experience is, I need to figure out how this is going to really end." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we going to get back together one day?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we never going to speak again?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to figure out what s going to happen next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am so bad about this one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really love to do this because I m a planner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you something about me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a planner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love to put everything into my Google calendar and have everything scheduled down to the hour, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I m going through a breakup, I m like, I need to know if I need to be planning a wedding in six years with this person even though we re broken up now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to know, you know, because I need to start looking at venues." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to start setting up meetings for that in three years because the wedding s in six years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also need to know when they re going to text me next so that I can write that down in my calendar so I can clear my schedule for the whole day so that I can cry about it or whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a planner, so I fixate on trying to predict what s going to happen next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, we can t worry about what we can t control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in these moments when I m obsessing trying to plan, you know, what s going to happen, what s going to happen, I just have to remind myself, I can t control this, so I can t worry about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to let it go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, with all of these painful thoughts," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s as simple as just reminding yourself that what you re thinking is normal and that it s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, you know, it s normal to feel unlovable when you re going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s normal to convince yourself that you re unlovable when you re going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes all it takes to break the cycle is just to say, no, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am who I am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I accept that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have flaws, but I also have strengths." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I m just going to continue to work on myself and one day somebody will find me and will love me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost about having a positive sentiment stored in the archive of your brain so that anytime you have one of these painful thoughts, you immediately have something to combat it with that s rooted in truth and reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you re going through a breakup, you can spiral." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, you can spiral." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you will spiral." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but those sentiments will definitely help." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, next piece of advice, try not to contact them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really attempt the no contact method." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really believe in the no contact method." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The no contact method is basically where you do not contact your ex for a certain amount of time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Based on my experience, I would say ideally, honestly," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have I ever done this successfully?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but because I ve failed at this, I know that this would be successful if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would recommend like six months to a year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding because I have never successfully gone no contact with an ex and I regret it every time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, because if you do it too soon, when you re both still experiencing a lot of pain, it gets messy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, it gets messy, and it ends up causing more pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so tempting to reach out because you miss them, you want to try again, you feel like something was left unsaid, but you both need to grow and figure out what you want in life before it s responsible to speak again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to get to a place where you could live without them before you speak again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s genuinely how I feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some might think that that s extreme and that s unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m being a hypocrite because I ve actually never done it successfully." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I guess except for when my breakups have been permanent, when the no contact has lasted years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I have done it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Huh." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, but now that I think about it, I ve like gotten into new relationships six months after the last one, almost every single time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m fucking back to back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I never even have a chance, I guess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hmm, something to think about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s time for Emma to be single for a long period of time because I ve never really been single for that long." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, if you do contact each other again and it s too soon, I can almost guarantee it will cause chaos." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you contact each other again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, well, maybe we could go grab a coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next thing you know, you re back together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, and the next thing you know, you re breaking up again, because neither of you have grown enough and you ve just started the whole process over again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is a fucking nightmare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it can be tempting sometimes when you re so sad and you miss this person so much and you just want to see them and you just want to hang out again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That leads to getting back together a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And getting back together too soon usually leads to another breakup, which then literally starts the whole thing over again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in a moment where you want to text your ex, you want to rekindle, but you know it s too soon because you re not healed yet, ask yourself, do I want to start this whole process over again?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve come so far." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I really want to start this over again?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ll tell you, you broke up for a reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You broke up for a reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both of you have some growing to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growth doesn t happen overnight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t even happen in two months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happens in six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happens in a year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It happens in five years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Six months is like generous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s when you have minor things to fix." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it takes five years to grow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you get back together before the growth happens, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s give another scenario." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you start talking again and one person wants to rekindle the relationship and the other person doesn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, it causes more hurt for the person who got rejected because they wanted to" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "try things again and the other person didn t, than if things were just left unsaid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if things are just left unsaid, then there s no rejection in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hurts ten times worse to be told and reminded again that your partner doesn t want to be with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easier and less painful to just leave it alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of it like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine your breakup is a cut, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this gaping wound on your leg when you first break up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every day that goes by, this wound on your leg starts to scab up, and eventually the wound will get fully scabbed up, and then eventually the scab will go away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you ll be left with a tiny little scar because breakups never leave you unscathed, now do they?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Relationships never leave you unscathed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will always have a little scar there, but that cut can get hit and scratched again and it doesn t hurt as bad anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t hurt nearly as bad anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe every once in a while the scar will get bumped in a certain way and it" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it ll hurt really bad again, but for the most part, it s a healed wound." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, when I think of the healing process of a breakup, every time you open up a line of communication with your ex, you re picking off some pieces of the scab, and a little bit of blood s starting to come out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re making the cut worse again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re taking a few steps back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, sometimes you can t control yourself, and you re like, I just need to tell this person happy birthday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still making it worse a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes that s worth it for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you really want to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the more you indulge in communication with them, the more of that scab you re ripping off." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you just have to know that and you have to weigh the pros and cons because that just prolongs the healing process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, you got to restrain from stalking their social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This one s tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because you want to see what the fuck they re up to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just went from being so close with this person, arguably as close to a person as you can be, to being strangers again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s incredibly unsettling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s deeply unnerving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re attached to this person, and it can help you feel connected to them if you re keeping up with what they re doing on social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I think for some people, this is fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if your ex doesn t really use social media that much, they only post once a month, and it s like a picture of them holding up a fish that they just caught." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or it s like a picture of them, I don t know, playing soccer, like they re a soccer player." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they don t use social media as like a diary, they don t update their social media on a day-to-day basis, you might be fine to continue following them and maybe even looking at their page every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re not an avid social media user, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in this day and age, most people are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to really try not to look at their social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about muting them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At times it might make sense to block them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t necessarily love that method unless this person has really truly wronged you, in which case I think you block." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you guys are still on good terms, I don t think you should block." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be sort of tempting though because you re like, I just want to block this person out completely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that might be a little extreme." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They cheated on you, block that bitch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, but try to get them out of your feet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s step one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two, try to prevent yourself from going out of your way to stop them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be tempting, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to see who they re hanging out with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to see what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to see who they re following." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they following anyone new?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they dating someone new?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go down a rabbit hole trying to figure out what the fuck they re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, I ve done it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have fucking done it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I remember with one of my exes, I was like, I figured out that they had a new girlfriend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, it was so, actually by the time they had a new girlfriend, I was kind of relaxed, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was, I don t know, probably six months into the breakup and I was starting to feel strong again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it kind of ruffled my feathers, but I was like, listen, good for them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I was able to actually be like good for them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God bless their souls." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I found that out immediately through stalking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I knew immediately when they were dating because I stalked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even before they were saying it, I figured it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was crazy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s why this is bad for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, you can start to assume things about their life based on their social media that are not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They start following new people on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can start" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "obsessing over if they re dating one of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re posting on their Instagram that they re so happy and their life is perfect and you can start to believe that illusion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how social media is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all an illusion, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have no idea what the fuck s going on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things might look fine and dandy on the outside, like they re just thriving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one is ever thriving as much in real life as they look like they are on social media, ever, without fail." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re in this vulnerable state of mind, it s just better to not go down that rabbit hole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re too fragile and you re not in a rational state of mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not in a stable state of mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy for you to spiral." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s better to just avoid all of that altogether." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, you might see something that you really don t want to see, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some would argue that seeing something you don t want to see can give you closure, but I think it s much healthier to try to find closure within yourself instead of finding it through something you didn t want to see on social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mentioned this in the last episode, so I won t go too deep into it, but I also think it s important to remove all signs of them from your home." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take down photos from the wall, take gifts that they gave you and put them in the garage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remove all signs of this person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not in a disrespectful way, necessarily, but just getting all triggers out of your sight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything that could trigger a memory of them, out of your sight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, try not to ask mutual friends what they re up to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As tempting as it is," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just know that this information might hurt you, and even if it doesn t hurt you, you re just better off not knowing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The further away you can get from this person, the better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to know what they re up to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That only takes a little bit more scab off the wound." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a weird way, it s like connecting with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things, stalking their social media, asking mutual friends what they re up to," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shooting them a text, all of these things reconnect you with the person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every time you reconnect with the person, you rip a little bit more scab off the wound and you prolong the healing process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And lastly, indulge in nostalgia when you really need to, but don t overindulge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have moments where you want to go and look at old photos and you want to just cry and you want to miss that person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Allow yourself to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I d argue it s responsible to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you re looking back at good memories and stuff, I think that that s healthy to an extent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a few months out from the breakup, you need to get back to your life, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you need to start setting some parameters, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "15 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to give myself 15 minutes to look at old photos and fucking cry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to set a timer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have done this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve randomly stumbled upon a photo of me and an ex and just started crying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ve started to scroll and look at more photos of us and just cry more, cry more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I ve taken a moment to pause and say, OK, I m going to give myself 10 more minutes of this and then I m done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve set a fucking timer and let myself just cry and look." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the second the timer goes off, nope, phone s off, back to my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, last piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Distract yourself responsibly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is honestly the most important, in my opinion, because when you re going through a breakup, you re vulnerable and temptation is everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to distract yourself during a breakup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to distract yourself during a breakup, but you have to do so responsibly or else you re just going to cause more pain for yourself long term." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when there are all of these tempting, instantly gratifying distractions available, you can be more prone to participating in these things because you re already vulnerable, you re going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so important to try not to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, don t rush into something new to numb the pain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so tempting to go through a breakup and immediately be like, I just need to find somebody to have sex with like now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, you know, even like I need to find somebody to make out with right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I just need to go find somebody now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to get on a dating app." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to start going on dates now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times during a breakup, your ego is bruised." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel unlovable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "uncertain about what you provide in a romantic scenario." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you want to be proved wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be proved that you are lovable, that you are hot and awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, romance is an incredible distraction in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, just romance in itself is a great distraction." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are many reasons why we might try to get under somebody to get over somebody, as they always say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think it s important to be careful with this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I do think that there is some value in maybe getting it out of your system a little bit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, go make out with a few people, maybe have sex with somebody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get it out of your system, but I think it s important not to overdo it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is something valuable there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will admit that even though there are some beneficial things about hooking up with somebody after a breakup, I also think that it can make things worse sometimes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I made a whole episode about hookup culture and why I think it s kind of messy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like very challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are kind of a lot of cons that come with it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to hear me talk about hookup culture more in depth, go check out that episode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I won t" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "beat it to death now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think what ultimately happens when you hook up with somebody too soon after a breakup is that you expect the emptiness that you feel due to the breakup to go away after you hook up with somebody." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, once I get this first person over with and I get it out of my system, I m going to feel better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to feel completely removed from my ex." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll feel free and the sadness will be gone and everything will be great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what s going to happen?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the emptiness will come back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it does, it comes back harder, because now you re experiencing the disappointment that the pain didn t go away, along with missing your ex like you did before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, you can compare your ex to the person that you just hooked up with and a lot of times your ex will look better because you actually had a relationship with that person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You had a foundation there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With this new random person that you hooked up with, you probably don t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I do think that it can be nice to get it over with and break the cycle because it can at times help you feel a bit further removed from your ex." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are risks because if you expect the pain to go away," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it won t and then it ll only cause more pain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I made a whole episode about it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go listen to that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also important not to find a rebound relationship." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it can be so tempting to just go and start dating somebody else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t want to date somebody else until you re fully healed from this last person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because guess what?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you go into another thing too soon, you re going to end up fucking that up and having another breakup." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re going to have a whole nother wound that you have to deal with." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tempting to be the first one to move on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I want to start dating somebody new before my ex does." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But can I tell you something?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, it s really admirable when I see someone go through a breakup and not rush into something new." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really admirable to me because it shows me that that person is truly independent." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t need anyone else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it genuinely inspires me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every time I m going through a breakup and I find myself feeling that pressure, I try to remind myself of that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously it doesn t work because I end up dating somebody new so fast." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just, I m just, I m such a lover over here." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love being in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being a girlfriend, don t I?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, during the first week or two of a breakup, you want to indulge in life, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to lay in bed all day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to watch movies all day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to neglect your responsibilities, and it s kind of okay to do that for a little bit, but you can t do that for too long." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t continue to overindulge, and so it s very important not to overindulge in distractions that end up making you feel like shit and lowering your self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to go and party too much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to be drinking too much or using various substances." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to drown yourself in social media and entertainment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to get too comfortable and stop taking care of yourself physically and mentally." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to start slacking on work to do things that just feel good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Balance in our lives builds our self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when we have a balance between discipline and play, we feel good about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re taking care of ourselves mentally and physically, we feel good about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Healing from a breakup is also healing self-esteem a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you overindulge, you re only lowering your self-esteem more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you still have to have a level of discipline with yourself, but it will make you feel better long-term." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the gratification is delayed, but it s worth it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many ways to distract yourself positively." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Socialize in responsible ways that are uplifting and have a net positive impact in your life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hang out in safe environments with people who bring out the best in you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have a little glass of wine, maybe have three, but don t do it every night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, don t go to the bar every night, don t go to the club every night." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep it responsible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of going out and hooking up with people left and right, focus on making new friends, especially in the category of people that you re sexually attracted to, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a responsible way to get a little flirty while protecting yourself from getting into something too soon, which would obviously end in catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "while working towards your goal of finding a new partner." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best relationships are founded on friendship." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the best move is to try to make as many friends as you can with people who could potentially be a partner down the line." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is advice that my dad gave me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad gives me all of the advice and then I just steal it and don t give credit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I always give credit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my dad always tells me, he s like, you just need to go make friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go make friends with guys." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop trying to like hook up with that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go be friends with guys." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to date them now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get with them now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be friends with them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe it ll turn into something more when you re ready." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re not ready right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So fucking stop and go and make some friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sort of satisfies the craving for like a hookup in a way." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you can start developing crushes and stuff when you re making friends." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And arguably one of the most fun times in a relationship is when you just have a crush on them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that hookup culture has sort of ruined this idea of being friends first." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s really a shame because I think it s a great way to heal during a breakup while simultaneously satisfying that urge to sort of move on, you know, hook up with somebody else, date somebody else." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s pretty much all I got, except for the obvious, which is that you got to just feel every feeling as it comes and continue to be patient with yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a linear healing process." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be good days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be bad days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no sort of timeline." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, I Googled breakup timeline for women." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just curious to see what came up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, breakup timeline for women versus men." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it said, you know, the first few weeks for women are really tough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then like a month after, they re feeling better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then three months after, oh, now they re totally fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re completely healed." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it showed the guy timeline." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was like, first day, the guy s feeling relieved." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the first week, the guy s feeling all right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then like three months after, the guy is a mess and finally realizes what they ve lost." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that might be true for some people, but I have gone through breakups where I ve been totally fine the first week, totally fine the second week." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two months in, all of a sudden, I m a fucking wreck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A wreck." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two months in, all of a sudden, it s like, what the fuck is going on?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, everything was fine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought I was over it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then two months in, it s like, oh my God, I miss this person so much." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need them back now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to see them now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not linear, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t hold yourself to some sort of timeline." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And really just let yourself cry and feel the pain as it comes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you fight it, you prolong the process." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And Lord knows, the process does not need to be prolonged, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s long enough." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, that s all my breakup advice." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, listen, it s nothing new." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not inventing anything here, but this is all based off of my experience." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are tips and tricks that have worked for me, and I hope that these are helpful for you, unless you re not going through a breakup, then lucky you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re one of those few people out there who will never go through a breakup because you marry your first love," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "live happily ever after." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "God bless you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do I keep saying God bless?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in a holy mood today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, maybe that s good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see where that gets me for the rest of the day." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is actually 11 p.m." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "right now when I m recording this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not much left to my day today, but I really appreciate you all listening to this and hanging out, and I m just sending you all so much love." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this episode and want to tune into the next one, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday, stream anywhere you listen to podcasts, watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to check out my coffee company, check it out, chamberlaincoffee.com, at chamberlaincoffee on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can shop online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out our new lattes in a can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They may be in a retailer near you, so go on the store locator." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re really good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A new oat milk version, a latte with oat milk, comes in some fun flavors, so go find it in a retailer near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Breakups suck, you guys, but they re honestly epic because you really do transform at the end." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have never once gone through a breakup and come out the other side worse off." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always come out the other side" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "with so much more wisdom." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something to be excited about." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we love breakups." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re actually fun, you guys." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, they re actually fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, they re not fun." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I ll talk to you guys later." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope you have a phenomenal rest of your day." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of us have either experienced a breakup, are currently going through a breakup, or will at some point in the future experience a breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Breakups are almost an inevitable part of life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can t say that because there are a few people out there" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who never have to go through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They meet their first love, and then they marry their first love, and then they die with their first love, and it s just beautiful, and everyone lives happily ever after, except, you know, inevitably, there is death." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even with some, I bet they ve died at the same time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people are just lucky, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They get to go through their life without romantic heartbreak." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I envy those people, though, because I do think that breakups, despite how fucking awful they are, they can be really transformative, often in a positive way, long term." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They really teach you shit about yourself and they are incredible opportunities for growth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So today we re talking about breakups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Specifically, I m going to be giving breakup advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as always, I m not particularly qualified." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gone through a handful of breakups throughout my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually one of them was weird because neither of us really liked each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So neither of us were sad and it didn t really feel like a breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, Oh, okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank God this is over." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wait, thank God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like never shed a tear about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was bizarre and unusual, but I ve gone through a handful of real ones as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, I ve learned a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I will say is it does get easier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember when I was going through my first breakup, everybody was telling me, Emma, this is the worst one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first breakup was literally a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never felt pain like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m fortunate that I had never felt pain like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually a blessing because, you know, there are things that rival the pain of a breakup, many things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just fortunate to have never experienced something as painful as that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the most painful thing I ve ever experienced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not true, but like, that s not true now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the time it was true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was one of the most catastrophic experiences in my life thus far." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sounds dramatic, but it s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since then, I think it s gotten easier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why is because now I know that I can feel the same feeling twice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you fall in love for the first time, you re like, okay, this is never going to happen again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m never going to feel this way towards someone again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when you re able to prove that wrong and you find somebody else," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you find out, wait a minute, I can feel this again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then it hurts less." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But don t be mistaken." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No breakups are fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "None of them are fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think that the first one is the worst." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I m saying here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be doing multiple episodes of breakup advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is episode one, where I m going to be talking about the period before the breakup, the breakup itself, and then the week or two following the breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be giving advice for that chunk of the timeline." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stay tuned for more breakup advice because it s coming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And before I get started into the advice, I have to say, this advice is for safe, harmless, romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For advice on toxic and dangerous relationships, contact professionals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop listening to this right now and contact a professional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, let s talk about before the breakup happens, because this is a crucial, tense, weird period of time that is often overlooked when discussing breakup advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a lot of misery that comes with this time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So much ruminating, so much overthinking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d argue this is sort of when the breakup begins." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us start processing a breakup before it even happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we feel that something s off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s in ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s in our partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we start to feel pain already." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we re like, this is disappearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You start to feel it slipping between your fingers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, this relationship is dying and it s not fully dead yet, but it s dying and I can see it dying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s something brutal about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re the person in the relationship who can tell that your partner wants to break up with you, it can be so easy to just keep the conversation within your own mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ask yourself, did I do something?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I overreacting?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they just not think I m pretty anymore?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Should I change something about myself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there something I can do to revive this relationship?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might start changing your behavior." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might even start changing what you look like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obsessing over how you can be perfect to try to get this person back into it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might stay up all night trying to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the only way to know for sure is to bring it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know it s scary when you re the person who still wants to be in the relationship and you can feel the other person slipping away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so scary to bring it up because you re like, fuck, if I bring it up, if I initiate the conversation, then they probably will break up with me and I don t want them to break up with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m just going to try to fix it without bringing it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you what, that s not gonna work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop speculating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop torturing yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I can t tell you how much I ve tortured myself in this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve spent months of my life miserable, fucking miserable, just trying to figure out what was wrong, but being too afraid to just ask because I was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will be the end of the relationship if I ask." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll bring it to the forefront of their mind and then they ll be like, oh, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I do want to break up with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the breakup will happen, which is what ultimately you re trying to avoid if you re the one who wants to stay in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you this right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are harming yourself more by not bringing it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You are better off breaking up and beginning your healing journey sooner than you are prolonging the situation by not asking what the fuck is up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So bring it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Say, hey, something s off with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t put a finger on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what s going on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did I do something wrong?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you unhappy?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bring it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I recommend, honestly, writing it down beforehand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Take notes on what you ve been picking up on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be very clear with them about what you ve been experiencing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times you might bring it up and they ll say, nothing s wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just am going through something else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it ll open up a phenomenal conversation about what your partner is going through in their life that they haven t yet told you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of times we underestimate our instincts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can feel when shit s off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if your partner comes back at you and says, no, nothing s wrong with the relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all, it s like, it s me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Challenge that a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be like, are you sure though?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because this does feel personal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they re like, no, it s not personal at all, then say, can you be a good partner to me while going through what you re going through?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, is there a way that we can meet in the middle?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t take their answer at face value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re like, no, it s not you, it s me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be like, okay, yeah, but I m unhappy in this relationship and I don t feel loved by you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we need to figure some shit out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not treating me right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re going to either need to figure it out through working together with me or we need to end this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes the person who doesn t want to do the breaking up, in fact, wants to be in the relationship ends up having to do the breaking up because they feel so strongly that the other person isn t into it anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ends up flipping on its head." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, let s say you are the one who wants to break up with your partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, let s flip the script here now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Depending on the situation, I think the first step is to try to pinpoint the issues that you re experiencing in the relationship and try to figure out if they re fixable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times things can be worked through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of us, especially young people, expect relationships to be perfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the second the honeymoon phase is over, everyone s freaking out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, wait a minute, the spark is gone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t love each other anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no more excitement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we have bad days." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not the romantic story that I ve always dreamt of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just kind of how relationships go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s important to ask yourself, why do you want to break up with them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to break up with them for some serious, serious reasons that are going to be really challenging to fix?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is this just a normal part of being in a relationship and maybe it s worth working through?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or are you just not in a place to be in a relationship period?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s also an example of an unfixable sort of scenario." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s important to figure out why you want to break up with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really, really, really figure that out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I think it s important to heavily consider what you re losing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in a relationship, it can be so easy to take the thing that you ve built for granted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to ask yourself, would you rather make it work with them or possibly lose them forever?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a misconception that people have is that, oh, I could just get them back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can never rely on that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes two to tango." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you break up with somebody, you re setting them free." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you break up with somebody with the expectation that you could go back to them whenever you want, you re kind of lying to yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that, that s being insensitive with the other person s emotions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ultimately want to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to get back together with them at some point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of in the back of your head, like, oh, I could always fall back on this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just unfair to them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to really, really, really put yourself in your own shoes if you were to lose them forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, close your eyes and think about what it would feel like to never speak to them again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that something that you can handle?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s not, then maybe you should work harder to fix what you have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you don t get to have your cake and eat it too in this life, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve learned this the hard way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anytime in life I ve tried to have my cake and eat it too, I have been rudely reminded that it just doesn t work that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will always bite you in the ass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you start to treat your partner badly as a result of pondering a breakup with them and it s just ruining your life to a point where you start to build resentment, you have lost your privileges to ponder any longer and now you have to communicate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you start treating them like shit, nope, now you have to put it all out on the table because it s selfish otherwise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, they already probably feel it coming." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to planning the breakup, I know it might sound ridiculous because it s like planning a fucking meeting or something or like scheduling when you re going to do your homework." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds insane to say, OK, now it s time to schedule the breakup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, I actually do think that this is crucial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have busy lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have commitments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I truly recommend finding the right time to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to do it on a random Monday night when you have the whole work week ahead of you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Terrible idea because spoiler alert, you re going to be going through it and you want to have some space to go through it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I recommend a Thursday, a Friday, a Saturday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think those are the best days to do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, sometimes a breakup happens and it comes out of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it explodes out of a conversation on accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t always control when you do your breakup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re the person doing the breaking up and you have some control over when the conversation is going to happen, save it for a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s, I guess, if you have a traditional work week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s talk about the breakup conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The conversation itself is one of the worst conversations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I guess it s not one of the worst." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are worse conversations, far worse conversations that you can have in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But wow, breakup conversations can be fucking brutal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes there are more than one of them, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There aren t always going to be just one singular breakup conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you ll have two." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you ll have five." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that s what it takes in order to agree upon a decision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But whether you have one breakup conversation or you have six, this advice applies to all types of breakup conversations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Advice for both partners." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause this hurts for both people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know this because I ve been on both sides of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve broken up with somebody and I ve been broken up with, and I will tell you, it s easy to assume that being the person being broken up with hurts worse, but in a weird way, they can both hurt equally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was shocked by that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first breakup I was broken up with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s sort of how I started it out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, Oh my God, you know, I wish I was the one doing the breaking up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just seems so much easier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have now had experiences that have changed my perspective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hurts for both people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that it usually hurts worse to be broken up with because you feel so out of control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that there are a lot of times when both parties are almost hurting equally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should never assume that the person doing the breaking up is hurting less." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not necessarily true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So during the breakup conversation, both partners should allow themselves to be emotional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let the sadness come out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let the heartbreak come out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The worst thing you can do is swallow everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s bad for two reasons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, because that s uncomfortable for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if your body wants to cry, it feels better to actually let yourself cry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At first you might be embarrassed, but I ll tell you why you shouldn t be embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "showing emotion to your partner during a really heartbreaking moment shows them that this means something to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And breakups are not fun for either party." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s really important to show each other that you re sad about this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is fucking sad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even if you screwed each other over, even if you weren t great to each other all the time, you still loved each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s important for both parties to show their true emotions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does signal to the other person how much the relationship meant." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, that makes things feel better, weirdly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re the one being broken up with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first piece of advice is to try to tame" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your ego, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so easy to react to the rejection that you re feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, you can get angry, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because your ego is being challenged." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re being rejected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, your self-esteem is being shot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of us react to that by getting angry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why it s good to avoid getting angry" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, that doesn t foster a positive conversation in any way, shape or form." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, it s not the mature, higher road to take." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, raising your voice and getting angry can cause the other person to lose respect for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re allowed to be upset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re allowed to be confused." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re allowed to be frustrated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But try to keep your tone as mature as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard when you re being broken up with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go into defense mode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, well, what s wrong with me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything s fucking wrong with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s so easy to want to go there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s so much better not to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to look back and regret the way that you handled the situation and say, Oh, I could have been a little bit more level-headed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have handled that in a more mature way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a lot of self-control and a lot of restraint not to let your ego talk, but it s worth the effort." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I think it s important to really try to understand where they re coming from." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, sometimes people who aren t super keen on communicating will just say that they want to break up and not explain why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you, that will torture you later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to get to the bottom of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Figure out what went wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ask them questions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interrogate them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have the right to do so because you just spent an extended amount of time with them and they re now walking away from you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do deserve to know why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully they ve figured out why and they can tell you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes they re not going to know why and that s the fucking worst or they re lying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They do know why, but they re pretending like they don t know why they re playing dumb." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is the worst." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I d say to the best of your ability, get it out of them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is important because it prevents reaching out down the line for answers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to feel as resolved by the end of the conversation as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to feel like you understand why this happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to be able to take away things that you can work on in your own life to prevent that from happening again down the line, hopefully, unless it had nothing to do with you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even then, there s probably something you can work on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives you closure to an extent, to an extent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, to an extent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, if you still want to be with them, gently propose ideas to solve the issues that you re experiencing in the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think there s anything wrong with sort of fighting back a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, key word, gently fighting back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately, you have to respect your partner s decision, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re not interested in fixing things, don t push it too far." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that there s value in proposing some ideas." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is how we could fix this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I would have known that you felt this way sooner, I would have done this, this, and that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s totally healthy and good to try to provide solutions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes providing solutions might open up your partner s mind to continuing to try, but that will not always be the case." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it s not the case, you have to accept it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, if you re breaking up with your partner, my first piece of advice is to be gentle with your delivery, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in the power position." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to be thoughtful of that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re about to destroy somebody s self-esteem temporarily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re rejecting them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a blow to the ego." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a blow to the self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of people get rejected in some way and take it personal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it is a little bit personal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how life works, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re the one doing the breaking up, I think it s best to be gentle and as thoughtful of the other person as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Put yourself in their shoes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You also have to try your best to explain thoroughly why you want to break up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in my opinion, that s the right thing to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And be honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t sugarcoat it, unless it s something really mean." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s important to be as honest as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I even think you should be honest if you have feelings for somebody else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be gentle, be kind, be loving about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think you have to be honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re not honest, then you can mislead the other person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you have feelings for somebody else and you say, I don t know, I just, I don t think I can be in a relationship right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they re like, okay, but why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, well, I don t really know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That person is going to leave that conversation feeling like, oh, well, they ll probably be ready to be in a relationship again at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "point, and I ll be here waiting for when they re ready." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to be clear about why you re leaving the relationship so that you can manage the expectations of the other person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, obviously, in an ideal world, the other person doesn t have any expectations and they just set you free." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s the most fair thing to do to be brutally honest, but kind and gentle, keeping in mind that they re in a vulnerable position and you re sort of in this power position." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s important to be open-minded." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you should consider your partner s reason for wanting to stay together if that s something that they propose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if you think that you ve made up your mind fully, you should still hear them out because they might be on to something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you failed to communicate your challenges in the relationship prior to going into the breakup conversation, there s a chance that things could actually be resolved and go back to being great again at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If your partner has a plan on how that could work out, you should really consider it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you should also be honest with yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Realistically, is there a solution?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If the answer is no, stand firm in your position." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your partner might be convincing in their way of saying, well, we could fix it if we do this and we do that and we do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you know in your gut that it s over and you heard them out and you pondered it and you still think it s over, stand firm in that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You will only prolong the pain for the both of you if you don t stand firm in your position." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know in your gut that it s over, but you re like, oh, my partner was so convincing, I guess I ll try again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to try again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you re going to end up in another five hour conversation where you re like, are we breaking up or no?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re just you re going to end up there again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important to stand firm and it s so fucking hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you have to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, I m like reliving every breakup conversation I ve ever had simultaneously in my head right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fucking fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is not fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like even if your partner sucked ass, it still is sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s still fucking sad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about the day of the breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go your separate ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is assuming you don t live together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you live together, that s tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That adds a whole other layer of complications." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have not ever lived with a partner, so I can t really speak to that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s talk about what you do on the day of the breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the same advice applies to both partners because again, I ve been on both sides of it and I ll tell you, I needed the same things during both types of breakups." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, let the emotion out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let it all out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of us will cry and just feel the knife in our heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My advice is to just sit with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be tempting to run away from that feeling, you know, immediately distract ourselves, immediately shove it down, down, down, down deep, bottle it up, bottle it up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that that works." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you need to lay in your bed and you need to fucking cry and think about every good memory you had together and remember the last hug that you gave each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Remember everything, feel everything, sit in everything, marinate in everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just let yourself do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t run away from it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I swear to God, I ve taught myself how to do this now with breakups." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to fight the sadness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to try to stop thinking about the person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That only prolongs it, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My last breakup experience, I really just let myself feel everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I laid in my bed for probably six hours and thought about every beautiful memory, and I just cried and cried and cried." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Six hours of crying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really thought I was never going to feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it lasted for so long, six hours." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, it s never going to go away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I let it all out and then all of a sudden I was like, you know what, I feel better and I don t know why, all of a sudden I just felt better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That really helped in the following days." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s important to find somebody to talk to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never gone through a breakup alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember my very first breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, this was so sweet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My friends took me to a hotel because my first boyfriend broke up with me in my apartment and I could not be there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so devastated that my friends found this random corporate hotel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was this sort of hotel that businessmen go to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so sterile." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a fun hotel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was exactly what I needed, just a new setting for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my friends and I just had a little sleep over there and I was bawling the whole night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was bawling the whole night, but I was with my friends and they made me feel so much better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were telling me, they re like, this is going to pass." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to get through this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were there to rub my back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They were there to hear me out because ultimately what I wanted was to talk through it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were there for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In breakups following, I called my parents." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I called my friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t force myself to do it alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it can be really easy when alone to spiral, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can lose perspective really quickly when you re locked in your own mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so helpful to talk to somebody who can see things from a bird s eye view, objectively." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s particularly helpful to talk to people who have been through a handful of breakups in their life as well, because they re going to be the ones that are going to prove to you that things will get better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t you dare reach out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to be so tempting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to want to be like, hey, how are you feeling?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you re not doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, you re not doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still too raw and vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re still too raw and vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no matter how bad it gets, don t talk to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Call someone else, call one of your family members, call a friend, call anyone, but call your therapist, call anyone but them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do not call them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do not text them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not time yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s too soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, if you have the energy, you might not, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might end up spending the whole day in bed crying, and that s fine too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t even have to brush your teeth, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would argue on the night of a breakup, you don t have to brush your teeth, just go to sleep, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the one night where you get to eat sweet treats and not brush your teeth after, even though that s so bad for your teeth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would say on the night of a breakup, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, if you have the energy, I do think it is so great to find some sort of distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, my first breakup, I obviously went to that hotel with my friends and we watched TV and we watched movies and I cried the whole time and just was talking over the TV and movies and was talking about the breakup, but that was helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my other breakups, I ve had a bit more strength." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Call me crazy, one time I was even able to go out to dinner the same day with my friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you, that helped me so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helped me so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting kind of dressed up and going out to dinner, I don t know, it sort of forces you to get back into the real world, get back on your feet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re going through a breakup, sometimes even sitting through a movie is a task." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s like, oh, my God, I m supposed to focus on this movie and not think about my breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, don t set any sort of expectations for yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, be patient with yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it can help to just try to distract yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even the act of trying can sometimes help get you back on your feet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, if you have the energy, pamper yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Order your favorite food for dinner on a food delivery app." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do your skincare routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do a hair mask." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Book a massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have the energy to pamper yourself, this is the time to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Truly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s discuss the first week or two after the breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, you re getting back on your feet, but fuck, it s hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of have to get back to work, whether you re at school or you have a job or you re a parent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t matter who you are, what you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have shit we have to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have commitments, responsibilities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of us can t just lay in bed for two weeks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to get back on our feet a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say for both partners, it s so important to continue to let the emotions come as they do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can sort of be frustrating in the following few weeks to understand where you re at emotionally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you might have one really good day and be like, Oh, fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually getting over this shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the next day you re a fucking mess again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The following weeks can look very different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It all comes in waves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are ups and downs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some days are sort of bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some days are really, really bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some days are fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you have four days where you re really, really, really, really, really, really bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you have one day where you re like, wait, I m actually really good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just a mess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fucking mess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just go with the flow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t fight the emotions as they come." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be tempting to be like, wait, yesterday I was doing pretty good and now today I m doing worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I going backwards?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going backwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every day that you wake up, you re going forwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The best way to get from a bad place to a good place is to ride it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t shove it down and hide it and suppress it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you need to go to the bathroom at work to cry for 30 minutes, do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re feeling really good one day, celebrate that, but don t expect that tomorrow s going to be the same." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be patient with yourself because sometimes like the first two weeks after a breakup," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re actually shockingly good and then the pain comes later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve experienced that where it s like in the beginning, you re like, wait a minute, I m actually kind of relieved, you know, like I m back to focusing on me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is actually really good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the pain comes later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it just depends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think most people are hurting in those first two weeks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a good chance that you re in the worst of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it can be really helpful to sort of remove all signs of them from your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mute them on Instagram, take the pictures of you and them off your walls, take the gifts that they gave you over the years and put them in a box and put them in the garage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Any sign of them should be hidden." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because listen, you re already going to be thinking about them enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s inevitable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you can hide all signs of them, it ll prevent an unnecessary thought of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been really helpful for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it also sort of like a closure ritual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, we re putting these things away." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they could always come out of retirement again if we decide to rekindle, but we might not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to almost pretend as though we will not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There might even be a day down the line where, you know, maybe you don t even speak anymore, but you could bring out a gift that they gave you again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can enjoy that gift from them again without it being a negative memory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll hit a point where that s doable for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would say in those first two weeks, it s like get everything out of sight, out of sight, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s helpful to keep yourself on track for those first few weeks by making to-do lists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it can be really easy to sort of fall into a depressive state." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes you can t prevent that, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re laying in bed all day and you re starting to feel depressed, I m talking about dark darkness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when you should call a therapist, should call a professional and be like, this is really bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s getting really serious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t actually get out of bed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need help." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all been there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, we haven t all been there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know even with me as somebody who has struggled with depression for years, I ve fallen into a depressive state during a breakup and sort of allowed myself to stay in it when I actually did have the strength to get out of bed and get my shit together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when you can t and there are times when you can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What has helped me in the past is making to-do lists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "During a breakup, you don t want to fall into a slump where you re in bed and then that ends up making you feel worse about yourself because you re like, I m not getting anything done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not doing anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to keep yourself on track to the best of your ability." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a to-do list with the bare minimum." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least getting done the bare minimum will make you feel accomplished and good so that you don t start spiraling out of control in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re feeling like, okay, you know what, I have it in me actually to do a bit more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in fact, I think it ll make me feel better to do a bit more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pack your schedule filled with stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get all the bare minimum on there, but then add other stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be like, okay, I actually want to try this recipe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I want to get my nails done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I want to volunteer at this place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to see this friend I haven t seen in a while." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just start packing your schedule filled with stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a to-do list." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think during this first two weeks, it s so crucial to focus back in on yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in a relationship, you re sort of splitting your attention between you and this other person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they re out of your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of continuing to put that attention on that other person, figure out what you can do with that extra energy that you now have to work on yourself and start thinking about ways that you can improve your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, start manifesting what you want your life to look like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, plan some fun activities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plan some fun shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plan to go out to a party with your friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plan a little painting night with your friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get some things on the calendar that you can look forward to because it can feel sort of like you re in this cloud of impending doom when you go through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll give you a little glimmer of light in a way when you look at your calendar and you re like, oh, but on Friday," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to go out and we re going to go get drinks at this bar and then this Friday all my friends are coming over and we re going to paint paintings and drink wine, like whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Plan some activities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, and last but not least, don t fucking reach out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t you dare reach out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Still too soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still too vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still too raw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a good idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you start talking again, you re both so emotional and so sad and so down bad that you might actually get back together and that would be a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stand strong in your choice if you were the one who broke up with the other person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and respect your partner s decision." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you are the person who has broken up with, there will be a time when you can reach out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But within the first two weeks, it s not the time you re wrapped up in nostalgia, in sadness, in heartbreak." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s dangerous emotionally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you might rope each other back in when that s actually not what s best for both of you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately, even though it feels terrible to not be together, all you want is to be together." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, don t talk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No talking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I got." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s part one of breakup advice from before the breakup even happens to two weeks after the breakup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, that s the first chunk of the timeline." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the next episode, we re going to, you know, go a little further into the future of the breakup, because believe me, it extends way further than two weeks after the breakup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My God, sometimes breakups can impact you for years." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll get into that in the following episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So stay tuned for more breakup advice because it s coming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re going through a breakup right now, I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It fucking sucks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let me tell you, you will come out the other side, a stronger, smarter, wiser person who will find love again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you ve never been through a breakup, good luck, because you will at some point probably." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m sending you love in advance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you ve been through a few breakups in the past, this is all old news." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe there is something helpful in it anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this episode, new episodes of anything goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can stream anywhere that you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But video is exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow anything goes on Instagram at anything goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have tea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have accessories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have almond coconut milk lattes in a can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have oat milk lattes in a can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to see if they re in a store near you, check out our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com or just shop on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that this was helpful to somebody." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it wasn t helpful, I hope it was at least entertaining." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love and appreciate you all, and I hope that you re having a great day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re not, I know you ll have a good day at some point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, I ll talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I spent the last few years peacefully unbothered by hookup culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it was none of my business." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I was in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hookup culture is for the singles." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would occasionally think about hookup culture because, you know, I live in a culture that enjoys a hookup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, it was out of my mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was kind of incredible, to be honest, because I ve never been somebody who thrives in a casual hookup scenario." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some of you might be thinking, Emma, you re trying to say you re not like other girls." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re more emotional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why you don t like hookups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s not that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because I tend to be nervous and uncomfortable during it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And afterwards, I tend to feel some sort of pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the pain varies, you know, the source of the pain varies." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But every time there s been some sort of pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why I don t thrive in that scenario on the surface level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s back on my mind, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because these days, I m back to being a lone wolf, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m back to being a free agent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with that comes hookup culture being relevant in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You probably know what hookup culture is, but just in case you don t, let me throw a definition at you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hookup culture is one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one night stands and other related activity without necessarily including emotional intimacy, bonding, or a committed relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, listen, I m 22 right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m pretty young." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up in hookup culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In high school and even middle school, it was all about the hookups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, anytime there was an event where no parents were gonna be there, it was like, who s hooking up with who?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was how you showed that you were cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was how you found a little boost of confidence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hooking up was all the rage." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately for me, my exposure to casual hookups was genuinely traumatic, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It started with my first kiss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My first kiss was terrible for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was not ready emotionally to be kissing boys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was not confident in myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was really, really frightened of any type of romance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I weirdly felt like I was too young." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But everybody around me was doing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I set myself up to have my first kiss and I did it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in the moment I felt very detached, very scared, very uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was a kid that I met that night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the entire time I felt very emotionally removed from it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I remember the next day I cried." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cried because it just felt so wrong to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It felt so icky to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for the rest of high school, I continued to have casual hookups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of them were very innocent, just a little makeout." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, no sex yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the time, you know, a little makeout carried a lot of emotional weight for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, not as much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Back then, it was almost like having sex for me mentally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so significant, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Almost every experience was terrible, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember I made out with one guy at a concert, and later I found out he didn t even really want to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "His friends were just like, dude, go make out with her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dude, go make out with her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I found out he just didn t even like me at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I really liked him, so that fucking sucked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another time, I had a huge crush on this guy, and we re at a beach bonfire, and we make out, and I was really awkward for some reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was too nervous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was too nervous because I had such a big crush on him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was just being weird, like I was tense, I remember." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he just got weirded out by me, because he was like this hot, cool guy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he was like, why is she stiff as a board?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s she so nervous about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck this girl." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go make out with someone else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he just looked at me weird in the middle of it and then walked away and then told everybody that I was the worst kisser." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that was terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s safe to say that my experience has been rocky from the start." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I left high school and I moved to LA, I then started dating, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started dating pretty much immediately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve sort of been a serial dater ever since I moved here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look back at the past four or five years, I ve kind of just been in relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I m in a relationship, it ends, I heal, I find another one, it ends, I heal, I find another one, it ends, I heal, I find another one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s been very short chunks of time in between each." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I haven t really had a lot of time" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to participate in hookup culture." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that was sort of intentional because my experience in high school was so bad that I was like, okay, I m not into this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So instead of using my single time to hook up with random people, I m going to use my single time to find my next boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In retrospect, I think I had it all wrong, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I should have been using my single time to focus on myself a little bit more, but no regrets." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so in between the boyfriends I ve had, I ve had such a short amount of time that I ve only had time for one and a half, okay, one and a half casual hookup experiences." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve only had time for one and a half, not even two, one and a half." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those happened approximately four years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, I remember at the time I just wanted to see what it would be like, because my entire life I had heard all of these positive reviews about casual hookups." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s so fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s so exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This, this and that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt sort of left out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, though, I think I was still recovering from being sort of rejected by a few guys that I had dated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was weighing heavily on my confidence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, you know, maybe" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hooking up with guys casually could give me a little confidence boost without actually having to commit to them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like I can get this little confidence boost while I wait for somebody that I can actually date long term." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know, I gave it a try one and a half times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the experience was okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it was fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it wasn t bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I remember in the moment feeling like it was definitely weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it felt so empty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was sort of unsettling to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would have sex casually and then I d be like, OK, I need to leave, you know, like, OK, now I can t be around this person anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that felt so wrong to me because sex is such an intimate thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I felt sort of guilty about wanting to get as far away from the person afterwards as I possibly could." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also felt really uneasy about how weird it is to be strangers with somebody and then to all of a sudden be almost playing pretend like we re dating for like an hour and then to just go back to be strangers again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "was so weird, it almost felt like playing a game." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in the moment it can be sort of enjoyable, but I always had it in the back of my head that it felt off." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it felt really off to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I ended up regretting my very short list of casual hookups after the fact, because I wasn t proud of the fact that I went into it looking to find confidence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t feel good about the fact that I didn t really like the person I had sex with, and they didn t really like me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the whole thing just sort of felt icky to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had this weird feeling of regret where I was like, now in their mind, they ve seen a side of me that very few people have seen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if they deserve that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that has nothing to do with them as a person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I went through this phase where I really wanted to get that back from them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I almost feel like I gave them something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which I don t think is necessarily true, but it was really bothering me that they got to see a side of me that is really sacred." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just bothered me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went through years of regret." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of you might be like, Emma, what is wrong with you, you grandma?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like literally people have sex with like 50 people a year and don t blink an eye." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what s wrong with you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is just how I psychologically react to casual hookups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now let s fast forward to now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m back to being a lone wolf." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The concept of hookup culture is back on my mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And shockingly, I went into it with an open mind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I wanted to reexamine the concept." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, my past experiences have been terrible, as I just displayed for you, but I m a very different person now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m much more confident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also not desperate for validation from sexual partners as much as I used to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really had an issue with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when I was younger and I just have so much more life experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, okay, let s, let s re-examine this with a brand new lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s try this again with an open mind and see if it s something that can work when you re a little bit older, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I dabbled." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I dabbled a little bit and I want to share what I found because I feel like I went into it with a really fresh lens and I came out of it with some solid conclusions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I want to say these are conclusions for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are not conclusions for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody is so different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, what works for you might not work for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What works for me might not work for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s discuss the pros and cons of casual hookups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the pros." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we re starting out positive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, there s only one pro." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s not a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is pretty incredible to be able to develop your independence and enjoy singlehood while still getting to enjoy sex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being single can be so magical." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can put all of your effort into developing yourself, building a life that you love, making friends that are magical." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not blinded by being in love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not blinded by an illusion of love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not blinded by anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in this shit for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But of course, we love intimacy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the idea that we can have both is gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think there are maybe times when it works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Personally, I ve yet to find a way to make it net positive, but I can imagine that there are some people out there who have found a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that leads me to the cons of the casual hookup, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already know I m going to sound like a grandma, so just" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m down to be random, fuck whoever, don t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m down to do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sounds so fun, but I ve yet to find a way to do it where it doesn t come at a cost." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t wanna be a grandma." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanna come on here and be like, listen, you guys, so I can t stop hooking up with everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t stop, I m obsessed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t stop, I m having so much sex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t stop you guys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m having sex with everybody." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I meet it is so fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, like no one Has as much game as me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, no No, because I win." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d love to come on here and say that I would love to but unfortunately I m coming on here like a grandma" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "talking about why I ve found casual hookups aren t the best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on grandma mode today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s discuss the cons." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I already sort of touched on this, but it s just weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Inevitably when you re casually hooking up with somebody," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re not that close." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not that close." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when, you know, you maybe have like a fuck buddy or something and you kind of become close, but I d argue in a lot of ways that sort of becomes a romantic relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, nobody wants to put a label on it, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I consider that more of a relationship when it s continuous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about a casual random hookup." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like a one night stand vibe or maybe a three night stand vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times you really don t know each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have a foundation of friendship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know each other and you re literally having sex and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re pretending like you re dating for a brief period of time, and then you re back to strangers again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for that brief period of time, when you are sort of pretending like you re in a relationship in a weird way, you can feel detached, like emotionally detached." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my experience anyway." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why I subconsciously detach is because I m uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m nervous." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a little weirded out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, yeah, I want to be here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing this because I want to do it, but I don t know you like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know you like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re touching me like we ve been dating for like six years and I don t know you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a crazy concept to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m in that moment, I m like, ah, I don t like, who are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who am I to you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also like reciprocating this action." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve known you for six years and I don t know you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like so bizarre." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so bizarre to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sort of gives me an existential crisis the next day, because I m like, wow, intimacy doesn t have to be built up over time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be fabricated in an instant, but it doesn t feel real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe to some people it does, and that s something I ve pondered a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me personally, I feel detached." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe some people don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe some people can jump into intimacy immediately and not feel like it s fabricated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe for them it s not fabricated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s one-sided." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that s only coming from my end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the whole thing just feels..." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so whack when you re in it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next con, someone might want it to turn into something more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us go into a hookup like, okay, this is just for fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t need to see this person ever again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is just for fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that a lot of times one person ends up catching feelings a little bit, ends up getting attached a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chances are one of you is going to get hurt." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, there s the occasional instance where both people fall in love with each other through a one night stand, sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more often than not, one person gets attached and the other person wants nothing to do with the other person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that leaves you with a situation where either you have to be an asshole or they have to be an asshole." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason why I say asshole is because having sex with somebody is very vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very sacred to a lot of people and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It always feels a little insensitive to cut someone off after you have sex with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it s all fun and games when both of you never want to speak again afterwards or just want to be friends afterwards or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that, again, normally doesn t happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my experience, one person" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "wants to go on a date all of a sudden, you know, and someone s going to have to be the asshole and cut it off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that just feels terrible on both ends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re the one who has to be the asshole, you feel terrible because you re like, I went and had sex with this person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now they like me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel terrible that this meant more to them than it meant to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have no choice but to sort of cut them off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hurts on the other side for even more obvious reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because now you like someone and they don t like you back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when they don t like you back, it hurts 10 times worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when you were so vulnerable with them for a moment in time, it hurts 10 times worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next con, it can be tempting to really lean into hookup culture when you re going through a breakup because you re trying to move on from your ex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re trying to get them out of your head, but unfortunately that tends to make it worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always, not always." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think short term it can be helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Short term, it s a distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Short term, it sort of breaks the cycle with the last person and it can sort of be the sign of a new chapter, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But long term, I think it actually makes it worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not to say that you can t go and hook up with people after a breakup, because it s like, okay, obviously you have to do that eventually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at times, people seek out casual hookups to try to get over an ex as quickly as possible, and that s when it s a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you go and you start hooking up with people too soon, I think it can be a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in the moment, it s a distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re lucky, it might actually be a really great experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you re going through a breakup, the emptiness that you might feel will only go away temporarily during a hookup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The emptiness that you feel comes back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my experience, it comes back 10 times worse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not exactly sure why this is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s because you expect to feel better after you hook up with somebody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You expect the emptiness to go away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it comes back, not only are you feeling the emptiness again, but now you re also feeling the disappointment that the casual hookup didn t" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "fix your problem like you thought it would." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that a lot of times we start hooking up with new random people and without even meaning to, we start comparing them to our ex if we re going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And inevitably, it s not going to be good because it s inevitable that when comparing your ex to a random hookup, your ex is going to look better a lot of times because you actually had a relationship with your ex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You actually had an emotional bond." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With this random person, you have nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might even have better sexual chemistry with this new person, but you don t have memories with this random hookup person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have history with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your ex will almost always come out on top when you compare the two." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I think it s such a nasty, nasty cycle when you go through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go through a breakup and you want to go and distract yourself and just start getting out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you start hooking up with people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, let me just get it over with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it ends up making you miss your ex more over time because you re trying to put a band-aid on an open wound and you need to get stitches." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only way that you can get stitches is by having some time alone and rebuilding" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your confidence and your sense of self again until you feel strong enough to go back out there and really hit the town in a strong way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing I hate about a hookup is that it s so hard to do that without alcohol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never once not been at least pretty buzzed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you don t know what to talk to them about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s awkward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know what to expect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this doesn t apply to everybody." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know some people are totally good not drinking in these types of scenarios." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know a lot of people who need alcohol for this type of scenario and myself included." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in general in life, I don t like relying on alcohol to be able to do something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I used to feel like I needed to be drunk to go to a party." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you know what I did?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "took a step back for a second, rethought it and said, I need to learn how to go and be social without alcohol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I stopped drinking and I started being more smart about where I went out so that I didn t feel the pressure to drink." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then now I m at a place where I can go to any party and I don t feel the pressure to drink." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to drink socially." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t ever want to be in a situation where I feel like I have to be drunk to participate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve come such a long way socially and confidence-wise that at this point I feel like I should be able to do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "without alcohol, but I still don t think I could and that s a sign to me that I shouldn t be doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you need a substance to participate in an activity, there s some sort of growth that needs to be done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, it harms your self-esteem when you rely on alcohol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you feel like you need alcohol to do something," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes you feel incapable, which fucks with your self-esteem, and that s not good for anyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next con, I don t think it s good to go out on a Friday night with friends with the expectation of hooking up with someone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be really easy to fall into that routine where it s like, okay, when I go out, I m gonna hook up with someone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna find somebody to hook up with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going home with somebody tonight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s happening." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the problem is when you set these types of expectations, you end up wasting your whole night looking for somebody to hook up with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of just living in the moment, okay, dancing with your friends, having a conversation with somebody who s just cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, maybe you re not into them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not attracted to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wouldn t have sex with them, but they re just cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re not entertaining those types of people because you re too busy looking around for someone to hook up with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like spending the whole night scanning the room for a hottie is not fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry, it s not fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will admit in my life I have ruined some nights because I just wanted to find someone and you just have so much less fun that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also I swear the universe knows when you re looking for somebody to hook up with because they never send someone your way on those evenings ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only time I ve ever had luck has been when I ve gone out and been like, I don t give a fuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tonight, I just want to have fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I care about, having fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care about anything else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happens, happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this next one," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still chewing on it in my brain, but I am wondering if casual hookups sort of take the meaning away from sex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I mentioned earlier, casual hookups make me just detach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m somewhat removed from it when I m in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there is a bit of pretending going on because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know each other." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to sort of pretend, like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the more that sort of just becomes your brain s norm during sex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I ve noticed this in myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like my casual experiences have made more meaningful experiences less exciting and I wonder if that s just me getting older and me just becoming more desensitized to sex because I ve had more of it so then I just don t," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feel as explosive of emotions about it, but I don t know, because I ve talked to some people in my life, a lot of people in my life, in fact, about this, and a lot of people have agreed with me, like the more casual sex they ve had, the more sex just feels meaningless to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it loses its meaning because you re experiencing it with people who don t have meaning to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe that s why it sort of loses its novelty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next con, I think at times it can get in the way of finding somebody who can be good for you long term." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, not all of us are looking for somebody to be with long term." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I mean, I would say I am, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like ultimately my goal is to find somebody to be with long term." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone has that goal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess if you don t have that goal, then this doesn t really apply." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s very time consuming to find people to hook up with, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re using Instagram, you re finding hot people on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re using a dating app, you re doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re just" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just bar hopping on Friday night, whatever you re doing, you re taking a lot of time to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re searching with the intention of finding somebody to hook up with, you might miss somebody who could actually be a great long-term partner who just maybe doesn t have the vibe that they wanna hook up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you set an intention like, okay, I m finding somebody to hook up with, you might miss" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the people in your peripheral who would be great to date." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now some might argue that there s overlap, like the same people that you want to hook up with are the people that you want to date." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but that s kind of complicated too because let s say you re overlapping, you know, you re choosing the same people to hook up with that you would date." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well let s say you hook up with one of those people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s say you really start to have feelings for them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be kind of tough to backpedal and build a relationship backwards after starting everything out with sex because ultimately a good romantic relationship is built on a foundation of friendship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, there s something sort of unnatural about going backwards and sort of building this friendship when you already have this intimacy established" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You sort of have to force yourself to go back and build this friendship now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, sexual chemistry can be blinding because you may think that you have this connection, this special connection with this person, but really you just have sexual chemistry and your friendship might not end up working out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you might end up creating a dysfunctional relationship or just another failed relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of room for error when you have to backpedal and build a foundation when you ve already had sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, in my experience as a grandma." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next con, sometimes we hook up with people that we really, really don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re like me, that makes you anxious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who the fuck is this person?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who is this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t know me well enough to be in my space like this, yet I m letting them into this space." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I invited them into this space, yet they don t know me like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only that, but are they lying to me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they have an active sexually transmitted infection?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they cheating on their girlfriend?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they filming me right now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the other thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re just kind of random with it, you have no idea who you re dealing with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just have no idea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s frightening, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re having a very, very vulnerable moment that has health risks, safety risks, et cetera, and you don t even know who this fucking person is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, okay, last con," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may be trying to boost your confidence in the wrong way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, we all just want to feel hot, cool, special, attractive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all want to feel that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And nothing gives you a little boost of that more than sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the highest form of flattery in some ways, you know It s like wow, this person is so attracted to me that they want to Have sex with me Unfortunately, though the little confidence boost that you get from a casual hookup is short-lived Okay, it s very very short-lived Number one because there s a chance that the person you had sex with doesn t actually respect you doesn t actually care about you" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you figure that out, it might make you feel ten times worse than you did before because now You don t feel hot cool and special anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that you feel like you just got played which makes you feel even worse about yourself, but also There are times when you may choose somebody to have sex with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t respect and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, when you go and have sex with this person that you don t respect, when you look at yourself in the mirror the next day, you re like, wait a minute, why would I do that with somebody who I don t respect?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I don t respect myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why did I stoop down to that level?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, going into it for a confidence boost, it s just, it s not," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even if everything goes just as planned, and you have sex, and this person actually respects you, even though it s just a casual hookup, and maybe they even start to like you, and maybe you even like them back, if you re trying to find your confidence in something outside of yourself, it will always end" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on that note, I m a grandma." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a grandma." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m celibate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m kidding." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The funny thing about all of this is that, like, I know that all this is true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m giving you my findings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m showing you my findings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yet I might go and contradict these things tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t trust myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, even though I know all of this is true, I still might go and do it again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, that s what s fun about being in your 20s." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know that something doesn t benefit you, but you do it anyway because it s fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But is it fun?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to really nail this into your brain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is my experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what I ve found." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have the opposite experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might be like, Emma, I love casual hookups." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It works for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s totally fine because none of us are wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all just different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me know if you agree with me, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m genuinely curious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can shoot me a DM on the Anything Goes Instagram at anything goes and let me know because I genuinely like I m very curious because there s a lot of people in my life who agree with me about this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some people in my life who completely disagree with me on this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very split." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say 70% agree with me, 30% completely disagree with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the whole thing is so fascinating to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I wonder, why is it so different for people?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it just personality?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One type of personality thrives in this environment, one doesn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it the cumulative experiences that you ve had throughout your life?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can listen to anywhere you stream podcasts, but video episodes are exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea, we have lattes in a can, we have lots of stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can order online or use the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I guess I ll just talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t believe I just talked about sex for so long considering so many people don t think that I have sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like an urban legend that like I don t have sex, so." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually get it, but it s also kind of like, really?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, come on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s obvious that I do a lot too, because I considered a half of a hookup, a hookup almost earlier in the episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you guys later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you guys." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, nobody wants to talk about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I don t want to talk about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about it, but I don t want to talk about it because it s mortifying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a behavior that we all participate in privately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are very few behaviors that are more private." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "than this one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we discuss this with our closest friends, but this is a very private behavior." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d argue it s almost as private as masturbation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something so deeply personal and private about this that I m absolutely terrified to discuss it today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing it social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about actual stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about showing up at someone s house and watching them through the window." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about hacking into their social media accounts using some sort of hacking tactic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about being weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about the social media stalking that we all participate in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw it called social media lurking online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like that s a better term for it because most of us are not stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not actually stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re lurking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just looking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just looking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if everyone does this, but I d argue most people do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most people who are on social media participate in some form of social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is social media stalking?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there are varying degrees of social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say the beginner level is just looking through somebody s social media page, just looking through, just scrolling through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing too crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like lightweight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then you have intermediate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say intermediate is looking through somebody s page frequently, maybe watching their Instagram stories using a Finsta, a fake account, so they can t see that it s you watching it, they just see a random" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "account watching it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You keep up with them regularly and you re not in each other s lives super closely, so it s sort of unusual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re kind of being sneaky about keeping up with them because you don t know them in a way that would make it appropriate for you to be on their social media page." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "lurking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think that that takes it to intermediate when maybe you need to start using a fake Instagram to stalk and maybe you re visiting their page a little bit too often." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say extreme level is all the things I mentioned prior." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but now you re looking at who follows them, and you re looking through who they follow, and then you re stalking who they follow, and then you re looking through their tagged photos, and then maybe you re starting to follow their friends on a fake account so that you can see what they re up to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s extreme level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s beginner, intermediate, advanced, slash extreme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I rarely go the extreme route." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say I normally fall somewhere between beginner and intermediate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have participated in extreme." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I didn t know a lot of people who also have gone to advanced stalking, advanced lurking, I would not admit this publicly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s such a common thing, at least within the people I know, that I feel okay with admitting it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s something that no one wants to talk about because it s so fucking mortifying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s discuss who we stalk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Myself and maybe even you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who are the common people to stalk on social media?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say number one, people that we re jealous of or competitive with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know it makes me feel like shit to stalk someone who I think is doing better in their lives than me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s something about the flame that ignites in my body when I m jealous or competitive that just makes me want to keep up with what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I want to see what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason why I do that is because I m like, number one, somewhere inside I m inspired by them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I kind of want to do what they re doing in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also want to compare myself to them to see how I m stacking up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m jealous of or competitive with this person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I want to know how I compare on a consistent basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re a barometer for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like I m constantly testing my own life compared to theirs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, how am I doing in comparison to them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I doing way worse than them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ten times worse than them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or am I only doing two times worse than them?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so toxic, but this is the human condition in the age of technology, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that we stalk people that we re jealous of or competitive with because we want to find a flaw in them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to catch them slipping a little bit because it makes us feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, most of the time when we stalk somebody that we re jealous of or competitive with, we re going to find something unfortunate because people put their best moments on social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s very rare that we re going to see something" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that makes us feel good about ourselves, because they re providing us with the highlight reel, and that s what we re using to base their lives off of." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re comparing ourselves to that highlight reel, so it s definitely not promising for our well-being, but there s always a little chance that we might find something that makes us feel good about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we might catch them slipping up a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they don t look good in the last photo that they posted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe their outfit was not chic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they started dating someone new and they kind of seem lame." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we re looking for something that will boost us up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think competitiveness brings out a level of" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Infatuation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think jealousy brings out a level of infatuation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they deeply affect us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People that we re jealous of or competitive with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They take up a decent amount of space in our brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that inspires us to stalk them on social media, unfortunately." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we also stalk our exes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, come on, this is like the most obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone stalks their exes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone, but a lot of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so hard not to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that you can be a human and not do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still stalk my first boyfriend sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being in a romantic relationship is deeply, deeply impactful on your life, whether it s net positive, net negative, net neutral, doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No matter what type of relationship you were in, if it was a romantic one, it probably impacted you in a huge way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The feelings that you felt towards that person were so electric and so strong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, you wouldn t have been with them, probably." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those feelings don t just go away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re still always going to feel some type of way about" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your exes, and a lot of times you still have feelings for them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I check up on an ex that I don t have feelings for anymore, just because I m curious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are they up to?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they dating someone new?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they seem sad?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they sad because they miss me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That always feels good, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they thriving in their career?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they not thriving in their career?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they look good?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they look bad?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think ultimately what we re looking for is the reassurance that we re better without them and that they re worse off without us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s ultimately what we re looking for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not all the time though, because now that I m thinking about it more, when I m stalking an ex," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sometimes just rooted in curiosity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I ve had moments where it s been rooted in anger and resentment, and I ve wanted them to not be slaying, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which is so fucked up and immature, but we re being honest today, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, I ve had those moments, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Breakups are so weird because you re literally so bonded together one day and then you re strangers the next." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, look at me writing Pinterest quotes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One day, you re lovers." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The next day, you re strangers again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely have seen that on Pinterest before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so weird to just cut things off with somebody that you were so close with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like that tends to happen with relationships even more than friendships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Relationships tend to go much deeper and they tend to require a much sharper cutoff than friendships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I feel like that s why we re so much more intrigued by what our exes are doing because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "one day they just weren t in our lives anymore and it s impossible not to be curious about what their lives look like now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, what does it look like without me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you doing, you silly boy?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that there are times that we stalk our exes to feel close to them if we miss them, you know, see if there s a chance that we could get back together in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that at times we can stalk for that reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we re trying to put the pieces together to figure out, okay, wait, could we get back together one day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also stalk our ex-friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is a much less extreme version of what we do, I feel like, with our exes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say a lot of times we re stalking our ex-friends out of pure curiosity and maybe at times jealousy or competitiveness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I tend to stalk old friends out of curiosity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that hard, at least for me, to forgive friends who have maybe wronged me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s much easier than forgiving an ex for some reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, not for some reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very clear why, because that s a much deeper relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t personally stalk ex-friends from a place of anger, resentment, jealousy, competitiveness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to just be pure curiosity, like what the hell are they doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are they doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "etc." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I can see how for some it can mirror stalking an ex-partner much more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it just depends on how your friendship ended and how much you value your friendships, how you value your friendships, not even necessarily how much, but how you value them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, I m much more flexible with my friendships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m much more open to people coming and going as we both make sense in each other s lives, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been sad when friendships have ended, but I don t know, it s just always been easier for me to move past, I would say, than" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, we stalk people that we have crushes on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wanna feel in the loop on what your crush is up to because you wanna see like, okay, wait, are they available for me?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, wait, what are they doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, seeing what your crush is doing is obviously amusing because when you have a crush on somebody, you wanna see them do actually anything, you don t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like that s mainly who we stalk, right, when we re on social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now listen, there are some exceptions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know who the exception would be, but those are the types of people that came to mind for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a clear theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We tend to stalk people on social media who bring out negative emotions in us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Jealousy, resentment, anger, sometimes longing, sadness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, even with your crush, sometimes that can bring out feelings of anxiousness, anticipation," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like social media stalking is almost always rooted in some sort of negative emotion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s really dig into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do we do this?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I googled it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t find a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now maybe I should have dug a little deeper, but I didn t find a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had to sort of piece things together to try to figure out why we love stalking on social media so much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, why are we so addicted to it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what I found." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All up for debate, as always." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re looking for a boost of confidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stalking somebody that we dislike can be an easy way to get a confidence boost if the person that we dislike is believed by us to be a generally worse person than us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we might become obsessed with stalking somebody that we really don t like and don t think is cool because every time we go on their page, we know we re going to feel better about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say we stop being friends with somebody and you don t really respect them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is so sad and dark, so I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you don t like them, you don t respect them, you don t think that they re cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You kind of think that they re lame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why you stop being friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go and stalk them and then compare your life to theirs and almost always come out of that with a little confidence boost." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s one reason why we stalk, because we re looking for an easy boost of confidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think that at times we re looking for a more rare boost of confidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stalking somebody that we dislike can be more challenging, yet far more rewarding" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when the person that we dislike is believed by us to be a generally better person than us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I sort of mentioned earlier, a lot of times we re gonna go on their page and we re gonna find them slaying and we re gonna feel like shit about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But every once in a while when we see that little slip up, that little cringe moment, we re gonna feel pretty good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think one reason why we stalk is for our confidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re looking for a cheap boost in our confidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re not always gonna find it, but we might look for it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we also stalk on social media to compare ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks to wp.nyu.edu." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparisons are a normal part of human cognition and can be good for the self-improvement process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we compare ourselves to others, we get information about what we want and where we want to be, and we get valuable feedback on how we measure up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We compare ourselves to see, okay, wait, how the fuck are we doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are we doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we keeping up with the cool kids?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think it s important to compare to an extent, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to look around and see what everyone else is doing and use that as inspiration to do even better in our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that can be a positive thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can very quickly become a negative thing though, that s for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think usually when it comes to social media stalking, it s the negative type of comparison where we re comparing in an unrealistic environment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, healthy comparison doesn t need to be sought out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s presented to you in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in the people that are around you on a day-to-day basis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to find somebody online to compare yourself to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I understand it s hard not to compare yourself to people that are online, though, because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do it all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think even on social media, it s like, if you follow people who inspire you, who are good people, and you compare yourself to them, that could fall into the positive category, as long as it s not becoming toxic for you, in the sense that it s making you actually feel unmotivated and depressed because you feel like you ll never live up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when it s bad, but there s an endless list of people that you can compare yourself to online and that s why I think it s so tempting and It s easy to get fixated on one person and start checking up on what they re doing all the time Causing some stalking, you know" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that stalking is a distraction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think some of us can use it as sort of an escape, which is so funny because I would argue that nine out of 10 times stalking people on social media leaves us feeling bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we end up seeing things we didn t want to see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We end up comparing ourselves more than we should be in an unrealistic environment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, online is unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We end up worse off nine out of 10 times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say the only time I stalk somebody on social media and I leave feeling good is probably when I m stalking a crush, when I have a crush." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m like, aw, so cute, obsessed, love them, love him, aw, so cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who s cute?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that s great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but even then sometimes I end up leaving stalking a crush being like This is so frustrating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like will I ever even like will this ever happen with us or no and that can actually be kind of depressing too and it d be easier if I hadn t stalked them because then I wouldn t be thinking about them as much and I would just be living my life and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, back to what I was saying, I think it s funny that we use social media stalking as a distraction because usually we re distracting from negative feelings, negative emotions, but going and stalking on social media actually also creates negative feelings and negative emotions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I guess it just creates new ones, different ones." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know when I m going down a rabbit hole on Instagram and I m," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing my little research or whatever about whoever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am in another world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m transported to another dimension, truly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Truly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been really bad about my social media usage recently, and I ve been really getting sucked into rabbit holes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I swear, two hours goes by and I m like, what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What just happened?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m so distracted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, kind of going off the last one, emotional attachment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this one mainly applies to like an ex significant other, you know, ex-partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s normal to miss an ex, to want to get back together with an ex." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s normal and so a lot of times the emotional attachment that you have to a person doesn t disappear when the relationship ends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You still feel emotionally attached to them and them completely being out of your sight is unnerving to you because you re attached to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Seeing them knowing what they re doing feeling connected to them through social media makes you feel close to them again, and I also think emotional attachment can Inspire you to stop to try to figure out the likelihood of you getting back together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like are they dating somebody new?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they following their ex-girlfriend again on on social media?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, are they" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Posting weird things on their Instagram story that allude to them having a new significant other like, you know You re looking for that you re looking for signs because you re still emotionally attached to them and that feeling is so vivid and so strong and so consuming that you ll do anything in your power to tend to those feelings and Stalking on social media might be the way to do it" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, here s the thing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes sense why we do this, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems to be very human, but why do so many of us do it when it so clearly makes us miserable?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nine out of 10 times when we stalk, I swear we end up feeling worse at the end of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even if it started as cute and innocent, like, oh, I want to see what they re up to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It almost always ends in some sort of negative feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I really think about it, internet stalking always ends with pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might get a brief" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "surge of rewarding chemicals in your brain, you might get a brief boost of confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s at best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At worst, you might find out that your ex is dating somebody new and really hot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ouch, that hurts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you might find out that your ex best friend is on a vacation with their new best friends and they re having a lot of fun and you kind of feel jealous and left out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or you might find out that the person that you feel competitive with or jealous of is fucking slaying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is slaying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that sucks, you know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It always ends bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why do we all continue to do it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a little bit of research about why humans seek out pain because I ve noticed that humans do do that, myself included." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I seek out pain for sure sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I exercise in ways that are painful and brutal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I enjoy scary movies sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll look at photos that make me nostalgic and sad on purpose." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, why do I do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do we do that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to the American Psychology Association," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There seems to be three main reasons why we seek out pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, we put ourselves in a difficult situation and then we cope with it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that makes us feel satisfied." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that this sometimes applies to social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think sometimes we go into it expecting to see something that we don t want to see, and when we end up seeing the thing that we didn t want to see, we re forced to deal with it and accept it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there can be something sort of satisfying about that, I guess, but I think we could go without it, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another reason why we seek out things that will hurt us is because it s a distraction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I said that earlier, but it was further proven now by science." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is really distracting to feel pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes over everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so one pain can distract us from another pain, a worse pain, if that makes sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least we seek out pain because of how good it makes us feel when we stop I don t know if that applies with social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that applies to a lot of things I think that applies to exercise, you know, maybe stretching you know, maybe Going out and being social when we re not in the mood or we re tired." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it work in that situation?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the first two apply more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, I think the reason why we continue to stalk on social media, even though it makes us feel like shit, is because we lack self-control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We crave the excitement, the control, the potential confidence boost, the feeling of scratching an itch that we get from seeing what these people are doing on a consistent basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we don t want to stop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t have self-control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know deep down that the pain is yet to come." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, we might get some sort of satisfaction short term, but long term, we know it s going to make us feel like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we re looking for that short hit of amusement, excitement, confidence, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you know what s funny?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even when you go into social media stalking looking for a confidence boost and you get it, you ll still end up feeling like shit long term because it doesn t feel good to get a confidence boost through other people not doing well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That actually is not where your confidence boost should come from." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only does that make you feel bad about yourself at times because you re like, my God, like I m such a bad person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I am comparing myself to other people and like shitting on other people and that s how I feel good about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s such a bummer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also it s not a consistent stream of confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fleeting fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If that s where your source of confidence is coming from, it will be gone just as quick as you got it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you ll end up in the same place or even in a worse place than you were before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that we don t stop, even though we know we should, because it s a part of our routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I go on social media and I go through my explore page and my explore page knows what I m interested in and gives me content from people that I stalk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you know what that does?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That further pushes me to stalk more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but also we re so on our phones that we almost have a subconscious routine that we participate in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not completely subconscious, but it, it borders on subconscious because the way I use social media is so automatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so automatic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it can become a part of our routines to use social media in a negative way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s safe to say that this is a bad habit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stalking on social media is a bad habit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should try to the best of our ability not to do it because I d argue it always ends bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do we stop doing it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the first way is to unfollow them, to mute them, to maybe even block them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t follow each other and you re still stalking them and they won t notice if you block them, you should block them because then you can t look them up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Out of sight, out of mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d say that that s the most obvious way to stop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very helpful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very effective, but it s also sort of unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t go and block Someone if they re gonna see that you block them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think blocking like I don t know let s say you re dating somebody new and You keep stalking their ex-girlfriend and they don t the ex-girlfriend doesn t even know who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you block that ex-girlfriend They re never gonna notice right just so that you can t even look them up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you still follow somebody that you stalk Incessantly always checking it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, maybe it s time to mute them" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to unfollow them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t have to unfollow you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s just a mute, but it s trying to get them out of your sight as much as you possibly can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think more effective than that is to notice when you re starting to stalk and to figure out how you pivot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe you have an issue with stalking this one person that you re jealous of on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just can t stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or maybe you re just scrolling through your explore page trying to find people to stalk that could potentially make you jealous or competitive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think just having a plan on how to pivot can be so helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I do this all the time with bad habits, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Especially ones that are somewhat subconscious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when I find myself falling into a bad habit, I figure out, okay, what do I pivot to?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, when I am stalking on social media and it s starting to get toxic, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My pivot is I ll go on Pinterest because Pinterest for me is very positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go on Pinterest and I find inspiring images and I save them in my little boards and it inspires me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It inspires me with home decor and fashion and hairstyles and makeup and all these things that I love and it s positive, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t ever go on Pinterest to compare myself to people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go on there to be inspired, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I know like, okay, when I m using social media, Instagram specifically, in a negative way, okay, I m just going to pivot to Pinterest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No biggie." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No problem." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No problem." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No sweat off my back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just pivoting over, pivoting over to Pinterest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s helped me a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it helps to distract yourself in the real world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you find yourself in a period of life where you have a lot of time to be on social media, stalking, stalking it up, find more shit to do in the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, don t be offended by that because there are periods of my life where I just have downtime, you know, especially during the winter time when it s cold out and I can t just go to the beach when I m bored." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s especially hard during the colder seasons." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because we re just kind of inside a lot more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important to keep yourself busy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep yourself busy in the real world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, try to find more fulfilling ways to use social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, social media is a huge part of our lives." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not getting out of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the world that we live in, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are ways to make it positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow a bunch of inspiring accounts and just use social media for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Curate your social media experience that you re only seeing stuff on your feed that makes you feel good Can you still go in stock?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think a combination of all four of those things can be really helpful at the end of the day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re human We re still gonna stalk people on social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I m ever gonna fully not do it like it s just so I m curious about so many people and I m like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I mean, sometimes I m jealous of people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I m competitive with people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to see what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so ingrained in our social media routine, how we use social media." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know for me recently, it s been" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been doing it a lot, just stalking everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not obsessed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, excuse me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not obsessed, but it s starting to get cold outside and I m spending a lot more time indoors." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately, that means a lot more time on my phone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just been doing deep dives on just about everyone from like a little crush to somebody I m deeply competitive with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s brutal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m really going to try my best to stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to stop as much as I can because I do think it s starting to make me depressed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s social media stalking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, we all do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t even listen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, if you don t do it," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Congratulations." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s some of us out there that are not as strong as you anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have to say today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hope you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hope that it resonated with you in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did enjoy it, give Anything Goes a little rating, a little five stars." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never hurt anyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes if you want to keep up with the show." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and every Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "stream anywhere you get podcasts, watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in grocery stores too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you want to find us in a store near you, go on the store locator or you can just order everything on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love and appreciate all of you and thank you so much for hanging out with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Um, and I had so much fun with you as always, and I hope you had fun with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you didn t, well, I ll probably hear about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So peace and love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love ya." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of an online trend to post about wellness, wellness routines, habits for wellness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m assuming we ve all seen it, but just in case some of you out there haven t, I ll explain it to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wellness content consists of videos or photos of people participating in habits that ultimately make them healthier and happier and better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like wellness content is centered around feeling your best, being your best." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in positivity, I would say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I think its impact is much more complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, wellness content can be inspiring to people, which is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can also be discouraging for some people because they re like, wow, this person looks like they have their shit together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could never have my shit together like they do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think it can be negative in that aspect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of people exaggerate about their wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, well, I wake up at this time and then I do this perfect routine, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not even accurate, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, listen, I m here to participate in the wellness content." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I am about to lay out for you my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t believe it either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And before you re like, Emma, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that I m going to tell you anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I definitely have a very specific wellness routine, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Certain habits, certain things that I do that make me feel my best inside and out, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will say that my wellness routine makes my life better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These habits have had a positive impact on my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I wanted to share what my wellness routine is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, hopefully it s useful in some way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hopefully its impact is positive because you never know with wellness content." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems to be a double-edged sword." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s waste no time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s dive in to my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is not necessarily chronological." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just gonna go through various habits that I think benefit my overall wellbeing, physically and mentally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, we need to talk about pooping, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I have a very sensitive stomach, very sensitive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when my stomach is not happy, mama s not happy, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to be careful with her." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that starts with eating a balanced diet, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need my fiber." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need my fat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need my protein." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need my carbs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need a very balanced situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when I eat very balanced, my body is happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My tummy is happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are some foods that irritate my stomach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, milk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some cheeses are fine, like hard cheese, fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Milk, like straight up milk, straight up ice cream, ouch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cauliflower, weirdly, hurts my stomach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pineapple, oh, I love it so much, hurts my stomach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are certain things that hurt my stomach and I just avoid those on a consistent basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But other than that, I just focus on eating as balanced as possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that also doesn t mean not having fun, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh-uh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because another big piece of my wellness routine is having fucking fun, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m out to dinner one night with friends and we order ice cream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to eat the ice cream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I going to be in pain a little bit?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but if it s going to make me happy to eat the ice cream, I m going to eat the ice cream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we order a cauliflower appetizer at a restaurant," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it looks really yummy to me and I really wanna eat it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Will I eat it even though it ll hurt my stomach?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe, if that s gonna make me happy, that s something I m gonna do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, balance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, when it comes to actual pooping, I need a Squatty Potty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need a Squatty Potty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what it is, it s a little wedge that you put right under your toilet so that when you re sitting on the toilet, your feet are elevated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, according to Squatty Potty s inventors," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Squatting moves your colon into the ideal position to go poop without straining." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This and similar posture changing devices claim that they can help you go more easily and avoid constipation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I have a particular problem with constipation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I really started out just talking about poop, but it s like, we re getting this over with and then we re gonna talk about other things, but let s just get the poop out of the way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause it s like, ugh." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, and also shed the people listening who who can t handle the real stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, you can t handle poop talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get out of here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, getting you all out of here, because if you can t take the heat, get out of my kitchen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need a squatty potty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I don t always have access to one, but I ll always find a way to get my legs into the right position." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve moved a mini trash can that was next to the toilet so that I could move my legs up on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just helps me poop so much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I need my squatty potty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s, you know, for me, keeping the gut right is so crucial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a combination of eating really balanced and nutritionally dense food, you know, on a regular basis and then having fun the rest of the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pooping with a squatty potty, that s really seemed to be what it takes for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also being aware of what my body reacts badly to and weighing the pros and cons of eating those things, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, well, that s going to hurt my stomach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I want to eat that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I do because it looks really yummy or it s not worth it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to ruin the rest of my evening and I m going to have to lay flat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or else I m going to be farting or something, or my stomach is just going to feel uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, hydration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have been dehydrated for my whole life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m the worst at drinking water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it s been a game changer for me to fill up my big Stanley cup, my big water bottle with ice and water with electrolytes in it, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do a little electrolyte powder in my water and it adds a little bit of flavor, which helps me drink more of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my favorite brand of electrolytes right now is Ultima, the brand Ultima." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like the raspberry flavor." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just helps me get the water down, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just having a big bottle of water all day long keeps me hydrated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m traveling and I don t have my big Stanley cup filled with water, I don t drink water." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll go a whole day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll go a whole day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how I m alive sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unbelievable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, it is crucial for me for many reasons to have my daily movement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my daily movement looks different every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s a workout class, like a bootcamp style class." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s hot Pilates." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s hot yoga." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s going for a walk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something I ve been recently doing is just walking on the treadmill and getting some work done on my phone, like doing emails, just walking on the treadmill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting my body moving a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I get my movement in by doing chores for like an hour." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just depends, but it s so important for me to be moving around because I sit a lot for my job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of sitting at my computer" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sitting here recording a podcast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of sitting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do a lot of sitting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I don t move enough, I don t sleep well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to be more anxious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel as strong and healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I get my fucking movement in, okay, every day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to, I m moving every day somehow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, in the shower, I shampoo and condition my hair with specific shampoo and conditioner meant for severely damaged hair, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know for a long time that it actually makes a difference to choose shampoo and conditioner specifically for your hair s needs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But over the past few years, I ve been discovering that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now, my hair is so damaged, so damaged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to know about that story, you can go listen to my episode that I made probably eight, 10 months ago now about when all my hair fell out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go listen to that if you re curious about that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m on a hair recovery journey right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m using shampoo and conditioner specifically formulated for severely damaged hair." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hair that has been damaged by heat, by bleach." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s super gentle and it s specifically for the type of hair that I have right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also exfoliate my body" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "every single time I m in the shower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have exfoliating gloves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they re like gloves that you put on your hands that are rough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I put exfoliating soap, okay, that has little exfoliating, I don t know, it might be sugar or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s sugar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do like a sugar scrub in these scrubbing mitts all over my body and I rub hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Gets all the dead skin off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feels good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels really good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I get out of the shower, I m lathering in oil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never liked lotion, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always had a hard time with lotion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve found lotions in the past that I like, but I ve always liked them because I ve been like, oh, it s good for a lotion, but I don t like the way lotion feels, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing against lotion, I just don t love the sensation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are some good ones out there, don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, it s just, it s never been my thing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always been something that I dread." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I get out of the shower and I m like, oh my god, I m so not excited to put the lotion on right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, even with my favorite lotion, I m like, ah, I d rather not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "put it on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like the way it feels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I started using body oil and wow, everything has changed for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being oiled up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get out of the shower and I just oil up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My favorite oil ever is the Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Body Fermenza Oil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, they have sponsored the podcast before, but they re not sponsoring this episode." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is completely unsponsored and I did not need to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not sponsored, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not sponsored." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just genuinely love that oil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, it is amazing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then for my hair, fresh out the shower, I have a scalp serum." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is rice water, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rice water serum all over my scalp." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I put it in my hands and I massage into my scalp." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then on the ends of my hair, I do, again, a specific serum meant for super damaged hair like mine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then occasionally, if I need a little bit more hydration, I ll spray a little bit of leave-in conditioner, brush it through, let it air dry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, we re on the hair healing journey right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Taking care of the hair is crucial." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for so many years, I really didn t take care of my hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d just get out of the shower and be like, okay, I m done now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve been adding products in that help to" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "moisturize and hydrate and seal and it s been really good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, the rice water serum on the scalp is supposed to help your hair grow, but I don t know if that s true to be honest, but I m using it anyway and my hair has been growing pretty fast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it has anything to do with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, I think it has to do with, I don t know, maybe what I m eating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I eat a lot of avocados and I feel like all the avocados are growing straight to my hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the avocado to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I read that somewhere that like avocado makes your hair grow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could be spreading so much fake news." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then let s talk about my morning skincare routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually the skincare routine I do fresh out of the shower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I start with a gentle cleanse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something very gentle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I use a gentle pH balancing toner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason why I use this is because if the skin s pH rises into the alkaline range, its natural balance is all fucked up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this messes with your skin s barrier function, which can result in water loss, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you want your skin to be hydrated, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When your skin s barrier function is all messed up, it s less resilient and more sensitive to things around us in our environment, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I like to use this pH balancing toner in the morning because it helps get the pH right so that my skin s more resilient to all the things that it will encounter throughout the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then on top of that, I use a light moisturizer, light, because I don t like being all slimy throughout the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now, that s all I m doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just those two products in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If my skin is super dry, I will do a thin layer of a face oil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently found out that my skin loves oil, which it just sounds counterintuitive to put oil on your skin when you re trying to clear your skin, but it really works for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been using oil a lot more recently and my skin loves it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s how I sort of take care of my physical body in the first half of the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I m really good about doing all those things," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel so good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I m not skipping steps, when I m taking the time to do all those things, it really makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it shows, you know, because I m taking care of my skin and my hair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as a result, I look more radiant in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I physically feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know how it is when you feel clean and moisturized and all that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just feel delish." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the next piece of my wellness routine is more about mental wellness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important to have a thoughtful schedule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a work, personal, social, life balance, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like to have specific days where I work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Usually for me, it s like Monday through Friday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, we re working, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Monday through Friday, Emma works." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma s work ends Friday night, because then it s the weekend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But during the week, most of the time I m alone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to parties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going out to dinner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not socializing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m working." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m hibernating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m getting things done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the second the weekend hits, it s go time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is obviously subject to change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are times when something comes up on a weekday and I m like, I really don t want to miss this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I ll go and that s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s also a part of my wellness routine is like giving myself a level of flexibility when it s something that s going to make me happy in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, I m very organized about when I work and when I m social." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t let people bully me into not sticking to my schedule." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that I feel best when I have five dedicated days a week to get my work done, and then I have two days to recover." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what works for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes people will be like, come on, like, yeah, it s Thursday, but like, whatever, it s almost Friday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, no, I have shit to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have to be firm about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s very important to me that I do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that ensures that I get all my shit done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it boosts my self esteem too, because I m getting my shit done, you know, and that makes me feel good about myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I give myself moments of relief in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I expend a lot of discipline when it comes to exercising, getting work done, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all do, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s important to give ourselves moments of relief." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for me, that s eating my lunch and watching a YouTube video in the middle of the workday or scrolling through Pinterest for a half hour in the middle of my workday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, sometimes I just need a little slice of relief." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that really helps me, you know, that helps me keep the mood up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also during the week, I find smart ways to integrate social time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I m driving to my morning workout class, I ll call one of my parents, check in with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m doing the chores around the house, I ll call one of my friends, check in with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m in bed about to go to sleep, I ll call one of my parents, maybe say good night." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like fitting things in where it makes sense, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being really thoughtful with my time and being really intentional with my time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually Friday right now when I m recording this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what I m doing later though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really look forward to my Fridays and when I don t have a fun Friday, I m bummed, which is so stupid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, no, it s not stupid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really enjoy my Fridays and I deserve to have my Fridays." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fridays make me happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Speaking of Fridays, another important piece of my wellness routine is not drinking too much alcohol." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "okay, really, really, really staying away from the alcohol." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will dapple in drinking, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not completely not drinking alcohol, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll have a glass of wine at dinner here, a tequila soda over here, but most nights, majority of nights, I m not surpassing two drinks over the course of like five hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still can be social and enjoy that, but I don t wake up the next morning feeling like I m really ill and I have no friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and everyone hates me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The anxiety I get after I drink is day-ruining, sometimes week-ruining, and it kind of ruins the next day for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every once in a while, I ll go crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I ll go crazy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll get drunk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll be fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every once in a while, I ll do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, for my general well-being," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re really keeping the alcohol to a minimum." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just makes me feel better overall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, let s talk about my makeup routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because this is a part of my wellness routine, you know, the way I do my makeup, because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I use makeup as a way to express myself, accentuate my features." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I use it as an accessory to my outfits at times, and I sort of have two routines." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is very simple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just concealer, mainly on my cheeks and around my mouth where I have redness or discoloration, and then blend that out, and then lip liner and a lip balm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I usually use a lip liner that is slightly darker than my natural lip color." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I fill it in with a balm that is a little bit lighter than the lip liner, but a little bit darker than my lip color." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s one look that I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, very simple, very light." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, and I ll like brush my eyebrows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I wanna go a little harder, I do a hydrating foundation, but I don t cover my under eyes anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve grown to really appreciate my dark circles under my eyes, and so I don t cover them anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I take the foundation and I put it pretty much everywhere except for under my eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I go in with concealer, touch up all the little blemishes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I take a cream bronzer, go on the cheekbone, a little bit on the forehead, a little bit on the jawline, whatever, blend that out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I set with a little bit of powder, a little bit of transparent powder, then I do" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a little bit of powdered bronzer just around the areas that I bronzed my face with the cream bronzer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I ve been doing the same eye look, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a sand color as the base." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I put a grayish dark brown into my crease, matte." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both of these are matte shadows." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I blend in sort of a darkish green, brown green, into the crease as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I just blend that out messily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then big lashes, you know, lots of mascara, a little bit chunky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it s kind of my vibe right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, again, it s the lip liner, the same one I talked about earlier, slightly darker." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "than my natural lip color with that pretty natural looking balm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the makeup look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I like about it is that it s a little vampy, you know, it s a little Count Dracula." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It looks a little dark." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for whatever reason, I m loving that right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m also loving not covering my dark circles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really am appreciating them and I m done covering them up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s sort of been my makeup routine recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of unique in a way because I don t use blush." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t use highlighter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little vampy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little Count Dracula-esque." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just a phase probably, but I m enjoying it for now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next piece, what I wear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So crucial for my wellness overall, because when I m in clothes that are uncomfortable, I am not myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be funny." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be witty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be thoughtful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t be engaged in a conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All I can think about is how uncomfortable the clothing I m wearing is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t preach this enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comfortable clothes will allow you to be the best version of yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It will allow your personality to shine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you do not have to sacrifice style to be comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sick of this narrative that beauty is pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Done with it, not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can, okay, put together a badass outfit that is so comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I prioritize that over everything else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to go out unless I m wearing a comfortable outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only exception is for fashion events, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m going to a fashion event, all bets are off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, we re just trying to make a cool look." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on a day-to-day basis, even on the weekends when I go out, it s all about comfort." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t need to wear super tight pants that are like choking me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, if I do, maybe I ll make them extra stretchy so that they re comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to wear a turtleneck that s too tight around my neck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I ll wear a different shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like comfort is number one priority." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I meditate in journal intuitively." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I meditate in journal when I need it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that this is how it s the most beneficial for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m forcing myself to be super regimented about it, it can sometimes start to feel like a chore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I inevitably fail at sticking to it consistently, it ends up just messing with my self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So keeping those tools in my toolbox is very helpful, but I only utilize them when I need them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, occasional massages." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the type of person getting a massage every week, but there are two types of massages that I get when I need them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And oh my God, I mean, it s the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the best thing in the world, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you need a massage and you get a massage, it s amazing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad gets massages as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s kind of the one that inspired me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s like, Emma, this is life-changing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has really become a part of my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, from the various exercises that I do, I get really, really locked up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I m finding that I m really locked up, I ll go in and get a super deep tissue massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and they ll work out all the little knots that I have around and I will leave feeling a thousand times better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I do it every month?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not even." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I don t go in for six months, but then sometimes I go in three times in a month." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all over the place." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I feel myself tight and uncomfortable, I now know I got to go get a massage and it has been a game changer for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also get lymphatic massages, and that s a slightly different type of massage." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s basically, let s Google it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lymph drainage massage has become a popular form of massage due to its potential health benefits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This specialized approach focuses" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "on the lymphatic system, which is part of the immune system." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This type of massage aims to help the body maintain proper blood circulation, blood fluid balance, and immune functions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I love to get lymphatic drainage massages when I ve just traveled or I m super hormonal and I m like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "swollen, and I feel inflamed and uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, when I m having stomach issues, lymphatic drainage really helps with my stomach issues because they massage the stomach in a certain way that really helps." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "move things along, if you will." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those are the two types of massages that I get." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, it depends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go through phases with them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not super consistent on a weekly basis or anything, but I go when I need it and I know when I need it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so glad I started going because it really makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now let s talk about my teeth routine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a huge part of my wellness routine because fun fact about me, I have receding gums." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you don t know what receding gums are, it s when your gums are starting to disappear, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re starting to shrink shorter and shorter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So more of your teeth are starting to show." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s not good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s genetic for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have very thin gum tissue and receding gums in general, just run in my family." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the last time I was at the dentist, they were like, Emma, your teeth are very clean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re taking great care of your teeth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but your gums are fucked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you are going to need gum surgery sooner than you should if you don t fix your gums." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was upsetting for me to hear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was like, what do I do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were like, well, number one, it s probably because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re brushing too hard and your gums are already thin." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re easy to damage, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re brushing too hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve really made it a priority to brush lighter, brush really light." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always thought that my teeth weren t getting clean if I wasn t brushing really hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apparently that s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been brushing lighter, using sensitive toothpaste, using soft-bristled toothbrushes, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Flossing every night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always lied to the dentist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, you floss every day?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, twice a day, babe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meanwhile, I m flossing once every six months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, that s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, once a week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe once or twice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, once a week at least." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I wasn t always great at flossing, but I was brushing so hard and my teeth looked really clean to me, so I was like, we re good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The flossing really helps with the gum health as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I ve been using a water pick to really clean in between the teeth." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A water pick is like this stick that you put in your mouth and it sprays water in between your teeth to clean it out really well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s been helping as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have a very specific routine for my gums and my gums are looking a lot better actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you also brush too hard when you brush your teeth, take this advice, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because this is what my dentist told me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re brushing your teeth, don t think about all the shit that happened to you throughout the day, because that s gonna make you brush harder, because you re all stressed out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus on simply your brush touching your teeth, and focus on doing that gently, and watch what happens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my gums are looking great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, Emma needs a heating pad in bed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love laying on a heating pad in bed," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t fall asleep with it on, but right up until the final second, that shit s on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And simultaneously, my bedroom needs to be at 65 degrees." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sound like a diva, and maybe I am, but that recipe is unbelievable for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times, that works wonders." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I need, a cold room and a heating pad, and I m asleep in a second." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes I need a little bit more and sleep is important for my wellness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have some backup plans." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will listen to a sleep meditation if I need one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That helps me a lot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the next morning I wake up and I feel refreshed and clear minded." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should honestly listen to them every single night." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some nights I just want to fall asleep to the TV." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I let myself do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes I fall asleep to nothing, just silence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s nice too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the sleep meditation is probably the best option I ve experienced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then if that doesn t work, I ll take a little bit of magnesium and that really helps me relax." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if that doesn t work, I ll take a little bit of melatonin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I used to take way too much melatonin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, melatonin is a supplement." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a vitamin." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re supposed to take like, I don t know, one to five milligrams." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to take 10 every night and it would give me insane nightmares." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I used to have a really hard time falling asleep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was taking too much melatonin and I don t think it s dangerous, but you shouldn t do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nowadays, I take two or three milligrams when I want to go to sleep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last but not least, I just discovered that I m really allergic to my cats." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only that, but I also am allergic to the pollen outside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have allergies, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been taking an allergy pill almost every day, and that has been helping me keep my allergies under control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I never even realized how bad my allergies were until they got so bad that I was like, I need to do something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I took allergy medicine, like over-the-counter Claritin, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "changed everything for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, why have I not been doing this this whole time?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just been dealing with my allergies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always try not to take a pill or something if I don t need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my allergies have always been somewhat frustrating, but never to a point where it was like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "hard for me to function, and then this year it just got so bad that I started taking allergy medicine, and that s really making me feel good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I love having my nails done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a part of my wellness routine, always having fresh, clean nails, because I might have a pimple, my hair might be falling out, I might smell like shit, but my nails will always look good, and that makes me happy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love having my nails done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the best feeling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that really is a priority for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really get my hair done very often." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t wear makeup every day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not super consistent with makeup, but I m really consistent about the nails." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The nails are never forgotten." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re never neglected." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re up there on the list of priorities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now let s discuss my evening skincare routine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty similar to my morning skincare routine, but it s different enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I start by removing my makeup, if I m wearing makeup." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wear makeup twice a week, usually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If nothing s going on, like I m not going to events and stuff, and it s just a normal week, I wear makeup like twice a week." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I ll remove it using a makeup wipe, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m on the go, I m using a makeup wipe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I keep makeup wipes everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my car, in my bag, everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when I m on the go, I want to be able to take my makeup off immediately when I don t need to be wearing makeup anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, at the end of the night, let s say I went to dinner, let s say I went to a party, I want to get into my car and be able to take my makeup off immediately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To some of you, that might be overkill." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love taking my makeup off and I want to do it immediately when I can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, sometimes I take my makeup off" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "starting with a makeup wipe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I take my makeup off at home, I start out with eye makeup remover." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how people don t use eye makeup remover and they just go in immediately with a facial cleanser and they, you know, get their mascara and eye makeup off using that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really don t like that method." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I take the time to specifically remove my eye makeup, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I soak a cotton pad with eye makeup remover and I really get every last little particle of mascara off my eye." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I go in and I cleanse my face." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a really great makeup removing cleanser." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of milky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s really gentle, and I ll cleanse my face with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I feel like it didn t get all my makeup off, I ll use that cleanser again, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll wash my face twice with the same cleanser." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s super gentle." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s good at breaking down makeup and stuff like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll use that cleanser twice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I go in with a chemical exfoliant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what I was doing before I started using chemical exfoliants." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, what a chemical exfoliant is, is it s a type of product that helps to get rid of the dead skin cells that are on your face." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve noticed personally when I m using a chemical exfoliant regularly, my skin looks more vibrant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I break out less, and my skin just feels softer, more hydrated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s changed my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll use a chemical exfoliant, and then after that, I use a thick night cream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "During the day, I want to wear something a bit lighter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At night, I want to be soaked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want my face to look soaked." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I put on a thick night cream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when I m feeling like my eyes are dry, this isn t all the time, but when I m feeling like my eyes are dry, I ll put on a thick nighttime eye cream." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This isn t a daily occurrence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is only when I feel like my under eyes need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to use the least amount of products possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I try to only use things when I feel like I need them, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then last step is a little bit, just a little bit of oil on the face." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I use a face oil." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it just locks in the hydration." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it just does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s my finishing touch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then if my lips are dry, I ll put on a little bit of lip balm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, I m not picky about the lip balm." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll use whatever the fuck I have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the nighttime skincare." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to be honest, it s pretty simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s pretty short." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I found that less is more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m keeping it as limited as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I found that my skin is just happier that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just happier that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, staying off the internet as much as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I enjoy the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I enjoy consuming things on the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And actually, at times, it brings me joy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s YouTube videos that I watch, TV shows that I watch, Instagram, people on Instagram that I follow or stalk that genuinely bring me joy or inspire me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like the Internet is not all that right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have to have boundaries with it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not going to lie." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is an ongoing journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I ll ever fucking figure it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I ll ever have it in a really healthy place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s always going to be a push and a pull, like trying to get it to this right" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "homeostasis where it s net positive or net neutral, ideally net positive, but at least net neutral, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Homeostasis, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s doable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having it be beneficial, I think it s possible too, but it s much harder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so important for me to have boundaries with the phone and with the internet and with the computer so that I make sure that I m living in the real world too, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to consume internet content while I m eating, okay, when I m eating." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "breakfast, when I m eating lunch, if I m having dinner alone, when I m eating dinner, or when I m doing chores." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll listen to a podcast or listen to a YouTube video or watch a YouTube video." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of my workday before bed, I like to wind down with a little bit of media." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But other than that, I really try to stay off it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ideally, if I can, I try to replace those moments with other activities like, can I get lunch with a friend?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could I listen to music while I m eating instead?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I try to see like, hey, do I need this internet time?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes I really want it and sometimes I don t." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But having good boundaries with the internet is huge." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s tough for all of us." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But creating specific times for internet usage and trying to pack your schedule with as many real life events as possible makes all the difference." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I consistently try to do and upkeep." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that makes me feel really good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s sort of my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We covered a lot of things here, inside and out, and I probably missed a bunch of stuff too, but that s all I could fucking think of." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like I m able to do all of these things, and it s not like a full-time job." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have such a specific wellness routine that it literally takes me four hours a day to just" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "participate in it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It melds into my lifestyle, and I think that that s the way that you make it work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you also give yourself flexibility too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ultimately, your wellness routine has to make sense for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to make you feel your best." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "your wellness routine is going to look different than your friend, your parent, whatever." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s all about figuring out what makes you feel the best." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also, what s doable?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what can you actually do?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of times we put way too much on our plates and then we just end up worse off, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that s all I have to say." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my wellness routine." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed and" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you stream podcasts, but video is exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can follow Anything Goes at Anything Goes on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find us in a store, on the store locator, or order online." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was my absolute pleasure, and I hope that you enjoyed it and had fun with me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, tune in next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At this point in my life, I m done getting embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to get embarrassed anymore, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve spent years and years and years of my life getting embarrassed constantly, as we all have, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s part of being a human being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you didn t get embarrassed, it would be weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fundamental part of being a human being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "With that being said, I m done with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not doing it anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I refuse to get embarrassed now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I used to think that it was sort of out of my control whether or not I got embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something would happen that triggers me to be embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my subconscious decides to just be embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I fumble my words." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get red in the face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get really quiet afterwards." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just what happens and it s out of my control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am now aware that it is in your control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I ve actually cracked the code." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I the first person to crack the code?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cracking the code is not unique to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t invent the cure for embarrassment, but I will say that my journey" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to almost completely curing embarrassment was very organic and was not influenced by some sort of 10-step guide that I found on Google." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it all sort of happened within me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today, I m going to be sharing with you how I don t get embarrassed anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of an exaggeration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How I keep embarrassment to a minimum in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassing things still happen to me all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That cannot be prevented, but embarrassment, the feeling can be prevented." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I ve learned to prevent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before I talk about how I stopped getting embarrassed, for the most part, let s start this conversation out by learning why humans get embarrassed, because I didn t really know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks to americanscientist.org." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What causes embarrassment?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rowland S. Miller found that what lies at the root of embarrassment is the anticipation of negative evaluation by others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We become embarrassed when we perceive that the social image we want to project has been undermined and that others are forming Negative impressions of us that definitely covers a large portion of embarrassment, you know Thinking that we did something that was embarrassing and everybody is looking at us thinking what a loser" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, pretty obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But John Sabini and his colleagues propose that embarrassment is likely to arise when a person anticipates a disruption of smooth social interaction and faces a situation without a clear sense of the social expectations governing behavior." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that the person is worried about making a bad impression per se, but rather that he or she doesn t know what to do next." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, that really rounds it out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those two explanations, both different, but both very valid for why we get embarrassed, complete the picture in my mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassment doesn t really exist without other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if you trip and fall at home when you re by yourself, you re not going to get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might be like, oh my God, I can t believe I just did that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re not going to get red in the face." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not going to be worried about how it s going to impact your life moving forward as long as you didn t get hurt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just kind of comes and goes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassment comes down to the reactions from other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this is pretty obvious, but you know, I m just laying the groundwork as I do, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was curious about the biological function of embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of our behaviors are due to survival mechanisms that we needed in the past." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanted to see if there was a link between embarrassment and how we survived a long time ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what I found." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassment seems likely to serve three basic functions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First, it serves as an appeasement gesture to others by signaling that the violation was unintended and it will not be repeated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Second, the intense dread of experiencing this emotion, embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Likely deters us from repeating whatever behaviors triggered the state Thus embarrassment is seen as a social counterpart to physical pain just as physical pain alerts us to threats to our physical well-being Embarrassment alerts us to threats to our social well-being possible rebuke and rejection Third embarrassment motivates us to undo the social damage and restore the esteem of others" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re social beings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We always have been." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And embarrassment is a feeling that we experience to help keep our asses in line." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, it s like when you trip and fall in front of everyone, that s not your fault." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like you need to get your ass into line because you tripped and fell." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, I think we feel embarrassment to keep our asses in line." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if we say something that s kind of whack," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or we do something that s kind of whack, we feel embarrassment to make sure that we learn from that mistake." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we didn t feel embarrassed, we would have no reason to change and we d have no reason to improve our social behaviors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, I do think embarrassment is a necessary feeling in some ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to wronging other people, doing inconsiderate things, doing morally wrong things, I think embarrassment and shame is necessary." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when it comes to harmless things like tripping and falling, making a mistake during a speech in front of a big group of people, accidentally farting, when it comes to these innocent," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s beneficial to learn how to make those moments less embarrassing, or if possible, not embarrassing at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the types of situations that I m talking about today, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the types of embarrassing situations that don t need to be embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think it is kind of important to feel embarrassed when you fuck up in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m not really referring to that as much today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That type of embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So here s how I stopped getting embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s two pieces to this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s an external piece to this, and there s an internal piece to this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And both have to be in unison." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t have one without the other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They go hand in hand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the external piece of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about not seeming embarrassed to the outside world and not feeling embarrassed genuinely inside, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you get a little ping of embarrassment, but it goes away quickly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with how to seem like you re not embarrassed when something embarrassing happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The external piece of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s run through an embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us, myself included, will just get filled with adrenaline and we ll get super red and we ll start talking really fast about God knows what to try to cover it up or whatever, and we ll seem frantic and all over the place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of us start crying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like now that we re adults, maybe less, but still, some people start crying or get really emotional when they get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s a little bit different, but the first step" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is not rushing to do anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before you react at all, give yourself a second, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about like three seconds." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about like a second and a half, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Give yourself a little time to gather your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need a lot of time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s give an example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you trip and fall." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of rushing to get back up, slowly start to get back up and just think for a second before you make your next move." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that you start to feel yourself being embarrassed, slow down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No rushing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Rushing leads to more embarrassment, I ve found." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two, take deep breaths." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Keep it cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do everything in your power to just keep it cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can even lower your voice like this a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done it when I ve been embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lower my voice a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk super cool and calm." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now that you re slowed down, cooled down, it s time to make the next move." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now there are a few options here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do all three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do two out of the three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do one out of the three." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s up to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, own it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I ll use the tripping and falling example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You trip and fall." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You slowly, calmly get up and you say, whoops." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just own it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s another badass example?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you say something embarrassing in a conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you overshare a little bit about something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you get a little TMI." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re talking about how you shit yourself last week." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can see that the other person didn t really like you bringing that up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they didn t respond well to that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you re feeling a little bit embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you say?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You say, that was too much information, wasn t it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really sorry." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was just too much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You didn t deserve that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was too much." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Own it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Own the fact that you just overshared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be like, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a little TMI, wasn t it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I overshared again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second you own it, you just diffuse the whole thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like immediately, everyone is disarmed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, you feel good because you re like, I just got this off my chest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no elephant in the room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, something embarrassing happened to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s off your chest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s out there in the open." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s an open dialogue about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t feel like you have to tiptoe around it or cover it up or hide it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just put it all out there and that allows you to just let it go and move on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, the people who witnessed the embarrassing moment or experienced the embarrassing moment will be like, oh, they just made that not weird anymore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So now I don t think it s weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I actually kind of think that they re badass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just owned it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they just forget about it immediately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second way to proceed is to turn it into a joke." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, this is my default." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every time I get embarrassed, it s a joke now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoops, it s a joke." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I trip and fall, I get up, I take a bow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that really that funny?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, not really, but it s better than nothing, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I say something embarrassing in a conversation, I somehow turn it into a joke." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I had an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But adding humor into it, again, immediately diffuses it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the last way to proceed is to laugh with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something embarrassing happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laughter erupts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re the butt of the joke." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laugh with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Throw your fucking head back and cackle like you are the wicked witch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cackle it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Laugh with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think sometimes you ll naturally just start laughing when something embarrassing happens to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes you might have to fake it a little bit and that s okay too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes the laugh is just the right way to go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you ll know it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll feel it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll be like, I don t have a joke right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how to address this head on yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just start laughing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t apply in every situation though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you re in a conversation and you say something that s weird or too much and someone reacts weird to it and then you feel embarrassed, it would be weird to just burst out laughing out of nowhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe don t use this method all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll know when it feels right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After you ve handled the initial blow of the embarrassment, how do you proceed?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wanna know what I do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Move on immediately like nothing ever happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, sometimes you have to fake it, because sometimes you re still a little rattled, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second you see an opportunity to change the subject, to move on to something else, you do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If there s no opportunity, you make the opportunity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something embarrassing happens, you have your recovery, nothing s there to cling on to, to move on to, what do you do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You say something like, have you seen Top Gun Maverick?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The special effects in it are crazy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just thought about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just create something, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You pull something out of your ass, pull something out of your ass." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might feel a little uncomfortable at first because you re like, oh my God, I m just brushing over this embarrassing thing that just happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But don t worry about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about moving forward, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Leaving that shit in the past." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you dance around it for too long, then it gets awkward and embarrassing again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to move past it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to break the spell." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s this embarrassment spell." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to break it by" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "changing the subject, moving on completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to do it as soon as possible or else you re setting yourself up for another embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, all of that is great for not seeming embarrassed on the outside, but none of that is possible without some internal work as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the internal work is the most impactful, but I will say that the art of playing it cool on the outside shall not be ignored because that s an art in itself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really saw a difference in my own life when I fixed a few things on the inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, my self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, listen, I m constantly working on my self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Due to various factors, it s constantly" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "getting better, and then getting worse, and then getting way better, and then getting way worse, and then getting better, and then getting worse, and then getting way better, and then getting way worse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no destination when it comes to working on your self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re never going to get to a point where you re like, I am perfectly satisfied with where my self-esteem is at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I will say, the better your self-esteem is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the easier it is to brush off an embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when your self-esteem is high, or as high as it can be, you don t really care what other people think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of the day, embarrassment comes down to what other people think of you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we get embarrassed when we re anticipating a reaction from other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re more confident, we re less likely to be affected by what other people think." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, my self-esteem is the best when I only have people around me who are on my team, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re rooting for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing things in my life that make me proud in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing good things for other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m creatively satisfied in some way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m working hard and using a level of discipline." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m taking the best care of myself that I possibly can while not being too strict." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m staying true to myself, morals, values, blah, blah, blah, shut up, Emma, I know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my self-esteem is in a good spot," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Embarrassing moments are like, whatever, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s when my self-esteem is lower that it might take a little bit more effort to diffuse the embarrassment within myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that little flicker of embarrassment when something embarrassing happens might linger a bit longer than when my self-esteem is high." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When my self-esteem is high, I might not even get that flicker of embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if I do, it s so small and so short that it might as well have not even happened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve gotten to a point now where even when my self-esteem is low, I can still diffuse it because I ve practiced not letting the embarrassment happen so much that now it s sort of muscle memory." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even when my self-esteem is a bit lower, I can still manage it, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s just a little harder in those moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, working on your ego and working on being as humble as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An inflated ego is so sensitive to an embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, imagine this like super cool person, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big ego, cocky, seems like they have everything going for them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Imagine that person up on a stage in front of 500 people doing a speech" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and accidentally forgetting their lines and looking through their papers, trying to figure out where they were, completely losing themselves in front of everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is going to be 50 times more embarrassing for that type of person than it would be for somebody who knows that they re just a human being, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re no superhero." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t need to be the coolest person in the room at all times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easier for the person who s humble to recover from an embarrassing moment because their ego is tame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so much better to approach every situation in life with humility and with no ego or as little ego as possible because it sets you free." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives you the room to go and embarrass yourself as much as you want because you see yourself as a normal flawed human being just like the rest of us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you re not trying to prove to anyone that you re the most important, cool, badass person in the room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve put yourself on the same level as everyone else, and that keeps everything in check." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so building on that, you got to drop the facade, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are many facades that we put up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We put on a facade to protect ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we can use these facades when" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we re not confident in ourselves to our core and we feel like in order to be liked we need to pretend to be something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we also use various facades to protect us from embarrassment in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re portraying ourselves in a formulaic way that is proven to make people think of us a certain way, then there s no risk of being embarrassed, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we put on a facade, we re copying something that we know works." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we know how we feel about the cool kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if we pretend to be like the cool kid too, we can expect other people to react to us the way that we reacted to the cool kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tested." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s well tested." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas our unique personalities are not as well tested." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like everyone is so different that it s more of a free for all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be a bit scary to be completely yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t know how people are going to respond." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be embarrassing to be yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s what I ve learned, okay, the hard way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you try to be something you re not, you try to be the cool kid, you try to be the artsy kid, you try to be the hot person, you re creating an image that is impossible to upkeep because inevitably something will happen that will break that fantasy, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it ll usually come through an embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something embarrassing happens and now your facade is broken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because you put on this facade and think that it protects you from all things embarrassing and you almost convince other people that you re indestructible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when something does happen, the illusion is completely shattered and you re even more embarrassed than you need to be because now not only did something embarrassing happen to you, but also your facade has sort of been shattered." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s so much better to remove the facade and just be a human being who s dynamic and has flaws and has strengths and who accepts both of those things about themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you portray that human side of yourself," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People expect embarrassing things to happen because embarrassing things happen to normal human beings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not setting an expectation that s too high." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re setting a very normal, healthy expectation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I m just a human being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna have embarrassing moments and I m gonna have really cool moments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s me, I m a human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas the cool kid is expected to never have an embarrassing moment because they re the cool kid." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the hot kid is supposed to always be suave and cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and never fumble." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, next, you do have to try to let go of what people think of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is like the worst piece of advice ever because it s so hard to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the advice is easiest to take when it s phrased more like this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who love you and care about you are not gonna judge you when something embarrassing happens, are not gonna stop loving you when something embarrassing happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those are the people that really matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the opinions that really matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you have that, it doesn t matter what anyone else thinks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s that piece of it, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The most important people in your life will love you regardless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that doesn t help with the rest of the world, now does it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth is, you can t control what other people think of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can only control what you do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when you re doing your absolute best, doesn t mean perfect, but when you re doing your absolute best to be a good person, to do the right thing, you don t have to care what other people think of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very hard to ignore what people think of you when deep down you don t feel good about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t feel confident in who you are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not proud of yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This world is so big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be a lot of people that laugh at you, make fun of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also going to be a lot of people who love you and adore you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only people that really matter are the people that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "love you and adore you despite the embarrassing, cringy, weird, awkward moments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The other people don t really matter as much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, remember that the people around you are human too, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve been embarrassed before too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not special." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because you got embarrassed this time doesn t mean anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone that just witnessed or experienced the embarrassing moment has also been embarrassed before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just your time right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been so helpful for me to remember, like, wait a minute, this has happened to everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not special." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is just part of being human." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I try to remember how iconic it is to do something embarrassing and then to recover smoothly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It inspires me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When something embarrassing happens, within a split second, I m inspired to turn it into a win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every embarrassment now is an opportunity to win." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whether I make it a funny joke or I address it head on and own it and prove to other people that I m self-aware in some way, or I m just laughing it off with them, releasing some endorphins with those who are laughing at me, or I play it so cool that everyone s like, wow," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s really comfortable with herself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s iconic to have a smooth recovery from an embarrassing moment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s how I stopped getting embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you might be thinking, Emma, you didn t fully eradicate the feeling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it still pops up a little bit here and there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It still has to be covered up a little bit here and there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but overall, it s gone, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I refuse to be embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I refuse." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I almost never get embarrassed anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s taken practice over time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve had to practice all of these things, internal and external." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And over time, I ve gotten better at it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it just comes naturally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even have to think about it anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the beginning, a lot of it was sort of," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "forced in a way, because I had to teach myself how to not get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then over time, it became an instinct, and now I just don t get embarrassed anymore as much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I imagine it works a little differently for everyone, but I think that it s an incredible skill to teach yourself because when you re not afraid of being embarrassed, because you know how to handle being embarrassed," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, it s easier to be yourself, which is the most charming version of yourself that you can be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, it makes you more open to trying new things because you re not afraid of being embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just takes a weight off of you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Walking around not being afraid of being embarrassed is such a relief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like a weight that we carry around when we don t have it figured out, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t tell you the relief I feel in my life now that I m not afraid of being embarrassed because I know exactly how to handle it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There used to be a few key scenarios that really made me embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I know exactly how to handle them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, getting compliments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always had a hard time with receiving compliments because I don t always believe that I deserve them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also don t know what to say." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how to respond." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I used to get really red and respond chaotically and be like, oh, oh, ooh, like, no, no, like, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like somebody would be like, you look really good today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I d be like, no, I don t, no, I don t, no, I don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hair looks like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t wipe when I pooped this morning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I would," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "freak out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I try to take people s compliments to heart." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of, you know, responding the way that I used to, I just say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I m feeling uncomfortable and I m like, oh, I don t know what to say after thank you," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just compliment them back about something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I move on, I move on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also used to get embarrassed about seeming like I m trying too hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, a school dance would be coming up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to dread any time I had to get dressed up because I was always afraid that I was gonna be the one that overdressed and looks like they were trying too hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nowadays what I do is I try as hard as I want in any scenario in life" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just own it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I want to go all out and get super dolled up to go out to dinner with my friends, and they didn t get all dolled up, and I did, and it s kind of weird because it s like, wow, she tried really hard tonight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I did try really hard tonight because I was in the mood." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who the fuck cares?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do you care?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to get dolled up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not embarrassing that I wanted to get all dolled up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s cool that I wanted to put effort into something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve sort of reframed it in my head where I m like, I m just going to try as hard as I want and I m just going to own it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I own it, then it s not embarrassing anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I think what was embarrassing about it was like, oh, I don t want people to think that I didn t get the memo and I tried too hard because I m out of the loop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when you own it, then you re like, no, no, no, I m in the loop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in the loop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just tried as hard as I wanted to try." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I wanted to do what I wanted to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, I ve always hated tripping and people freaking out and being like, Oh my God, are you okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always hated that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think we all do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but what do I do now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a joke out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a fucking joke out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might trip and fall on the floor and instead of getting up immediately, I do a pose on the ground or I get up and I say, take me to the hospital." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can only say that though to somebody who like has a sense of humor because some people might be like, we actually, and then it s now you re actually creating more embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, read the room a little bit, but it s that," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also always felt really embarrassed by being like, oh my God, I don t know how to explain this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always been so embarrassing to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It still kind of is actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is something I m still working on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like the one thing that s still challenging for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like all other things I feel like I m good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get embarrassed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been the hardest thing for me to stop getting embarrassed about." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "sex, like anything with sex or anything sexual, anything sex, which is funny because it s not like I don t talk about it or it s not like talking about it makes me uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I about to overshare?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Damn it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m already handling the embarrassment of me oversharing right now by being like, oh, am I oversharing?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m addressing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m addressing it up front." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sex and being sexual can be very embarrassing, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be embarrassing to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m pretty good at handling embarrassing moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like there are so many embarrassing moments during sex, and I think the reason for that is because we re dealing with two people who are trying to impress the other person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that goes back to the whole thing with the facade." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a lot of times you put on a facade when you re trying to court somebody else to have sex with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I found that I m less embarrassed in that situation when I m just fully being myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But here s the problem." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fully being yourself is like not stereotypically hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of facade going on with sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that is what we re sort of taught to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, we re supposed to be like hot and mysterious and like crazy and like freak." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a lot of times that s not genuine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that those traits can come out genuinely, but at least in my experience, it s like in order for those things to come out genuinely, I have to be being myself across the board." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a little scary, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, as I mentioned earlier, it s much safer to have a facade, especially in romantic situations, because you want the person that you re courting to think that you re hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or to think that you re cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so the most obvious way to convince them of that is to put on a facade that you are that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then the problem is, when you have that facade up, then anytime anything goes wrong, it s like, oh, it s breaking the spell." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s shattering this illusion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you go into these types of situations being completely yourself, it is a bit scarier because you re like, Oh my God, I m not all hot, cool, mysterious across the board." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m much more dynamic than that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you enter a situation being fully yourself, it s scarier, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I will say that it eliminates a lot of the embarrassing moments because something embarrassing happens and you can just kind of laugh it off and like, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because no facade is being shattered." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even beyond that, like beyond an actual sexual situation, even just me thinking about myself in a sexual context is embarrassing to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or was, I m getting better about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, this has been the hardest one for me to figure out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like the one outlier, like this is the one thing I ve not cracked the code of because there s more work that needs to be done with this one, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s because it s such a deeply vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "thing that is so personal that it s embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you really let your guard down when you have sex." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you just, you let your guard down." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then in retrospect, it can be so embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, oh my God, I can t believe I did that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what did they think of that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We really put the opinions of people that we have sex with on a pedestal a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always, but a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because, I don t know, we usually think highly of these people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why we re having sex with them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we did not feel that way about them, we might not do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the thing is, like, there s nothing to be embarrassed of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it s so human to have sex and to be a sexual person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing cringe about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s nothing embarrassing about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it s deeply vulnerable, deeply personal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s what we do, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s what we do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today, you guys." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fucking it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you all enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did, let me know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Leave a review on Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stream Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts, but watch video exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was drinking a little cute iced latte today using our new caramel blend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fucking delish." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just hope that you re all having a phenomenal day and you re feeling good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re not, I hope that you have a phenomenal day and feel good soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as always, it s such a pleasure to spend time with you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so grateful to all of you who tune in and want to hang out because you don t have to do this and you do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that means a lot to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ll see you when I see you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like everyone falls into one of two categories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Category number one, mysterious, unknown." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Category number two, super open, super honest, super vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously there are different levels to these personality traits, but I feel like almost everyone falls into one of the two of those categories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally fall into the category of being super open, super honest, super vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve learned to appreciate this personality trait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve learned to see it as a positive thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because I m living this personality trait, I m very, very aware of the challenges that come with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I m prone to oversharing, especially when I consume alcohol." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My last episode was entirely about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The episode is called Am I Oversharing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go check it out if you want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through the years, I ve gotten better about making this personality trait a positive thing for me because for a long time, I think" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this trait manifested in me oversharing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And subconsciously over time, it s gotten much better and I ve been able to sort of control it so that its impact is more positive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for myself and for the people around me, though I still occasionally overshare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even though I have a good relationship with this personality trait, I still wish sometimes that I was mysterious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I was that type of person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s one of those things where it s like the grass is always greener." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there are probably a lot of people who are more mysterious by nature who wish that they were more open and honest and vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of challenges that come with being mysterious as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not as aware of those because I m not mysterious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could not be less of a mysterious person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think what makes me wish I was mysterious was the overall vibe that mysterious people put out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people tend to seem cooler." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason for that is that you re able to sort of project your ideas of what they might be onto them because they re not giving you that answer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody who s super open and honest is literally telling you and showing you exactly who they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you don t have the space to imagine what they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re giving it to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who are mysterious are somewhat of a blank canvas." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not giving you a lot of information about themselves, so you can paint a picture of who they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times, the picture that you re going to paint is going to be" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "way cooler than they probably really are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think mysterious people are able to create the illusion that they re cooler much easier because they re giving you the opportunity to fill in those blanks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, mysterious people are protected and safe in a way that I somewhat envy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being open and honest and vulnerable because it allows me to connect with other people and feel close to other people and make other people feel comfortable and create more friendships and create more relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, I sometimes find myself really overwhelmed by the fact that, wow, everyone knows a lot about me, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So many people know a lot about me, you know, in real life and online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not a mystery." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone knows who I am and everyone knows a lot of intimate details about me and my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have moments where I feel super exposed and I m like stressed out and overwhelmed by the fact that there s almost no information that s completely just mine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone knows so much about me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people are the opposite." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They keep all of their information close to heart and they never find themselves in a place where they re like, oh my God, everyone knows so much about me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t have that crisis and I envy that when I m in a moment of crisis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also envy mysterious people because they re sort of addicting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might disagree, but in my experience, mysterious people are addicting because you constantly are trying to figure out who they are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re constantly trying to crack them, figure out what s inside because you have your ideas about who they are, but you still have this desire to figure them out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like a puzzle that you can t solve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you never get bored." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, eventually you might get bored, but there s something so intriguing and captivating about a mysterious person because they are an unsolvable puzzle and that effect that they have on people is so" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "enviable to me sometimes because I m like, oh my god, nobody is ever laying awake at night staring at the ceiling being like, oh, I just need to figure her out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one has to figure me out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m giving all the information you could ever want on a silver platter." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to read between the lines to be like, is she seriously really sensitive in there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you already know how sensitive I am, how I think about the world, my opinions on everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if that makes people bored of me, but I think people are less obsessed with trying to figure me out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that to say, I." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "envy mysterious people a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every once in a while, I have a thought where I m like, should I work on being more mysterious?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would that benefit me in some way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I ve been thinking recently about this open, vulnerable, honest side of my personality, this has come back up for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today, I wanted to sort of figure out whether or not I should try to be more mysterious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, spoiler alert, I don t think it s gonna happen." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go down the rabbit hole anyway and see what we find." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s discuss the reality of being mysterious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when I look at people who are mysterious, I have rose-colored glasses on, I see it as such a cool, hot lifestyle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve yet to sort of read between the lines and really think about what it would be like to be a mysterious person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we need to investigate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve already touched on this, but because people don t know a lot about mysterious people, people are forced to fill in the gaps to try to figure out who the mysterious person really is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that this can be a good thing in the beginning of a friendship or a relationship because the person who s experiencing the mysterious person" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is using their imagination to figure out who the mysterious person is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re probably filling in the gaps in a much more flattering way than reality would provide." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think in a lot of ways, being mysterious is attractive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, is it attractive in a way that s rooted in reality?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, but it s getting someone in the door." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s getting someone interested in you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And arguably, that s a good thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whether or not it s rooted in reality because hopefully people get to know you and then they re like, oh my God, you were so mysterious and cool in the beginning, but now that I ve started to see the real you, I really actually like you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that could be a good thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say, when it comes to dating, I love a mysterious guy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my irrational brain, the irrational side of my brain, tends to be the one who s the most active during dating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just something hot about somebody who s mysterious to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being able to project my idea of the perfect guy onto this mysterious man, who maybe is hot to me, you know, physically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not the healthiest method of dating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Deep down the rational side of my brain knows this is all a silly little illusion, but the irrational side of my brain is louder and I tend to choose mysterious guys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think that mysterious people get thought about more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the more that you think about somebody, the more that you sort of care about them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I feel like mysterious people can really infect the minds of people in a way that makes them more infectious at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, that can be good for building a social circle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re constantly on people s minds, because they re trying to figure you out, chances are they re going to want to hang out with you more, be around you more, because they re trying to figure you out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they ve projected this idea of what they want you to be onto you, and then they want to be around that person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That may not even necessarily be real, but again, who cares?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s helpful, I guess, in social situations for the mysterious person, regardless of if it s rooted in reality or not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, people not fully knowing you can very quickly turn sour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be bad when the illusion of mystery wears off and the mysterious person becomes a bit more vulnerable, a bit more themselves, and they may not live up to the expectation or the illusion that people had about them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, expectations and illusions about others are usually not accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re almost never accurate, actually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t name one time I ve ever expected somebody to be a certain way, and then they ve been that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times people can still be great, but they re not what you thought." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, it can be disappointing even if the person that you were making up illusions about is still great in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just might not be what you imagined and that can be disappointing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas if you would have seen who the person really was from the beginning, you would have been like, oh," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like this person for what they re showing me right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you wouldn t have had the space to make up an idea of who they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so maybe it would be easier to accept them for who they really are from the beginning, from the get-go, because there s no jarring shift in identity." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people protect themselves from vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This can be good because mysterious people can protect the soft sides of themselves and only share those sides of themselves with people who really have earned it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas somebody who s more open and honest and whatever, they re just sharing it with everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not protecting it for themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A mysterious person s default is to hold that all inside, protect that all inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they have to make a conscious effort to share a vulnerable side of themselves with people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And naturally, they re just going to be more selective with who they share that side of themselves with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think in some ways that s a superpower, you know, naturally being inclined to be more selective about who you re vulnerable with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see value in that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of envy that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think being a mysterious person attracts more surface level conversations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, somebody who s super open and honest and vulnerable are probably gonna have more open and honest and vulnerable conversations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody who s more mysterious is not gonna invite those type of conversations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re someone who doesn t like to be vulnerable, then your mysteriousness can sort of act as a shield to prevent those conversations from happening." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ll tell you," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people can really intimidate me and I m not inspired to be vulnerable around them because I almost don t feel safe to because I m like, this person is so protective of themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re so mysterious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not showing me any softness at all." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t feel automatically safe to just be myself in that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people are very protected from vulnerability in most scenarios." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they have to make the conscious effort to go and be vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that can be good as long as there s still some vulnerability happening in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that it can get bad when you re not making any deep connections with others because you re so mysterious and you re so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "locked up that you never have a conversation with others that goes below surface level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you become so comfortable in your little protective bubble that you re kind of alone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not necessarily good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may also find that long-term you have less friendships and relationships, possibly, because the way that you take friendships and relationships to the next level is by getting progressively more vulnerable and showing more and more sides of yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re mysterious," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you might never take it to the next level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of people might not feel connected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then they might be like, I don t know if I want to be in this relationship anymore because this, this person s so mysterious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t even connect with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that this can also be challenging for people who are trying to be more mysterious, but they re not naturally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because there are a lot of people who are just naturally inclined to be super vulnerable, myself included." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s painful for me to suppress that side of myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s uncomfortable for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me feel like I m not being myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m being myself when I m being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times when I ve tried to be more mysterious for like 24 hours here, 24 hours there, I felt really fake almost, like this is not me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, mysterious people also rarely speak about themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this can be positive because it can leave other people more room to share their stories, their perspectives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives the mysterious person more of an opportunity to learn about other people, which can be interesting and exciting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it also gives the mysterious person more time to think about what they want to say about themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if they center the conversation around the other person, they have more time to think in between about what they do want to share about themselves so they can be more intentional." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think the problem with this is that nobody will really feel like they know you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And short term, that might be intriguing and fun and exciting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But long term, I think that can be really frustrating and even unsettling at times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have mysterious people in our lives where we re like, who the fuck are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, who the fuck are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, who are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is going on inside of that brain?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, those people that just give you one word answers like about everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, how was your day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How was your day?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s always about, it s never about them ever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, wait, but what s like, who are you?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I ve had friends for years that refused to open up to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got to a point where I was like, Oh my God, years have gone by and I still don t know you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s such an unsettling feeling for me that I can t do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I can t be friends with somebody who," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never gives me any information about themselves because it s like what are we doing here if one person super mysterious in the relationship in the other person is maybe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe even mysterious but is opening up a little bit more and more over time to sort of develop the relationship further." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it can feel almost unfair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m opening myself up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m putting myself in a vulnerable position, which is already uncomfortable, but is 10 times more uncomfortable because we re dealing with a mysterious person who does not invite in this type of conversation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when it s not reciprocated, it can be really, really weird and unsettling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can almost be like offensive sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels unfair." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m trying to develop this relationship further and this mysterious person is giving me nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think my point here is that mysterious people can take not talking about themselves too far to a point where everyone feels like they don t know them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like they re a complete stranger to everyone around them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not to say that people who are mysterious can t figure out a balance, but I think that that can become a challenge really, really quick." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, mysterious people hide their emotions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this can be a good thing because it definitely avoids conflict." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when you show emotion in your face, when you raise your voice during an argument, it can cause a much larger argument." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that this is sort of a superpower for mysterious people, the ability to just keep it all inside and handle it calmly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that I ve really worked on" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "over the last few years of my life, really getting good at staying cool, calm, and collected during an argument or during a conflict or during a moment of upset, because that s just a skill that I want to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I can be a fully mysterious person, but in that specific area, there s a lot of value there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s something that I ve personally adopted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "separate from being mysterious, just on its own." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do think it makes conflict less irrational and it makes resolution more possible when you re super cool, calm, and collected during conflict and during upset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to suppress your emotions completely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just want to display them in a way that s calm, rational, and collected." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think mysterious people can take it too far and just completely lock everything up and never bring things up and just let everything fester inside." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does have to come out at some point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the superpower for the mysterious person" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is like in the beginning of the conflict, when the irrational, super intense feelings come up, they re able to suppress those and keep them under wraps." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when it gets bad is if they don t ever go and confront the situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, though I see the cons of being mysterious, I m still a little bit intrigued." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, is this something I should adopt a little?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went on wikihow.com, which always gives the best advice, and I looked up how to be mysterious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me share with you what I found." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think seeing a step-by-step guide on how to be mysterious will help me decide if this is something that I can actually do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe I can take little bits and pieces from this, apply it to my life, while still being the open, vulnerable person that I naturally am." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How to be mysterious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, speak minimally about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "However, mysterious people aren t open books." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to minimize the amount of things that you disclose about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I do like the idea of focusing on asking other people more questions, and I actively try to do that in my day-to-day life, even to people who don t seem to want to talk about themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know if I m fully convinced that it s healthy to make a conscious effort to answer vaguely about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If somebody really wants to know things about you," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it really such a crime to like dig into it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it healthy to suppress the desire to sort of indulge in a little bit of conversation about yourself?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I understand we re reading a guide on how to be mysterious, so it s quite literally telling you to just shut up about yourself, which makes sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like when it comes to applying this advice to my own life, I don t know if that s something that I want to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it s being a good conversationalist to just answer questions with a few vague words." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How boring is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what a relief it is to be in a conversation with somebody and you ask them a question and then they just go off and start talking about themselves in a way that s interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a relief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh my God, I get a break from talking about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re talking about them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t have to be on for a second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can just sort of sit back and enjoy this person s story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s nice to also reciprocate that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And is it worth it to suppress that desire to share things about oneself just to be mysterious when that s not something that comes naturally?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, think before you speak." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This goes hand in hand with speaking minimally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will give you an air of mystery." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that thinking before you speak is an underrated piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in elementary school, the teachers were always like, think before you speak." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think we ever outgrow that piece of advice because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had to make a conscious effort in recent years to think before I speak in attempt to not overshare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it happened naturally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t make this conscious decision to start thinking more before I spoke, but it happened naturally because I was so prone to oversharing and then regretting it after that I naturally was like, I just need to start thinking more before I say shit because I just let shit flow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do think that that s a really good piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s something that I think we all could benefit from." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something that I m actively working on, something that I want to continue to implement, but I don t know about only verbalizing things when you need to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because you very rarely need to say anything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, I feel like this is inspiring a much less dynamic conversation, which I m not obsessed with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, in practice, I don t know if this makes sense for me because maybe I d rephrase this to fit my own life and say, only say things when they mean something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, not just saying shit to say shit, but only saying things when they mean something, when they re going to have a positive impact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three, listen more to others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it ll also make you a better conversationalist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s a great piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no problem with that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I was younger, I definitely used to be more of the center of attention or I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always just the loudest in the room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as I ve gotten older, I ve very naturally done that less." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will say it s made socializing less exhausting for one, but for two," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More balanced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think listening to others more is never a bad thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number four, self-edit your social media posts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure if I overshare online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually don t think I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, some people might argue that I overshare if I m telling like a super embarrassing story about like me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "shitting my pants or something or like, I don t know, me telling like an embarrassing story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I overshare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m very vulnerable online, but I ve pulled back a level of vulnerability online over time because I ve just felt this natural desire to sort of protect myself a little bit as I am a young woman and going through turbulent young womanhood, you know, it s just like a challenging experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so there s been certain things that I ve needed to protect more of and," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if that s really worked out for me, actually." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I needed to do that for my own well-being, but I think in general, I enjoy really telling all on the internet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually enjoy it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I also know my limits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all follow somebody on Instagram who s so mysterious, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like every picture is like super hot and cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, you look at this person s profile and you re like, they just wake up in the morning, levitate out of bed, eat like rocks for breakfast, and then like levitate into their chair at work where they just like zzzzzz." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and get work done for like 30 minutes done for the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they go and they get like a matcha from a coffee shop and then they like, and they just are levitating everywhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s some people that you see on Instagram and you re like, this is not a human being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is somebody who needs to be plugged into an outlet to be charged." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like this is not a real human being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a robot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately, this is a robot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve even had phases where I ve sort of enjoyed having that presence on social media more like, ooh, maybe I want to be more mysterious on social media." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not only do I feel like people don t like it as much, like I don t think, I don t actually think that people like enjoy that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least from me, I don t think people like that from me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, it s just such a shame to hide your personality to try to be mysterious and cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I just said, I ve experimented with being mysterious on social media for various reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, to protect myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, just because it kind of seemed intriguing, like, oh, I m going to have a cool vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think it is good to be mysterious online to an extent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think being mysterious to a point where you re completely hiding your personality is not good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something I m working on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a balance that I m personally working on finding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I went from being so open" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "online when I was younger to now experimenting with how mysterious I want to be online." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, it s definitely been an interesting journey to see how it makes me feel and how people react to it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number five, display confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are, although others may not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m really conflicted on this because I feel like forcing confidence can sometimes backfire and come off as cockiness or can come off as fake confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be very tangible like, oh, this person is not really confident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s off here and I can feel it, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think that we should all try to walk around with as much confidence as possible because we deserve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we all deserve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem is I feel like we never have ourselves fully figured out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like a huge ask of humanity." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so faking it is just lying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if I like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think that you can walk around with confidence and comfortability with yourself while being open and honest about the fact that you re flawed just like everyone else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this piece of advice is saying, be cool and comfortable and make everyone think that you have yourself all figured out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, I don t know if I like that because no one has their shit all figured out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do think that there s a lot of value in practicing a cool and comfortable demeanor Again, that s something I ve been working on over the last few years and it s just made my life easier And I think when I started trying to carry myself in that way, it was sort of forced It was sort of fake right because it was like I don t feel cool and comfortable but I m gonna pretend I m cool and comfortable and eventually it sort of became real and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think my cool and comfortable nature was not standing alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was also partnered with a level of humility, I would hope, and self-deprecation a little bit too, to balance it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I m currently trying to get rid of the self-deprecation and just be genuinely cool and comfortable with myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know, like I think that there s a risk of seeming sort of cocky or arrogant" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And also it s so human and charming to not be cool and comfortable all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m conflicted on it, but I do think that like being confident is a great thing to strive for overall." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think that it sort of needs to come from a genuine place in an honest place or else it just doesn t feel right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s my only concern with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think that being confident, like that s a good thing to work on for everyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether you re mysterious or you re vulnerable and open, I don t know, I think everybody could benefit from that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, do unpredictable things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do things from time to time that others wouldn t expect you to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This will make people doubt their perception of who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you re really like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t know if I like this because this feels like we re gamifying our personalities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re trying to play with other people s perceptions of who we are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if premeditating actions to make people think a certain thing is healthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being like, oh, I m going to do something super random and out of character right now in 30 seconds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to make this certain person confused about who I really am and curious about who I really am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That just feels like a game." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just don t know if I think that s healthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t like to live like that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I want to be far more intuitive than that and far more honest with who I am, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it seems like so far that being mysterious is like a full-time job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I have to fucking change everything about myself and, like, make these strategic choices." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not living a good life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s..." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not healthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, conceal your emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mysterious people are hard to read." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re really expressive, others will know what you re feeling without you having to say a word." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren t sure what you re thinking and feeling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We already sort of discussed this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to dig into it anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, yeah, that can be a really powerful tool in anyone s toolbox in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life toolbox." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but also you don t want to take it too far." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You still want to be able to resolve conflict in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t keep it all inside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, be less present and available." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Spend most of your free time alone and or with people that know the real you so that you can appear distant to others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is possibly the most toxic piece of advice I ve ever heard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is really unhealthy to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a mysterious person by nature and you just naturally do this, great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s one thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re somebody more like me who s naturally extroverted at times, I m not always extroverted, I would say I m 50-50." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "50% extroverted, 50% introverted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you have an extroverted side to yourself, do you know what, maybe it s 60% extroverted, 40% introverted, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it changes all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends, it changes depending on what I need in my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway, if you enjoy being around people and you wanna get closer to people, like being completely private and unknown," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of lonely and sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless you re doing it because you genuinely are craving that in your life, I don t think that that s something that you should force yourself to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really see a benefit there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had periods in my life where I ve been far more introverted and I ve wanted to isolate myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve wanted to spend time alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I probably was more mysterious during that time without even trying to be because I was craving a phase of self-discovery." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to figure myself out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to establish a level of independence, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a genuine desire that I had." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But right now, for example, I m loving being social." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "been more social and I m really loving it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s bringing a lot of joy in my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, I do want to be mysterious too, cause that seems also kind of fun, but like to isolate myself against my own will, just to be mysterious, like that s not good and not worth it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to be mysterious to the extent that like I m going to isolate myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just sad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, only let a few trusted people know the real you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Carefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody needs at least a couple of people to be close to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When outsiders" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish that they could be one of the special people you confide in. " }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, this piece of advice sounded so good in the beginning." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like, everyone needs somebody to open up to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find those people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, absolutely agree." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think any of us would argue with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then when it starts to say," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish that they could be one of the special people you can fight it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, that feels manipulative and game-like to be like, I m only going to open up to a select few people so that everybody else wishes that they could be a part of this club and know more about me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, that feels really kind of manipulative to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If opening up to only a select few people is desirable to you because you re like, I just want to be safe with my heart and I want to protect myself and only talk to people that I trust about these serious matters, that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re doing that for you, that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, nobody can argue with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re doing it as a way to make other people" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "want to like be in your life more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just feels weird." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, focus on your hobbies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I feel like you should do what you want to do with your free time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if you want to socialize, go socialize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to do your hobbies, go do your hobbies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like don t force yourself to do hobbies and use up all your time doing hobbies just to seem mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, okay, I m realizing now you can t force this shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trying to change who you are is not the right approach." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m not mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will never be mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I wanted to be mysterious, I d have to change the entire framework of my being and force myself to behave in ways that are not organic to me, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry, I m not gonna do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m crushing my own dream right now of being mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not gonna happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am who I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m vulnerable, I m open, I m putting it all out on the table at all times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody gets to know Emma, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just who I am." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of trying to change it, at this point, I m just gonna accept it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to accept it with all of the flaws that come with it too, including me oversharing sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And hey, there are some people out there who are naturally mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s great too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lean into that and figure out the shortcomings that come with that personality trait and work on those." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But don t try to change your entire framework to be somebody that you just aren t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I am not me when I m trying to be mysterious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m fucking done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m never gonna try to be mysterious again, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m actually excited about this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m only going to get less mysterious moving forward." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, this might be less hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, let s say I meet new friends and they re like, oh, she s like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "too open of a book." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s not hot and cool and mysterious." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t care, don t care." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just gonna be completely who I am." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if people like it, great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if they don t, fuck it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not mysterious and that s okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come hang out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you stream podcasts or watch video exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow anything goes on Instagram at anything goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check us out online or in store." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can go on our store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just appreciate and love you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m glad that we got to hang out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Seriously." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In like a few days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A few Fridays ago, my friends and I go out to dinner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pretty routine activity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love going out to dinner on Fridays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the perfect start to the weekend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wake up in the morning on a Friday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "TGIF, thank God it s Friday." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, listen, I love Fridays." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the weekend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been really making my weekends count for the last few months." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s been particularly exciting when the weekend comes around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So listen, it was Friday, my friends and I go out to dinner, and this restaurant has phenomenal wine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m sort of getting into wine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know shit about it at all, but I m getting into drinking it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, I was just drinking like tequila soda, vodka soda, but not anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m kind of a wine girl now, I m getting into wine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anywho, on this particular night at this particular restaurant, the waiter just kept giving us more wine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d pound a glass, I d put it down on the table, I d look over and it s refilled." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, what an act of generosity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t even have to ask for another glass of wine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This dude is on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He s on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He is refilling me like there s no tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at first I was like, this is great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Three glasses in, I was like, this actually might be a problem, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This actually might become a problem very soon." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I could have told him, all right, that s enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But something inside me didn t want to say that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted him to keep going." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a devil and an angel on my shoulder, and the devil won." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The devil told me not to speak up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next thing I know, I m so drunk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not drunk to a point where I m like throwing up on the street." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all been there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m pretty drunk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m loose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really loose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sort of tried to calculate how much wine I had." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably three quarters of a bottle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a lot for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My friends and I went to a bar afterwards and we saw some of our friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now these are not friends that we re super close with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are kids who we hang out with sometimes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like definitely friends with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re on a texting basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We text each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We only ever hang out on the weekends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know a decent amount about each other, but not a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of at that level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we re not super close." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I start talking to one of our friends, and we re having a conversation, and I m just oversharing left and right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that I wasn t letting this person talk about themselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that I wasn t asking them questions about themselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But every time it was my turn to talk, I swear to God, I was just exploding, telling this person way too much about my personal life, probably." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not actually sure if I was taking it too far, but it s hard to remember because I was really drunk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The next morning I wake up and I m a wreck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a wreck because I completely overshared." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not a new experience." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not alone here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all probably done this, but it was particularly uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason for that is because I hadn t been drunk in a while and I hadn t experienced that sort of next day anxiety about oversharing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so feeling it again for the first time in a while, wow, it was vivid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was vivid and it was dark." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My whole day was very dark." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so stressed out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, oh my God, did I make this person?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feel weird because I was telling them too much about me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or are we friends enough where that was okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that it wouldn t have been okay, but it just would have been in bad taste, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s getting hurt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But are we friends enough where sharing these intimate details about my life are appropriate or warranted?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did they think it was weird?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do they now think I m weird because of it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a whole meltdown that one has." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I sort of had an epiphany." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not sure why this epiphany came now because I ve been oversharing arguably my whole life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been somebody who felt comfortable and good being incredibly vulnerable in real life and online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I know why I m that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, it inspires a more interesting conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m vulnerable with people, people feel more comfortable being vulnerable with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for whatever reason, I m not afraid of being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m always the one to start it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not always, I guess, but most of the time, I m the one to start it because I m so quick to just take it there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, I start out small, and then I feel it out with the other person, and then I ll build it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s how I foster a conversation that is exciting to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do enjoy small talk to an extent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think small talk is completely useless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I participate in small talk just as much as the next person, but I do prefer a deeper conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that is more mentally stimulating for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people don t like a deep conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s fine, too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I try to pick up on when somebody s not down to be vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then I just either let my vulnerability be one sided, or I pull it back all together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But overall, I think it inspires a more interesting conversation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that s one reason why I do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think I do it because it feels good to overshare and be incredibly vulnerable with others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell them about all of my shortcomings, all of my challenges, all of my struggles, not all of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "plug those in when it feels necessary so that somebody gets a full, well-rounded picture of who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason why that makes me feel safe and comfortable and good is because I m no longer worrying about people finding out something about me later that they don t like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m able to trust that the person I m talking to likes me for exactly who I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t like me because they think that I m hot and cool and mysterious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They like me because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they just like me, even with my flaws, even with my shortcomings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of a defense mechanism." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like if I tell people about all sides of me, there s no chance that they ll find out about something later that they don t like, and then they ll abandon me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s definitely a fear of abandonment involved in my desire to overshare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think it just comes naturally to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have grown up in a household where I ve been one-on-one with both of my parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My parents are divorced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I grew up spending time with them separately and very much one-on-one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have siblings either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a very open, honest relationship with both of my parents, and I always felt comfortable telling them everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure that this is true across the board, but in my experience, when your parents get divorced, they are so vulnerable that they show you, their child, a side of themselves that you would not have seen otherwise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see your parent as a human, a real human, flaws and all, in a really vivid way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My parents got divorced when I was five." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw their humanity very young, and it put us on more of an even playing field." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the power dynamic changed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to say, because I was only five, but I really do believe that the power dynamic changed, and we became more like equals sooner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so because of that, I just would tell my parents whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, mom, just had sex for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "whoop, it was so weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa, or like, hey, dad just got super drunk at a party last night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they didn t always love the things that I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times they had a lot of constructive criticism on how I should live my life, but they would never get mad at me or scold me or make me feel bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that ability to overshare with my parents has just made me comfortable with saying whatever to whoever, you know, telling embarrassing stories," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "talking about my challenges, like whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no reservations because I grew up in a household where that was not met with explosive anger or explosive judgment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my oversharing comes with good intentions, which makes me wonder if I m oversharing at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might just be a really deeply vulnerable person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not quite sure, but I know for sure that when I m drunk," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can overshare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m sober, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not 100% sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m drunk, yes, I can overshare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always, but a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because my intentions with my oversharing or extreme vulnerability have always been good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never really questioned why I am that way and whether or not it s a good thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanted to look into it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so that s what I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started out by looking up what it means to overshare because I have my own definition in my head, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s being extremely vulnerable with almost anyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was sort of my definition." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I Googled it, I found something a little bit different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to scienceofpeople.com, oversharing is when you say more than is appropriate in a given situation or to a specific person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This means that oversharing typically has less to do with what you say and more about when, why, and whom you say it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I m pretty tactful about when I am really vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like my sense of knowing when to go there is good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I could be completely delusional, which is very frightening, but I don t think I am." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I fully could be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to know because the body language of others is not ignored by me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m hyper-focused on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if I feel like somebody is not meeting me on my level of vulnerability, I will pull back or allow it to just be one-sided." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not that I don t let other people talk about themselves either." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "overwhelming somebody with my stories or my experiences, unless I feel like they want that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they re asking me a bunch of questions," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and they seem to want to know more, I m down to tell them my stories." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times people seem interested." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I m just a chronic oversharer, completely lacking social cues and not seeing that people are not into it, or if I m just really, really tapped into my vulnerable side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not oversharing because people are actually interested and want to hear about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This further solidified my belief that I might not be a chronic oversharer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might just be a really vulnerable person who then overshares when drunk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still not 100% sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I wanted to look into why people overshare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What happens in the brain that makes us want to overshare?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in order to figure out what the hell I m doing, I wanted to see what causes it and see if any of them resonated with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what I found, also from scienceofpeople.com." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People overshare to fast track a relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A common reason for oversharing is the desire to build depth and emotional intimacy before the relationship is ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This can often be connected to a stress or fear of not being liked by the person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing that is confusing me, though, is that I don t know if I do it too soon." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the point is, like, oversharing is the desire to build depth and emotional intimacy before the relationship is ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I tend to take it slow and build it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I start with oversharing in ways that are lighter and funnier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I may be telling an embarrassing story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or telling an interesting story about myself that s kind of vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then over time, maybe I ll build it up to more vulnerable stories." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s sort of up for debate when a relationship is ready to become a bit more vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all based on feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that my sense is pretty good, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not in other people s" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "brains, I don t know how they re feeling about my level of vulnerability." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s really going to cause me to have an existential identity crisis later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Existential and identity crisis later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another reason why people overshare is because they feel a false sense of closeness" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When someone is in your personal space, whether they re styling your hair or painting your nails, it can be easy to feel it is acceptable to share a lot with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely go in with my nail tech and my hair stylist and my makeup artists." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They know everything about me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it s oversharing because, yeah, I m telling them all about my personal life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of times they come back to me with stories about their own personal lives that are equally as vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it s reciprocated, is it oversharing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People also overshare as a way to test how people will respond to something challenging or painful one has experienced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely do this all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll say something just to see what response I get, and I don t even mean to do it, but I ll give an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say I was in a relationship and I told my boyfriend a story about my ex-boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, well, one time my ex-boyfriend said that I was really ugly in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might say that to test and see how my new current boyfriend responds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If he s like, ha ha ha, oh really?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s weird." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That would tell me like, oh fuck, my new boyfriend agrees." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If he was like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so rude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You look gorgeous in the morning, babe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so hot in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You look so good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, even though your eyes are so puffy that they re like swollen shut in like your hair, you have like a bald spot on the back of your head because you sleep so soundly that your hair gets all pushed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you have a bald spot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so hot in the morning, babe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d be like, oh my God, it s not true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do look hot in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s exactly what I wanted to hear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes we can fish to hear what we want to hear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times we overshare during that process." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely do that sometimes, although I actively try not to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I catch myself about to do it, I will try to stop because it s just not productive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do resonate with that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, people overshare to avoid awkward silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people hate awkward silence so much they will do anything to avoid it, even oversharing, considering that awkward silence triggers the fight or flight part of our brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to be so bad about this, oh my god, I couldn t handle a period of silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, even now I have moments where I struggle with silence," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I was younger, it was so bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would overshare immediately to get rid of the silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I m getting better at it now, but there was a really long period of my life when, wow, that was huge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I always felt like it was my responsibility to prevent awkward silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll be honest, I haven t had many moments in my life where there has been an awkward silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I don t let one happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will always fill it with something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, it was oversharing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say now I m getting better at filling those gaps with asking other people questions instead of just exploding with useless information about myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m learning to turn it on the other person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be tough when you re having a conversation with somebody who clearly wants you to be the one to talk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They maybe don t want to talk about themselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have the opposite issue that I do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not an oversharer." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re mysterious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, that can get tough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, I definitely have used oversharing to avoid awkward silence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People also overshare if they have social anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those who struggle with social anxiety are typically more prone to oversharing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you feel anxious around other people, it can easily lead to rambling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You may also start oversharing because of low self-confidence or the need to please people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I resonate with all of this as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say I m pretty outgoing overall, but I m still definitely socially anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, not around everyone, but there are certain people, certain types of people that make me very socially anxious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People who I think are really cool or people who I think are hot, like a hot guy or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people who have sort of a judgmental attitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People like that make me very socially anxious and I tend to ramble a lot around those people because I m just, I don t know, I can t think clearly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t slow my brain down." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like running on adrenaline and so I ll tend to be a bit more prone to oversharing in those scenarios." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, I resonate with that as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, not being able to read social cues." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People may overshare if they can t read the audience to see that they re uncomfortable with your oversharing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people just don t have a good sense of boundaries." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, this is where I m held up because I really do think that I m in tune with other people and I push it to a place where every" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "everybody s comfortable and everybody s enjoying the conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do think that majority of the time that s the case." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m drunk, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where everything I know about myself goes out the window." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, I think I m pretty good about" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "keeping it in a place where everybody feels completely comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m having one of those crises where I m like, would I even know if my sense was bad?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I would, but I could be completely delusional." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody could be behind my back right now being like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma literally has no social cues and will over share like there s no tomorrow and clearly everybody is uncomfortable by it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could fully be happening too and it s freaking me out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to do sort of a study with everyone I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to like call everyone I know and have them be brutally honest with me because this is the one piece of this that is throwing me for a loop." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, being raised by oversharers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If oversharing was the norm in your childhood household, then you re probably gonna overshare in the real world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I mentioned earlier, I definitely had that in my childhood home." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But was it oversharing or was it vulnerability?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After reading through the reasons why humans overshare, I found that I resonated with a lot of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also was like, what does that say about me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it seems like the line between oversharing and being vulnerable is very blurred." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I wanted to dig into what s the difference between oversharing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and being healthily vulnerable with others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because those two things are very different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One is arguably a negative trait and one is arguably a positive trait." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yet the line between them is so blurred, it s messy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So thanks to scienceofpeople.com and Huffington Post, I found online the key difference between oversharing and being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s what I found." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oversharing refers to the act of sharing too much personal information, often in an inappropriate or reckless manner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other hand, vulnerability refers to the willingness to be open and honest about one s feelings, thoughts, and experiences, even when doing so may be difficult or uncomfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both involve the sharing of personal information, but the key difference lies in the intention and context in which that information is shared." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oversharing may be motivated by a desire for attention or validation and may not consider the impact on oneself or others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vulnerability, on the other hand, involves a willingness to be open and honest about one s experiences in a way that fosters deeper connection and understanding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the difference is oversharing is about personal gain in some way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, if I overshare about my life, I m going to get validation somehow." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to get a feeling of release." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Getting to talk about this will allow me to release this burden." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oversharing will make this person feel like they re closer to me, which will give me a level of power over them in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oversharing allows me to test a theory I have based on how this other person responds." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oversharing is enjoyable for me, and I like talking about myself too much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems like it s rooted in more selfish desires, whereas being vulnerable is more about making other people feel comfortable and allowing for deeper and more interesting conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you might be thinking right now, Emma, you ve gone back and forth about yourself a whole lot so far today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you d be right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve bounced back and forth between believing that I m a deeply vulnerable person and I m a chronic oversharer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the conclusion I ve come to is that I m a little bit of both, but I m definitely not mysterious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll tell you what." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can be really vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can occasionally be an overshare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m almost never mysterious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We know that for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Through investigating the concept of oversharing," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I figured out that I actually used to be a really severe, severe oversharer in a way that was unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it was rooted in social anxiety, wanting to test people s responses, avoiding awkward silence, and weirdly feeling relief when I would do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, oversharing for me used to allow me to selfishly get something off my chest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I definitely used to do that a lot more." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think without even realizing it through the years, I ve been able to restrain myself and turn my oversharing into just being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still overshare occasionally when I m drunk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my self-diagnosis is that at this point in my life, I m just really vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t actually think that that s a bad thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I went into this mini self-discovery thinking that I had a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, I was like, I think I have an oversharing problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m coming out the other side realizing, no, I used to have a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But without even realizing it, I actually turned it into something positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s a win for Emma today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s a win for Emma today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m growing up, but I think it s important to know the difference between oversharing and being vulnerable, especially if you re somebody who s hyper aware of themselves, constantly analyzing themselves, because we don t want to stop being vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because for people who are naturally vulnerable, that s somewhat of a superpower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes other people feel comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It inspires great conversations." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes other people feel less alone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many benefits to being a deeply vulnerable person, but it s dangerous because it s so similar to oversharing that it s important to be clear on what the difference is so that you can be the best person that you can be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for those of you out there who are chronic oversharers, like how I used to be and continue to be when drunk," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost am talking about my drunk self as like a different version of myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I shouldn t because that s still very much me, but it does feel like a different side of myself because she comes out rarely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re a chronic oversharer, this is not bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This just means that you have the ability to be incredibly vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is an exciting opportunity to say, let me take this negative trait, oversharing, and turn it into a positive trait, being really vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just through a few little shifts," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I looked up how to stop oversharing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if there are some of you out there who are having a problem with it, I Googled it for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thanks again to scienceofpeople.com because you gave me a lot of information on this today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How to stop oversharing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, ask questions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Leave room for others to talk about themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t give yourself the opportunity to overshare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re talking to somebody who s a bit more reserved, maybe asks you a lot of questions, fight back, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t take this as an opportunity to overshare just because there s a lot of dead space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to make it your goal to get that other person to talk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next tip is so obvious, it s almost painful, but still it s sometimes helpful to be reminded." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Practice mindfulness while speaking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Really think before you say things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For my whole life up until more recently, I have just blurted out words without thinking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Never would I think before I spoke." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would just go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now when I m in conversation, I m much more thoughtful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like before I say anything, I just briefly think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t tell you how often I stop myself from saying too much or saying something I might regret saying later because it s too much information about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All the time, I stop myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, figure out why you re oversharing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See what triggers you to want to overshare and come up with a solution for that moving forward." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An example would be you tend to overshare when there is awkward silence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, maybe you figure out a question that you can ask anytime you hit a moment of awkward silence in a conversation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe that would be, wait, where did you grow up?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe that could be, so what d you do today?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or maybe that could be, so how s school going?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like it could be whatever, it could be whatever, but have like a list of five questions that you can just pop into a conversation anytime things get weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that instead of you feeling like, okay, I m just going to overshare now, you have a tool like, oh, I m going to just ask one of my five questions that I always have in my archive, in my brain, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, shift the combo when discussing something that you tend to overshare about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a few things I tend to overshare about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, my love life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Terrible about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t stop talking about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tell everyone everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it is though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It kind of is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "love to overshare about gross, embarrassing stories about myself like, oh, that one time I shit the bed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that one time I threw up on Hollywood Boulevard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that one time I threw up through my nose at a workout class." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oatmeal came out of my nose at that workout class." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, that one time I popped out a tonsil stone with my finger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not everyone needs to hear about those stories all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re fun and sometimes entertaining and funny too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, not everyone needs to know about that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or me bringing up the fact that my parents are divorced." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have many different triggers where I have a lot of stories to tell and I have a lot of things to share." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it makes sense to dive into those things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s good to be vulnerable about these things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s not always the right time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Determine whether the answer is yes or no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if the answer is no, then shift the combo as quickly as you can, just so that you don t even get tempted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that you decide, no, I shouldn t do this, immediately change the subject or ask them a question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, it s so important to nurture the side of yourself that wants to be vulnerable because genuine vulnerability helps us build meaningful bonds with others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shows every side of our personality to people so that they have a well-rounded idea of who we are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It allows people to get to know us better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes other people feel less alone through shared experiences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so, so, so important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for those of us who are so prone to being vulnerable, we re also very prone to oversharing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So being aware can change your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for a lot of us who are chronic oversharers, we ll just naturally grow out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really what happened to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I realized that I just sort of naturally grew out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the positive shift sort of happened on its own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I gradually went from being an oversharer to being more of just a vulnerable person in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even have to really try, but I think I had enough instances where I felt shame and anxiety after oversharing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got to a point where I was like, okay, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do this anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be a bit more mindful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was pretty much the only thing I implemented in retrospect, was just a little bit more mindfulness, just thinking a little bit more before I speak." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and not letting myself go completely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not completely perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I still occasionally overshare, especially when I m drunk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that still needs a bit of work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now that I m so vividly aware of the difference between being vulnerable and oversharing, I think it s going to become easier for me to navigate down the line." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I m glad I went down this little rabbit hole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t that deep of a rabbit hole, but it was deep enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re an oversharer, I hope that you gained something from this." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re deeply vulnerable, I hope that you were reminded how much of a superpower that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re somebody who s more mysterious, I hope that this allowed you to understand the people in your life who overshare and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just hope that you know that you re awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so grateful that you decided to hang out with me today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you enjoyed it, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you stream podcasts, but video is exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go to Spotify to watch the video episode of this podcast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check me out on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right now I m drinking an iced latte that I made homemade, and I m using our new caramel blend." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fucking good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check out Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in stores and we re online, so go check out the store locator if you want to find us in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love and appreciate you all, and I m always so grateful to spend time with you, and I hope that you feel the same." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you don t, that s okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you all soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is 11.30 p.m." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "as I m recording this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let me tell you, it is past my bedtime, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have been going to bed at promptly 9.30 p.m." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "every night this week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And wow, has it been amazing and refreshing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But not tonight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, not tonight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because tonight I m feeling a little bit chatty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I m feeling a little bit chatty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in the mood to talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in the mood to hang out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m in the mood for a sleepover vibe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Except not really, because I ve never really liked sleepovers very much." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The older I get, the more I warm up to sleepovers, but I used to be the kid that had to get picked up once all the other kids went to bed at a sleepover because I was like, well, I can t handle this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Psychologically, I can t handle this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not exactly sure why, but I can t handle this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I used to freak out at sleepovers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was my worst nightmare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a very anxious child." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even now, I don t love a sleepover." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why I don t like them now is less because I m anxious and scared of being in a new place, and it s more" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the awkwardness around what time we go to bed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like who stops talking first?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if it s a sleepover where everyone s sleeping in the same room, it s like, okay, when do we stop talking and just go to bed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times the talking goes on so late because nobody wants to be the one to be like, okay, we need to go to bed now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause it s not fun to be that person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody wants to be that person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anyway, I don t like sleepovers, but I m in a sleepover mood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re up past my bedtime." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So listen, I feel like I owe you an update on my nicotine quitting journey because I ve made two episodes now about my journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as far as you know, things are going great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not going phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they re going great." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last time you heard, I had gotten through the first few weeks of painful withdrawal, filled with anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, too much sleeping, one or the other, intense cravings, mood swings, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had switched over from using a vape" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to using nicotine pouches that had a lower amount of nicotine in them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was slowly but surely tapering off the nicotine using these nicotine pouches that I put in my mouth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I have a really disappointing update for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s not going well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a vape in my pocket right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going that bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not proud to tell you this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel deeply ashamed and I m not sure if I necessarily should." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I don t know if it s healthy to feel ashamed because I guess I m doing my best to quit and inspire others to quit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I m not leading by example very well right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not leading by example at all because I m fully vaping again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m back and I m not proud of it and I m planning on quitting again, but I want to sort of tell you what happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was doing so well and then boom, I m back and I m vaping again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to tell you how this happens so that we can both learn from it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it all started," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I went through a little breakup, just a little breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, not good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, that hurt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, whether you ve been through a breakup or not, you know that that shit sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just sucks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "even if it s the right thing to do, even if it was super civil and everyone s still cool with each other and it s the best case scenario, doesn t matter, doesn t matter, still wreaks havoc on your brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will say that I have been handling this situation way better than I anticipated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would I say I m like, I m slaying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, yeah, I m doing pretty well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For someone going through a breakup, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, yeah, I m doing well for somebody going through a breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not doing well compared to, like, the average person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going through a breakup is terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it hurts a little differently for everyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, personally, it sort of rocked my foundation a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a very small circle of people in my life, and every single person in my little world are very significant to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And losing one of those people" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is catastrophic for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a catastrophe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we can get through anything, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it feels catastrophic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also think I have a hard time trusting people a little more just because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my industry, a lot of people are trying to use you for things and it s hard to find somebody who just genuinely loves you and appreciates you for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I find that I have a particularly challenging time finding people who I can really trust." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because people see that you have a certain amount of Instagram followers and suddenly they think of you differently." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be held to the same standard as everyone else because I know that Instagram followers or whatever, it doesn t matter, but not everyone feels this way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, I tend to have a hard time finding people that I trust and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a catastrophe for me when one of those people disappears out of my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So even though I handled the breakup very well, I still was a little bit of a mess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But whenever I m going through a challenging time, my dad always tells me to make a plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a plan." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are you gonna do to get through this and be stronger on the other side?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of the things that I really wanted to do was continue to be more social and continue to make more friends in a more intentional way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because for a few years there, I was very focused on being in a relationship and working on my career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was great and that made sense for the time, but it was definitely very isolating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have no regrets because it was a crucial time for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it left me with, as I mentioned earlier, a very small circle of people in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one of my priorities was like, hey, let s broaden this circle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s open this circle up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s bring more people in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s have more people around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been really utilizing my weekends, okay, Friday, Saturday, to go and be social like a normal fucking 22-year-old, something I haven t really done very much yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve been going out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to bars." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to little parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m doing the thing, but I know, you know, my limits." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not going too crazy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m being responsible in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I drink very moderately, a glass of wine at dinner, maybe a tequila soda out at the bar, call it a night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes no drink at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m driving that night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then every once in a while, maybe I ll have majority of a bottle of wine at dinner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s happened once or twice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But overall, I d say I m pretty good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t do any drugs, not for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Though by some miracle, I m staying up so late." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have been staying out until like five in the morning some nights." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And whenever I tell people this, they re like, okay, so you re on drugs." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know how I m able to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m able to push all night." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s like excitement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like this weird, innocent excitement that I have to be out, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s still kind of new for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I moved to LA when I was 17, I didn t go to college." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m not going to frat parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to all these college parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the kids that I hung out with when I moved here didn t really like to party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And whenever I would get invited to a party, I don t know, I just wouldn t really participate." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t really feel like I fit in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like I wasn t supposed to be there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I wasn t, I was very young, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never really been someone" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who consistently like went and hung out at bars or went to parties." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s good for me in most ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s good for me socially." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been meeting new friends, meeting new people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been really fun and exhilarating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A little bit spooky, but overall exhilarating and fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s weirdly made me more focused and less burnt out in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s made me" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "happier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like being around people in this phase of my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel more extroverted in this phase of my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s benefiting me there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so here s where it s not benefiting me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone vapes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the times that we live in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many people vaping all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this combination of me going through a breakup and then being around all these people vaping, I was doomed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was doomed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it started with me hitting people s vapes, being like, oh man, I wish I could hit that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they re like, just hit it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re like, come on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, fuck it, okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And every time I would do it, I d be like, damn it, that s so bad, Emma, you re so bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re really bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why would you do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then it got really bad because I went out and I fucking bought myself one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember why." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I was having a really tough day, not about anything in particular, but just in general." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was feeling really down and just depressed almost." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, fuck it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care about anything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to go buy a vape." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That ll make me feel better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s just been plateaued from there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s where I m at." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My emotional state has improved since that day, but nothing has changed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m continuing to vape." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re addicted to something, it s so easy to just make excuses for yourself that are completely invalid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always have some sort of excuse for myself when I m like, oh, I need to quit again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, come on, Emma, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll think about it for a second and I m like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but come on, you just went through a really tough time with your love life, so it s totally okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, well, everyone else is vaping, so it s like, whatever, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, none of that is true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so crazy how easy it is to convince yourself that what you re doing is fine when it s not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been playing that silly little game in my head for the last few weeks because my willpower is low." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to use willpower every day for various different things that we deal with in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to use willpower to not say something rude to our teacher or to our boss." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to use willpower to exercise." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to use willpower to not go and text our ex or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re constantly using willpower and" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it can feel like you just don t have any left." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, that s not a proper excuse either, but I think that that s how I ve been feeling recently is like, Oh my God, I m using so much willpower and all these other areas of my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t use it here, but I can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just another excuse." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m back." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m vaping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not proud of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m mortified to come on here and tell you this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But listen, I made the decision to involve the internet, you listening, on this journey with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got to show you the good, the bad, and the ugly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s been great to share this experience with the internet because it s held me accountable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, I probably would have gone back to vaping like a week after mentally deciding I was gonna quit had I not shared that I wanted to do this with the internet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because I told everybody I was quitting, every time I d have an urge, I was like, I can t go back and tell everyone, nevermind." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that would destroy me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it definitely held me accountable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s also added a level of pressure that is arguably not helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t decide." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, this is something I did to myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So none of you are putting pressure on me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m putting pressure on me for you, from you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re not even putting pressure on me, but I m just assuming that you are, which is then" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Causing me to feel pressure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel ten times more guilty about using the vape again Because I shared it with the internet and I m not sure what that says about me and the value that I put on the opinions of the general internet, I mean I do respect the people who" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "listen to my podcast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess it does make sense that I care about making the people who listen to my podcast proud." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, it s an abstract group of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel 10 times guiltier." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "about being back on the vape." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And arguably this is good because I should feel bad about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s not something that I should be doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that I need to quit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that shame and pressure to do better can sometimes backfire in a weird way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve noticed that this has sort of happened with me in my subconscious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The guilt and shame and pressure that I m feeling" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "almost caused me to rebel and just be like, well, fuck it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to keep doing it then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the shame and pressure make me feel bad about myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you feel bad about yourself, you have much less motivation to do something that requires a level of willpower." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just don t care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t value yourself enough to do something challenging to benefit yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, I think keeping these sorts of journeys to yourself can be valuable because you re able to go on the journey on your own and inevitably you re gonna fuck up, but instead of having to ask three other people or a hundred other people for forgiveness when you fuck up, you only have to ask yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And arguably that s easier and much better." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the other hand, we can have a tendency to make excuses for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it can be really nice to have people holding you accountable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m sort of torn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no regrets about sharing this journey with the internet, but I ve noticed how it s impacted the way I m processing the situation, the way that I m handling the situation, and I m just sharing that with you so that you can consider it if you ever need to quit something or change something about yourself and you re trying to decide whether or not to share that with others." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it depends on you and it depends on the severity of the situation, you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s also really hard to share your journey with others because when you make a brief slip up, instead of just leaving that in the past and doing better tomorrow, you might feel a pressure to tell everyone who knows about your journey that you made a slip up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that makes you relive your slip up more times than you may need to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be a lot easier to slip up and then just say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a slip up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s move on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s just do better tomorrow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if it s a journey that you re going on personally in your own mind and universe and no one else knows," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then it doesn t matter if other people see you slip up or this or that because only you know what your end goal is and there s nobody pointing out this or pointing out that and there s no one to update on this fuck up or that fuck up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I m really conflicted on what the best method is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s the moral of the story." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This shit is not gonna be linear." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not gonna be perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When there s something in your life that you know you need to change," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t expect that journey to be picture-perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be bumps." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be big fuck-ups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be small fuck-ups." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are going to be epiphanies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you keep pushing, and you keep trying, and you don t give up, and you don t let your self-esteem get destroyed over it by remembering that you re human, and this is just what happens when humans try to change things," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "then eventually you ll succeed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know for me, I know I ll quit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I will." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some of you out there might have your doubts right now." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can handle that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can handle that because I know I will quit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be in a month and it might" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be in 20 years, but I will quit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it ll be sooner than 20 years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might take a little longer than a month." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m realizing that this is much more challenging than I initially thought." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really thought I d be done by now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is going to be a journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not gonna give up on myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not gonna let this failure change the way I see myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still awesome." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m still tough and cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And eventually I ll do this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But by the way, there are so many other things that I m trying to change simultaneously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we can all relate to this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s usually not just one thing that we want to change about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I want to stop using the vape, but I also am managing my social media addiction." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I know we re all sick of talking about it, but we all have social media addictions." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, sorry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There might be a few of you out there who are different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but most of us do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something that I m constantly working on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have these phases where I m really good and my relationship with social media is really healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I have phases where I just waste my life on there for weeks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just scrolling and looking, I m also working on being less self-deprecating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, I didn t know why I was that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Upon further reflection, I think it is a defense mechanism I use to avoid people saying mean things about me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I want to be the first one to say it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It also lessens the possibility of embarrassment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m just constantly self-deprecating, then I m less likely to get embarrassed because, again, I embarrass myself first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m trying not to do that anymore, because I don t think that that s good for my self-esteem or for those around me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not enjoyable for people to hear." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People don t like when I m self-deprecating." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, that s not nice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t say that about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I m like, OK, but that s my prerogative." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can say whatever I want about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also know what they mean." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like it s uncomfortable when somebody is talking shit about themselves too much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, a little self-deprecating jab here or there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve gone into a routine of constantly saying self-deprecating things about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s just not pleasant to be around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m working on that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get my point here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all constantly working on changing things about ourselves and it is a long and bumpy road." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of the changes that we try to make to ourselves take a lifetime." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we never fully reach a point that we re satisfied with and that s okay too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as long as you re going in the right direction, vaguely, and you keep doing your best, everything s going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know when I m going to update you next about my nicotine quitting journey." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might update you in a month." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might update you in five years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But listen, if you see me out hitting the vape, you have the right to come up to me and say, Emma, put that thing down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I had a better update for you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope you re not too disappointed in me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be disappointed in me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can handle that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just be kind of gentle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, my nicotine quitting update, super disappointing edition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, not my proudest moment, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a good feeling about 2024 for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it s going to be a year of cleansing my body of unwanted chemicals, such as nicotine, really finding myself again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in your 20s, you re constantly losing yourself and then finding yourself again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Isn t that what they all say?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know, maybe 2024 will be a year of finding myself again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also expecting a really interesting style shift for myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like my clothing is going to get more exciting for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think it s going to be one of those years where it s hot girl winter, then it s hot girl spring, then it s hot girl summer, obviously." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and it s hot girl fall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m like kind of feeling that trajectory coming through for me for 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, that s what I m looking forward to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just 2024 being my year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, this is honestly like actually me making an excuse for myself again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Me being like 2024 is my year." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna quit the vape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll be like such a hot year for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that is me subconsciously saying I don t have to quit till 2024." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, I still have a lot of work to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, well, listen, I love you all and I appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope you re having a gorgeous day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you re not, I hope tomorrow s gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if tomorrow s not either, you ll have a gorgeous day soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll come at some point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you enjoy Anything Goes, listen anywhere you stream podcasts, watch video exclusively on Spotify, give Anything Goes a rating if you like it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain if you want to see pretty much just the clothes that I m wearing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ChamberlainCoffee.com to shop if you want to pick up some coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Delicious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or matcha or tea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have all the beverages you could dream of." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Until then, just know that I love you and appreciate you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today I m going to be speaking to a very, very special and unique individual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going to be talking to Dr. Lisa Miller." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s so interesting about her to me is that she is the living example of the connection between spirituality and science." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for so long, I ve believed that spirituality and science do not go hand in hand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, I went to Catholic school and I remember being in science class and thinking, I m in Catholic school right now where there s one set of beliefs and then what I m learning in science class is sort of contradicting those beliefs and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From that point forward, I was like, these two things cannot coexist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I am now starting to understand that that was my misunderstanding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was missing the point completely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Understandably so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was 15 and wearing PacSun skinny jeans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, I had a lot of things to figure out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we re going to be talking to Dr. Lisa Miller." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She is the founder of Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s also a professor of psychology." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She has spent over a decade studying the impact of spirituality and religion on the brain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And she s a very spiritual woman herself, but she has the science to back it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For those of you who are spiritual," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This conversation with Lisa is going to be like music to your ears." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For those of you who are not spiritual, this might feel like a lot, but I encourage you to open your mind and heart to spirituality as a whole." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us are put off by spirituality because we associate it with religion, but religion and spirituality are very different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They definitely exist together often, but they are not the same." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All that to say, have an open mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s get spiritual with Lisa." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My own spirituality is so like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so unique to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is so specifically like my own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "connection with the universe that I feel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s so abstract and only I feel like I can understand it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s something I feel, but I cannot explain it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel it in your deep inner wisdom." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think I ve actually always had that, but I didn t know what it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I know when I m connected to the universe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know when the universe is pushing me to do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know when the universe is telling me not to do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can hear that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know why and I ve gone through phases where I ve been like, I m losing it because what is that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been very scientific, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, where s the proof of this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where s the proof of that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was like my, you know, young trying to feel mature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve realized that, you know, spirituality, you cannot" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "explain it a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very personal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, I love that you said you know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know in a deep, deep way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hard data." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, 100%." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I ve listened to the universe, taken the signs," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s completely changed my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like listening to it and tapping into it and not fighting against it has only led me to a better life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, to me, that s hard proof." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So when it comes in, when you feel the guidance of the universe, is it, do you feel it as a sort of," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "tug in the heart?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do you feel it as a come here in your mind s eye, a direction?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, people, it comes in on different channels for different people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for me, two ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, in moments of deep, deep, deep depression and despair, I have like these callings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like where it s like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I need to do this, or even at times, somebody will come to me during one of those moments and say, you should do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "A synchronicity, a human being shows up and at that moment, not the five days before, the five days after, but in that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, it s like I m in the depths of my despair and someone will suggest something that clicks." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can think of like two examples." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was really depressed in high school, one of my darkest," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "darkest darkest times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad told me, you need to start a YouTube channel." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so, that s when that happened." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That changed my entire fucking life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, that s proof in the pudding." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why would he say that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s like, yeah, it s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, he had reasons to say that, but it s almost like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was so specific, and I listened, and it changed my whole life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was going through my first terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, most gut-wrenching breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The first breakup s the worst." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The worst." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s traumatic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I went through that first breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got a call from my agent saying, you just got invited to a fashion show for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I loved fashion, but I was like, I don t need to be involved." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that opportunity just came to me in that moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, so deep in my despair that I was like, oh, no, I don t even care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I just want him back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s weird that these things come to me in my deepest, darkest moments." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So fascinating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, your beautiful story about it s in our most painful moment where, you know, I can remember when I was 19, I fell in love for the first time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he was perfect." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, I d always wanted to date someone who looked like him." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My type at the time was a wrestler and he looked like he was a wrestler." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Continue." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he looked like he d been carved out of marble." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, absolutely." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow we were really living the same life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And every time he opened his mouth it was like pearls." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "He was so interesting and he thought I was interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then after three months he said, I love you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, you love me?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then after five months, he broke up with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was devastated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I said, well, how, you said you loved me and now you don t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he said, no, I truly did love you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I m like, you don t love me now?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And he said, no, I don t feel that way now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I m like, well, how can you stop loving someone?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I mean, my mom loves me and she still loves me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "My dad loves me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it made no sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it sent me into a deep quandary of like, was love impermanent?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And can we count on love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If he loved me and then he stopped, John, call him John." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Well, is John real?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, John s one way one day and one way the next, can we count on anyone?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Can we count on anything?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it was a big existential dive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I got more depressed and more depressed and everything I d ever taken to be true somehow got dismembered and upended." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I was really lost." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it wasn t just the breakup." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It was this deep dive into, you know," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "what s life really about and can we count on each other and is there really love in the universe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s growing up and losing that naive sense of trust that we just have in people s word, have in people s behaviors." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We take things at face value and the second that this second dimension is added where it s like, wait a minute," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that might not be real, that might not be true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t trust that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had the exact same crisis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So then, as you were sharing, I can say in my case, I really kind of fell through." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like I got depressed, you know, and I, you know, I was exhausted and I d wake up in the night and I was like picking at my skin." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I looked hideous and I just felt really awful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I took myself to a therapist and I said, listen, you know, I don t know what the meaning in life is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t know if love is real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "All these things I d counted on the world I knew doesn t stand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And what actually happened in this year of real struggle was I started feeling just tiny intimations of the heart, these little blasts of love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And then people started showing up, as you d said so beautifully in your path, and started saying, Hey, come along with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You want to go on a trip?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You want to come to our family picnic?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There were trail angels showing up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Hey, have you ever thought about trying this new program?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my heart opened and I actually found a deeper love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My heart awakened." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I lost the childhood notion that everybody s gonna be loving and love me forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But what I gained was the universe loves every one of us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is your definition of spirituality?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think a lot of people get religion and spirituality confused, and understandably so, because it s like, religion is very, very spiritual, but it is also different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they re very different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you can be religious, I d argue, and not be spiritual." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be spiritual and not religious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can be both at once." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m curious what your definition of spirituality is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So from the view of science, spirituality is our deep seat of perception through which we see into the deeper level of life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are built, every one of us, with an inborn seed of perception to see into the deeper nature of life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is our innate human spirituality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We all have this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Religion is how our natural spirituality is often cultivated by about two-thirds of people in the United States." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our natural capacity to feel the connection to the deeper nature of life, to the loving presence, that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "capacity is shaped by religion for about two-thirds of people in our country." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the sacred texts, the lessons in how to understand the universe and right by its side is how we treat each other." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think, I guess where I see the difference is like religion is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like a school for spirituality in a way, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like going to college or going to high school and like learning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "About spiritual life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but it s like whether or not you apply it is up to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And whether or not the specific teachings work for you depends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, some kids do really well at school and they love the way that they re taught and they use it all and they soak it all up and then they get a job using what they learned there, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it benefits their life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some people, they don t learn the way that school, it doesn t click for them, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they don t apply it and they don t get great grades." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then they end up getting a job elsewhere because that didn t fit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see that as how organized religion is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can help you if it s a good fit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a training, it s a guidance into your spiritual awareness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But not every faith tradition is a match for everyone, and not every messenger of a faith tradition is a match." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are built to have a direct, authentic relationship with the flame." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You are built to find and know spiritual life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And how you get there, I guess, just is different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for some people, they find support and guidance through their religion and faith tradition." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And for some people, they say, it s in my own journey." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s in my own reflection." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s in my writing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s on the top of Mount Rainier or in Glacier National Park or with my siblings." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We get there different ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But there is one spiritual brain and we all have it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to spiritual guidance, you know, this feeling that we re being spoken to by or led, I guess, by a God or the universe, everybody s picture of what that is is different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that that s coming from something outside of ourselves or is that coming" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "from within, because that s something I ve never quite understood when it comes to my own spirituality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like it s coming from outside of me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it doesn t feel like it s coming from within me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there are parts of it that are, but I feel like there s another force." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely, there s another force." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s spirit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, yes, but it s like, what is, is that like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a part of our brain that s disconnected from the other part?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is that something truly outside of our body?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it something we can t even comprehend?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like what is that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I would say that we all have an instrument for knowing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have an awakened heart." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have an awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have an instrument for knowing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we can pick up on guidance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can pick up on spirit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Consciousness or spirit, I think is both outside us and inside us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it penetrates and is in every little bit of life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so it moves in and through us and it moves through one another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The way that your father knew just the day that was the double door opening for the next whole new chapter in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I think we re tapping in to one sun, one source of life, and that it s in us, through us, and among us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spirit is in us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spirit s through us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spirit s among us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you are exquisitely attuned." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When something can t be perfectly explained, perfectly shown to me, this is what this is, I have a tendency to almost gaslight myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and say what you re feeling is invalid because where is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel this connection to the universe, something larger." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But where is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, where is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, show us where it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I m also like, but Emma, you feel that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you need any more proof?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why do you need more proof?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this inner battle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think for a lot of people, that inner battle prevents tapping into one s spiritual side." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know for me, I m constantly fighting that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "voice saying, but where is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that real?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you know that s real?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it enough proof to just feel inside that there s something there?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inner knowing is hard data." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Inner knowing is real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s absolutely real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And as you said, when we listen to our inner knowing and we say, okay, my gut instinct says every single day I go right at this corner, but something s telling me to go left." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and there I find a child in need, or there I find a friend I haven t seen in seven years that I m so excited to see again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That deep gut instinct that says, no, today turn left, could actually open up double doors in our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because when we only base our decisions on what s happened in the past, every day I go, right, and I need to go to the grocery store, and I ve got to meet my friend, and we re having a coffee." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m using data that to the second is outdated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s what I ve done yesterday and the day before and the day before that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But that gut instinct, that inspiration, that mind s eye where you suddenly see, no, I should go left." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You hear, go left." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That has information that s yet to unfold." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That has information that opens up where we re about to heel strike to something new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So our gut instincts, our intuitions, when we listen to synchronicity, that knowing inside, that is the best knowing we have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That gut instinct that we think, well, should I really listen to that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, that, that is what will guide you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the bedrock." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think it s harder to be spiritual today?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think it s more necessary to be spiritual today." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I agree." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s because like, we look back and religion used to be, which, you know, as we mentioned earlier, isn t always spirituality necessarily." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Though I think in history, it was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People needed religion back then." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, now," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "modern religion is not working for a lot of people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people are like it s outdated and you know in some ways maybe it is and it s it s more complicated now the relationship to religion is complicated and I think a lot of people are like well I still need something I need to be spiritual but also a lot of people are like all this stuff s outdated where s the cold hard evidence and I feel like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my sort of situation with like my depression and then dad telling me to start YouTube." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would have happened otherwise?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I can t imagine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It changed my life in the in the most insane way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even like to me that s I" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "cannot deny that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When somebody hasn t had an experience like that, how do you explain to them what being spiritual is?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There are a lot of people who don t have that proof, you know, in their own lives yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s yet to come." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So, or maybe they have and they just haven t seen it or they ve been pushing it off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, how do you speak to somebody who maybe hasn t had this intense moment that s so clear?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "May we do a practice, a brief practice?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That invites people into their own awareness?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is this practice I call the road of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s just, you know, a minute and a half." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to invite you if you d like to take a few breaths, close your eyes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Clear out your inner space." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I invite you to locate a time where you wanted something so badly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could have been him or her or them to say yes, to love me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could have been a job, an internship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could have been" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "somewhere you wanted to go, somewhere you wanted to travel, you got everything set up, it was yours, that job, him heard them, that school, that opportunity, you did everything right, A plus B plus C, research strategy, you were clever, you made a tactic, you went for your red door, that is your red door, you grabbed the handle, but it stuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and you can t believe it s stuck because you did everything right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did A plus B plus C, you were clever, you tactically were on the nose and you kick the door, you might in time get frustrated or even depressed, maybe more depressed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But only because that red door was stuck, you had no choice, you pivot, you turn 40 degrees, you turn 120 degrees," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And over there is a wide open yellow door, a shining open yellow door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might ve said yellow doors don t exist." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You hadn t heard of yellow doors, never thought of yellow doors." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other side of the yellow door is someone more right for you that makes you feel alive, that makes you feel at home in your inner heart, is a job that makes you feel creative and energized, is a mentor, is a friend," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That yellow door that has everything to do with who you are and where you are today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was not what you had wanted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was better than what you wanted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as you sit back now and you think of that stuck red door and the hairpin turn that brought you to the wide open yellow door that has everything to do with who you are and where you are today." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was there anyone standing at that hairpin turn who said, Hey, it s time for you to look at that yellow door." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hey, when I was on this path, I found a yellow door, someone who gave you information, guidance, maybe even direction, a trail angel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as you sit back now and look at that stuck red door, hairpin turn, trail angel, and wide open yellow door that has everything to do with who you are and where you are today, how are the most important parts of our lives found?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it narrowly through planning and chipping away?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure, we ve got to be prepared and work hard, but that alone is insufficient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in the greatest moments of struggle and disappointment and loss, is it possible that we are not narrowly makers of our path, but discoverers of our journey?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And instead of asking, why didn t I get what I wanted?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why didn t he still like me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if we shift the conversation with life and awaken to what is life showing me now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the universe revealing to me now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How am I being guided?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where is the yellow door?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And finally, as you sit way back, stuck red door, hairpin turn, trail angel, and wide open yellow door, is it possible that you have been on a spiritual path all along?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where in this journey" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is guidance the universe, whatever your word is, God, spirit?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is the universe in the wide open yellow door and the stuck red door?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is spirit in your trail angel and your openness to be in dialogue with the deeper presence in life, the great positive sacred force that s loving, holding, and guiding?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it possible that you have been awakened, that you have been on a spiritual path all along?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just transcended through time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No, no, I m not kidding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just transcended through time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I just literally feel like I ran around the universe and came back." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I like was so there with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like I, I was so there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It almost freaks me out how there I was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That was so phenomenal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you consider sharing a bit?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "For me, this is something that I so deeply need to be reminded of, is every roadblock that comes up needs to be seen as a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Every single one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know, we all have a tendency to experience something that goes against what we thought we wanted and to be angry at the universe at first." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, why is this happening?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And it s okay, I think, to be sad, but I think it could be life-changing to see every challenge and every" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "pivot as a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It is a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And when you were talking about it, it just made me think about in relationships, career-related things where I ve been devastated, like beside myself devastated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I was thinking about in those moments if I could have shifted that and said, this is a beautiful pivot from what you thought your path was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I also think that there s something to be said for letting go a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What if you re never too hyper-focused on the red door and you re always looking around so that you can always sort of see everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You keep that eye open." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was having a lot of amiphony." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So a broad lens, a big, fluid, flowing way of being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is life showing me now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the shift from why is life happening to me to why is this happening for me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s scan and keep open to the yellow door that I can only see because this red door is stuck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That yellow door is a gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all of these beautiful treasures that you ve shared, you know, about the podcast, about fashion, these double doors opening are because you pivoted and said, yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the universe revealing to me now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I being invited to become by the universe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a spiritual path." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not radical control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think radical control keeps us trapped in yesterday s ideas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we awaken to the universe saying, Emma, come with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s so much easier, isn t it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like to just sit back and relax and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Do your best in life, work towards your goals, work towards what you want in life, while still keeping an open mind about what the end looks like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve been really thinking about this a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You can t be so obsessed with what every step is going to look like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This beautiful balance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the awakened brain, I talk about we have two neurocircuits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And one is our achieving brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ve got to have it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to have it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve got it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t sit home eating ice cream." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve got to go out and try." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "our awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our awakened brain is the one in every single one of us that hears the call, you know, Emma, you re being called for a podcast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to be able to receive guidance and know that we are loved and held and guided, we" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "never alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is our awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s there for all of us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yes, that is hard data." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we perceive that deep guts feeling, that knowing of the heart, sometimes in my mind s eye, I can hear it or envision where we re going next." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is very powerful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the best information we have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That is the truest source of guidance we have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you dig a little bit deeper into the difference between the achieving brain and the awakened brain?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are these two sides of the brain that can coexist?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are they separate sort of mindsets?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re either experiencing one mindset or you re experiencing the other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just dig into what these are, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So every one of us learns very well in school, first grade, second grade, all the way through to plan and to strategize." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, we ve got to pay the rent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve got, but that alone is not going to fill the hole in the heart that will not fill the bucket of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all the planning and all the strategizing in the world doesn t prepare us for the knock at the door for our calling, our path, the miracles that line our journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so we need to engage the wholeness of how we re built." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Our brain literally has a station in it, circuits, through which we can perceive the guidance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s literally a shift in the attention from the dorsal to the ventral attention network." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re built with these shifts from exactly as you described it, Emma, this narrow bowling alley look into life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, how am I going to get this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is what I wanted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have got to get this job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve got to get him to back to, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "the floodlights go back on, life is illuminated, and wow, there is a big open double door right here, a double yellow door." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So our awakened brain is our gift." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And at any moment, we can awaken to the love that connects us and guides us to the guidance that our heart, our intuition, sometimes even we can hear and see," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we can awaken to the spirit through life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when we do, we re walking our authentic life and we can find all sorts of opportunities where people are showing up for us and beautiful moments where we can show up for one another, because it s all actually, you know, not just a world of fractured people in different places." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a world where we re magnificently unique and incredibly beautifully diverse." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re part of one family of life, one source, one spirit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you talk about the connection between spirituality and science, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because it s not just something that we feel, there is also science to back it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is something I actually didn t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you are going to be opening my mind as well as everyone else s to how science and spirituality become one." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you even study something as abstract and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "internal as spirituality?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I will tell you that the science, there s moments as a scientist, a career scientist, that when we look through the lens, it is jaw-droppingly breathtaking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the science on human spiritual life is truly awe-inspiring." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It turns out that when we use the many different lenses in science, we see first and foremost that every single one of us is a naturally spiritual being." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "just as we re physical, emotional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mental beings, we are inherently spiritual beings as we re physical, emotional, cognitive beings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So too, we are spiritual beings, every one of us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We know this through the lens of science using a twin study." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Switching lenses, science has a whole stack of lenses." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can look inside the brain, we can use an MRI study." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it turns out that within every human being on earth, there is a common shared one spiritual brain and we all have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This brain, our awakened brain, has four components." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In times of joy, in times of sorrow, we can engage our awakened brain and see into life in a much deeper way that just opens up dimensions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The components are that we perceive and know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Know we are loved and held." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The bonding network comes up online just as it was there as children in our parents arms." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We shift attention networks from the narrow bowling alley, I ve got to have it, why am I not getting what I want, dorsal," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "attention to the big, broad, bottom-up ventral attention network where the lights go on and many people say, hey, a new direction pops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see we are loved and held guided." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then finally, the parietal region that puts in and out hard boundaries." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So we know that, you know, we are in LA or we are in New York or Beijing or Mumbai." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have a different GPS coordinates." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have different bio body suits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "but we are also part of one source of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "White caps on one ocean, interbeing, as Thich Nhat Hanh said." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are one family of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are loved and held guided and never alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This seat of perception, the frontotemporal network, the shift in attention network, and the parietal region allows us to perceive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this is not a belief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This isn t a leap of faith." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is a deep seat of perception, our awakened brain, through which we see into the deeper true nature of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s see if I m understanding this properly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re wired to have the ability to see the world in a way that goes hand in hand with spirituality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The spirituality itself is not what is studied, but rather the fact that in the brain, like we can t see somebody thinking of... We re not measuring God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not measuring God, but what we are measuring is our ability to perceive the world in a way that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "awakens us spiritually like yes there are certain animals probably that are biologically created to perceive the world a certain way so that they survive right and then we are also" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like created biologically a certain way so that we can see the world in a way that is spiritual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that it?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that s the first piece that we are built to perceive a spiritual world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then the second piece is just as we re wired to see chairs and tables so we don t bump into them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we see into the world at the spiritual level, life unfolds, real life, high traction life in a way that is far more glorious." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are healthier." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re 80% protected against addiction." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We are 70% protected against really dangerous risk-taking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In this pandemic, the tragedy, the real epidemic for Gen Z is tragically suicide." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The rate of death by suicide rivals the rate of death by auto accident in high school." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, a strong spiritual awareness is 82% protective against completed suicide when shared." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When we share our understanding spiritually with one another, we are four-fifths protected against the most heinous pandemic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It isn t COVID or cancer for Gen Z. It s suicide." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we have the antidote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "if there were a little pill like melatonin or C, and I said, hey, you could take this and be 82% protected against the pandemic, this tidal wave." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the felt sense of, and it s a very real feeling of loneliness and isolation, the nagging fear of inadequacy, that has an antidote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it s knowing our deep true, knowing, perceiving how we re built to see our true spiritual nature." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know if this is just now or maybe this has existed throughout time, but I think because of social media, the internet, all of these things that sort of dehumanize other people in a way, I feel like it s harder than ever to be spiritual now because I d argue, and sort of what I m absorbing through this conversation is how" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, being spiritual involves more than just oneself, but it s also the entire world around you, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way that the internet and modern technology disconnects us from the real world, it just makes so much sense to me why" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think it s really hard to be spiritual now because" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "we re not as in touch with the world around us on so many levels." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we re disconnected from everything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, the world is banking on Jane Z to realize your spiritual heart, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every era, it has been the young adults that bring culture forward, right?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the civil rights movement, it was people in their 20s that brought forward a new society of greater equality." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, right now, this is a world that is full of fracturedness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "absurdly polarized, you know, unnecessarily bickering people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s a deeper reality that we can know through our awakened brain, through our awakened awareness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There is a deeper reality of love and oneness and connection where, okay, yes, even if people happen to have a different idea or happen to have a different political party, can I love you more deeply as a soul on earth?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "See, that s the thing that s been so" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for me, really like spiritually, I guess, disheartening over the last few years." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I mean, I think the way that people treat each other and the way that people feel comfortable treating themselves even online is" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think that it s destroying the human spirit." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Because it s not face-to-face, because there s something in between, people behave in a way that is completely evil." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "disrespectful towards themselves, you know, by maybe portraying themselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "They, you know, edit themselves to look a certain way or they do whatever, you know, to look a certain way online, which I would say is somewhat disrespecting yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It s like, you look great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, don t do that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That s not fair to you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I feel like our comfortability to do things that are spiritually bad for us," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "is we re more comfortable doing those things because it s not face to face." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And so that s creating" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "a lot of really depressed, anxious kids." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I so agree with you that, you know, it s actually the same awakened awareness through which we can know this deeper seat of perceiving through which we know we are loved and held, guided, and never alone by the universe is the same deep seat of perception in our brain through which we can show up for one another to be loving and holding, guiding," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "never leave anyone alone." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what you are diagnosing right as our societal ill is indeed an atrophy of our natural awakened awareness of our natural spiritual awareness and we can build it back up." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How are we to do that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "You know like I think it s especially my generation so" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "chronically online and it s so like, by the way, me too, like me too, in every way, shape or form." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I try to have a healthy balance with it, but I m starting to question if that s even possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "If we were to take away the social media, which by the way, I don t even want to do, like I enjoy social media, but I also know that it destroys me mentally and it" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It makes me less spiritual." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "It like immediately just takes me down to this level that I m better then." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But there s something about social media that just takes me down immediately to this lower vibration of thinking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Without, no matter what, I m realizing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So part of me wonders, is it possible to participate in these things that make our lives easier, more accessible?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "still find our spiritual awakening?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Like, is that possible?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So Emma, you are opening the door of using the public square as a place for authenticity, for awakening of our natural spiritual heart." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "May we do another practice?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, I would love to." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, this is an invitation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I invite you to close your eyes, clear out your inner space," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is an invitation to open your awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In your inner chamber, I invite you to set before you a table." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is your table." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Into your table, you may invite anyone, living or deceased, who truly has your best interest in mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "anyone living or deceased who truly has your best interest in mind." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with them all sitting there, ask them if they love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you may invite your higher self, the part of you that is so much more than anything that you may have done or not done, anything you have or not have, your true eternal higher self." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and ask you if you love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you may invite your higher power, however, you know, whatever word is yours, universe, spirit, God, your higher power, and ask if they love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now with all of these people sitting here right now, what do they need to tell you now?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do they need to share?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What do you need to know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when you re ready, I invite you back." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is your counsel and they are always there for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who shows up may change depending on where you are in your journey." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can ask what is on your heart." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is your natural awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one can ever take your awakened brain away from you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is yours." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a direct connection to source." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I so rarely can snap into like that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "There s something about you that is so special because I, it s like I had the ability to like snap into it so easily." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think we ve created a very, very unique space because I was able to just like," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "get there immediately." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think a lot of young people underestimate, I think, myself included, how important this is, like how really, really important this is." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "And I think it s very obvious, like what is beneficial about being in touch, like being, having a spiritual awakening, understanding that side of yourself, but" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "for people who are listening, how can it change your life?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think a lot of people are like, yeah, maybe it ll make me happier, but also going out tonight with my friends will make me happy, which is true." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "That can be really fun and can make you happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "But I think these assignments that you give yourself, like I m gonna become more spiritually awake, can feel, it s delayed gratification." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "So there s less motivation to have that" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "to dedicate yourself to that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "What do we have to gain from that?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I think people who need that final push could benefit from hearing what you ve seen through your work." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "How does this change people s lives?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we started by talking about how in our most painful hour, in our darkest hour, it turns out that despair and depression can be a knock at the door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for an opening, really an awakening to a whole nother deeper felt love and buoyancy and connection and guidance that depression is the knock at the door for awakening, for awakening of our awareness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, as we just very gently on our own terms, nourish our own spiritual awareness, you know, and whether it s through meditation or being in nature, whether it s through purely honoring the gift," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of an inspiration, a direct hit in the heart, a gut instinct, a knowing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we honor our spiritual awareness, it grows stronger." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It becomes the go-to place." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And suddenly, all of life, as you said, the floodlights come back on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start to see yellow doors." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "opening to people who we absolutely adore, to new experiences, to new jobs, to new types of a life we didn t even know existed." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because our big life, our biggest, fullest, most inspired life has yet to be brought into form." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We don t know what that is." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it is far more full of love and far more shining and radiant and meaningful." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "deeply meaningful than anything we might have envisioned." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is a path forward so that our walk becomes one with a beautiful, big spiritual footprint." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would you say to somebody who has gotten dealt a really challenging hand in life, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody who, not their fault, they ve just had what seems to be" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "terrible circumstance after terrible circumstance." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it started when they re young and it just, it seems like a domino effect." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And none of it is their fault." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all things that have happened to them." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think people like that, they can go in two directions, you know?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "lean into the spiritual side of themselves out of necessity, but I think a lot of people lose faith completely." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They just, they re like, well, how is there something out there protecting me?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I have yet to be protected by anything ever in my life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How, what would you say to somebody who s in that position?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So the science has this beautiful lens through which we ve seen that trauma, real despair, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxious flashbacks, trauma is a gateway to growth." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when science turns the lens and looks real close at how that growth unfolds, it turns out that if I can access that very experience, the trauma itself that day, put it in words, share it with people I trust," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And then shine the light of spiritual awareness onto that moment." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "God, what are you showing me here?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Spirit, where are you here?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There is the profound reshuffling of meaning." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I didn t fall through the black hole." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I am still here." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I was caught." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So post-traumatic spiritual growth can come out of trauma." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And when we choose that work, and it can take time, it s not just two weeks, it can take years, right?" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I realized on the other side that I had been held all along." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s a matter of looking back and saying, terrible things did happen to me." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re real." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re real." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they re not fair." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it sucks." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, look at how I got through something that s so terrible." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got through that." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I m able to help more people as a result in a way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Your spiritual teacher in your walk and in your talk" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "and your spiritual warrior, because the force of love and renewal is far greater than the force of entropy and destruction." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This spiritual awakening of it all is, it s so exciting and we can all do it right now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I, you have inspired me today to further that growth and like," }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "put some more attention to it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like I have more knowledge on how to do that now." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can imagine so many people out there right now are feeling the same way." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Emma, I honor your awakened walk and your awakened life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And to the beautiful Gen Z, let s awaken our world." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s do it." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wake up!" }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You all have an awakened brain." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we re counting on you." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": null, "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Thank you so much." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Lisa is such a phenomenal human being and I m so incredibly grateful that she took the time to speak to me and honestly give me another spiritual awakening that I was not expecting." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was not expecting to have that today." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It really did trigger a lot of thoughts in my brain that I think needed to be triggered." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this episode, go check out Lisa s books." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She s the author of several books, including The Spiritual Child, The New Science of Parenting for Health and Lifelong Thriving, for my parents out there, and The Awakened Brain, The New Science of Spirituality in Our Quest for an Inspired Life." }, { "chunk": "5", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go check those books out." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,859
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My favorite type of content to consume online is content that tells me how to live my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tells me to wake up at 5 a.m., do Pilates, do my skincare routine a certain way, shower a certain way, eat a certain way, meditate a certain way, journal a certain way, sleep a certain way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love content that tells me how to live my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it comes in the form of advice." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Someone taking their personal experience and sharing that with the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it comes in the form of people leading by example or living by example." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re sharing their lives with the world and there are certain things that they do that clearly make their life better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s inspiring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this type of content is appealing to me because it shows me new ways that I could live my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listen, advice and people who lead by example can give us valuable information on how we can" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "live a better life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that this is a really incredible thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It seems that everywhere we look, we find inspiration to live a better life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How could that be flawed?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it is, and we ll talk about it later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s talk about why this is a great thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s pretty obvious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my own personal life, I ve adopted so many habits and hobbies from other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, listening to sleep meditations before bed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For a long time, I was listening to podcasts or YouTube videos or TV shows before going to bed, and I switched over to listening to sleep meditations because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t like complete silence when I m falling asleep, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unless I m in bed with someone else, like if I m in a relationship, aw, cute!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m dating somebody, aw, cute!" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sleeping next to them and that is enough, like I don t need something on the TV, I don t need to listen to a sleep meditation for some reason, then it s fine." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I m alone, which is a lot," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "99.9% of the time, I don t want to fall asleep to silence and listening to YouTube videos or podcasts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is okay, and there are some podcasts that work for me, educational ones, but the best option is sleep meditations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I got this advice from multiple sources." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My yoga instructor recommended this, but I also think I heard about it in someone s vlog or something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t remember, but it was somebody online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And listening to sleep meditations before bed is a game changer, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a game changer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I fall asleep to a meditation, I wake up feeling different, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might just be me, but I wake up feeling different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the remainder of that day, I m less anxious, I feel more clear-headed," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wouldn t say my sleep quality changes, but I do feel refreshed, probably more than I do otherwise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s been a game changer for me, it really works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that I adopted from other people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also adopted many anxiety relief methods." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My anxiety seems to only be getting worse as an adult." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say my depression has gotten a bit better, actually a lot better, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still do have my episodes, but it was far worse when I was a teenager." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My depression has gotten a lot better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My anxiety is getting worse as I m getting older." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s so much advice out there on how to help with anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of it didn t work for me, but some of it did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are certain breathing techniques that have really, really helped me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, for me, the most simple one, which is breathing in, holding your breath for three seconds or four seconds, and then breathing out, doing that like three to 10 times when I m really anxious can really help." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes even that s not enough, but that s been really helpful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Prioritizing daily movement, like making sure I m moving every day," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in one way or another, that s really helped with my anxiety." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s advice that I got through the internet, through someone telling me how to live my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s been incredibly beneficial for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started waking up early." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After years of waking up at noon every day," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because there were a lot of people in my life at the time, leading by example, waking up early, getting shit done early in the day and feeling really good about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, fuck, I need to start doing that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to work on that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve been waking up at 7 a.m." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ever since." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that probably started three and a half years ago." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m so glad that I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The morning time is my favorite time of the day, possibly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember one time I was watching a vlog and I discovered the concept of meal prepping, you know, cooking things in advance that you can eat for the rest of the week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simple concept, but I had never done that before." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was always pretty scrappy with it and just kind of throwing shit together or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I started meal prepping certain meals." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my breakfast, for example, is almost always meal prepped in the sense that I prepare it at the beginning of the week and I eat it for the rest of the week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was an idea that I got from somebody s YouTube channel, for sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also have implemented specific workout routines into my life because of how other people exercise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I make it a priority to walk a certain amount of steps per day because it just makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me sleep better." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like lifting weights a few times a week." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sue me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I saw other people lifting weights and talking about how it made them feel really good and really strong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, well, I want to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I run a few times a week because I ve seen how that benefits people as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m constantly taking inspiration from others sense of style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way that people express themselves through fashion is very inspiring to me, and I am constantly absorbing what everyone else is doing online and in person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and taking note of what works for them and exploring whether or not it would work for me, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what my style is made up of, seeing other people use fashion in a certain way that really works for them and taking bits and pieces of it and experimenting with it and doing it myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve adopted so many great habits, specifically from things that people have told me to do or to try, and people who live a great life and inspire me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m so grateful that I got that information so that I could integrate it into my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, but here s the drama, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here s where things," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "get a little spicy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can also be a bad thing, this overexposure to different opinions and ways to live a good life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think with the internet, it s even worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many people living in so many different ways, and all of them are having success in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s an overwhelming amount of information out there and sometimes it contradicts itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, one person might say, I went vegan and it healed my chronic pain and it healed my depression and it changed my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then someone else might say, I switched over to the carnivore diet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only eat meat and it healed my chronic pain and it did this and did that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so much information out there and a lot of it contradicts itself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, I think when it becomes" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "real problem is when we become fixated on implementing something and it s not working, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We become obsessed with implementing a new habit or hobby into our lifestyle because it really worked for somebody else, but it s just not working for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we don t want to give up because we feel like if we give up, we re a failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re like, well, if it worked for them, it must work for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it not working for me is a sign that I need to keep trying harder because there must be something wrong with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We often forget that not everything works for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we force ourselves to do things that don t for way too long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be hard to pivot when something doesn t work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if we don t, then we ll end up doing something for too long" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that just doesn t make sense for us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like trying to add a puzzle piece into the puzzle of our lives that doesn t fit, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think what s ultimately so damaging about it is that wasting our time trying to implement a habit or hobby or lifestyle choice into our lives that doesn t work prevents us from finding the things that do work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a ton of examples to share of things that I ve tried to implement into my life that were not good fits, that I tried to make fit for a little bit too long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a whole craze around waking up super early, like at 5 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "every day to maximize productivity, improve sleep schedule, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a phase when I was watching a lot of people online who were waking up super early every day and seeing great results from it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for a while there, I kinda tried it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were things I really liked about it, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked exercising super early in the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked watching the sun come up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked the stillness of the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked how productive it made me feel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were a lot of things that I liked about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t like how I was exhausted by 1 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and then exhausted again at 7.30 p.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when I still had things I had to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t like how on the weekends I couldn t stay up very late because if I wanted to wake up at 5 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and get a good night s rest, I d have to go to bed really early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t like how uncomfortable it was on some days to be up that early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was so, it could be so painful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some days it was easy, some days it was not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately it didn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I went back to waking up at like 7 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s perfectly fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that works great for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being up at 7 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "works great for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get everything done I need to do in the day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go to bed at a reasonable hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel productive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still get the stillness of the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not as still as when you re up at 5 a.m., but I still get that beautiful part of the morning." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was no reason for me to be waking up two hours early." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just, like, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally, why?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why I wanted to do it was because it worked for other people and there were positive benefits for other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t work out for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I kind of felt like a failure, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t anymore and I love waking up at seven." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also had a phase where I really wanted to have a sacred morning routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I d seen a lot of people really start to prioritize their morning routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, make it sacred, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wake up a bit earlier to take the time to make a coffee really, really slow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "do the full skincare routine, and make the bed, and brush the teeth, and clean the house, and then go and work out, and then come home and shower, and then get to work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or I guess if they worked out at home, then just go shower, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I tried that for a little while, and again, I actually really enjoyed it for a little while." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a phase where I really enjoyed having this picture-perfect morning routine that was sort of romanticized, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But eventually it became fatiguing for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my ideal morning routine, the morning routine that works the best for me is the complete opposite." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll tell you exactly what it is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s waking up, immediately going downstairs, not doing anything else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not making the bed, not fucking, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Straight downstairs, make the coffee, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After I make the coffee, I sit at my desk with my coffee and I check in, I look at emails, I look at texts I missed, I respond to a few things and then I go back upstairs and I get into my workout clothes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I brush my teeth?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I brush my hair?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I wash my face?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get into my workout clothes and I brush my hair with my fingers and put it into a bun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I fill up my water bottle and I go to my workout." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s something chill, sometimes it s something more intense, just depends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I split it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I break it up, but that s that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I come home and I sit down at my desk again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, mind you, teeth are not brushed yet still." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of you guys are going to think I m an absolute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just animal for this, but whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I sit down at my desk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do a little bit more work, maybe like a half hour to an hour as I finish my coffee." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I go and I take a shower and I do the full thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I brush my teeth really well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course, I do my full skincare routine and then I get dressed for the day and I m fully ready." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what works for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that picture perfect?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, it s a mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an absolute mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all out of order." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m brushing my teeth at like 10 a.m." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "at that point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not showering immediately after my workout." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m working on my computer for a little bit first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fucking mess." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I love my morning routine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that, for some reason, just works for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And trying to do the picture-perfect thing goes against my innate desires." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I like doing it exactly the way I like doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I have a desire to have a picture-perfect morning routine one morning, I ll do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But 95% of the time, I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s the type of morning routine I like to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, there are a lot of people out there that truly believe that journaling and meditating every day, usually at a similar time every day, is the only way to live life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I understand why, because journaling and meditating are incredible ways to practice mindfulness and center oneself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve had incredible experiences with journaling and meditating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s been really, really helpful for me during really challenging times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And good times, but more challenging times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m more inspired to do those things when I need them than when I m doing great, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a very specific way that people portray journaling and meditating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people do like a 10 minute meditation every morning at a certain time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people journal every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve had phases where that s worked for me and it s been really great, but overall in my life, no, I have my own way of doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, sometimes I ll meditate the classic good old fashioned way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I don t do it at any specific time of day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just do it whenever I need it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meditating looks different for me all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes meditating for me is deep breathing, sitting in bed, listening to a meditation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it s staring at the ceiling and listening to music for like an hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do that all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just sit in bed and listen to music and think for like an hour." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not necessarily the traditional form of meditating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, meditating is about clearing the mind, usually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes I want to meditate in a different way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to meditate in a way that s clearing my mind of all the things that I don t want to think about and then focusing on one specific thing, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I meditate when I m on a walk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, if I m like going for a walk, sometimes that s very meditative for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m clearing my mind as I do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it looks different all the time and as long as I get some form of meditation in, traditional or not, I feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t need to look the same every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At least for me and in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people might disagree but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And with journaling, weirdly, I haven t felt the desire to journal as much the last few months because I ve sort of been doing it in my brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, instead of writing things out, I ve been staring at the ceiling and thinking about things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, there s so much value in writing things down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t get me wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know the value of that and I have felt how impactful that is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about writing things down that allows you to release it, in a way, into the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel like you ve released something and that s incredibly valuable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes I don t need that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I do, I whip out the journal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes all I need is to stare at the ceiling and think about something very intently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what fucking works for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, sometimes that s all I need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I m more drawn to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the version of meditating and journaling that works for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this intense thinking that just works for me for some reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That definitely would not work for everyone, you know, but it really works for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it serves the same purpose in a lot of ways as meditating and journaling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I definitely have felt really bad about myself during phases where I m not super consistent about journaling every day and meditating every day in a certain way, because everyone else seemed to be doing it and it seemed to be working really well for them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even for a while, it kind of worked for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I got to a point where I was like, this isn t really working for me anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And without even realizing it, I replaced it with something else that actually did work for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being super strict with myself about how I practice mindfulness and self-awareness and self-reflection just doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s also a lot of people who swear by taking cold showers, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it does this, it does this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s all these health benefits and all these benefits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, you have to take a cold shower or do the cold plunge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I try to take cold showers every time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, fuck this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think the reason why I don t like doing it is because usually I shower after I exercise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve already exerted, there s so much willpower that goes into exercise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s so much discipline that goes into exercise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the time I get into the shower afterwards, I m like, yeah, I m fucking done for the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to save my willpower for other things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I need to save that up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in my body so that I can do hard things later, more hard things later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry I m not taking a cold shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just not doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I need something nice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need something comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I just exercised for like an hour." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m now exhausted and now I have to go, now I m going to go work on things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And like I need something nice and relaxing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I need my shower that s warm." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I felt like, wow, I m such a fucking loser." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t take a cold shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no willpower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no discipline." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a total boss babe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a loser because I can t take a cold shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t motivate to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to take a cold shower." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just simply don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t make sense for me in my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need that warm shower to make me feel good so that I can continue on with the rest of my day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The cold shower is in big rating and it does feel good when, you know, it s successfully done, but it just doesn t fit into my life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just doesn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I really used to feel guilty about it, but I don t anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also taken a lot of inspiration from others on how to eat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, as somebody who has an unfortunate relationship with food throughout my teen to adult life, my life thus far pretty much, this can be toxic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been toxic for me in the past." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going to talk about those instances." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to talk about the ones that actually" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "could have been helpful for me, but just simply weren t, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Meal prepping every meal for the entire week." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Earlier, I mentioned that meal prepping does work for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does, but not for every meal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I only meal prep one meal for the week, usually breakfast or lunch, and then maybe a snack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason for that is that I crave something different every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found that when I was meal prepping for the whole week, I would end up getting so bored of that situation that I d end up wanting to make something else anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like, what was the point?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s nice to have one meal covered, but I also like to have some flexibility." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, I want to have this for dinner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to have this for dinner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so meal prepping super strictly for the whole week just doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just doesn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, a lot of people swear by intermittent fasting for various reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people say that there s health benefits to it and I ve tried it and sometimes it works for me and it s what makes me feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it makes me feel terrible and I don t want to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then I don t and I will not do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen some benefits when it comes to my stomach pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of stomach pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do have IBS." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, giving my body longer to digest did sort of help my stomach a little bit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for that reason, I appreciate it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some days it s just like, I m hungry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to wait." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "until my eating windows start, like, no, I m not gonna do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m just not gonna do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I see the value in it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also had a really hard time throughout my life, honestly, finding a hobby that sticks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many people out there leading by example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve found peace in playing instruments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve found fulfillment in playing a certain sport." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They ve found passion in doing art." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve really tried to force myself to enjoy certain hobbies when they just aren t for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, long distance running." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw so many people just obsessed with long distance running, like marathon running and stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always wanted to do it and I ve sort of dipped my toe in for like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "few months here, a few months there, but I can t do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t want to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t want to do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why I want to do it is because it worked for other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made them happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made them feel fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t actually really need to run 30 miles." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t need to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same thing with playing instruments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I fucking, I love music so much." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I could play an instrument." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I honestly still might learn one day, but my God, throughout my life, I ve tried to learn how to play instruments and it just makes me miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m miserable when I m doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m miserable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I really wanted to learn drums." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the last few years, I ve been playing around with the drums and like, I can never stick to it because it just doesn t, like the process of learning it is not enjoyable for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to be good already." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to enjoy the process of learning something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, the beginning is tough, you know, and I think I ve yet to get over that hump with playing instruments specifically." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think learning to play an instrument is the hardest hobby to like get into because it s so frustrating in the beginning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m not sure I m fully done with that yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might still try that because I really do love music so much that I think that" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there s a chance that I might eventually love that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I have not gotten there yet and I ve been trying for so many years." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe I m not meant to play instruments." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m meant to sing, like who knows?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trying these hobbies that I don t enjoy doing just prevents me from finding a hobby that I ll enjoy learning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to enjoy the process of learning something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Earlier I mentioned how I take a lot of inspiration from how other people dress and how they use fashion to express themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "see it working on someone else, I m like, huh, maybe it ll work on me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes it does work on me and I adopt that and I make it my own and it works for me too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there have also been times when I ve tried to adopt what someone else is doing with their style and it hasn t worked for me, but it works for them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but it doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give some examples." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always felt the most me and the most comfortable in clothing that is a bit more, like I, okay, like I d rather dress cool than dress hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I ve always leaned more towards dressing cool than dressing hot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if I m trying to feel like a badass, I ve always leaned towards cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I feel the most comfortable in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not to say that I don t experiment in the hot world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, like sometimes, sometimes it s rare, but sometimes like there s, oops, there s a cleavage." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oops, there s a really short skirt or something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oops, like sometimes that s what feels good to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, love it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m feeling like a hot girl." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never do, unfortunately, but maybe one day I will." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Working on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yeah, sometimes that s what feels right to me and I ll do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for the most part, that doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I see it work for other people and I m like, I m jealous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "like leaning into like the hot vibe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s just not, sometimes it does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I m not saying it never does, but it doesn t make me feel like me ultimately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would rather try to dress cool." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what makes me feel like me most of the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve had phases throughout my life where I ve tried to, I ve tried to go like more hot girl mode and I ve had a lot of failures there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It works so well for some people that I was like, maybe that will work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I say work for me, I mean, make me feel good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make me feel like me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I want to get out of fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And those moments were necessary." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I was experimenting, but like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "just because a certain style works for somebody else doesn t mean it s going to work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because it makes them feel like the best version of themselves doesn t mean it s going to make you feel that way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve had that experience a lot with fashion, but mainly with that specific dilemma, like a cool vibe versus a hot vibe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re making a fashion statement, you re going either cool or hot, I feel like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What else is there?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are the only categories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, also how I mentioned earlier that I ve discovered a lot of workouts through what other people do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also discovered workouts that I hate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, so many people swear by reformer Pilates." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if you know what I m talking about, the reformer Pilates with the machine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s that type of Pilates and then there s like hot Pilates that s on the floor." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re on a floor and you re just literally in a very hot room and you re just doing" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pilates movements on like a mat like it s just like you holding a plank or like doing like a leg lift, you know That I love but like reformer Pilates like that doesn t work for me Like I want again, I want to be that girl, but I m not and it just doesn t work for me I don t like it and I ve wasted money trying to like it and I can t like it there s one class that I found that I do like and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that is somewhat of a reformer Pilate class." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But no, it s just not, again, it s not for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wasted time and money doing it to try to make it work for me when it just simply doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It works for other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There was a whole trend going around on the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where people were organizing their pantries in this very specific way, like super organized." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then the method was like, we re gonna put everything in clear acrylic containers with labels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s say there s cereal, right, in your pantry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Instead of just leaving the box in there, no, no, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re going to buy an acrylic box and put a label on it that says Rice Krispies, then you re going to put all your Rice Krispies in this acrylic box." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it looks so organized and so clean and so amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tried to do that in my pantry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did that in my pantry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I regretted it so much because I didn t think about this before, but I buy new things all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I go through new phases with food all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was constantly having to change the labels." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always didn t have the right amount of containers to store all my stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That works for somebody who literally eats the same thing every day and constantly is restocking the same thing in their pantry all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m all over the place." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m always buying new things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It did not work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even think about whether or not it would work for me before I did it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just saw that it worked for somebody else and that their pantry looked fucking amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, well, now I need to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I didn t need to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it didn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wasted a lot of, again, time and money on my pantry to be a certain way, because it really, really worked for somebody else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just ended up making me stressed out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ended up stressing me out, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because now it s like, okay, well, I regret my choice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but my God, this is a hard thing to undo, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last but not least, minimalism." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people, you know, wait, before you get mad at me, because I ve literally made a three-part series on minimalism, there is so much inspiration to be taken from the minimalist lifestyle, so much inspiration." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, the way that we look at our belongings, the way that we purchase things," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s endless amounts of value in that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I am so about taking the bits and pieces from the minimalist lifestyle that worked for me and adding them into my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And wow, I ve gotten a lot of value out of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being a full minimalist, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish I could." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I genuinely wish I could." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for a very brief period of time, I considered trying it, but it s not for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just, that s not for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I love fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve collected so many pieces over the years so that I can play around in my closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I were to shift to a full minimalist lifestyle, I d have to get rid of pretty much everything I own and simplify it to a uniform." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of me wants to do that, but I know that that would not bring me happiness because it makes me so happy to get dressed in the morning and have fun in my closet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a minimalist doesn t work for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also love decorating my house with lots of little fun little things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I was a minimalist," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would need to get rid of a lot of my shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of this shit actually does bring me a little bit of joy, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt really bad about myself for a while there being like, wow, like there s something wrong with me because I can t let go of my material items and be a minimalist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I thought about it more and I was like, no, you can take what you need from that philosophy and then you can have the things that you enjoy too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you don t need to," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "be a full minimalist to take what s valuable out of that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this is to say that there s nothing wrong with trying these things and realizing that they don t work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So often they re not gonna work." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What works for you, works for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what works for you might not work for someone else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what works for somebody else might not work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what works for somebody else might also work for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to try, and it s great to try." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should try everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think a lot of us feel a lot of guilt when it doesn t work out and we think that there s something wrong with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we keep pushing, trying to make this puzzle piece fit that won t fit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we end up wasting time doing something that we don t enjoy doing just because we ve convinced ourselves that it working for somebody else is proof that it ll work for us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s important to actively check in with yourself and see if the things that you re doing are actually working for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And not feeling discouraged when it s time to pivot, you know, and try something a little differently." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Accept who you are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Accept what works for you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, my morning routine, to some, is dysfunctional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, it s perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My meal prepping strategy is half-assed to some people." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, it s perfect." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about taking what works for you and leaving the rest behind with no apologies and focusing on finding the hobbies and habits and lifestyle choices that make your life feel the most balanced." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s really what it comes down to is balanced." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want your life to feel too easy, because it s good to be challenged." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s good to challenge yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you want it to feel balanced." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to make everything hard for yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find what areas make sense to make hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find what areas you need a bit more relaxation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only you know what s good for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really late for me right now when I m recording." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s 11.30 PM." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually very much past my bedtime." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I need to go to bed, but I really appreciate you all for listening and hanging out, and I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video is exclusive on Spotify though, so head to Spotify for video." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to chamberlaincoffee.com, and you can order coffee and tea and accessories and anything your heart desires." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not anything, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chamberlaincoffee.com is not Amazon.com, but there s a lot of fun stuff on there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can also go on the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can go pick it up in person." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you all tuning in and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always such a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re watching the video version of this episode right now, I know that you see that there s an untouched coffee on my nightstand right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, I did make myself a coffee for this just in case." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t drink it because deep down I knew better." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was there just in case." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, ChamberlainCoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to have good taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about good taste in food." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not talking about good taste in people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about good aesthetic taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to have good taste in art, music, interior design, fashion, movies, photography?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to have good taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I walk through an art gallery, I can determine, in my opinion, whether or not I think the art curator has good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, the art curator may not have my taste, but I have a sense that they have good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I see somebody walking down the street, I can tell whether or not they have good taste, in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they may not even have my taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But still I can tell that they have good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I almost get a gut reaction when I see something and I decide whether or not liking it is a sign of good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s complicated because I like some things that I think are in bad taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like there s some music that I like that I think is in bad taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t think it s actually good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s even movies that I don t think are good, but I like them anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So this leads to the question of today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to have good taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We put a lot of value on good taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I tend to be attracted to people romantically and platonically who I believe have good taste in things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I consider my taste to be a huge piece of my own identity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My aesthetic taste is a huge piece of my identity and I am biased, but I think I have good taste in stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a huge part of who I am and how I express myself to the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And although it s such a relevant topic in my life, I ve never investigated aesthetic taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is good taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does it even exist or is it so subjective that it doesn t exist?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not fully convinced that it doesn t exist, but we re going to go down the rabbit hole together and try to answer the question, what does it mean to have good taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with what aesthetic taste is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Taste is the most common trope when talking about the intellectual judgment of an object s aesthetic merit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To better understand this definition, let s also define aesthetic, concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So basically, taste, aesthetic taste," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is what we find beautiful and interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do humans develop their taste?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so mind blown when I started researching this that we have not figured out how we develop our tastes as human beings." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no salad answer like oh we re born with our taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We develop our taste as we grow up or it s a combination of the two they have yet to figure out how we develop our taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But some philosophers believe that our aesthetic tastes are innate, meaning we re born with them, though they re refined as we grow older and we re exposed to more aesthetic things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So our taste is literally deep, deep within us, and it s sort of unchangeable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re born with our minds made up on what we like and don t like, but our taste evolves as we grow older and we see more and we experience more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have some personal evidence for this theory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up, I had a very specific point of view when it came to what clothes my parents put on me or what movie they put into the DVD player or" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what music they played in the car on the way home from even preschool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like from a very young age, my parents have told me I knew what I liked and I knew what I didn t like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I was that young, I didn t have any bias." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s so much bias when you get older, because when you get older, you want to fit in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, I want to watch the movies that other kids think are cool or other adults think are cool at times, depending on what type of adult you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or I want to wear what other kids or adults think are cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to listen to the music that other kids or adults think are cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As you become more socially aware, you start to become more malleable and you start making decisions not just based on your own preference." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I was a child and I had no bias at all," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still had a very, very specific point of view." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I find that so interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, there were things that I liked that were actually kind of embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I used to love to wear Halloween costumes all year round." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had this dolphin costume, I believe it was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would just wear that around the house all year round." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it was up to me, I would have worn that to school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was probably around four or five years old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had no bias." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just what I liked." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I liked wearing the dolphin costume around the house." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was so picky about music, so picky, and so picky about movies and TV, so picky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And beyond that, like, my taste throughout my life has been so consistent in a weird way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The music that I liked as a young kid tracks so well with what I like now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The progression seems natural." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The types of clothing that I was attracted to as a child, again, there s like a natural path to where I m at now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, the dolphin costume, listen, I m not wearing a dolphin costume now, but I feel like that represents how I like to get dressed up and wear things that are more avant-garde." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m reaching." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might be reaching." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, making a connection there, I m kind of reaching." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, I don t know, as a kid, I also liked to wear tutus and, like, sparkly red shoes and lots of jewelry and lots of accessories." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, as an adult, I m very much that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My favorite movie as a kid was Coraline." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve grown up enjoying movies very similar to Coraline, movies with a similar intensity," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "movies with a similar aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see that connection and I still love that movie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also weirdly loved Hot Topic as a kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I loved going into Hot Topic because I had a little goth streak in me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a little goth streak in me and it s funny because I never dressed like it but I always had it in me and that s followed me throughout my life too where I do have like a little dark goth vibe in me but it s very mild and it only comes out sometimes but that s been very consistent throughout my life as well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, am I reaching a little bit?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I look at my whole life and my aesthetic taste throughout my whole life, it s just been so consistent to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the evolution has been so seamless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t mean that I ve liked the same things my whole life, but rather each phase that I ve had has felt like a proper stepping stone to the next thing in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there have been some drastic changes in taste, but in my brain, it still kind of makes sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In retrospect, any aesthetic preferences that I had that don t track with who I am to my core now were aesthetic preferences that I had to try to fit in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s the outlier." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I wouldn t even count that as being my taste because it wasn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It wasn t my taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the taste of the people around me and I was copying it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was forced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So anything that does not" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "makes sense in the general evolution of my aesthetic taste was not my own taste." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I, I m kind of sold on that theory, but there s another theory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some philosophers believe that we re born a blank slate completely and our aesthetic senses are learned over time through our personal experiences." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in our exposure to aesthetic things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a little bit of a harder time with this one, but I do also have some personal evidence to back up this one as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My taste very closely resembles my dad s taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My dad showed me a lot of music, a lot of movies, a lot of fashion, a lot of art growing up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And him and I do have very similar tastes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what confuses me is that I don t like everything that my dad likes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of music that my dad showed me growing up that I liked, but there s also a lot that I didn t like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Same thing with art, same thing with movies, same thing with everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we still disagree on things all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another thing that confuses me is that my mom also showed me music and movies, not as much art." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, my dad is an artist, so that s why I saw art with him, but my mom didn t show me art, but music, movies," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "interior design with her because she s very into interior design." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have a little bit of overlap, but I would argue we have very different tastes in almost everything." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was equally exposed to aesthetic things from my mom and dad, but I did not ever align with my mom s tastes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it just like, it doesn t make sense because in my own personal life, I just don t see as much evidence for this theory that we re blank slates." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, I think if anything, it s kind of a combination of the two, but I m leaning towards the first theory, which is that we re sort of born with our taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so now that we have discovered virtually nothing, because nobody really knows how we develop our taste, let s try to figure out if good taste even exists." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it even a real thing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because taste is subjective." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s opinion-based." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody interprets and perceives things differently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Therefore, taste is arguably not even real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a figment of our imagination." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not tangible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all in our silly little brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, I don t really feel comfortable with saying that taste doesn t exist because it does exist." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so relevant in day-to-day life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, technically it doesn t exist because it s not tangible and it s not real, but it plays such a big role." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in so many things that we do in life that it feels wrong to say that it s not a legitimate thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some argue that good taste does exist though." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there is also an argument for good taste existing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good taste is taste that is unbiased, well-practiced, and properly exercised through experience." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s really dive into that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unbiased, meaning you re not listening to your friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not listening to the media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You genuinely like something and find it beautiful because you do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We so often like something because other people like it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, my entire identity in middle school was built of what everybody else thought was cool and good and great, not what I thought was cool and good and great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even now, when I spend time around certain people, I start to like the things that they like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes that s genuine, but sometimes it s not." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really hard to be completely unbiased in life because there s a whole lot of noise telling us what to like, what to not like, what s cool to like, what s not cool to like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A person with good taste also has well-practiced and properly exercised taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "meaning they know what the fuck they re talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they have good taste in music, it s because they listen to a lot of music." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe they studied music." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody who has good taste in clothing has done a fuck ton of research on fashion, looks at fashion magazines all the time, reads fashion books all the time, is making Pinterest boards all the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody who knows a lot about fashion" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "somebody who has good taste in art, knows a lot about art, maybe makes art themselves, you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to have good taste in something if you have not involved yourself in that art form." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for example, I don t know if I have good taste in movies because I haven t watched a lot of movies in my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think my taste in movies is very heavily tied to my taste in everything else and my taste in a lot of other things are more developed so maybe my taste in movies is," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "better because of that, but I m not a movie connoisseur, so I can t walk around saying I have great taste in movies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, maybe I would if I started watching them more, but I wouldn t feel comfortable telling people I had good taste in movies because I just don t watch movies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So ultimately we ve determined nothing, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we don t even really know if taste exists." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it does, but because it s so subjective, it s up for debate kind of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s even more tricky because good taste can look different for everyone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many different ways to have good taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like one specific aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not one specific style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I mentioned earlier, when I see something tasteful, I can point it out even when it s not my taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I feel like what I see is something that s thoughtful, something that s personal, something that s creative and unique, something that s genuine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And weirdly something that s humble, like those are the consistent qualities that are present when I think something is tasteful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give some examples of tasteful things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion, in my opinion, when I see somebody walking down the street and they re wearing a tasteful outfit," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That usually means that they re wearing something that they clearly put a lot of time into putting together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a cohesive color scheme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a cohesive theme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe there s a lot of intricate little accessories." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it matches their personality really well like you re watching them walk down the street in their outfits matches them perfectly and you re like wow that is so cool you know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t look like a carbon copy of something else that you ve seen before it feels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a little fresh and a little new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might have bits and pieces from pop culture or whatever, but it still feels fresh." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say tasteful music can be anything that hits a nerve." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes you feel something deep because the way that it was composed or the lyrics that were put along with it," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are so real and so true and so genuine that it just hits a nerve." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It hits a nerve and it gives you that feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know that feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all know that feeling that we get when we hear a song and it just fucking hits and we don t know why and we don t know what it is and it just makes us feel a certain type of way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But like there s definitely music that I enjoy that to me is not tasteful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t hit that nerve the same way, but it s fun." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I enjoy it still, but it s like there s a difference there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I walk into somebody s house and it s decorated in a way that s truly comfortable and livable while still being inspiring to the person living in it, that s good taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think tasteful home decor balances comfort with aesthetic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is a truly tasteful home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something that s comfortable and livable, yet something that says something about the person living there, that has a thoughtful color scheme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I keep hesitating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, this is what s so hard about this topic is that it s so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "subjective, like you can t put a finger on it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So me even saying like, has a thoughtful color scheme, it s like, yeah, maybe, but somebody can have really good taste and literally have no color scheme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, it s hard to put a finger on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I personally think about what is tasteful to me," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are the things that I think of." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These are the through lines across all the different things that could possibly be good taste in my eyes anyway, but it s so hard to put a finger on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s discuss popular opinion versus good taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like we would assume that if something was popular among human beings, that it s tasteful, it s in good taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in my opinion, enjoying what s trending, popular, widely enjoyed, an example being like Taylor Swift or Picasso, isn t necessarily good or bad taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like something s popularity has nothing to do with whether or not it s tasteful, in my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the only way to judge if something is tasteful is to strip away all of its value in society and then to judge it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How would this song be if no one else had ever listened to it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would I think of this art piece if no one else had ever seen it?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would I think of this clothing piece?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "if no one else had ever worn it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s the only way to judge any kind of art to determine whether or not it s tasteful, at least in your opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of popular things that are really bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Popular movies, popular music, popular art even." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bad, it can be really fucking bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can also be really, really, really fucking good and it s popular for a reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, again, I m calling it bad, but that s just my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, oh God, it is just my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Geez." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, a lot of people share that opinion with me, but still, it s just our opinion, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Things can become popular for a number of reasons because there are some people out there whose taste consists of mainly popular things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some people would argue that that s having bad taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that that s having bad taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that s just having taste that is not yet developed because what else is there to like other than popular things if you don t have any interest in digging around on the internet" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and digging around in the library and digging around in galleries to develop your taste more, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of times popular things tend to be more simple and more digestible in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not polarizing or weird or unusual or" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As challenging and that s why they re mainstream because they can appeal to a wide audience in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that puts people off who have more developed taste in things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, popular stuff is fucking lame and fucking boring and too easy to understand and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could never be good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it s mainstream, it s not good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And as much as I do think that it s true that mainstream things tend to be more simple, that doesn t necessarily mean that they re always bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can they be mad?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I don t think that popularity and tastefulness are related." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would argue, that s my opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that they re related because there are so many things that are not mainstream that are incredibly tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many things that are not mainstream that are not tasteful at all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many things that are mainstream that are tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t think that there s a relationship there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s discuss the relationship between taste" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and money." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Good taste and wealth are often confused, and I think it s because there s some overlap." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pierre Bourdieu, a French philosopher known for his book Distinction, a Social Critique of the Judgment of Taste, was one of many to note that good taste was merely a way of society s ruling class to separate themselves from those less powerful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weaponizing good taste is not hard to do because number one, the more money you have to buy excess in life and art and aesthetic things tend to be excessive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re usually not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "necessity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wealthy people can afford to buy clothes that aren t functional but are just tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can afford to buy a really crazy piece of art that s super expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And though many expensive things are very tasteful," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also a lot of expensive things that are not tasteful, in my opinion, but that s why it s confusing because there are a lot of tasteful things that are expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it s easy to think of good taste and just think of expensive things, but" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a firm believer that once again, those two things are not connected." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I do think that to an extent, money is necessary to express your taste to the world, to buy certain clothes, to buy or even make art." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think music tends to be more fair game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does cost a bit of money to express your taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, expressing your taste is different than the taste that you have inside you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of what we re talking about." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is good taste?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to have good taste?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And just because you re wealthy and you can afford this, this, and that, and you can express your taste as loudly as you want, it doesn t mean you have good taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t mean the things that you re selecting" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "are good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re just expensive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they might be good, but they might not be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "somebody who does not make as much money but has good taste might thrift an outfit that looks phenomenal and is so tasteful and might make art that is incredible, might even buy art from their friends for like 15 bucks and it s incredible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it makes sense to me why good taste and wealth get confused" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we ve all watched those architectural digest tours, house tours that are just fucking hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The house is $150 million." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The decor is hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The whole design, hideous, hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, some might argue that we who cannot afford a $150 million house could never understand the taste that is present in this home because we just don t get it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m not so fucking sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry, I m not so fucking sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because in some of those homes, I m just like, I can t even see a world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even see a world where this is tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t understand it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is every single piece in that home expensive?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But is it tasteful?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I read the comments and no one else thinks it s tasteful either." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think people automatically assume that expensive things are tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so they sort of blindly purchase these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They buy a piece of art because it s a million dollars." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They buy this furniture collection because it s $5 million." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they don t really know if it s good or not, but somebody told them it was, so now they re buying it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or they kind of like it, but they know that it s a status symbol and that s really why they re buying it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t get it sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, there are $150 million homes out there that are fucking gorgeous and tasteful and incredible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve watched those house tours too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And yeah, maybe there is a $5 million furniture set in there and maybe there is a million dollar piece of art in there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More often than not i find i m shocked by what i perceive to be the lack of taste in things that are incredibly expensive i mean even when i m." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Online looking at designer clothing i m like what is half of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the hell is this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a $5,000 jacket and I find it to be hideous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would rather go to the thrift store, buy something for $3 that actually is cool and tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not cool and tasteful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, maybe I just, maybe I personally just don t understand certain things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve seen a bit of chatter online about how wealthy people tend to have bad taste." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I have noticed the same thing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not always true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s absolutely not always true, but I see it a lot." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wonder if it s because in order to become a multi multi" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "millionaire, maybe even a billionaire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to spend so much time working towards making that money." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have any time to explore aesthetics." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have time to explore art." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have time to explore music." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have time to explore fashion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re so wrapped up in making that money that you don t have time to do anything else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve also theorized that some people who have had money their entire lives had never had to question it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "have been able to get whatever they want their whole lives, have never had a reason, a deep emotional reason to explore the arts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I m not talking about all people who grew up wealthy, but I think maybe growing up wealthy, you just develop a taste for just things that are simply expensive, not necessarily for things that" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are deeply tasteful maybe there s not a desire to go and explore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fashion because you re like well i don t need to look any further than my favorite designer stores." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not how you develop your taste you develop your taste by." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "looking everywhere, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not just expensive stores, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, there are a lot of very wealthy people with very good taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s not necessarily, but I have noticed also that there does seem to be something interesting happening there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do we develop our taste?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we hopefully develop good taste?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although I m going back and forth on whether or not I believe good taste is a real thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really bothering me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And no one does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People much smarter than me have not decided whether or not good taste or taste at all exists." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something that we have to deal with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something that we have to remember when we re falling asleep tonight." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what it really comes down to is exposing yourself to as much as you can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more that you expose yourself to aesthetic things, the more your taste develops." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s that simple." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just have to go out there and experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And through those experiences, your taste will develop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would recommend to look everywhere." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen to pop music." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen to random music that has no streams." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen to everything that you can find." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go down weird rabbit holes on Pinterest and find cool fashion stuff." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Buy vintage magazines, fashion magazines." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look through those." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch a fuck ton of movies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ones that have good ratings, ones that have bad ratings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ones that have 10,000 views, ones that have 50 million views." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you want to develop your taste in a category, just consume as much of it as you can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think it s important to remember that it doesn t cost money necessarily to develop your taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in fact, I think taste develops much more organically and genuinely when money is not involved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going into a thrift store and putting together a tasteful outfit can cost 10 bucks, but it develops your taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can expose yourself to these things using books, using the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never been easier to develop your taste, if that s something you want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never been easier and more accessible, I d argue." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because of the internet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think as long as your taste is unbiased, genuine, and based on a good amount of exposure and knowledge and experience, chances are you probably have good taste, or at least you have developed taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m starting to feel like there s no such thing as good or bad taste, but rather developed and underdeveloped taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I feel like saying something s good or bad that s subjective is, I don t know, it doesn t, it doesn t feel right to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels kind of wrong." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels mean." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you re always hurting somebody s feelings." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think you can still hurt somebody s feelings by calling their taste underdeveloped, but it s less insulting to me because it s like, I will admit the areas that I have underdeveloped taste, like movies being a great example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is less hard to say for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels much less good to say I have bad taste in movies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because I don t know if I do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, bad?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, really?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ouch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That hurts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Underdeveloped, I think, is more accurate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have a lot of knowledge there, simply put." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like people s interests tend to be consistent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if you listen to this type of music, you probably like this type of movie." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you like that type of movie, you probably like this type of interior design." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you like this type of interior design, you ll probably like this type of clothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like these things all go hand in hand weirdly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And most people fit into some sort of aesthetic category, like based on their taste." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that makes the plot thicken." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That thickens the plot for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we do seem to be sort of broken up based on our aesthetic preferences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, most people sort of fit into a category." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is good taste?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My conclusion is I don t fucking know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s actually sort of a relief in a way, because I know I have put pressure on myself throughout my life to have good taste in things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the end of the day, it doesn t really exist." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just need to like the things that I like because I fucking like them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to make those decisions based on what is beautiful and exciting and intriguing to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s really no right answer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And all I can do is work on developing my taste if that s something I want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I end up liking and disliking seems to be not up to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like what my brain just chooses to enjoy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think when you honor the things that you enjoy, then your life becomes more gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was a really challenging topic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re curious about something, try to teach yourself about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might end up even more confused than when you started looking into it, but it s always good to try." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you ll learn something about yourself, if nothing else, along the way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you hated it, totally cool with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just wait until next episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you ll like that one better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s new episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So come and hang out if that s something that you want to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can follow anything goes on Instagram and anything goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anything goes anywhere you get podcasts, but videos exclusive on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me at Emma Chamberlain on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee on chamberlaincoffee.com or chamberlaincoffee on Instagram." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can order our stuff online or use the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go pick something up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coffee, matcha, cute accessories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The sky s the limit really." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really appreciate you all and I m just so grateful that you decided to come hang out with me today and I hope that you had fun and I really hope to see you soon and I just love and appreciate you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": null, "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had my first fashion identity crisis at the end of high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes sense why, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In high school, I m wearing skinny jeans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing UGG boots." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing Converse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing Vans." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing a Hollister t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing a PacSun beanie." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing cringy, weird sunglasses." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m dressing like a high schooler." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that I left high school, I had a crisis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because what s cool in high school is not really cool in the real world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re in high school, you re in a little bubble, and keeping up with the trends is much easier in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of the people that you could ever copy are right in front of you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In high school, I was starting to become exposed to the fashion world outside of my school because of Instagram, but it hadn t quite seeped into my personal life because I was more focused on being trendy at my school and within my community." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second that I left school, everything changed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t go to college." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the second that I left high school, my community was now the real world and the internet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s cool and what s trendy is completely different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I had sort of a crisis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it wasn t a negative crisis, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it was unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was more of an epiphany." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I wanna get into fashion more in a real world type of way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I started thrifting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started heavily Pinteresting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started developing my personal style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I successfully did that, although it did take years and years and years and years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had that initial epiphany, like, wait a minute, I need to change everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it took years to implement into my actual life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "After my initial epiphany, I really reinvented my style, like full 180." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then once things sort of settled down and I kind of had a sense of personal style and I had a wardrobe that fit me, you know, it like fit my personal style," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The style evolution from there was very gradual." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was consistent over time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There were no extreme shifts, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, if you were to look at my closet five years ago and now, it looks completely different." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the process of getting it from five years ago to now has been very gradual, like pieces have just naturally come and go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I haven t hit a point where I ve wanted to reinvent again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to be honest, I never thought I would." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I assumed that for the rest of my life, I would have this sort of gradual evolution of my personal style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but apparently I was wrong because recently I found myself in another fashion identity crisis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really thought it would never happen again, but wow, was I wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there were some signs that it was coming, but I still didn t see it coming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I ve been wearing strictly gold jewelry for years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I wear silver jewelry sometimes, but in my personal life, like it s gold jewelry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then recently I shifted back to silver jewelry in my personal life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m only wearing silver jewelry." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was sort of weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, why am I gravitating towards silver jewelry?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I never wear silver jewelry anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I ve been talking about how much I appreciate minimalistic clothing design and simple clothing design and more timeless clothing design." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve sort of been dipping my toe into that space after years and years of definitely not wearing that type of clothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say my style" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "over the last few years has been loud and bright and kitschy and much more playful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so starting to lean into more minimal designs was kind of new for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something exploded in my brain and I realized that I want to change everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to change my entire style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when I talk about my style, I m talking about my personal style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what I wear on a day-to-day basis, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I go to a fashion show or a fashion event or something like that, I m playing dress up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of a reflection of my personal style, but it s an excuse to play dress up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it definitely represents a part of me, but it s not my personal style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like my personal style is like what I wear to the grocery store, what I wear to get my nails done, what I wear when I m going out to dinner with friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what I realized was I m an adult now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to elevate my style a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to mature my style a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is not rooted in a desire to look older or to feel older or anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a natural desire, I think, to mature what I m wearing to represent the maturing that I m experiencing in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m not shitting on my old style because I clearly love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I align with it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like I m saying, no, that shit s ugly now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to do a major revamp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just ready." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m ready for a big shift across the board." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s so interesting about it is that even though there were subtle signs that this was coming, I didn t necessarily see it coming in this big of a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I swear I woke up one day and I was like, everything needs to change and I know exactly what I want to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I thought it would be easy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m much more experienced with fashion now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m much more experienced in experimenting with clothes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I thought that shifting my style over would be easy, but I forgot how hard it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a fucking bitch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a challenge." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you make the choice to change your style," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a whole journey." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m actually at the beginning of my journey right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve barely even scratched the surface." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a lot of work to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re someone who s into fashion, this is exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, this is exciting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited about this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m also a little bit overwhelmed, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s really overwhelming." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whether you re into fashion or not, you re probably going to experience a time in your life where you want to change up your style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even if you re not somebody who uses fashion as a way to express yourself, you still will find yourself at periods in your life where you want to change your style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today I wanted to discuss how to change your style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna give you a checklist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna give you the full lowdown." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is what you gotta do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is how you change your style in a way that s efficient, smart, responsible, and effective." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step one, figure out the root cause of this shift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I explained earlier, the reason why I wanna make this shift is because I m growing up, I m starting to feel like an adult, and I m starting to feel more mature, and I want my clothing to express that a little bit more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I m obsessed with outfits that are truly timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love that challenge, putting together an outfit that won t look cringe in 30 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m obsessed with that challenge and I want to create a wardrobe that is timeless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are many great reasons why you may want to shift" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your style could be growing up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be a new budding interest in fashion for the first time in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be a major shift in your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re moving cities and you re experiencing a new sort of community and they have sort of a different style." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you just went through a breakup and you want to reinvent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s totally hot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A major life shift can really make you feel inspired." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think a fashion identity crisis can come naturally as your taste evolves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more that you consume fashion, the more that you see fashion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the stronger that your taste becomes and sometimes as our taste develops it goes through like a major shift." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there are many valid reasons why you may want to change up your style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are also some potentially iffy reasons to change your style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now hear me out because you can do whatever the fuck you want and you know that already." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But changing your style is a financial and time investment, and you wanna make sure that you re doing it responsibly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are some reasons that may not be as responsible, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you start hanging around some new people and you wanna fit in with them, listen, you could make some new friends and they just genuinely inspire you and open your eyes to new things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In that case, it s not necessarily irresponsible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you want to change your style just to fit in with this friend group, that you might regret down the line." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might not stand the test of time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That might be slightly irresponsible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, another invalid reason, something goes viral online and suddenly you re like, well, I need to participate in that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you, viral trends are not always bad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not always irresponsible to follow because something being trendy and viral doesn t necessarily" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "speak to its quality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I compare it to pop music, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people say pop music is trash, like all pop music is trash because it s popular and it s easy to digest and it s not super complicated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a lot of pop music that s really fucking good and deep and thoughtful and profound." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It exists" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just because something s popular doesn t mean it s of low quality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The same thing goes for viral trends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes something going viral can just expose you to it for the first time and you like it genuinely to your core and you re not just blinded by the virality of it in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of times we see something going viral and we just" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "want to be a part of it for some reason, I think we just need to make sure that we re not changing our whole style because of a few viral trends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s like the virality of a trend is so short." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something becomes viral and is irrelevant in two weeks, if not a week, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you want to make sure that you re making a choice that s ultimately based on your taste." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did that rhyme?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the last potentially sketchy reason is you re trying to distract yourself from something else going on in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re going through a tough time in life, we can find the most fascinating coping mechanisms." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes changing up your appearance is a coping mechanism." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem with it is when your moment of pain and discomfort is over, are you going to regret changing up your look?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And are you going to kind of want to go back to normal?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of people when they go through a breakup or something will give themselves a haircut or get a new tattoo and later maybe be like, hmm, why don t I do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s important to figure out the root cause so that you can ensure that you re making the right decision because the steps that follow are intense, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re intense." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s time, money, all of these things involved." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to make sure you re making the right choice." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step two, major research phase." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to study fashion like you re studying for the SAT or some other challenging and arguably important standardized test." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you have to make mood boards." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go on Pinterest or you need to find magazines and you need to make mood boards, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to figure out what the vibe is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s valuable about making a mood board is that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you ll start to see patterns." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Recently, I ve been doing a lot of mood boarding as I m going through a style shift myself, and I ve been noticing that there s a lot of black clothing on my Pinterest boards." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never been somebody who wore a lot of black" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apparently, I need to pick up some more black pieces of clothing because this is something that I m apparently now into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a key detail, but there are so many things that you re going to notice as you start mood boarding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to realize, wow, there s a lot of brown leather details going on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of gold details going on here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really like a 70s vibe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m apparently loving" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the 70s are, oh, wow, I m kind of going in a preppy direction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s like dress pants and there s like collared shirts and there s sweaters and I m kind of going a preppy direction." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll start to see patterns and these patterns will allow you to shop smarter when that step comes down the line." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you only put a blazer on your mood board once, then maybe you shouldn t buy a blazer yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you put 10 collared shirts on your mood board, maybe you need to pick up a few more collared shirts." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like doing a subconscious poll in your mind, but also on your mood board, figuring out what you like the most, what you should go out and buy, what are key pieces in your new style, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what are those key pieces?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a classic pair of jeans?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a pair of black dress pants?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are your new wardrobe backbones, vertebrae?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think, more than anything, it just helps you solidify your own idea of what your new style is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helps paint that picture for you, quite literally, in the form of a mood board." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on top of that, you should follow fashionable people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You should go walk around in stores that you like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just absorb as much fashion as possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more you expose yourself to clothes, the better understanding you ll have about how you want to reinvent your own style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next step, before you even go shopping, you gotta do a closet clean out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You gotta do it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now for some of us, this is terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for some of us, this is fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is therapeutic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is enjoyable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hate cleaning out my closet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like to be honest, I hate it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is therapeutic in some ways, but it uses too much brain power almost to be therapeutic for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like organizing something that s a little bit more self-explanatory." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Going through my closet and figuring out what I want to get rid of, it s like an emotional battle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, but I wore that to my first meeting in Los Angeles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means something to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Shut the fuck up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Get rid of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re never going to wear it again." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, oh, I only got to wear that a few times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like I didn t love it enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Somebody else will love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re going to donate it somewhere where somebody else will get" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "way more use out of it and will love it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop keeping things you don t need." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, imagine me in my closet doing that for like two, three hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hell for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I hate it, but it s a crucial part of this journey because number one, you need to make space for the new stuff." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s obvious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But number two, I think a big part of changing your style is fully immersing yourself in that experience" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something so incredible about going to a closet with only pieces that you adore." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would rather walk into a closet with one shirt, one pair of pants, and one jacket that I am obsessed with than walk into a closet with 50 shirts, 50 pants, 50 jackets that I m not that into." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s absolutely quality over quantity when it comes to what s in your closet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "1000%." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need to have a closet packed full of new clothes to change your style." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could literally buy a few new things and then keep a few old things that still fit your new vibe and have a full new wardrobe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need a full closet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t need that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just want to have only things that you are really truly going to wear consistently." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth is when you go in and do your closet clean out, you re going to find things that will easily" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "transfer over to your new style, especially basics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a button-up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a white tank top." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a white t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a black t-shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a black pair of pants." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s your favorite pair of jeans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of things that are going to seamlessly carry over, but there are definitely going to be a lot of things, especially more trend-heavy things, that are going to go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so now that you ve made your mood boards, you ve studied fashion, and you ve cleaned out your closet, it s time to make a list, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to make a list." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Start with your mood board, figure out what are key pieces for your new style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s use an example, preppy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think of preppy, I think you need a really solid collared shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a really solid sweater." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need a really solid pleated skirt, maybe one that s like longer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so it s more wearable for day-to-day, like one that maybe goes to like mid-calf." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need some scrunchie socks, maybe ones that have little lines on them, like the little stripes on them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you need a loafer or a boat shoe or something like that, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make a list of all the things you need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, look in your closet, see what you already have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cross out the stuff you already have." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well, I already have three great sweaters." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to go out and buy a new sweater." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "These sweaters will work perfectly for my new style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cross it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually already have a really great collared shirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to buy that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t have a pleated skirt and I don t have the loafers and I don t have the socks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, well now you know what you need." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the key when shifting your style is to start out by buying the basics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the building blocks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to start out buying crazy statement pieces that are unwearable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, let s say you want to start dressing a little bit more vampy, grungy punk." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to go shopping and buy a massive, heavy," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "leather trench coat that has spikes all over it immediately because you re not going to wear that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What you do want to go by is a black turtleneck, my love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to go buy a black turtleneck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to go buy a black skirt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to go buy black boots." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you have building blocks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d be shocked at what you can do with just the basics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about how you do your makeup, how you style your hair, how you accessorize things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can really get the ball rolling with just the basics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s safest to start there because when it comes to building a wardrobe, it takes time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like collecting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can scour through the internet all day and all night and you might not find things that really, really, truly speak to you and excite you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes it takes going to vintage stores every weekend for a month to find pieces that speak to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t want to rush that process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to take your time and collect things as you find them because that s how you create a wardrobe that you re excited about, that feels really true to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you rush that process, you end up creating a wardrobe filled with items that are disposable in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They don t connect with you on a deeper level, so you re not really attached to them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then you just end up not wearing them and getting rid of them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then it s like, what a waste, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next step, you have all the basics down." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re working on collecting some pieces that are special, maybe a little bit more statement, but that s a process and you know that and you re being patient." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re leaning into your hair and makeup to sort of elevate the vibe, sort of bring the whole thing together." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s time to start playing with accessories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go have fun with the accessories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because as you re building this collection of pieces," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need something in the meantime." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need something to hold you over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s where accessories come in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because accessories are much more affordable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They are much more versatile while still packing a punch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like one pair of sunglasses can be worn 10 different ways and feel different in every single way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, not every pair of sunglasses, but I think it s important to play with accessories because it s almost like a safe little playground." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also much easier to find because you don t have to worry about size as much with these items." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can go to a thrift store, for example, and find so many incredible options, great price, and you re not sifting through the racks trying to find your size." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think that accessories are a great place to play." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And accessories really take your style to the next level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the clothing itself is one thing, but you could just wear basics every day and style yourself all the way with the accessories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that could be your style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is absolutely a style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think as you re building your wardrobe and as that takes a lot of time, you re really having fun with the accessories and you re really leaning into the accessories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next step, do a little check-in, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How are you feeling?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are things going the way you want them to go?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you feeling like yourself playing around with this new style?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do a check-in and be honest with yourself because it s better to figure out that it s not working sooner rather than later." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is a process." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a process that takes months and months and months and months." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s almost like a hobby, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "think of styling myself as a hobby in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It takes a lot of time for some of us because if you re really into fashion, it s collecting, it s researching, it s understanding yourself, it s all of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re making a less passionate shift, you know, maybe you re changing jobs and you just kind of want to shift your style to fit your new job a bit better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like these steps still all apply, don t get me wrong, but it s different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might not take as long, you know, like there s a bit less self-discovery in that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a bit more of a manual for that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like you can just look and see what the people at your next job are wearing and sort of start there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a bit more guidance in that type of situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when it s less emotional, less of a hobby, less of a form of expression." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s more of a necessary shift due to your circumstances in life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s how you do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how you change your style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might be thinking, Emma, this is obvious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, if it is, sorry, genius." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, mommy only has so much to offer." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like I m not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not made of ideas over here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not fucking Einstein." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a retired YouTuber." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you expect from me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not that I m retired." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I, who knows?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what my future holds." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not, I m not actually, I don t know if that s true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t get mad at me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m excited to shift up my style because I really feel like things are about to get interesting for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, things are about to get a little bit darker, a little bit vampier for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing the silver jewelry." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m kind of in that vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m wearing a lot of silver and black and maroon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I can see it in my head, but I still have more work to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m currently in the stage where I m doing the mood boards and I m cleaning out my closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my God, do I have a journey ahead of me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll see how it goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But Emma s personal style is shifting and it s going to be interesting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s exciting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think when you get the inspiration to shift your style, it s sort of the beginning of a new chapter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of beautiful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m excited to see what my brain does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we will see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I hope that this was somehow helpful to someone out there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just appreciate you hanging out, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, come on, don t we just have the best time?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this episode, tune in Thursdays and Sundays." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen to Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch Anything Goes exclusively on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might be in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So check out our store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if not, just order us online, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I love and appreciate all of you and I ll be talking to you soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So don t forget about me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you can actually, you can totally forget." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is absolutely" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, you should forget." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s totally okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me rephrase." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later, maybe, if you want, and you can also forget about me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I love and appreciate all of you, and I can t wait to talk to you soon, if you want to talk soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, love you." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember when I was about 12 years old, I read a quote by John Lennon, and this quote changed my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me share the quote with you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "John Lennon said, when I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wrote down happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They told me I didn t understand the assignment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I told them they didn t understand life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whoa, that s deep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "12-year-old me was like, oh shit, oh shit, that s deep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that, that s good." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, John Lennon, that s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s ever said it so clearly like you just did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life, the pursuit of happiness." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, wow, wow, wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, that s deep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you want to know what I did?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I stole that quote and started to use it as though it was my own." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "From that point forward, anytime anyone would ask me, Emma, what do you want to be when you grow up?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would answer happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For the last 10 years, I have answered that question" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the same without fail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve just been happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think part of me stole the quote because I was like, wow, this sounds profound." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This makes me sound like a genius who has life all figured out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think I stole the quote because it was true to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really care, and I never really have, about what my life looks like in the future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that might sound dark and depressing, but it s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not too particular about what my life looks like 10 years from now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I vaguely know what I want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to be successful in my career." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to hopefully start a family one day, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m flexible and I ve sort of always been that way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just flexible about what the future looks like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve always been sort of stumped when people ask me that question because I ve always just taken things day by day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To this day, I m like that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the hell my life is going to look like in five years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have no idea what I m going to be doing, career-wise and otherwise." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s okay with me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "take it day by day and I see what life throws at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like that now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been like that for a long time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this quote from John Lennon really resonated with me because it gave me an answer to a question that I ve always struggled to answer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to be honest, that s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t really care what my future looks like." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But recently someone asked me what I wanted my life to look like in 10 years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually get asked that question a lot for some reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I wanted to say my usual answer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just want to be happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But before I said it, I had this epiphany." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, hold on a minute." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never taken a step back and been like, why the hell am I saying that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And do I even mean that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what does that even mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On paper, yeah, it totally makes sense." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody wants to be happy, but is that empty?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that simplifying life in a way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is a happy life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What even is that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of us would assume a happy life is being happy almost all the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But is that a good life?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that a life well lived?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is that a life where you re sheltered?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we have to experience negative emotions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to have an existential crisis a little bit about striving for a happy life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I started to realize I might have it all wrong, or maybe I just don t know what a happy life is and I need to investigate that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so today I thought we would investigate happiness because it s a word that we use so often that we feel like we know what it means and we feel like we know how to get it, but we rarely take a minute to step back and be like, what actually is this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we actually acquire this feeling?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often are we supposed to feel this feeling?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there such a thing as too much of this feeling?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s investigate it together today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start out with what happiness is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Researchers have failed to pin down an exact definition." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that is clue number one to how complicated happiness is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oxford English Dictionary s definition of happiness is so disappointing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The state of being happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is so offensive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s, it s an offensively bad definition, but I did look up the definition of happy, which is feeling or showing a deep sense of pleasure or contentment arising from satisfaction with one s circumstances or condition." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I think of happiness in my own life, I think of the times when I m relaxed, I m comfortable, I m safe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My anxiety is to a minimum." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t feel like there s anything going on in the peripheral that s unattended to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel in control of everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like everything s going all right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Challenges may come up, but they re" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Satisfying to solve." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m taking care of myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone around me is healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m healthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, when I think of happiness in my own life, I think of no stress, comfort." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think of low stress and comfort, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To dig a little deeper into what happiness is, let s look at the recipe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the recipe?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "According to Dr. Rankin Chatterjee, you can picture core happiness as a three-legged stool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Each of the legs is separate but essential." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If one of them is knocked away, your feelings of happiness will probably collapse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, contentment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feeling content means being at peace with your life and your decisions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two, control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being in control means feeling that nothing within reason has the power to overwhelm you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three, alignment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feeling aligned means that the person that you want to be and the person that you are actually being out there in the world are one in the same." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We often misunderstand what happiness truly is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a state of mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not a trait that somebody consistently has." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like a consistent personality trait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times we look at our friends or our family that seem happier than us and we say, they re just happy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re just a happy person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That doesn t really exist because happiness is not a trait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s an emotion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a feeling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always fleeting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emotions are always fleeting because there s always a new emotion coming in to replace it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people experience happiness more than others, but ultimately we re all blank slates and we can t be characterized by an emotion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is sort of promising because I ve gone through phases in my life where I ve been very negative and I started to believe like, Oh, I m a negative person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a sad person, but nobody s a negative person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody s a sad person because those feelings are not permanent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re not ingrained in who you are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are emotions that come and go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, there are people who have more negative emotions, more sad emotions than others, but ultimately we re all blank canvases." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re so dynamic." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We feel so many different emotions on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we have the power to change the way that we see the world so that we feel more of one emotion, if that s what we want, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another misconception about happiness" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is that it s joy, it s ecstasy, it s bliss, it s intense, it s a high." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not happiness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happiness is pleasure and contentment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much more stable of an emotion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Joy is much more extreme, much more vivid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happiness is much more calm." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it s important to know that there s a difference between happiness and joy because if we mistake the two and we think that happiness is joy, then we re going to feel like we re not very happy people because joy and bliss and ecstasy," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is far more rare and far less long lasting than happiness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happiness is much more subtle, but it s almost more desirable because it can be longer lasting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s very rare to feel joy or ecstasy or bliss for more than, I don t know, a few hours." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could feel happy for two months, just calm, content, relaxed, pleased." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s important to know that there s a difference because if you re pursuing happiness in your life, you got to know what it feels like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can still pursue joy, ecstasy, bliss, but it s best to do so knowing that it s not going to last as long." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The more extreme something is, the shorter its lifespan is, I ve noticed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like an extreme emotion will last a quarter of the time that a more stable, balanced emotion will last." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, during a breakup, the first 48 hours are extreme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re brutal." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re feeling extreme pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then for the next six months, you just feel kind of sad, kind of sad, but also kind of like, eh, it s okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that, eh, it s okay, lasts for much longer because it s not extreme, you know?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happiness is not extreme." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happiness is, to me, more like waking up in the morning, maybe you live alone, waking up in the morning to a quiet house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "putting on music, making your coffee, taking a slow shower, getting your work done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Work s done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s Friday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re going out for dinner tonight with the friends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe we head to a bar after and we have small talk with people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because most people have a fuzzy understanding of happiness," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "they end up searching for it in all the wrong places." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s easy to do so without even realizing you re doing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When someone says money doesn t buy happiness, when someone says being hot doesn t make you happy, when people say winning that award won t make you happy, when someone says dating that person won t make you happy, when someone says being friends with those people won t make you happy," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy to just agree and be like, yeah, obviously like happiness comes from within." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We say a whole lot while living a hypocritical life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t even realize we re doing it half the time, but a lot of us are consciously or subconsciously looking for happiness in all the wrong places." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s dig into that a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the biggest mistake that we make is trying to find happiness outside of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we try to find happiness in other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think that if we date that person or become a part of that friend group, we ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done this throughout my life without even realizing that I ve been doing it, especially with dating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a really, really bad habit of trying to find happiness in my romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t even realize that I m doing it because I ll spew the advice all day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t find happiness in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to find happiness from within, but it s so much easier said than done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have to be so mindful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to not do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what ends up happening is when we rely on others for happiness, we put too much pressure on those people to be more than they could ever possibly be leading to dissatisfaction in the relationship, which will then ruin the relationship, which will then lead to loneliness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the irony is you end up more unhappy and more lonely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "at the end of that journey." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because when you re trying to find happiness in other people, it impacts your behavior." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You become more needy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You become more clingy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You become less emotionally stable because your emotions are reliant on other people and how they re treating you and what mood they re in." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people don t like being around a person like that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you end up pushing people away." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then you re lonely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have no source of happiness because your source of happiness is gone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s confusing though, because having healthy relationships in life can make life more fulfilling and can lead to some really happy moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a whole episode about the quote, happiness is only real when shared." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We already went through and analyzed that whole thing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we won t even go there, but," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something to that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think happiness is only real when shared, but I think life would be much less happy without other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think other people enhance our lives in a lot of ways, but healthy relationships that enhance our lives can only exist when the happiness is ultimately coming from within and we re not expecting it from other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also really toxic when we re trying to find happiness through others because we end up in anxious wreck about losing these people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think we ll be destroyed without them because we ve put so much power into their hands." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can t control what other people do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when we put our happiness in other people s hands, our happiness is now out of our control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we as humans don t like feeling out of control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we hand over," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that power to someone else, we re taking it out of our own hands and giving it to someone else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s not fair to them or us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it makes us so unhappy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of us also try to find happiness in material things or money in general." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to an extent, this is actually true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Money and material items can buy happiness to a point." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when money or material items allow us to live a more comfortable life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we have a more comfortable living situation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we have better transportation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we have better food." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we have the ability to pursue activities like traveling, hobbies, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When money or material items can allow us to live a more full life," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, money, material items can enhance our lives in a way that s undeniable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But according to all the research I did, there s a cutoff point where money and material items no longer contribute to happiness in a way that s staggering." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For people who already have a comfortable life," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be tempting still to believe, well, if I drive that car or if I buy that outfit, or if I have that piece of jewelry, then I ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think we all know deep down that material items don t make us happy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, they can briefly bring us some joy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I ve bought things" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in the past that have brought me joy, you know, even material items." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, my favorite purse of all time, I wear it almost every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My favorite purse was a little splurge." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I bought this bag and" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t expect it to bring me happiness, but every time I wear it, I m stoked." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love this bag." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s my favorite bag." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I love it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it does make me smile when I wear it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does kind of make me feel pleased in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess I could argue it makes me happy, but it s not enough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I m in a bad mood or shit s awry," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "i can t just put on this bag and feel better you know it enhances" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "my life when my life is good and it does absolutely nothing when my life is bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t want to completely discount material items altogether, but it s definitely never going to be the root source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think though that that little initial feeling of joy, feeling of bliss when you buy something new is addicting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you buy something new and exciting," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you get a little hit of joy, but it s fleeting fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also try to find happiness from within in the wrong way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, trying to find happiness from our appearance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think that if we look a certain way, we ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we lose 10 pounds, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we gain 10 pounds, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we cure our acne, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we get a nose job, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we dye our hair, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we get our eyebrows done, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we get our toes elongated, we ll be happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, like if we get our butt, nobody does the toe thing before you guys are all like, Oh, is that the new hot LA thing to do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Elongate your toes?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, not yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s coming 2024 for now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing buckle fat removal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing the thread lift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing various fat transfers to other areas of the body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing Botox." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing filler." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not doing the toes yet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So please," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s not rush there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, arguably, searching for our happiness in our appearance is looking for happiness outside ourselves because in a weird way, our physical appearance is outside of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I would argue" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s somewhere in the middle and it leans more towards trying to find happiness from within because a lot of us look at our whole physical body as being within." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look at within as being what s in the mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Regardless, at times we can find ourselves believing that looking a certain way will make us happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That could be a source of happiness for us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that this one s a little bit complicated because I think to a point, indirectly, altering our appearance at times can make us happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s similar to how money can sometimes make us happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make us happier to a point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like changing our appearance can make us happier to a point." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, changing up our style." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Changing up our makeup can allow us to live a more fulfilling, exciting life, if those are things that we enjoy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe eliminating acne can make life a bit easier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I had acne for a long time and I will say acne caused me a lot of stress, pain, like physical pain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely didn t feel cute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t feel my cutest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a tough time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no way to sugarcoat it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And do I think that my life improved when I healed my acne?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But did having good skin cause me happiness?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, was that like a root source of happiness for me?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be, let s say you want to get physically healthier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "become stronger, you want to feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you start exercising and you start eating more nutritious foods, maybe eating more balanced foods." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re eating things that are good for your gut, you know, maybe you re doing all that, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe you re doing those things because you want to change how your body looks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cultivating healthy habits like that, you can t argue that those are positive things to do in your life and you can t argue that those habits will probably improve your life, make your life better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "inspire happy moments, but the way that your body changes as a result of those healthy habits will not bring you happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might feel more confident in some ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re definitely going to feel physically really good, but the way that you look as a result will not bring you happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Improving our appearance is often tied to general health and wellbeing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I do think that life becomes happier when we prioritize our health and wellbeing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s complicated because a lot of the behaviors" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "such as taking ourselves to the dermatologist for acne or getting a little more into exercise or eating more nutritious foods, like all of these things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "lead to a happier life, but they also lead to changing our appearance a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we can get confused about what s making us happier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that we look better, but it s that we re taking care of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think when our appearance changes as a result of us taking care of ourselves," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s one thing, but it s when we become obsessed with finding happiness in our appearance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We consider that our source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when it s a problem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have absolutely, absolutely tried to find happiness in my appearance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s weird about it is no one would expect that from me, I don t think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve always been known on the internet as the girl who doesn t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, oh, she just doesn t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She like looks like shit sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like she just wears her messy bun and she wears her sweatpants and she s a stinky girl and she s just a mess." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, to the outside, that s what that looks like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have absolutely gone through phases of my life where I ve tried to find happiness" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "through my appearance." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s confusing because the outside people see me as being someone who doesn t care about their appearance, but I care about my appearance in a different way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not obsessed with wearing the perfect outfit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not obsessed with, well, I mean, I do love wearing the perfect outfit, but that s not the root of it for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about feeling pretty to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I want to be in really good shape or I want my body to look a certain way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s honestly always been rooted in like what my body looks like, which is terrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t like talking about it because it s not fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not fun and it s not healthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bad, bad, bad, bad vibes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s why to the outside world, it s like she doesn t care about what she looks like." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She has a pimple." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her hair looks like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Her outfit looks like shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She doesn t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "She ll show herself in any form." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because for me, it s always been rooted in my body, like my physical body." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No clothes on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what does that look like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s always been sort of where it s rooted." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my God, is it so inconsistent?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like our appearance is ever changing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If your happiness relies on how you look, you ll have a very unstable source of happiness because you re going to wake up with a pimple one day, you re going to wake up bloated one day, you re going to wake up in your hair looks like shit one day, you re going to wake up and you don t like any of the clothes in your closet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a very, very unstable source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, calling it a source of happiness is technically incorrect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not ever a source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like a source of delusional happiness, or you think it s going to be, and then it never really is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re also our own worst critics." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if we re trying to find happiness in our appearance, we re never going to find that happiness because we re" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so much harsher on our appearance than other people are with us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we see every little flaw, every little flaw." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s no such thing as perfection." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never going to find that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never going to experience that with our appearance, especially if we re hyper focused on it because we re trying to find our happiness within it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never going to be satisfied." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also try to find happiness in fame, power, accolades, accomplishments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We think once we achieve that thing, we ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the truth is the excitement that comes with fame, power, accolades is usually very short-lived." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can reflect on my own career in life here and confirm that nothing has ever made me feel an emotion that I haven t felt before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I expected to feel euphoria when experiencing" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "certain career milestones." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I expected to feel a level of happiness that I d never felt before." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was deeply disappointed because that wasn t the case." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by the way, it s not the case for anyone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve talked to so many different people about this topic and it s mind boggling how" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one, it s not like you unlock a new level of happiness when you accomplish certain things or you reach a certain level of notoriety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just, it s shockingly numb." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And on top of that, a lot of times fame and power and accolades can corrupt a person in a way that leads them to living actually a more miserable life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been fortunate that I don t think my personal fame, I guess power that comes with that, accolades, I really stand firm in my belief that those things have not corrupted me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if I m wrong, my God, let me know, because let me go to therapy and fix that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I, for whatever reason, have not let it corrupt me, but I ve seen how it can corrupt people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve all seen how it can corrupt people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it can make people jaded." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make people careless." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make people power hungry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can shift people s priorities to being lazy priorities." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it takes discipline to prioritize the things in life that really matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much easier to prioritize things like power, fame, money, because it scratches an itch that we have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s instant gratification." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you have the ability to do that when you have fame and power." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have the ability to do whatever you want a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think fame and power and accolades, I think it s a double-edged sword." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think it s, it gets messy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think a lot of times it actually leads people to live more miserable lives where they re no longer rooted in reality because they don t have to be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you don t have fame, when you don t have power, you have to be rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to, you don t have a choice." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s sort of a blessing in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you have fame and power, you have to make the choice to be grounded." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to make the choice to stay rooted in reality and have good priorities and have good values and treat people right and do the right thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to choose to do those things because you have the power to where you don t have to do that anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to be a functioning member of society." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have the money, you have the," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "deity, you have the godlike effect on the world." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So people just sort of bow down to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever you do, you say is right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you can do the wrong thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can fuck people over and you don t have the same type of consequences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it takes a strong person to be in a place of fame and power." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and to not abuse it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s easier for some people than others, especially depending on how you grew up, et cetera, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But ultimately I think trying to find happiness and fame and power is" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a dead end because a lot of times it turns you into a bad person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it doesn t, it still leaves you feeling unfulfilled in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like it s not, you can feel proud of yourself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can feel excited, but it s not going to fix your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to be a source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can t ever be that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If anything, the journey to acquiring fame and power and accolades is happier than once you get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think striving for fame and power is not inherently wrong, depending on how you re going to use it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think striving for it as a source of happiness is wrong because that s just going to," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and in disappointment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s also going to prevent you from enjoying the journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a period of time that can foster a lot of happy moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us see happiness as a destination." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I look like that, when I accomplish that, when I get to travel there, when I make this much money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I reach this point, then I ll be happy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The truth is happiness will never be found in the destination because the destination is never as fulfilling as we expect it to be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The destination can be amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The destination can be exciting." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The destination can be fulfilling in some ways, but it will never be a consistent source of happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what we all really want, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A consistent source of happiness that we can rely on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we also have an unrealistic expectation for what a happy life" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In order to learn and grow in life, we must experience negative emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In order to even know what happiness feels like, we need to experience negative emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Though a lot of us feel like we re failing when we feel negative emotions," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We feel like our lives aren t happy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not happy people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should strive to be well-rounded people who experience all emotions in healthy ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shouldn t strive to be happy all the time because if we re happy all the time, then we re not learning and we re not evolving." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re likely sheltering ourselves from reality, which is not good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not healthy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Feeling negative emotions," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is inevitable and crucial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think happiness comes as a result of resolved negative emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not the complete absence of negative emotions in life altogether." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a break from negative emotions, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So how do we find happiness?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just went through all the ways not to find it, all the places not to look for it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now let s discuss how to find it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, number one, stop looking for it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop striving for happiness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should strive for a dynamic life well-lived." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should strive to feel an accurate emotion" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "based on what we re experiencing in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should strive to live the best that we can." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And along with that comes happiness and happy moments." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t force ourselves to feel emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like there s something else going on in our brain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we don t have control over our emotions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just don t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like how often would we love to just be happy when we re really, really sad?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If it was a deliberate choice we could make, we would all never be sad again." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t control how our brain responds to things at times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, we can train ourselves to have an overall more positive attitude." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, but it s like when your cat gets hit by a car and you re sad," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a healthy emotional response to that situation." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to have those experiences." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to feel sad." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to be feel terrible sometimes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What we do have control over is what we do with our lives." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if we strive to live the best life we possibly can, then we re inviting in a lot more happy moments because doing your best in life in all categories," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "leads to happy moments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Doing your best to be a good friend, doing your best at work, taking care of yourself the best that you can, learning and growing as best as you can, all those things will naturally just attract happy moments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shouldn t strive for happiness as an emotion because we can t force that, but we should strive for the best life we can possibly live." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that s dynamic and flawed at times and terrible at times, but it s also very fulfilling in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To kind of build on that a little bit, living a life that you re proud of breeds happy moments." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a good work ethic, but also being fair with yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Overworking yourself is not working hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s overworking." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having goals." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and enjoying the journey to accomplishing those goals, doing the right thing, treating people well, surrounding yourself with people who are loving and amazing and good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of these things will lead to happiness in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Taking care of ourselves, again, already kind of briefly touched on this, really helps with living a happy life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Eating well, sleeping well, exercising, avoiding unhealthy temptations like scrolling on social media for hours and hours, watching the news too much to a point where you re an anxious wreck, not having discipline with yourself when you know you have things you got to do and you know you ll feel good if you do them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Forgiving yourself when you fuck up, that s totally self-care to me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Respecting yourself, appreciating your strengths, being gentle with your shortcomings, taking care of yourself, being gentle with yourself, all of this really breeds happiness as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, we have to stop looking outside of ourselves for happiness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to look within." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Within." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m talking about what is inside our brains." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s in there?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re able to find happiness from within and you don t expect it to come from the things around you, you re able to appreciate more things because expectations cause disappointment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re trying to find happiness in things outside of yourself, you end up disappointed with all these things outside of yourself." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you take the pressure off the things around you and you try to find it from within, then you re able to enjoy more things in life, which" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "also leads to more happiness." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, look for happiness in the moment." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re so obsessed with trying to set ourselves up for happiness down the line that we never get to appreciate the happy moments that are happening right now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s something I m really working on is trying to become more aware of the present moment and being grateful in the moment when things are good." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m getting better at it, but it s not easy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the moral of the story is stop looking for happiness outside of yourself and stop striving to be happy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Strive to have the best possible life you can." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Happy moments will come with that, but it s much more realistic." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much more doable." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Striving to be happy all the time is not" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "gonna be good for you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna be left disappointed when reality hits and you feel negative emotions all the time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I got for today, okay?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you all enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Tune into Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come hang out with me if you want." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stream Anything Goes anywhere you stream podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Video is exclusive to Spotify, so head to Spotify for video." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to the store locator on the website." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or just order stuff online, get it straight to your door." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Coffee, tea, accessories, candles, you know, all the fun stuff." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As always, I really appreciate all of you and value all of you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m just so grateful that you give a fuck about stuff that I say." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or, I mean, even if I m just background noise and you don t give a fuck about the stuff that I say, great." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like literally just happy that we re here together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love and appreciate all of you so much, and I can t wait to talk to you in a few days." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
11,863
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Here I go again, analyzing another corny quote, another one." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apparently this is something I enjoy doing because I can t stop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At this point, I can t say that I don t like corny quotes because I can t stop talking about them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just can t stop." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is like the third podcast episode I ve done on a corny quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m addicted to corny quotes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a little frightening to me because I take pride in the fact that I am Gen Z. Born in 2001, I am Gen Z." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But my weird obsession with inspirational corny quotes is really millennial." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m starting to wonder if I was born in the wrong generation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, kids love to say that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should have been born in the 70s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should have been born in the 60s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should have been born in the 50s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should have been born in the 90s so that I could be a millennial and it would be less weird that I love inspirational corny quotes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On today s agenda, we have a quote that is beloved on social media right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The full quote is, I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What belongs to me will simply find me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The shortened version is what s going particularly viral, I guess." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s somewhat viral." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I definitely see it floating around on the internet a lot, and I completely understand why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, the quote applies to almost everything that we desire in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Romantic relationships, careers, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a quote that you can apply to anything that you re striving for and it ll fit perfectly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and our desires are usually on the forefront of our mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it makes sense that this quote is exciting to people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In addition to that, we all have a tendency to chase, especially, especially in romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that it applies in career as well, but it hits home for romantic relationships for most people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today I want to deep dive on this quote, specifically within the context of romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like this quote is most commonly used within the context of romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this quote is the most impactful within the context of romantic relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s the journey we re going to go on today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s funny because when I initially heard this quote, I wasn t fully sold on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason for that was because I sort of believe that when we want things in life, we should go out and fucking get them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We shouldn t wait for them to come to us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should go snatch that shit up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the power to make our desires come to fruition, but we can t just sit idly by." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are steps that we have to take in order to make those dreams come true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In any category of life, I don t necessarily believe in just letting it come to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it comes to romantic relationships, I was especially conflicted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think because one of my favorite love songs sort of contradicts the whole quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One of my favorite love songs is True Love Will Find You in the End by Daniel Johnston." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the specific lyrics that contradict this quote are, true love will find you in the end." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a promise with a catch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only if you re looking, can it find you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause true love is searching too." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But how can it recognize you if you don t step out into the light?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we have two contradicting ideas here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t chase, I attract feels like I m just going to chill out and wait around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my soulmate will just show up at my front door, banging on the door with roses, wearing underwear only." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to be so iconic when they show up at my door in their underwear only." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Which, by the way, would be, I guess it depends on who it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s one sentiment, which I, on the surface level, understand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you don t want to force things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to let things just fall into your lap." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on the surface, that feels like wishful thinking, to think that, oh, it s just going to plop into my lap." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "True Love Will Find You in the End by Daniel Johnston is saying," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to open up your heart." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to put a little bit of effort in, be present, be around people, step into the light, and true love will find you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s saying, don t just sit at home in the dark and wait for your soulmate to knock on the door." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step into the light so that true love can recognize you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So initially, I was very judgmental of the quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, this just feels like wishful thinking to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I read between the lines, I started to see the value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to chase within the context of this quote?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it means to pursue the things you desire in life from a sense of desperation, from a sense of lack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s trying to fill a void with something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s forcing things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s trying to put a puzzle piece in that doesn t fit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cutting corners." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rushing things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chasing after something is hard because you re trying to grab something that doesn t want to be grabbed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it has to be forced." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be rushed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to be exhausting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to come from a place of desperation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Otherwise, you wouldn t be chasing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has to come from a place of insecurity or else you wouldn t be chasing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the nuance that I was lacking when I first read the quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a good example would be going through a breakup, being destroyed over it, and instead of sitting in that pain and waiting for it to pass before dating again, you just go on every date you can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go on a hundred dates in a month just trying to cure that sadness, just trying to fill that void, instead of waiting until you heal, focusing on yourself, and letting someone come into your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why this quote, especially within the context of relationships, is so impactful is because it s not intuitive to attract." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s more intuitive, I think, to chase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so tempting when you re, for whatever reason, feeling rushed to find your person, whether it s because you just went through a breakup or it s because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you feel like you re running out of time, or it s because you re lonely, or it s because you re insecure, or it s because you want a distraction because there s other things going on in your life that are uncomfortable, or it s because all your friends are in relationships and you re feeling lonely, or it s because whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so easy to just want to chase and hunt down anything you can find" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and try to put a puzzle piece into the puzzle that is your life that doesn t fit because it makes you feel like you re in control." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t we all love control?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OMG, don t we love that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m the biggest control freak I know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love being in control of my destiny." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love feeling like I know what s gonna happen next." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s up to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get to reach out and grab it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of times, we don t have that power." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have power only over what we do, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s rarely enough." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we go out and we start chasing other people, trying to almost not really control what they do, but we chase things in life so that we feel like we re in control of our situation." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the unfortunate part of that" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is that you re going to end up really fucking exhausted." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re going to end up really discouraged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you might even end up settling for something that you didn t even want." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think of it like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re chasing something, you re exhausting yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chasing is exhausting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re running after something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "trying to catch it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times you re chasing a lot of different people at once within the context of relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re chasing a lot of people at once, trying to make one work frantically." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so exhausting that by the time you catch one, your ability to judge whether or not that person is good for you is, it s tired." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re not going to be able to really analyze if this is a good person for you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you might get into a relationship that s mediocre at best." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the unfortunate part about that is that being in a mediocre relationship still hurts when it s over." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when it s over, you ll find yourself in an even more vulnerable position" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that will make you want to chase even more." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like an evil cycle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think this specific definition of chasing is crucial when it comes to this quote, because again, I was like, what do you mean we shouldn t chase stuff?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Of course we should." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That was my initial thought was like, you better go run after the shit you want in this life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You only got one life and you can t just sit on your ass and watch the world go by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got to get up and grab shit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But getting up and grabbing shit is different than like chasing around frantically trying to catch something that doesn t want to be caught by you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or so desperately trying to catch something that you end up catching something you don t even like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does it mean to attract?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To attract means to do the best you can as a human being." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to better your life, try to take steps in the right direction, try to lead with yourself and your well-being in mind, trying to better yourself spiritually, emotionally, trying to grow and evolve as a person, trying to make yourself a more rounded person, and then letting things come to you as a result." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This makes so much sense to me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s being aware of your goals and taking the steps towards accomplishing them, but calmly accepting that you don t know exactly how you re gonna get there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a much more calm, relaxed, accepting mindset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s finding contentment with where you are today and feeling healthily restless about where you wanna be in a year, but giving yourself and the universe this level of grace to let it unfold in the way that it may." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a good example would be finding yourself in a chapter of your life where" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re single." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re working on yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re developing your hobbies, your skills, your emotional maturity, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you decide to pursue some of your hobbies in a more serious way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you join a pottery class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you join a cooking class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you start sewing clothes and so you re at the fabric store a lot." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you end up meeting a really cool person that you actually end up dating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of funny how the universe works that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re actively doing things in your life that are making your life better for you, a lot of times that will attract like-minded people who are really great additions to your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that this is why this quote applies so perfectly to romantic relationships, is because there are so many options, but there are not a lot of great options." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And romance is vulnerable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we can make bad decisions when we re feeling insecure, when we re feeling desperate, when we re feeling lonely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we end up finding the best options for ourselves when we re putting ourselves in environments that attract like-minded people to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes complete sense why focusing inward attracts great people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think focusing inward is crucial for development." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in terms of romantic relationships, when we re single and looking for someone, ideally we want to find somebody who makes us want to be better people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to date someone who we admire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to date someone who is on our level to an extent, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times we have to take ourselves to the next level before we can date someone who s at the next level." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re gonna attract even more admirable people the more that we focus inward and work on ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what is the quote really saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it s not saying to just sit around and wait for shit to magically happen." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s for sure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s telling you to focus on yourself, focus on improving yourself in your life while being aware of the life that you want to have in the future, except that you don t know what the journey is going to look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focusing on yourself in the meantime and taking positive steps in the right direction towards the life that you want to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about having dreams, having goals, having aspirations, having desires, but approaching them with tranquility, approaching them with open-mindedness, approaching them with a level of trust in the universe." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s this agreement with oneself to focus on you while keeping your eyes open to what falls in your lap as a result." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so in conclusion, this quote s phenomenal, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I actually really think that this is a phenomenal quote, and I m so sorry for my initial judgment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is not to say that the song lyrics that I adore, that I thought contradicted this quote, are false." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they re not false." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They go hand in hand." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s saying, true love will find you in the end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a promise with a catch." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Only if you re looking can it find you because true love is searching too, but how can it recognize you if you don t step out into the light?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually kind of the same idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My analysis is that you stepping out into the light is you focusing on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "so that you re lit up and you re... Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I totally losing it, you guys?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to get off Pinterest or something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Geez, what am I doing?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m actually getting a lot of value out of this conversation and I hope you are too." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I actually have no regrets and I don t need to get off Pinterest and everything s totally fine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The thing that s so beautiful about this realization is that it s easier to just attract in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It causes so much less grief, so much less disappointment." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s taking you on a journey to a better place in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only challenge is that it just requires a level of discipline because even though it s exhausting to chase, it can be so tempting when you re in a vulnerable place." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be so tempting when you re in pain, you re lonely, you re hurting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a lot of energy pent up inside you when you re feeling those things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so it can be easy to just let that energy explode and manifest by chasing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a little less automatic to take all of that energy pent up inside from your hurt, your pain, your loneliness, and redirect it into working on yourself, bettering yourself, focusing on yourself, relinquishing control where you need to relinquish control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also don t think that this is a skill that any of us can master." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think this is a sentiment that we should continuously return to because it s so much easier said than done and throughout our lives we ll be faced with moments when we don t want to attract, we just want to chase because it s easier and it s less scary in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Chasing is exhausting and disappointing, but at times can give you brief moments of gratification, which is why it s tempting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Attracting requires you to look inward, do a little bit of work, and find that shit from within." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Though over time, it s easier because you re not chasing anything, so you re less exhausted in that way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but you re still somewhat exhausted because you have to do some work within." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the difference is that work within will eventually lead to the ability to attract things, the ability to approach your life with calmness and open-mindedness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The pain ends when you attract." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The pain doesn t end when you chase because you re not developing yourself emotionally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not doing the work inside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re getting brief moments of gratification, if any, but they fleet so fast that you end up worse off on the other side." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just end up in a worse place overall." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess the girlies were right on TikTok." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I don t even have TikTok." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see everything on Reels or YouTube shorts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No!" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not being on TikTok is so embarrassing because I m like sending links to YouTube shorts instead of a TikTok, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And people are like, what the hell are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the hell are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, people are like, you re a millennial." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You were born in the wrong generation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re a fucking grandma." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re sending us YouTube shorts in the group chat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s so embarrassing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a mantra that I genuinely am going to keep in the back of my head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I really do think, despite it being a little corny, blah, blah, blah, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually a great quote." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it has some really helpful sentiments that I need to tattoo in my brain." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think we all do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So to finish off this episode, let s sort of figure out action items for all of us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we attract and not chase?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What can we do in our lives so that we re not chasing, we re attracting, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, mindfulness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is literally so funny because I swear so much can be changed by mindfulness, but it s such an empty piece of advice." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, just be more mindful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the fuck does that mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, I don t even know what it means technically, but I have my own definition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To me, in this particular context, mindfulness means to consistently remind myself what I should be thinking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actively reminding myself to think in a different way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we can have a tendency to get into bad habits mentally." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do it all the fucking time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we re aware of when our brains start thinking the wrong things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not like we re not aware of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The key is to become aware the second that your brain starts doing something that you don t like and pivoting it, rerouting it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re having a lonely weekend." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your friends are out of town." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t distract yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, fuck, what do I do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you start just texting people on your phone that you maybe could have sex with." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you re like, hey, like, what are you doing?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, hey, want to hang tonight?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you don t even like these people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these people don t make you feel good, but it s better than nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re kind of chasing that situation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say before you even start shooting texts out, you realize what you re about to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, oh, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not attracting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m chasing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is not good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, what you could do instead is say, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to go to a cooking class tonight because I ve been wanting to cook." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m going to go to a cooking class tonight and maybe I ll meet some fun people that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or a more realistic option would be, you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to spend tonight working on a little creative project." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what it is yet, but I m going to figure it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been wanting to learn how to play the ukulele and it s sitting in the corner of my room." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I m going to pick that up for 40 minutes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like rerouting your mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or let s say it s like a Friday night and you re like, I need to go out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to go to the bars." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to go to the clubs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I need someone to flirt with me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you, when you go to a bar or a club and you re like, I need somebody to flirt with me, sometimes they might, but it s never going to be the person you wanted to flirt with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually, yeah, it s never the person you wanted and you re going to end up disappointed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you know what you could do is shift the mindset and say, I m not going to go out tonight chasing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m just going to go out tonight, have fun with my friends and what comes to me comes to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I swear to God when you go out with that mindset, you just end up having a better night and sometimes you ll have better results and you ll attract cooler people that you re actually into." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, that s the mindfulness of it all." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Second tip is to distract yourself responsibly." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many healthy ways that we can distract ourselves, whether it s getting our work done, whether it s spending time with friends and family, whether it s spending extra time on hobbies, whether it s cooking, whether it s cleaning, it doesn t matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many healthy ways to distract yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re in a phase where you re wanting to chase," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are so many things that we have control over right in front of us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s so important when you re having those urges to go be responsible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go take steps in the right direction in your life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Distract yourself with those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it can be hard to start those activities." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because you want instant gratification in some way, but long-term it pays off, and long-term it makes you feel better." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, focus on refining your goals for the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "crack open your journal or just stare at the fucking ceiling." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I ve been doing recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find a way to figure out what you want in the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve been doing this a lot recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I stare at the ceiling and actually I do this all the time anyway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not that recent, but especially recently staring at the ceiling and asking myself, what do I want?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does that look like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do I want my life to look like in 10 years?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Vaguely, what do I vaguely want things to look like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think you can get yourself into some trouble when you have specific, super specific goals." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, well, I need to be married to this person and I need to be living in this state and I need to have one son and two daughters and the son needs to be two years older than the daughter or else they ll get bullied at school." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I need to also have a farm in my backyard, but the farm needs to only be able to grow winter crops because I don t care about the summer crops." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my house needs to be green and with brown trim." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I need to have a big car, big, big, big." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m actually, I m going to have three more kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to have five kids." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a bun in the oven." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m pregnant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be pregnant at 32 and a half years old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when you get yourself into some trouble, because that is not gonna happen, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not gonna happen." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can t be too specific." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to leave some room for the imagination, but it s nice to have a general idea of what you want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you an example within the context of relationships, because that s kind of the topic of today, vaguely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it really?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of just about life, but it was supposed to be about relationships." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re sort of imagining what your next significant other is gonna look like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t imagine, well, they re going to be six feet tall, super, super, super in good shape, runs marathons, obviously, super smart, went to Harvard, went to Yale, obviously, good with dogs, because I have a dog." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the proper way to manifest, visualize" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "refine your goals is to look at the things that really matter." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to a relationship, everyone s priorities are different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people want an outgoing person because that balances them out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people want a shy person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people want a creative person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people want a more mathematical type of person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people don t care about any of that, and they re like, you know what I want?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just someone who is on my team, someone who supports me, someone who loves me for who I am, and I love them for who they are, and I don t really care about the details." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just figuring out what you want, okay?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And leaving a bit of room for what life brings you, but I do think that there s a lot of value in figuring out what s important to you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are deal breakers?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s your ultimate goal in life?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to get married?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to have kids?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want to just have a life partner where it s like, we re not married, we don t have kids, but we re just together forever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what do you want?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, find confidence from within." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, that s tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is something I ve been working on for my entire life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For whatever reason, I have chronic low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not that low, but it s pretty low." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s lower than it should be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People often are frustrated by me in a lot of ways because they re like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You must just be lying or fishing for attention because you re so self-deprecating, you hate yourself so much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why are you trying to be silly like that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is not that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For years, people were like, you re so fucking annoying because you re so self-deprecating and you re obviously lying." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re exaggerating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You obviously aren t, what are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m not just trying to be cute and silly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I actually," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "deeply have low self-esteem, especially with dating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like really, really, that s my soft spot right there in relationships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just feel like I, yeah, it s a soft spot for Emma, but I ve been really working on finding confidence from within." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve realized confidence from within comes from number one, being a good person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number two, doing things that make me proud." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number three, doing good things for other people, being a good person to other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number four, taking good care of myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number five, mindfulness." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just every time I say something mean about myself, say, you don t mean that, take it back." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then my brain says back, you did mean that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I say, no, I didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I go back and forth for 30 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finding confidence from within is not easy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And honestly, I don t know if I m ever going to fully find it, but it definitely gets better when I do all the things I listed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, find fulfillment from within." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So easy to find fulfillment with romance because romance is so all consuming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God, it s all consuming." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just, I don t have to think about anything else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have to feel fulfilled by anything else because this is just checking every box for me right now." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so fucking hard, but we have to try to find that excitement from within." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately, the fulfillment we find within will never feel as electric as the feeling that we get from romantic relationships, but it ll be more stable and it ll be even more rewarding, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It ll also attract better relationships." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what s funny about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We attract the best relationships when we re fulfilled within and we don t even need a relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the irony of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not the first one to say that, though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody knows that already." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally find fulfillment from within through my platonic relationships with other people, having really, really strong bonds platonically with other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is so special to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also, doing good things for other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not all about me all the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trying to do good things for other people, that makes me feel fulfilled." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also giving myself proper attention as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, taking care of myself, allowing time for hobbies, working in a way that feels fulfilling for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, listen, finding fulfillment from within looks different for everyone, but that s what Emma does." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also need to take others off the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody s really worth chasing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one s worth chasing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why we think we need to chase people or even chase things is because we have a tendency to put things on a pedestal that we don t fully understand." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see someone hot on social media and you re like, oh my God, I need to date them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably not as perfect as you think they are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, they are not as perfect as you think they are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, this applies to so many things in life, even like your dream job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might be chasing your dream job and trying to force it to happen, but you might get your dream job and realize, oh my God, I put this job on a pedestal and it s not living up to what I thought it would be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fuck, that s a bummer." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much easier to accept something that came to you, something that you attracted for what it is and see its beauty for what it is because it just came to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re able to see its positives and negatives in a much more rational way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas you re chasing something because it s on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You think it s gonna be fucking awesome." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you get it and you re like, that didn t live up to my expectation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had this up on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a lot of times our brains can immediately do a switch and convince us that the thing that we were chasing is good for us because we had it up on that pedestal to begin with, when in reality, that s not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s actually not something that s good for us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just are so exhausted from chasing that we re now lying to ourselves so that we don t have to chase anymore." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, strengthen your independence." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, being self-sufficient is something that we can all work on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I think some of us take it too far, but learning to be comfortable and fulfilled alone is an ongoing journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it really helps when it comes to not chasing things in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times we chase people because we re lonely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know how to exist without other people around." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want a significant other." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to be dating somebody so we don t have to be alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re independent, then you re fine being alone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might be a little lonely sometimes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might wish that you had a significant other to cuddle up with, but if you re comfortable with your independence, then you re gonna be able to sit in those feelings of sadness and loneliness and not react by chasing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna react by rerouting and doing something that is positive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, I m shutting my iPad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when you know it s fucking over." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma s done, mic drop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So repeat after me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What belongs to me will simply find me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You heard me, ladies." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t chase, I attract." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, I m obsessed with this quote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I had my doubts, but this quote fucking rocks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, I m getting it tatted on my asshole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Hole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, actually, the asshole is not visible enough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need it like on my chest, like right across my chest, because then I d see it in the mirror, whereas if it was on my hole, I wouldn t see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is a quote I need to be seeing on a daily basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s corny." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re laughing at me at home." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, Emma, you re so cringe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just talked about I don t chase, I attract for like an hour." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, get a life, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I get it, but it s a good quote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This one s good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I had to rate this one out of 10, I d probably give it a 9.8." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fucking up there." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, a 9.9." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a really great quote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope you all enjoyed hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I totally did, as always." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed it, tune in." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "New episodes every Thursday and Sunday." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream anywhere you get podcasts, but for video, you have to go to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at anythinggoes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at emmachamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Chamberlain Coffee, my coffee company, on Instagram at chamberlaincoffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can also go on chamberlaincoffee.com and" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Pick up some matcha, some tea, some accessories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can also go on the store locator and see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really love and appreciate you all, and I m so grateful that you come and hang out with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I guess I ll just talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it just me or is it starting to feel like romantic love is just an illusion?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in our imaginations." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just all a dream." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once we wake up, it s all over." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to wake up from this dream, but we have to eventually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Romantic love is just an illusion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in love romantically, it s because you re delusional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wake up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it just me or is it starting to feel that way?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, I m not trying to be a pessimist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "In fact, I m actually in a really good mood today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s Friday when I m recording this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "TGIF." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m actually in a really good mood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I m just being real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At least in my silly little brain, it s starting to feel like romantic love is not a real thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I m not just saying this with no statistics to back it up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, with approximately 60-67% of second marriages ending in divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Beyond that statistic, though, it just feels like romantic love is destined to fail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like everywhere we look, we see people cheating on each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see people breaking up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see people getting a divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We see people going on dates and it not working out." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We personally experience bad dates, breakups, divorces, cheating." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s everywhere we look." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "it can be a little disheartening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It can be hard to have hope at times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Throughout my life, my opinion on romantic love has changed a lot." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Growing up, I believed it didn t exist because I m a child of divorce and I didn t have a romantic couple to look up to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I just sort of believed" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It wasn t real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I got hit with that reality that romantic love is complicated very early on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the way that I internalized that was, well, it s just not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Everyone wake up." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As I grew up though, I started to open up my heart to the idea of romantic love because with age comes wisdom and context." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I started to realize that just because my parents got divorced doesn t mean that real love doesn t exist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, there s a huge world out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "There s a whole lot of people in happy marriages, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My friend s parents love each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My grandparents love each other." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s totally possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "On top of that, I started to develop far deeper feelings towards boys." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I was like, well, I really," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "love them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, I feel like I love them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So it was a combination of experiencing it myself and also opening my eyes to the world around me, realizing that there s more evidence to pull from than what s in my direct, immediate life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I started to believe in romantic love again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I became a firm believer, I d say." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It became a priority for me to find romantic love in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And even when I would date and it would fail, I would stand true in my belief that romantic love is real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It is possible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But as I m getting even older, I m starting to sort of go back in the other direction." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t have this blissful naivety around romantic love anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve experienced enough with my own two eyes to now start to question the concept again." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think I m fully back to where I was as a kid where I m like, this is not real." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This doesn t exist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is just a complete illusion and it s not something that s worth striving for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think I m back there, but I m also not blindly believing in it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "anymore either." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m somewhere in the middle." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m starting to question the concept of romantic love and what that experience is for us as humans because of my own life experiences, but also because the statistics," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "are pretty damning, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "40 to 50% of marriages end in divorce." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ouch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s happening?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, it s so fascinating that there s something that s so fundamental to human life, finding romantic love, and yet it s so destined to fail." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s the disconnect?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "As I m maturing and facing these realities, I can t help but ask the question, why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And my brain immediately" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "went to, well, romantic love must just be an illusion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m starting to wonder if the failure rate is due to the mere fact that romantic love is, to human beings, delusional." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And once true reality sets back in, that delusion goes away, the relationship inevitably ends because it was never real to begin with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is romantic love not true love, but rather just an explosion of irrational emotion and sexual desire that is mistaken for love, which is separate from explosive romantic feelings?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do we think that we re in love, but really we re just experiencing something else that is not real?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it is real, but it s not real love." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, here we go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, God." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s go down the rabbit hole." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s go down the rabbit hole of romantic love and really, really get to the bottom of things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because let me tell you, if I come to the conclusion that it is just an illusion." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Great, then we ll do other stuff with our lives, but I need to know that now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I need to know that now because it s fucking Friday, so I need to know what to do with my plans tonight." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t make me explain what I m saying." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so let s really dig in and dive in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s really dig, dive, and zoom in to this simple yet complex question." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is romantic love an illusion?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s start out with some definitions." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What is love?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Emma." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So cringe." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, it s cringe, but I do have to read the definition of love and I personally prefer the Buddhist definition." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I m going to share that with you now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Love is unselfishly wishing others to be happy, to be delighted to be in their presence, to offer our affection and smiles and hugs and help freely without wanting anything in return." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The first time I read the Buddhist definition of love, I had an existential crisis because it really showed me that love is being selfless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s kind of what it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I just never thought of it that way, but I think it s especially interesting in the context of romantic love, which in theory is just this definition of love in addition to sexual attraction and romantic gestures, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s the only difference." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This definition of love immediately made me realize how" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Rare romantic love really is, if it does exist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If it can t exist, it s definitely really rare because love in itself is challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To truly love someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "in a way that is selfless and genuine is already challenging." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You have to be in a certain place in your life to be able to love other people in a platonic way, in a familial way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It gets even more complicated when romance enters the picture because romance" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "adds a whole other level of emotional turmoil." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being able to love someone platonically or familially is actually kind of complicated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even that is challenging." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s even more challenging to romantically love someone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s something about romance that is a bit more," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "challenging on the ego." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason for that is you and the other person are choosing each other because you think that the person that you chose is better than other people and the person who chose you chose you because they think that you re better than other people." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like the initial union of a romantic relationship is rooted in ego in a weird way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s an ego boost when you both choose each other, both of your egos get boosted from that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now imagine how complicated that becomes because the whole idea of love is that it s deeply selfless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about the other person feeling loved and feeling happy and feeling supported and expecting nothing in return." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "While a romantic relationship fuels your ego, which kind of doesn t go hand in hand with selflessness, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times we re selfish in relationships, romantic relationships, especially." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want our significant other to be happy without us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to do things for our significant other without getting things in return." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The definition of love really proved to me how rare real romantic love is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what s the definition" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "of illusion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s an illusion?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An illusion is a distortion of the senses, which can reveal how the mind normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s really try to figure this out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is romantic love an illusion?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my opinion," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, most of the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with the honeymoon phase." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What is the honeymoon phase?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the first few months to few years of a relationship where everything is sunshine and rainbows." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s on their best behavior." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s still excited." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of this dreamy period of the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the very beginning when things are fiery and hot and exciting and everyone s just sort of happy to be there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the beginning of a relationship, you may think that you love the person you are with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you may think that this is the love of your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reason for that is because you re experiencing an extreme amount of happiness and excitement due to the chemicals that your body releases when you re in love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Researchers have scanned the brains of people who are madly in love and found a heavy surge of dopamine, which is something that I ve talked about quite a bit, even though I m not a scientist and shouldn t be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dopamine, along with other chemicals, gives us energy, focus, and obsession." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when we re in a new relationship, our brain is releasing a bunch of dopamine and we re just on top of the world with this other person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re excited." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would argue that being in love is different than loving someone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know that that s sort of confusing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just feel like truly loving someone is so much deeper than being in the honeymoon phase with somebody and being madly in love with someone, but you don t necessarily love them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because going back to the Buddhist definition of love, it s like the idea of that is being deeply selfless." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think being in love is a feeling that s somewhat irrational at times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think truly loving someone is rooted in reality and selflessness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, I might be missing the mark here." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You guys can let me know on various social media platforms if you disagree with me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Back to what I was saying, all of this dopamine distorts reality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re experiencing almost a high from being in love, from falling in love, and you re experiencing unnatural levels of excitement and focus and obsession, and it s inevitably going to end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the feelings are so strong that you can convince yourself that you ve met your soulmate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when in reality you re just experiencing the normal high that comes with falling in love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the honeymoon phase, when your brain is still releasing all of these excited chemicals." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem is, once those chemicals die down a little bit, once your brain stops releasing them, what happens?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, the rose-colored glasses that you d been wearing for the entire honeymoon phase come off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now you re being faced with reality, the reality of the relationship." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times the honeymoon phase ends and couples break up because what they thought was true love was just an illusion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all it was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the reality of the situation," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is not what they thought it was going to be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They thought that they had something different." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They thought that they had something explosive." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They thought that they had something kindred." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When in reality, it was like, no, that s just a lot of dopamine and being excited about a new thing and being on your best behavior and having the time to give to one another and maybe temporarily being selfless because it s easy to do that for a few months to a year." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s hard to do that for the rest of your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The honeymoon phase is, it s like playing house, you know, when you re a kid and you and your friends would pretend that you were all, okay, that s such a niche reference." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I m realizing that nobody s gonna know what I m talking about." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My friends and I used to play a game where it d be like, okay, you re the mom, you re the dad, you re the older sister and you re the younger brother." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now we re going to play house." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then, you know, the parents would boss around the kids." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s such a weird game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did anyone else do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like the honeymoon phase is like mimicking what romantic love is or should be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, I think the honeymoon phase is a whole lot of pretending." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think that we do it on purpose, but we have the energy to dress up and pretend like we re in the perfect romantic, loving situation, but it s not real." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it always comes to an end." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I think it s safe to say that the honeymoon phase of the relationship, the first few months to a year," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is an illusion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is rooted in delusion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, the last point I ll make on this is, according to science, this is no coincidence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This honeymoon phase serves a biological purpose." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some experts believe that our brains release" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "these intoxicating chemicals to help us pass on our genes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a biological mechanism that s innate in us to become attracted, become excited, and need to connect romantically." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Humans also have a tendency to put their partners on a pedestal in a way that is irrational." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look back at my first few relationships when I was younger, and it boggles my mind in retrospect, boggles my mind that I put them on the pedestal that I did." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, this is not to insult those boys, but I looked at them like they were godly to me, because I was so in love with them, or I thought I was." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was infatuated." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was obsessed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t even see their flaws." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was blind to their flaws because I was so obsessed with them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was just like, Oh my God, they re perfect." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in retrospect, I look back and I m like, those are just normal boys, my love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are just normal boys." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were absolutely" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely flawed, as am I, by the way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m also flawed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all flawed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But they were very flawed in many areas." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I completely ignored their flaws and put them up on this pedestal and convinced myself that they were God s gift." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I honestly think the reason why we put our partners on a pedestal is number one, probably because of the way that they make us feel all that dopamine probably plays a role in how we elevate them in our minds." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think that a lot of humans have this innate desire to find the one we want to find." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to find our person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think part of that is probably biological, but I also think part of that is societal too." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s this pressure to find your partner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s feels so good to go home on Thanksgiving and say, grandma, I found the one bitch." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you can shut up now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels so good to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that pressure can give us selective vision." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We only see what we want to see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and we ignore what we don t wanna see." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Every relationship I ve ever been in, casual, serious, doesn t matter, I ve put those boys on a pedestal without fail." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, there s maybe been one or two times where I didn t." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, maybe twice I didn t put boys on the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Weirdly, that was intentional, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to experience" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a romantic experience with somebody who I didn t put on a pedestal to see how that made me feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Spoiler alert, not great, but it was still fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I don t have regrets, but majority of the romantic relationships I ve experienced, I ve put the people on a pedestal and only years after have I realized what the hell was going on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What the hell was I thinking?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, they re fine, but it s also like, I really put them on a pedestal, like in a way that was so delusional, like delusional and weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But only when I look back can I realize that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there are a few reasons why we might put our partners on a pedestal, whether it s our own low self-esteem manifesting in where we put these people in our minds, or it s the rush to find the one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you sort of just put this person up on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in a way that doesn t really make sense, isn t really rational because you just want to put someone there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just want to have a significant other that you put up on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you just kind of put someone random up there because you re hurrying to find your person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whatever it may be," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s definitely delusional because all humans are deeply flawed and due to the fact that everyone s flawed, no one belongs on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I do think that we can admire other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can appreciate other people s strengths." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just those two." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think admiring other people, looking up to other people is different than putting people up on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because the thing about putting someone up on a pedestal is that by doing that, you re ignoring their flaws." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you see someone for their positives and their negatives, you can sort of keep them on your level in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re looking at them as a well-rounded person, similar to how you look at yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well-rounded person, flaws, shortcomings, but also strengths, et cetera." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so, it s so bad to put bae on a pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me tell you, I need to stop doing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do that anymore because I m clearly dealing with something else, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for me it tends to be actually a combination of both of the reasons I mentioned, challenges with my self-esteem as well as being in a rush to find the one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I think I put them up on the pedestal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I got the clean sweep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My reasoning is both of the reasons." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that just means I need to work on my self-esteem and I need to not be in a rush." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Moving on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think we can confuse security with love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes being with someone can bring us a feeling of security." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a lot of ways, that s selfish." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re in a relationship just to feel secure about yourself, that is not love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because love, in theory," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is selfless." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so if you re in something for your own personal comfort and that s it, that s not real romantic love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s something else." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s easy to stay in a relationship to avoid being lonely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy to stay in a relationship to help keep our egos and confidence up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s easy to stay in a relationship to provide security for the future." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I know I m going to have someone when I m old and gray." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When deep down, you don t really love them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in it for some other sort of selfish reason." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you might convince yourself that you re in love because the security that you get from that person makes you feel good in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that good feeling can be mistaken for love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might think you re experiencing love, but you re not." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re experiencing security." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s different." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not real love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the reason why I feel like romantic love is an illusion is because a lot of times it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Simply put, a lot of times it is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it always an illusion?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I don t think so." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think that romantic love can be completely real." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just think it s really hard to find." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go back to the honeymoon stage for a minute here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the honeymoon stage, when all the butterflies and rainbows and glitter have gone away and you re left with the reality of your situation," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You and this person being partners in crime, you two against the world, it becomes a choice every day to be with this person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re sacrificing the sunshine and glitter and rainbows that could come with the next person for this person that you re with now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might have to make serious decisions with this person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, are we going to move in together?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are we going to have a child?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have to start considering, well, what happens if they get sick?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I the one who s going to take care of them?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "At the end of the honeymoon phase, shit starts to get serious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Reality hits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are two ways it could go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, one or both people freak out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re like, nope, can t do this anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The spark is gone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nope, I m out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is getting too serious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or it didn t end up feeling the way I wanted it to feel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Option number two," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Both members are aware that the relationship feels different, but they re actually okay with the next stage of the relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re actually kind of excited about the next stage of the relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not going to be as fun or sparkly or exciting as it was before, but it s going to be real and it s going to be solid and reliable and deep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is exciting." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let me introduce to you the concept of consummate love, the ultimate form of romantic love." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the romantic love I ve been speaking of all day that I thought was an illusion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Turns out it was, it is kind of an illusion, but not always." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Consummate love is the complete form of love representing the ideal relationship toward which many people strive, but very few achieve." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is represented as a triangle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Intimacy, passion, commitment." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those three things make the perfect relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now you might be thinking, Emma, okay, obviously that s so fucking obvious." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally like stop being a podcaster now because that was the dumbest shit you ve ever said." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the dumbest thing you ve ever said." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously you need intimacy, passion and commitment in a real, in a romantic relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like so many people have that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not really though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually sit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for me, sit and think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much more rare than you think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most relationships only have one or two out of those three." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many relationships do you know where there s intimacy and there s commitment, but there s no passion?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The passion s just not happening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many relationships do you know where there s commitment and there s passion, but there s no intimacy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where s the intimacy?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s gone." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How many relationships, you know, where there s intimacy and there s passion, but there s no commitment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh wait, that s literally all of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s quite literally all of them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, that s not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like for me personally, that s not true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for so many people that I know, that is true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the commitment part that I think is the hardest in the 21st century." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To achieve real romantic love, you gotta have all three." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to have the intimacy, not only physically, you know, seeing each other s boobs and stuff, but also verbally, verbal intimacy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having intimate, vulnerable, deep conversations, crucial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Passion." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you need to be passionate about your partner." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, it s unrealistic to feel passionate 100% of the time, but you should be deeply passionate about your significant other in a way that is so automatic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re passionate about what they re doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re passionate about protecting them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re passionate about being a shoulder for them to cry on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re deeply, deeply invested in this person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think passion also relates to sex as well." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t know, having passionate sex, I guess." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something about the word passionate for me, like in terms of sex for me, for me that s like a turn off for some reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like not actually, like not in real life, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like not in real life, but the word passionate for me makes my vagina invert." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Personally, for me, it makes my vagina go back up inside." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not excited." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Dries it up." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That word, for some reason, it s gross to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Passionate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ew, that s gross." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe that just shows my immaturity, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, commitment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not being a cheater, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having discipline, committing to your significant other to the best of your ability." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that one s pretty self-explanatory." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you know, when I think about my past relationships, I realized that with all of them, at least one of those things was missing in all of the experiences I ve had this far." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In every single one, one of those things has been missing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s interesting is if I would have been aware of this concept, I would have been able to analyze my situations" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I would have realized very quickly, I m missing a whole lot of shit that s needed for real romantic love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, let s put things into context." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of my relationships prior in my life have been when I was a teenager, really." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a kid." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, like the ones that I m able to speak of because they re so far in retrospect are all when I was a teenager." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So who knows how helpful this would have been to me back then." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I know it s going to be helpful for me in the future." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Signs of consummate love, the ultimate form of love." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "include acceptance, emotional support, commitment, calmness, respect, caring, kindness, friendship, and consideration." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two people are together because they want to be together and not just because they feel an irrational desire or need to be with one another." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in the fact that neither people are perfect." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in the fact that we only live once and we prefer our lives with this person than without them." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rooted in the confidence that we d be okay if we were by ourselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So all of that to say, I think romantic love is possible, but wow," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a bitch to find?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I m wondering, like, I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it s something you can find at my age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m 22." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not 100% sure it s something that can be found at my age." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It might be possible, but I am not certain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I m in no rush, personally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, we don t need to be in any rush." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just what s been on my mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be honest, it s probably been on yours too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like romantic love is always on all of our minds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not all of our minds, but a lot of our minds." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s particularly relevant for people in their 20s, but it s just relevant in general." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the hunt for romantic love is something that never ends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if it ever ends, but that s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had the best fucking time as per usual." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was amazing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you have fun?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You had fun with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have fun together, me and you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we had fun, which is great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s good news." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We both had fun." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was mutually fun for both of us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I appreciate you all for hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re all the best." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you enjoyed this episode, new episodes every Thursday and Sunday, stream Anything Goes anywhere you get podcasts." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for video, you have to come to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today I m drinking a matcha that s all melted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had an iced matcha latte and now it s melted." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, delish though." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea, we have accessories." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go check out chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Order something or use the store locator and see if we re in a grocery store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope you all have a phenomenal rest of your day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just love and appreciate you all." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, and I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t worry, I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay?" } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yesterday wasn t a great day for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It all started when I showed up to my morning workout class and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I realized that I had been booked on the 13th treadmill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me explain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The workout class I do is sort of a bootcamp." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are treadmill stations, there are weight stations, and each treadmill and each weight station has a number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you go online to book your class, you have to choose where you want to be in the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so you re basically just choosing a number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, when you re booking the class, you have control over where you want to be in the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have control over what number treadmill or weight station you choose." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fully up to you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I booked this class, I just sort of blindly chose one treadmill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I ll just go on this treadmill, whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t even think twice about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t even look at the number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I show up yesterday morning and I pull up my phone to see what number I m on." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m like, oh my God, I chose the 13th treadmill." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I walk into the class and I see the treadmill with a big number 13 on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, fuck, this is bad luck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now for the rest of today, I m gonna have bad luck because this is not a lucky number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is an unlucky number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m starting my day by running on top of an unlucky number." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know why my brain works like this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t even know where I got the idea that the number 13 was unlucky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even explain this train of thought yet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the back of my mind, I was obsessing over the fact that I accidentally chose the 13th treadmill in my workout class and I started to convince myself that the rest of my day would be cursed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, it gets worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So after my workout class, I get in my car and I drive home." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the way home, I see on the side of the road a dead black cat." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, now I m really freaking out because black cats are supposed to be bad luck and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, if I do the math in my head, a dead black cat is really bad luck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m cursed today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I might die today, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This might be my last day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m having all this anxiety about these bad omens, and I don t even know where I got those ideas from." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who told me that 13 was unlucky?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even remember." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who told me that black cats were unlucky?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t even remember." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I even believe that those things are bad luck?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Deeply to my core, no." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But because there s stigma around the number 13 in black cats being bad luck, I weirdly believe it without even questioning it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I realized yesterday that I am very superstitious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even realize I was, like I sort of knew I was, but I d never really thought about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It took an anxiety filled day for me to realize that I m really superstitious and I don t even know why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t even know if it s serving me in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Spoiler alert, I actually don t think it is serving me in my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s actually very unhealthy for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before we continue," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s define what superstitions are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A superstition is a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event or a practice based on such a belief." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Basically, superstitions are items or rituals that can cause an event without being rationally tied to it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, for example, finding a four-leaf clover, which is an object that s considered to be good luck, and then a week later getting your dream job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, you probably just worked hard for your dream job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That four leaf clover was a coincidence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s irrational to say that finding the four leaf clover got you your dream job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s rational to say, I worked really hard, I networked really hard, I met the right people, I got in the right rooms, and I got my dream job." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s connecting something that s completely unrelated to something else that happened in reality, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am definitely superstitious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is undeniable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m superstitious in mainstream ways, clearly shown by me feeling like it was unlucky to be on the 13th treadmill at my workout class and me thinking it was unlucky to pass by a black cat dead on the side of the road." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those are very popular superstitions, but I m also superstitious on a more personal level." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I believe certain objects are good luck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I believe in angel numbers to an extent, whether I want to admit it or not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when I see the same number on the clock every day, I believe that the universe is protecting me or something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s proof." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, angels or something are trying to speak to me through reoccurring numbers on the clock or on a receipt or whatever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I was an athlete in high school, I always had pre-competition rituals" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m definitely superstitious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times it s a gift." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, when I m going through a challenging time and I see something that I consider to be a good omen, like I see my lucky number, I see a shooting star, a ladybug lands on my hand, I see a rainbow, I feel like I m on the right track." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like things are going to be okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like the universe is on my side and it can be incredibly comforting during challenging times." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But being superstitious can also be a curse, no pun intended." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I see something that I consider to be bad luck, it can either ruin a totally good day or make a bad day worse." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, I see a number that I think is unlucky." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I jinx something and I m not able to knock on wood three times with the left hand." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did I even learn that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Knock on wood three times with the left hand to undo a jinx." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like where did I even learn that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s ridiculous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see a dead animal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I accidentally walk under a ladder." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I accidentally break a mirror and look at myself in the mirror." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, some of those things have never even happened, but it s unfortunate because" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something that is completely mundane can ruin a decent day or make a bad day worse just because I believe it s bad luck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can cause anxiety for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can cause me to spiral for no reason." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what s so interesting is that it clearly impacts me emotionally, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I clearly live by superstitions in a way that is not insignificant." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I take my superstitions to heart, and yet I ve never taken a step back and analyzed the legitimacy of them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what s funny to me is I don t have to think about it very long to realize, oh, wait, this is stupid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, what am I doing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what s the most dangerous part of superstitions is that it s mainly subconscious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of us gather superstitions in our minds over the course of our lives." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they live in the back of our minds without us even really realizing that they re there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if somebody had asked me a month ago if I was superstitious, I d be like, I don t know, not really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because a lot of it was happening subconsciously." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is something I probably should talk to with a therapist, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause this could be something deeper, but a lot of people I know are superstitious, which is why I feel less vulnerable coming on here and talking about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have friends that knock on wood to not jinx something I have" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "who throw salt over their shoulder for good luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have friends who have good luck charms that they carry around with them everywhere." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have friends who will not walk under a ladder because it s considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have friends who have not adopted a black cat because black cats are bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of office buildings don t have a 13th floor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of hotels don t have a 13th floor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because it s considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t even realize this until I read about it on Instagram or something, that most buildings don t have a 13th floor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, that can t be true." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I started paying attention and I have not seen a building with a 13th floor since." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am not kidding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of me wonders if there s something wrong with me for" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "the way I so illogically take superstition seriously, but at the same time, I know I m not the only one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I see it out there in the world with my friends and with office buildings and hotels who skip the 13th floor." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not just me, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I became curious why humans are superstitious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I obviously Googled it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what I found was superstitions provide a sense of control and a lot of times can reduce anxiety, which is why a lot of times levels of superstition increase at times of stress." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A good example of that would be me yesterday." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I was having a great day, I probably wouldn t have even noticed" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that I had ended up on the 13th treadmill, I probably wouldn t have even noticed the black cat dead on the side of the road." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like because I was in a state of stress yesterday, just naturally, just as a result of my current circumstance in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was almost looking for an explanation for my stress, for my bad fortune, in a way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in a weird way, maybe my brain was trying to search for bad omens to explain my bad fortune or stress to try to relieve anxiety." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Life is just simply unfair, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bad shit happens to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Challenging things happen to us for no reason sometimes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that makes us uncomfortable as humans." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love an explanation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We love a reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes there is no reason." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bad shit, challenging shit just happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a weird way, I think associating unfortunate moments in life with bad omens, things that are bad luck, help us piece together a story that can weirdly relieve our anxiety in our minds." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, that s in terms of bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to good luck," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s very similar." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of times we feel like" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we can t control whether or not good things happen to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And by clinging on to good luck charms or participating in rituals that bring good luck, we feel like we re able to control whether or not good things happen to us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, it gives us control over our lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ultimately, superstitions are all about control, which is something that we as humans really like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And interestingly enough, I really like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a control freak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not new." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am a very, very, very deeply, deeply anxious person because I have a really hard time with the fact that there s a lot that I can t control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes a lot of sense that I m particularly superstitious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another reason why humans are superstitious is because it can be easy to convince yourself that your superstition is actually real, rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re going in to write an essay at school and you decide to bring your lucky penny that your grandma gave you when you were a kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You go into school, you write your essay, you turn it in, you look down at your lucky penny and you re like, I hope you did something." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A week later, you get your grade back and you got an A plus." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You doubted yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You thought you were gonna get an F. You thought you were gonna fail this essay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You thought you were gonna get a terrible, terrible grade." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You convinced yourself that the reason why you got that A plus was because you had that lucky penny in your pocket." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example would be, let s say you believe that walking under a ladder is bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a very common superstition, walking under a ladder, bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you walk under a ladder on accident." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In a week later, your cat gets hit by a car and dies." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I see it when I m driving home from my workout class." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then I think it s bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then everybody thinks they have bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I m kidding." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you might now connect you walking under that ladder to your cat dying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We create our own reality in so many ways, and so if we want to believe something, we ll find a way to make it true a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a self-fulfilling prophecy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A self-fulfilling prophecy is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a false expectation that leads to its own confirmation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An individual s expectations about another person or entity eventually result in the other person or entity acting in ways that confirm the expectations." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s why humans are superstitious." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Researching that really put things into context for me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But then I became curious about" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "all of the mainstream superstitions that we all share." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, it depends on where you live, et cetera, but a lot of us share the same superstitions." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I became curious about their origins because I was like, I have a feeling that if I read up on the origins of these superstitions, I will end up no longer believing in them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Where did it start?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if it didn t start from a respectable place in the sense that it s not rooted in reality, then why am I living by it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So thanks to artsandculture.google.com, I found the origin for almost every mainstream superstition." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go through them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with black cats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Though cats have been associated with good luck rather than its opposite, and were even worshiped as gods in ancient Egypt, people of the Middle Ages burned black cats in bonfires on holy days like Shrove Tuesday, the first Sunday of Lent, and even Easter, and with the Puritans in America connecting them to the practice of witchcraft." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Apparently," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was a belief in medieval Europe that the devil and witches were capable of taking form of black hats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that s obviously just not true, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the thing that s so funny about it is I knew that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a cat lover myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have two cats at home." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Neither of them are black cats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so bizarre to me because I would adopt a black cat." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like I have nothing against black cats." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only reason why seeing that black cat dead on the side of the road spooked me was because I was looking for bad omens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that make sense?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I was looking for bad luck." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On a normal day, seeing a black cat on the side of the road would have just been sad." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I would have thought twice about it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, it s hard to say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m realizing more and more how my superstitions are very inconsistent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I would adopt a black cat if I fell in love with a black cat, whatever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But on a bad day when I am expecting to be cursed that day, seeing" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "a black hat on the side of the road dead freaked me the fuck out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just interesting how inconsistent it can be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, walking under a ladder is considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The superstition of not wanting to walk under a ladder has roots in Christian symbolism." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The Holy Trinity of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit led to an association of the number three with something sacred." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The triangle with its three sides came to be regarded as sacred as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And a ladder, of course, forms a triangle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So naturally, to walk under that ladder would be to destroy the sanctity of the Trinity and thus incur punishment" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in theory by God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In addition, the Egyptians apparently thought that one might accidentally spot a God going up or down on a ladder and so avoided it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m not trying to destroy the Holy Trinity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not what I m trying to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s a lot to ask that we never obstruct any sort of triangle." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, let me be honest here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m probably not gonna start just walking under ladders when I see them on the street, or there s one propped up in my house, simply because it feels like a danger hazard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that should be the reason why we don t walk under ladders, because it s actually kind of dangerous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t think it s bad luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that really disproved that one for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m good now on that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, throwing salt over your shoulder is good luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This superstition involves the idea of warding off evil." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In this case, the devil himself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In Leonardo da Vinci s The Last Supper, Jesus betrayer Judas is portrayed as having accidentally spilled salt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Since Judas was associated with doing something bad, the argument goes that so was salt." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And throwing it over your shoulder would blind the devil waiting there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I will say I think good luck rituals are harmless to an extent because they are associated with positive emotion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But still, I m not so sure I need to be throwing salt over my shoulder." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I should just throw it into the sink." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I m cooking and I have extra salt in my hand, my God, I ll just throw it in the sink." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll just throw it in the trash can." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, the broken mirror." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was the ancient Romans who contributed the notion that a broken mirror would bring seven years of bad luck, since it was believed that only poor health would cause a mirror to crack." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the number seven was seen by the Romans as the number of years required to complete a full life cycle of sickness and renewal." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those same Romans felt you could prevent that horrible outcome by gathering the broken pieces of the mirror and burying them by moonlight." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I will say is comforting about all of these origin stories?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It just proves that we re all a little weird, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The fact that these superstitions gave humans stability and reason back in the day, despite them being completely ridiculous, despite them all being intense reaches," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just kind of comforting in a way, because I think that all of us look for explanations when we re going through hard times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we re all looking for hope during hard times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes there is no explanation and sometimes there is no hope." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so our imaginations will create that for us." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I know when I m looking for an explanation or looking for a reason or looking for hope, I can sometimes grasp at straws and feel like I m losing my mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, an example of that would be me seeing my angel number on the clock every day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Could there be something to that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know for sure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would be a know-it-all to say that it for sure doesn t mean something, but I don t know for sure, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can sometimes feel like I m losing my mind when I feel my brain making connections in ways that are irrational and illogical." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s very clear to me that this is the human condition." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all do this and we ve been doing this for a very long time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, Friday the 13th is considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the number 13 in general is considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, like the number seven for the Romans, magical significance has been attached to the number 13, but this time it s rather unlucky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The number 12 has frequently been seen as positive." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "12 months of the year and 12 signs of the zodiac, for example, or 12 days of Christmas in 12 tribes of Israel." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "naturally making its nearest neighboring number to the north negative." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so wild to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, just because 13 is the next number after the very lucky number 12, now suddenly 13 is unlucky." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s crazy that this is how our brains work." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we literally just make up the rules sometimes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Makes no sense, but yet I kind of get the idea, but it doesn t make sense." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s so interesting that the Romans came to this conclusion because I do this with my angel numbers." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I think it s unlucky to see one number north to my lucky number." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My lucky number, not very unique, it s 11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always see the clock, it s like, wake up, it s 8-11, get in the car, it s 9-11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, you know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m always seeing the number 11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, don t even get me started." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is that real?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know, whatever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I start seeing 12s all the time, oh my God, I m a wreck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I get in the car, it s 9-12, and then I order food at a restaurant, and the server brings out my order number, and it s a 12." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, oh, my God, no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m off track." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m off track." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The angels are trying to tell me something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something s off." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What did I do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, is something bad coming?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, nothing bad ever comes, though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I feel like it s bad luck because it s not my lucky number 11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s 12, and 12 is evil because it s like I was one minute late to my lucky number." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I would have been one minute earlier to the restaurant, I would have gotten the 11." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s off in the universe?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, there s no real rationale to this thinking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just a weird thing we do, okay, as humans." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, people consider horseshoes to be good luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Earliest origins of the horseshoe s function as a good luck charm reside in its vulval shape, seen upside down, in the invocation of the pagan moon goddess Diana in her sacred vulva." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, so basically, a horseshoe reminded people of a vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, what a reach." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m so sorry, I ve never looked at a horseshoe and been like, wow, now that looks like my vagina." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In addition, iron was thought by early Europeans as something capable of warding off evil spirits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And horseshoes frequently featured seven nail holes, which was considered to be a lucky number." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, this is all just like, it s so wild to me because it s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of this is just made up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, the reason why seven holes are lucky in a horseshoe is because we decided that seven was a lucky number." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also decided that iron was considered a substance that could ward off evil spirits." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We came to that conclusion on no basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, it s all building onto each other into this" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Big lie." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Four-leaf clovers are considered lucky only because they re rare." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, do you know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is the first one that s made sense to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like finding a four-leaf clover is rare, so if you find it, you re lucky because you found it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it going to bring you good luck?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Probably not, but it is in itself lucky that you found it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s kind of cool." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in the Middle Ages, it was believed by some Celtic groups that wielding a four leaf clover would help you see fairies as well as ward off evil spirits and grant the holder good luck." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Great." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t think I need to read about any more of these medieval ancient superstitions, because I think it s very clear that they re rooted in a whole lot of nothing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do I think that they should be shamed?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, not necessarily, because I understand why" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we as humans created these superstitions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve explained it ad nauseum here now, but it s because we want to feel in control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these superstitions, though they re rooted in nothing, give us that sense of control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I can t judge other human beings from God knows how long ago." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "for creating these good and bad omens, because it s like, how else were they supposed to explain the terrible things that they were encountering on a daily basis?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How were they supposed to explain the unexpected good fortune that they were experiencing occasionally?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t shock me that a lot of these superstitions are rooted in religion, because I think people really, really needed religion back then, because times were fucking tough." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that the most common superstitions today are much more personal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think there is still a level of attention to these mainstream, universal, almost, superstitions that have stood the test of time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think most people nowadays are superstitious in much more personal ways." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example, they have a lucky number." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They believe in angel numbers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have pre-performance superstitions, pre-performance rituals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have bad luck omens that they ve come up with on their own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have good luck omens that they ve decided on their own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of superstition now is more personal, based on personal experience." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think being superstitious can be good and bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "mainly bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Superstitions can bring us comfort during challenging times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They can give us a sense of control during challenging times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That cannot be ignored." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes that s what keeps us going." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need that sometimes, even though it s delusional." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that s necessarily a bad thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think if superstitions in one way or another lead to optimistic thoughts, lead to positive actions, even if they re based in delusion, it s like, okay, but at least there s a good result coming out of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in general, being superstitious is harmful to one s mental health." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m realizing this about the world as I m realizing this about myself." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think they cause a lot of anxiety." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they cause more anxiety than they do positive thoughts, for the most part." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In addition to them creating a lot of anxiety, they re also not rooted in anything real, tangible." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it possible that there is such a thing as good luck charms, bad luck charms, good luck rituals, bad luck rituals?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know for sure, but we don t have any proof." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, you know, it s not rooted in anything truly real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what a shame it is to create anxiety and fear about something that isn t even rooted in reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We already have enough to be anxious about on a day to day basis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By being superstitious in a lot of ways, you re just creating more anxiety, but for no reason." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So personally, I m done being superstitious, I think." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think it s good for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m really going to try to stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think for me in particular, I need to stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "focusing on lucky numbers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to stop overthinking things that I consider to be bad luck or bad omens." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If they happen to me, I need to be like, well, that doesn t mean anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to stop Googling the spiritual meaning of seeing certain things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like if I see a dead animal on the side of the road, like a dead bird, I have to Google it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does this mean something?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What does this mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be living in reality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I looked up how to stop being superstitious and I found a wiki how article on it and there were some pretty good tips." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m gonna read them to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you re superstitious too, maybe together we can stop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Step one, learn where your superstitions originate from." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One way to overcome your superstitious beliefs is to learn where they come from to begin with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We did that today with some superstitions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Two, realize that there s no rational proof that these superstitions can affect your life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we re all working on that, so that s good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Three, consider which superstitions cause regular inconvenience to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For me, it s the lucky numbers and it s the bad luck, anything that is considered bad luck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Four, avoid superstitious beliefs when making decisions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to start going to my workout class and choosing the 13th treadmill every single class." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to start just choosing 13, choosing 12, numbers that I consider to be unlucky for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to adopt a black cat." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to walk under every ladder I see." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just need to start proving to myself that all of these things that I consider to be bad luck don t really matter." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to look at the clock at 11.11 and say to myself, that means fucking nothing, idiot." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody looks at their clock and sees 11.11 and says, make a wish, because it s widely known to be lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Trillions of people see 11.11 on the clock every day and think, well, that s lucky." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m no different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not special." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That number doesn t mean shit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I get in the car in the morning and it s 9.11 a.m., I need to say to myself, guess what that means?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fucking nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I wake up in the morning and it s 7.11 a.m., I need to look at the clock and say to myself, guess what that means?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Fucking nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oops, that means nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number five, realize that you have the power to make your own luck." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is so true." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, if you want something good to happen, there s a lot you can do to make that good thing happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t guarantee anything in life, but you re better off taking steps in the right direction than you are just sitting there with your lucky charm in your pocket, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, learn to ignore the urge to act on a superstitious belief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Next, know that a superstition only works because you believe in its inherent charm and power." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, as I mentioned earlier, it s like I m giving these things power that they don t deserve." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I should be giving the power to me, bitch." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Guess who s in the driver s seat?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Mama over here, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The clock telling me that it s 8, 11 p.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "has no control over me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Seeing the number 12 on the clock instead of 11, oops, don t care." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "because that doesn t mean anything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All that means is that it s 12, 12 p.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "or it s 9, 12 p.m." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all it means." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And guess what?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I see it s 10, 11 p.m., guess what that means?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Also nothing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just the time on the clock." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, seek help if your superstitious beliefs are an indication of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, that s how I m gonna conclude this episode is that I actually genuinely" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I do think I might need to go to a psychiatrist about this, because I sometimes, I m not somebody who self-diagnoses, so I m not going to say anything else, but sometimes I feel like there s something happening in my brain that s undiagnosed, and I don t know what it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, whatever it is, it s fine, but there s definitely something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just don t know what it is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And part of me doesn t want to know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How fun is it to not know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I ve had people my whole life be like, yeah, you have OCD, or yeah, you have ADHD, or yeah, you have ADD, or whatever." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People have been trying to diagnose me my whole life with various different things." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the truth is, and maybe I ll check it out someday, but I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the meantime, I think it s important for all of us to remember that these things are normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be superstitious, it s normal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Making irrational connections in your brain to try to make something make sense is normal People have been doing it for thousands of years and there s a reason for that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just it s just who we are As humans, I think it s normal, but I but I might see a psychiatrist just to make sure Just to make sure okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sorry just to check for all of us anyway That s all I have for today" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "no oh my god i just stop stop this right now i just fucking looked at my" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to see how long I ve been recording." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One hour and 11 minutes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, wait, now I m like wondering, is that the universe being like, this episode was fucking fire?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode was so good, Emma?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Was that the universe and my angels being like, Emma, you are on the right track, babe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode was so good and you re slaying despite all odds, despite what s going on in your life." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re slaying, babe." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Just when I thought I was not superstitious anymore, that just threw me for a loop." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "See, now I m like, hold on, who s being silly with me up there in the heavens?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Who s being silly with me?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause it s working and I love this game." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m fucking done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m done." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t do this anymore." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You stick around even when things get a little wild and I appreciate that more than anything." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I love the time that we spend together." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always so much fun." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope you enjoy it as well." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you do, you can tune in Thursdays and Sundays, anywhere that you stream podcasts, to watch video, head to Spotify, to watch me talk." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea, we have accessories." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re in grocery stores." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can order online or check the store locator online and see if we re at a grocery store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you again for listening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t wait to talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just love you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Today I m going to be speaking with Ricky Kalman, a hypnotist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My curiosity around hypnosis has been growing recently because I ve been going through this journey trying to quit nicotine and it s been far more challenging than I ever could have anticipated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I ve been exploring every option to help me quit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And one of the options I read about online was hypnosis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s been life changing for many people and" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I just want to understand how and why it works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And honestly, what it even is in the first place." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like what really is it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Ricky is a hypnotist, but more than anything, he s a mindset expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He speaks on how our mindset can be the greatest tool in achievement, reducing stress, increasing productivity and potential." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "He s worked with Fortune 500 companies, sales teams, executives, and sports teams." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "His book is called Leverage Your Mindset, Overcome Limiting Beliefs, and Apply Your Life, Be Less Stressed, Happier, and More Mindful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So I present to you Ricky Kalman, hypnotist, mindset expert." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let s start with the first time you were exposed to the concept of hypnosis." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you know me from my early part of my career, most people did know that I did magic as a kid." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was a kid magician." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I saw a hypnotist." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was completely blown away." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t know what I was watching." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I also thought, this has to be rigged." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Come on, there s gotta be a trick to this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s gotta be some secret to this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We became good friends." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He literally pulled me aside." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This was not my intention." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "He said, I want to teach you how to do this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I said, why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I literally go, why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he literally came out and said, because I really feel like you ll do something with this more than anybody else did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was 15 at the time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for several years, I just studied what it was to really understand what s really happening." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And once I understood it, I was like, well, this is opposite of what most people think." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because even when I say I m a hypnotist to somebody, what do you think the first thing is they say?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, I think a lot of people think that s a scammer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Scammer, you re going to put me under, don t want to look in my eyes, afraid to even talk to me, all that stuff." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, even today on an airplane, I mean, if I tell anybody, it s like, oh, here we go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has nothing to do with that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has nothing to do with being in a trance or being controlled by somebody." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So back when I was very young, I said, well, why don t I create a show that s the opposite of what people think?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s the opposite of the swinging watch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at the same time, make it highly entertaining, energetic, fun." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But can I show people how to do this?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I show people that really there s a secret here, but the secret s within ourselves?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And here I am today, and I kind of amorph" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "into not only doing the show, but really now teaching people how to do it from studying better, reducing stress, becoming a better version of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was, it was really important to me to not only have fun, but show people what this is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I guess my next question has to be, what is it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I don t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, what is hypnosis?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start from scratch." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Driving here today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You drive by yourself?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Did you drive?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep, I drove." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Kind of daydreamed a little bit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wandered off, you knew where you were going, you d been here before, you kind of knew where to exit, everything else." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you were kind of like in this highway hypnosis, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ever driven 10, 20 miles and all of a sudden you just blink, you couldn t remember how far you just got there?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you were still protecting yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Call to action comes in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If your safety or security was in danger, what would you do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You d snap out of it, whatever you were drifting off to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me go one step farther." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re in your car, you re at home, you re doing something and your jam comes on, your song, but nobody else is around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What do you do?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just start jamming out, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You lose yourself in the song." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you know the words, and even if you can t even carry a tune, you are literally into the moment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you hear your song and you re by yourself and you don t know who s looking," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no fear, there s no doubt, there s no preconceived judgment." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody s judging you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when you re hypnotized, all that doubt s kind of put off the side." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s in the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s going to protect you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re so hyper-focused on being in the now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I help people get rid of that feeling of, you know, fear of doubt or whatever it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that kind of enters the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that kind of controls your world, and be so hyper-focused on what the task is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I guess in the best thought process, to me, a state of hypnosis is not being asleep, being unconscious, or being in a trance." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although, when you see somebody hypnotized, setting them up in a situation, they might look slumped over like a rag doll." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But they re there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re there, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I can t walk up to somebody and go sleep, you know?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s kind of like this really great feeling of," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "relaxation, clarity, and you feel like you got this jolt of energy at the same time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How do you think it works?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like when it comes to sort of changing somebody s mindset completely, because so many people have had such powerful experiences with it, where they re able to like go against odds in statistics to quit something or" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "changed their mindset, they ve been able to fully transform their lives through this mysterious act." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How does that work?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about the minute you get up in the morning as you talk to yourself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that as you internally speak to yourself, it sets your day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For sure." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if you think and visualize somebody that s being hypnotized, aren t they being set up in reality by a suggestion?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you re with me so far." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if every word that we say to ourself internally, like our self-talk, we look in the mirror, we get dressed, we figure out if this looks good on us, whatever, you know, we do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody, I don t care." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Again, I ll say we all have that self-talk." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can be our best friend or our enemy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, but at the same time, we talk about the enemy like it s somebody else in the room." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my mind got the best of me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whose mind are you talking about?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, it s yours." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s very true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Realize that your internal voice can be your best friend or your worst enemy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if those words you say to yourself are that powerful, aren t you kind of hypnotizing yourself daily?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, let s go back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go even go deeper then with that question or that statement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then who is the most powerful hypnotist in the world?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I guess it s you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody has a moment in life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody has a moment during the day or a week where they re kind of misguided, misthought." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe a thought comes in the room and it kind of holds them back." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it s important to step back and reset sometimes and realize that that power that we re talking about this, and that s a powerful thing, because you asked me, where does it come from?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s individually us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is the way I m thinking of it, but I could be totally wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Hypnotizing somebody is putting them in a state where their voices are quiet." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So then you can then come in and you can put your voice in and you can and then their voices repeat it later." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is that it?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m hiring you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the greatest way of putting it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because honestly, that s, then you get it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m the kind of the catalyst here." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you said something that s so important because people need to get this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look at hypnosis or a hypnotist to make you do something, you will be looking forever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I have a subject that s really willing to experience, whether it s a show or self-care, understand I m not going to make you do something." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to help you get in the relaxed state." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to repeat what you just said." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to give you the suggestions, and then it s your job to what resonates with you to engrave it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we all live by our phones, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, they re the coolest thing ever." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We live by them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably not three feet from us on a regular basis, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Mine s under my butt right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m sitting on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, there you go." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we take full advantage to update the software that makes those things run." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A phone is basically a hard drive." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Without the software, it doesn t work." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our brain s the same way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our brain is this massive hard drive, but the difference between our brain and the phone, the phone is limited on its space." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your brain s not." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we update the phones to work better, why aren t we updating the most powerful hard drive in the world?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s up here because the brain basically works on the last message you send it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, it s gonna be a bad day." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, guess what?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something bad happens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You pretty much say, see, I told you so." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I really do believe that when we kind of connect with our own internal thoughts and we realize before we say something how powerful it is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hypnotize ourselves and then we realize it s my job to update my software right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s interesting because I think about myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and this could be a personality type thing or not, I m not sure, but I get stubborn about updating my software." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like in my brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re not alone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So like, for example, I think a lot of people know, whether we call it hypnosis or not, that the way that we talk to ourselves, the way that we speak out into the world, it s not nothing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s powerful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s, it s so bizarre because I think so many people have like this" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "mental block about fixing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I feel like people are very in denial of that truth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, have you seen that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Going back to what you said about where we don t update our software, we don t guide ourselves because we get comfortable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Sometimes we fear change." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We fear change because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "we think, well, if this changes, it might cause pain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Nobody gets in line for pain, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we get in line for something we want." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ll stand in line for 20 minutes for whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An ice cream sandwich?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I almost said that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet, at the same time, we will play out, well, why start if we re going to possibly fail?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we don t look at sometimes as change as an opportunity to grow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think when we step back and we realize we are all" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "students of life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The people you admire, the people you think are successful, they all have something in common." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They probably have something in common with the way they think and their mindset." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And the idea of people that are successful, not everybody is successful the first time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So you just got to show up for yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And you said something just a few moments ago about how powerful our words are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I say this to myself every single day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Words are magic to the receptive listener." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s me or somebody else." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never thought of hypnosis as something that you can do to yourself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All hypnosis is self-hypnosis." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I will fight any hypnotist that says that they have the power." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "to put somebody under." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, seriously, I think I almost laugh at the theatrical kind of magical, mystical swinging watch, the cape and all that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m like, seriously?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When I started, I m like, I m going to do the complete opposite." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We re going to dispel the fact that I have the power to put you under." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I always tell people, you have the remote control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, literally, you can either turn it up, turn it down, put me on mute, put yourself on mute, change the channel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s totally up to you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What s the difference between, like meditation keeps coming to mind, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So glad you re going there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, great." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This is awesome." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would you say the difference is between hypnosis and meditation?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, here we go." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You set it up." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Meditation, get present." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Get tranquil, get calm, get aware, whatever it might be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Just get really in tune with yourself and awareness." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But then when you think about meditation, when somebody goes, well, I meditated to visualize my future, I meditated to visualize my relationship, I meditated to, you know, to appreciate, to have happiness and gratitude." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, wait a minute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you re doing that, isn t that kind of self-hypnosis?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So very overlapping principles and titles." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So at times, I ll actually say I m going to put you maybe in a meditated state." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It depends on who I m talking to and what I m addressing, because at the end of the day, my success is based on your success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So this isn t about me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it s like inner power." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How many times, do you watch sports at all?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, but even if you- The Olympics, yes, gymnastics." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, all right, so perfect example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, so when an Olympic athlete is being interviewed after they just won whatever it is, think about what they might say if they were being interviewed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And if you can imagine somebody being interviewed, I bet you they give credit to their belief of their ability." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They usually talk about their belief in what they were gonna do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "The celebrities, the musicians, the actors, the actresses that have come from nothing and built up this huge career." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Usually they go, I just, I just believe in myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I want to thank all the people around me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And we just really had this vision." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Then they give credit to their talent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, the hard work, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So if you listen, look, listen to a gymnast or whoever it might be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They ll give credit second to the hard work and the pain and the ankles and the ice packs, but they give credit to their mind first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So think about anything that you think you re really good at and a winning feeling." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Would you give belief to that winning feeling based on your belief that you could do it first?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But it still took hard work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It still, it still was, you know, a lot of determination, a lot of resilience, but you gave belief to what you were going to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s almost like, it s because it s the hardest thing to keep in place." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like your hope." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But is it?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, I guess, see, that s also, you re so right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we convince ourselves that it s, it s a mind game." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, no." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Don t stop there." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You hit a really strong point because I m sure there are people right now that are listening to this going," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know what she means because we do this." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We, we put up this block." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I can t, I don t know if I m good enough." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Why try?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t think it s possible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We ve all said, I don t think it s possible at some part of our life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So why don t we do that?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, maybe is it a defense mechanism?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Cause we don t want to feel failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s always what happens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always use that as a defense mechanism." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, so" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But if we acknowledge it, because it s going to walk in the room." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I mean, it has the key to get in the door." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So when that fear comes into play or that defense mechanism that says, maybe, hey, maybe you should try this, because if you fail, people are going to look at you and they re going to judge you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And all of a sudden, well, wait a minute, you re human." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Let them sit in the corner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Give them a time out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Time out." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like one of those things that s so much easier said than done." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s why, you know," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "people come to you and they re like, I need to start." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need help getting started." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m curious what people come to you for." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because I can think of a million different things that I need to be hypnotized for." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "By the way, a million different things." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we ll talk about that later." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what do you find" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you can help the most with when it comes to starting people on that journey?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think self-awareness is first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I think when it comes down to it, you start to realize, I think this is one of the things I talk about in everything I do, the greatest investment you ll ever make in your life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All your material things, the expense of whatever it may be, and we do it, we covet our expensive stuff, we save our money for whatever it may be," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We protect it, we hold on to it, but it can be replaced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It might have sentimental value, whatever it may be, even if you saved up and you finally bought whatever it might ve been, it still can be replaced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But we do forget to put ourselves first." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And so I think that starts with getting people to really become very aware of self-care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I say self-care rather than say self-help." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Self-help sounds like there s a problem." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m helping." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, no, self-care." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, because we all have our issues." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll use myself as an example." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I recently was like, I m quitting nicotine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It has been so terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s actually what sparked my interest in hypnosis, because this shit is hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I just didn t even anticipate it being that hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, I know exactly what you re going to say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t have to be hard." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It doesn t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s so funny." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was at a party recently and I was talking to this kid about quitting nicotine and he got really into meditation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s just sort of a similar concept, but under a different lens, you know, an umbrella, a different umbrella." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But he was talking about how it was so easy for him to quit nicotine when he started meditating." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I was like, he just has something I don t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s all this self-talk." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because we assume it s because we look for the quick fix." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We look for the magic, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And it can t be that easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Listen, nothing in life is easy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But the more you do something, we get really good at it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say I were to come to you and say, OK, I want to quit nicotine." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would you do?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does the work" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "continue outside of the office?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you think that you can hypnotize somebody and they walk out that day and it s done?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or does the work have to continue in a way?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "If you think you re going to go to any hypnotist in the world and they re going to snap their fingers and you re going to walk out of one session, you might have success." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have shown people literally one time, cigarettes are the worst tasting thing they ve ever experienced." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Literally." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And yet life is unpredictable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So how do you kind of like guide yourself?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "you create habits of understanding how to do it yourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "My goal is, is that even when I, if I do work with somebody one-on-one, I ve worked with athletes and individuals" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "but I want to teach them enough skills, whether it s one, two, three, or even a whole month of coaching, that you don t rely on me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I ll give you a perfect example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Emma, I want you to visualize, just work with me for a second, we re gonna role play for a second, have a little fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m ready, I m so ready." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, I want you to visualize licking the bottom of an ashtray." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you have a cigarette right now?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I only ever used a vape." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "So used a vape example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So what if, what if, I m going to be visual for a second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if you dropped your vape in dirt, sand, grit, spoiled food, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Something gross." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What if you dropped it in something really disgusting?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would you put that vape in your mouth?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Fuck no." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So right now I m asking you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I, if I took your vape pen and just dropped it in, in muck water or just gross, if I, if I, perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, this is, I m going to get graphic here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I took your vape and dropped in toilet and came back out and said here." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "I ve dropped my vape in the toilet and I had to throw it out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You wouldn t put it in your mouth, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "No." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a visualization." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, and I ll tell you why this works so well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, if you, if an athlete stands there right before the pitch, the, you know, the, you know, the big game and they just visualize success, they visualize determination." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Uh, they visualize grit, you know, game on fierce feelings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re probably going to go out and play a great game." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if they stand, they go." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That opponent s really hard." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re going to be tough to beat." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are the, they ve just given themselves two rows, the destination success and failure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I use visualizations a lot with people in that relaxed state." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So right now you re hypnotized." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your eyes aren t even closed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you want a vape pen right now up against, you know, your lips, if it was just dropped in the toilet?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I, yeah, I don t need it right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I m not interested in that right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My job is then to show you how to engrave that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if that desire comes in the room, guess what comes in stronger, the visualization." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Everyone has hypnosis all wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Everyone is judging this concept beyond belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Totally agree." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think hypnosis is just mindfulness at the end of the day, but it s guided and controlled with a goal in mind." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just said it, guided and controlled." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So if I ask you to close your eyes right now, I m not gonna do it, but if I ask you to close your eyes, I m gonna help you relax really, really well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna help you get really, really comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m gonna help you just completely de-stress." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s where everything starts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s like the secret ingredient to baking a cake right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at that state where you stop thinking about your to-dos, your tasks, emails you have to do later on, who you re supposed to meet tonight, whatever, you don t think about those things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we just focus on that visualization of you dropping that vape pen in toilet water." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Oh, thank God." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it becomes such a strong conversation that s repeated over and over." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So again, going back to what you said, I think that there s a lot of misconceptions, predetermined thoughts based on" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "what hypnosis really is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And to me, it s just a guided meditation." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Now I m excited because I m not afraid of it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think I ve always been so afraid of the idea of hypnosis because I m a very anxious, paranoid sort of person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I have a tendency to, if I feel out of control, I panic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "And so to me, the idea of hypnosis, I m like, I feel like I m gonna be out of control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re absolutely right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are a lot of people who say, well, I would never be hypnotized because I don t want to feel out of control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, to be honest with you, you have more control than you think." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Well, I honestly think in a lot of ways, you know, based on what I m hearing so far, like hypnosis can give you more control if you are using it, if you understand it and you use it" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "within yourself, like you now have more control." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there are so many things that we cannot control in the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t control somebody else s opinion." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t control what we hear, but we can control how we perceive and react in our own reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have control over how somebody else s words are going to affect us, or do we believe in what we can do based on our own internal voice?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about what you want to do as you grow your brand and who you are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t have to share that, but you have internal beliefs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those internal beliefs are fed and fueled by you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the more and more you focus on that, even when something doesn t go your way and it s not going to all the time, how do you make sure that you are always in control over your destiny and you are?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "What do you believe is the best way" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "to keep the software in your brain at the most optimal point as often as possible." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Like how, how do you recommend up keeping your brain software?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m going to, I m going to go back to it again, because this is my philosophy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you just spend five or 10 minutes a day, five or 10 minutes a day to kind of reset, and you can do it multiple times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can do it in the morning, afternoon, you know, after a big, whatever it may be a big accomplishment every day," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we should be setting time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, I m gonna give everybody a task." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re listening right now, I m gonna give you a takeaway." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t dismiss the simplicity of this." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use your phone on a regular basis." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you set reminders on your phone?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "All the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right, so there s calendar of reminders, and you re sharing an alert with somebody, somebody sends you an invite, you have to do this at this time or meet them somewhere." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We rely on that message." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We hold ourselves, our name to it, we show up." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you don t just go, I m not gonna show up and not call that person." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, we made a contract, we made a promise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, my point s made." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How often do you set a reminder on your own phone for yourself to stop reset?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Never." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today s the day." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When this, when we re done recording, I m going to watch you do it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "I can t wait." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to see you put a reminder every day and repeat it every single day and you can move it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Might not be in the afternoon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Might be, it might be in the morning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Might be before you go to bed at night, but what if every day you spent five or 10 minutes just focusing on some new software, maybe being a little appreciative towards the things you had experienced that day, maybe just kind of resetting your, your thoughts." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, sometimes in life we look for the big, huge thing that s gonna happen to make us happy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we don t celebrate the small little things we do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I think it s important to, what s my win for the day?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Do you think hypnosis is targeting the conscious mind or the subconscious mind?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Wow, there s an overlap there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Or both, yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I think there s an overlap of what s unconsciously happening because in essence," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me ask you a question." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How unaware are we or do we think we are of being unaware?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I think most people are very unaware, myself included at times." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It could be anything from the things we say to the way we respond to things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I ll give you an example." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say I asked you to go to dinner and I mentioned the name of a restaurant." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s say three years ago you went there and it was horrible, worst experience ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when I mentioned the name of the restaurant, what happens?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "I mean, guttural." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "No, right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve not your subconscious pulled out of your memory bank, that software through that memory forward so fast because that s what it does." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I responded and said, no way I m not going with you." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You didn t even ask me, well, why do you want to go there?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there something I don t know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they ve changed chefs." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_02", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s different owner, new owner." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, but we ve all done." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve actually said it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not going back to that place ever again, but sometimes we have to hit the pause button again." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I m just, you know, I m having this conversation with myself, like going, okay, don t be so closed minded." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t be so fearful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can get out of control though." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not telling somebody to be so self, you know, critical of their thoughts because we don t want to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to get to a point where we re like judging now everything, we re questioning everything." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What am I saying the right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, I just want you to just kind of like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want to create this software that s constantly evolving and growing because everything about you, Emma, your personality, your likes, your dislikes, your feelings, your emotions, your arguments, your resolutions, your commitments, your gratitude." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s probably played out in your head on a regular basis all the time before it even happens." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_04", "text": "It s so true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Before you re given an opportunity to something, what does our mind do?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It starts to run through our head." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What would this be like?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is this possible?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can I do this?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Am I worthy?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what wins is the self-belief." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s one thing to tell yourself that you believe in yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s one thing to say that you re grateful for something." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "It s one thing to say you believe this will come true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "But what I ve noticed in my own life is that the only time that that truly works, that sort of manifesting truly works" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "is when I believe it in my gut." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Do you think that if you say something to yourself enough, it becomes true?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_03", "text": "Or do you think that there s something else that needs fixing in that situation?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our old limiting beliefs will either take us to a place of failure or doubt, or we have an opportunity to grow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to ask you a question." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ve been sitting here for a while." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to ask you a question and I want you to come up with the first answer without even thinking about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you going to quit nicotine?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It was not obvious for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I almost said no." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I literally was about to be like, no, because I don t want to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there you have it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, it sucks." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, but." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But yes, I will." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But now, OK, so now let s because everybody, I m sure there are people right now that can really understand your hesitation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So that was genuinely real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So the more we work on ourselves, the more we start to realize what we re capable of doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know deep down, just from our conversations, you re going to you re going to stop nicotine." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I know I will." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that pause in there, that that little pause." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what I m there to do, is help you with that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s figuring out why there s that hesitation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is to help you with that internal talk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you figure out, if you really do understand this, you re going to go, I want more." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Totally." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, it s already like melting my brain out of my ears and then reformulating it in a whole new way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But again, it goes back to, it s like, you just have these conversations, you figure out what direction you want to go." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you kind of touched on it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Does that self-talk really have that much power?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the answer is you ve already teed it up perfectly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": null, "text": "100%." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To zoom in on limiting beliefs, do we have to have some or do you think we don t need them at all?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Is it unsafe?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "To have no limiting beliefs." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that they re going to be there, and that s part of life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just how to navigate when something throws you a curveball." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When something is a storm, how do you rise above the storm?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not trying to be cliche here, but how do you rise above everything else going on in life and find the good of what just happened?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you fuel the fire?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do you show the force of nature who you are?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, you know, even if it s just something is that you think is so small, could be huge in the back of your thought process." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What I ve noticed with myself is I m the least in touch with." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "me when I m drowning myself in entertainment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I ve noticed that that s something I do as a coping mechanism." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like, when I don t want to software update my brain because that sounds like too much work, and when I don t want to address all of these changes that I know I need to make, I drown myself in entertainment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you binge watch?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I, for me, it s like, it s scrolling on Instagram, it s going on Pinterest, it s online shopping, it s watching YouTube videos that aren t educational, because I do love watching like an educational thing on YouTube, but I m definitely not doing that when I m trying to drown." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Like I m not, it s all, it s only things that are just, it s junk, you know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s junk for the brain, it s not helpful, it s not teaching me anything, it s, you know, it s that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I feel like we re in such an overstimulating time that it s harder than ever to properly hypnotize yourself, properly meditate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Okay, but see, I know you re gonna say it anyway." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You re gonna be like, it s not, it isn t hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It doesn t have to be hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go back to your- That s a limited belief." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are we gonna do after this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh my God." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What are we gonna do when we re done recording?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re gonna do, where s your phone?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re gonna make an appointment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Make an appointment." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you can change the time, because you re in control." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You set it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But think about if you just sat for 5 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we made an appointment for 5 minutes on your phone, and that alarm goes off, you know that s what you should be doing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you do that, then everything else just kind of is put off to the side and you focus on you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And whatever the task at hand is afterwards, whether it s calling somebody important, having a relationship with somebody, prepping for the next project, whatever you have, watch how easy it is everything else after that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch how more focused you are on whatever you re going to do after that 5 minutes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s interesting because I ve gone through phases where I ve been so dedicated to taking those five, 10 minutes and it s never lasted longer than like a few months." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "What s so interesting is I know how helpful it is and I know how beneficial it is, but yet I get lazy and I m like." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want it to be automatic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You want that to be an auto thought." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That like driving our car." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s go back to the beginning of this interview." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I said to you, driving your car becomes an automatic response called highway hypnosis." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "First time you ever got behind a wheel, you re probably nervous." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody can talk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t turn the radio." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t talk to me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t distract." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The second day you re like a pro." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So same thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You start to repeat something over and over again and maybe it won t disappear." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it becomes part of who you are, your personality." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything you do on a regular basis is repeated." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You got really good at that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you either get really good at the bad habits, or you get really good at the good habits." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At the good habits, yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because how often do you hear somebody saying, I have a habit of not vaping?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you ever hear somebody say that?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No, you hear, I have a habit of vaping." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We give it power." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yep." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to, you know, the good habits," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It sounds like to me, the best path to take towards establishing those good habits is to remove the limiting beliefs telling you that establishing those good habits is going to be challenging or impossible, and then just doing it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And that s it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "When it comes to bad habits, what s that, what s that process?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So you have a bad habit." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you stop the bad habit, what have you replaced it with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, sometimes people say they don t want to stop, you know, smoking or using nicotine or vaping is because they re fearful that they re going to start eating." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They take one vice and replace it with another one because it s a satisfying thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They use food as a comfort." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is vaping a comfort to you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, so let me ask you, I m not going to use you in the example here, but I m going to use somebody else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I ask somebody about smoking or vaping," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would usually ask them, where do you do this?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you take a break?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you do it in your home?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you do it in your car?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you walk away from everybody else and you walk outside just to have some personal me time?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so then you go a little deeper with that conversation." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So are you using the vaping as an excuse to get away from your reality to calm yourself down?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that inhale of oxygen, which our brain craves, our body craves, because oxygen is a source of life, source of everything." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We need it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Exactly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can t live without it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So are we really craving a little more oxygen to calm ourselves, to reduce stress?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it really the vaping or the nicotine that s reducing the stress?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or is it the timeout?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it the personal awareness?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is it a distraction from whatever, you know, it might be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then when you do quit using that as the excuse, what are you replacing it with?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And usually somebody will say, well, I don t, I usually, you know, food is usually my other comfort." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, maybe it s just breathing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everybody s different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But are you craving the vapor?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you craving more oxygen?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you craving time out?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Are you craving relaxation?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Does it relax you?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know what it is for me?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the, I ve always had an oral fixation, like since I was a kid, sucked my thumb, my whole childhood till nine years old, quit that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "very challenging." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "At like 15, I start vaping and it replaces that oral fixation because I m a very anxious girl." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We look at quitting a bad habit as like a loss almost in a weird way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "You know, like I think from my perspective, I ve almost felt a sense of loss when I decided I was going to like stop vaping." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re probably playing out something that hasn t even happened yet in the back of your mind." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I feel like" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh my God, my life, I m going to have, I m going to be missing something." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think it s so valuable for somebody who s trying to quit a bad habit to be like, no, I m not, it s not a loss." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I m replacing that with something else." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "So that replacement is so huge." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "And I didn t even think about that once during my ongoing journey of stopping, um, completely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "One day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Um, soon, soon, one day soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Uh, but we have time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We have time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But I think that replacement s huge because it s like, it s those moments when you re anxious or like, I ll use me as an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s the moments when I m anxious and all I want is a vape because I used to just hit the vape." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Think about what you re, you re asking." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re asking for a timeout." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Well, I m very inspired." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "That s for sure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Because I think I ve been enabling myself in a lot of areas to have bad habits, you know, to not be as self-aware as I know I want to be and should be." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I ve sort of" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve more recently convinced myself that that s too hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it really comes down to being able to spot the lies that you tell yourself is so, it s so powerful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I also think it s one of those things that once you re aware of it, you can t unsee it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Do you know how many people right now are listening to this that can" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "This resonates with them." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "How many people are sitting listening to this, driving a car, walking with friends, just listening to this conversation going, I understand that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I understand that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have a big decision." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have to, I have to apply for college." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I have to make a decision on this and it s going to be hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Or I have to go to work to do a new job I ve never done before." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s a limiting belief there." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "It s not just about breaking up bad habits, it s about exploring what s possible." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "But think about how many people right now have an overwhelming task of change and growth." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "They re not alone now." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like there s nothing else to say." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, there s more." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "We can go on." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, to be honest, we need a part two." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we need to do a whole episode about falling in love and how that s hypnosis." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the next episode." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re doing that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll pull you back in one day, because we have to do... I see careers, love." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "life, relationships." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Yeah, you can, you know, you can help." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never ending." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "No, it s not." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for doing this." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "Oh, you re awesome." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not the last time." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, you did." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You melted my brain in all the best ways." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Oh, my gosh." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_01", "text": "I love that." } ]
[ "\"None\"", "\"SPEAKER_00\"", "\"SPEAKER_01\"", "\"SPEAKER_02\"", "\"SPEAKER_04\"", "\"SPEAKER_03\"" ]
11,867
[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had an epiphany recently that for my entire life thus far, I have been trying to grow up way too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt this fire under my ass to grow up since I was in preschool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It started in preschool with wanting to find a boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Literally at three or four years old, I became obsessed with this idea of having a boyfriend because I wanted to be like the adults that I admired and all of them were in relationships." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so in preschool, I started having crushes on boys and I wanted to be in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that was pretty innocent and harmless." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In middle school and high school, it got a little bit more serious." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still wanted to be in a relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was less because I admired the adults in my life, and it was more because my peers would think it was cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To be mature was cool to my peers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to find a boyfriend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to have my first kiss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to lose my virginity." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to do all of these things that I knew deep down I wasn t ready for." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I knew that my peers would praise me if I did." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also tried to dress more mature when I was in middle school and high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I really wanted to buy short shorts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really wanted to buy a bra, my first real bra." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because that s what all the cool, mature people were wearing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And why were they wearing that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because they can." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their parents aren t telling them what to do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And again, wearing more mature clothing made my peers respect me more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In middle school and high school, I wanted to party." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to drink alcohol, even though it was so illegal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to randomly get with a guy irresponsibly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to do the party thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because participating in that made me cool, made me cooler to other kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In middle school and high school, I wanted to be more mature to impress my peers." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in my early 20s, everything turned upside down." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to be more like a real adult, like a 40 year old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have this desire to retire nightlife, start focusing on settling down, finding my future husband, maybe moving in together at some point, preparing for that life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my early 20s, I m talking about 20, 21, 22." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything turned upside down, and I wanted to be as adult as possible, now looking at 30 and 40-year-olds as my inspiration." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The reason why I wanted to become more adult is because I felt like it was praised by older adults everywhere when someone in their early 20s has their shit together." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, they re working on their future." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re retiring the nightlife." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re finding the person that they want to settle down with." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re planning to have a family." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think it gets a little bit more complicated when you re in your early 20s because I actually think that that s not a terrible focus to have." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I still believe that in a lot of ways that s a healthy focus to have if that s something that you want to do with your life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think it becomes unhealthy when you re forcing yourself to do it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you re forcing yourself to meet your forever partner." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re forcing yourself to move in with them." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re forcing yourself to retire nightlife because you want to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you naturally want to do those things, that s one thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if you re sort of forcing yourself to do it, then what you re really doing is just forcing yourself to grow up too fast in a way that s unnatural and unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had this sort of epiphany recently where I was like, hold on a minute." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 years old and I m trying to live like a 35 year old, 40 year old." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I doing that?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I not going out until five in the morning with my friends?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why am I not giving myself the space and room to be young and not be planning a family one day?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, holy shit, wait, sorry, that s weird." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m too young for that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t want to have a family until I m in my late 20s." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s my sort of goal for myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s what feels comfortable and right for me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, I m probably not going to be in that space for another five, six years." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a long fucking time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need a minute to enjoy this time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this epiphany also brought me back to middle school and high school." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, why was I trying to party back then?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, why was I trying to dress more mature than I was?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why was I doing all of these things?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it made me sad, actually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When I looked back at myself in middle school and high school, trying to grow up too fast, it s not necessarily a fond memory." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It came with a lot of anxiety and stress and pain." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t make me happy to go to parties." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t make me happy to force myself to date boys and kiss boys and do all those things." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It didn t make me happy to focus on my appearance and try to look more mature than I was." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It made me very unhappy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I remember I forced myself to have my first kiss, New Year s Eve of freshman year." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a funny story." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve told the story a million times, but basically my friends set it up for me because I was like, I need to kiss someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to kiss someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt so rushed." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they were like, well, we ll find somebody for you." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll set you up with someone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So they found someone who was interested and it was so set up, which is terrible." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I had never kissed anyone before, obviously it was my first kiss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And he like grabbed my butt and I like laughed during it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause I was like, what the fuck do you use?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just didn t even know that that was like a normal thing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I laughed and he was like, why are you laughing?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then he laughed at me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Cause he was like, oh my God, she has no idea what she s doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, funny story, haha." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the next day, I felt like I had exploited myself in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt like I had exploited my innocence." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Deep down, I wasn t ready for my first kiss." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really wasn t." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I didn t even want to have my first kiss, really." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I just felt pressured by society to do that." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I cried, I cried." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I cried for like the whole day after my first kiss because I felt like I had exploited myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was a similar thing when I would wear more mature clothing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I d wear really short shorts or I d wear like a bra." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt sort of wrong about it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was like, I know deep down that this doesn t feel like me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know deep down that I don t feel right." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is wrong." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I do it anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it made me feel bad about myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt gross." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt, you know, it just felt wrong to me." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s because it was, I sort of had this epiphany about all of this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I was like, I m done trying to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 years old right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m going to allow myself to enjoy it because I ve yet in my life to enjoy my age." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Based on my research, it seems like there are two reasons why we feel the pressure to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Number one, because we lacked proper care from our parents." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we were sort of forced to grow up too fast because we kind of needed to be our own parent." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But that s not what I m going to be discussing today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be discussing a sort of self-inflicted pressure to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "something that s almost impossible to prevent in a way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if there s anything parents can do to stop their children from wanting to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s something that happens when parents aren t around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s the way that young people interact when it s just them together, whether it s at school or" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "college or young people s first jobs or young people s friend groups, whatever it may be." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It tends to happen without the parents around." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I have incredible parents who protected me and did the absolute best they could to preserve my childhood." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I still feel like I grew up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think that there s anything they could have done." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They would tell me to enjoy my age." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They would tell me to enjoy the period of life that I m in." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was going in one ear and right out the other because my desire to grow up too fast couldn t be stopped by anyone or anything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was coming from other kids." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was coming from myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "there was nothing that could get in the way of it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So today we re going to be discussing the natural desire to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So why do some of us have this natural desire to grow up too fast?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a big part of it is to seem cool." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In middle school and high school especially, the cool kids in our age group were always the ones that were the most mature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m closing my eyes right now thinking of the cool kid in middle school and high school." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think of a kid who is in a relationship, throws parties at their house when their parents aren t around, smokes weed way too young." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the cool kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The kid that s participating in mature activities, even though it s incredibly inappropriate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the cool kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think a lot of kids feel rebellious by nature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We as humans don t always love being told what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, we usually don t like to be told what to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels good to rebel against your parents when you re young." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now I listen to my parents like Bible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like everything that they say." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, okay, you, I know that you know better than me, so please tell me, you know, but when you re a kid, you want to rebel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels fun and edgy to rebel against your parents." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And obviously most parents tell you, hey," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t go and do these mature activities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t dress too mature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t participate in mature activities." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t do things that don t make sense for your age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t do that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most parents clearly state those rules." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Young people love to break rules." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "not only does it make you seem cooler to your peers, but it also is satisfying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The feeling of rebellion is satisfying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But young adults who are in their early to mid-20s, it s cool to actually have your shit together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s cool to be 25 and to be living in a cute house with your partner." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s admirable to have your shit together at such a young age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sort of switches at that age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It becomes cooler to be like a super mature person, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think we feel the pressure to grow up too fast because societally, maturity is praised in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think a lot of it comes down to peer pressure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about the other people in your age group." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not to say that there aren t parents who try to force their kids to grow up too fast, because I think that that definitely happens, but that s sort of an extreme variable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I m trying to focus on today is" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this inevitable pressure to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a parent who s forcing you to grow up too fast is not inevitable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s actually like a toxic variable, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I want to talk about the inevitability of it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, even if you have the most perfect parents and everything s going right, you re still not safe from this pressure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think the reason for that is because it comes from your peers a lot of times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think young people want to grow up so fast to finally feel independent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this makes sense to me because independence is rightfully desirable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being able to control your own life is a really special privilege." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I don t think there s anything wrong with craving independence, because I think if we didn t have the desire for independence, we would never go and be independent, which eventually we all have to." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I wonder if that s something that we re biologically built to crave, and I didn t do research on it, so I ll have to, do I Google it now?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let me look." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I was right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My hypothesis was right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So according to the nationalinstitutesofhealth.gov, there s evidence that suggests that the desire for control is not something that we acquire through learning, but rather is innate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it s something we re born with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, yeah, that sort of supports what I was saying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, we innately want to be independent because independence equals control." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what comes with maturity?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "More independence a lot of the times, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The older we get, the more independence we acquire." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, I think a lot of young kids are weirdly embarrassed by their lack of independence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They wish that they could drive themselves around, make their own rules, make their own choices, but they can t." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the kids who have more independence are considered cooler because it s like, oh, they re more mature." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re more independent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have more of what I want, which is control over my life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re cooler than me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of young adults want to be as independent as possible to prove to everybody that they are truly an adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have transcended properly into adulthood." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re nailing it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have their shit together." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re a proper adult and they should be treated as such." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because being a young adult is interesting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re technically called an adult on paper, but yet people who are older than you," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "still kind of look at you as a kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "People look at me as a kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not a kid." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m a full adult." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can drink alcohol." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can have sex." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can drive a car." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I pay my own taxes." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I make my own money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is my brain fully developed?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It depends." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On average, apparently, your brain stops developing at 25." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So yeah, on paper, I m an adult, but my elders look at me as a child because I ve barely been an adult, for one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And for two, my brain might not be fully developed." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But more than anything, I d love to be seen as an adult because technically I am one, and so I want that, as do most other young adults, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But a lot of times, young adults don t get that cred yet." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s something you have to earn." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s why I think we want to grow up so fast." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to be cool, we feel peer pressure, and we want to be independent." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But see, it gets a little messy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gets a little sticky because growing up too fast, you know, feeling this pressure to grow up too fast is kind of similar to just naturally healthily maturing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up too fast and healthily naturally maturing have a lot of similarities in a way that makes them hard to distinguish at times." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in order to mature into an adult, we have to feel a level of discomfort in life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we have to feel a little fire under our ass to grow up because if we don t feel that at all, then we ll never grow up and we ll be kids forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t want to be kids forever." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we want to become adults because that s healthy for us, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s try to distinguish the difference between growing up too fast and naturally healthily maturing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think the difference is growing up too fast is forced and usually unhealthy, whereas maturing is more natural and organic and eventually leads to a fulfilling, happy, healthy life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up too fast is rooted in wanting to be cool, wanting to fit in, succumbing to peer pressure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not rooted in making choices that will lead to the life that you truly want to have." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It almost has nothing to do with you as an individual." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all about what other people want, what other people are doing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not about you, what you want, and what you naturally would do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re growing up too fast, you re following someone else s timeline." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we re all unique individuals." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have a different timeline, you know what I mean, that we should be following." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s sort of abstract, and it can change as time goes on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think growing up too fast tends to feel wrong in one way or another." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels wrong." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in the case of middle schoolers and high schoolers, they re doing adult things that at times are even illegal because that s what makes them feel cool." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s very obviously inappropriate and wrong, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m so sorry, but you can t look at a 15-year-old drinking and say to yourself," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that s healthy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s not good." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even me at 22 years old, retiring the nightlife, being a stickler about it, kind of leaving myself no room to explore it again if I wanted to, being super hyper-focused on eventually starting a family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, luckily I wasn t feeling pressure to like get married or actually have children, but rather" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "feeling like, okay, I need to make this a priority to, you know, figure out what that s going to look like." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t think it was the right time for me to be doing that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think what I need to be doing is just experience being young and not having that commitment to life." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I was sort of forcing myself into that mold and I don t think it was fitting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m 22." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I need to be young, dumb, and random." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to be not going out and like, not just enjoying being 22." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t need to be planning out my fucking family at 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, okay, relax." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, okay, my love, relax." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You need to go out, experience a bar and a club every once in a while." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stay out till five in the morning, see how that feels." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you know, if naturally I am like, you know what, I m not" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "really in a phase where I want to go out anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not really in a phase where I want to socialize right now." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not really in a phase where I want to feel like a 22-year-old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I kind of want to feel like a 40-year-old. " }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Then I ll do that, but that s obviously not what I want." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Do you see what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The point is, I think growing up too fast feels forced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels forced." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In one way or another, it feels wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that leads to a worse quality of life because when you re trying to force yourself into a mold and you don t fit, you re never going to be happy that way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Whereas I think a healthy rate of maturing is much more natural." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s much more organic." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not to say that it s always fun and easy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, a lot of times we mature the most during challenging experiences, but that s the beauty of challenges in life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, it forces us to grow up a little bit and a lot of times we need that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I should distinguish a healthy challenge from an unhealthy challenge." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say a healthy challenge is something normal, natural and inevitable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Your first breakup, losing friends, failing a test at school, like, I don t know, those types of things where it s like," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, it s going to happen to everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think an unhealthy challenge is some sort of trauma, some sort of unfair circumstance that nobody should have to experience." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Unfortunately, many of us experience challenges that are unhealthy, unfair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not really referring to that right now because that s a whole other variable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m talking about a healthy rate of maturity that comes just through life s natural challenges, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we also become more mature when we re forced to step out of our comfort zone in a way that feels right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As our brain develops, we suddenly have the capacity to do new things." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not always going to be comfortable." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In fact, it s going to be scary at times, but I think it s a sign that it s the right time when you do those things and afterward you feel empowered." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s a sign of healthy maturity." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do something that s a little bit more mature, and then afterward, you re like, wait, I feel better about myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Growing up too fast is when you do something because you felt like you had to, because you have this pressure to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You do this thing, and then afterwards, you feel wrong." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel dirty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel broken." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might feel more accepted by your peers, but deep down inside, you don t feel better about yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know that that didn t feel right." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think at the end of the day, maturing at a normal rate does make life better in a lot of ways." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I said, about 15 times, it does come with challenges." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does come with discomfort, but you always end up feeling better than you did before." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I think about my first kiss." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If I would have waited a bit longer for my first kiss, if I would have waited for it to happen naturally, when I was ready, when there was someone in my life who I wanted to kiss," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I would have felt really excited afterwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I would have felt elated." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But, you know, because I rushed myself to do that, I felt bad about myself afterwards." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt stressed out." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I felt weird." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that s the difference between growing up too fast and naturally maturing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, why is it unhealthy to grow up too fast?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Obviously, I ve mentioned vaguely a few reasons why it s unhealthy, but let s really zoom in." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s such a shame to prematurely lose the carefree sense of childhood and young adulthood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to be dealing with shit too heavy for our age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, there s a reason why we have this sort of established timeline for human beings." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a reason for that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A 15-year-old is too young to be drinking alcohol." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A 15-year-old is too young to probably even have a boyfriend, to be honest." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although, if I had a kid, I don t think I would not allow them to date at a young age, because I did." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had a boyfriend in fifth grade, and then I had a boyfriend in... Oh, no, I didn t have another one until I was, like, 17." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I played around with boys here and there, but never dated them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It was like a short fling always." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I kind of dated in high school, but not really." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I d prevent that, because I think it s something that young people desire so much that I don t know if I would not allow my kid to date." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if that seems fair." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, if my parents didn t let me date, I probably would have done it anyway, and I probably would have been more irresponsible, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a reason why, you know, a 15-year-old s not getting married." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It comes down to brain development." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It comes down to the ability to comprehend certain subjects at a young age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It comes down to the pressure and the danger of certain things at a young age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s so many reasons why we re not exposed to certain things when we re young." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we are exposed to those things, it rips away our carefree sense of childhood and young adulthood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It reveals the harsh reality too soon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there s no reason to do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, we have our whole adult lives to face the pressures of maturity and adulthood." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s no reason to rush that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just too heavy." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think growing up too fast can potentially prevent wholesome memories." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When it comes to childhood, innocent, sweet memories are so fond to look back on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the more of those that we can have, the merrier." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have so many special memories with my young cousins." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I didn t have siblings growing up, but I had cousins who were around my age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we used to do the most fun, innocent shit." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know like we would steal food from the pantry like we d steal like candy from the pantry of one of our parents house and we d go and hide it in the closet and we d eat it and like of course our parents knew they were like it s totally fine but but we loved it it was so fun we wanted to be sneaky what a beautiful memory that is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or like, that sounds like our parents did not let us ever have treats." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That is not true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s just something fun about the mischievous, like, oh, we re creeping into the kitchen and we re stealing marshmallows from the pantry and we re sneaking into the closet and we re, you know, we have a flashlight and it s like an adventure." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, trust me, we had incredible parents, but it was like this fun adventure or even" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "taking chalk and like breaking it up in water like a big bucket of water and like then adding leaves and then adding like dirt and like mixing it up and turning it into like witch s cauldron and it s like oh this is the witch s cauldron and then it s like you know one of us would touch it and then everybody would run away because you d be like now you re a witch or whatever like stuff like that is so" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sweet." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I think back on those memories, obviously me telling you right now, you re like, that is so boring." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the most boring memory you ve ever." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "where s the drama?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me, you know, when I close my eyes at night and I think of a memory like that, I feel warm inside." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a shame to lose those memories due to trying to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a young adult, trying to grow up too fast means trying to be like a 40-year-old, you know?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that means no partying with your friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That means no being single and hooking up with random people and like experimenting there." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It means throwing all that away." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To some, that s fine." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s not fun." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say I m even one of those people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love going and hooking up with random people necessarily." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t love going to a party and getting super drunk all the time." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, I m not obsessed with that stuff." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s why I was more prone to wanting to retire all of that and turn into a 40-year-old early." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it was complicated because it was also paired with" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "this subconscious desire to be mature." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I ve recently been trying to figure out, you know, what s the middle ground for me, because I m not into all of the stereotypical 22 year old activities, but there are definitely a few that I do enjoy that I was suppressing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that I missed out on some memories between the ages of" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "20 and now, because I didn t want to allow myself to be my age." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I didn t want to allow myself to be a 20, 21, 22-year-old." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wanted to be more mature than that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I m allowing myself to have a bit more fun, go and hang out with friends until five in the morning." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not somebody that likes to drink a lot, so I don t do that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I love the feeling of being up late and hanging out with friends and going all night." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I like that vibe." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t like the drinking, so I don t do the drinking." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "do the drugs, but I like that piece of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I m kind of leaning into that piece of it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, that s sort of an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s been so fun for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ve made so many memories already by allowing myself to do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think in general, being a young adult comes with this sort of freedom, this perfect balance of freedom." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you re old enough where you don t have to report to your parents." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can make your own rules." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at the same time, you don t have the responsibility of having a family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And some people don t ever have a family." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But for me personally, I m somebody who does want to have a family one day." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And eventually, that s going to be a huge responsibility for me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when I have kids and a husband, I m not going to be able to go out and do my thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t get to go and do my thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Those days are over at that point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s still going to be fun times then, but it s going to be different." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And right now is my time to be a 22 year old and make these fun memories with friends." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it d be such a shame to lose out on those memories because I was trying to rush" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "being a fucking 40-year-old, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I also think the pressure that we put on ourselves to grow up too fast sets unrealistic standards for ourselves, which can negatively impact our self-esteem and overall wellbeing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re trying to do things too soon, which will almost always lead to failure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you go against your natural path," }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you ll almost always fail." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now that s totally fine because failure is crucial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like we have to fail." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how we learn." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But the failure comes because we set unrealistic standards for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unrealistic for a lot of us to be ready to be a full, full, full adult in our early twenties." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not going to be able to fulfill that desire and inevitably we re going to be upset about it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, I think growing up too fast can lead to a sort of regret in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, regret is a controversial feeling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some people believe that we should not feel regret because, you know, without our experiences, we would not be who we are." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it was sort of our destiny to experience what we did and to make the choices that we did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Other people think that regret is a necessary emotion, you know, because even though we can t change the past, we should be aware of where we went wrong, you know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know where I fall." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I probably fall somewhere in between, but I think I lean more towards the no regrets side of things because again, we can t dwell on what is already done in a way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I guess we should dwell on it to an extent because we have to learn from our past experiences." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I say dwell, I mean, we don t want to just sit in this state of feeling regret." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it s much more beneficial to look at our past decisions and say, okay, what would I do differently now?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How can I use that to make my current life better?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I definitely have certain" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I want to say regrets, but it s kind of the only word I can think of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, I guess I could say I m sort of upset about some of the ways that I force myself to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I sometimes wonder if my childhood would have been happier had I not forced myself to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Luckily, I m only 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I haven t wasted my 20s too badly yet trying to be a 40-year-old, so I still have some time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I caught it early for this phase of my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know if I regret it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Even though I felt somewhat exploited by myself at times, I think that experience led me to avoid peer pressure, avoid the opinions of others, because I felt the pain that came with succumbing to it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So I don t really regret what I did." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I would be who I am without it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, in an ideal world, I was born with this sense of self where I never would listen to peer pressure." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I found my sense of confidence and self-esteem within myself, but that s just unrealistic." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think I almost had to succumb to that peer pressure in order to become the person I am today, who doesn t really care what people think is cool as much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I kind of march to the beat of my own drum now, and I think that is completely as a result of how vulnerable I was to other people s opinions when I was younger." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I wish that young kids were able to take advice in the way that young adults and adults are able to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if there s a way" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to prevent young kids from this desire to grow up too fast." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know if I know anyone who hasn t felt that desire." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe in some ways it s crucial for our development." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it all is rooted in our innate desire to be independent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe that s just how it manifests in a lot of people or a lot of kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe it s inevitable." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think what we can do is try our best, you know?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to explain to the best we can, to the kids that we know, that there s no rush." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have your whole life to dress how you want, party like you want, be an adult." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Enjoy this time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Have fun being young." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I don t know if the kids will listen, because I know that I didn t." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a shame, but I think when it comes to young adulthood, it s much easier to take the advice because your brain is just more developed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we as young adults need to stop forcing our life to happen." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have to enjoy our youth for as long as we can and protect it for as long as we can and trust that we ll be full adults one day and it ll all fall into place if that s what we want it to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I m saying?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to have the perfect job at 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to have the perfect relationship at 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t need to have the perfect home at 22 years old." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That can all come later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all I have for today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all she fucking wrote, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s all she wrote." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I feel like such a pessimist talking about this whole thing and not feeling like there s a solution in a way, especially for younger kids." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But maybe it s not my job to find that solution." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe I ll find that solution at some point." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe when I have kids, I ll figure it out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I have a feeling it s really gonna be an interesting challenge when I m a parent." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s going to be one of my goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, how can I preserve this child s childhood to the best of my ability while not sheltering them to a point where, you know, they re not maturing at all?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s finding that balance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know how I m going to do it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And maybe it s not possible, but I m not giving up just yet." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s going to be a long time before I have a baby." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No pregnancy rumors until I m at least 28." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if I see a pregnancy rumor before then, you gotta know it s not a baby, it s food." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So just don t say anything until I m at least 28." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And don t be brute." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you should never assume if someone s pregnant." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So know that, okay?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Stop being an asshole." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t ever assume." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s truly the worst thing you could do, honestly." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Is there something worse that you could do?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yes, but barely." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s one of the worst things you can do is assume someone s pregnancy." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Don t do that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anyway, that s all I have to say today." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed this episode." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you did, tune in Thursdays, Sundays, every week for Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can listen to audio anywhere you stream podcasts, but for video, you must go to Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Although this episode was audio only because I m in a hotel room and I ll be honest, it s a mess in here." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My suitcase exploded and I don t want anyone to see it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So audio only this week, but most of my episodes have videos." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So check that out on Spotify." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain if you want to keep up with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the most delicious coffee." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the most delicious tea." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have the most delicious matcha." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have all the beverages that you can dream of." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So go check it out, chamberlaincoffee.com." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go on the store locator, see if we re in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use code AG15 if you re checking out online." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have to say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for listening." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you for hanging out with me." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I hope that you enjoyed it." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Talk to you later." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Love and appreciate you very much." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, bye." } ]
[ "\"SPEAKER_00\"" ]
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[ { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m not super excited to admit this, but I m going to anyway." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Throughout my life, I ve gone through phases of low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now this I m not embarrassed to admit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is normal." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all experience this." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What I am embarrassed to admit is one of the things that happens during these phases of low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For as long as I can remember, phases of low self-esteem has caused me to fixate on one person to compare myself to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "one specific person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, it changes every time." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Each phase of low self-esteem comes with a new person to compare myself to incessantly." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But without fail, I always find one person that I believe is better than me in every single way that I decide to compare myself to throughout the duration of the phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Part of me is, like, impressed by my subconscious that my brain just decides to pick one person that, for whatever reason, is my god during the, you know, duration of the phase." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, it s so bizarre that my brain decides to choose one person, but for whatever reason," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It does, and usually it s through social media." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not always, but usually." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will compare myself to this person in every single way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Their appearance, their relationship, or lack thereof, their friend group, their job, their family situation, like everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I choose one person and I just use them as a weapon against myself." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I will never admit to anyone who those people are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there s been probably 50 of them throughout my life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s always one person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I chose to admit this today because I m talking about comparison today." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I was particularly inspired to do this because I m in a phase where I sort of have low self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to be honest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "My self-esteem is a bit low right now." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not exactly sure why." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some things going on in my life that I think" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "could be causing it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I m in a phase where I m clinging on to one person." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s one person right now that I cannot stop comparing myself to." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re out there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re in the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And, you know, I hope they re doing really well." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I hope that they re not comparing themselves to anyone." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In my brain, they re not comparing themselves to anyone because in my mind, they have a perfect life." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s how this shit works." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But in reality, they probably are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re human, you know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s start with what comparison is." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison is a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A pretty normal human instinct." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Using comparison is helpful when comparing inanimate objects." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like when you re at the grocery store and you need to choose which apple to put in your cart, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You look at one apple and it s perfect and red and delicious looking." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then there s another apple that has a little patch of mold on it." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we didn t have the ingrained ability to compare things, we wouldn t know to compare things and we would just grab the first apple that we saw." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s important that we have the ability to compare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when it comes to comparing ourselves, it gets a little bit more complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can compare ourselves to others in two different ways." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "One, upward comparison." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is when we compare ourselves to someone who we feel is better than us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Downward comparison is when we compare ourselves to someone who we feel is worse off than ourselves." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Today we re talking about self-comparison because comparison in any other scenario is so boring." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Can you imagine if I spent like a half hour today just talking about why it s good that we compare apples to apples when we re at the grocery store?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know what I mean?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s how you would know that I maybe shouldn t have a podcast anymore." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like, that s bad." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re just talking about comparing ourselves to others today, because that s really when it gets complicated." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s when this ability that our brain has gets a little tricky, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gets a little messy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I personally go through phases, and I think we all probably do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes I don t compare myself to others at all." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Or if I do, I only compare myself in a motivational way." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m looking at people who are maybe doing better than me in some area as motivation, as inspiration, as a role model." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is usually when I m in a more comfortable and confident state of mind." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m feeling content and happy where I m at." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I m looking at the world through a very positive, happy lens." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then sometimes I go through phases where I m in an insecure frame of mind and I m comparing myself to everyone and everything." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And my special one person that for whatever reason is my beacon of success." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s really miserable." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s figure out why we compare ourselves to others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I did a little research because I didn t know." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, to start, it s human nature." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s completely normal to compare ourselves to others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re social animals and we re wired to pay attention to what others are doing for our own survival and well-being." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We start comparing ourselves at a very young age." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I read an example online." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a kid and you see your friend with a toy that you don t have," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You feel angry, you feel jealous." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because you re comparing yourself to your friend." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As a kid, you don t quite understand material value." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only explanation for that feeling to come in a child is this ingrained ability to compare." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re a kid, societal pressures, societal norms don t play a role." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The point is, it s something that s ingrained in us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison is ingrained in us." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Low self-esteem can also cause us to compare ourselves to others." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we believe that we suck, we try to look around to find proof that that s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our brain likes to" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "find facts." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when we have low self-esteem, we believe that we suck." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We believe that we re shit." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so our brains start trying to find proof that that s true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we ll look around and start comparing ourselves to others to prove to ourselves that we suck, that that hypothesis is true." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also compare ourselves to others to figure out where we sit in society, to ensure that we re keeping up with the pack." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because again, we re social animals and we use other people as a gauge to see how we re doing." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re wired to pay attention to what other people are doing, to compare ourselves to what other people are doing, to ensure that we re doing what we gotta do." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison sort of keeps us in check in a way, it keeps us on track." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helps us figure out how we measure up to other people in our community and world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we want to bring something of value to our community, to the world." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We want to be successful." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also compare ourselves to help us determine what areas we need some self-improvement." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparing ourselves to people we admire can motivate us to grow and be better people." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is sort of the idea of having a role model, right?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, comparison can be good and bad for us, okay?" }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But let s start out with how it s bad for us, because the list of how it s bad for us is far longer." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So let s start there." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve probably heard the quote, comparison is the thief of joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What a great Pinterest quote." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve probably pinned that before onto your Pinterest." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go onto your Pinterest right now and go down to your inspirational quote board and find that quote, because you will." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Huge quote, the Beyonce of quotes." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s a simple quote, but I think it does hold a lot of truth." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can really ruin moments of joy in life by convincing us that we could and should have more." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "For example," }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we may have a perfectly happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship, romantic relationship." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This relationship brings us so much joy." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if we start comparing our relationship to other relationships that look perfect at face value, we might destroy the joy that could come from that relationship because we re looking around and we re like, they look even happier than we are." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So maybe our relationship isn t so great after all, when in reality, the relationship that you re in is gorgeous and amazing and healthy and happy and fulfilling." }, { "chunk": "0", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can destroy something that" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "is incredible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Another example, we may have a perfect enjoyable job that pays the bills and gives us joy through community and maybe financial freedom, who knows?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s always someone out there who has a better job, who makes more money, who has an even stronger community," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if we decide to compare ourselves to that person, we will strip all the joy from the job that we used to love and feel fulfilled by." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Last example, we may feel confident in our appearance in a way that brings us joy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we like putting makeup on or wearing certain outfits or just looking in the mirror with no makeup on and finding the things that we like about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It sounds hard to imagine, for me anyway, because the moments that I have where I feel confident in my appearance are fleeting." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I tend to find confidence and joy in other elements of my personality and myself." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I have a really hard time with the appearance bit of it, but" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are moments where I m like, OK, cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, she s cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s rare." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we may feel confident in our appearance in a way that brings us joy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s always someone out there that we re going to find that we think is better looking than us." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Always, always, always, always, always." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that can destroy the experience of joy that we have around our appearance." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can destroy the joy that we get from waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and being like," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay, actually kind of cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can destroy the joy that we get from getting dressed in an outfit that we find cute." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of a sudden we re seeing the way that our body looks like in this outfit and we re like, oh, but this other person looks so much better in this outfit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You get the idea." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can also be harmful because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s usually largely inaccurate and or unfair to ourselves in the sense that we ll never be able to live up to the comparison because we set ourselves up for failure." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We almost never know the full story of other people s lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We usually just see the highlight reel or the low light reel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not seeing the full picture." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re seeing and hearing about the biggest moments, usually." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We never see the full picture, which means that we re seeing people s lives through a distorted lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not seeing things accurately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So when we compare ourselves to other people, we re comparing ourselves to something that is not completely well-rounded." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everyone s life is complicated and dynamic." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nothing is ever completely perfect or completely terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We only see our own lives accurately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And even at times we don t see our own lives accurately." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we actually can have a distorted lens about our own lives as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we definitely see other people s lives through a distorted lens." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would argue 99% of the time." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not in their brain." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re not living there every day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We don t know everything that they re feeling, experiencing, thinking about, dealing with." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We just don t know, and we never will." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Not to mention a lot of people exaggerate things and that further leads to distortion." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s unhealthy for us to compare ourselves to others in a way that s too cut and dry because we re comparing ourselves to something that is inevitably going to be somewhat inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can t take other people s lives at face value and not take it with a grain of salt a little bit." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re comparing yourself to someone who you think is better than you, like someone who makes more money than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might compare yourself to them and think that you re a fucking loser because this other person makes more money than you, is more successful in their career than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what you don t see is how miserable their job is." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You just see them on Instagram on vacation." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what you don t see is them at work every day fucking miserable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe the community at their work sucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe their hours are terrible." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They have no flexibility." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They never get to see their family." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But you re comparing yourself to their wealth." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to their Instagram or they re on vacation for the one week a year they get off." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all you re seeing." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s an example of how our delusions can lead to comparison that is somewhat unnecessary." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because if you knew the full story, you d probably be like, I don t know if that s actually worth it." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like that s not a situation that I actually envy." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This also applies to downward comparison when you re comparing yourself to someone who you think is worse off than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, for example, you may compare yourself to somebody who makes less money than you." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, you might be miserable in your job, but you re like, at least I make X amount of money." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this person makes a third of how much I make." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That sucks." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s miserable." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But what you might not see is how much they love their job." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe they make a third of what you make, but they have an incredible community at their work." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And they really enjoy what they re doing, and it s fulfilling for them." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you were to see that side of it," }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You might say, oh, you know, this person is actually doing really well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re actually not worse off than me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Right." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe in some ways they re actually better off than me." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "we can compare ourselves to ourselves as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And at times, we have a realistic view of our lives and who we are and how things are going." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at times, that can be distorted as well." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Depending on our frame of mind, we can have a completely distorted lens on our own lives." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we all tend to compare ourselves to our past selves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Our memories tend to be distorted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes they re not, but a lot of times they are." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might look back at a time of our life and think, wow, that was my golden age." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re looking at photos and you re like, oh, that was my peak." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there s a good chance that that s sort of distorted." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In moments when we re comparing ourselves to our past, it might not be as accurate as it should be in order to compare in a way that is helpful." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think social media really exacerbates inaccurate and unfair comparison because these days we tend to compare ourselves to people s social media presence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is always inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m going to come out with a crazy claim right now and say that social media is always inaccurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It is never, ever, ever, ever accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say that I m myself on social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t think I m not being myself, but I am absolutely posting the highlight reel of my life on my social media." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Absolutely." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m posting in my best outfits." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m posting with my prettiest makeup on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m posting the best angles of myself because." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just sort of ingrained in what we do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I mean, there are times when I post maybe an unflattering angle or something or something a bit more accurate, but not really like I m not posting on Instagram when I m having a full mental breakdown." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve done that." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "OK, I actually have done that before." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But even that is like romanticized." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like usually like a cute picture of me crying." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s at least a cute one." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s impossible for social media to be accurate." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The only way it could ever be accurate is if you were live streaming what you were doing 24 hours a day." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the only way that you could ever have a truly accurate social media presence." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one does." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And these days, we see most people through social media, and that s where we compare ourselves." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s a huge issue because, as we all know, it s the highlight reel." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s all the best moments." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On top of that, so many things are faked, exaggerated, facetuned, photoshopped, filtered." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The list goes on." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should really strive to never compare ourselves to people on social media because" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s so painfully inaccurate that we re never going to win that battle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The way I look at it is like someone on social media is the idealized version of themselves, right?" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not new news." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We see ourselves as a fully dynamic person." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We see the good, we see the bad, we see the ugly." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re never going to win the battle of comparison when we re comparing ourselves to an idealized version of someone." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We ll just never win that battle." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So we shouldn t even try." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s what I try to do." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as I mentioned in the beginning of the episode, I have these moments where I ll find a person that, for whatever reason, I think is just" }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing better than me in every category of life and I ll cling on to them and I ll fixate on them and compare myself to them in every single way." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And nine times out of ten it s someone that I found on social media who I don t even know." }, { "chunk": "1", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ve never even met them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But when I m in a moment where my self-esteem is low..." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I can t help myself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t have the mental strength to self-talk and remind myself that social media is not accurate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s all fun and games until you re in a vulnerable moment and you don t have the strength to see through that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s tough." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can also convince you that you are a terrible, embarrassing, piece of shit failure when that is not the reality." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In reality, you could be doing really well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you re in a healthy, happy relationship." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a good group of friends." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You have a good job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re up in the ranks at the job." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could be doing really well on paper, but comparison can convince you otherwise." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we become addicted in a way to upward comparing ourselves too harshly and unfairly, we can convince ourselves that we are doing bad." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can undermine our accomplishments, successes, and personal journey, ruin all chances for celebration, and just convince ourselves that we re failing." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is unfortunate," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "when in all reality we re succeeding." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we should celebrate our success." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there have been so many times in my life when I ve been" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing really well, but I ve convinced myself that I was failing and it ruined the experience for me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m able to see that now in retrospect, but in the moment, I couldn t see how great my life was." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I couldn t see how successful I was because I was so convinced that I wasn t shit because there were hundreds of people doing better than me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can also be harmful when you fall into a state where you re relying on it for your self-esteem and confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We can fall into a state where comparison upward and downward determines our self-esteem and confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "The problem with that is" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It makes your self-esteem and confidence painfully inconsistent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is crucial for well-being." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ideally, we find our self-esteem and confidence from within." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Finding self-esteem and confidence through comparison is not finding it from within." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Deep down, we should feel good about our morals and our work ethic and our inner beauty and our outer beauty." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because we look in the mirror, we reflect on our actions, we reflect on our work ethic, and we feel good about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s the healthiest way to find self-esteem and confidence, by determining it based on what we know about ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But at times, we can t find that from within, and we start searching for it through comparison outside of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And when you re looking outside of yourself, you ll constantly be met with different extremes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll compare yourself to somebody who s far below you and you ll get this boost of self-esteem and confidence." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m fucking slaying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m nailing it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m slaying." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m doing so well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "They re shit and I m the princess of all the land and I m doing so well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look at me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I m slaying and I m more gorgeous than them." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Ooh, I m more gorgeous." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, you get this meteoric rise of self-esteem and then" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You see somebody who makes more money than you, who has a hotter partner than you, who goes on more vacations than you, who has more friends than you, and all of a sudden you have this meteoric fall and you feel like shit about yourself and your confidence is all the way down on the ground." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you re looking outside of yourself to determine your self-esteem, you are just going to be swinging back and forth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "to both extremes." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And ideally, your self-esteem should be more level and consistent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the way to have that is to find your self-esteem within yourself." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But we all have moments where we rely on comparison for our self-esteem." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s a matter of figuring out when you re in a phase like that and being like, OK, wait a minute, I need to look within." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being a person who compares a lot can be unhealthy socially as well." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It can make us toxic to be around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we re constantly upward comparing ourselves to others, we may feel the urge to bring others down to our level." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might make rude remarks." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We might sabotage others success because we re upward comparing ourselves so much that we feel terrible and we don t know what to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So without even realizing we re doing it at times, we might turn into bad people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is not good for us socially." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "On the other side of things, when we re constantly downward comparing ourselves to others, our ego might become terribly inflated in a way that makes us seem cocky and rude, which again, makes us not fun to be around." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All of a sudden, all of this comparison that we re doing has led us to a worse life for ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Now, what a bummer that is and how ironic that is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re always comparing ourselves because, in theory, we want to be the best version of ourselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But if we compare ourselves too much, we can end up with a worse life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s kind of ironic because I m of the belief that life is sort of about other people in a way." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "doing good for other people, creating meaningful connections with other people, loving other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "As I m entering adulthood, I m realizing how true that is." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that was not something that I believed up until recently." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I never thought that that was the meaning of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I always thought that the meaning of life was more about happiness." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I still think that that s true to an extent," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think happiness a lot of times comes from the things that we can do for other people, the connections that we can create with other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Listen, I m still working through that philosophy to an extent." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So listen, don t take that too seriously, but you get the idea." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparison can also negatively boost our ego." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know I kind of just said this, but let s zoom into it for a second." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Downward comparison can destroy our humility and inflate our ego to a point where we believe that we re better than we are." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being confident is one thing, and we should all strive to be confident because we fucking deserve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all deserve it." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re good people and we re doing our best, we deserve to feel confident." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "End of story." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But confidence is different than an inflated ego." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An inflated ego is delusional." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Confidence is rooted in reality, right?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s acknowledging where we succeed" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "while still acknowledging where we fall short." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s confidence to me." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Inflated ego is just convincing ourselves that we re the fucking best when no one s the fucking best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "No one." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An inflated ego, I feel like, is about you against the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s about you being better than other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Confidence is not about you being better than other people." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just about you being good, period." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think that that s what separates the two." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In reality, no one s the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re all flawed." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have improvements to make." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s just the truth." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s fact." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Yeah, okay, maybe some people are" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "more successful, have better morals, have a better life than others." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s true." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s kind of an example of the unfairness of life." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But also, that s impossible to calculate." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "in a way, because we never know everything about everyone." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it s pointless to even try." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so we should never compare ourselves to others to inflate our ego." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Being in this state of mind can prevent us from being humble, which makes us better people, can prevent us from establishing a growth mindset," }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In order to have a growth mindset, you have to acknowledge the fact that you re not the best and you never will be." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ll always have more to improve upon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And what a beautiful thing that is, that we re all on a journey where we all have shit we have to improve upon." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How cool is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That nobody is perfect." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Nobody is done working on themselves." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We all have work to do." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How comforting is that?" }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you have an inflated ego, though, you re not thinking about that." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re like, no, I m good." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I am on top of the world." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m the best." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And then you forget that you have more to work on." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So then you re not going to grow anymore." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So those are all the ways that comparison can be harmful." }, { "chunk": "2", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But as with all things, it s not all bad, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s not all that actually." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Okay." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are some some things that are just all bad I m like thinking of various things that are just all bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And now I m like, well You know, not everything has that duality to it, but I think comparison does I think there are times when comparison can be beneficial and I did some research on it to make sure and it was true comparison is not all bad Upward comparison can help motivate us to improve ourselves and better our lives Let s really think about it for a second" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Would we get anything done if we didn t compare ourselves to others?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Like a little healthy comparison motivates us to get shit done." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It lights a fire under our ass to improve ourselves." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shows us where we can grow." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It shows us where we can improve." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gets us up out of bed." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like, oh, I want to be like that person." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it also helps us set goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "which is very beneficial because having a goal to work towards makes life better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It keeps us busy in a healthy way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It gives us purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Some of the most depressing periods of my life were depressing because I didn t have a goal." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had nothing I was working towards." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And so I fell into this state of feeling like I had no purpose." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I had nothing to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "and I had too much time to ruminate and compare myself to others in a negative way and, you know, just spiral because I didn t have anything better to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Having goals is so important and at times comparing ourselves to people who we admire can help us figure out what our next goal is in life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And having that goal is really important." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s interesting because I think having a goal prevents comparison." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When you have a goal that you re working towards, you can develop a sort of tunnel vision where you re like, oh, I m just so laser focused on this goal and accomplishing this goal that you don t have all this extra time to compare yourself to others." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think we tend to compare ourselves to others when we re bored." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have nothing better to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our brain is trying to find something to fixate on, similar to how we tend to be more anxious when we have nothing to do, because we have no distractions." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And our brain just tries to find a problem to solve, tries to find something to work on." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So it creates a rational anxiety just to give ourselves something to do." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think comparison can also help us boost self-esteem in a way that s well-deserved." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I ll give an example." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say you re working at a coffee shop and you re a barista." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And there are 10 baristas working at this coffee shop." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And let s say you get employee of the month." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Because" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve been really working on bonding with the customers." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve been really working on improving your latte art." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve been really working on helping the new employees get integrated into the culture of your job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You ve been working really hard." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "you got recognized for that and what a beautiful thing that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Comparing yourself to the other nine employees that didn t get employee of the month can help solidify your belief that you re working really hard and you re doing really well at your job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And this is sort of tricky because I think at times we can compare ourselves to others in a way that inflates our ego." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that is not helpful." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s not good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That s toxic, right?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But there are also times when we can compare ourselves to others in a way that does not degrade the other people." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s sort of tricky, you know, because if your comparison to other people who didn t do as well as you boosts your ego and turns you into an asshole, then it didn t serve a purpose that was good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "it has a negative impact, but if you just use it as validation that you re doing really well and it becomes more about you than it does about them, I think it can be okay and I think it can be healthy, you know, but it can t impact the way that you treat other people, it can t impact your ego, it should just boost your confidence, boost your self-esteem a little." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So, how do we prevent comparison from ruining our lives?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, there s a few things we should remember." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "To start, we don t ever see the full picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others, we need to remind ourselves, we re not seeing the full picture." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s a good chance that this is not fair to us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is a battle that we could never win." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We also should remember that other people s success doesn t take away from our own." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re on our own journey." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We re on our own path." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And we should just focus on that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should also remember that there s always going to be somebody better than you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sorry, there is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always going to be somebody who has more money, somebody who s prettier, somebody who has a better looking, nicer, more perfect, significant other in relationship." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There s always going to be somebody with a better car." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never ending." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s never ending." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you look for it, you ll always find somebody who s better." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So there s no need to fight that battle because you ll never win." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s also important to remember that there are probably people comparing themselves to you." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And you look at your own life and you re like, what the fuck?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Why?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But it s because we don t see everything accurately." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "There are so many people who just see a little snippet of your life and think, wait, that actually seems really great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You re being compared to too." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s so impactful to try to replace comparison with gratitude for what we do have." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This has been probably the most powerful thing for me when I m in a phase of heavy comparison, toxic comparison." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I really lean into gratitude for my life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, I look at my relationship with my parents and I m like, what a beautiful relationship that is." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look at my health and I m so grateful for my health." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I look at my career." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I m like, things are great." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look at the great things in your life and find contentment in that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And it s not always easy because there are periods of our life where things are really bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You know, maybe our work situation is bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe our family situation is bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe our health situation is bad." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And in those moments, it can be really hard to." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "find gratitude and find contentment with where we re at." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But I think we can always find gratitude for being alive, because if you re able to even compare yourself to others, that means that you re alive." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And sometimes that s all we have to be grateful for, but at least we can find gratitude in that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s also important for us to take social media with a grain of salt and to consistently remind ourselves how inaccurate social media is, because today we re comparing ourselves through a screen most of the time." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I would say." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think social media has made comparison a lot worse." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Actually, I don t think that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I know that." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the only thing we can do is use mindfulness to remind ourselves that this shit is not accurate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s just not accurate." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s self-talk." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s noticing yourself, comparing yourself to someone online, and then" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "literally actively in your mind saying, this is not real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I don t know what the fuck is going on in this person s life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This is not real." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s also helpful to use comparison as motivation, as a way to set goals." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we use comparison in this way, it can be really beneficial." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "When we catch ourselves having a negative and comparative thought, we can actively choose to turn it into a positive thing." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Let s say we re jealous of somebody else s job." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we reroute that and use it as motivation to improve our work life in some way." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We use it to set a goal for our work life." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "An even more challenging example would be, let s say we re comparing ourselves to someone else s appearance." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "How do we reroute that into something positive?" }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, maybe we use it as motivation to lean into fashion a little bit more, experiment more with our sense of style." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we use it as motivation to learn how to do makeup in a way that is creatively exciting and fulfilling." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe we use it as motivation to improve ourselves in other ways that make our appearance less important to us." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "I think it s also important to actively celebrate and acknowledge your strengths and successes." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times we celebrate other people s strengths and other people s successes and ignore our own because it s sort of uncomfortable at times to be like, yeah, we re doing really good." }, { "chunk": "3", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It requires a level of mindfulness, you know, checking in with yourself every once in a while and saying," }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What have I been succeeding at recently?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "What has been a strength for me recently?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We almost never take time to sit down and do that, to have that conversation with ourselves." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I think that that can be incredibly helpful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It helps us boost self-esteem, boost confidence, so that we re less likely to go and compare ourselves in a way that s toxic and unhealthy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We should also be celebrating other people s wins, too, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It feels good to celebrate other people s successes and wins." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "In the moment, it can be kind of hard." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If we re comparing ourselves to them, it can be really, really challenging." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Sometimes you even have to fake it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But showing yourself that you can celebrate another person s win will weirdly prove to yourself that other people s successes don t take away from your own." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "That everybody can have their little slice of the pie, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And last but not least, focus on your own journey." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Try to the best of your ability to focus on you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find confidence from within." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Find self-esteem from within." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Compare yourself to who you were in the past." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Look at how far you ve come." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you ve kind of taken a few steps backwards, that s OK, because look at what you used to do." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You could do it again." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus on your own journey, because that is the only thing" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "that you can be certain about." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Everything else, you don t see all the layers." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You don t see all of the complexity." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Focus on you because that s the only thing that you can control." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "All right, that s all I have." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Honestly, that was like the pep talk I needed to hear." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times, that s what these episodes are for for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s like just as much a reminder for myself as it is for anyone who s listening." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "A lot of times I say what I know is true, but I also am saying what I need to hear, you know?" }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode was very much that for me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Maybe you needed to hear this too." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And if you did need to hear this, I hope that it was in some way helpful." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you enjoyed this episode, tune in Thursdays and Sundays to Anything Goes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "You can stream audio anywhere you listen to podcasts." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Watch video exclusively on Spotify for video episodes." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Majority of my episodes are also filmed, so you can watch me talk if you want." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "This episode was audio only because I am in a hotel room in Milan, Italy." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And the lighting in here is atrocious, and I don t even know how I d fix it." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "So think of this as a phone call today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Most of my podcasts are like a FaceTime, because you can see me." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "But sometimes we talk on the phone because that can be kind of fun to follow." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Anything goes on Instagram at anything goes give anything goes a rating." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you like it, give it a little five stars." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "If you re enjoying the show to help show me that you like what I m doing." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "We have coffee, we have tea, we have cute little accessories, we have it all." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Well, we don t have it all, but we have a lot of great things." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "ChamberlainCoffee.com for that." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Use code AG15 for a little discount." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Go to the store locator, see if there s Chamberlain Coffee in a store near you." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And that s all I have to say today." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Thank you all so much for listening and hanging out." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "It s always such a pleasure." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "And I don t know, I just love and appreciate all of you and I ll talk to you soon." }, { "chunk": "4", "speaker": "SPEAKER_00", "text": "Bye." } ]
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